r/Talesfromtechsupport "DELETE MY ACCOUNT NOW!" "lol ok"

welcome to our slash tales from tech support where have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again I hope you'll forgive me for a third-hand story but I'm one of those evil developers not a support per se but I thought you'd enjoy this story anyway so this happened to a colleague of a colleague so our hero is happily speeding along in his car running a few yellow lights a bit late etc finally the law catches up to him and pulls him over here's how the conversation went can I see your driver's license please our hero with a smug grin certainly here it is officer the cop takes the license back to the motorcycle and speaks into the radio it's not gonna help you any though what do you mean our hero grins even wider the server you have to check it against is down and why do you say that because I'm the guy they called to get on site and get it up again our hero did not get a fine this time instead he got a police escort to his workplace our next reddit poster times festive fest I witnessed this astounding IT meltdown around 2004 and a large academic organization an employee decided to send a broad solicitation about her need for a local apartment she happened to discover and use an all employees at or GDU type of email address that included everyone and by everyone I mean every employee in a 30,000 employee academic institution everyone from the CEO on down everyone from the CEO on down received this lady's apartment inquiry of course this kicked off the usual round of why am I getting this and take me off the list and OMG everyone stopped replying responses each reply auld - old employees at or GDU so 30,000 new messages email started to bog down as a half million messages operated into mailboxes IT fail number one not necessarily making an all employees at org dot edu email address that's quite reasonable but granting unrestricted access to it rather than configuring the mail server to check the sender and generate a not to see vo equals not authorised reply that wasn't the real problem that incident might have simmered down after people stopped responding in a thirty thousand person organization lots of people go on vacation and some of them let's say twenty remember to set their email to Auto respond about their absence and the auto responders responded to the same recipients including all employees at org dot e-d-u so every I don't care about your apartment message didn't just generate thirty thousand copies of itself it also generated thirty thousand times 20 equals six hundred thousand new messages yeah even the avalanche of apartment messages became drowned out by the volume of I'll be gone till November auto-replies that also wasn't the real problem which again might have died down all by itself the real problem was that the mail servers were quite diligent the autoresponders didn't just send one I'm away message they sent an I'm away message in response to every incoming message including the I'm away messages of the other autoresponders the auto response Avalanche converted the entire mail system into an agent Smith like replication factory of a way messages as auto responders incessantly informed not just every employee but also each other about employee status so even the email systems melted down everything went offline a thirty thousand person wide enterprise suddenly had no email for about 24 hours that's not the end of the story the IT staff busied themselves with mucking out the mailboxes from these millions of messages and deactivating the autoresponders they brought the email system back online and their first order of business was to send out an email explaining the cause of the problem etc and they address the notification email to all employees at or GDU IT fail number two before they sent their message they had disabled most of the auto Ponder's but they missed at least one more specifically they missed at least two Opie you can't just leave us hanging did she find an apartment our next reddit post is from goat womble this story took place about six years ago and it was my second week into a new job with the web hosting company I taken a call from a customer we'll call her Karen about some problem with the hosting service she had with us I took a look and determined that whilst there was an issue The Fault lay with her CMS and wasn't anything we could fix I'm sorry Karen the issue has to do with WordPress and unfortunately we can't assist with fixing this however I can send some links which may help you fix it or you can ask your developer to look into it further that's not good enough I'm paying you $10 a month and I expect you to fix problems like this not telling me to go away and deal with it myself I'm sorry you feel that way however that $10 pays for the server space well gladly help fix anything server-side that's interfering with your proper operation of your site but we're not responsible for the software itself well if you're not going to fix it just delete my epping account right now okay I can do that but it may be easier stop arguing with me and delete my account clearly my $10 a month means nothing to you go on hurry up and terminate my account if you don't value me as a customer I can do that for you before I do I need to ask if you have a backup of your data as once I process this it's gone for good no just delete my account now I expect an email telling me it's done click she hung up and i sat there wondering what to do I thought about sitting on it but she was quite clear with her instructions delete her account Karen had already run through the identity verification questions and had requested demanded a cancellation I took a backup of her account as insurance and processed the termination I also created a ticket with the appropriate notes and emailing Karen to tell her that the termination requests have been taken care of I went home not long after that but the next day I came into work and was immediately called in to speak to a manager it turned out that Karen was notorious for this kind of thing she demand we do things beyond our scope and scream and cry and threaten until someone said okay we'll do it she's gotten used to other staff members doing whatever she demanded then she expected we'd bend over backwards if she ever heard the word no she threatened to cancel the service and go elsewhere it seemed that other reps had just fixed whatever problem in order to stop her tantrums and get rid of her I was the first in a long line to tell her no and the only one who had ever followed through on actually terminating her accounts my manager said you're not in trouble don't worry you did everything correctly I have had Karen on the phone all morning squawking about her website oh by the way did you happen to take a backup of her account yep it's on my computer the manager said delete it and pretend it never existed and that's the story of how I destroyed Karen's business websites god I'm trying to imagine how I would feel if someone deleted my YouTube channel this Karen got what's coming to her this post had a heaping dose of are slash malicious compliance our next reddit post is from rocky moose background I owned a small software company the non-profit down the hall asked us if we could donate an hour once a week to help with IT Active Directory in exchange stuff the manager there was a friend of mine from outside work I agreed since it felt like a nice pro bono thing to do for cause I supported and she promised to be a gatekeeper and for a long while it worked out quite well once a week one of us would walk down the hall to their suite and she'd give us a small list of IT honeydew's we'd even get cookies she did a great job of keeping users under control and appreciated our donation of time and expertise it was good karma then she left the organization stupidly I thought nothing would change so I go down there a couple weeks later for the usual IT and cookies Karen is moving offices and needs help moving her computer dammit Jim I'm a software developer not a moving company goes through my head nevertheless I help unplug everything from her standard desktop sized workstation I say to her I'm going to need your help carrying everything to your new office I explained that I'm recovering from surgery and simply cannot carry heavy objects she's miffed but helps me get a carton we moved the computer this is back in the days of heavy large CRT 19-inch monitors the ones that weigh close to 50 pounds there's already an identical monitor same brands same size in the new location what about the monitor she says I've plugged the computer into the monitor that's already in your new office it's identical but I went my monitor she points at the old one like I said I can't carry heavy items it's easier if you just move all your post-it notes from your old monitor to your new one that's not my job she says that's your job move the monitor and that was the effort I quit moment I just lost it carrying it this is very decidedly not my job I volunteer my time here I already told you that I'm recovering from surgery and I'm not moving a 50 pound monitor for the same reason you won't it's too heavy you're on your own I walk out super pissed the following morning I go in again to talk to the executive director I explained that we can't help with IT anymore we have to focus on our own business and would not be donating any more time I offered to send one of my colleagues down just to finish hooking up Karen's computer but he would not be moving any heavy objects and I'd be happy to recommend an IT consultant company for ongoing support of course they have no choice so that's what happens and the best part when my coworker comes back from the last task he tells me guess what I obliged what she moved the monitor I can't believe it apparently she figured out a way to haul that 50-pound monstrosity of a monitor to her new desk what happened to the monitor that was already there I asked it's still there she asked me to move it to the old office now these old CRT monitors are huge there's barely enough room on a standard office cube desk for one of them let alone to tell me you didn't move it I plead no effing way he says she barely has enough room now in that tiny desk for beanie babies and telephone I still get goose bumps at the thought of Karen sitting there with two ginormous monitors on her desk surrounded by post-it notes and stuffed animals so yeah I have a good appreciation for the folks who have to deal with this stuff on a regular basis man this feels like some sort of crossover episode the last story had are slash malicious compliance energy and this one has are slashed choosing Beggar's energy our next reddit post system wizard Ling about 14 years ago an older non techie couple who are about to move to a nicer house within a small country town I live in a nearby city where they used to live before they retired to the country which is how they know me and as for my advice regarding their computer setup which would have one computer near a pre-existing phone jack and another across the other side of the house with several thick walls in between while I figured the right Wi-Fi setup would do the trick since the couple were having their new home renovated anyway I suggested having the electrician run network cable between the two locations using the easily available ceiling cavity and to the intended location of their home entertainment setup as well while they were at it wired is in my expert opinion always faster more reliable cheaper and easier if you're renovating our building anyway fast forward to actor renovations and they moved in I visit to set up networking between their computers except I can't locate any of the expected network Jack's I asked the couple which involved explaining what I meant again I told them that it looked like a larger phone jack the gentleman takes me over to the actual phone jack and points at it I tell him that's a phone jack and I explain yet again what a network jack Kaizen looks like so he takes me back over to the very same phone jack and points at it once more rinse wash repeat this farce a third time the lady then gets cranky with a gentleman and a small argument ensues between them in front of me I sense this kind of thing has happened many many times before they're so casual about it long story short it turned out not only were no network Jack's ever put in but no network cabling was run either and the gentleman seemed to suggest that he'd pay the electrician for something he hadn't gotten though given his confusion who knows what he told the electrician's our next reddit post is from reddit save me again so a few years back one of my publishers called me in to help with an emergency project basically me translating and editing a huge body of boring text and it had to be done in the office because it was a key national project in the office there was a girl about my age who was relatively new she just sat there all week working intensely but slowly mumbling and looking stressed on the second-to-last day of my project were alone in the office I make some comment about uh this is so incredibly tedious and she says something to the effect of you're telling me we talked for a bit and I explained what I'm doing and I say wait what are you doing apparently for an equally huge book someone really high up in government decided he didn't like a bunch of specific terms they made up for a project so at the last minute he hands over a list of 40 or so and they all need to be swapped out she's been at this for like eight days I'm thinking okay that's like an hour of work at the most if it's all in one big file wait a minutes oh no and I say uh can you show me how you're doing this she finds a word pace over it manually next find paste next I say uh don't use ctrl F use ctrl H what's that ctrl F is find ctrl H is find and replace but that's what I'm already doing look just try I just do it you'll see she pops it up kind of speaking to herself what's this find in source text target text replace replace all she starts mumbling to herself oh my god oh my god oh no oh my god why oh my god oh no and crying softly poor girl whoa that was our slash tales from tech support and if you like this video then hit and that subscribe button because I put on new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 775,187

Rating: 4.9504027 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, talesfromtechsupport, r/talesfromtechsupport, tales from tech support

Id: YGW8woq-2tw

Length: 15min 5sec (905 seconds)

Published: Tue May 26 2020