r/Maliciouscompliance My Boss Fired Me, Then BEGGED Me To Save His Company!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where a douchebag millionaire boss gets what's coming to him our next reddit post is from raging red blue i was a bartender in a fancy restaurant in a snotty town the restaurant was run by a snotty affected rude manager the time clock was right inside the door used by the employees and the coat room was in a small room across the restaurant from the employee entrance it took maybe 20 seconds to get there and hang up your code everyone would walk in clock in and then put our coats away i had just clocked in and was walking to the coat room removing my coat as i went the rude manager grabbed me and in a very loud and rude tone said stop go back and clock out put your code away then clock in okay sure dude the thing is i used to stop on the way in and buy the newspapers for the bar no big deal of course it was off the clock but not anymore from then on i would drive straight to work without stopping for the papers i would get in put my coat away walk back across the restaurant and clock in then go back to the coat room and put my coat back on leave and buy the newspapers for the bar then go back and put my coat away all on the clock in order to save the restaurant 20 seconds per day on the time clock the rude manager ended up costing them more than an hour per week extra i got more money he got no more polite the restaurant went out of business a few months later op if this gets you excited just wait until you find out about getting paid to poop on the job back before i was a youtuber and i had an office job i used to calculate how much money my company was paying me to poop on the clock each month it was pointless petty and satisfying our next reddit post is from franny cesca my friend told me this story and it was just too good not to share so the town we live in has lots of good old-fashioned british pubs and then there's one that's a pub during the week and then turns into a club on the weekends since it's the only place open past midnight it tends to attract a lot of drunk [ __ ] my friend was working one night with two other bar staff one other guy and a girl who i've been told was pretty attractive it was about 11 55 pm and a guy walks up to the bar my friend wasn't serving anyone at the time he goes to take his order no thanks mate i'll wait for her my friend tried to explain that she was serving customers at the other end of the bar and that he would be the only one to take his order no i am only getting served by her no one else sure mate no problem my friend then waits for a colleague to finish serving her existing customer by the time she's done it's around 11 57 pm so my friend turns to her and says hey you've only got three minutes left of your shift so you might as well leave now we've got you covered so she leaves my friend and the other guy working both refused to serve him for the rest of the night as per his request so this guy won't be satisfying his thirst by any definition of the word our next reddit post is from exe my work environment is less of an environment and more so a conglomeration of duct tape spit and cussing i managed among many things a set of rentals accounts receivable and customer database analysis another important bit that i handled were various legal documents that the state required meticulous processes to be followed and the state allows for a digital or physical paper trail i opted for digital now my boss kindly provided me a pentium 4 dual core computer that he found at a bargain warehouse for about 40 bucks i had the most sophisticated workstation in the business for context this computer wasn't quite strong enough for database management and analytical software to boot up much less processed data set so i called up our it guy who worked for the boss's friend's sister-in-law's business 200 miles away i go hey tim i need to add my personal laptop to the company network can you make this happen sure i'll be down to that location in a week or two can it wait sounds perfect tim so tim shows up we get the boss to rubber stamp that this is all okay and i have remote access to the servers and some annoying corporate mandated securities on my laptop which no big deal they stay out of the way we didn't have anything like a software policy either i think some computers had office 2007 installed but that's clunky and makes data transfer complicated it's the 20 teens there's no need for that i do all of my work on a google drive account tied to my work email this is great because i can hot swap my workstation to wherever the boss wants me today sometimes he likes to pretend i'm a secretary and throws me in his office sometimes he thinks i'm a technician and puts me in a station with no computer whatever data is transient anyways things have been tense recently i've moved almost all of my job to digital and the boss thinks that means i don't work anymore obviously an office monkey with no papers is an office monkey with not enough work now he wasn't exactly wrong i had been automating things and was doing the job of about six people so how exactly can i do the job of six people without the boss knowing easy he likes to manage by the seat of his pants one day he fired a maintenance person and just rolled that job into the receptionist's driver and technician jobs one day he decided that the sales team could handle marketing surely buying a single 2 000 camera is cheaper than having a professional do shoots each week besides gorilla handicam sales pitches are in vogue it'll be great after two years of shuffling i had accumulated a large amount of jobs many of them tedious and with the right tools made by me at home on my personal laptop that happens to be able to connect to the network a good 4-hour job can be completed with about 10 minutes of sorting and parsing data so the time comes we all know what's coming one of the suits tipped me off that the particular suit whose payroll is wasted on chumps like me had propositioned the boss that a pair of receptionists can do the work that i do for cheaper just hire some college kids work them each 18 hours a week it'll be grand knowing that i backed up everything to my personal google drive account but of course didn't delete anything from the company owned one like i said the state has a vested interest in these processes and i knew in my heart of hearts that the company couldn't be trusted to maintain records i didn't want to be on the hook for that in six years so i kept a copy i figured it would go smoothly i'm called to the big office for a meeting there's too many suits my supervisor gives me some side eye it's not a surprise i carefully make sure to click log out of all locations on my google account and tuck my laptop into my car before heading upstairs the meeting starts with the boss saying well kiddo yeah he calls me kiddo since i'm not 60 years old i'm obviously a child well kiddo i'm sad to say that i was wrong i shouldn't have hired you you're fired well that was blunt and rude so i stand up extend my hand across the table and prepare to thank him for the last few years not so fast sit down we have a few things to discuss uh what i sit down for a moment in brief shock my adrenaline starts to pump and my fingertips are cold my boss begins to tell me all the things they need from me contacts account statuses explanations of discrepancies on ar accounts documentation for states interests all things that as his competent employee i could have printed and had sitting on his desk in moments i decided to comply with his earlier wishes and said that i'm fired where i live either of us can stop the employment situation for any reason he had legally fired me i counter him well boss i don't feel particularly comfortable accessing your network since i'm not an employee he exploded think of karen a millionaire karen with little brother syndrome who wants to be john wayne but looks a bit too much like smokey the bear's fat cousin to get the roll his explosion was violent spit everywhere i'll save you the details of how he stalked me to my car and demanded the employees form a barrier he called me a few times they went to voicemail as i drove to a public wi-fi hotspot i carefully removed my laptop from their network i drove home and unpacked my work lunch my phone hasn't stopped ringing he probably had a receptionist being paid minimum wage to hit the redial button eventually i answer a call from his cell phone he makes some demands i very flippantly offer to come to work for him at 10 times my rate he yells some more an hour later he's pounding on my door i don't want to deal with that i know he carries a loaded pistol in his car again he thinks he's a cowboy emphasis on the boy the cops escort him away and i email a copy of my security footage to the responding officer he thanks me the company doesn't flounder of course boss man is a millionaire and has been very carefully losing tens of thousand dollars a year while operating his business he may have lost some more in the interim but that's not my concern my concern is collecting my unemployment and wouldn't you know i was fired a few days before fall college class election begins i decided to take a few master level classes i've had my ba for a while might as well get some more schooling on the bosses dime classes go well and i coast through spring semester by tapping into a bit of savings and wouldn't you know it the pandemic happens and my unemployment benefits are extended guess i'll take some summer classes too and those extended benefits were at three times the base employment rate gee whiz i guess i can take a full set of fall classes too and then my state extends unemployment for another three months at double the base i have winter session sign up date marked on my calendar the boss man calls me this morning being coy i thank him for firing me without cause a year ago and let him know that i made the dean's list last semester he tells me to f off he had called me to take me up on my deal he'll hire me at 5 times my original rate to give him some information i remind him wasn't the deal 10 times my rate fu five times is too much and i only need you for an afternoon well i've been thinking about it my unemployment benefits run out in a week or two so i'll do it i'll contract for you but i want 20 times what i was making 40 hours minimum paid in advance oh and written scope of work i'm only doing the work you say you need done during negotiations if you i'll give you five times in a day of work and that's final no thanks boss i have to get back to classes you're paying for thanks again i hang up he calls back an hour later just moments before i started writing this actually it's his daughter the comptroller of the company she says she spoke to my boss and he wants to hire me at 20 times my rate for 40 hours of work half paid up front actually it was a hundred percent up front not half fine she started telling me what needs to be done turns out they're failing a state audit quite badly like boss is not a millionaire if this isn't fixed kind of badly they have all the information they need of course it's on my company email accounts google drive i'm not about to tell them this once he pays me for half a year's work i'll gladly spend the hour or so of time it takes to transfer all the data he needs to a flash drive wait until monday of next week and then hand it to his receptionist really the man couldn't have been nicer he's already covered me going to college full time for over a year and is about to cover another two semesters i should buy him a cake so let me get this straight this guy fired the one person who was in charge of making sure that the company was paying their taxes and shortly after firing that one person they get audited by the government forget the boss not being a millionaire anymore screwing around like that can get you in jail op you were doing your boss a favor for coming in at 20 times your normal pay our next reddit poses from army mp sides when i was a senior back in high school in middle tennessee we had a smoking area for the students this was 1990 so yeah i'm old my daughters actually just asked me to post this story here anyway so i was a good student and i had a great reputation among the faculty at this school of about 2 000 students during class i'm running an errand for a teacher when i walk by the smoking area it's outside of course but it's against one of the buildings and has a roof over it like a carport there's a large metal trash can in the middle and it is on fire not a rip-roaring fire but it's on fire nonetheless i see flames starting to work their way out of the can and there's plenty of smoke i decide i don't need to pull a fire alarm but clearly i need to get a staff member to put this fire out there's no one around so i make a fast trot up to the main office as i quickly enter i see the secretary talking to another student so with a loud voice i say miss knight miss knight there's a and that's when the assistant principal rounds the corner behind miss knight while ripping into me about how we wait our turn in here and how i'm being disrespectful and loud and i need to stand there and wait until i'm called forward okay and then i just stood there while mrs knight kept helping the other student as mr evil principal stood over watching the corner like a bouncer finally after a few minutes it was my turn i calmly walked up to the counter and said mrs knight the large trash can in the smoking area is on fire [Laughter] the assistant principal yells out what and then burst out of the room while mrs knight just gasped i calmly turned around and walked out and went back to class and down in the comments we have this story from scissors the year was 1975 and i was in fifth grade science lab working with cobalt chloride there were poison warnings all over the container but one of my groups stirs the solution and pops the straw into her mouth i calmly said get that out of your mouth it's poison the chick freaks and starts bawling and the teacher jerks me up by the arm takes me outside the door and gives me a paddling next year i'm messing around waiting on my youth league basketball game when i made a serious miscalculation and broke my wrist very visibly i went to the concession stand where the director is taking orders miss k excuse me wait you turn like everyone else i waited 10 to 15 minutes pass and my hand is sitting on top of my arm and swelling by the minutes i silently try to get her attention she looks away pointedly ignoring me finally it starts dying down and she's doing a quick cleanup i'm not even sure how long it's been by now but i'm feeling nauseated and lightheaded i call out for her again and she barks something implying i'm being rude again and i just matter of factly hold up my arm and say i think i broke my wrist she snapped too and finally got serious that 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Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,139,703

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: 9SKFccYMq0I

Length: 15min 17sec (917 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 03 2020