r/Kidsaref*ingstupid [S2]{5}

turn but don't move your shoulders very much my son four years old who's grown up watching us talk to siri and alexa thinks you can talk to anything that has a screen or is plugged into the wall this morning he literally told the toaster to order him a new lego set fun fact about your boy up until like age 10 i didn't know toasters had crumb traps or like those crumb screens i remember hearing about that and that just blew my mind i'm like whoa it catches the crumbs so it's not on the counter wow seriously i swear when i was younger i was either stupid or just grossly unaware of things okay so i was arguing with my husband and my son literally screamed yay two christmases from the other room hey at least he's prepared he looked at the pros and cons of you guys possibly splitting up and found a really really nice silver lining when i was around seven i went to my uncle's house so i can play with my cousin and while we were playing i found my uncle's gun which was unbeknownst to me loaded and ready to fire i picked it up and looked down the barrel and thought hmm i don't see anything so it looks safe and then i proceeded to point the gun at everyone present in the house and scare everyone while thinking to myself how hilarious it was that's a scary and very hilarious story but also it just messes with me because your uncle is grossly incompetent he really needs to get a gun safe oh my god a lot of awful things could have happened but even with that being said could you just imagine little timmy showing up in the living room with a loaded pistol pointing at everyone and giggling do you understand how terrifying that is one time when i was in the fourth grade me and my cousins thought it would be a great idea to do some science experiments we saw on youtube well it goes without saying it was a bad idea we tried one that involved common household items that a 10 year old boy could easily get that consisted of a water bottle a bicycle pump and a little bit of rubbing alcohol so there we were doing a little experiment when we forgot a crucial step i thought we were finished so i started to pump air into the bottle then all of a sudden the bottle exploded and i'm not even joking when i say it was the loudest thing i've ever heard in my life after everything settled we were all scared because none of us could hear anything the three of us thought we were deaf and after a few minutes everything went back to normal my neighbor called the cops on us and i was let off with a warning but my mom was not having it so she ground me for a few months to this day me and my cousins laugh about it whenever it comes up being a parent sometimes means a frantic effort to get your kid fed dressed and in the car only to pull up to the school's drop-off zone two minutes before school starts and have them say but i'm not wearing any shoes how in the world can that happen how did you not notice your child walking to the car barefoot or just with some socks on how did you not notice that i mean leaving stuff at home is reasonable i remember being in high school and forgetting textbooks at home but at least i'll be at school dressed i would have all my clothes on four-year-old daughter is crying her eyes out me what's wrong toodoo four-year-old moving her hands onto the sofa if my fingers were markers they would ruin the sofa but your fingers aren't markers i said if that sounds so adorable because it's from a four-year-old could you imagine like a 14 year old having that breakdown i'm not a scientist person but what i will say is that if you're not four and having breakdowns about having imaginary markers and whether or not they would ruin a sofa you need some professional help i mean like i said i'm not i'm no doctor person but you know when your daughter wakes you up at 5am to tell you that she has made a caterpillar at preschool yesterday and continues to talk about it for two hours and tells you that we have to absolutely pick it up today so we arrived at the preschool and we were handed this like seriously guys where on earth do i put this everywhere i put it it just looks like a big turd welcome to the world of parenting where you have to act like your kid's art is essentially a picasso can you imagine this dude having this caterpillar on his like desk at work or just in his house somewhere and someone just doing a quick double take of whether or not it's a turd okay so one of my clearest memories of my grandfather's when he beat me in chess and i cried because i was a sore loser and he said okay i'll play you left-handed and then i won and then it took me until like last week to realize he was a clown bastard you fool once when i was little i was waking my grandpa a card for father's day i had no pictures of us together so i put a picture of me and my other grandpa together and i thought it made sense because you know it's still a grandpa without the context of this person being a kid at the time and just making an innocent mistake that sounds mad foul and super rude to do could you imagine giving someone the wrong father's day gift or simply giving them the right father's day gift with the intentions of celebrating a different father that is insanely foul when i was a kid i used to think that when i was playing a video game offline now i know i was playing with robots of course an employee would play it with me so i was a little bit shy because what if he thought i was bad at the game if only that sounds like a cool job your only work throughout the entire day is just to play with people who don't have online access which i know doesn't make sense but in my mystery fantasy world it does you're playing with a different person even though it's offline if anything this reminds me and get ready this is going to age me nintendo game support or something like that where you could literally call a toll number and they would teach you how to play a game or like how to do a walkthrough of a specific game i remember that being a service and i wish i used it because i'm almost certain that walkthrough books or just strategy books were more expensive than i guess the ten dollars it would cost to be on that phone call with a person who could just walk you through a game i seriously wonder if that's still a service that they provide now to be [Music] honest [Laughter] so when i was 11 i didn't know the difference between a veteran and a veterinarian and i thank the lady who put my dog down for her service oh could you imagine the tension and kind of cringe in that room a small child saying thank you for putting down their dog when i was three or four my older sister taught me how to make kool-aid and it was really good one night at like 1am i went out to the kitchen and poured the red kool-aid powder straight into my mouth and started crying when it tasted awful and it got all over my white shirt i ran to my parents room and they freaked out because this crying child in the dark was covered in blood and in agony that is definitely a secret of the universe how come kool-aid can taste so great as a juice especially during a cookout or maybe during a hot summer day but when you just take the powder and you taste the powder it's like cyanide in the mouth it just tastes awful i don't understand i don't get the science i don't remember how old i was but i was watching friends with my mom and said what's the deal with sleeping with a girl i've done it a ton when i was younger i slept in my mom's bed for some reason told me to do a back flip yep my nephew is five i'm 33 female and a few months ago he asked me auntie franny are you grown up and i got really quiet cautiously looked around and put my finger to my mouth and told him i'm still a kid but you can't tell anyone because no one knows his eyes got huge and he loudly whispered i knew it now every time i see him he comes up to me at some point whispers don't worry i haven't told them then proceeds to ask me more questions about my life as a secret kid every time i'm video chatting with him and my sister and he sneaks in an obvious wink and i wink back and only we know what that wink means and to this day he's the only person that knows i'm a kid and that i've been faking it all this time oh my god it's broken mom left her computer on when she was on ebay i was little about four or three and i chose to buy a toilet yeah your mom must like you because if i bought a toilet online with my mom's money when she wasn't there online i bought something with her money when she wasn't there i wouldn't have a home i wouldn't have a bedroom i don't have a family anymore i have moved out and lived on the street i am now a street person i wouldn't buy her the dolly movie for christmas oh man oh that's good that's a good parent because you know what i would do i would let her watch it i would let her watch it you want to make a scene you want to scream in the walmart about what in the dolly movie okay we'll watch we'll watch chucky together and you'll be scarred for life you'll never make a decision like that again fun fact about panda daddy yours truly i for the longest time i want to say from ages 8 to 13 was horrifyingly and grossly terrified of the saw doll i didn't like the saw movies i remember watching them with my grandparents and being completely terrified i was like no i really do not want that thing in my bedroom i don't want to see it in an alleyway it terrified me and it took me multiple years to drop that fear so what's the dumbest thing you've ever did as a kid alright alright so my shining moment was when i was like four i put floaties on my feet and jumped into a pool thinking i'd walk on water i almost drowned oh man i have something similar to that i remember jumping into a pool and then trying to push like the floaty of somebody else up i don't know why i went to flip them or something and i couldn't and i nearly drowned i had to like quickly swim out from under that floaty that day i realized i wasn't hercules and i couldn't just lift probably a 60 pound kid off of an already floating structure in a pool yeah i don't know what was going through my mind so earlier today i was with my little cousin she's like five years old and usually she mimics what i do like for example if i want something she wants to do the same thing as me then i suddenly farted and then she tried to fart and she accidentally pooped herself i guess she loves me that much man she had a moment she learned that you can't trust every fart man the fart turned against her i mean we live in the modern world you can't even trust your own bodily functions six-year-old cousin hey i'm seven years old and you're 16 right yeah why that means in 10 years we'll be the same age ah no that's not how it works when i was five my mom told me that a new family the shepherds were moving into a house down the street after move-in day i told my mom that i didn't see any shepherds anywhere this is what i was looking for i mean that's a better alternative than some whack family you can go to this guy and get some raw wool make yourself some warm sweaters and probably sell them or maybe just wear them i don't know it's cool to have shepherds down the street i heard that they're nice people jabria are you smart yes where is mount rushmore in my house is that your house you guys got a big house then huh don't you ryan are you smart yes what happened every time pinocchio told a lie he got a whoopin he got a whoopin yes good job tren are you smart yes what do you say when somebody says see you later alligator peace peace all right good job cameron are you smart am i black or white uh white i'm white yes zayn are you smart what's your favorite cartoon a mickey mouse why um he's your friend all right good job kid destroys 15 000 lego sculpture in an hour after new exhibit opens oh man oh no i know that parent has to be crying his pockets are crying his spirits are crying he's gonna have to reimburse that museum or that convention or wherever that was displayed all of that money oh man i hope it was an accident i hope that the kid kind of fell into it or something oh that's awful when i was five i heard a cuss word don't remember what it was and i asked my brother what it meant but he didn't tell me later we got on a public transport bus and shouted that cuss word four to five times i don't know why i did it it just felt good at the time to say it for some reason i don't know the psychology of it but when i was younger anytime i discovered a new curse word i had to share it with my friends man i just had to i had to say it a couple of times i had to get real accustomed to you know keeping that in my vocabulary like oh i wish i could experience that again i need more cuss words in my life i need some new vicious vocabularies some explicit epithets all that good stuff i need more [Applause] when i was taught about the digestive system in year three i learned what the appendix was i freaked out and my parents asked me what was wrong and i kept pointing to my stomach saying i'm worried my einstein would someday explode took them a few minutes to realize i was trying to say intestine oh my goodness that i i resonate with that completely on nicktoons when i was younger i would watch this show called back at the barnyard i loved it i loved it so much there was a whole episode dedicated to this guy who kept complaining about his appendix exploding because i think it was like a golf episode and every time someone would hit a golf like a golf ball and hit him in appendix or something it was completely hilarious but it terrified me because i think at the end he passed out he talked about how he had to get his appendix removed after seeing that when i was younger i was always terrified that my appendix would become infected or to somehow fall off i don't know just get messed up in some capacity and then i would pass out and die i was always terrified just simply because of that episode currently my three-year-old is crying because he doesn't want to be a mammal bruh if i could be any other species i would totally want to be a marsupial those guys look like their lives are amazing like they're just vibing they can just vibe in the water they're cool they have friends i want to be a marsupial four-year-old stuffs your pockets full of pine cones me what do you think you're doing yo i'm rich mom just told me that when one of my sisters saw a chicken for the first time aged 18 months she laughed so hard that she vomited chickens are pretty funny looking because they're really only grown to be eaten so at this point they don't even really look like animals they just look like you know dinner on stilts a conversation i overheard of two kids today at a lake i hope you guys enjoy hey dude come back here what come here i can't hear you come here so i can hear you oh stop i know you can hear me no i can't it it's so beautiful that's like an oscar-worthy story right there like if somebody if we could have like a francis for coppola to make this you know just and we'll end today's video with a simple story so my grandma is a dental hygienist and one of her patients is a teacher she told my grandma that her first graders are swapping masks because they like the ones that their friends have better what that's not bad i do the same imagine starting out with school with those plain little blue ones that everybody has and then trading up to a cool spider-man felt one and what's the worst that could happen that somebody has a bad mask i can't think of anything awful that could happen as a result of this what's up everybody it's your boy aleris aka panda daddy and i hope you enjoyed today's video and if you did let me know in the comments down below and leave a like if you like the video and if you're new to my channel go ahead and subscribe fam what you doing watching videos and not subscribing and if you're old make sure that bells to get these notifications every time seriously go ahead and shake take a look take a look at that picture and make sure it looks like the picture if you want to request any other reddit content let me know in the comments down below if you want to request any horror stories content either requested in the patreon or in the comments down below i'm going to be making even more content this week so don't worry you guys are gonna get all the content that you want and as always i think the patreon supporters thank you to taki bunny boo dustin canned eggplant kyle host mark keith myers hannah pixie art five lauren green catherine taylor jason aerolina rajan clara john robinson ethan vermont noob slur trenton golden trojan yeetmaster arjun noah brody muppy luhu cleric sir teacup immortal exe and trey thank you so much for your support it is greatly appreciated and if you want to help support the channel there's two links in the description one to my patreon and one to my merch store both fun go directly into the channel so we can maintain what's happening here and as always stay zesty [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Ailurus

Views: 1,251,694

Rating: 4.9324136 out of 5

Keywords: kids, kids are stupid, stupid kids, r/, reddit, subreddit, best of reddit, top reddit, top reddit posts, top posts, top posts of all time, #1 reddit posts, Sorrow TV, Ailurus, Ailurus Reddit, reddit reading, Ailurus Vaxxhappend, Red panda, MLM, Sale, Sales, Antimlm, r/AntiMLM, make money at home, Anime cringe, bikes, planets, snapchat, be your own boss, online work, colab work

Id: _CFqe79jDjc

Length: 18min 6sec (1086 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 13 2020