r/Kidsarefuckingstupid [S2]

I'm Asian and you'll need to know this later when I was in the second grade we used to have history and I always hated it and one time I sat down and the teacher started talking and I closed my eyes to go to sleep he said to open my eyes and focus and I told him I wasn't sleeping I'm just Asian wow this man's over here playing 40 chess in the second grade that's crazy I mean he really put his teacher in an awkward position was he gonna say he's not Asian I mean he gets to do whatever he wants now the man found the universal loophole to sleep in any class oh my god no no I refuse to switch off the Sun so his pumpkin could light up he you do realize it's only four o'clock you have a couple more hours and then it'll be dark come on James the funny thing is I know where this guy is coming from cuz when I was younger I really really liked Superman I really liked being Superman for Halloween and I was very upset that I can only be outside as Superman for one day and I begged my parents to just let me you know go to school in my Superman costume because I didn't think there was a problem with it I'm Superman but I struck a deal I could wear the Superman costume outside the house and inside the house as long as it was the weekends and I took that deal I took the compromise and my life has been better for it so yes I could be wearing my Superman costume right now you don't even know it ever since my daughter found out our plants Serena wasn't getting enough sunlight she insists on taking her out for walks while holding her up to the Sun that is so adorable oh my gosh I wonder how many times a day she walks like that with the plant that's so cute I would just encourage you every day all right this is like a little walk after school take out your plant and we can we can chill out and eat a little bit of exercise and get to have a little bit of comfort with your pet plant that is so adorable my daughter seriously took a bite out of this eraser the better question is like what was going through your daughter's buy ticket Vince or maybe this eraser it would be like a nice snack like seriously that's not just a bite that's a solid chew the funny thing is is that your daughter's not alone I remember being in elementary school and there was a bunch of people who would bite the erasers off like the bottom of their pencils and I never understood why people did that I never got it maybe it's just a kid thing I never did it but hey let me know in the comments down below if you bit erasers this is great okay so my three-year-old saw me pull a tampon out and now she's going around saying mommy had a mouse in her butt I have several questions yes these yes I have many questions I have any questions one how did you get in the situation to where your daughter just walked in on you doing that in into are you ever gonna are you ever gonna explain to your daughter what was going on cuz I think at this point you've got it you've got to enter that conversation just gotta lean into it granted though she's three there's a good chance she'll never remember this and I know I'm not alone I think all of us just woke up one day and we were five years old and then I think just life started after that for me especially anything before year five is a guess it's an estimation I have estimated memories I don't even know if they're real oh oh [Music] you know what I think we can turn this into a PSA you know we're just having a real issue with people having kids when they're not supposed to be having kids yeah just started putting this picture on posters and uh you know just stapling them anywhere schools libraries bus stations anywhere and you'll see a lot of people making rational choices when it concerns creating children because oh no I seriously wouldn't know what I do I think I would just enter the space and then immediately leave just slowly close the door and let let my child let that king do what he needs to do you know let him be creative while I you know just encounter other adult problems like you know just table this we could just you could put the to decide put a pin in it I'm gonna go downstairs and do my taxes because right now I can't deal with two issues in my life especially if this is the second one so this morning Jane and I were getting ready together and I gave her some gummy vitamins but we were all getting dressed then we brushed our teeth and she was stalling and spitting out her toothpaste I said come on spit out the toothpaste and her response was I can't I don't want to spit out the gummies um huh this child just brushed her teeth with gummy vitamins still in her mouth you can't make this stuff up parenting a six-year-old is wild folks and shout out to the kids who had the Flintstone vitamins and I'm not talking about the simple ones not not those ones I'm talking about the choc ones the ones that you know just required so much water require more water than the ocean has to give for you to swallow them because they were just dry as hell I had those and yep I would take five at a time because I thought they were sweet I don't know why I think I was a crack head when I was eight years old you see that right there you see that right there it's a screw from the kids bed he swallowed it just in the middle of the night because he wanted to simply because he had the time and he wasn't asleep I don't know why it's the Opie didn't go any deeper than that okay he literally can't take it out of him he just has to pass it I remember when I was five that I tried to go super say in the elementary school but I got in trouble for screaming and a teacher told me why I was screaming and I told her that I was trying to go super saiyan I really don't get why that teacher was so upset he gave him an answer you know he was trying to go super saiyan now I'm sure we all had that friend who at least attempted to go super saiyan I had one and it was cringy as hell to watch him do it he tried to prove it to all of us during recess I wish I had a phone then but I didn't [Music] screaming like a solid nine minutes subscribing okay so what I'm about to read to you is a letter from a child or their mother on Mother's Day the child's eight years old and i'ma read it to you as it's written because I respect art in its purest form I will not change it at all so let's let's just let's just jump into [Music] I love you you are special you are one of a community breakfast in bed you are that special you need something as sweet as sweet as you so we gave you April juice yummy eggs for you too easy bread with jelly happy mother's not today this reminds me when I was young and my cousin told me that I should inhale a crystallite packet I thought he was implying that I shouldn't hail it through my nose he really meant through my mouth and I could smell lemon for a week now I know a lot of you guys are familiar with the candy fun dip right I remember in sixth grade there was this guy who just had just full-blown 100% crackhead energy and went out of his way to just snort a bunch of fun dip to make a long story short this kid had a very uncomfortable visit to the nurse because his entire lungs were burning all of his lungs and nasal passages were on fire the dude was screaming the entire time he snorted sugar you don't you don't do that once when I was a kid I want to take my medicine and I jumped up on the counter and I saw someone staring at me through the window I screamed ran down calling my mom and as I heard her I still screamed mom and by the time I got to her side I began to laugh really hard because I realized that I just saw my reflection in the window and I was just laughing then my mom asked me what was wrong and all I could say was my reflection was in the window through laughs hey donut I ever tell you about the time my three-year-old Jon gotten from for hiding under my car in the driveway so I put him in the corner for timeout and then I found him sitting in timeout sticking a fork in the electrical outlet I guess this is a typical child activity but I never did that I never ever was curious about electrical sockets or trying to stick anything inside of them my my special team was playing with fire I was that kid my parents knew that I had a problem and would hide like all sorts of lighters and any any accelerant away from me because they were so terrified that I was going to eventually burn down the house and then miraculously I just grew out of it I just stopped caring about fire I don't know what was wrong with me but I just found it to be really interesting when I was young all right I just had the best encounter with a child at Kmart I was in an aisle shopping and this girl and her dad came around the corner the girl sees me and excitedly exclaims there's a human here to which the father replied yes there's humans everywhere I'm a girl with really short hair and my school has a uniform and once I was walking back to my bus stop back home there was a little kid playing in the front yard she saw me and yelled pretty loudly to her mother mommy why is that little boy wearing a skirt I tried to keep myself from laughing as the mother looked horrified she said something to the kid but I couldn't tell what this has become a running joke in my friend group on a side note it may be just me but anytime I like notice somebody who looks like extremely androgynous like you they could look like any gender it kind of frustrates me a little bit like what what are you what alien met Marsha like a messes with me although I does it really shouldn't it's not like I treat them any differently it's just internally I'm like what the what am I looking at mm-hmm yeah you're reading this right yeah I won't let him eat the cat's food and now he's frustrated with me this is what I signed up for I wanted a child and now the child wants to eat the cat's food I don't know why the kitchen is stocked yet the cats food seems real appetizing him and I just I guess I'm not being fair and not letting him eat that things I find on my school bus looks innocent right I mean it's just a fortune teller now let's look at it closely Halloween Thanksgiving Christmas Easter I thought you're supposed to put colors on the outside oh well let's go deeper just numbers make sense what happens if I pick 10 or 11 you suck at playing games what the Easter Bunny isn't real okay what about 6 or 19 you will have a bad dream you will eat McNuggets for some people what what about 12 and 13 you will lose a pencil you will poop this week I sure hope I'm gonna poop this week what about 8 and 7 you will eat 15 whole pies pie and for the finale you will drop out of high school who made this like honestly who made this have a great day okay so it's World Book Day address my son up as Peter Pan everything is great he's running around with a three inch phone knife and he's threatening to cut people's eyes out we had to have a little chat before school and remind him that Peter Pan is the good guy he cried I don't know why but when you're eight years old or smaller for some reason being the bad guy is always the fun part of the game or anything you're a part of it's like yes I get to bother people with no consequences because it's all pretend scissors you really thought you were gonna get this far in the video without seeing any questionable art you should know me better of course I went out of my way to look for some of the best drawn scissors by the smartest minds on the planet it doesn't it look like a pair of scissors it's all curved like like scissors usually are oh my god sweet Jesus she's crying at me right now because I wouldn't let her drink the chemicals under the sink yeah yeah so we we drove two and a half hours all the way to San Francisco just to take a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge and she's upset because the Golden Gate Bridge isn't actually golden that is so precious oh my god she's trying to help out the statue oh this is either a sign of her intrinsic goodness and like really nice soul or the fact that she has some baller parents but whoever whoever it is whoever's fault it is you've already succeeded at creating a good person Hailey's Emily Gwyn stop stop stop it me Emily why are you yelling at your sister she won't stop talking and I don't want to hear her I just want to tell a story no Emily let Gwen tell a story fine once upon a time there was a princess and her name Emily princess Emily had a beautiful smile oh that's so sweet and then she got hit by a car going oh man if you ever had a sibling in any capacity you can identify with this strongly my kid looking over my shoulder as I sign an email you're not a doctor yes I am what do you think I was studying for all the time when you were little oh I thought you liked reading books and crying this is really cute and funny but at the same time I think you're lying because it sounds way too like way too staged no way did your kid actually say that to you I I have no way of proving that it's alive but it's it seems like you made this up to try to be funny yeah I might be gothic yeah I might not have a lot of friends and yeah I might not like to wear clothes that other people like to wear so yeah I'm unique don't label me the story behind this picture is so hilarious and opie essentially summed it up like this his little sister a while back was going through a goth in like alternative phase so she bought a labeler it started putting labels on stuff and she put a label on herself saying don't label me but she was 12 and didn't know how to spell label so yeah this is how this picture was to be created you're not locked in this morning the toddler was making fun of the baby for not being able to read ie she's so little she's tiny she doesn't know how to read a book but the toddler also cannot read okay so there was a spring in second grade where every single recess I will walk out to the most remote part of the playground died romantically and lying motionless for the entire twenty minutes I was trying to trick a turkey vulture into coming down to eat me so I could grab it as a pet Wow I wouldn't have guessed your profile picture certainly doesn't suggest that it'll try to get this guy's on snapchat he's right there I don't [Applause] my three-year-old calls flonase mommy's special nose medicine and now my neighbor thinks I'd do cocaine hey you're not the only one I remember an elementary school there's this girl who used to have like smelly eraser pens and she used to call the erasers nose candy I don't know why so what's your darkest secret when I was very little probably around three or four I used to play a game with my parents where I'd go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before bed and when I got to the room they'd pretend to be asleep and I'd find creative ways to wake them up being really young I thought my dad was like a superhero-style indestructible and thinking so I decided to try something that would hurt a kid like me but not harm him at all since he was big so I got a pencil that I found lying on the desk and I tried to stab him in the eye with it luckily he was peeking and stopped me just before I did it to this day it still gives me a sinking feeling in my stomach thinking about what might have happened I think everybody thinks with her father like that at some point and then all of a sudden you just realized that they're a person I don't know when it happened for me but I want to say from 0 to 10 years old I thought my dad was Superman how the hell did you do it hot it out need to get my they trying for my heel bruh I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup oh he's so concentrated he's so focused he's like which one which one should I choose all of them are different when my son was 3 he had a guinea pig named Rufus one day he left the cage open and Rufus disappeared I bought a replacement Rufus never told my son and things were going to be fine until the original Rufus showed up and I had to pretend he was Rufus his cousin Roger from Philly now that's what we call a supreme save Roger from Billy that's the best you could come up with all the spot I used to think that priceless meant and had no worth you know priceless so a TV show said priceless jewelry I always thought cheap plastic crap from China you have two ships my six-year-old watch me pour Drano down his bathroom sink what is that Oh buddy it dissolves whatever gunk is clogging up your drain oh cool even the screwdriver down there I'm sorry the what in seventh grade one night I was like I really don't feel like going to school tomorrow so I looked up how to get a fever I found a tutorial that said to take a bath at the hottest temperature your bathtub will go then stay up all night I decided to try it and started the water for a steaming hot bath it's stunned to get into it and somehow I survived it for 30 minutes when I was getting out I felt dizzy and then I fell on the floor and had a seizure I woke up and I saw the blinding ceiling lights of the bathroom and the first thing I thought was am i dead and then I threw up in the toilet next to me and had a migraine for the night and later found out that I got first degree burns so long story short don't do that [Music] [Applause] [Laughter] got one you got his basket yeah okay so I'm telling my sakes are all about homeschooling for the next couple of months and he asked if I had to do that when I was a kid and I said no and then he asked if chairs were even invented yet so I think the first thing we'll study is as a attitude so why are you upset right now that one's not your banana method you've been on as around you just need to find it I know you really want a banana don't you you said you could smell bananas why it wasn't that banana why don't you eat your um the rest of your breakfast once you think about where you've been and it might be oh I don't know what to suggest so mummies mummies coming in maybe we could ask her she knows where your banana might be because you can't find her banana she thinks that's her banana but that's not her banana me so do you think you're smarter than me my five-year-old cousin with a bucket on his head about to run into a wall yes [Music] [Music] when I was 10 years old I got my hands on a book that taught me how to make gunpowder back then as an 11 year old I was not only able to source potassium nitrate and sulfur at the drugstore I also wasn't questioned I burned a log to harvest charcoal in our backyard fire pit then went to work in my basement bedroom carefully mixing the three in their proper amounts it was done smart kid right nah I put someone a spoon under a large glass bowl and lit it well it dripped into the bowl and the whole thing went up the bowl turned white hot and I don't behind my bed just in time for it to explode my father yelled down the stairs yo what the hell was that I had said it was a firecracker he called and then saw the large burn hole on my desk best part they had just painted the basement the sulfur smoke provided a nice new color and smell we laugh about it now I totally vibe with this guy because I did something similar in high school where I was trying to isolate sodium by mixing sodium hydroxide and magnesium powder and then just burning the - long story short I blew myself up and in the process created the world's dirtiest sodium that's not even good enough to use in any other experiments but I just wanted to figure out ways to isolate sodium by myself where I didn't have to buy blocks of it off of like Alibaba or United nuclear comm but that's just ah that reminds me of my youth I always told people at MIT Michael Jackson but now that I found the picture man what the who the was this who was everybody it's your boy Aylor is a cape and a daddy now hope you enjoyed today's video and if you did let me know in the comments down below and leave a like if you liked the video and if you're new to my channel go and subscribe BAM what you doing watch videos and not subscribing and if you're old make sure you hit that bells and get these notifications every time I hope you enjoyed the newest installment to the art slash kids are stupid series a lot of you guys wanted to see its comeback so here it is if you want to request any other reddit videos or horror stories videos or any other content that wants to tickle your fancy please let me know in the comments down below and don't forget to like the video I think I've already said that go ahead and do that please if you've already liked it unlike and then like again with all that aside we have to think that patreon supporters a thank you to Rachel Finney Jonas and host bar thank you so much for your support it's greatly appreciated if you want to help support the channel and see some extra content go ahead and check out that patreon for one dollar a month you get to have all the extra horror stories content and maybe even extra reddit 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Channel: Ailurus

Views: 711,612

Keywords: kids, kids are stupid, stupid kids, r/, reddit, subreddit, best of reddit, top reddit, top reddit posts, top posts, top posts of all time, #1 reddit posts, Sorrow TV, Ailurus, Ailurus Reddit, reddit reading, Ailurus Vaxxhappend, Red panda, MLM, Sale, Sales, Antimlm, r/AntiMLM, make money at home, Anime cringe, bikes, planets, snapchat, be your own boss, online work, colab work

Id: 8nqXHSa0gTc

Length: 24min 28sec (1468 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 10 2020