r/Kidsaref*ingstupid [S2]{7}

holy crap oh my god it's a kid seriously what would you do what would you do if you came out and you saw your children filling your car with just plain water would you scream at them i hope not because they're trying to help you but it's like that car is over it's just it's done i mean you would have to roll it to an auto place or try to siphon out the water yourself but there's no turning that card back on and your kids your kids are happy because they know that they've helped you in some capacity my child three mommy i don't want dinner me i'm not making dinner i'm making you a snack yay snacks that is brilliant that is brilliant yeah they think snacks are sweet and fun and you just say that and it's food they're not gonna know the difference oh wow mommy thanks for my snack this is a great steak and fries this is a wonderful snack my dad was tired of having to cut off the crust of my bread when i was a kid so one day he gives me my peanut butter and jelly sandwich with crust still on it i tell him that it's wrong because it has the crust and he responds but don't you want to be a good whistler at the time i hadn't learned how to whistle yet and he went on to say think about it you don't eat your crust and you can't whistle and you see i eat my crust and i can whistle that's so true and from that day on i ate my crust and yes i'm a good whistler now we're having back to back brilliant parents i'm just getting nothing but lessons at this point like that is really smart like hey you don't know how to walk and it's because you don't know how to use the bathroom but look at me i know how to use the bathroom and walk at the same time wait a minute that's that's strange what that sounds weird look at me trying to make an analogy and now i made it weird now it sounds like i just walk around and piss myself okay next post toddler left looking like pennywise after putting hair removal cream on her head oh she went from baby to 35 year old man just in an instant oh my goodness she must be the hulk because i heard that people feel a lot of pain when they put hair removal cream on their heads like as a prank or just bald i don't know why people do that people are strange but i've always heard consistently that if you put hair removal cream on your scalp it burns so maybe she is a superhero and this is her like origin story this is how she discovers her powers alright so i was in my zoom call when there was a faint thud in the background my teacher peered off the screen for a second calmly remarked well my daughter just ran straight into a wall and then continued to tell us about the structure of proteins when i was a young child approximately six to seven i invited a friend to a sleepover at my house before i could move away for a few weeks we had an awesome time however that would soon change i made the decision to show her a tour of the woods in my backyard we walked for a while until i realized we were lost i tried to find the way out and she started building a house out of leaves and we made it home and according to my mom she literally could see us you really did not have a full childhood if you didn't get lost in a forest especially if your forest wasn't your backyard there were multiple times that me and my childhood homie matthew would get lost in the forest for like 30 to 45 minutes we'd always lose our way and we would just be vibing out there trying to find our way back to the neighborhood and it was like a mix of fun and terror because it was fun to go explore but intensely terrifying because i always thought we would never be able to get back but we always eventually did granted it was usually around sundown and we definitely needed to get back home by then my mom made a pan of brownies for my birthday and my son insisted on carrying them on the way home got back and somehow they ended up with a giant footprint in them i really wonder how that conversation went with your son how how did you get a footprint in the brownies and you were walking so did you put it on the ground and then step into it did you did you uh do it before we started walking how did you get your foot in the brownies and the really terrible part is i mean either way you wouldn't be able to eat it but this is kind of worse it's barefoot it that is a bear child foot in the brownies so you definitely can't eat it if it was a whole like shoe print that's that's malicious but this it's over those brownies were murdered my mother is a university instructor and when i was a kid at night she would tell me to go to bed because she had to do some quote unquote grading i always assumed that she meant grating like as in grating cheese so i would go to bed excited for all the cheese and i would get up in the morning and i pictured her in the kitchen with mountains of cheese around her i never got the grated cheese in the morning but i also never questioned the fact that it wasn't there well there's your answer your mom only grated cheese for herself i mean you're supposed to be asleep what makes you think that you're you know entitled to cheese this is how you make a tape cigarette and i'll tell you what it tastes so good well this is the stuff that you need you will need tape marker caps and any type of pencil or stick first grab a lot of tape wound it up into a little ball just like this make sure the sticky side is on the outside so it'll taste better now shove it in a marker cap just like this now go ahead and suck from here suck from here if you want a stronger taste suck from here but i do not recommend it because tape can destroy brain cells so good now this is really strong this is not as strong now to reload it just use this to take it out bye-bye i'm a kid i don't swear turn on your filter what profanity filter turn it on how are you a kid go to settings hit the more button filter clan chat thanks thank you what did you say it works he thought if he colored himself green he would grow into the incredible hulk if only it was that easy bro but no all i had to rely on was some hulk hands and my imagination but hey if i ever come across some radioactive material i'll rub it on my face and see if i can become the hulk isn't that how science works i mean i'm unsure i'm not a i'm not a phlebotomist miss why do you have lumps what do you mean bud bud proceeds to tap my boobs oh it's something people get when they get older is it nipples my mom has nipples nipples are part of it you know let's just finish this book six-year-old me was so stupid once my mom told me to watch out for my bouncing ball or might get lost in the fields what did i do i stared my mom dead in the eye and threw it into the fields on purpose that is some bold stuff because my parents would not let me do that that's just they would find that so disrespectful if i just turned around and did the exact thing they told me not to do it would be a very eventful evening for me eventful meaning i'm in my bedroom doing nothing because i'm grounded okay so i let fred watch youtube tutorials to make her bracelets and they all ask to please like and thumbs up and i kid you not every time fred gives my phone screen the most sincere irl thumbs up while looking intently at the screen [Laughter] [Music] god damn it sean said the word green we told you she can't handle that she can't handle primary colors had to text you this as you'd get a laugh out of it ivy is upset she's on the verge of tears she's sad because she can't watch tv whilst eating her breakfast bruh the tv is on i tell her and she starts crying it's spongebob you put it on i continue no luck i can't see it i can't see it then look at it i suggest it works oh there's spongebob thank you daddy she smiles she was always sat sideways at her table and wasn't turning her head i had the same issue when i was younger i would always get frustrated at myself when i wanted to eat something and watch the tv at the same time because you know you have to look down at your plate to know what you're gonna bite and eat and me looking down my plate is less time looking at the screen and i would get frustrated and i think i was like six or seven years old dealing with this existential problem the girl like nanny has to do an influential person project so i recommended bethany hamilton i told her the shark attack story and how she went to be a total badass right she didn't believe me so i showed her a picture of bethany now and she looks at bethany's son and goes well why does he have both arms and i literally had no idea how to explain that shark attacks aren't genetic amala put it back you hear me open your eyes i don't care that your eyes are closed put the snacks back in the cabinet amala oh you sweet yeah i see you okay so my little brother tried to cook bacon in the playstation how do i clean it he somehow managed to get it inside the cd slot hate to break it to you but there is no cleaning that dude that's done that playstation is over you just need to bite the bullet and get another one and just ban your little brother from touching it fifth graders are great they were playing duck duck goose except they wanted to make it funny so they called it penis penis vagina why do i why do i have vague memories of playing the same type of duck duck goose game in middle school are all middle schoolers the same or maybe i'm just having false memories when i was younger my parents would always tuck me in at night they would always lay the blanket up to about my waist and i remember having trouble falling asleep because my arms were cold but pulling the blanket up to cover me fully never occurred to me years later i wish i was exaggerating but i'm not i still remember this moment i came to the idea to pull the blanket over my shoulders best sleep i've ever had never went back alright so this time when i was younger i convinced my brother that being gay means you're the favorite child no joke he then proceeded to go up to our parents who were with their guests and said mommy i'm gay [Music] foreign [Music] oh bruh i just saw a toddler in the playground that fell and started to cry when she realized her dad was too far away she stopped crying walked over to her dad picked on him and when she finally got his attention she threw herself on the floor and started crying again oh looks like we got ourselves an attention seeker in training she's going to grow up to be a very very kind and wonderful person to be around my my daughters built a slug hospital and found 30 plus patients who are now escaping and nothing in the parenting books prepared me for this oh look at all their trails and they're trying to get away from each other oh but it's a nice hospital you can you can see all the little hospital beds [Music] oh my god can can i just can i take her back she's crying because she's cold but doesn't want to put on her sweatshirt yo really it'd really be like that sometimes you just it's cold outside but you want to show everybody your cool shirt so you're just left upset and crying on the asphalt yo a kid in my class just pulled down his mask to cough why would you do this why would you even wear a mask if you're just gonna take it off if you need to cough just just why little kids are so creepy example i have a student who kisses me on the arm every day and whispers there now you'll live until tomorrow and one day he didn't kiss me and when he came to school the next morning he genuinely was surprised to see me alive hey everyone take a look at my two kids sitting next to their brand new couch my wife ordered them come on come on every parent knows that the kids and the dog and everybody in the house will prefer the cardboard box over whatever expensive thing you just bought come on like you just gotta expect this they're not gonna even notice that couch exists until until you throw away the box really okay did we share the graham crackers fair is this fair yes yes can you tell me why it's fair yeah what did i do i have one i have two and i have one is that fair no no how about now now that's fake hey kid i like your shirt you can't wear it i didn't ask because you're fat i didn't ask when a 6.8 earthquake hit olympia washington in 2001 a shop owner found that his sand tracing pendulum recorded the vibrations oh that's pretty interesting when i was in kindergarten when that earthquake happened i was in the computer lab and i just gotten done hitting a button that i've never pressed before probs the escape or delete button and i thought that it was self-destruct i was five years old and thought i caused an earthquake then i grew up and realized i was just traumatized as a kid and thought i ruined everything one time when i was snowboarding with my dad one of the big trail map signs had a you are here sticker so i asked how they knew where we were and i think that's when my dad knew i was going to be a idiot as a kid my sister told me that we had an older brother that died she said that he died when playing bowling and his fingers didn't come out of the ball and he slid all the way down the alley then he turned into a skittle oh so that's how skittles are made you learn you learn something new every day i wonder when there's gonna be a new how it's made episode on skittles it'll be kind of gruesome but interesting what's that right [Music] yo life hack for future dads convince your kids you hate something you actually like my five and seven year olds just spent 10 minutes tormenting me by massaging my shoulders and also be sure to tell your father or father figure tomorrow that you appreciate them tomorrow and every day oh my god your son or daughter was hungry i have never ever been in a position of such extreme hunger and want of a mcdonald's hash brown to eat through the paper and then probably swallow it too i tutor a math student and she was getting bored in our hour-long session and she started turning off her camera and muting and pretending not being able to hear us because she was bored my co-tutor asked her if she could hear her and the student literally said no as she was trying to convince us she couldn't hear us guess what my kid is crying about he is crying because he wants seven to be a part of the alphabet yo was i lying was i lying nah fam nah i told you i told you look at this kid look at he's my son my my pride and joy but look at him oh my god oh yeah we'll get him out we'll go let's quickly explain you got a phone i need to take a picture could someone please help me out yes ha ha laugh it up could you please help me out i'm stuck i don't even know how i got in here could you could you please what's up everybody it's your boy ayloris aka panda daddy and i hope you enjoyed today's video if you did let me know in the comments down below and leave a like if you like the video and if you're new to my channel go ahead and subscribe fam what you doing watching videos and not subscribing and if you're old make sure hit that bell so you get these notifications every time seriously make sure you hit that bell because a lot of people are having trouble getting my notifications and that's bad i want to make sure you guys get my content as soon as i upload it so you don't have to miss anything and as always thank the patreon supporters so thank you to destroyer emily r trey muffy lou who brody gilbert noah sertica trenton golden vermont ethan john robinson eva aerolina catherine taylor arjun pixyart5 hannah keith myers will billy dustin and hosmar thank you so much for your support it is greatly appreciated if you want to help support the channel there is two links in the description one to my merch store and one to my patreon both funds go directly into the channel so we can maintain what's happening here and as always stay zesty [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Ailurus

Views: 570,560

Keywords: kids, kids are stupid, stupid kids, r/, reddit, subreddit, best of reddit, top reddit, top reddit posts, top posts, top posts of all time, #1 reddit posts, Sorrow TV, Ailurus, Ailurus Reddit, reddit reading, Ailurus Vaxxhappend, Red panda, MLM, Sale, Sales, Antimlm, r/AntiMLM, make money at home, Anime cringe, bikes, planets, snapchat, be your own boss, online work, colab work

Id: dTjdgcgWbvs

Length: 17min 57sec (1077 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 19 2020