Ridiculous Safety TikToks

oh hey it's curtis oh he's shaving what the heck he shaved he shaved his mouth down the way he shaved is there is he serious true the rumors are true i shave my mustache i wanted to keep it but i was threatened by people magazine with violence because i was practically a shoo-in for the sexiest man alive 2021 and they they wanted to give it to blake shelton again just for my own safety i had to shave it off but it's all good it'll come back bushier bigger and stinkier the next time okay welcome back to my channel if you are new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it is really good to see you again i hope you're doing well okay folks i think it's safe to say that tick tock is pretty popular and i feel like if you were to ask a boomer about tick tock they'd probably be all like it's bad it's harming it's harming the young generation you know boomers how they're always doing this i wouldn't say that i'm the youngest man alive but no i'll admit it i used to think tick tock was all bad but it's good sometimes and some people might say it's shortening our attention span and making us dumber but dude i've learned so much from tiktok you got people like hank green known only for being a guest on the very really good podcast and nothing else he's on there talking about science teaching us cool facts we got doctors on there teaching us about medicine and health and you've got the freaking sway boys on there teaching us how to be savage af uh [Music] i got my knee cracked i'm not a sway boy i'm a sway man yeah move over dobrik brothers there's an oh wait no dobre don't break brothers move over dobrik brothers there's new grocery boys in town so there's a bunch of stuff to learn on tick tock but there's something that we're taught like really frequently when you're younger but not so much when we're adults and that is safety when you're a kid it was all about being safe safety was like the number one priority because they didn't want a dead kid on their hands it leaves a stain you don't want them on your hands you're always told to wear a helmet even though it was like lame to wear one for some reason shut up brain damage is lit but riddle me this if helmets were really good they'd be called heaven myths safety was always super important though my southern ontario viewers will know what i'm talking about but there is this place called safety village that we would go to every year like on a field trip in elementary school it was like this tiny fake village where you just you go and you learn how to be safe man you get to rip around in little cars there was a fake dead body trapped under the ice to teach you to not walk on a frozen lake that still scars me to this day mascot was a bunny i think it was [ __ ] awesome man but if i went there today like alone to learn how to be safe be weird as [ __ ] man especially if i had my mustache they think i was like an employee teaching kids to stay away from strangers so as an adult we need another way to you know learn how to be safe and that's where tick-tock comes in today we're going to be looking at a few tick-tock accounts that are all about teaching you how to be safe so without further ado put on your closest helmet i refer this one doesn't matter and uh let's watch some safety tick tocks the first account we're gonna be looking at is called lean bibles i learned how to do this in the lean bible wow so funny just kidding [ __ ] you so this account posts like these computer generated hypothetical dangerous situations and they teach you how to avoid them and how to stay safe within them like this one for example [Music] i have a few questions with the first one what so i'm assuming this woman was arrested for taunting these highway lions i mean i don't know why i mean the lion didn't even seem that bummed it was kind of just like huh but then the police decide that a fair punishment for taunting these lions is to launch her out of be moving vehicle into that same lion pit all cops are bozos dude that's a terrible punishment that's like arresting someone for robbing a bank and then to punish them you launch them into a big pile of money yeah that'll teach you a greedy crook enjoy all that free cash wow that was awesome shut up back there but hey i'd be lying if i said that wasn't a creative punishment [Laughter] okay how about we move on let's look at another one maybe this one will be a little more relatable [Music] jesus guys this is my favorite nicki minaj song bees in the trunk ease in the chunk first off let's get this out of the way how dare you post this and not put be careful you deserve to be launched out of a moving vehicle into a highway lion pit for that but what's the lesson here right what are they trying to what are they trying to teach us don't open your trunk or else bees will swarm you and then men will swarm you and spray you with fire extinguishers yeah that's the weirdest part like if these guys use fire extinguishers to get rid of bees what do they do to stop a fire [Music] these are going to be delicious oh my god uh you gotta come quick it's out of control over here okay okay hey buddy what's up oh my god what happened we we have to get out of here come on it's okay it's okay i called the authorities they should be here any moment why'd you put so much emphasis on the beast okay how about we don't get hung up on my grammar the house is covered in bees if you couldn't tell what somebody order a beekeeper where are those bees oh thank god the beekeeper's here right over here sir wait hold on i thought you called 9-1-1 oh for a few bees i don't want to waste their time there could be a house on fire somewhere the [ __ ] is wrong with you oh no oh [ __ ] can you call your beekeeper i can't lose him we're in love what you two are dating yeah we met on bumble oh boom i could have made a tinder joke at the end of that as well and it still would have made sense [Music] okay we still haven't learned anything about how to be safe so let's watch another one be careful man swallows 87 nails seven pushpins after fighting with girlfriend okay [Music] okay what are they arguing about that could possibly prompt him to do that right you never swallow 87 nails in seven push pins oh she's right also dude it is so funny to think that like this is his natural response to any argument that he gets into with his girlfriend like you'd assume he'd just go get a beer right he'd maybe go to a bar blow off some steam but no this guy just pulls up to a [ __ ] home depot and is just like hey barkeep the usual please trouble in paradise huh yeah you could say that again well here you go sir here's your usual 87 nails and seven push pins neat thank you my friend picked the wrong week to quit huh ow oh sorry interrupt sir i think the new girl has a question for you okay would you like another nail sir well sure yeah oh okay back to this video and all of their videos i guess it says be careful on the top and like be careful of what be careful of the guy who just swallowed 87 nails and seven pushpins yeah i know he's crazy or maybe they mean be careful when you eat 87 nails and seven pushpins but no if you're doing that you're not being careful you're not being careful to begin with like they put be careful on every single one of their videos but they never tell you how to prevent any of these things or even what to be careful of it's just be careful but you can be extra careful and terrible things can still happen ask my parents okay let's watch another this one surprisingly isn't caption me careful it's like the one that isn't it says man argument so let's see what happens [Music] [Applause] oh my god dude like i said you can learn so much from tiktok here's what we learned so far when you argue with your girlfriend you swallow 87 nails and seven pushpins when you man argument you spawn to crossbows and go to jail i think i'm finally starting to wrap my head around this whole safety thing so what are you in for man argument us too it's so funny to think every man argument ends that way imagine you go watch like a debate and then when whenever the moderator asks the question both of the guys are just like dude i just don't understand like who's making them who they're making them for why they're making them i'm just the whole all these videos confuse me so much like it looks like footage from either the worst movie of all time or the best video game of all time whoever's in charge props to them i love lean bibles you know but bibles have been pretty scrawny for the last couple thousand years so i'm finally some lean ones your bible even [ __ ] lift bro lift spirits maybe that's about it but surprisingly enough this isn't the only account that posts videos like this there is another one called health clinic and they actually don't put be careful on every single one of their videos which is nice but okay it is their profile picture so no matter what you're always reminded to be careful so let's take a look at those what the [ __ ] okay well this tick tock actually uh unlocked a brand new fear for me because usually when i'm in a public restroom i want to be in and out as fast as i can okay i speed run [ __ ] in public bathrooms so if there was something that was forcing me to be stuck in a public bathroom for even a second longer than i have to be i'm starting an argument with the first guy i see so he can shoot me with a crossbow just [ __ ] kill me you know also putting aside the fact that they got there so fast to remove her gluey ass from the toilet seat aside why did the home depot employees show up too right the [ __ ] they do in there is that one of the duties of a home depot employee hi i'm homer d poe welcome to your new job at home depot we're happy to have you on board yeah we like to joke around here a little bit now that you're part of the home depot family it's important that you learn our core values we like to boil it down to b sgvd s sell tools g give men 87 nails and seven push pins to ingest b be careful and last but not least d drop whatever you're doing to see a girl's ass get ripped from a toilet seat just remember home depot's core values and you'll fit in better than 87 nails and seven push pins fit into an angry man's stomach i still don't even know if we've learned anything about safety yet so bear with me let's keep going okay so we got okay jesus what okay what the [ __ ] doctor looks way too stoked to be putting a finger in a guy's ass maybe all doctors look like that when they do that i guess you never know what their faces look like because you're facing the other way you imagine getting a prostate exam and then you turn around and your doctor is just like spread those cheeks also the home depot employees what are they doing there anything that has to do with [ __ ] or poo the home depot employees are right there they're freaks um occupied someone's in here all right [Music] [Applause] okay [Music] yeah be careful so after watching a bunch of their tick tocks it turns out that they use that same home depot clip at the end of like every single one of their videos for some reason i'm sure they just reused it once afterwards and everyone [ __ ] lost their mind about it so they're like you know what [ __ ] it let's just keep doing that and it says in their bio that they're the creator of the home depot trend you know the trend right you know the home depot trend when the popular tick tockers will do their little dances and then they'll put in a cgi clip of home depot employees rushing into a bathroom stall okay you know what i'm getting fed up we haven't really learned anything yet how about we watch one more and uh see if we can finally learn some good safety tips [Music] oh my god what an evil way to smoke weed he just like screamed the smoke out of his mouth oh my god that is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life i think okay so the sorry the caption is be careful don't leave i think that means don't marijuana don't smoke weed i guess uh so let's see what happens when you smoke weed [Music] what the [ __ ] hey [ __ ] pardon man whoa okay that took a big turd turn took a big turn i don't think weed made him do this i think he's just unhinged i think he's [ __ ] crazy if someone goes [Music] i don't think someone would just be like yeah it's because of the weed oh [ __ ] this is why stoners are always asking for papers right like toilet paper they need to wipe the [ __ ] off their walls also what's wild about this video is that like someone smeared [ __ ] on a wall and that's not even the craziest part of the video to me screaming while you blow smoke out of your mouth that's gotta be the craziest thing that i've ever seen like if i saw someone do all of this i wouldn't even comment on the poop on the wall i'd just be like why'd you [ __ ] scream when you blew smoke out of your mouth man i could not get over how funny that is man imagine walking out of like an office building a bunch of people are having a smoke break and it's just everyone's screaming at each other all right well i don't see how i can get any weirder than that so how about we how about we end it there what did we learn obviously the big lesson we learned was be careful but more specifically be careful of home depot employees when you take a poo hey more like home depo am i right cut what the [ __ ] was that what i thought of a funny little joke i thought it'd improvise is that not okay okay well we don't pay you to improvise okay stay on script or you'll never work in hollywood again do you think we're in hollywood right now oh yeah also no i'm not going to stay on script okay home depot is funny sorry it is pretty funny see now that's a sound guy that's a great one man this guy's on a roll i don't encourage him sorry but you have to stay on script okay no i'm not going to say scripts okay i'm curtis this is my channel i can i can make jokes if i want i can improvise okay you do you're going to let me do that i'm not i'm not i'm not arguing with you anymore this is enough i've been driving for a couple years more like home depot all right well thanks for watching the video i hope you enjoyed it yeah press the like button if you enjoyed it uh also one like equals one nail that i will swallow and seven push pins let me know if you want a part two because there's a bunch more videos that i had to cut out for just time's sake so let me know if you want me to do another one because there's a bunch of these [ __ ] videos and they're insane but yeah press the subscribe button because as soon as you press the subscribe button you become a valued citizen of curtis town if you didn't know curtis town is the best place to live in the world and i'm the mayor so you have to be nice to me it's the law you can check the description for the other things i do my twitter instagram uh my weekly podcast called very really good i also got gaming channel curtis pogger i do twitch streams twice a week alright that's it i would stick around but i have to go unfortunately there's some highway lions that i have to taunt so peace you

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 1,444,176

Rating: 4.9857054 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtis connor, tiktok, kurtis conner tiktok, commentary, reaction, healthclinic, leenbibles, animation tiktok, cringe, weird tiktok, comedy

Id: EnruyTb_ij4

Length: 16min 53sec (1013 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 09 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/peachepanda]

Loved today’s vid

[u/adrienne-monk]

Such a good one!

[u/miniyellow]

Oh yay we didn’t have to wait another month for a video lol