Rich People, What Was It Like Marrying Poorer? (r/AskReddit)

rich people over in debt who married someone significantly poorer what surprised you about their previous wear of life making financial decisions based around the three paycheck month if you're paid every two weeks most months you get two paychecks and all of your monthly bills and budgeting is based on those two paychecks but twice a year there are three paydays and a month and that's when you can actually solve problems that's when you can get the car registered or fix the dryer or get the cat spayed the other ten months you're doing maintenance and trying to scrape by three paycheck months you can actually try to fix problems this I know this so well finally in a salaried position but on a tipped income those three paycheck months were a serious life saver more of a funny incident but I was the poor one my husband at the time still boyfriend took me out to a very nice restaurant waiter asked if I want pepper on my Caesar salad that was just made tableside I said sure and he goes about it thing is I didn't know you had to say stop my husband slowly realizes this but decides to see it play out he did eventually say that I need to say stop I just thought a Caesar was had this way as it was my first time even eating a salad that wasn't just iceberg and ranch dressing it still tasted fine just a little bit too much pepper haha man that's cute I was adopted at age seven I lived in extreme poverty and then all of a sudden I lived with a doctor who bought gifts for birthdays and Christmas I didn't know that was a thing I didn't know you could go to the store to get food I just thought you went to the church and had to pray before they give you a bag of food out of all the comments here this is the one that made me ball when the family had people over for dinner if they ended the prayer before the meal with F H B MN it was a signal to let the children know that they don't have enough food for everyone so take smaller servings and let the guests get a regular serving F H B equals family hold back they were always generous to their friends and didn't let her lack of funds embarrass themselves when doing so I grew up poor too but we never had any guests round for dinner FH B my heart honestly food insecurity when we were first married she would get visibly uneasy if the food in the house was running low or she never over ate or anything she was just always concerned about it a lot of times when she was younger she went hungry on the humorous side though she hates camping her answer is always the same I can't because it was fun she can't because they couldn't afford hotels she and her mother lived with her grandfather to not be homeless because her grandfather owned a house she was put in community college payments on her credit card and building debt with it I paid off her credit cards when we were dating and she cried from me being so nice it was only like 1,300 bucks I bought a condo then we got married then we bought a house I never really considered myself for it until I started dating her and learned that a trip to Wendy's was a treat I grew up middle class and we are currently middle-class help my wife was born and raised in the Soviet Union she still goes crazy for fresh fruit like it's the most extravagant luxury cold storage for fruits and vegetables is still a luxury in developing countries the prevailing mindset in his community growing up that insurance was something only rich people had not health insurance mind you well not just health insurance auto insurance going without it was a way of life for most everyone he knew my so has to constantly remind me that I can go to the doctor whenever I need to instead of just hoping I don't die I am on the other side as I married a girl from a rich family although we both earned the same and I tend to worry about money savings future through the years I have realized that she worries less about it and still saves more and spends less than me I feel like coming from a lower middle-class family makes me think about saving more but at the same time I spend money on things as I could not have them all before I got my own job I am so like this I think and plan and budget but when my paycheck comes it is so hard to not spend it all on going out to eat or other frivolous things because I could never have those small luxuries before sandwiches when I made him a sandwich I only put one thin slice of meat in it he couldn't believe that was how I had sandwiches growing up growing up we weren't allowed to just eat deli slices it had to go between two pieces of bread because that would fill you up faster and save on meat costs I am NOT well-off that my stepfather is I was raised by a single mom who spent money on everything and bills were always behind she just couldn't manage her money at all in her 50s she met and married a multimillionaire we are in middle America so that goes further than maybe in a lot of areas they have given themselves $10,000 a month budget to live on living on interest own their home anyway once my mom met him and they got all her finance situated and paid off she won't spend a penny he spends like it is going out of style he has actually begged me to take her shopping to get clothes and accessories she won't do it she spent more when she was a single mom with nothing it makes no sense to me at least buy a new outfit she is heck bent to not use a penny of his money they barely even have any groceries if they have anything it is because he buys it for them she is a retired nurse that gets a retirement and SS but she won't spend anything she lives poorer now than any other time in her life this sounds less like a financial issue and more like she's trying to preserve her pride she knows that people will think she's a gold digger if she spends his money so she's going to the opposite extreme and refusing to benefit from any of it edit maybe anxiety is a better way to describe it than pry I didn't marry this woman but when we started dating she always wanted to chill at my place never hers which was fine but she gained 35 pounds in just like a few months of dating she was 100 pounds when we started dating not that it was a bad thing one I am a chubby man in two I was just glad she wasn't pregnant anyway turns out her family couldn't like a for dinner sometimes so suddenly she had a place to eat every night and gorged herself I know two siblings who were starved by their father for years until CPS took them away and placed them with their biological mother from there they gained at least 100 pounds respectively and will not stop gorging themselves on food at first I didn't understand but now that I am older I know food scarcity is traumatizing I fell in love with my uni best friend who really didn't have any money when I got a job for my birthday I decided to plan a holiday and offer to bring him along he doesn't know I'm in love with him at all but maybe I should tell him edit ripping box thank you all for the love and support My partner and I are both poor the different kinds of poor she's never been homeless or not had enough to eat while I have she's extremely frugal and hates buying anything we don't need I feel a desperate need to stock up if we have any extra money and it's a fight for me not to fill our house with canned and dry goods in case we don't have enough money to buy food next month for some reason it makes no sense but my instinct is to hoard food because there just was never enough of it around growing up comma it makes no sense but my instinct is to hoard food because there just was never enough of it around growing up that makes perfect sense I'm from an upper-middle class American family and my husband is from a poor s-see Asian family it is hard for me to wrap my head around how poor they really were when he was growing up he told me about eating only rice with sugar for meals because they couldn't afford meat they were probably living off less than $0.50 day for a family of five at times I'm southeaster Sen as well rice soy sauce eggs and a little vegetables go a long way I'm not rich at all but my husband came from a very poor Mexican village he told me he used to shower outside because there was no in-house plumbing and used leaves as toilet paper I mean there's pour and there's my husband's previous life poor he's been living in the US for 12 years now but when we first met it was so interesting seeing life through his childlike eyes going to the cinema was a huge event for him heating food up in a microwave was a totally foreign concept and staying at fancy hotels when we went on vacation was like whoa I still see him surprised by things now and then and it just reminds me how much I take my middle status class for granted Hamburger Helper she hates it because it would be her meal 5x a week growing up I had never even seen H H before I went to college and love that stuff 10 for $10 deals are awesome my so said today I made rent meaning today I've earned enough accumulated enough to pay the rent and I realize that this is a monthly accomplishments to someone with no fixed income salary making rent is a huge relief the other horrible part of having unpredictable income is that when you try to get your financial crap together all the budgeting advice assumes that you get the same amount each week or at least close enough to work off an average it made me feel really hopeless when I was there one of my exes could pull in a lot of money easily twice or thrice what I could but he was so incredibly bad at saving this money down to say setting himself up as a company to avoid paying higher rate of tax bill then paying a large amount each month to an accounting company to handle his taxes which he'd do himself anyway because he didn't trust them to get it right he'd pay for taxes from one end of the city to another or hire cars rather than use public transport flights cancelled booked new ones never bothered acclaim back on insurance buy a sports car wreck it sell it for scrap he'd work contracts and then take time off to work on his own startup but spend every weekend just going out and buying drugs and booze I thought it was really while that first haha money really means nothing to you but when we became a long-term couple I started feeling like his mother man will you not just fill out the insurance paperwork not rich but with a partner who was raised by a teen teen mom and grew up poor sometimes I just want rice and vegetables for dinner that's a no from her she won't go back I was with a girl for a while who grew up in a pretty broken home still surprises me just how bad her spending habits are she racks up credit card debt like it's nothing she lived in the desert without air-conditioning damn that reminds me when we were kids my dad got an AC for free from one of his jobs but we were almost never allowed to use it because of the electric bill probably only got to use it if it was like 100 degrees out long-term dating pets I was always surprised by the number of pets she and her family had living in the trailer and how much or the share of their income they spent on them credit cards were avoided for me growing up we were encouraged to get a credit card in our name and use it as much as possible in order to build credit there was always money to pay it off each month so it made sense to one build credit and to collect airline miles or whatever the reward was back in the day when we got together she always used cash or a debit card she had a credit card for emergencies and avoided using it otherwise it took a long time to get her over her aversion skepticism we were fortunate to have two good-paying jobs though it also taught me a healthy appreciation for what it means to have a financial cushion the logic of buying things on credits that you could buy with cash in order to build a credit score is pretty weird when you think about it you're basically taking out a loan that you don't need to show you're responsible with money I dated a one-percenter briefly she was surprised I willingly went inside fast-food restaurants not super-rich by any means but my husband said he'll always be surprised about the following how I lived off of 13 K in 2011 resiliency to survive financially and pursue my dreams of being he first college graduates how I didn't know what spinach was or tasted like until our first few dates in addition to Helen of the leafy greens first real date in my 20s we went to a steak house when the waiter asked me how I wanted my steak I said cooked lol yikes didn't know there was any other way then how my dad cooked steaks cheap flat steaks topped with ketchup ranch dressing my experiences from the opposite perspective I was the poor one it absolutely floored me how my wife flex when something broke like a car appliances clothes etc as a child living below the poverty line replacing a tire or other necessities was a disaster requiring tricky trade-offs in the budget or just plain acceptance of just how boned you were when my wife's phone broke I went into full panic mode while she shrugged and said we can just a new one this afternoon and then we did he was making good money but came from a poor family one thing that surprised me was the lack of budgeting no knowledge of a 401 K Roth IRA retirement seemed like something that he'd never get to do so even though he made good money he was starting to rack up credit-card debt now he's much better at it than I am he adores budgeting and looks forward to fire I'm from the poorer family not super poor but my in-laws have a stupid amount of money so by comparison I'm very poor but I think I can answer for her we have two young kids and my wife was shocked when I said we should look for clothes and toys for them at local flea markets and garage sales the idea never occurred to her that we could save money by getting some gently used items she had never even been to a garage sale in her life she has grown to love them and now questions whether it is worth it to buy any item new or not before running to Amazon or a store her parents think it's disgusting we make our kids wear clothes that another child had the but they don't pay my bills kids outgrew clothes so fast most of those used clothes are basically new wife and I are not poor not rich by any means either we definitely hit up the local mom coops where moms sell they use baby kids stuff find a bunch of good stuff in there to the point where we feel stupid for buying new because it's so much more expensive anyways it's not even close to being disgusting I came from a relatively wealthy family new-money my dad started his own business and grew up poor and my wife came from a lower-income blue-collar family but we got married out of college and neither made much money in the beginning my biggest surprise was how she wanted to spend money she was shocked when my mom bought her $100 plus pair of jeans for a birthday she couldn't wrap her mind around spending that much on jeans but she wanted a motorcycle for me which I don't ride in the first place and then a new furniture set and then a new bed and then a new car she wasn't concerned about savings or retirement and she never wanted my parents money for any of it we are both way too proud of that it took a long time for her to come around to having an emergency savings account focusing on debt and not needing the other crap she eventually realized that her parents wouldn't be in such a terrible situation because their spending habits are horrible she still has it come out sometimes though we recently paid off my car and she immediately thought I should get a new car I grew up with a poor family I was told credit cards were evil and to never get one by my parents they had this outlook because they were never taught how to properly use them either when I finally did have to establish credit and got my first one I didn't overthink it and just followed the rules and paid it off every month then they allowed me more and more credit more and more cards an emotionally abusive ex would use my cards for everyday living promising to pay them off with me and soon the interest started to snowball and before I knew it I couldn't get out from under it he gusted me after four years of living together I was on my own for about a year I'd get home from work every day and just sob I was depressed as heck I met current my boyfriend in the midst of all of this I noticed him always using credit cards and talking about perks and points he seemed so responsible in the way he used them it took me a bit of open up to him about my debt because I was so embarrassed and it got to the point I felt like there was a weight on my chest 24 stroked 7 the late calls only paying the minimum on each card every month barely touching the interest when I finally opened up to him he sat down with me and said we are a team we'll figure this out together he helped me go over all of my interest in cards and see what the best option for me was he offered to pay it all off with his work bonus that year and I pay him back but we hadn't been together long and I didn't love him for his money I didn't even feel comfortable with him paying for dinner often I knew I had to get out of this myself one day when I saw him he gave me an envelope and told me not to open it till I got home he gifted me 1,000 I did not want to accept it and felt horrible doing so he told me he hopes it had helped the burden and do with it whatever I wanted or even something to treat myself since I couldn't do that for so long I asked him if he minded if I used it to pay for a lawyer to file bankruptcy he said he'd support me in doing so I did end up filing it was scary but I've never made a better decision in my life felt like 1,000 pounds were lifted off my chest it doesn't directly relate to the amount of money they had I don't think but their place was always filthy I mean dog crap everywhere my soul lived with his mom sometimes it would rotate between her and his father and both places were this way dishes piled up floors of a grimy the place s stank of dog pee and cigarette smoke one time I used the bathroom at one of his parents places and had to spread my feet while sitting on the toilets to avoid stepping in period blood I mean it was so disgusting my sir was baffled when after we first got married and moved in with each other every day he would come home to her generally I'm not perfect spotless home now on the flip side I once dated a guy whose stepfather was a lawyer so they lived a lavish lifestyle the only thing that he was surprised about when it came to my lifestyle was that I did not eat pizza with knife fork and a glass of wine lol common now on the flip side I once dated a guy whose stepfather was a lawyer so they lived a lavish lifestyle the only thing that he was surprised about when it came to my lifestyle was that I did not eat pizza with knife Fork and a glass of wine lol this sounds like a poor person simulation of a fancy night out lol my wife genuinely thought and her family still does that there is a direct relationship between someone's net worth in the labels they purchase if someone doesn't have a Gucci bag or a Rolex watch why it's because they can't afford it my wife was astonished when I first told her that people exist that are ultra wealthy and yet driver old cars and wear clothes without labels about to marry him we met in college and my parents paid for everything while he had student loans and a part-time job to pay for everything else if he was really hurting his parents would transfer $40 into his account but that was pretty rare and they'd give him heck if he asked he was always very anxious about spending money and never bought name brands he would also buy essentials like toilet paper by two rolls at a time one play only he didn't really realize that buying so little every few days was wasting money rather than buying in bulk when we booked our first vacation cheap road trip to Georgia he couldn't pay for anything and was worried the whole time the anxiety that would keep him up at night made me so sad he still never fills up his gas tank all the way only ten dollars at a time drives me nuts but now we both have great full time jobs and he rarely has any anxiety he never has to worry about money anymore and is so much happier as a result my family is far from rich but I grew up closer to the upper-middle-class realm and was making 3x as much as my now husband when we met he grew up extremely poor and his family is still living that way one big difference is how he's surprised that my parents pick up the check when we go out to celebrate a birthday or a graduation and that my parents asked him to pick whatever restaurant he wants outside of the ritziest steak house in town they don't care to his family a big meal out is going to McDonald's and not eating off the dollar menu I'm serious I remember a little over a year ago when my mom came into a bit of money from a disability case soon afterward we went out to eat at a restaurant and she told me it was the first time in her life she ever ordered at a restaurant without looking at the prices first my wife earned many times more than I did when I was a high school teacher back when we were dating she sometimes would drive my ten years old primer black stick-shift Honda Civic that my cousin lent me until I could buy another car she was blown away how aggressively mean people are to you when you drive an ugly old car when she got out of the car the spell lifted I got a lot of respect from her for that she seemed to think I was us and for not turning sour over it I was constantly getting pulled over by cops and let go targeted by road rage and also pedestrians felt too comfortable engaging with me I Drive a new Honda one year old now and it is so different I Drive the same but probably drive a bit more aggressively now that I can't hear the wind roaring by when I'm going over 40 miles per hour I haven't been pulled over and haven't had a negative interaction on the road in a long time also my wife now enjoys trading cars with me fine from the poor family for my first car purchase I went to a dealership and picked out a Honda Civic and they proceeded to slap on something like a 10% finance rate on that sucker I saw nothing wrong with it I was young I had no idea the typical finance rates and I had brought my parents with me surely they would have raised a red flag if it had been a bad deal no I quickly realized later they had absolutely no finance to literacy one of the reasons we were poor but certainly not the only one also I could afford the monthly payments and that's what really matters right I was about a year into it before I did some research wised up and paid that thing off ASAP drove it for nearly ten years ended up being a great car but I can absolutely understand why people end up in these terrible underwater loans with rates that's make your head spin that was me and I consider myself a smart person but financial literacy is a whole separate thing from being smart a lot of people have this idea that if you're rich you're automatically smart and if you make poor financial decisions you're dumb well both my husband and I make six figures now and I like pulling out this little nugget of info when people start cracking on people making bad decisions and they deserve to be miserable et Cie I was like that was me once ironically once I started making money I had the ability to take the time to do research and make better decisions because things weren't done at the last second emergency lol sounds like me and my o.9 Mustang I got slapped with 17% interest because I didn't do research beforehand looking back on it now even though I love the car I would not have gotten it this is a story my mom related to me I wouldn't quite say that my dad is rich he's a doctor then compared to the family she grew up with he is very wealthy as a kid my mom's idea of extravagance was buying gum at the movie theater she had to pay her father back for this and he counted every penny when she started dating my dad he would take her to the convenience store for a coke those styrofoam cups off so do you fill up from the fountain after they married they continued to do this every week she was shocked to her the idea of getting a soda was a rare treat for dad it was nothing not even pocket change to this day 30 years later mom gets a soda every week sometimes it's hard to see their love for each other but these little rituals tell the story of their relationship she wouldn't waste any food ever we went through a few rounds of her getting sick from eating month-old muffins and similar before I convinced her it was okay to toss old food and go shopping I'm not a rich one and we're also not married but I was blown away that my boyfriend believed public colleges are all tuition free I literally had to show him the financial aid pages for a couple of schools to prove that public universities cost money I just can't imagine like not even having to think about paying for college when we moved in together I found out that she was putting her share of the rent on her credit card with no real plan for how to pay it off that made my wallet hurt this is super embarrassing and will probably make you all hate me if it even gets any attention but I come from a family just a bit higher than the top 1% I was walking out of my ex's garage and I saw a lawn mower I asked her why they owned their own lawn mower if they weren't in the landscaping business that was the day I learned most people don't hire other people to mow their lawn number we don't hate you you are a product of your environment it's a silly question for us poor folk but if I had only ever saw someone else mowing lawns I would probably also have the same question , no worries dude he grew up in a very poor and seriously dirty house like trash everywhere dog poop scattered around even in the laundry piles I asked him to do the dishes one day and he said why they're just going to get dirty again at his house they kept all the dishes dirty in the sink instead of clean in the cupboards and just wash one when they need it his mom was a single mom to three kids and was in full-time school and full-time work and none of the kids helped with any other chores in the mom never forced anyone to clean so they never got done now they are all desensitized to dirty and varan ones which is really depressing their house is a nightmare so sad we are no longer together because of a lot of issues relating to the kind of environment he was raised in and expected to raise our baby in I am actually on the other end of this I grew up in a trailer park with my single mom and eventually met my ex who grew up in the upper crust of society it was super obvious how differently we grew up because of it egg I would tend to use things until they literally fell apart I was wearing my last pair of shoes until the soles fell out from under them and I was walking on my socks she would just throw things on the floor because the maid would take care of it she just didn't give a crap about cleaning up after herself or about what things cost for what she got out of it I've always been frugal to a fault because I never grew up with enough to afford to pee away she basically got what she wanted when she wanted never had to worry about whether or not she could afford something when you have no reason to care you don't she had no concept of what it was like outside the financial bubble she lived in it was like she was viewing the rest of society through binoculars I've been on the other side of it when I decided to go back to school we had this long but argument that just showed me that this man had no idea what it was like to not have money but he wanted me to live in an RV to save money first of all I'd have to buy the thing he said I could get a cheap one and fix it up completely not seeing that be and then fix it up part would cost as much as getting a good quality use one he didn't believe me when I told him it would cost more to park the RV anywhere near the school than to just rent a room I finally made him call around to RV parks the cheapest RV parked within 15 miles from campus was over $1200 a month I pay six hundred and twenty dollars for the room I rented remember his goal was for me to save money so it had to be all-inclusive under six hundred and twenty dollars a month for two years we then argued about to me parking it on the side of the road and I was trying to explain to him that the bathroom needed to be cleaned and that if I was going to be cooking every meal and there again trying to save money I needed electricity so then he thinks I should put solar panels on it like that's free it isn't just the RV it was his complete lack of understanding of small incremental expenses adding up my rented room the one he thought was a waste of money was less than $15,000 over the course of the two years I needed it to finish school and gave me access to a bathroom and a kitchen within three miles of campus somehow he thought an RV was going to save money over that please read the Edit at the end of this post probably how often she shopped at Ross Grocery Outlet and other discount stores I shopped at Whole Foods and bought my clothes at Macy's or online for grocery shopping we now go to grocery outlet mostly with a trip to Whole Foods every once in a while it's significantly cheaper at grocery outlet but checking expiration dates is a must aside from my hobbies I find I spend a lot less on groceries and clothes now which in turn allows me to spend more on my hobbies she never forced her lifestyle on me and I appreciated that if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye 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Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 39,664

Rating: 4.8698483 out of 5

Keywords: rich vs poor social experiment, rich vs poor, rich vs poor mindset, rich vs poor people, rich vs poor kids, marriage, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: EAwEO9opE3E

Length: 31min 36sec (1896 seconds)

Published: Sun May 31 2020