You Don't Want to Frick With Me | People Stories #378

reddit what is your best baddest don't frick with me moment this wasn't me because i am not nearly badass enough to do anything like this my friend's dad is a truck driver and he used to pick up hitchhikers all the time one time he picked up two of them and they started on the journey to wherever they were going after an hour one decides he's going to try and jack the truck and pulls out a knife well my friend's dad being super badass flaws it and says you're going to put that knife away or i'm going to kill us all and steers directly towards the concrete dividers that were splitting the highway up ahead there would be truck jackers put away the knife and sit quietly for the rest of the ride and he still drops them off at their destination bad butt mother sucker right there i was living with a middle-aged woman since i am middle-aged as well this was a fairly decent arrangement her daughter was living with us as well 17 years old and heck on wheels from what i understand one of her former boyfriends became upset with her because she had a new boyfriend he was going to come to my home and beat the crap out of her under my roof he said that if i got in his way he was going to beat my butt as well a friend of hers caught wind of what was happening and called her mother she called me the boy showed up with an audience i greeted them just by poking my head out of the door and telling them to get the frick off of my property butthole gets out of the vehicle i open the door and he can see that i'm packing a 0.45 in a shoulder rig i also have an 870 by the door i hear a following high brew rabbit from his friend that came along to witness him beating my butt i repeat my demand that the man remove himself from my property and he complied it could have been the gun then again it could have been the shovel leaning against my truck and the fact that no one would come looking for him if he disappeared that far from town gun ownership you're doing it right well played sir someone threatened to sneak into my house and kill me in my sleep in one swift motion i picked up a beer bottle and slammed it down shattering half of it pointed it at him and said i guess i'll just have to kill you now then i was pretty drunk and have no idea where that came from come on those you would do something so much more badass i work as an emt and one time we had a bloodbath of a call old lady had dang near scalped herself in a fall and it was quite messy trying to keep her calm to keep the bandage on here freely flowing head after the call i was covered from the front down in my uniform and took off the top layer to reveal my undershirt which was also covered in blood too late in the day and not caring i hopping in the back of the rig and headed to base to change my apartment was a mile from the base so i headed there instead as we pull up i hear voices yelling and hop out in my now blood-drenched clothes i turn around the corner and see three guys harassing grabbing and pulling one of my neighbors an elderly woman who doesn't speak much english if so i quickly take stock of the situation and grab a tyran from the side of the rig which was slightly out of view i take a few steps and yeah leave her alone or you're going to pay while my partner calls for pd backup they turn around just as some of the outside lights come on and reveal me a 5 minutes and 10 second skinny guy covered in blood with tactical pants on with a tire iron their faces were priceless suddenly one of them books and the other says to the last guy their frick i'm not dealing with that dude and follows his friend i help the lady and then realized what a scary sight i was some dude covered in blood with a tyre iron coming out from around the corner into the light and angry he ended up being fine and i changed rather quickly after that police came and got what little info they could and we were all on our way but god damn i felt like a superhero tldr covered in blood i scared off three thugs who wanted to beat an old russian lady with a tyre iron and good lighting so my girlfriend and i lived in a house that wasn't in the most amazing of neighborhoods and one night our backyard got broken into stole some pretty trivial stuff why in the frick would you steal barbecue tongs did that pee me off because i like my crap to stay my crap and dislike it when people try to make my crap into their crap so since i had moved a bunch and had previously sold my firearms i went out and bought myself a 12-gauge security pump with some bird and buckshot skip ahead a few nights when i was up late getting some water in my kitchen and i hear a thump against my fence and lots of scrabbling i thought it was a cat or something but i listened a little longer and thought i heard a voice i went and grabbed ye or the pump action and quietly opened my back door to stand underneath the security light and listened a little longer i heard the thump against someone trying to jump the fence and then heard someone swear loudly as they slipped on the top when they tried to come over all the way i reached up and waved at the security light to turn it on then racked around into the shotgun the scrabbling stopped you have until your foot hits my grass to leave peaceably any further and i start pulping limbs with birdshot silence sudden loud noise of someone jumping off the fence feet slapping against concrete as whoever it was ran away going oh frick oh frick oh frick afterwards i had a glass of whiskey and pet my shotgun for a bit before going to bed comma because i like my crap to stay my crap and dislike it when people try to make my crap into their crap shakespeare couldn't have said it better himself long story short passport got stolen only way back home was trained from oakland california back to canada so i was sitting at the train station for like two hours and decided to go for a walk around that part of oakland across from where the raiders and days play being not even from canada i had no idea what this meant it took me less than 10 minutes to realize i made a horrible decision a car started driving around the block i was walking down i had a suitcase and a backpack and a large bag it was a long trip after the third time being circled around i decided to walk back and quickly that worked well till i had to cross the parking lot where this car pulled in as well now being from canada all of a sudden the thought of all those scary stories of gang shootings and muggings from the american news got me scared i try not to profile people but the three guys who got out of the car are what we see as the typical gangster pants to ankles gold chains gold teeth driving an old cadillac the driver steps in front of my walking path cause i've been trying to avoid eye contact he stops me and goes yo man you not from here and laughs what you got in there hey i should check it out his two friends are leaning over the car and one pulls a bat out of the car and places it on the roof this is where my instincts kick in and i lose control of any real thinking so i start yelling in the most aggressive way possible i got my freaking crap that's what i got i'm from sorry freaking bc and if you think pulling a bat out means you freaking scare me you think twice you better have something more than that to get at me i step over see kids on my way to work every morning and i stabbed a guy for pushing me in a bus line so if you want to start something freaking start it now obviously i've never stabbed anyone and i am from surrey and i do step oversea kids on the way to work but i don't know where any of this came from by all physical appearances i'm a bit of a dork and i'm gay so i have no idea where any of this came from but my heart was racing and this is what came out so i stood there for a few seconds breathing heavy fists clenched posed in some stupid looking come at me bro pose like i was ready to battle a lion the guy looks at his other friends and then goes my bad man then gets back in the car and they leave about a minutes after they left i actually had to sit down my legs would not work i was so scared so that's how i almost died you bad mother guys must love those massive balls of steel you lug around with you mine is copper pasta from another thread i posted in and it was moreover don't frick with me because my brother is batch at crazy moment i have an older gay brother it was pretty well known he was gay in high school but nobody ever flat out asked me about it one day two guys from the football team both juniors are giving me a hard time suddenly brother walks over and says hey leave him alone this isn't a request one guy replies shut up f what are you going to do my brother's answer still sticks with me to this day see you should think about that i've been ref as long as i can remember which means i got into fights every day so i know i can fight how about you can you actually fight or do you just try to scare people because you don't scare me i've freaked guys bigger than you again leave my brother alone frick uf you're not my type i like men at this point a little crowd had gathered and they began to laugh at my brother's last comment the two guys scowled huffed and walked away my brother looked at me smiled and said sorry if that was awkward i've freaked guys bigger than you badassery two guys at a bar one sitting next to me and the other across started freaking with me for no apparent reason they were clearly s faced the fact that i ordered the crappy bar pizza as a testament to the fact that i was nearing that point too at the point the waitress comes by and drops my pizza off the guy across from me is basically challenging me to walk outside at that moment the sad excuse of a douche next to me makes a grab at my pizza through some amazing drunken look i see this out of the corner of my eye launch my arm out and backslap the crap out of this guy's arm they must have thought i knew martial arts because they didn't say a word after this and got up to leave tl dr don't freak with my pizza i used to get in fights a lot but i think the best one was at a bar with my buddy watching a baseball game my buddy loves the red socks and doesn't drink and i think baseball is stupid but love drinking so we reached a kind of compromise anyway while my friend scott is chatting up this girl next to him about the socks or whatever these two guys next to us in yankees jazzes are becoming more and more belligerent yelling throwing crap at the tv and just generally being buttholes now i know enough about baseball to know boston and new york hate each other heck i'm originally from philadelphia we hate everyone but i didn't think these two were gonna be much trouble aside from being loud then for whatever reason one of the big new yorker guys decides to dump a full beer on this red sox chick my friend was talking to at this point my entirely sober friend said something along the lines of hey dude what the frick the guy turned to my buddy real drunkenly for a moment and then leaned way back and made that hocking a lidgy sound and right as he leaned into spit i swung at him forgetting i still had a full be a mug in my hand according to my friend and his lady friend the spit totally came all the way out of his mouth hit the mug and then went back into his face when the mug hit him it was wicked awesome now mind you i'm completely hammered but as far as the new york bros were concerned i came out of freaking nowhere like an inebriated batman because at the time i was sitting at a table behind the whole group wingmaning is a subtle art so as this dude hits the floor bloody and sputtering his other new york bro looks at me mouth a gape takes two steps back and then i got jumped by the bouncers and was dragged out of the bar yelling frick new york the entire way because i was too drunk to think of a good badass line good form frick new york not quite as badass as most of these stories but i've got a good one just to provide a bit of context i'm a super skinny wimpy white male and i'm a really nice guy who you'd never expect to lash out at someone back in high school there was this kid who liked to mooch off everybody else's lunch just because he never bought packed his own you know the whole i'm really poor so you should definitely give me all your food i need it more than your routine he wasn't really he just liked to take our food because he could every now and again i'd give him half a sandwich or something both like i said i enjoy being a nice person but one day i just snapped he grabbed my whole lunch bag from right in front of me without even asking for anything and before i even started to eat my own food in an instant i dove across the lunch table grabbed him by his shirt pulled him completely over to my side and growl give me my freaking lunch back butthole in his face i got it back it was delicious i'd call this a badass moment of mine because i never ever act out like that i'm usually pretty submissive and soft about things but goddamn it i was excited for my little debbies and ham sandwich and i wasn't gonna let some prick take them from me all my friends were totally shocked too they had no idea i was even capable of sticking up for myself like that guess that's one way to keep people from messing with you among many of my security jobs i have worked loss prevention for two major retailers for those wondering loss prevention is essentially catching sharp lifters eventually you just kinda know who to watch and who not to one day my partner a female and i started watching this guy early twenties overly muscled and spray tanned with a guido jersey shore hair cut and a muscle shirt he is of course looking at other muscle shirts in the store we see him select five shirts and go into the fitting room long story short we know that he steals eight of these shirts eventually and me and my co-workers are with him acting as an arguing acting couple the whole time he eventually goes to leave the store which is when we can stop him so we get in front of him at the doors identify ourselves and ask him to come with us now i normally slouch a lot but i am six feet four so the kid gets in my face saying he didn't do anything and if i don't move he's gonna kick my butt so all i did was stare at him and say make a decision about what you're going to do and we will go from there totally calm with a straight face he kinda blinked and got a weird look in his eye and asked me what so i repeated myself i said make a decision about what you're going to do we will go from there he kind of sat there for a few seconds and leaned back a bit and started harassing my female co-worker instead at that point i snapped my fingers and told him to pay attention to me after that we placed him in handcuffs and led him to the office for processing since then i have used that line multiple times at other lp security jobs and even at bars the only time anyone has ever done anything after that was a patient from a mental hospital i worked at who was schizophrenic and at that point it didn't matter what i said i was out in downtown houston skating around with some friends when i told them i had to stop and pee so i walked into a narrow alley and just started peeing i didn't see these two girls just smoking cigarettes staring at my dong so i looked at them and smiled right as i finished up a couple of goucher bags come up and just straight start harassing them typical wanna frick you got a pretty mouth dumb shoots so i start to walk over to break that crap up when a guy looks up at me and says what the frick you think you're gonna do be so i just started talking in a low voice in german just repeating lyrics from ramstein making it sound like a threatening sentence instead of a song then they freaked out because i am a tall fairly muscular mother they left and girls said thanks and asked me what i said and i told them i don't know and left if there's a language that makes you sound angry and about to hulk it's german i was with some friends we were all drunk we walked out of a bad breezy spoon at 3am and ran into some guys walking into the restaurant also drunk i was the last in my group and i accidentally rubbed shoulders with the first guy in that group immediately he starts talking crap but i just ignore him and keep walking to the parking lot i'm about halfway to my car when he says something that particularly offends me because it was targeted at one of the girls with us i turn around and seconds later we are in the middle of a blank spot in the parking lot with our friends off to the sides i to buy he finally realizes that i'm a pretty big guy we have a tent silence for a few seconds then under my breath i quietly say you're going to say freak this guy he ain't worth it you're going to turn around walk away and rejoin your friends and you're going to do that because if you don't you won't need to eat because i'm going to feed you your freaking shoes about five seconds pass before he said frick this guy he ain't worth it and rejoined his friends i you were dang not an interesting story but what the heck i was riding the bus one night with a few female friends we were coming back from a party and they were both s-faced some drunk meat head guido pre jersey shore start saying things to them and making grabs for their fun bits i'm starting to get a little livid and tell the guy to frick off he gets up in my face because i just called him out in front of his buddies a little chess bumping and some shoving ensues the bus stops and we both step off to continue our discussion he was around five feet nine five minutes and 11 seconds and close to 190 200 pounds i'm six feet two inches around 210 pounds it was obvious that he worked out and it was painfully obvious that i didn't so he starts mouthing off again his friends are egging him on to hit me i'm relatively calm just telling him i don't want trouble yadda yadda yadda he moves in to shove me one more time and i grabbed his throat i had worked on my uncle's farm since i was 10 years old and after a decade of stacking tens of thousands of 50 pounds hay bales clearing the played fields of thousands of rock small boulders swinging a 25 pound post hammer making fences splitting thousands of gods of wood and thousands of hours of just hard labor i had managed to develop quite the grip the second i grabbed his throat his eyes got as big as baseballs he tried to pry my hands off but i just squeezed harder i walked him backwards to the wall and said listen i don't want to have to rip your throat out but i will if you insist on continuing to harass my friends are we clear by this time his face is starting to turn purple and his buddies are speechless he slightly nods and i release my grip i turn to my friends they have the biggest crap eating grins on their face we walked back to my room and played mario party the rest of the night played mario party the rest of the night that's good that's good and odds as good as a wink to a blind bat probably more of a [ __ ] thing than a badass thing but oh well i used to work at starbucks in the city where a lot of trust fund kids like to hang out and act homeless there was always a group of them who stood out front of the store that was next to starbucks yelling at people and usually playing hacky sack with each other but they made it a habit of yelling at anyone who walked through their game threatening them bunch of balls i was going into my shift one day and was in a rotten mood there they were playing that game in the middle of the sidewalk blocking everyone i walked right through them interrupted the game and they started to call me out i kept walking until i felt the hacky sack hit me in the back i picked it up and threw it on the roof of starbucks and walked into work when i was younger i kissed the first ever girl i went out with and around two minutes after that i proceeded to kick this guy who was a total butthole to this girl right in his nose breaking it never have i heard so many screams of rejoice because i did something cool for once in my life i work at a bar as a bouncer i don't look like the biggest guy but i do strength training regularly i deal with at dollar sign dollar sign holes on a nightly basis one particular caused my eye when he was literally screaming at his gf inside my bar i walked up to him and let him know that if he did that again he would be picking garbage from his teeth him being drunk didn't listen as i'm clearing out the bar at barclays i see him again across the bar near the front door near the trashcan filled with random bar crap and bottles he yells at her again reaches back and slaps her she goes to the floor i crushed a path through the patrons and he didn't see me coming one punch koed him and he landed headfirst in the trash can i then proceeded to put the rest of him in it and picked his gf up off the floor and contacted the police they laughed upon arriving at him still being in the trash can i really like the fact that you fulfilled your promise to that guy my favorite badass moment happened in fifth grade i was a tiny toe head blonde girl who got picked on a lot even though i was at a private school the kids got really violent lots of pent up privilege rage anyway one day in music class a kid about 40 pounds heavier and a foot and a half taller than me kicks me in the back and i fall on my face the teacher does nothing i came home with a bruise from my tailbone to my scapula naturally my mom wasn't pleased after she met with the school and they still took no disciplinary action she gave me permission to exercise any defensive action i saw fit if he ever touched me again fast forward about a week and i'm on the top of the play structure at recess the kid comes up to me and starts trash talking to get me to leave i try to ignore him and refuse to move then he decides to start laughing about how i need someone else to fight for me now i'm starting to get pee but i keep my cool then he decides it's a good idea to bring up my mother and pushes me now this kid wanted to be a marine i think i crushed that dream literally i grab him by his shirt collar and run him to the edge of the structure slam him into the metal pole on one side and throw him head first over the edge he broke his collarbone best part he got suspended for five days i got nothing no kid ever fricked with me again you could have killed him and for that sir i applaud i was with a bunch of guy friends at a bar drinking for some reason this girl was not happy with me i wouldn't even be able to tell you why i'm sure it's because i was female too and you shouldn't step to someone's gender like that anyway i'm pretty non-confrontational but about 45 minutes of her yelling at me every time she sees me walk around a corner i start getting fed up i was a little tipsy mind you but that she approached me as i was standing in front of a big hallway mirror with multiple friends around she walked up to me put her face close to mine and said don't turn around there'll be a bee staring back at you i looked blankly at her for a second and then all of a sudden wham i felt my arm hook around and my clenched fist hit her right in the side of the head and she fell down everyone just stood in silence for a minute until she started screaming at which point i was calmly sipping from the drink that was still in my left hand she ran away hysterical calling the bouncer over and screaming that her the bouncer looked at me noticed i was not tripping over myself and didn't have tears streaming down my face like she was turned to her and said get out now the whole bar had stopped to watch at this point and as she was walking out i got an entire bar full of applause it was awesome comma because i was female too i was in the marines and i was stationed in japan for two years all within a two-month period about at my first year mark i got in trouble for underage drinking got reduced in rank was on military restriction during my birthday my girlfriend broke up with me my dog died my stepdad sold my motorcycle and my mom crashed my car i felt like i had nothing i was in an interesting state of depression in which my mood was as the title says a don't frick with me mood i was at the on-base bar of age now and was just simply drinking my sorrows away i see this female being harassed by some drunk but male marines and she actually looked like she needed help it was three huge marines that looked like they would pummel anybody i had the drunken thing going through my mind of i got nothing else to lose other than my life at this point might as well go save this woman so i walk over and tell the guys to get away from the girl they look at me and laugh i look down with a smirk of time to look like i'm a psychopath i then say in a very creepy jarring mental patient type of voice i got some mental issues with you my friend and i have nothing more to lose you might call me suicidal but i will beat your butt so hard the only way to stop me is going to kill me so you might want to just get the heck away i don't know how i did it but i literally freaked out three 230 pounds of muscle marines and i was only 170 i then turn to the bartender and tell them to give me another drink so i can calm down the bartender hands me another jack and coke as the girl thanks me i slam the drink like it could be a shot with what i am guessing was a badass psychopathic looking face and walked out of the bar i then noticed that everyone in the bar was watching me leave in silence they all knew not to frick with me i was on my last inch of sanity fast forward five years i am doing fine now no more mental issues thanks for reading that second sentence is a country song waiting to happen if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video bye for now

Channel: Updoot Studios

Views: 45,884

Rating: 4.9502559 out of 5

Keywords: don't mess with me, dont mess with me, dont mess with my family, biggest mistake, mistake, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub, reddit stories 2021

Id: zPULT-tFlIw

Length: 27min 16sec (1636 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 12 2021