Ready Player One Review - YMS

ready player one was kind of fucking dumb I mean I had fun overall I guess and I was never bored despite the runtime but it's dumb it is so incredibly dumb everything about the film's plot just falls apart the second you start thinking about it so I'm gonna spoil the whole movie and talk about how nothing makes any sense here we go basically as soon as the movie starts there's things happening that are just kind of stupid the main character is narrating to us through a voiceover and shoving exposition down our throat to explain that everybody has a virtual reality headset in the Year 2044 and everybody hangs out in this cool game called the Oasis and Spielberg thought hmmm how am I gonna show that everybody in this trailer park is wearing a virtual reality headset oh I know let's just have them doing it in front of gigantic windows that take up half their trailer one of these shots featured a large woman groping herself on a stripper pole you're not gonna close the curtains so then we see inside the virtual world and we're told that there are limitless possibilities as to what a person can be they try to explain that some people have omnidirectional platforms underneath their feet but that doesn't explain how people are jumping on shit not once did any of the characters have to readjust their position in the virtual world because it was conflicting with the real world their shots in the movie that show crowds of people running around in the real world outside with their virtual reality goggles you'd think at least one character in the movie would be like hold on I can't go any further because there's a real building in my way I'm going to have to readjust and face the other way while compensating for my direction are these people not at risk for running into each other during the opening montage they try to explain that some people are incredibly invested in the game they show an Asian businessman at a desk right beside dozens of other people that are just quietly working and then I guess something really bad happens to him in the game so he rips off his headset and starts running toward the window because he wants to kill himself but how was he playing the game just sitting at his desk was he using a mouse and keyboard if that's what they were implying then you'd think there would be a lot more people doing that yeah there's a 500 billion dollar fortune up for grabs somewhere hidden in the game that you have to find and everybody's working really hard to try and be the person to get it but why would anybody use a mouse and keyboard when you can just walk on a treadmill inside your trailer is that what he was doing not there's a gigantic corporation that's also trying to find this Easter egg and they've employed like three hundred thousand people to find it why don't they use a mouse and keyboard you'd think that that would be more cost-effective and also improve their chances at finding the Easter egg but they have this entire warehouse of virtual reality treadmills and boxes that people are using unless that's not actually what was happening the head of this corporation has like a lazy boy recliner that he just sits in how is he moving around there's parts where people are hanging on to ledges trying to crawl back up because they're gonna fall what exactly is happening when the characters are fighting each other in the virtual world he also decides to use a special suit so he can feel everything that's happening so like if somebody in the virtual world gropes you then the suit gropes you but it also makes you feel pain why would he even wear that when he knows he's going into a battle it seems like it would only just give people a clear advantage over you so why don't you just rewire the suit to make it tickle you instead seeing as how you're the head of this gigantic corporation a corporation that is built warehouses full of virtual reality prison cells that you're keeping people in which for some reason have latches on the inside that you can use to escape like all you had to do was just reach up I also like how this corporation is just legally allowed to imprison you for some reason basically if you owe them too much money they kidnap you and make you move shit around for them in the Oasis because apparently they can make back the losses by having you perform manual labor in the virtual world how does that make any sense yeah move these heavy objects from here to there and just make sure they're all in a straight line and you'll work off your debt at some point don't worry how are they making money off of that this is the same virtual world where we saw entire vehicles basically just spawn out of nowhere the main character can fit his entire vehicle inside his pocket and he just throws it onto the ground and it expands into something he can drive but you can't do the same with these road mines you're trying to lay why the hell would you need physical labor in the virtual world what the hell is going on now I didn't exactly go into this movie expecting everything to make sense at the very least I was just hoping for a bunch of pop-culture references and yet somehow even that felt underwhelming apparently all pop culture related to film and music ended in 1989 except maybe the Iron Giant I guess the only current pop culture references were all just videogames we saw a tracer we saw some master cheifs apparently Battletoads had a huge resurgence in the Year 2044 I don't know you'd think that half of the characters would just be running around as anime girls in maid outfits and the other half would be Ugandan knuckles here in the Oasis there's no limit to what you can be why was there only one furry maybe they were quarantined why didn't anyone want to be a t-rex or a King Kong seemed like almost everybody going into the battle at the end was just a normal sized human being type character you'd think that more people would show up to that as a kaiju or something are there limitations to what you can be and you're just lying at the beginning of the movie you can do anything be anyone or has the movie just seriously underestimated how wild and crazy people's imaginations can be even if we completely throw away the idea of character limitations this movie has seriously underestimated the general population you're telling me that five fucking years go by where people are trying to compete in a race and can't figure out how to do it and not one person has tried completing the race backwards that was the secret the whole time you just had to drive in Reverse and the clue was the most obvious shit I've ever seen all the main character had to do was just look at a video file of the game developer saying man you know be really cool if we could just go backwards super fast haha top speed overdrive the most obvious shit in the world that he found by going to the archives of where the developer said to look somehow five fucking years have gone by and not a single person in this 300,000 employee corporation could get the fucking hint what I know the game developer literally said to look in the archives for a clue but it couldn't see anything there's probably nothing let's stop looking for it even if the clue wasn't painstakingly obvious there is no fucking way that five years can go by and not a single person drives backwards and even if we ignore at the race where people were driving forwards isn't randomly generated the second time we see the race every single obstacle that the characters have to avoid is playing the exact same beat by beat there would be highly detailed walkthroughs after five years why is everybody that drives on this track reacting to every obstacle as though it's the first time they're on it you know for a gigantic corporation that spent five years trying to beat a fucking race you're doing a terrible job the main character winds up getting close to the end and there's like a big jump before the finish line but he winds up saving this other girl by making her bail out of her motorcycle before hitting the jump and the King Kong AI pops his head out from underneath the jump and destroys her motorcycle at which point they say no one ever makes it past King Kong at the end this is impossible but the movie explains later that people form clans I mean the entire race could be populated by people just working for this corporation if five of them tried to hit the jump at once one of them could have made it there doesn't seem to be any kind of limitations on what kind of a vehicle you can have why not just have one that propels it upwards with rockets why not have a vehicle with a ramp attached to it that other vehicles can use to propel themselves off of you're telling me that five fucking years go by and not one person is thought of this you're telling me that there hasn't been a single person that's been able to beat this just off of muscle memory alone but Adam when they die in the game they lose all their shit and so they have to start from scratch and then build themselves up again they can't just keep doing it over and over wrong there is a gigantic corporation that is involved in this and the game allows you to give items to other players you can buy and sell things in this virtual economy why don't they just have the same 30 people doing the race every day while everybody else gets loot for them this doesn't make any sense so somehow the main character is the first one to beat the race and he did so by just driving backwards because nobody else thought to do that and so his names on this gigantic scoreboard that everybody can see and somehow this doesn't make him a target that people try to kill immediately or there are no trolls in the future you don't think there's gonna be somebody that just tries to kill him for the attention everybody around him is just like whoa man that was cool can I get a picture there is a purchasable item in this game that destroys every player and item in the entire sector you don't think that there would be people that just use that to fuck everybody else up there would be people that would literally just grind and collect loot until they can afford that item purchase it and then fuck everybody what is this doing in your game this movie doesn't understand how human beings work so eventually the bad corporation man finds out who the main character is and apparently he wasn't able to do this without the main character saying his first name aha he said his name now we've got him so they track him down in the real world and they're like yo we know that you've been inside your trailer for the past three days and haven't left cuz we've got drones watching you but he wasn't in his trailer so they accidentally blow up his aunt and uncle instead these drones just fly towards his trailer and plant explosives on it and wind up killing about 50 people that weren't him how did you not see him leave the trailer he was a good 50 feet away it seemed then I guess they completely forget about these explosive drones for the rest of the fucking movie why didn't she use those when you were trying to chase him down in that vehicle apparently they were trying to kill him but they were just doing a very terrible job at it and to no surprise the main character seems to get over the deaths of his family and neighbors pretty fucking quickly if he meets up in real life with the girl that he met in the virtual world the one who's really insecure about the way she looks and is like I'm not pretty in the real world I'm only pretty in the virtual world you wouldn't like me if we met but it's an attractive redhead model with just a birthmark on her eye that she can easily cover with her hair at any point hasn't that happened before isn't that kind of like a trope at this point oh no I'm just so ugly but the main character is just such a good guy that he loves me despite me being so ugly I am totally not Freddy at all I am such an ugly person because of this birthmark on my face leave it to Steven fucking Spielberg to play the movie as safely as possible now we couldn't possibly have her be not attractive how could we possibly expect anyone to relate to a character that isn't a model eventually he winds up meeting his other friends from the virtual world in real life I guess it was just a wild coincidence that they all lived in the same city is him some Asian guy shows up and before he even says a word the main characters like its die toe how did you know that is this some low-key racism or wife so the race was one of three challenges and I already explained how stupid that was the second challenge was actually kind of cool they basically have to enter the world of the film The Shining it's a really cool sequence overall actually it appears as though they actually used footage from the film and edited the characters into it and they even gave the entire sequence kind of a film grainy look to it not one that was forced and overbearing it was actually really subtle and worked very well they even scored the sequence with music from the actual film for the most part it was pretty cool until the end of the sequence where the girl is jumping on top of floating zombies from one to the other and is about to fall and keeps having to hoist herself back up I'm sorry what exactly is going on in the real world while you're doing this what kind of fucking setup is allowing you to do that oh yeah I almost forgot about the part with the Zemeckis cube the two main characters are in trouble and there's people that are shooting at them and he's like no wait I'll just use the Zemeckis cube it rewinds time by a minute so everybody that showed up to shoot him just winds up going backwards in time by a minute but what exactly is happening in the real world are they just stuck watching their characters go backwards in time it couldn't possibly erase the memories of people playing the game in real life could it because when the other guys start going backwards in time the main characters just turn around the corner and start hanging out it's as if they don't believe that the characters that were just shooting at them won't come back in a minute there's no sense of urgency to the scene whatsoever also why didn't she go back in time - you were the one that used the Zemeckis cube not her she did not have one of these cubes that you just used why is she not also going back in time by one minute so anyway they obviously make it to the third challenge and it's kind of stupid there's a television set with some retro games attached to it and basically you're supposed to use the game to unlock some sort of a clue or else the ground breaks out from underneath you and you die at which point the next person in line gets a chance but the only reason there's a line there to begin with is because it's just the corporation that's there did the developer not anticipate that more than one person could find out about this place couldn't they're theoretically be millions of people trying to beat this fucking game on this single television you think they're all gonna politely just form a queue this challenge is basically just designed in a way that would never fucking work as soon as somebody picks up the controller someone else would just kill them why the hell would you design the challenge this way this movie does not understand how the human brain works so anyway the main character obviously finds out the thing and then he's presented with some contract in the virtual reality world but our main characters like no it's a test he he doesn't want me to actually sign it here he wants me to refuse it because of some other thing that we learned earlier about the morals of the game developer and apparently he was right he refuses to sign the contract in the games like good job you passed the test but what would have happened if he didn't would nobody get the prize would he not be able to just try again if one of the players from the gigantic corporation wind up doing that wouldn't they just tell their supervisor to make sure that the next person there doesn't do that what was the point of that meanwhile the evil corporation man shows up to the trailer park and just walks through crowds of people with a gun they're all fully aware that he's there to kill this little boy and nobody else in this American trailer park has any kind of weapon themselves all right then the cops show up and all I'm thinking is where the fuck have you been the entire movie the rest of the film plays out as though this is a world without cops but they just show up at the end out of nowhere anyway now our main characters in control of the Oasis and pretty much the last line of dialogue in the entire movie just turns him into an asshole he's narrating to the audience about how he's been that evil corporation from being able to imprison people for slave labor in the virtual world and then he's like yeah we also shut down the Oasis every Tuesday and Thursday because the lesson I learned is that as great as the virtual world can be there are some things that are in real life that are important to experience too and everybody should take a break from the virtual world to experience the happy things in their own lives so why don't you just decide to log off every Tuesday and Thursday you fucking dick why you have to force everybody in the world to do that what if there are people that do experience life in the real world and they're only days off of work where they can relax our Tuesdays and Thursdays what if visiting the Oasis on Tuesdays and Thursdays was the only thing keeping them from fucking offing themselves what if there is nothing in someone's real life that makes them happy at all and you're putting them through misery I'd love for the movie to just cut to some dude in a wheelchair with no family or friends it was such an aggravating way to force in some bullshit lesson at the end of the movie and as the narration is playing it shows him cuddling his girlfriend man everybody would just be so much better off if they could only appreciate what they have at home not everybody has a girlfriend you dick anyway that about sums up most of my issues with this movie if some parts were kind of cool and fun to watch but the movie is just so incredibly stupid and the more I think about it the more it falls apart I guess it was kind of what it tried to be more or less I'm not sure if it tried to make any sense at all whatsoever maybe I just wish that I could have had fun while not also being infuriated I don't know I guess I would recommend it kind of there are people that love this movie and there are people that hate this movie and neither of you are wrong for doing so as for myself I'm not really sure what to think at this point I guess I'm giving this one a 5 out of 10 maybe a 4 it's definitely not a 6 4 or a 5 that's what is my rating for the movie [Music]

Channel: YourMovieSucksDOTorg

Views: 1,498,282

Rating: 4.8418665 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: xIQp3KeDmwU

Length: 17min 32sec (1052 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 30 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/steelers279]

Honestly the lack of furries is the most egregious shit it pulled, 1/10 realism

[u/mosenpai]

Thank you Adam for pointing out the real flaws. There weren't any anime avatars. Literally unwatchable.

For real though what's the limit on what someone could possibly be ? The asian kid could only stay a Gundam for a limited time, but the black chick could stay the Iron Giant for as long as she wants. Because she build it from scratch ? You could clearly see big monsters during the battle, so you can easily be anything you want.

Even if you have to obtain the ability of being something big or powerful, what's stopping someone from obtaining the Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann ? What's stopping someone from being One Punch Man ?

[u/whatzgood]

I wonder if we are going to get a quickie about Moana, considering how he's been making quickies on a lot of his IMDB ratings lately...

[u/[deleted]]

This is the first time Adum has reviewed a Steven Spielberg movie.

[u/AdrenalinDragon]

My biggest problem with Ready Player One was even if you aren't nitpicking it at all, you can easily tear apart the logic of the Virtual Reality world barely thinking about it. Although I sort of enjoyed it, I definitely think there were glaring flaws that were kind of hard to ignore even if you switched your brain off to enjoy the visuals and references.

[u/sudevsen]

It was a 6/10 movie made from a 2/10 book which, when you think about it, is pretty impressive from an adaptation POV.

They're still enough dumb shit from the books but they're only so much one can do without completely disregarding the book.

[u/menonono]

How was nobody Goku or Vegeta in that final battle? You mean to tell me you can be whatever avatar you want to be and yet nobody wanted to be a super saiyan firing Kamehameha's?

This movie was fun and stuff but there were so many parts that made me so mad.

[u/acavaelusuario]

A 5 is too generous. There was nothing interesting about this movie besides the first race.

[u/SquadPoopy]

I can fix a lot of these issues in one sentence.

Just make it when they put the headset on, they are literally transported to the virtual world.

Find a way to explain it, I don’t care, it would be so much better if that was it.