r/Comedyheaven | i'm so scared right now

what society fears the most an educated raider [Music] what's up mk welcome to video you are in now existing jack is my name breaking your back is my game and today i welcome you for some fun fun hahaha things the stuff that make you go tee hee and hope that you don't also pee pee yes it's comedy heaven time so quit your whining and exercise that diaphragm of yours let's be honest you'll you'll be doing nothing more than just so get excited oh let's go i have way too much energy for this video today this one's got heart karl my beloved i don't know what is going on here i don't think i want to know wanting to buy old seized pit bikes pick unrelated well actually it is i mean after this accident i realized i wanted to seize pit bikes happy black day to all good morning what is computer uh image candle light is this someone's desperate attempt to use a computer for the first time breakfast from around the world what do people eat in other countries united states bacon and eggs great britain beans and sadness japan gallon of paint germany towel dipped in mayonnaise no way crush the bones of their enemies peru 1998 ford focus ah man why is no one donated yet the only word in the english language that contained every letter of the alphabet is cabbage they're there the other letters are shy they don't want to be seen yet i can't even avocado does someone have a youtube compilation of attempting these apps and actually getting them right every time unlike the ads they make of them if anything these game ads deserve to be mildly infuriating they're just oh god they always suck at playing their own games my yellow kicksley driving his car well well i would be if you gave me a license they should have never gave me that fourteen hundred dollars lemo welcome to the family car it's a pleasure i look forward to spitting on all of you meanwhile at down east directs cremation our newest winner lin snow won her free cremation at this year's bunger senior expo in 2015. this is are they aware of how weird this is dab dance learn more about its origins popularity and illegality in saudi arabia what's the game that best describes you ah wow well um well it was a pot roast i didn't think about a pig till i was done sorry you ate your food without showing it to the internet what is wrong with you the basketball is easy to catch because it has smaller mass and less inertia the anvil has larger mass and more inertia it is harder to stop scavenger hunt question one trail around the montgomery county parks with green fest required you must do it joey is eating an egg well check the box if you see him eating it no please please don't tell them i'm doing this they won't give me dinner again please meanwhile in perfect timing fart foot fetishes eat your heart out meanwhile in the turtle cam youtube channel i tried it's a video about a frog yes you thought turtle but you were wrong it's frogs you remember them try not to gasp when you see what they look like now pretty sure he was never that chunky but hey still loving it which gas do you breathe in or inhale ao2 b co2 c h2o or d merc men without hats men without hats performing in 2011. oh hi hi hey wait a minute i'm calling the police that is illegal lost roomba his name is hickens he's this size and weight he does not bite roomba app info battery three percent dustbin 190 oh jeez he must be a chunky roomba my husband left our bungalow door open and our roomba escaped we followed his cleaning track for four kilometers down the beach where we lost his trail higgins cannot oh really please help us to bring higgins back hashtag tammy off what kind of hashtag is that a review from chad farmer professional delicious hot dog in tots simple fast and satisfying picture related to how satisfied i am look my tongue's out hulk kneel before cross of christ and hulk repent hulk very sorry for many sins jesus please forgive hulk i don't even i don't know what is going on this is not a good tactic to convert people huh the sopranos is so cool i wish italians were real hey find kanye you won't be able to trust me you how how did you do it so fast this is why everyone loves ruari he is so sick he told everyone he was taking a bath in our hotel and everyone thought he was joking and then we all walked into his room and there he was in the bath one of the biggest legends i've missed i check him out he's he's getting washed he's crazy man mario pillow yeah i'm not what you expected but i mean exactly what you won't my buddy at dale that number has been taught about memes here's me trying my hand at it elijah said he wanted to cry when he saw it crying with laughter probably i think i ain't exactly hi i am cletus but i ain't exactly how to make meme i used to have this webkinz that i used to pour milk on and suck the milk back out of it it was sopping wet all the time i used to slam it against walls it would make a loud thud what what are you what joker is probably one of the movies ever made words of the week directions write as many words with the same pattern [ __ ] a truck luck buck duck talk muck f word yuck stuck taco bell am i pretty not one bit the oh oh no we we screwed up some days you win other days you drop a family sized lasagne on your favorite pair of shoes now they'll feel and taste great i just lost my job and i have no home i'm on the streets oh no oh my jeep leaking oil grants cherokee [Music] model you get it that's that's the joke photos of tomato basil petti pasta this is this is a disappointment how to use your seal pillow you can put on bed hold it and let it sleep with you and have a good dream put on the sofa when you are tired leaning on the soft seal pillow you will feel relaxed put in the car make it a friend of the children in the back seat of the car sail 29 cents 2015 was a crazy year in 2015 so wanted to poop so bad for those who don't actually get this in 2015 someone did a poop so bad on a british airway flight from heathrow to dubai that it had to turn around and land after just 30 minutes like understand someone did a dump so foul in an airplane that they literally had to turn around that ain't an accident that is a superpower no your prostate and that's it right there halo 3 rats have a dark secret you probably didn't know about the halo infinite drama pool's getting rather dry isn't it notes of vodka hints a fresh lemon a raspberry finish our findings from a tasting of this season's 1 vodka raspberry lemonade harvest my mother was murdered in one of your restaurants and the killer was never found whoa is this real it is real we're featuring the one dollar vodka raspberry lemonade the entire month we'll never find them because we killed them with our amazing deals come now did you know if you put a torch in a dog's mouth the light will come out of its rear end it's true it's how science works video of the day how i feel when i row like a hobbit it's giving me hobbit vibes right there hey i'm mark wahlberg happy valentine's day babe hope everyone is having a great weekend p.s this gruffy look is for the movie i'm currently filming wow very well done good on you both that's great by the way my drawing with salt look look at it look at my work why i am scared of nicocado avocado hmm why what's what's so scary about him seems like a pretty cool dude to me i don't see anything scary about him meanwhile in our slash kayaking me and my son went kayaking today don't know why but he was screaming like a little kitty cat the whole time i hate him the images does not help in this case yes i am aware that i laugh more when i see a child suffering i i understand i know it's a problem okay i am seeing help huh yeah open your mouth uh-huh good girl blizzard is hiring the world of warcraft team is hiring we are looking for snot see look you can see the exact moment they had an aneurysm so here's a shoe design mommy what do you think ukraine first lady why you do this you just copied and pasted from the internet i see you have a keen eye good sir well i shall not ignore your proposition to debate this matter thoroughly allow me to eloquently with a battle your mom wife packed my lunch for me after we were arguing what the frick oh she has a crush on you my new rear sight what look if i'm going to be looking at something all day long it might as well be something i enjoy looking at god stronghold oh no wait this is literally some educational let's list the dragons here we got liquor cigarettes dope laziness gossip wrong amusements i like the ferris wheel no that's wrong you go to hell now ungodly friends oh but the most trickiest of all slang oh no hello slang the dragon yolo oh blasphemy notice the dragons that lurk in secret places along life's pathway if you trace the path that leads to god's stronghold you will avoid the treacherous dragons find it on the picture good or good now cross out the letters from the line below that spell kill the dragon in temperance what is left will tell the secret of victory over the dragons okay uh keep your body clean oh really that's that's the way to get to heaven just just remember to soap dang there must be a lot of comic con attendees in hell rest in peace grandpa i love you and miss you very much at distort pot no no no no i'm on the bright side at least it's also her being distorted so much like grandpa um guys the president of indonesia looks like the asian obama what are you talking oh my god mining our way out of type 1 diabetes all right wolfie we just leveled up to type 2 diabetes the size of someone's attempted spelling jupiter banana for scale hey i get it i got it because the banana's so small thank you dog peas forever how i want to say stop hydrating it but that that's kind of animal cruelty isn't it hey reddit how's your favorite bd brand we care about your buttholes so we brought renowned anal surgeon dr evan goldstein to answer questions ask us anything about your buttholes do do not smile like that at me when you were talking about my butthole please whiz khalifa says a woman who cones three points without even being asked deserves anything she wants hey we love your songs so much an essay they play it during male circumcision did someone say male circumcision i require one please here i've got a lot of extra skin the barbuda evereberg most commonly referred to as a [ __ ] bird big thick and peckish richard era bong otherwise known as me this can't be this can't be real this can't be real major dick bomb nickname pink one bing bong come on man i tried recreating the meme that appeared in my dream yes pills hi this is dordash connecting you to your dasher for updates about your order um uh uh on my way wait what why are you in military uniform man now presenting jack's collection of music to massage your mate by explicitly illustrated instruction booklet enclosed the perfect gift for encouraging your partner to leave you alone more often now on to the fan art corner it is time for some appreciative work today's work my account to an r and they've made some fan art on a nail they hate the red part this is by far the smallest fan art i think we've ever received actually love it though you've got some really still hands if you're able to draw so accurately i'm going to say don't hate that red part because hating that red part is going to make you more anxious of it being there and therefore the anxiety is going to peak more you can have a habit of doing those little picking things you do when you get anxious sometimes so don't don't hate it stop it stop being anxious about things yes i'm a qualified psychologist i just fixed your mental health yes i'm amazing and definitely qualified to talk about this thing anyway hope you enjoyed today's video again if you'd like to see your future fan art in the next video be sure to post your work in the mk subreddit and if you enjoyed today's content why not give us a like so we can see what you are enjoying most of us today now with all that said it is time to say farewell my name has been jack you have been a lovely person if you've got the time when i check out some more videos but otherwise i'll see you for the next one bye bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 288,452

Rating: 4.9729009 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Comedyheaven

Id: R0OxZaenXJ4

Length: 13min 8sec (788 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 25 2021