r/Comedycemetery | where's the funny?

why don't you come to school yesterday my dad's in a hospital after a week is your dad still in hospital yes he's a doctor what's up guys and welcome back to NK my name is Damian and please press f to pay respects for comedy because they were taking a stroll through our slash comedy cemetery is that a Hillman no don't worry it's a scarecrow how can you tell he's not looking at his phone oh my god silly humans always looking at their cell phones school do you know the definition of it school equals no anime for seven hours and I need my sweet sweet anime fix the most hard-working policeman in the gaming universe what do you think comment down below courtesy of gaming buzz honey honey the baby's kicking leave my wife alone you son of a B in that silly we're already getting so far into the rabbit hole that I can't see a way out is it a man or a woman is a person you don't say mom I thought it was a motorboat to all those ding goos can you see god no can you touch god no that mad not a god bro raises his hand ma'am can you see your brain no can you touch your brain no okay so you don't have a brain oh I love cute notes God your aura Stingray stingray what does that mean it means you have a stinger like a bee yes I'm a water be no that's not what I meant buzz buzz bubble bubble-butt blonde was weed a whack in her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat who was hiding in the grass she rushed her cat along with the tail over to Walmart why Walmart hello Walmart's the largest retailer in the world boom Shh I could never cheat in a relationship that would require to people finding the attractive in a classroom a boy was praying teacher why are you praying in a classroom mom advised me that before sleeping you must pray this guy made a spider cop cosplay and it rules pot man part spider all cup spider cup spider cup sees black guy in pop pop pop I like their profile pictures Morgan Freeman thanks merchant for him and watch me whip now watch me nae nae I laughed way too hot at bits thanks Nicole almost equality number six I can operate a vehicle yes/no or female if you did this your childhood was awesome early days of the Kylie Jenner challenge yeah bruh white a dog into yearbook her mother should have named her 12 because she doesn't cook doesn't claim doesn't do anything what do you do after school I always go to buy cigarettes from Jakob oh I go to buy weed from Jakob oh I'd go and buy cocaine from Jakob oh I always stay home and do my homework you're a great student I hereby appoint you as the class monitor you're a good example of other students what's your name ha Jakob oh these kids buy drugs from me ma'am I'm a drug dealer that's my whole deal and has no girlfriend because she ran away crying right now thanks memes what no G handle define energy I know the full definition man but I just remember a little bit of the definition okay tell me what you remember and this thing is called energy how come I can understand you are you using some sort of neural language router actually I'm speaking English you freaking idiot this frickin movie I swear I love Paul you know he's 25 and still plays video games brah please y'all 60min pregnant roses are red violets are blue with a like yours belongs to Zoo don't be sad I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you dedicate this song to your friend named that friend who has this power thanks meme troll DK Aisha no Monty says you know Apple is run by men when they call an iPhone 6 plus and it's only 5.5 inches of course it's run by men it's a trillion dollar company not a kitchen badoom are you following my tweets I [Applause] will show you a magic trick that will let you forget you're a gay I'm not gay see you forgot WTF what's this me gusta why is it color don't like that at all man it's so weird when you give it skin tone at least I saved my girl who still didn't dance like a jack a at least I get to hang out with the Avengers God said I have talent Noah didn't get it cos Eminem's the god the rap god damn it and he made that song remember where he said it was a Tim nice tub Thanks I thought I have a name and they're both yelling oh my god The Hulk green man gamora's brother Shrek hey where do you game playstation and you Xbox brothers and you PC PC PC iPod iPad I paid I peed man equals male iron equals Fe iron man equals female calm down calm down junk food balanced meal rip logic as a kid me can I go to this party parents no but all my friends are going before your friends jumped off a bridge would you as an adult you should get married No but all your friends are getting married if all my friends jumped off a bridge I just had my first kiss like for real with a lady yeah your mom doesn't count yeah but yours does start writing you will thank smartphone I sure feel smartphone I can't help but laugh my butt off at this song like the whole time I'm thinking of this dude on our normal day taking a dump a real crapper and then suddenly some rank and screaming going on outside and so the dude looks behind him out the window and sees whoa aliens are invading and then he's like well crap can't move won't take it a dump so he's frantically trying to overcome constipation then whoa Godzilla comes out of the water and smacked the UFO final wave killed several hundred Eila mouths and people now planes are flying around trying to kill UFO aliens and Godzilla then out of the forest comes King Kong now King Kong Godzilla's fighting out the crash they disappeared you're faced with master mothership your four abducted I'm dropping more aliens pew people you the guys like whoa crap you serious I'm taking a crap but right now I'm gonna move then King Zilla comes down for the mothership but it's wreaking havoc on the city fighting ensues again with the mutated beast the guy finishes dumb flushes the toilet running running aw crap when I got the wipe crunchy buns run now and thank me later for that piece of comedy I'll take my Oscar Academy any female born after 1993 can't cook only those McDonald's change they phone twork be bisexual eat hot chip and lie Thanks oh why did you block out the name of this user why does this have 10,000 reach honey I'm home oh there you are Bannos what I'd like to speak to your manager Karen marvel is that the real Karen marvel Karen me walking home after work when suddenly two wild brothers appeared me thinking just tech normal and say hi hey handsome hey brahs haters gonna hate potatoes gonna potat only men get this joke there's no search history and that's silly we have all these gentlemen laughing we got what Obama I want to say I know who that is but I don't George Clooney Justin Bieber I just don't get it in Robert Pattinson Doctor Strange is making a portal to grab the Infinity Gauntlet I Thanos has taken a big old shower modern problem require modern solution why didn't you just get the Dave Chappelle photo for this why why did you have to get the bum bargain brand version I like your pants thanks you're a 50% off I like it better the you were 100 percent off the story can't just give away clothes for free oh god Steve that's not what I meant that's a terrible way to run a business Natasha you're talking to Steve Rogers big business boy a business guru and you're trying to flirt with him - Tasha Romanoff how about you didn't Natasha get out of my face nice try mom please don't tell me that's pickles is between an apple elegies okay well wipe out half the universe what if the population is an odd number when I see my answer paper with my friends and they're all giggling at it me no study me no care me go marry a millionaire if you die me no cry me go marry another guy it's the worio philosophy ready is number 69 in Playstore charts read it I can't do is click but he says nice I tried everything but still she is not coming out of Anastasia she is not coming out of anesthesia anesthesia s teeth I don't know what the word it's a weird word with a lot of A's and E's idea sale sale sale 50% off where and they're all laughing they do a smile than that guy - he's like huh silly old women of course I'm in love with you darling and white letters it says I'm lying wouldn't you notice it the longest five seconds in anyone's life is waiting to press the skip ad button on YouTube by the way let me know how many ads we skip call me down below how many ads you skipped dude come to my house right now no [ __ ] why it's 258 a.m. but I just got my brother's secret stash of Oreos I'll be over in five minutes back doors open thanks smartphone high-five for smartphone what do you call it 3.14 meter long snake a Python Hey hydrogen iodine what hydrogen H iodine hi hi do you like to talk to everyone in science sodium get lost dude potassium the most savage character to get this soulstone you must lose one you love I soul for a soul Oh red skull did I ever tell you how much I love you hold a frag made him a Starfleet officer I dated a prince I dated a prince I needed a prince - what are you talking about mine was a captain well I dated a military leader I dated the son of the Greek gods oh really I dated a bad ass be you've gotta go back to 1945 find Donald Trump's father and give him a condom Marty give him a condom men are like Bluetooth he is connected to you when you're nearby but searches for devices when you're away women are like Wi-Fi she sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one Bluetooth can only connect to one device at a time we'll need confirmation both devices to connect successfully Wi-Fi connects to multiple devices and can be set without a password aren't you a little young to be an Avenger aren't you a little old to be a virgin whenever I have a problem I sing then I realize that my voice is a lot worse than my problem Xbox one help I am on fire I need an ambulance ps4 wait I am calling one wii u wii u wii u wii u wii u wii u to up votes thanks are / joke son I'm buying a new Xbox one for Christmas I can't believe it I've wanted one my whole life I didn't say it was for you and that brings us to the end of our / comedy cemetery and I thoroughly grieved be sure to leave a like on this video and and subscribe for more content we probably post so much content we're practically giving it away for free and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 3,500,299

Rating: 4.9077072 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, sorrow tv, rslash, giofilms, r/comedycemetery, r/comedycemetery top posts, r/comedycemetery best posts, comedy cemetery, comedycemetery, emkay

Id: BMeDg-t5r6A

Length: 13min 53sec (833 seconds)

Published: Thu May 30 2019