r/Comedycemetery | FUNNY LOL MOMENT

you know if you think Tide Pods are good try the cotton candy in the attic thank me later [Music] what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash comedy cemetery when you forgot password' I hate it when that happens I love this he's like he's had it it's not even any kind of normal like aw come on he is he is disassociated completely epic lost unicorn if found please stop doing drugs can't make me can't make me she said choke me daddy so I gave her to Popeyes biscuits with a drink how you feeling now that enough choke for you where are you at the gym babe send me a pic see it's the gym how was it lying mean you should go to the world to cope together what it's the museum of coke and you could try coke for all over the world like coke or coke are you asking me if I'm talking about coke the drug or coke the drink yes why would there be a museum about cocaine and allow samples Oh No maybe Russia oh no any doctor here I'm a doctor what's going on he has a cold I'm a doctor in computer science he's going to die update his antivirus get a computer freaks that's a me that's a virus joke windows firewall baby what it do malwarebytes I've got up they can update that Wikipedia I know everything Google I have everything Facebook I know everybody internet without me you all are nothing electricity socket bras teacher okay students what does chicken give you students eggs good no does the pig give you bacon nice now what does the fat cow give you homework roasted ditch sir your cows been hacked steam no bank account Oh oh thank god thought someone's gonna hack why tf2 accounts get my burning tea captain hey so my friend Joe recently applied for a job at SpaceX you even get lot of men who's Joe Joe mama well well you may have roasted me you've completely forgotten about your friend Candice who's Candice Candice weena fit in your mouth Oh so where's why Bill Nye and I looked exactly alike best you didn't know you guys look nothing alike Daniel not even close but Bill Savage is hell hey babe I'm so sorry but I think I might have liquor you might want to get yourself tested holy crap isn't that like updog no not that bad it's kind of like sock on Oh Rick how can you be such a Bopha I know I think I got it from Joe who the hell is Joe we won mr. stark you know it's crazy all we have to do nowadays to catch kids attention but hey at least they're learning right I mean there's a positive to that of course baby you're embarrassing me I brought you over here me and my parents for the first time you haven't said one thing to them why I bought condoms at the store earlier and told the cashier trying to get lucky tonight okay that cashier was your mother I cannot make eye contact why do you do that to your hair to make it look longer okay now tell me exactly how you bring your penis no want to make it look longer weird look dad so I'm putting out a bunch of tweets and then they added extra characters to all the words or as I call it a book oh these poor old me these Jen's ears these tweeters these these chick Tucker's they know nothing about a book I'm a baby boomer this what I say joke of the day listen close it's a real gut buster an eight-year-old girl went to the office with her father on take your kid to work day as they were walking around the office the young girl started crying and getting very cranky her father asset was wrong with her as the staff gathered around she sobbed loudly daddy we're all the clowns that you said you worked with and now he works with no one he was fired shortly thereafter boys dad I got a girlfriend Congrats girls dad I got a boyfriend you what daughter of daddy daddy yes honey I just want to tell you have a new boyfriend oh good I have a new gun not seeing the connection hopefully neither will the cops I just this isn't funny it's I mean appropriately enough it's County Cemetery but this isn't entertaining for me hi this is your son's music teacher I just wanna let you know that your son is like Elvis Presley who really that's good yeah we found a dead on the toilet your wife is pregnant but that's impossible I was wearing a condom but I wasn't shows middle finger it's this besides your wiener or the number of your friends just got roasted super hot fire style man this morning these red balls to the water to make my coffee after 15 minutes of traveling on the highway I realized I left my car at home okay hey I mean can you believe happens to the best of us really can't blame me you know my daughter said only one beer a day so I only ordered one didn't see how big a DB I got um school two plus two is four homework two plus three plus four is nine exam David has four apples his train is seven minutes early calculate the mass of the Sun hey what is Norway Navy have barcodes on the sides of the ship and so when they come back to port that can scan the Navion this is officially my most famous dad joke ever thank you for showing me this joke bro close your eyes okay bro what do you see nothing bro that's my life without you bro bro we finally found the bro please guy there he is it's him where have you been all these years man we're worried yesterday there's nobody to cover your shift I'm sorry I was becoming a father yesterday oh really I'm happy for you boy or girl I'll tell you in nine months you're fired - flowers post - flowers is for flowers good six flowers plus five flowers equals eleven flowers very good now let's say twenty two thousand three hundred forty three flowers plus thirty two thousand four and a fifty three flowers that's a garden baby what you know about gardens man I'm old enough to remember when mentally ill people were put in hospitals not Congress Oh apex legends fails to kill fortnight minecraft fails to kill fortnight fortnight fine I'll do it myself us oh thank you Jesus fortnight psyche you thought me I still liked for it it I stream it all the time I have a great time for tonight's a fun game I'll prove it to you I'll prove it T's used you stop by one of my streams you see they go oh yeah that's pretty good that's pretty good that's pretty good game how dare you me tells a slightly racist joke at dinner my mom my little brother my dad my DA what's going on with your dog that's what I want to know your mom equals gay true Albert Einstein I need your help fan you have a calling now my friend what are you doing killing mosquitoes how many you kill total five three female to male how do you know their gender three near mirror and two near beer bottle got him did I am the son of God her prove it me every colored pen down at the same time who else can do that not you just sort of God girls waking up what a wonderful morning boys waking up god damn i have minecraft wood how am I gonna tell my dad I'm pregnant leave that to me later at dinner mm-hmm I need water hmm I need water oh no grandpa needs water shot shot real smooth you're you're gonna be a grandpappy Oh finally a parking spot for middle-aged men with beer bellies who love to grill get away from my grill this morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator staring at her boobs when she said would you please press one so I did you know what she meant you perm used you terrible you you Prince of rats you know exactly what she meant hey bro yeah bro did you hear about the Maya he Maya who Maya ha ha bro oh boy he got you good bro that moment you realize if you turn your head you're a dead man I mean you're like hey I was looking somewhere don't worry about it people have skin and potato have skin so where are all potatoes the hiccup aren't these two not even in the same movie yes use that at the character wasn't even related to the same I hate it tempo changes mid-song years and years of practice six eight ten minute songs and multiple sequences ripping solos 200 bpm nah impressed plays three chords sings about girls oh my god is so amazing and talented waters screenshot sir it's a to the black male our friends you use screenshots for the wrong reasons a pessimist sees a dark tunnel an optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel a realist sees a freight train the train driver sees three freakin idiots standing on the tracks the cops see a crime scene yeah I know everything about tennis ask me anything and I'll answer how many holes are in the net uh it's an oddly specific question answer it you said you knew where you lie to me you liar he said he had a house of the pool didn't say I'll bake the house and pool where though are you two girls from England Wales you idiots oh sorry you to Wales from England jeez holy crap you freakin kill there dude you did it you killed her true love never ends do you forget you love he not been able to close the zip even till now what an idiot yo you have a girlfriend dude yeah dude nice where's she from not from a different nation oh really which nation bro my imagination bro Oh what about half a universe one of the populations are not number then I'll kill one random thing in addition may I add one more on top yeah hey yo said the pic damn what are you Kanye East I mean he's got the Kanye look may as well go full send hey you know what I think Joe has lignum okay two things what's Joe who's Lichtman Oleg mama Joe balls yet confused stocks alright yeah Peter Griffin is real finally so I've wanted in life history will be made the first ever all-female space walk to happen in the next 48 hours houston we have a problem what's the problem never mind please tell us just forget it I'm fine get it cuz well I'll talk about it mmm funny doctor I want to lose weight what should I do I have iPhone X 928 gigabytes I have a DSLR camera I have Mercedes I have a hundred million dollars in my bank Congrats you're slim now suggest a girl to visit this doctor because they chasing the valuables that'll be $13.50 hands are four hundred thirty four dollars and 19 cents sir just bring it up please okay so your change is four hundred and twenty dollars and sixty nine cents oh my god will you marry me now philosoraptor watch this distance rafter over time rafter we gotta know we know what the philosoraptor is get it women are the best thank you but it's actually oh not II actually I forgot the space out of the first EC Drake he's clapping for me he thought that was a good one hey what's more metal than beheading Justin Bieber beheading Justin Bieber while listening to metal God um to hell with that bottle I know you've got milk observation question hypothesis prediction experiment and results now we get the protons electrons and neutrons protons positive electrons negative from the neutron doesn't care emoticons scientists use them too shortly after a british airways flight had reached his cruising altitude the captain announced ladies and gentlemen this is your captain welcome to flight 293 nonstop from London Heathrow to Toronto the weather ahead is good so we should have a smooth an eventful flight so sit back relax and oh my god silence followed someone with later the captain came back on the intercom ladies and gentleman I'm sorry if I scared you while I was talking to you if I do tend to accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap you should see the front of my pants one Irish passenger yelled for fruit sick you should see the Beckham on my nodes like Scottish really poor Scottish but you know what I think it's funny if it's a Scottish man these are so bad I'm getting like a headache reading these like comedy cemetery posts they're just they're just not good enough people are like it's doing it spits the supper and it's not funny at all but man that's unbearable finding a pencil in grade school teacher so in lost her pencil I'd like to return into finding a pencil middle school shaky with her find out who it is shaky better find out whose it is finding a pencil in high school can't baby Jesus thank you for thank you so much for bestowing this gift upon me pie-eating contest nos son free pie man's 200 IQ you where's your homework I ate it say what you said it was a piece of cake so I ate it it was delicious this is epic how was your pilot you're not wearing the parachute it's my bag nothing's faster than light one record video of the light to press fast forward on VCR you've now created something faster than the speed of light problem Einstein yeah because that's not how it works at all actually push doesn't work pool if that doesn't work we must be closed what a savage explaining operating hours Tom I have a good news and a bad news okay so the bad one first you're probably gonna die I said the bad one first and that's ready 200 baby what it do shower equals 27 minutes 25 minutes is reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life in the universe two minutes to wash and rinse the body how I'd type mm-hmm no I just use one finger all the way through yeah oh I'd do that chicken Peck of that keyboard baby don't sue or I'll kill you genius the smallest fully functioning human penis in the world was only 1/16 of an inch long hey you said you wouldn't tell anyone data entered into an active volcano for that joke respect that's self-destruction a hundred when you get 69 in a test but you don't pass I have one but at what cost don't Google what sexes our end up like him no by a sheep named it relation you now have a relationship are you still mad I'm furious are you fast - shut up Ted just shut the hell up sorry you have the right to remain silent impossible I'm a vegan not a feature post from 7:07 treats fan are 4mk I'm not very good with hands or spooky art but here's a posh looking hand oh look at you he's a dapper guy I love that thank you so much that brings us to the end of our slash comedy cemetery if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,793,945

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/comedycemetery, r/comedycemetery top posts, r/comedycemetery best posts, comedy cemetery, r/comedyheaven top posts, r/comedyheaven best posts, comedy heaven, r/okbuddyretard, r/bruhmoment, boomer humour, funny, reddit funny, unfunny, cringe, reddit cringe, r/comedycemetery emkay, emkay

Id: DEvtFKh7OLQ

Length: 14min 4sec (844 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 05 2019