r/ComedyCemetery · 😐

when your name isn't a math problem and it says you have 400 watermelons I am melon Lord what's up everybody welcome back to easy peasy my name is Robin and today I'm gonna be looking at some posts on our slash comedy cemetery without further ado let's get right into this I don't care what color your skin is what size you are or what your sexual preference is I hate everyone Frick you you are what you eat I am speed visiting two human zoos uh oh I get it it's a reverse alright how to get a girlfriend counterpoint No step 1 take a hot bath step 2 increase the temperature one degree C per hour step 3 slowly get used to a hotter temperature so that you don't notice it anymore step 4 after some days become able to swim in lava oh the headache is getting worse most badass historical quote ever British officer you French fight for money while we British bite for honor Robert suck oof sir a man fights for what he lacks most I mean it's pretty good if it's real you mean to tell me that she's hiding behind her hands Oh baby jokes are my favorite I have to pee go piss girl it all started May 28 2016 when they killed that dang gorilla I liked how the internet collectively agrees that the death of Harambee in 2016 is the flashpoint that sent us down our timeline well hey you've got any better theories please could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk if they have avocados get six they had avocados Jay thanks Amelia Bedelia Here I am taking care of my granddaughter because her mother is so busy and taking a selfie no they're starting so young I've a BMW so what I'm a FEMINIST and you cannot pick girls like us up even with a Lamborghini or a Ferrari what vehicle are you gonna use then a forklift I don't care what universe you're from that's gotta hurt yeah reading that did hurt one redditors see funny crap Scrolls down redditors see relatable crap a boat when redditors see that a person used an emoji you're going down bastard dinosaurs returning in April of 2020 now freakin way freakin Lizzy's here hi guys you know what I thoroughly do believe that woman is immortal what did you do during the coronavirus mom went to work like a G because I'm freaking essential freaking Legend these posts are starting to overload my brain with negative thoughts hi hello I love you really yes I am lucky to have a friend like you friendzone reached to a new level because that's not real don't you see man uses his savings to fill up gas tanks for dozens of nurses heading to nearby hospital because that's what heroes do you're a good man thank you not the hero we deserve but the hero we needed he's a man of focus commitment and sheer freakin will careful he's a hero everyone like that gonna make a man cry and that's okay social distance foreplay it just isn't the same and you never know that might be someone's kink every other celebrity flexes on money and rich stuff Keanu Reeves oh we don't do that here making of the world's first camera who the hell took that picture then camera mirror another mirror so you're telling me the first picture ever was a selfie okay fire alarm goes off teacher stay calm poor bastard named calm oh no he's gonna die NSFW which fictional character would you totally bang your girlfriend that wound will never fully heal he'll carry it the rest of his life I'm a feminist what's a feminist it means she's afraid of men no it doesn't you want to go out on a date stop it Patrick you're raping her ever pluck a guy's eyebrows and realize they're absolutely not the superior gender and her weak as heck my partner thought this until she got an uppercut she wasn't very superior after that oh this just went from zero to 100 real freaking fast us town rejects solar farm amid worries that it would suck up all the energy from the Sun ilan must be like COD if watermelon exists why don't men fire melon and air melon the elements my mom you can't just post a picture of eggs and expect people to like it me oh I get it die die like it yeah no no no no no no I'm not even gonna try okay that's ridiculous hero cat rescues drowning fish raises it as one of her own oh how nice oh look steak into the family real well you know the drill right yes hi it's nice to see you again the dog is okay beware of owner the owner no boy guys literally only want one thing and it's freakin disgusting the girl named disgusting what you have only one wish what would you wish for the world to have right now cure for coronavirus a real-life anime girls this is pretty standard reddit stuff watch he's gonna say I love democracy I love democracy days without toilet paper me laughing in Asian are you freaking kidding me with this one thank you to every person who has ever told me I can you're just another reason I will you can't transfer a thousand dollars to my account I swear David you can't Oh yikes why don't you come to school yesterday my dad is in hospital after a week is your dad still in hospital yes he's a doctor one day in class we made a sex and animals noise and our teacher said please don't make your mother's and dad's noise Wow that was a wild roller coaster of absolute cringe Canada USA and Mexico should be unified as the see um Republic so our frontier signal will be welcome to the come zone hiya smart guy meeting your friend's girlfriend for the first time be like hello I am the co-author of all of the text messages you receive that one's actually pretty legit I love you WTF what do you mean WTF welcome to friendzone see how the heart is all nice and chopped up country roads take me home to the place I belong Chiqui nuggies Wow true comedic genius with that one dude how was the exam really hard dude left the paper blank left it blank - crap the teachers gonna think we cheated you're a genius you [ __ ] I'm sorry none of these are making me laugh mainly because they're all really really bad so bear with me excuse me ma'am what would you like to donate to charity maybe what's it called caw caw caw caw it's for good cause I'm so funny today's my cake day I don't know if that's true so I'm gonna check BRB hmm so it is true I looked it up and you're right have a nut boat okay when I have a bruise how it actually is how my mom sees it how my grandma sees it how my dad sees it how my friends see it true story Wow that one takes the cake Bravo bro in court order order one pizza two sandwiches two burgers and one cold drink shut up no no 7up please make them stop hey bro what's up nothing much converting oxygen in the carbon dioxide oMG how do you do that breathing bro breathing OH out of the way Dave Chappelle there's a new king in town Millennials climate change will kill us all if we don't do anything boomers sorry I can't see where that's my problem also Millennials calls kovat nineteen boomer remover boomers just take a little dose of karma grandpa will you quit playing video games for me blocked dude you're so fat you want to know why I'm fat why cuz every time I screw your girlfriend she gives me a biscuit what was that oops gotta go biscuit break oh man I'm dying I'm dying me in ten years cashier sir your bill is twenty twenty me the flashbacks to the most horrid year so far I never understood why people are against video games every weekend my son invites his friends to spend the night and play video games showing that it's a great group activity sure people can say it's violent it's no more violent than what they show on TV of murder shootouts and assault people can tell the difference between real and fake Karen you're a bad guy but this does not mean you are bad guy oh no what the heck happened here so anyway baby shark came on my playlist and you know that that craps my jam I hate it when I lose my black friends in the dark I hate it when I lose my white friends in the snow I hate it when I lose my Asian friends in the sand so where do you lose your Arabian friends in an explosion oh oh Jesus bring me four antidotes now there's only three left check their phones for tick-tock the heck you're gonna do if they all have it be kind of animals or I'll kill you I'll take your entire stock any doctor here I'm a doctor what's going on a heart attack I'm a doctor in computer science he's going to die boot him up in safe mode all right give me a defibrillator ten facts for you you're reading this you can't say the letter M without both of your lips touching each other you just tried it you're smiling you didn't notice I said without without in fact number two you didn't notice I missed back five you just checked it you're either smiling or giggling you're going to like or comment this is actually fact ten welcome to 2012 internet no welcome to we stole that from Facebook 50 cent one dollar Oh see I understand because 50 plus 50 is a hundred and a hundred cents is a dollar that's genius she asked her husband for an 18 karat necklace well it looks great on you this is one of the reasons why I'm happy being single hi OMG why are you not replying to me are you ignoring me I never expected this from you I'm done have a good life baby give me time for replying to you there it is it's the worst one that's the single worst one so far ouch me God please send me a good man God sends one you not this one he's five nine all women hate men under 6 foot 8 its scientific fact 3 rules no reposting no emojis be kind I laugh at post but don't up boat there are four rules oh man not a single one of those rules has followed anyway I asked for two large fries not a hundred freakin little ones the worst part is that's just more accurate than funny oh thank goodness we made it to the end that's all we've got for you remember again if you enjoy the video makes to hit that like button and if you really enjoyed the video subscribe and hit the bell icon and until next we meet I'll be seeing ya [Music]

Channel: EzPz

Views: 82,045

Rating: 4.8862195 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/comedycemetery, r/comedycemetery top posts, r/comedycemetery best posts, comedy cemetery, reddit comedy, comedyheaven, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: SccuchDIB4E

Length: 11min 23sec (683 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 26 2020