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oh man only legends will get this listen I'm a legend Loki so with you on a secret there crossing streams what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash comedy cemetery but just before that I do want to tell you guys again about our /m k MK subreddit we have so many new people joining that community every single day and it means a lot to me and the team and if you want to join it too we have the link on the screen in the description in the comments for your convenience and I'm pretty active there myself so I hope to see you on our / MK and without further ado on to the video if you can read this then congratulations you have depression oh all right thanks rest in peace boiling water you will be missed oh shut up that's a stupid joke that's a dumb when the bus driver suddenly slams on the brake yeah is that what you call it suddenly he's brake checking all the idiots in the back Tinkerbell finds out she has a cousin Taco Bell bro it's too early for this man is way too early for this this isn't funny that's not a funny joke when other people see it yeah but when I see it 69 LOL that's the funny sex number you see it's funny cuz like the 6 and the 9 look like two people and their heads alike you know likes like sex he ever you ever had rest in peace oh she died f no no no a a-plus student you know two steps ahead and the teachers like my a joke to you so what is girlfriend wow that's easy it's additional problems subtraction of money multiplication of enemies and division of friends wisely put single guy wisely put indeed mine oh come on bro I just read to the end this is such an old joke my name is Jafar and I come from afar there's a bomb in my car Oh Oh funny she said if I bought her an 18-carat necklace I could watch football all day there's the boys laughing at your hilarious prank ask her out bro I can't why bro I don't have the guts can I ask you one question but you just did okay can I ask - you already did okay can I ask four questions well you just did again win no that's the kind of person who you don't invite to the party well that just sucked the joy out of my day oh I stumped you I have 200 IQ my brain Lord you just asked me a question when he asked if he could ask me a question mmm too bad I sound like such an old man like a cranky old man for this subreddit mom missed call 17 times now that is an Avengers level threat oh yes it is you know you think you know it man if you laugh at other people's conditions you'll be like them in the future Bill Gates Bill Gates Bill Gates hey I'm texting my boyfriend the boyfriend says you spend way too much time on Xbox you never spend any time with me but I'm trying to unlock a new achievement hey guess what what achievement unlocked single ooh he doesn't like gamer girls this mad lad change his profile picture to him chuffing back of dart and put that butt out young boys screw you nan I'd do what I want oh he's a he's a punk he's a punk kid you can't make a meme out of candy and expect people to get it me oh I know exactly what you're referring to man I think we all do fellas hey it's the Xbox 360 oh I get it but the Illuminati does too and they want you to delete this and somehow they sent it an 8-bit fund Johnny treated the group barbecue and barbecue tomorrow at my place nice can't wait for a fat steak and a pair of ribs great any vegans here yeah me glad you asked Sarah has been removed from the group all right huh boys night boys night boys night you never said you did cocaine I don't I just like the way it smells that's a classic Rodney Dangerfield joke that's not a dead joke it's a dead comedian but not a dead joke Cole is perfect but nobody is perfect so Cole is nobody and nobody loves me that means Cole loves me Cole does not love you sorry to break it to you buster but Cole does not love you he says he has a corner office with a view gets paid to travel around in a $400,000 vehicle screw it I'll sleep with them so what do you do now a bus driver damn you got played copy the reindeer ctrl + C ctrl + V and that student of the year that's not on a test you know good and well that's not on a test why didn't you come to school yesterday my beds in a hospital seven days later is your dad still in a hospital yeah he's a doctor get out of my classroom yeah expelled girls when they sneeze that's a little kitten boys when they sneeze active dads when these sneeze then why was the third ones why did you get sneeze wrong the third time you spelled it right twice but when Dad sneeze Oh Lord they're coming you pick dinner pizza no Chinese no Indian no okay then what would you like it's up to you all right the sun's out there photosynthesize huh how about that you want to be picky eat the Sun idiot when the internet is down and you go outside for the first time in a decade it would thoughtbut dog is this this is a tortoise why do we drink water because we can't eat water I'll give you obvious answers are you doing that's the joke you drink it again no it's just tea what kind of tea tequila butter nut nut tequila are you childish yes or no no are you stupid no are you paranoid no why are you racist No are you drunk no do you do drugs no wow that's Savage wowee what's that's real sick how is that oh man my a boomer sometimes I feel like I'm a boomer why do we write a cetera at the end of exams et Cie well because it means end of thinking capacity how is the weirdest laugh I've ever met hey hey you want to hear a joke yeah sure spider-man trilogy we don't get it exactly Oh Oh me mature I still laugh when the ketchup on Florence I'm not mature today the teacher asked me how I viewed lesbian relationships apparently in full-hd wasn't the right answer but it wasn't the wrong answer 40 year old gamer wife sweetie you too all those stupid games I'm not that sorry you died honey true game is never die me just respawn now you married me Wow only true gamers will understand this one get it because it's clipping like in a video game ah got him dog you made a gold titanium sulfur and carbon because you are autistic dad yes son cameo my grandma no she's my mom but you married mine well what a savage Savage alert Cooper's revenge that's him dad Oh Mario was going to do his jump on his head students invent bacteria that eat plastic and the entire Kardashian family is petrified Trump is lame actually it's a very funny sign wait looking close it says Islam that's dumb seventy years a nice result 20 years with wife resolved but he's happy as an old man white listen I would much rather of him spent 20 years with the wife and come back as that old withered man did spend this 70 years in ice me getting captured by jigsaw you've wasted your life drinking craft beers now you've been poisoned one of these 200 bottles contain the anti dawn what what do you mean done I mean fight me tricycle puppet brah I would try to burp on command but I'm pretty sure I'd throw up when I was a kid you didn't have to say don't try this at home because if it weren't complete morons back then dude I just read this joke come on man boo I was at a store buying condoms I asked for 50 of them there were 14 meters behind me and these started laughing I turn around look them in the eye and said make that 54 that's illegal sir you can't do that you can't say that a leopard can stay in one position for 3 hours huh I'm a leopard damn bro the life of a STONER he's high as can be baby maths be like if the plane moves 253 kilometers southwest and the wind blows from 60 degrees southeast calculate the age of the pilot what don't you good luck idiot student brain is like the Bermuda Triangle information goes in and then it's never found again that's so funny bro I cannot wait tow County cemetery just crashes and burns I hate this humor so much I feel like a cranky old man anytime I go through this subreddit the year is 2259 Earth is a member of the United Federation of Planets - the United Kingdom which is still trying to leave the EU hey listen good old Boris I can't call good old Boris Johnson The Dude's an idiot I mean I've started keeping up with what's going on he's like a cartoon character it's the funniest thing please leave my town I will very soon bro is that the moa be mother of all bombs did you just assume the gender of that bomb when I secretly used mobile instead of studying in my room and my sister tattling on me my father and mother Oh the shortest horror story ever tomorrow is Monday I shouldn't be laughing now watch me whip now watch me Naenae Cottam WTF have you been and the emergency room all night oh my god are you okay I feel better now because that emergency room aim for treating patients baby hey can you pass me the external hard drive no she wants the D hot peppers left over from spicy Chinese food challenge accepted Oh nom nom ain't even hot the next day oh my god I am crapping the shot it's what you get for challenging the peppers where you for watch hot ones surviving on photosynthesis like a moss boom if I was a plastic surgeon I would 100% put a squeaky toy in every breast implant and then get sued you know if you are my husband I'd poison your coffee if you were my wife I'd drink it me pertain to bark back at my dog my dog wondering why I'm threatening to take him to China whoa take it easy man chill out solving a math problem my answer is 83 but the answer choices are 2294 145 and 195 well 94 is closest to 83 so that must be the answer your Pug is freaking amazing it's my son sorry your son is a freaking pug babe I'm a queen bee I rule well you know the queen bees are horn screws every male behind holy crap you Frick had killed a dude and jontron said it which means it has to be true how I like to do my recycling keeps my neighbors out of my hair and the police at my door I want to break up with you what why just nothing I don't want to stay like this anymore did you find someone else yes and he's much better and richer than you is his name Robert what how do you know because it's my fake account you idiot oh my god I'm sorry nah baby nah call me Steve we're through idiot I wish my parents were superheroes Oh rip huh mail delivery huh oh that's sad she was unloyal to him but maybe it was before the marriage who knows but what I do know is that's the end of our slash commie cemetery and if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from m'kay and his always obviously any [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,272,328

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/comedycemetery, r/comedycemetery best posts, r/comedycemetery top posts, comedy cemetery, reddit comedy cemetery, r/comedyheaven, r/comedyheaven best posts, r/comedyheaven top posts, comedy heaven, reddit comedy heaven, comedy heaven emkay, r/comedyheaven emkay, r/comedycemetery emkay, reddit funny, emkay

Id: -msGFs2kBWc

Length: 13min 22sec (802 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 17 2019