r/Askreddit "Who's the DUMBEST Person You've Ever Met?"

welcome to our sloshed ass credit where users answers the question who was the dumbest person you ever met how did you know girl in my class asked the professor if other countries have moons - my best friend asked me is when I moved to Europe she asked me if I could see the Moon there or if it only existed for the USA when I moved from Europe to the US I was asked do you guys have television this was in 2005 I had a guy at work tell me that Benjamin Franklin was the hundredth president because he's on the hundred dollar bill she thought I was trying to trick her into believing that Adolf Hitler was real I have legit encountered someone who claimed that NASA is fake not just the moon landing conspiracy stuff but the entire organization the buildings the people the rockets everything is just CGI and you can tell it is CGI because everything got so much better and improved as CGI grew closer to perfection in our current day someone in my work express shock once at my postcard of Niagara Falls because she didn't believe it was a real place I thought that was just for films I always thought it was a made-up place you know like the Grand Canyon I know a guy who thinks the specialty he drinks negates the negative health effects of his pack a day a smoking habit I went to school with a girl that legitimately thought 9/11 was done by German Nazis pretty sure that was 9/11 I know a guy who vaped mercury on a dare just to be clear everyone mercury is poisonous do not vape mercury you could die as in actually in the ground dead we hired a girl a couple years ago I told her where the manager's office was her first day second days she asked me where the manager's office was so I walked her to the door third days she asked me where it is again our manager chewed out the girl who trained our new recruit for not teaching the job properly the trainer pulled out her phone and showed the manager a picture of the girl wearing uniform backwards and said look at this this is untrainable new girl got fired about three weeks later for stealing the product because she thought she got it for free because she was an employee at it some of you are kind enough to give her the benefit of the doubt about not finding the office unfortunately this office was located on the second floor which consisted of a hallway with a single door and nothing else it wasn't possible to get lost this reminds me of a girl I like to remember as Mugen she would just glaze over and leave her body when you delivered the most basic instructions it was not a hard job she hugged me when I fired her two weeks later man I went to school with a girl like that lights were on but nobody was home I thought people exaggerated just how dumb she could be then one day she walks into the room I'm working in we are the only people in there I'm working on rebuilding an arcade cabinet she asked what I'm working on I explained it she seems like she understands and then says so like four in a pool right I didn't quite hear her I thought so I said yeah they probably have some in a pool hall but this one's going in my basement she says no like it's four in a pool right a swimming pool yeah like underwater uh no not usually she then pressed all the buttons made beep boop sounds then wandered back out pretty sure she now lives in a penthouse apartment in another country paid for by her dad OMG we had one of those her eyes would go black like a demon when you told her or any type of instruction and then right before you were done with your sin and she'd interrupt to finish your sentence incorrectly so when you polish the glasses make sure to store them in the cooler Kat it no you put them in the glass rack right that's what I said the urge to strangle has never been so real I remember proofreading a paper for a freshman my roommate had the hots for it was on Jonathan Swift's a modest proposal somehow that freshman didn't catch that it was satire the opening lines of the paper are burned into my memory eating children would not be a good thing to do in fact we could say it would be bad I used to work with the nicest person I've ever met but he was also the dumbest even though he had been there over a year he couldn't do anything besides washing dishes without someone watching over him he just could not figure out how to do anything on his own someone usually me would have to watch over every little thing he did to make sure he was doing it right it would have been frustrating if he wasn't the nicest dang person on earth he was always so happy to see you and did everything with a smile on his face luckily he could wash dishes like a freaking beast I'm not exaggerating when I say he could wash dishes faster and cleaner than anyone I have ever met that's the reason he would do other stuff is because he washed dishes so dang fast we'd have to find other stuff for him to do his wife was normal and all his kids were doctors or engineers they were all crazy smart what was kind of sad is that he knew he wasn't the smartest but he was so dang nice I had a boss who told me that she never kept leftovers from a meal because that's how polio got started I was working in a French company we were working with a dev team in Vietnam on some IT project the project manager they report to in hid quarters is French they didn't like him and he knew it the Vietnamese team did some great job he wanted to find the correct words to congratulate them hoping to smooth the future relationship he sent this incredible thank-you email when we see the quality of your work we can only realize how sad it is that we've lost you guys as a colony the French expats in the Vietnam office told me they were hiding in shame for a full week wow that's like congratulating a black guy and saying what a shame that you can't buy him anymore a girl in an AP US history class laughed at me when I was talking about driving to Alaska from Oregon she insisted Alaska was an island because of how it has separated out on a map like this I don't know she was the dumbest person I met overall but it was certainly the dumbest thing someone insisted they were right about some girl at my school thought the same and we asked her why Hawaii was hot and Alaska was cold if they were right next to each other no kidding she said that it was because the beaches at Hawaii make it hot my sister-in-law is an anti-vaxxer and believes her kids cerebral palsy was caused by vaccines despite the kid being born with one-fourth of her brain physically missing that girl is lucky she could have been born missing her whole brain like her mother I asked a temp at work to weigh a couple of lever arch files for postage she came back and told me that they were 65 kilograms I asked if it were possible that it was six point five kilograms but she insisted it wasn't we argued about it for a good five minutes it wasn't until I asked her how much she weighed 59 kilograms that it finally twigged that these two small folders couldn't possibly weigh more than her a girl in my class in middle school genuinely thought people had landed on the Sun her explanation for this belief was to insist that the Moon and Sun are made of the same stuff a guy at a job site said this to me in all seriousness I am quoting if Hitler had put all the Jews on the Titanic he could have saved himself a lot of trouble I felt like I had a stroke also saved himself a lot of trouble is a scary mundane way to describe genocide a friend that told me that drinking protein shakes means that my muscles are all fake and fat I live in southern Spain I once met a girl from the US who was here on some kind of exchange program when I asked her how did she like Spain so far as she said I am loving it I just don't know why the plane took so long to get here I mean we are just a bit below Mexico I don't know why the flight was so long then I told her that we were in Europe and she didn't believe me her reply was Europe it can't be everyone speaks Spanish so we be somewhere near Mexico for sure she was in University I still don't know how or why hello how the Freak do you join an international exchange program without even knowing where you're going on the freaking map some people glide through life with a guardian angel preventing them from walking into traffic or something totally I remember another time when in a conversation she said it was a blessing in disguise I then told her don't you mean blessing in disguise she got visibly upset and told me that she was pretty sure that the saying was a blessing in disguise and that since English was her mother tongue she must know better sigh oh man a blessing in disguise reminds me of a story I heard recently a friend of mine once said something along the lines of to zetas own thinking she was quoting a Greek or Latin saying someone finally asked are you trying to say to each his own a girl on my sophomore year of high school who thought there were six months in a year she was really nice but very surprised and confused when we tried to set her right how did she get to high school without someone setting her straight well you see she got there in half the time he had just purchased a new high-powered BB gun we had just finished shooting it in the backyard when he points the barrel at my face and pulls the trigger several times I tell him to stop being an idiot and he just laughs and says it's not loaded then the [ __ ] puts the barrel in his mouth and pop shoots a BB right through his tongue and into his uvula edit for those asking why it shot him and not me I was sitting down so the end of the barrel was at a downward angle when genius shot himself the barrel was at an upward angle causing the last BB to roll down the back of the ammo tube and into the chamber a girl in my art class in high school thought there was just a part of the cow called meat when we explained meat is the muscles she freaked out and became vegetarian my best friends had a Foods teacher who thought the same thing so merrily you had to cook the outside of the meat because that's where the germs specifically ecoli were edit this is true please keep reading when my friend commented that parasites could be also present in the muscle tissue the teacher claimed we don't eat muscle tissue - dumbfounded to ask a counter question we will forever wonder what she thought we ate was working at a grocery store over a decade ago I wouldn't call the kid dumb because he just didn't know it's more of a funny thing he was new and the manager asked him to face the store when he asked what he could do facing means you make sure the aisles look nice and neat and that the product is pulled forward and visibly facing you as you walk down the aisle the kid couldn't be found until someone told the manager one of the workers was just standing in the parking lot facing the store I will never forget that put him in put him in charge of the orange juice concentrate just to watch his face turned purple from the effort one time my now ex-girlfriend was watching Maury Povich one of those paternity test episodes with the classic you are not the father moment and she turns to me and says if we ever have a baby and I found out I'm not the mother I'll kill you thankfully we didn't end up reproducing Oh Lord strap in this is our ride let me tell you about Sarah now Sarah was and remains to be one of the sweetest girls I've ever met she's the sort of girl who would give you the shirt off her back and not think twice the sort of woman who would allow a stranger to stay in her home without question she routinely gives money to charity and helps volunteer she really is an angel but Christ is that girl dumb when we were in high school I mentioned that I one day one in a small farm at something just big enough so I could raise chickens I've always liked chickens and you get fresh eggs too she looked at me like I had three heads and said if you want eggs you need goats the girl had made it her senior year in high school without knowing where eggs came from our class was talking about a fellow student who had been diagnosed with a very serious illness his girlfriend announced that he had realized something was wrong when he began urinating blood sara piped up with oh my god he isn't sick he just got his period I've had mine for like four years [Laughter] Sarah and I were once driving her car in the late 90s and her car battery died we were only a mile away from my house so I walked there grabbed my car and headed back I parked and lifted her hood she asked what I was doing I told her I was going to connect the jumpers because her battery had died the girl looked right at me and said my car runs on gas not batteries she legitimately had no idea that fish the food came from actual living fish she decided she wasn't going to eat meat anymore she would text me at all hours asking if the food she was about to eat was meat or not I literally had to coach this woman we were well out of high school at this point on what meat products came from what animals she still doesn't believe that tofu isn't from an animal she thought France was in Canada she thought all of South America was like North America and one single country she didn't believe that there was a North and South Pole she asked me how Plains ever got where they were going when the earth was spinning so fast and then followed up with oh I get it they just go up and sit still until the place comes to them right she thought hippos were made up like unicorns my ex-sister-in-law is hands-down the dumbest person I've ever encountered there's literally a plethora freaking insanely stupid things she said over the years but I'll use the one that almost made me slap the taste out of her mouth I had my first son back in 2001 and while I was pregnant she asked me if I was going to breastfeed to which I replied that I was she then asked even if it's a girl and I said of course she then proceeded to tell me that it's perfectly fine to breastfeed boys but doing so with girls is creepy and could make the child a lesbian because they get the feel of a breast and will remember it and want that sexually to say that I was stunned by her thought process is an understatement I asked her what she thought people did before formula was invented and she said cow's milk and before bottles were invented it was a rag soaked in cow's milk sidenote she had three daughters and wouldn't allow her husband to change their diapers or bathe them if she has girls doesn't that mean that only the man should handle the naked lest they get used to a woman's touch and let out later in life you would think so right and I asked her that and she said no because the maternal instinct cancels out any sexual desire I was working retail at the time and this lady walks in and asked me to tell her when it is a quarter after 10 a.m. she needs to catch a bus we were slow so I obliged 1015 rolls around and I tell her so she drops her stuff and runs out to get the bus five minutes later she comes back in scowling and she then lectures me on how to tell time how much is a quarter twenty five cents so why would you tell me a quarter after 10 a.m. is 10:15 a.m. it's 10:25 a.m. my coworker was feeling lethargic bloated and had stopped menstruating we told her she was probably pregnant she decided on her own that she was anemic and started eating a dozen raw eggs every day she had a full-term baby five months later a dozen raw eggs did she give birth to Gaston a co-worker of mine since an email to our company's global mailing list our company has 5000 employees the email contained a one gigabyte attachment it shut down the entire company for a day a girl at my high school didn't know you could get pregnant from literally the only substance that can make you pregnant so she learned that when she got pregnant please tell me she didn't unfortunately that's exactly what happened that was our slash ass credit and let me ask my viewers who was the dumbest person you ever met

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,227,371

Rating: 4.9319706 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, beggar, askreddit posts, funny askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit top posts, askreddit funny, askreddit question

Id: I4GBlVRJkbc

Length: 17min 42sec (1062 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 18 2019