r/Talesfromtechsupport "Install Google Bing NOW!"

welcome to our slash tales from tech support where a lady claims to be an expert in computering our first read of posts from devil oh Tex I work as an executive support technician for a large company I have a team of eight people under me and we support high-ranking executives and their administrative assistants because of the nature of our work we have the ability to quote get things done that the standard helpdesk cannot we can force upgrades that would otherwise be denied get things expedited skip the normal procedures and talk directly with the people who fix the issues while we are executive support there are still levels when the CEO is in town one of us is camped outside of wherever he might be in case there is any sort of issue for lower people we make sure things get done as quickly as possible but it's not a drop everything situation as we prep for the releases of the new iPhones we brace for the flood of I need this that inevitably happens we slot in orders immediately for the top of the pyramid guys and then work our way down replacing or sometimes having to tell them that they have to wait because the device they have is too new to warrant replacing so on Monday the executive assistant of a lower end executive put in a request to get both herself and the executive a new 250 gig iPhone X the executive was put on the approval list with a wait but the executive assistant was denied she had just been issued an iPhone 7 a few months ago and she began to raise heck about I have to support him so I need to have the exact same phone etc etc still denied on Tuesday I get a ticket from the executive assistant phone will not turn on require replacement with attach ticket for iPhone 10 request I send one of my drones out to investigate and I immediately get a text saying I have to get out there I get out there and the phone is wet not just wet but dripping wet like just pulled out of a glass of water wet with a screen that could only be called heavily cracked the executive Sisseton states I was just using it and it fell into my water bottle so we take the phone back to our area and I've called my manager over and we explained it it's obvious what has happened we've held it off and when we turn it over water drizzles out of the cracked screen well as luck would have it we have spares so I plug a nice 64 gigabyte rose-gold iPhone 6 that was returned when the previous owner - part of the company I call and have the same reprovision I reassigned the phone and AirWatch and I had the phone returned to the executive assistant 10 minutes later the executive assistant is at our door ranting and screaming saying that she can't work like this she needs a new phone and if we don't give her one executive will make us give her one I step in and tell her a permanent replacement it's just beginning the process we have had to issue this phone as a loaner so you can continue working until a permanent replacement is sourced q Wednesday the approval process has come back denied for her replacement the loaner phone is now her permanent phone this info is related to the executive assistant who is fuming lots of executive will hear about this and statement sub I can't believe this is happening to me how will I work Wednesday afternoon same executive assistant new ticket iPhone broken need replacement I hit out myself to see the issue and the new phone looks like it was dragged behind a semi-truck for a hundred miles the screen is shattered a big chunk is missing at the top near the camera and there are big dents in the back I calmly asked what happened this phone was perfect this morning the reply well since you guys gave me an old phone my case didn't fitted and it slipped out of my hands and fell down the stairs well okay could you tell me when and what stairwell this happened she does and I take the mangled phone I grab my manager and we head off to the Security office and we pull the tapes on the video we see the executive assistant walking up the stairwell concrete stairs metal handrail your typical big building non public stairwell she reaches the top and proceeds to fling the phone like one would skip a stone down from the sixth floor to the mid floor landing where it lands she steps on it and then kicks it down to the fifth floor it bangs off the metal fire door and she picks it up examines it and then tosses it down the stairs towards the fourth floor bouncing off a few steps before landing on the mid landing between five and four she picks a device up and prise a large section of something off the phone we suspect this was a chunk missing by the camera and then heads back up the stairs running the phone against a cinderblock wall as she climbs so we grab a copy of the video we head straight to HR we sit with the personnel director we show her the video we show her the two damaged iPhones we show her the tickets I relay the abuse throne to myself and my text about how she demands an iPhone X and has taken to destroying company property to get its termination follows however the user has gone home for the day her accounts are disabled her security badge flagged 7:30 a.m. today the Executive Assistant attempts to get into the building and her badge doesn't work she has to walk to the Security office the security officer takes the badge and walks her to HR 8:00 a.m. the security officer and two members of HR are escorting the executive assistant out of the building she's alternating between yelling and crying demanding that executive be called and that she's being framed as she's brought through the main foyer I'm on the second floor balcony that overlooks the entrance she looks up at me curses me and is gone both phones her laptop and other equipment have been placed with the legal team as a precaution company policy when there's a messy separation maybe I'll buy my team peds for lunch today seems like the right thing to do I can only hope and pray that this Executive Assistant God sent a bill for I don't know 1500 bucks 2,000 bucks whatever the price would have been at the time of this story for an iPhone 7 and an iPhone 6 oh that would have been sweet sweet justice our next reddit post is from deleted another tale from the out-of-hours IT desk I say hello service desk Google being isn't working is the system down it's very important it's very important I use the Bing yes the caller actually said the Bing I'm sorry [Laughter] I'm sorry can you confirm which system you're referring to as I am unfamiliar with that Google Google Bing really how could you not know this Google Bing is not a system we support out of ours nor in ours this sounds like a flash up between two different search engines what exactly is happening I need Google Bing to do my job this is unacceptable I can't find Google being anywhere on my PC how dare you remove this I need you to fix cooping immediately may i remote in to take a look I spend five minutes setting up remote connection turns out that caller had a shortcut on her desk on her desktop called Google Bing this opened the Bing Search homepage in cuckoo Chrome she shivers she'd accidentally changed the name of the shortcut from Google being to something else and hands couldn't find it okay that's been renamed now so you're good to go next time don't mess around with my come ughter I know you guys change this I'm not stupid I have a certificate of proficiency in computering okay thanks for calling click yes the caller really said computering I died a little inside after taking this call and then down in the comments the years Adamek the users that ACMA here created this certificate of proficiency in computering which recognizes outstanding computering on behalf of Opie our next read it poses from the tactical bastard little background I work IT at my college usually I work in back so I don't have to deal with people but once a week I get to grace the helpdesk my school gives its students a lot of privacy and they can decide what the school can release to other people when they come for orientation it ranges from where an open book to we can't verify the student's existence this student selected we cannot verify his existence which applies to everyone that is not an immediate family member so I me bored out of my skull watching the minutes tick by of the last five minutes of my shift ready to get dinner I get a call from someone who shall be known as Apache a very aggressive helicopter parent hence attack helicopter thank you for calling my school's IPS helpdesk how can I help you hello my name is Apache and my son goes to the school but is having trouble logging in to our online panel for students can you give me his password I'm sorry to hear you're having trouble however we don't keep students passwords on record however if he's having issues with it he can reset it online call us or come down to the building we're in to get it fixed okay can I get it reset then he really needs to get in I'm sorry but it has to be him who asked to get it reset I can't do it for anyone else but I'm his mother I can get it reset for him I'm sorry but it has to be him who comes and gets it reset it can't be anyone else even his immediate family but I'm his mother I've done everything for him I understand that but college policy states that only the student can request a password reset I'm his goddamn mother you incompetent piece of garbage give me his goddamn password at this point I know what's about to get fun I look back at my manager who is totally awesome and love stuff like this and signal her to get on the line and listen I understand your frustration however I can't go against college policy I would recommend that you call your son and tell him to call us to get his password reset no you listen to me you little turd if you don't reset my son's password right now I'm going to get you fired her son was one of the guys who lived on my floor and I knew but wasn't really friends with okay let me talk to my manager and see what I can do I go back to my manager who is already smiling about this lady and I tell her I know this guy and if it's alright to text him and let him know that his mom is on the phone asking to change his password since it's about his account she says go for it I messaged my friend yo buddy your mom is on the phone cursing me out cuz I won't change your password did you need it reset what no I know my password why is she calling you she's saying you forgot your password and is now going off the walls I put her on hold and I'm sure she's steaming at this point wait what's her name Apache well that's not even my mom it's my stepmom if you remember from the very beginning the student had selected the I don't exist to the outside world privacy package so now we could have even more fun with the attack helicopter parent I get back on the phone hello Apache yes what took you so long sorry I was just looking over some information and I don't see you in our files anywhere being related to any of our students so what I just want my son's password I'm sorry but we have parents of our students on record and you're not on any of them student is my stepson that's a son I'm sorry we can't release any information at all to anyone that's not an immediate family member he goes to the school and I'm his mother give me his password I'm sorry I cannot verify that student enrollment at our school what the f does that mean you little turd I'm going to have you fired at this point the manager is giving me that cut the call-sign so I just tell her I'm sorry I couldn't be more help thank you for calling the school have a nice rest of your day don't hang up on me you little Shh click it was now 504 4 minutes past the into my shift so I get up and leave apparently she called back five minutes later and went ballistic on one of the other nerves who works at the desk our next reddit post is from gigabyte 8 9 8 the repair company I work at is a small business and has two locations one of which is in an interesting area as such we get a lot of interesting people this guy came in yesterday hi can you show me how to access someone's text messages I found some tutorials on YouTube but they didn't work I assume he wants to back up the messages so I started walking him through how to sync up his phone no no no I want someone else's messages wait this isn't a device you own no do you have consent from the owner to read their messages no that's why I need you to show me how to see them sir if you don't have permission from the other person to read their messages it's illegal to access them I can't show you how to do that here well do you know anywhere else that can no sir I'm not aware of any other repair shop that can help you do that it's a federal crime I can pull up the relevant laws regarding unauthorized access to someone's personal devices if you'd like q the standard rant of you guys are supposed to be the experts as I stare blankly into the distance losing more faith in humanity I think the only appropriate response would have been sure one thing sir just let me call in my manager Greg raining police I think you need to send someone down here that was our slash tails from tech support and if you're watching this I've installed a virus on your device the only way to get rid of it is to subscribe to my channel so if you don't subscribe in the next 10 seconds your device will literally explode

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,347,097

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, talesfromtechsupport, r/talesfromtechsupport, tales from tech support

Id: bRR4UtpFQMI

Length: 16min 10sec (970 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 15 2019