r/Askreddit "What's the DUMBEST Thing You've EVER Heard?" (CONTAGIOUS LAUGHTER)

welcome to our slash ass credit where reddit users answered the world's most burning questions and just a quick warning a couple of these posts really hit me hard so brace yourselves for some laughter which basic knowledge did you totally forget for moments not long after my daughter was born I took her to meet up with friends I put her car seat next to another baby in the group then sitting down I asked the mom across from me how it was having twins I completely forgot that one of those babies was mine if I'm running up the stairs or down the stairs and suddenly think how am i doing this walking becomes manual for a second and I fall it turns the autopilot off like when the dentist says breathe through your nose viewers I'm so sorry but he's right I'm afraid this post has cursed you for the next time you go up or down stairs if you fall and kill yourself please don't sue me the word scissors mid surgery normally we call them myths for Metzenbaum scissors but we had a new student as the scrub tech and I went to ask for Metz asked a few times tried to remember the word scissors failed refer to them as snippy's and did a little finger scissors motion looking like an idiot in front of the doctor at least it worked and I got my scissors um I am actually a hundred percent okay with this can someone start a petition to abolish the word scissors and replace it with snippy's I forgot how to throw throw a ball I forgot how to throw a ball an embarrassing moment in my life which my brain will never allow me to forget in high school I was walking through the local fair with my then-girlfriend we come across a generic throw ball hit the stuff win things poop the prizes are irrelevant but who cares it's something fun to do so I think of the baseball and throw without a second thought except I play except I fling it full strength straight into the ground it was it was a perfect 45 degree angle throw throw into the dirt I'm like what was that must've slipped everyone laughs it off so I go to throw the second ball and the same thing happens I realized that I've completely forgotten how to throw a ball I'm releasing way too late just whipped it straight into the ground there was like there was less life less laughter this time the booth the booth guy looks confused and says don't you know how to throw a ball I swear I play catch this is insane and I immediately start to stress out of the situation the booth guy looks like he feels sorry for me and offers me a third try for free I have to retreat I don't have to win a prize I just have to throw a freaking ball to prove to everyone I know how to do it at this point again straight into the ground this time like I'm spiking a freaking football ohh I'm speechless someone from the crowd behind me says what the f is wrong with you my girlfriend not because I didn't win but because it's so embarrassing that I would even try to do this well apparently having me indescribable poor motor skills all I can do is walk away I have no idea what happened nobody believes me that I do in fact know how to throw a ball this this memory haunts me to this this memory haunts me still many years later any time my brain decides hey you remember that one time somebody asked me what day of the week it was so I learned stuff both of my hands to see which made an L I have on two occasions forgotten the word aquarium the closest I could manage was fish zoo I whispered into my wife's mouth once to be fair she kept her mouth open to listen to me spent half an hour one time trying to make my brain accept that will n't is obviously a word because how else would one contract will and not why does this look weird why does this sound weird it has to be a word and by the way let me know down in the comments if you're enjoying this ask reddit video because if you do I'll definitely make more but if you're not enjoying it I willing to make any more ask reddit videos I was ordering hot wings at a local barbecue joint I was wondering if they still came with the fibrous green vegetable but couldn't remember the name ended up describing it to the cashier and she looks at me weird and says you mean celery yes that's what I meant and if you're enjoying this video be sure to hit the button that shows that you are having fun with it I think it's called the enjoy button I was just starting a new school in ninth grade and had to write an essay about myself that the other kids in the class would read I forgot how to spell pants and wrote pants for those of you listening and not watching that spelled P a and C e pants the power in my house had gone I'm on a meter so it's a fairly common thing my phone started to die so I put it on charge then spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out why at wooden charge my attempt also included trying to Google why it would charge to no avail cuz no power so no internet it was at that point I realized all right on to the second question for this video reddit what's the stupidest thing you've heard a person say aloud in public pigs don't have blood my co-worker trying to explain his belief that pigs don't have a heart blood or veins which is why they are white meat this is actually a true fact everyone knows that pigs are composed 100% out of pork chops phones don't run on electricity they run on batteries said in that condescending uh this is so obvious voice hey kinda sounds like me as a youtuber I literally run on likes every morning I eat a big bowl of likes so please feed me hit that like button I've probably heard worse at some point but I remember sitting in a Starbucks on campus and this girl was telling this guy about a trip to Italy and at one point the guy goes so where do you want to go next and she says I've never been to Europe before so hopefully that where where are your extra medium dog sweaters what the [ __ ] is extra medium when I worked at an aquarium I overheard sorry that last one really got me I ever heard an American tourists say wow these penguins look just like birds during during World War two history class a girl actually thought the front line was a piece of rope held by the troops since when has anyone died from getting stabbed literally ever since the invention of stabbing a bit late to the party but I heard a woman explain to another woman how planes don't actually fly from America to Europe they just hang in the sky motionless while the earth moves below them until Europe appears and then they land this is actually a really good life pro tip if you want to travel east really fast all you have to do is hop and then the earth will move under your feet and then when you land you'll be farther east so you can literally hop your way from America to Europe breastfeeding is unnatural girl in my year eleven health class yeah actually this seems to check out after extensive extensive research on pornhub I have seen zero instances of breastfeeding and many many other applications my brother used to be a park ranger one time a lady asked him how long it took for a deer to become a moose he said he said about seven years what deer is evolving on the bus full of high-school students she's half asian half chinese unlike the person who said that who is half stupid half a [ __ ] I heard two girls talking about baking when one said she wanted to try baking of bread at home but she didn't know how to make the crust of the bread she also said she was thinking about baking the crust only because she liked him more than the rest of the bread she truly thought the crust was made separately chickens are not animals they [ __ ] eggs said a friend who was trying to explain how she can eat poultry and be vegan at the same time I love that logic ooh I don't eat meat that's disgusting I eat [ __ ] and this girl is the gift that just keeps on giving edit for the people who want to give her the benefit of the doubt this woman is 24 years old today and I've known her for 10 years we went to high school together I once had to convince this woman that she is in fact 22 not 21 she thought she was 21 and it took me and a team of four other people and her ID to prove to her mathematically that she is 22 years of age I love that this person has a team of people to convince this woman assemble the team today we're gonna try and convince Karen that gravity is real coworker at my old job while we were setting up for Black Friday it's pretty crazy that Black Friday actually falls on a Friday this year calendars how do they work I was in line at KFC when the guy in front of me asked how many pieces of chicken are in a 15 piece bucket hmm if only there is some clue to the answer in the name 15 piece buckets yeah and by the way in this 15 piece chicken bucket does that have chicken or pork I'm vegan but I still eat chicken and turkey so can I get the Cuban a sandwich made with pulled pork and ham made with Turkey instead of ham sure so do you want me to take the pulled pork off or make it with double turkey no leave that on me invisible confusion okay he comes back later with his lady all mad saying he wants a new sandwich because he didn't know pulled-pork was from Pei and he doesn't eat pig because he's vegan I'm also a vegan except I eat dairy products pork beef chicken fish and children of entitled parents I got 400 days absence in a year but still passed this dude is so are / I am very bad ass that he went into a time machine went back in time just so he could skip school an extra 2 months does myself count I was shopping with my spouse after our child was born we were in the baby aisle she picked up a bottle of baby oil which prompted me to ask aloud wait baby oil is actually for babies a woman who had been walking into the aisle laughed audibly and immediately walked away there is a starlet in my country who's famous I don't know for being famous I guess here are some of her best of translated I would pulled those down Church of Saint donat built in 19th century and build an older one greetings to my parents especially mom and dad I'd love to have more self-confidence in other people I am always included in mobbing I have 5 mobile phones she never ceases to amaze me I don't know why this guy is confused that she's so famous I would pay money to listen to this woman talk yo Harry Potter isn't a book it's a movie took my lovely sheltered best friend to my hometown for the first time I'm from a mountain town in Southern California and the mountains all along the drive are mostly covered in huge folders we get to my family's property which is a two acre plot with several boulders she asked my dad if it was expensive to get the decorative boulders put into the yard he tried to politely explained that they were natural but she was pretty sure the owners before us must have put them in because boulders aren't naturally occurring this woman is actually dumb as a rock ayyyy standing at the foot of the Jesus statue in Rio de Janeiro I heard an American ask his tourist guide are these mountains natural or man-made wait is this a thing do people not know that rocks a corine nature viewers who are watching this please you've got to confirm this for me people know that rocks are real right does an egg get boiled before or after it comes out of the chicken well if you boil a hint alive then I suppose it gets boiled before it comes out of the chicken right my friend has said two of the stupidest things I've ever heard we were discussing climate change solutions in class and she says can't we fill a hot air balloon with all the carbon dioxide and send it into space and regarding deforestation why don't we just clone fully grown trees earth is flat because if it would be round then it would bounce I don't understand why I need to be on time for work I feel like every choosing beggar on earth will look at this post and be like yeah I don't understand why this is funny question a recent poll shows that one fifth of Americans can't locate the US on a world map why do you think that is I personally believe that us Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here and the US should help the US and should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we are able to build up our future my Jim has just refinished the men's locker room it came out that there would only be personal showers not community once I overheard two gentlemen in their 60s to 70s this is all because of the Millennials what are Millennials younger people you know they've never been in the Army or Navy what's wrong with you Millennials you're unwilling to shower next to naked 60 or 70 year old men your generation is just spoiled that was our / ask right let me know down in the comments if you want to see more ask reddit threads in the future plus a couple of these posts really hit me hard I decided not to rerecord them and just publish them with the laughter if you hated that let me know and I will never do it again

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,014,629

Rating: 4.8475437 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, beggar, askreddit posts, funny askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit top posts, askreddit funny, askreddit question

Id: I_BDDoMy8l4

Length: 15min 11sec (911 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 26 2019