r/Talesfromtechsupport My WiFi is Low... REFILL IT!

welcome to our slash tales from tech support where people are too stupid to just turn it off and turn it back on again this story revolves around a site manager at a smaller site out of town you know the type that I'm talking about he's the king of his small hill and it is critically important that he has the latest and greatest everything including his iPhone now our company policy is that you can ask to have your company owned iPhone get replaced every two years but that's not good enough for our king of this small an Hill I need to replace my iPhone what's wrong with it nothing I just want to replace with the new model that just came out I check his recent upgrade date he just joined the company last year so of course we got him a brand new one nine months ago I'm sorry we've issued you a new phone nine months ago and we only upgrade iPhones every two years I'll send you a copy of the policy if you wish to take it up with your boss so I basically send him the employee handbook and list the page number and section of the phone policy this might have been a bad move fast-forward two weeks later I need to replace my phone and I just opened up a helpdesk ticket manager we just went over this we can't replace your phone you you don't understand it's damaged I accidentally dropped it oh well that's different the policy states that the company will replace an accidentally damaged phone one time for the employee with their regional managers approval yes and before you ask I have already talked to the regional manager and he has approved the replacement I am forwarding you his email well now that was out of him to give me everything I need abiding by the very letter of the policy awfully suspicious I document everything we buy him the new iPhone model fast forward about 45 days I need to replace my phone and I just opened up a helpdesk ticket wait what you just got a new phone yeah I know I was walking through the rain and ran through the rain coming off the building in buckets and got the phone wet I come to find out for the second breakage of an iPhone the employee is required to one pay for half of the iPhone replacement cost that's like 500 bucks out of his own pocket and two had insurance to their phone that they reimburse the company for every month in the event of it happening a third time there will at least be insurance on the phone to handle the issue he hit the roof when corporate HR called him directly with the news and set up his paycheck withdrawal that was about two years ago and he's never broken one or asked for a replacement yet clearly this guy read enough of the employee handbook to figure out how to get his first free replacement phone but didn't bother to read what happened after the second replacement our next reddit post is from Holton Berg oh geez user comes into my office complaining of a real slow machine Chrome is slow word is slow everything is slow and the computer is pretty hot I was finishing up a draft of something real quick I don't remember what could you save and close everything down and restart the computer for me please of course sure not even a minute later she had closed everything and restarted the machine and hands me the machine the research of the machine went surprisingly quick considering that the user was here for a slow machine the user proceeds to give the machine to me did you restart the machine yes I found it odd so I decided to check the process monitor and oh god I lost count of how many Chrome's I saw how many Winward Exe and everything else I saw CPU a hundred percent Ram a hundred percent just a curious question how do you restart the computer normally I close the lid and open it again and then I come to the login screen I try to show her the right way to restart the computer but it wouldn't even turn off for over five minutes I ended up for shutting down the computer but explained that it's the wrong way to reboot the computer and why I had to do it during reboot I get a CPU fan error the poor guy had worked so hard it had died I guess because she never rebooted the machine she'd never gotten the CPU fan error the user later tells me that she's had this machine two years and never intentionally rebooted the machine the way I showed her only close and open the lid after a new fan is installed in a fresh installation I could almost hear the machine thanking me the computer must have restarted itself at least once right are dead sheep continuously postponed every cry for help what do you think rest in peace unknown fan you did your best live your best life in the recycling center hearts that computer is like please let me die our next reddit post is from Just My Luck so this was a while back before Google Fiber I work at a small tech support firm doing mainly remote assistance one day we get a ticket from a lady that said her internet wasn't working I give her a call while doing the regular this is Opie from tech company I pull up our software and it does show that she's offline I asked her what's going on and she explains that she can't get on the Internet at all and she can't figure out why this conversation ensues so about how long ago to this problem start about three days ago me thinking her router or modem must have been reset somehow do you know if you've had any power outages or power surges lately no nothing like that I then spend a few minutes walking her through looking for available networks but fine none okay go ahead and take a look at your router for me what's a router okay admittedly I should have expected that and phrased it differently it would be a little box that has blinking lights on it the company that you get your internet through might have set it up for you oh that thing yeah I got rid of that and the other thing it was connected to me not believing anyone was this stupid oh did you get a new one or replace it no I just didn't need them anymore why because I stopped paying the internet company I sigh and about how long ago did you get rid of the boxes about three days ago I then explained to her that she's not going to be able to get in any internet if she doesn't pay anyone for Internet she then tried to explain to me that she was getting internet for free through Google I tried to reason with her that Google doesn't provide internet because at the time they didn't she insisted that they did and just getting more and more frustrated until she said that she was gonna call another company to come look at her computer she also said that she was going to call us and tell us that we were wrong when they got it working we never heard from her again come on lady this is Internet 1:01 everyone knows you can't have internet without those blinky books I work in a moderately sized company where we have both internal employees and contractors at client sites my job is about what you'd expect fix issues as they come in image and set up machines and deal with standard BS mixed in I've been there for a few years now and have some great stories this one comes from the beginning of the year when a new user thought he could game the system for a better machine we are about a 50/50 split in PC and Mac books the machines that each user gets are very similar in specs the determination of what machine they get is based on the client in their position of course PC users who don't like PC will do what they can to get a MacBook only to get denied we also get MacBook users who want upgrades to a newer system citing slow systems and needing the latest and greatest to get their work done that magically gets done anyways that brings us to the user at the center of my story today this happened just after Apple released the latest MacBook Pros with the atrocious touch bar and butterfly keyboard that I loathe naturally we get a dozen or so requests the next day all of which are marked with the same response request denied your machine is within our lifespan and still under warranty both PC and Macs have a four-year lifespan when the lifespan expires we upgrade as inventory allows naturally we get a few users who show up and try to plead their case in person and I turn them away then I get our specific users who won't take no for an answer we'll call him Mike Mike is a diva Mike will always go to bat for himself prop himself up and complain every step of the way he's a good developer but he's not as good as he says according to the guys who work with him for some reason Mike looked just that touch bar MacBook and determined he had to have it Mike puts in a ticket like everyone else going on and on about how the touch bar functionality is suddenly vital to his job spoiler it isn't and he should be able to order one request denied your machine is within our lifespan and still under warranty copy/paste close Mike was in my office within 10 minutes Oh pee why did you reject my ticket because your machine is only two years old you don't need a new one but my machine has been really slow the last month and I think I should get an upgrade where's your ticket for the slow system I'm too busy to deal with your ticketing system then I can't help you if I don't know there's a problem Mike stormed out of the office after more whining I wasn't stupid though he wasn't going to give up I went ahead and reopened his request ticket and updated it with our conversation in my office cover your butt's everyone a week later a ticket comes in MacBook has a broken screen yep it was Mike Mike included a picture of the broken screen and the ticket to help me out of course sure enough half the screen was unusable before I can even reach out to him he's in my office with the MacBook he's doing his best to look upset so how'd it break Mike I'm not sure I walked away for a little bit to use the bathroom came back and it was broken screens don't just blow up like this Mike something had to have happened I don't know what happened Oh pee it wasn't my Hill to die on just yet but I told him to give me a bit to see what our Apple Care coverage included he disappeared as I pulled it up confirming that we got a discount on accidental damage but it wasn't fully covered just about everything else was a quick call to Apple Enterprise Support confirmed it wasn't going to be cheap to replace somewhere around 700 bucks with our discount I go to my boss and tell him the whole situation of course I can't prove he was the one who broke the screen and he's going to at least need a loaner before we decide what to do my boss says what do we have in inventory we're pretty tight right now just a couple available we have a pending quote for a restock with the new models do we have any other machines before I answered it dawned on me we still had older Mac books you know the really fat ones with the disk drive still in them the ones that at this point we're about six years old and we kept for emergencies boss had this same idea and we both shared a laugh go get one of the fat Macs image that and don't tell them it's just a loaner let's let him wet my came back not long after and I told them we were still deciding what to do about his machine but that I would at least get him a loaner for the time being Mike somehow twisted this around into hearing that he was getting a new machine okay when you order a new one I need more than 16 gigs of memory I need 32 gigs and a stronger processor oh and a one terabyte SSD thanks Opie before I could even break the news to him he was gone oh hell no you did not just do that I took great pride in imaging that fat MacBook I got everything ready for it and message him the tool owner was ready for pickup he came upstairs and almost fainted when he saw his temporary machine I can't use this yes you can log in this machine is so old but it has a fresh image on it so it should run faster than your other machine right after going through his setup he stormed out of the office it wasn't long before his boss showed up wanting to know what the hell was going on after a quick explanation and showing him the broken MacBook he just sighed and shrugged he asked if we were going to give him a new machine I told him he wasn't getting rewarded for breaking a company asset but I get a replacement that match the one he broke his boss agreed and let it die Apple got the repair done pretty fast and I messaged Mike to come pick it up he was in my office so fast ready to throw that fat macbook out the window much to his disappointment and my delight he saw his old machine ready to go with a brand-new screen but that's my old machine yes Apple got the repair done pretty fast all your data was saved so you can do a quick swap but that's not what I requested and your request was denied that didn't change Mike took the Machine and left I wiped the old machine and tucked it away a couple of weeks later we got a shipment of the new MacBooks in but didn't tell anyone about it around that time a ticket came in for new users to join the same team Mike was on I made sure those new users got to shiny new MacBooks because I'm that petty after they went through their setup they made their way to the area they worked a few minutes later a it came in yes it was from Mike new employees have updated MacBooks on our team I feel I should have one as well as is senior employee I shrugged request tonight your machine is within our lifespan and still under warranty copy/paste close then we have a similar story from super spud monkey down in the comments I had a user who purposely damaged his machine to get a new one I gave him an older unit he did the same thing and I gave him an even older unit he didn't asked why he wasn't getting a new unit my reply you can't be trusted with the new laptop from your track record of breaking laptops he stopped breakin laptops after that and fear he would get an older unit it wasn't that much longer after that that his employment was terminated our next reddit post is from the Lightning count I got a call from an older user today who just had a complete lack of knowledge with how things worked this is a short one as I'm just transcribing the call hello this is Opie with IT hello my Wi-Fi is low and I was wondering how to fill it up about 45 seconds of silence I'm sorry what do you need assistance with again my PC says my Wi-Fi is low can you refill it can you um can you just read the error message off for me one second let me see if I can oh it says Citrix has detected low connectivity which can affect your performance ah that means your connection to the Internet is either interrupted or of low quality yeah and I'm on that Wi-Fi stuff if it's low I should just refill it sir that's um that's not how it works so what do I do log out of Citrix and then restart your PC go to your modem slash router and unplug them wait 10 seconds and plug them back in then once your network reinitialize is log back into Citrix and that will work if that doesn't work you'll need to call your ISP your internet service provider and ask them to refill the Wi-Fi yes ask them and they can let you know what needs to be done alright thanks for the info I hung up wondering just how that poor level 1 tech will respond to the question how to refill the wife alternatively he could just go to his neighbor's house knock on the door and say excuse me sir but I seem to be out of Wi-Fi could I borrow a fresh cup of Wi-Fi from you that was our slash tales from tech support and if you like this video then hit that subscribe button because I put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: undefined

Views: 1,077,944

Rating: 4.9236493 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, talesfromtechsupport, r/talesfromtechsupport, tales from tech support

Id: Jc4hTdnl5jo

Length: 15min 39sec (939 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 09 2020