r/Askreddit What's It Like to Be Married to a Karen?

welcome to our slash ask reddit where you just answer the question redditors who are married to karen's what's it like our first replies from panda panda yeah yeah divorced karen haven't had to see a manager since aria c replies my mom is a literal karen as in it's her name but she's like a bizarro karen she will constantly ask to speak with managers and supervisors and bosses but when said managers arrive she unloads about how the employee helping her out was fantastic hard working and friendly and then she'll spend 20 minutes trying to figure out if she and the manager know someone in common nine times out of ten they do as a kid it would embarrass me as an adult it's one of my favorite things about her she makes people feel good about the work they do and it's really special to watch how wonderful she makes people feel is this user's mom a new breed of karen the caring karen the thug muffin replies not married to a karen but married someone with a karen for a sister my sister-in-law is the freaking worst i hate more than anything going to dinner with her listening to her order food and talk to the servers holidays are also terrible she sends out long lists of expected gifts she celebrates every holiday and birthday specifically for presents even when it's not appropriate funny thing is one time i was away from the dinner table when the bill came and sister-in-law waited for me to return to pay the bill by actually handing it to me she didn't give it to her sibling or pay her half but expressly handed it to me to pay by the way her husband is an idiot and they're a match made in heaven and then by comparison responds to that post my sister and sister-in-law are both karen's i'll show up to restaurants 15 minutes early to warn them i tell them if it's not done to their liking they will hear about it and they will make their shift hell i'm just there as a warning i used to work in restaurants and those people made my life hell i do what i can to help generally my drinks are better and we get a free appetizer as soon as those two tornadoes walk in and all hell breaks loose not enough ice table is too cold it's too loud etc i also tip really big because i don't want to be associated with the two tornadoes i live overseas so i only see them two weeks out of the year so it's manageable our next reply is from fococello my sister is a karen everyone feels so sorry for her husband everything is his fault he's treated like a slave she only addresses him by yelling she constantly insults him we have no idea why he hasn't divorced her or flipped out and attacked her we've all told her to cool it and her response is that he's just so stupid i could go on and on but my sister really is a horrible person and then tapcat makes this interesting reply to that post unfortunately you may have to come to the realization that he's into fem dom and your sister can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch lost newman replies i knew a couple with the karen she blamed him for everything the husband was in our opinion something of a saint once she broke a glass in the kitchen came and sat back down at the table and said that was your fault we all just stared at her she looked sheepish and said i knew that one probably wouldn't work they're divorced now i guess even saneliness has its limits and now for the you can't make this up zinger her first name is really and truly karen taryn34 replies my husband's ex is karen she's a classic narcissist when one of our feral hens started acting aggressive towards the other hands my stepson named her karen so that would make her a care hen toasty toast replies not married to one but my aunt is my uncle is his soft-spoken giant he never stands up to her in any way except once at their daughter's wedding she was about to interrupt the ceremony to close a window because she was chilly everyone sitting close to her could whisper i'm going to do it but i don't want to be a butthole my uncle in a calm quiet tone says quickly why stop now almost as if his filter just missed this one i swear i could hear my dad snort two rows back trying to hold in laughter karen was not happy the turtle moves replies my mom's a karen she's self-aware she's a karen my siblings and i sent her memes about it when my stepdad divorced her last summer we were all amazed he lasted 17 years to be honest none of us like going out with her it's terrible and my husband just straight up tells her no you are not talking to the manager when we go into a place i'll tell you guys a story my stepdad told us they're farmers and own a small beef and bee farm they have a store they go to for bee supplies the owner called my stepdad and asked him to please be the one to pick up the stuff because his staff was tired of dealing with my mom he's the only one who went to the store for the next five years wait so your mom has a beef and beef farm does that mean that this karen's house is literally the land of milk and honey moonbeam replies my mom is a karen she thinks the world is supposed to cater to her serve her and everyone else is wrong once we went to carl's jr and she ordered four burgers for the four of us she pulls one out of the bag while the guy is getting our drink and hides it she complains that he forgot a burger she pulls them out one by one and counts it in front of him it's obviously missing because she hit it and he's swearing up and down he put them all in the bag i'm stunned speechless and it happened so fast she got a free burger and laughed as we drive off i'm just staring at her and she opens it up and eats it on the drive home and she ate her actual burger like the fifth one never existed i can't even explain how she is when she's in the hospital she treats it like a luxury stay in a hotel opie i don't think your mom is just a karen she's a standard run-of-the-mill scam artist thief a long string of random characters replies i knew from the beginning there would be difficulties but i loved her and made the leap to make her my forever partner yes her attitude towards certain people and things confused me at times but by keeping an open mind and accepting her for who she was everything's worked out well we've been married for 10 years we have a darling daughter and i've even come to love my wife's kimchi fried rice and pme your unicorns replies to that comment it's karen not korean legas daddy replies i taught my nephews ages 9 and 11 about karen's last year when they stayed for us a week after school let out after describing traits and observing them in the wild they asked somewhere around day two is our mama karen my reply your words not mine throwaway replies not married 4 years of a toxic relationship though i broke up with her on monday again we're kind of screwed financially because of this lockdown so we're just feeling things out for a month before we decide for sure this cycle's on repeat i constantly have to cut her off and speak over her because of the way she treats people waiters sales assistants gym staff neighbors landlords randoms we meet in bars etc note we were both waiters at the beginning of our relationship so has worked in the industry but still lacks empathy she blames the waiter if something is out of stock etc my second major issue were both english as a second language teachers she teaches kindergarten while i teach high school now that we're working from home i hear how she speaks to her students and it's really opened up another aspect of her personality that i don't like she'll berate a student for not understanding instead of evaluating her own ability to explain dumping on three-year-olds in their second language doesn't fly with me a lot of her behavior stems from a self-defense mechanism due to insecurity but that's not an excuse she doesn't realize how mean she is to people including myself i'm a people pleaser that would rather sacrifice my own comfort than someone else's she expects me to be a butthole to people because i'm kind of a big guy with tattoos i don't exactly look soft it's toxic as hell please help p.s the passionate hugging is so good it rivals most porn easily well there we have it now we know why all these cairns keep reproducing and why they all have husbands because apparently karen's are beasts in the bedroom and too many tab opens replies to that post i can relate to that my ex-wife could be a karen and this was one of her triggers what made it worse is that usually it would stem from the simplest of things all the usual suspects that made people insecure like obvious rejections insults and failures she manages like a normal person but she would find those things in almost any situation an example would be she missed her train home and called me if i could pick her up from the next town over rather than wait for the next rain a whole 20 minutes when i got there she was waiting on the side of the road and i couldn't park properly so i blocked the road and waited for her she just stood there when i asked what the problem was she complained a gentleman would open the door once in the car she then complained that i took ages and why can't i greet her lovingly i didn't really care by then but not once did she even thank me i would have just preferred she didn't default berate me after many situations like that i realized everything i was putting in the relationship would come back as punishment anyway ex-wife now i don't regret marrying her i do regret staying with her longer than i should that's the only advice i could give emerald sparrow replies not married but dated a male karen for eight years he was a semi-successful business owner who was twice my age and i was young and dumb for lack of a better word the gist of our relationship was him trying to take over every part of my life for instance he would order for me at restaurants and would dissuade me if i wanted to try something new if i had a problem with something it would be brushed off but if he had a problem then he would talk to a manager not knowing any better i just thought he was very particular and even started copying some of his tendencies like speaking up when i felt i wasn't getting the right service when i was out on my own i realized who he was when we were flying back from vegas and our luggage was heavier than when we flew in obviously we bought extra things which made up for the weight difference so as he demanded to know an explanation from the check-in clerk as to why if it was the same luggage would it somehow weigh more i innocently answered that it must have been the extra shoes and clothes he was quiet and paid up later he told me not to do that again as he knew the reason why the luggage was heavier he was just trying to get away with not paying at that moment a bulb went off in my head this man who'd spent fifteen hundred dollars on a stripper for his friend was making an already stressful job more stressful for the clerk in order to avoid paying 60 bucks we broke up soon after and i checked myself on the caring tendencies he dropped off on me our next ask radio question is what was the most effed up thing you saw in school our first response is from violet waves a kid jumped over the balcony to try to beat the rush on mashed potato day he broke both his legs didn't get his potatoes and probably profanity replies to that took me too long to realize mashed potato day is probably just the day your cafeteria serves mashed potatoes and not some kind of big yearly mashed potato event at your school our next reply is from tx a couple passionately hugging in the dumpster behind the cafeteria for the rest of the year people would walk up behind the dude crinkling paper and asking if it was getting him hard wait the dumpster behind the cafeteria as in the dumpster where they would throw away all the uneaten food vic the maddest wife replies a kid in my school year stabbed one of my friends in the back not verbally i mean with an actual kitchen knife we were 11. we were in the uk and it's 31 years ago in a place called peterborough i've tried finding it online but there aren't any online articles about it i asked my mom and she's a hoarder and she might have a copy of it from the paper as it made national headlines he was stabbed in the back and it narrowly missed his spine he was in the hospital for a week and needed surgery to remove the blade and then went home with no side effects physically except the scar which was pretty impressive obviously psychologically was a different kettle of fish the boy that stabbed him wasn't one of his friends but wasn't an enemy either he had gone around that morning saying that he was going to stab someone but no one took him seriously he was sitting at the desk behind my friend and leaned forward and stabbed him he was expelled but at that time i believed the law was that he was considered a child and therefore couldn't be prosecuted knife crime wasn't really a thing here in the uk at the time so sweetie what'd you do in school today i stopped a kid 3 700 replies in first grade a boy pulled his pants and underwear to below his knees and laid down on his back then a girl spat on him i don't remember why but i will never forget that sight our next reply is from ally cracker our school bully a nasty piece of work we'll call c ripped the wig off of a new student a who had recently returned from cancer treatment they got into it and a was suspended despite multiple witnesses we suspect even the teachers were slightly scared of c next day as we were leaving a was waiting outside for the doors to open comes straight in grabs c's hair slams her head into a locker and then proceeds to pull out a huge pair of scissors and violently chops off as much hair as she can before the teachers intervene she was obviously expelled but man she's still my hero bully c was definitely put in her place after that and absolutely toned down her torment of everyone else wish i knew what became of a and then op posted an update onto the bully so there's a reason i couldn't pull up any current info on her and as i suspected she did pass away in 2003. this isn't cause for celebration as from what i gleaned from old friends it was a suspected drug overdose our next reply is from bubba i had a friend that was allergic to so many things he had to eat the same thing every day that he brought from home i literally mean every day for years he had a very bad day failed a test and some things happened at home we met up at lunch and he had two slices of pepperoni pizza he said today seems like a good day to die and proceeded to wolf down both slices i had never seen him so happy i walked him to the nurse's office as he ballooned up he was hospitalized for two weeks he never regretted the decision well i think of all the ways to die death by pizza is a pretty good way to go our next replies from lol some kid kept taking a dump in the sink every week and they had to keep cleaning it up one day i walked in the bathroom and someone had smeared it on the wall and then junior mcgarry replies to that comment had some girls in my high school who were creating works of art in the same fashion they were deemed the fecal phantoms and were never caught our next reply is from chef shipwreck a kid clipped the tip of his tongue off with a pair of safety scissors after someone dared him to and then hopeless replies one of my brother's friends cut the very tip of his nose off cause someone dared him to our next reply is from bujo momo i worked at an american school in china a while back one day one of the school buses was on the way to campus from the city and there was an accident that students saw a truck ran over a man riding his bicycle the students on the bus witnessed the accident and watches the man lay dying on the road they were stuck in traffic and couldn't get away from the horrific scene for over 20 minutes kids were crying and traumatized most of them were elementary school students there was a lot of group counseling in the months after that our next reply is from fungustaint this girl in my sophomore year sent nudes to an english teacher when he rejected her advances she reported him for possession of pictures that i can't say the type of on youtube he lost his job his teaching license and nearly faced jail time he was a pretty chill dude too and was well liked by the student body goes without saying the girl received a ton of death threats and ended up dropping out now before you say it wasn't the teacher's fault because it wasn't his fault that she sent the nudes remember that the police would have never found those nudes if he had just deleted them from his phone our next reply is from the third strike i watched two girls get into a fight one girl had a bunch of ear piercings and was wearing so many hoops it looked like chain mail the other girl got her on the ground grabbed those hoops and pulled hard i will never forget the scream the rings didn't give but her ear sure as hell did blood everywhere the girl standing over her like a freaking psychopath holding a very recognizable ear in the air above her head it was effing mortal combat in real life our next reply is from donut shops many years ago i sat next to a kid in high school who went on to kill his mom he would always bring in photos of homemade bombs from 2-liter bottles flame throwers from squirt guns etc i thought it was the coolest thing and was so impressed by it until later on when i realized i was encouraging a 2b murderer to keep being violent [Laughter] our next reply is from stanley steemer someone had taken a massive dump it was larger than a coffee cup in width and considerably longer so large it was impossible to flush people were lined up in the halls to see this monstrosity including faculty you know it's a small town when a turd calls that much attention our next reply is from quarkus machoxy a giant hawk swooped down on campus and sunk its talons into the back of a squirrel foraging for acorns about 20 or 25 yards from me scared the bejesus out of me he stood on it like a boss for a few seconds and then flew off with it this was at like 7 30 in the morning so it took me a while to wrap my brain around it the guy walking in front of me spun around and said please tell me you saw that that was r askreddit and if you liked this video then hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

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Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, askreddit posts, funny askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit top posts, askreddit funny, askreddit question

Id: aHbIVjAgAeY

Length: 19min 11sec (1151 seconds)

Published: Sun May 10 2020