r/Askreddit - Surgeons, What are the Best Things People Have Said Under the Gas?

welcome to our /s credit where people answer the question Anesthesiologists what are the best things people have said under the gas two of my favorite both patients coming out of anesthesia am i in heck I responded no you're not you're just in recovery that sounds like something that devil would say count backwards from 100 to prove it or the one who stroked my unshaved arm while i was trying to keep him from pulling at his IV and muttered you'd make such a great carpet when I got put under for a colonoscopy I didn't really fall asleep during the countdown I just looked at the nurse a bit confused and said umm I don't notice anything and she smiled and squeezed my wrist and said just give it a moment as soon as she said that I started fading out and according to her the last thing I mumbled was oh that's messed up you magic which I had to go under for surgery once I thought it'd be funny if I asked does anyone need anything while I'm out right before I went under I remember it kicking in way quicker than I thought it would so I had to take my chance while I still had it I yelled it but got a very confused look from everyone standing around me took a minute for me to realize I had accidentally yelled it while I was waking up from surgery whoops my husband went under last year and once he woke up by appearances he was as sober as a church mouse walking asking serious questions of the doctor apparently no issues at all he remembered the procedure and described it to me in detail I figured he just never went completely under he was craving Chinese food and nothing would do except for a buffet so we headed down and loaded up our first load of plates evidently he actually woke up from the anesthesia at the buffet as far as he remembers he was put under and woke up in front of a plate of chicken teriyaki on a stick I had a similar incident with a concussion 14 year old trying to impress friends at summer camp on the first day I jumped over a picnic bench and cleared it easily I didn't see that there was a rock the size of two fists where I landed ended up tripping over that and slammed my head on the dirt got up immediately played it off like nothing happened since I landed on dirt I didn't have too bad of a scrape ended up chatting with everyone jump the picnic bench again since I was mad at what happened walked a girl to her cabin and told her I liked her walk to my cabin and grab my toiletries went to the bathroom and took a shower this is when I woke up had everything explained to me after all so I showered with my shirt and socks on forgot those nurse anesthetists here when I was in school I was getting ready to get a lady off to sleep and going through my regular spiel I had the mask on her face and I said nice big breaths as I push propofol right before she went out she said thanks I just had them done I looked at my preceptor we looked at the circulator and we all burst out laughing I now say slow deep breaths instead I love telling that story that lady made all our days last year they were knocking me up for a colonoscopy it was the third time I'd been put under in a year as such I had a curiosity I'd heard that when they knock you out you're still awake for a while you just don't remember so in the spirit of science I proposed a test with the anesthesiologist when she started the medicine I would begin counting backwards when I would wake up we would compare what I remembered to what she observed plunger down 99 98 97 I remembered nothing more minutes later I awoke the anesthesiologist spied me and came over quickly what do you remember she asked 97 she began laughing you got down to seven I was having a broken wrist set and the doctor told me to count from a hundred he told me afterward that I got 250 stopped for about five minutes started back up again and finished my dad works with that stuff funniest thing he's heard is hey mister doctor my butt itches and I'm too high to scratch my wife is an anesthesiologist and her best line from a patient is this is better than meth when I was nine and having jaw surgery the surgeon was putting me under and said say bye to your mommy and apparently nine year old me thought that meant they were going to kill me my mother says I gave her a look of absolute terror and then passed out in high school I had a reconstructive surgery on my knee as I tore my ACL and meniscus in a sports injury after the surgery I woke up and post-op which was a fairly large room with probably six to seven other patients in beds waiting to become conscious again I was lying there all groggy and confused when two nurses walked over pushing one of those carts with a computer on it they stood over me and were typing into the computer when one nurse said to the other in a sort of frantic whisper we've got to plug this thing in or this one is gonna die naturally semi-conscious me thought that the thing was me and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to unplug whatever they needed to in order to find an outlet to keep me alive turns out it was the battery on the laptop that was going to die apparently the death rate for an ACL repair is pretty low not an anesthesiologist but when I went in from my gallbladder surgery the nurse was an old co-worker and I blurted it out on the table I knew you'd see me naked before I was out I broke my hand tumbling once and had to get surgery he goes to put the mask on my face and says this is oxygen I cough as the mask goes on he pulls the mask away and I said I trusted you you lying F that's the last thing I remember I have a few my first is a 17 year old that just got her appendix out she seemed really stoic and introverted when I first interviewed her but when I was dropping her in the recovery room she went into total bro mode she kept saying everything was effing lit she keeps saying let's party bro and responded to every question with a F yeah dude my favorite though was a surgery on a lady in her 80s she volunteered at the hospital and was a widow in the recovery room I started hooking up or ECG this involves attaching some cables to stickers up on her chest when I reach for them she tried to just pull her gown down and show me her breasts I said no you don't need to do that she just said this is so exciting it's been a while since I've been with a man the nurse just started laughing and I got a little rid she then said it's sure getting hot in here sorry it's been a while I had to leave after that I was way too uncomfortable I am a CNA female in my 50s I was assisting a lady in her 90s who needed two people to help her up my co-worker was a very young and easily embarrassed dude in reaching for the gate belt I pinched this poor woman's nipple and she yelped I apologize profusely that's okay it's not like they haven't been pinched before she replied happily and my co-worker almost fainted in horror I had my wisdom teeth out and supposedly still bleeding a good amount on the way to CVS to pick up the meds my mom was driving and I was just staring out the window collecting blood in my mouth eventually it reached a point it was too much at a red light rolled down the window and just let it all flow out of my mouth I look up and this lady is looking at me I look up and this lady is looking at me would just pure horror on her face I proceeded while still inside I proceeded while still in some sort of haze from the drugs to give her what I can imagine the bloodiest smile anyone has ever seen she wasn't originally turning right but proceeded to make an immediate turn I am so glad I can remember this while still being high that reminds me of when my boyfriend got his wisdom teeth out he took a long time to come back around we went to the pharmacy to pick up his meds and he demanded he'd be allowed to come inside instead of wait in the car I reluctantly obliged because I was nervous about about what he do if I left him alone and every stranger we came into contact with he gave the bloodiest smile literal blood dripping out onto his shirt saying I just got my wisdom teeth out most customers were not amused when I was waking up from shoulder surgery on a pretty substantial dose of fentanyl my wife told me that I looked at the hidden earth and said your boobs are spectacular I want to see them I have no memory of it but apparently my wife was mortified and the nurse thought it was hysterical she also said it wasn't particularly unusual to get comments of that sort when I was put under for Achilles tendon surgery when I was 16 I asked the anesthesiologist how long he had to go to med school and he responded with all day not anesthesia but patient was heavily sedated in ICU the nurse gave an enema the half conscious response honey you know I don't like it that way I have a similar story colonoscopy very prim and proper lady under sedation as the scope was introduced she exclaimed oh darling you said you wouldn't do that anymore too many to count during my 15 years of practice that's some good she falling asleep mid-sentence I want to have your baby's a 55 year old woman - my medical student you're really gonna shove that whole thing up my butt - the endoscopist right before a colonoscopy big or small I love them all 90 year old woman talking to nurses about men so I need to take my underwear off teenager about to go into labor I'm not sure how this happened another pregnant teenager I don't want you to be too surprised by my tattoo a conservative looking asian man with a Pinocchio tattoo around his member and the member is the nose where did all the American doctors go guy covered with swastikas - a room filled with Asian doctors and nurses I was given our relaxer prior to colonoscopy and was rolled into the room the doctor asked me what I'd done that weekend I said I went to the Minnesota State Fair oh she says eat anything interesting I said what why don't you tell me no laughter whatever in the room and then I was out I swear she gave an extra shovel cup during the procedure and remember groaning non anesthesiologist but was a tech had a patient wake up violently when he came to he said sorry I thought I was a shark my anesthesiologist tried to calm me down with a joke when I was a little kid being put under my mom later told me about how I apparently commented on the joke being not at all funny and how I hoped he was more talented as a doctor mine kept telling dad jokes and I apparently said thank God I'm going to be unconscious soon as a critique of his jokes I was coming out of general anesthesia after a surgery to repair a broken leg I woke up in my room with about a dozen very caring kind friends and relatives who had all come to see that I was okay I looked around saw everyone caring about me and said eff this loudly and very clearly and went right back to sleep my friends thought it was hilarious my mom was mortified similar story I was coming out of general anesthesia for an emergency appendectomy woke up my family was all in the room I remember feeling warm fuzzies that they were so concerned for me and thought I'd just doze back off turns out I woke up surveyed the room locked eyes with my mom and said I told you I didn't just had menstrual cramps then passed back out with a smug look on my face I like that in your highest moment your basic instinct was to rub it in your mother's face that she was wrong I was about to be put under for a colonoscopy while the nurse was trying to position me in a way to make it easiest for them to work I had my knees to my chest and was passing out I had my knees to my chest and was passing out from the gas when I asked the nurse to paint me like one of her French girls then passed out still makes me cringe might be laid but I have a story I got my wisdom teeth removed at 16 I grew up in a small remote white Canadian town we had to travel to a slightly larger slightly less remote town to visit the hospital therefore the procedure the new anesthesiologist there was a very nice Chinese doctor whose family had just moved up from the city now and this is important later I had just returned from a year away I spent a year of high school as an exchange student in Taiwan and had only gotten back a few weeks earlier procedure happens nothing major goes wrong and I come to in a hospital room in a fair bit of pain but mostly fine my dad had driven me to the hospital and came in to see me and get me up to take me home the minute he saw me he burst into a laughing fit and I could tell from his face that he'd been laughing about as hard as anyone could laugh once he finally found his composure he explained to me what had happened the anesthesiologist and a nurse came out into the waiting room after I was put under and apparently were white as ghosts my dad asked if anything was wrong and eventually the anesthesiologist still in a daze explained to my dad that after he administered the anesthesia but before I was fully out of it I began speaking to him in fluent Mandarin and that he thought maybe he needed to call someone to ask how it's possible that this redneck white teenager could suddenly gain the ability to speak Chinese under anesthesia needless to say my dad thought this was hilarious and explained to the doctors relieved that the white kid did already know how to speak Mandarin and that he hadn't damaged my brain somehow that was our /s credit and this is our slash puppy bloopers anesthesiologists anesthesiologists talk more it's hard to say do you mind anesthesiology anesthesiologists what are the best things people at dogs not making me say that word / anesthesiologist what are the [Music] Fuj nope two of my favorite both paid two of my favorite both patients coming to of my foot come on man am i in heck starting to feel like I'm in hell come on dog I responded dog dog that sounds like some punch or the one dog or the one who stroked please please dog my husband my husband went under Lester he he remember the procedure and described it to me in detail he remembered and I started and I started to incoherently yell for that you know give it to me apparently the death rate for an ACL repair and I started to incoherently yell for the nurses to [Music] and I started to incoherently yell when I went in for my gallbladder surgery the nurse wasn't old but when I went in for my gallbladder surgery dog but when I went in for Mike but when I went in for my but when I was what do you want from me what do you want from me huh

Channel: rSlash

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Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, askreddit posts, funny askreddit, ask reddit, askreddit, r/askreddit, askreddit top posts, askreddit funny, askreddit question, surgeons, anesthesiologists

Id: HY3vPfH8LMU

Length: 17min 44sec (1064 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 09 2019