r/Arethestraightsok | this aged well.

it's gay as frick for a man to take a nap oh my okay nah i'm sorry i didn't know as a man i'm not allowed to sleep i imagine her dream partner is a man who's just constantly eyes wide open while she's asleep next to him a good day to you thing that is existing for the purpose of watching today's video my name is jack your favorite little apparition that tells you to do things do it hurts them it'll be fun a little blood never hurt anyone and today she'll be an explorative expose upon the uh people who have pee-pees that like tartars and vice versa that seem to just really make us concerned for their own mental health welcome to asklash are the straights okay dldr at the end you are a freaking idiot hahaha i'm so funny all republicans are homophobes hahahahaha if you want us to respect your opinion you gotta respect house stating you don't like gay people isn't homophobic okay okay look i am i'm gonna do my best here to interpret where they're trying to come from with this homophobia i mean i mean opinion no no it's an opinion it's not homophobia it's an opinion yes yes when they're talking about gay people i'm going to assume they're referring to the very flamboyant and extravagantly extroverted flamboyant gay men out there but even with this really really desperate attempt to try and find the understandable reasoning behind their argument here you're still completely wrong to say that you don't like gay people because it's not about them being gay that you don't like it's just their vibe as a personality i guess like girls who aren't attracted to big muscly men because they're all douchey holes like it doesn't mean you aren't attracted to muscular men it just means you aren't attracted to men who are a-holes i mean that's just that is a really desperate attempt to finally even ground with where they're coming from with this argument about not respecting or liking gay people without being homophobic but it's still it doesn't i'm trying i'm really trying man here's a president being reasonable on twitter that's wow what a weird world we live in oh joe i'm on your side but you can't let gay people live like everyone else it's not right let's not make god very mad no random twitter user it's definitely not because of that the gods mad if you find a girl that makes you laugh leave that's a dude and what does the doge bloat baguettes on a skateboard wheels gotta do with that is it because the logic behind this meme is confusing like this image what's next legalizing gay marriage in south dakota that's how i say shaking my head now oh are you being sarcastic because it's already illegal here how it's been made legal but nationwide people been getting gay married in the state for literally years well that's gay thank you for bringing this to my attention well i mean at least they were somewhat civil about receiving the news drove by a sign today that said lil gbt liberty guns beer and trump to those who don't believe i feel like this is an adorable attempt by them to overtake the lgbt like acronym and title in general yeah i know lesbians don't exist only liberty guns no i don't like pee pee i like bang bang the only pee pee i like is pew pew oops into the boys i have no i can't do that since the boys have no nut november the girl should participate in no makeup may spread the word it doesn't even work like you'd have to say more makeup may to make it work plus i don't think women are similarly overexposed and addicted to makeup like men are overexposed and addicted to pornography like i know women are being pushed to have certain standards with makeup and looks and stuff but it's i feel they are kind of different scenarios it's like trying to compare what hurts more being bludgeoned or being stabbed my dad literally just said when you get married make sure you have a getaway from when she acts like a feminine pup and your marriage will last a long time to my brother completely seriously jesus christ man if you feel like you need to get away from your own girlfriend dump her anti-cheating ring keep your scumbag french from venturing off with any other women with the anti-cheating wedding band ring the only ring that will rend your husband's ring finger with a married indentation on his skin forever even after he takes off his ring order now to receive a bonus chastity mankini because what do you do with a partner who lacks self-control that's right you go out of your way to give them your control this guy in the drive-through said i'ma pay for the girl behind me it's my girlfriend so when the girl pulled up i told her we only accept cash and i kept the money missed me with that gay stuff how is that gay it's corny yeah but it's not gay to be affectionate you freaking idiot curved him for four years dated his best friend and brother had a baby by his cousin he saw something in me happily engaged oh i don't know what's worse the fact this guy absolutely just wasted his life on her or the fact that she openly admits to basically using him with the way she says curved oh and congrats you're both terribly perfectly terrible for each other i hung this really cute picture of my wife in her office today she was not impressed okay i mean i can see it's funny if the partners here have that kind of humor oh oh dear i mean i'd try not to be too political with things but this is that is a very big trump that's all i'm gonna say okay now before i read this big bundle of text let's just note the hashtags here for you page for you toxic dating need to know viral when we were younger never toxic so let's begin he cheated so i freaked his dad then he keyed my car and popped the tires so i smashed his ps5 then he smashed the windows at my house so i freaked his brother he killed my cat whoa so i pressed charges and he had to go to jail for a month but he wants me back and i still love him so i'm gonna go say hi what the media tells you is happening there's a gay person being beaten by bibles the the bibles are bad and the gay person is a victim what is actually happening oh it's actually been an innocent christian this entire time and it's actually like the gay bible that's been beating up the christians all this time yes turns out there's a bible out there that's for gay people yep i mean you see them in every hotel room i don't know what to tell you my wife told me that she voted for joe biden as we speak we are getting divorced and i'm leaving for vietnam paper signed everything is done absolutely disgusted with the 2020 elections what a disgrace bruh did you just divorce your wife over an election yes because she disobeyed my direct orders go to parents your life is free like scotland don't know why you're making a reference but scotland not you guys belittling trauma when i outed my brother my parents kicked him out and we haven't heard from him since that hurt me a lot you outed your brother and expect an apology for him getting kicked out and not wanting to talk to you pants were invented for men not women it's impossible for a woman to wear pants jeans yoga pants dress pants leggings dungarees etc without sexualizing her but why since they highlight her legs curves and rear-end women who want to be modest should not own pants at all so by your logic pants are bad because they just flaunt the legs and butts of a person you you are aware that you're just basically saying that when men wear pants that's what they're doing too right like i guess you're probably not attracted to men in that way but women are and therefore men are then therefore sexualizing their bodies when they wear pants well there you go candace owens looks like harry styles is right all along turns out you're all on the same page you just didn't realize it if your four star science is too small to aim please sit down and pee like the woman you are okay i do see the sexism behind this but as a male who does go to the bathrooms and does see just how bad some people aim with theirs i look sometimes shaming is necessary you know i'm a big supporter of women's rights i have a wife that has got to be the most i can't be racist because i have black friends thing i've ever read like what are gay people just sexist then is that what you're like ah i have a wife but i also have common sense there is no patriarchy and women should not have big pockets in their pants that stuff would look stupid a woman wearing tight as pants and clunky as pockets be a woman and carry a purse just stop trying to change stuff that has been here for ages and stop trying to be a man women will never be men this man is so fragile that he's offended by the thought of women having pockets hey now to be fair we do want men to be more emotionally fragile and open themselves up in this way so i mean look it's it's progress it's just it's just not the progress that we want be more emotional about things we like please this kid won first prize in school fancy dress competition his title was i argued with my wife haha and he abused her physically blah domestic abuse teaching it while it's young hey clock toilet water you're not supposed to be lesbian in the irl it's only important a real woman will do anything for her man even if it's selling her leg and two eyes just to make sure he's happy hi babe i physically disfigured myself so you could have a nicer car like holy smokes is she insane i mean she has three extra limbs that can just get rid of them she can get him a jet a wife shouldn't have sex if she doesn't want to agreed i agreed i don't like that this is the first sentence in this long tweet that that means that it's gonna be refuted somehow how how do you refute consent so a man doesn't have to go out and work hard to provide for his family because he really doesn't want to it's all a matter of the mind deciding to obey god and going with truth instead of our feelings it's doing what is right oh my goodness oh no oh no that is so oh my god there are people who think like this this this doesn't benefit anyone it really doesn't when my husband told me to shush during labor i knew our marriage was over i mean hell of a time to realize your husband's an a-hole but i mean it's better late than never dad what are we having stoick oh i get it because i've had enough of having so many kids now look this one's a pass i feel if anything they're just hating their kids more than each other straight you don't belong here okay we'll make our own place why are you excluding us men cheat because women rarely ever in the mood for [ __ ] so who they cheating with because you know apparently women aren't into it like you ever thought maybe you're just not being appealing enough to your partner because your way of getting sex is just by nagging her and poking her with your pee pee until she touches it like a cat wanting belly rubs except you're not fluffy and cute you're very hairy and smelly the only person who can decide whether a female will get a tattoo or a piercing is her husband no no just no period only he has the right to change her according to his wishes her father has to make sure that also her skin remains virgin until she get how does that e what does that even mean how do you unversion or deflower someone's skin like if she gets scratched by a dog is she suddenly a [ __ ] who's into bestiality people have read it what are your goals in life to have a wife and kids to move to british columbia someday and to teach elementary school i don't think men should be teachers oh i'm a woman you sexist piece of though i love that they just added their own opinion on the internet here as if they felt they were so valid and just intelligent enough to think it was a decent opinion a few years ago when i was still in an all-girls catholic high school one of my teachers told us in her weekly it's just a phase lectures that lesbian relationships are toxic because unlike a man and a woman two women understand each other completely thus making it harder for one to break up with the other resulting in them being trapped in a lesbian relationship for the rest of their lives just because they got too cosy with having a partner that supports and cares for them anyway can you imagine being straight and thinking that people understanding their partner's needs are toxic i'm so glad i can't relate you'll be cursed by happiness hopefully one day soon the trance prefix will not be needed actually we don't really need to know if he would just not tell everyone he'd be better off i don't go around telling everyone that i screw dogs and look at that no one bothers me that burrito is not a good emoji to use in this context you screw dogs he him transcriber well i don't know what a crimer is but i can see why you're triggered it means that i caption and subtitle for a living you freaking idiot yeah let's be fair they knew that he knew unlike you snowflakes i'm not easily triggered what does that mean it means he's easily triggered no it doesn't stop it patrick you're scaring him a friendly reminder brothers a friendly reminder for elections make sure your wife votes exactly as you do oh that's not what a wife is for buddy they're not a commodity they're not they're little freaking objects that you just move around like a chess piece 14 soldiers were photographed before during and after war oh my god war makes you sad well marriage does the same thing hilarious trans teen becomes one of the first ever female eagle scouts as bsa ushers in a new era of inclusion this is definitely not wholesome transphobia isn't also agreed that's why i don't support it uh they're they're they're against you they're not for you all young guys want an older woman to take the reins one gay two ill no fellas is it okay to sleep with a woman history will be made the first ever all-female spacewalk to happen in the next 48 hours uh houston we have a problem what's the problem oh never mind please tell us i'll just forget it i'm fine now you see the joke here is that i don't know how to communicate to my partner cardi b i don't cook i don't clean worthless butt dumb woman don't want to clean after mail stupid lately lady woman not all so-called cis people are the same stop bunching all of us in your despairs cis people sound derogatory please refrain from using cis people and call us heterosexuals you are you are you are literally both those things in the context provided when you're using those definitions feminists on their way to the kitchen when world war three breaks out okay but like no hang on no there are definitely a ton of men out there who do not want to go to war just like there are many women out there who do want to serve their country in the military they're human beings too they have varying thoughts and beliefs and wants too oh look look at this real article that's totally legit well well the quote isn't fully correct i mean he did just talk about eggs for like 35 minutes but if you look into the subtext behind what he was saying and based on what i made a theory about him saying in 20 years time i mean it's just it's all adds up well it isn't that point in the video where i demand and threaten you to like this video and make sure you're subscribed with the notification bell clicked on otherwise your family doesn't return and if you hate your family well then they will return very soon so you're better to like the video and subscribe let's do it now please i'm not really good at threatening anyway i don't want to make this outro too long thank you for watching as always my name's been jack you've been a lovely person to ramble at today with today's uh people um i'll speak to you for the next one looking forward to it love your face as always again bye-bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 734,239

Rating: 4.9068203 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, arethestraightsok, r/arethestraightsok

Id: VI4DYMZAMb4

Length: 16min 33sec (993 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 16 2021