r/AmiTheA**Hole AITA STORIES EP 1 | r/AmiTheA**Hole Top Posts of All Time

g'day there guys look at all these chickens it's marky here and welcome back to another episode of r slash am i the a-hole now if you love today's content i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie a like on the video and tell me what you think of it down in the comments posted by user poppy and clementine titled am i the a-hole for giving my boyfriend the silent treatment after he won't drive me to my cancer appointments long story short is that i 23 female suffered a seizure and was diagnosed with brain cancer because of an orange-sized tumor that i had i recently got the tumor taken out and due to the seizure that i had i won't be able to drive for a while so i don't have any way to get to my appointments or go to the grocery store etc without taking public transportation and uber and after chemotherapy that's not the best option especially with the pandemic and having cancer my immune system is even worse than normal now here is the problem i asked my boyfriend 24 male who has been unemployed for the last couple of years his parents pay for everything and he lives with them about two hours from where i live because i moved for college if he could move in with me for three months to help me with driving etc he wouldn't be paying for anything because i have rent paid for the next few months in my apartment and he lives with his parents so he wouldn't have to make a huge move over or anything just bring enough clothes and necessities and maybe some food but i have most of that covered too i didn't think this was a huge ask since i lived with him and his family for three months for other reasons at the beginning of the year but he got really upset saying he can't leave his family during the pandemic even though his whole family is together and they all have each other and i'm completely alone in another city with no support system i got upset at his response and cried a lot and told him i felt like he didn't care about me because he always puts his family ahead of me and i really need him now and if he's going to be that way i'm not sure if i want to be with him i also did put him down and said he has no backbone and now i haven't talked to him for a day because of it and i'm not sure if i should apologize and say that it's okay that he won't drive me if i have to apologize for anything or if i'm justified for being upset with him i honestly think you're justified for being upset with him here he's intentionally not coming over and helping you out when he absolutely has no reason not to you're gonna cover everything for him just like his family covers everything for him back home it doesn't sound like he's doing anything for his family back home so you're not removing him from any responsibilities that he has and he's coming to live with you his girlfriend who's alone that he's supposed to be caring for his family won't view him as an a-hole for doing that in fact he'd be more of a saint for getting off his ass and doing something and stopping you from getting the corona when you have had cancer and have chemotherapy going on he has some serious priority issues if he turns this down continuously and yeah giving your boyfriend the silent treatment i would do the same i would give him such a long silent treatment that he wouldn't even be in my life anymore pretty heartless for him to do not the a-hole are you sure you want to be with a man who wants you to remain alone in a city and take yourself to and from chemotherapy appointments while he hangs out with his family having a good time this does not sound like a man you should remain in a relationship with and even if you stayed with him i'm not sure if you would ever really get over how he left you alone to deal with cancer when he had nothing truly stopping him from being there i would have to go with not the a-hole in my opinion your response wasn't that harsh and priorities have to be discussed at some points and he showed you his thank you for your opinions i love him a lot and i think to his core he's a good person but i agree with you that it's important for me to think about what i need and what i want from a relationship and the same on his end i do regret saying the mean things that i said so i wish i could take that back i also agreed that i might hold a grudge deep down or maybe some resentment from this and that worries me about his future of our relationship he's not a good person what good is his core if the outside is useless not the a-hole i've dated guys like this and unfortunately it's better to know now everything is well and good when it has to do with him and his family but your problems are irrelevant or less than i've also dated someone like this she was a really great person except for the way she valued her parents and siblings to the detriment of her relationship i'm in favor of being close with family but at some point you have to cut the umbilical cord and make at least a little space in your life for your supposed significant other not the a-hole a good partner would be bending over backwards to help and support you after receiving a diagnosis like this it sounds like this isn't the first time he's let you down and giving you the care and attention you need and i also see from your post history that he totally ignored your last birthday he sounds quite selfish and now he's shown that he won't be there for you when you need him most thank you and yeah i came to this thread before because most of my friends are also friends with him and i don't want to make his friends think of him badly so it's easier to talk to strangers for advice i think he doesn't see it as selfish because he's using his family as an excuse but i also think it comes from a lack of maturity and experience we are very different when it comes to independence as i have been on my own since 18 which isn't his fault and i'm happy he has a family who loves and supports both of us but i also want him to support me too updates am i the a-hole for not speaking to my boyfriend after he won't drive me to my cancer appointments hello i'm writing an update to the post i made several weeks ago i ended up giving up my job because i wasn't able to come in anymore and moved back to my parents house i gave up my apartment and basically all of my autonomy because my recovery process is definitely going a lot slower than i wanted or intended and my savings ran out i wish i had a better update and that i was happier and feeling better my parents take me to my appointments that happen every couple of weeks but they live four hours from my hospital so i have to make that trip every week with them to get my treatment i'm constantly nauseous because of all the medicine i'm taking and mentally clouded because of my anti-seizure drugs i talked to my boyfriend after posting and he did admit that seeing me in pain and as sick as i am is really scary for him and that was a large part of the reason that he did not want to move in with me during this time i understand and i can see how terrible it would be to see your partner in this way so i understand i'm still with my boyfriend but our relationship is strained and i'm not sure what the future holds i have not seen him in person since june when he first visited me after my surgery for a couple days but he plans to come see me soon again at my parents house he does feel badly about me losing my apartments and he did show me he is trying to start a freelance business to make money so that he can help me move back out and hopefully into a place with him but i'm not quite sure if that will happen anytime soon physically i'm starting to do better and if everything goes well i will finish my radiation in september and hopefully my scans come up with no regrowth i will have to get mri scans for the next five years every three to six months to monitor my brain and then annually after five years until my doctors believe i am in total remission and hopefully eventually cured thank you again everyone who reached out and gave advice before edits i appreciate the responses and everyone's advice and opinions they have given i post it here and i value every judgment but please remember i am a human being and i wanted to give an update despite it not being a popular outcome from my decisions i take full responsibility for that and i feel badly that some of you are genuinely upset that i did not take the advice given to me and for that i am sorry i'm so happy to hear that you're on the road to recovery and that you have your parents as a support system right now it speaks volumes about your boyfriend's character that he didn't step up for this it makes me worry if you continue and eventually get married what if you got sick again what if you have kids and they get sick is he gonna check out again don't put any extra stress on yourself right now you need to focus on you and your health but when you are feeling better and have the energy both physical and mental i hope you will seriously consider how a person like that isn't reliable you deserve so much better posted by user symphony of music titled am i the a-hole for sleeping top naked in my bedroom my 18 female mum and i live in a crummy apartment complex in nyc our apartment itself isn't crummy we've taken a lot of pride in making the inside of our apartment look nicer than it really is but truth be told the building is crummy so much so that the radiator in my room is broken and i get heat every day of the year even in summer i prefer not to open my windows during summer as well because all types of questionable creepy crawlies like to come through the window so i usually sleep on the top of the covers or without pants last night it was too hot so i slept without a shirt or bra i have pretty huge boobs it's no secret but i was in the comfort of my bedroom and i keep my door closed when i sleep this morning i woke up to find my mum staring at me she scared me crapless especially because i have a loft bed and was making direct eye contact with her as soon as i opened my eyes she stood there and screamed at me for 20 minutes telling me to put a shirt on and calling me a ruthless [ __ ] for sleeping without a shirt while her boyfriend was here i put a pillow in front of my body and closed my eyes to go back to sleep this wasn't good enough and she ripped the pillow from my arms and told me to put on some clothes before her boyfriend came in here and saw me like this i told her i keep my door closed for a reason and if she's worried about her boyfriend bothering me that's more telling of her boyfriend not me she was absolutely seething and told me i'm to live under her rules while i'm in her house and that includes not being trashy and sleeping with some clothes on i figured she was being ridiculous but her boyfriend heard the commotion and ended up coming into the room to get her without knocking mind you and left me flailing to find a sheet to cover with he was kind of eyeing me and told me my mum was right and i need to sleep with clothes on i'm having a hard time understanding am i really an a-hole here edits no i can't lock my door she won't allow me to replace the doorknob with one that comes with a lock and for those calling this fake saying i die under the conditions that i'm describing and to just get windows and screens that doesn't help when the heat outside is so thick and gross it's just extra hot air not to mention unpredictable rainstorms that i have to constantly close the window for anyway additionally i have a phobia of bugs and the screens don't seem to stop cockroaches and spiders thank you everyone for messaging me with helpful tips it's hard to respond to everyone but i see and appreciate your help i'll be purchasing a doorstop soon as well as finding time to discuss with my mom what her blow up was about we have a pretty decent relationship outside of this which is why this shocked me and had me confused as to whether i was wrong or not what is it with parents and not letting kids have privacy in their own room you just open up insecurities for that kid knowing that they can't be secure in their own house in the household that you provide them and i'm pretty sure no one wants people just barging in on them whenever they're doing their own thing in their room regardless of if you're doing a compromising thing like sleeping without your shirt on or not i honestly think the mum is the a-hole here she's got something going on in that head of hers because she shouldn't be so hard-lined against letting op have her privacy she doesn't need a shirt no one else is looking in there unless you go searching for it and the fact that they have a decent relationship outside of this raises some warning flags maybe if she is normal in every other interaction and conversation outside of this but she's hardline against you sleeping without a shirt on does that not strike you as weird what insecurity is this hitting that a normal person is so hardline against this and then has her boyfriend enabling it just raises a lot of questions for me that's all so not the a-hole you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your room she and her boyfriend should stay out of it if she's that worried about him being in your room maybe the real issue is that she's dating someone she doesn't trust or who might be a creep bloody this if someone told me to wear a shirt in my room when the door was closed so that their boyfriend didn't see me without it i'd have a few things to stay and none of them would be pleasant yeah like i get that if they're topless in a common area and they don't want the sister's boyfriend to see them that's pretty reasonable but in your room with the door closed really who asks that not the a-hole neither your mother or her boyfriend have any business busting into your room without permission end of story right people minding their own business would fix this alternatively if they can't be bothered to do that a lock would fix it as well to be honest i'd want one on my door after this if someone was worried that their boyfriend was going to wander into my room because i'd feel so uncomfortable not the a-hole honestly your mum sounds horrible and i'm worried that your living situation might be dangerous given the boyfriend as an adult it might be better for you to look for your own place or to perhaps move in with a trusted friend that was my thought too that likely if your mum is saying it's an issue because of her boyfriend that means she believes the boyfriend is liable to do something and is projecting the blame onto you so that if something happens she won't have to deal with him updates am i the a-hole for sleeping top naked in my bedroom hi everyone i wanted to give an update on the situation since a lot of people were really concerned for me after the whole debacle i did purchase a wedge for under my door from walmart's it worked and i didn't have any more issues with waking up to people in my face i used the excuse that it was to keep our cat from opening my door at night and my mum seemed fine with that while he was here and even after he was gone my mum seemed detached and sort of out of it i asked if everything was okay and she said she needed to sort out some feelings first but she'd promised we'd talk when she was better i said okay and left it at that couple days later he came back for another weekend stay the day after he came they had an at-home date night with drinks and fancy takeouts and that night i woke up to my door being messed with i call out to see if it's my mom and i got no response i pulled on a t-shirt and shorts and pull the door wedge to check and e is standing at my door he was drunk and i was a bit panicked because i thought something had happened to my mum and he needed help but he just stood there for a few seconds without seeing anything he didn't seem to be sleepwalking or in peril so i said i'm uncomfortable i'm closing the door before i could close the door all the way my mom flew out of her room saw him and started cussing and screaming and telling him he needed to leave they argued back and forth for a while but eventually she got him out the door after calming her down i took her to her room and we had a talk it turns out the day she had come into my room she had been on his phone and saw that he was talking to his brother-in-law about me in very disgusting ways talking about how i was growing up to be very shapely and mature and that he couldn't wait until i moved out so he could dump my mother for me he said far more explicit things that were all extremely worrying especially since we've known him since i was 11. my mum had came to tell me to be careful around him while she thought of a way to break it off safely but when she saw my state she had some misplaced anger he's out of our lives now thankfully i want to say thanks to everyone for all the suggestions and recommendations and even those who suggested my mom could be abusive i plan to talk to her about her other ideals and behaviors soon sarcastic thanks and genuinely big fuse to those who sent me crude messages i'm just glad the situation is over the moderators of the subreddit closed the comments before anyone could comment on this one and i'm glad they did because it's not really something that i want to comment on all too much i am very glad that op is safe from that man that's never a situation that anyone should be in and if you ever feel like someone is in that situation definitely reach out to them definitely get them some help i would feel so uncomfortable and i'd be physically shaken with anxiety and fear if i was in the same spot as op the mum had obvious misplaced anger there but she also had misplaced priorities why the hell would you let that man back into your room and your apartment around your daughter after he's been there since she was 11 and you have compromising evidence that he's gonna do messed up things dear lord obviously i'm no arbiter of morality of what you're supposed to do in these situations but letting him back in seems like the last thing you'd want to do screenshots and photos of those conversations and police would be my first route to go oh my god posted by user throw ray wed photos titled would i be the a-hole if i deleted my friend's engagement pictures i tried to be short sorry english is my second language i got married last fall where i live fall means that the trees are changing colors so the wedding pictures are to die for we didn't have a huge budget so a friend of mine asked her friend if she could do it for me i had seen some of her work and she's really talented plus she's a total sweetheart the only thing is for what she charges and since it's more of a hobby you'll get your pictures when you'll get them well i got them and now i need to know if what i'm about to do falls into a-hole territory a few days after my wedding my friend announced to me that she was engaged i was ecstatic and wanted to know everything turns out she got engaged at my wedding my brain gets out of its vegetative states and i remember her table being way too excited at some points but i blamed the alcohol i wasn't thrilled about it realizing then that she had basically not only gotten engaged at my wedding but instead of hiding it and announcing it later she announces it to our friends during the party it was a tough pill to swallow but i figured whatever it's not like i even realized what was happening we did have a discussion about it and she didn't seem to understand why i was upset until i put it into perspective for her asking her how she would feel if i made a big announcement at her wedding taking the attention away from her big moments in my friends minds it's no longer the day i got married it's now the day that she got engaged on my dime we eventually turned to the page and i thought it was over well i've sort of been friends with my photographer since the wedding because of common interests and at some points she told me point blank that now that we're closer she feels comfortable asking me what to do with my friend's pictures because it makes her really uncomfortable during the evening the wedding party took a break to go change and during that time my photographer was taking pictures of foliage and the venue my friends apparently told her to take pictures of her and her boyfriend she didn't really see a problem since we weren't back yet and they were guests that is until she realized they were engagement pictures some poses just don't leave place to interpretation so when she asked me what to do that you know accidents happen i told her just to put them in a separate folder ever since i've been thinking what i'm gonna do with that folder my friend has been asking about my wedding pictures periodically but haven't asked about her pictures specifically it was easy when i didn't have them but now i do i've had them since april and i know that she will eventually come out of hiding now that the pandemic restrictions are loosened i want to delete the folder since they are my property anyway but i don't want to be a major a-hole either before you say it i do realize that i haven't forgiven her at all like i initially thought do it do it opie do it you know you want to do it opie you know they deserve it it's easy to click that delete button op i dare you i double dog dare you to do it how dare she how dare she get engaged at your wedding and then hide it from you and not say it until now and then when she does say it to you like ah it's a matter of fact i got engaged at your wedding it's nothing too big it is exactly like you said it's no longer your wedding day it's the day that she got engaged on your dime and i've got a feeling like you're not over it either opie i feel like you're making excuses for your friend because she is your friend and that's very toxic of her to do i for one think it's completely unacceptable to have any announcements like that unless you have express permission from the bride and groom that it's okay and even then it's very iffy i see no universe where you're the a-hole for deleting the friend's engagement pictures she can always get some more somewhere else where it's not on your dime sure she's gonna be sad that she doesn't have them anymore but whose fault is that it's all her fault oh wow not the a-hole you would be well within your rights announcing an engagement at someone's waiting is awful but i would have been okay to let it go like you she might not have known a proposal was coming and they didn't announce it to the room at large your initial response to her was good but the photographer thing is absolutely unacceptable i think i'd keep her hanging let her see the photos you've chosen of your special day and never mention hers if she asks you can then make her explain why she got your photographer whose time you had paid for and allocated to take pictures that weren't about your day you can choose whether to delete the photos or charge for them but hopefully she will be sufficiently embarrassed and it will make her think if not i'm not certain i'd actually want her as a friend charge her for the photos it was tacky to get engaged to the wedding but extra shifty to ask for the photos on your dime not the a-hole if you don't delete them overcharge her for the photos has she had an engagement party or plans to have one if not charge her for half the photograph fees since she insists on making your wedding her engagement experience not the a-hole she cheated you out of money be it hundreds or thousands of dollars wedding photos cost money engagement photos cost money moreover she knew what she was doing when she asked the photographer to take those photos my suggestion is 1. never mention them and act like you have no idea what she's talking about and 2. ask your photographer how much she charges for an engagement shoot then tell your friend if she wants those picks she needs to pay for them i would bet my whole left foot if someone did this to her on her wedding day she would light the world on fire i didn't actually consider that although it was definitely not thousands of dollars like i said our budget was pretty tight and she doesn't charge nearly as much as she should for the work that she does i think it's worth exploring though asking her how much she would have charged for it and from there i'll have a better idea of what to do make sure your photographer still has copies and delete yours if your friend asks tell her you don't have them and that she should get in touch with the photographer directly to work out any related costs i love this solution i was feeling not the a-hole but i was also considering what that opie does have to live with the fact that she deleted the photos unlike all of us who can vindictively scream delete him with no consequences and if she cares to remain friends with this person she may want to think twice but this solves that beautifully rp doesn't have them because she didn't want them friend can still get the photos photographer gets paid for their work that they did on top of the wedding photos and it works out great for everyone updates would i be the a-hole if i deleted my friend's engagement pictures thank you for the huge response your insight really helped my update isn't really exciting i'm afraid when i wrote the original post i was at the end of my rope and worked up all at the same time but i stepped back and listened to your ideas although it was tempting to photoshop hidden objects and body parts on her pictures we headed towards the civil path so nothing dramatic sorry i talked with my photographer to see if she wanted to sell them the pictures the way she sees it they are my pictures to do whatever i want with since i paid for them so my husband and i decided to leak a few of our pictures on social media and wait it didn't take two days that she was asking about her pictures i met with her and we talked a lot long story short deep down she knew i would be angry about the proposal the announcements and the photo shoots but her immediate wants blurred her judgment and after that she was just gasping for air trying to manage everything without losing me as a friend but she admitted that she did it all wrong she seemed genuine in her regrets and it was a bit comforting to know that she was also struggling with this on her side i'm a terrible person no you're not you're not a terrible person she said she wished she didn't announce it at my wedding that the whole night she was worried that i would learn about it through our friends or some of my relatives sitting next to them and that i'd never talk to her again and then it was all done and she didn't know how to navigate through all of it when i confronted her the first time she felt that if she admitted her wrongs that she'd lose me in the process so she decided it would be better to just invalidate my feelings now that's not how she worded it but pretty much she didn't come clean about the pictures because she figured that that would be a problem for future her i told her that i would have preferred she were honest with me that a lot of the hurt and betrayal i felt came from her sneaking around and invalidating my feelings by acting innocent this could have been dealt with months ago had she just owned up to everything back then i told her that our friendship was definitely hurt by it and that i didn't know if it would ever just go back to what it was so yeah as far as i'm concerned this is case closed and we're building towards a better tomorrow eta i've got the most important parts i gave her the pictures free of charge it was just not worth all the drama we have common friends and money tends to make things cold it would also not make it okay or make me feel better and we didn't want anyone to use it against us if that makes sense like why don't you go back to being friends now right this second she paid for them didn't she some people have this weird idea that money erases everything you are such a better person than i from a complete stranger i'm proud of you way to take the high road and not to be petty but did you give her the pictures did you make her pay your other friend for them i don't know how i did that but i deleted the paragraph i updated the post my photographer didn't want the money and we didn't want it either so we just gave her the pictures it was hard to take the highway but satisfying all the same without the crippling anxiety that it's going to bite you in the butt someday wow you are the epitome of selfless and kind i will strive to be less petty and mean myself lol you've inspired me oh god no i'm definitely not there yet but i try really really hard so thank you good for you by taking the high road you're actually getting the best revenge possible not stooping to her level and being able to hold your head high meanwhile she can wallow in both what a terrible friend she's proven herself to be and have it feel worse because she's lost someone who's proven to be a good friend it's great to hear a story where being the bigger person actually wins wow i would have either never given her the photos or at her wedding i would let her know that that's her wedding gift seeing as photographers are very expensive and forever you will remember what she did at your wedding i'd say it's a damn good gift edits please announce you're pregnant at her wedding it would just be no take pregnancy pictures with the photographer then it's even i'd be more impressed if she could give birth on the dance floor of the reception oh god posted by user shaun b lolz titled am i the a-hole for not sharing an intimate detail of my sex life with my mom backstory my wife 30 female and i 30 male have been together for almost 12 years and married for almost aids my wife has always wanted kids but only within the last few years around three years have i felt that i would be ready for parenthood our parents would always ask about kids and we would always give a vague response like well we're ready now so hopefully it'll be soon the problem for us is that my wife has a condition called vaginismus for those who don't know what that is it causes the vaginal muscles to be very tight and it makes sex painful or even impossible we struggled for years not even knowing this condition existed and last year my wife finally started physical therapy after starting physical therapy my wife told her mum about our situation because she felt like she needed someone to talk to other than me which i was completely okay with the only other people who know about our situation are a couple of her clothes friends and a couple of my close friends over the last few years we've said that we're ready for a kid my mom would always make the most comments about kids including talking about making sure we were prepared in regards to nutrition prenatal vitamins etc and got us a couple books in the same vein as what to expect when you're expecting my wife at one point had suggested that we tell my mum about our situation because she felt that my mom was becoming worried thinking that we'd have been trying to get pregnant for a couple years i'm not nearly as close to my mom as my wife is with hers so it felt weird to me to share such an intimate detail with her problem well we recently announced to our parents over zoom due to the pandemic that we were pregnant and of course everyone was thrilled my mother-in-law accidentally slipped up and said something about being proud of us for overcoming our obstacle she knew my mum didn't know but i don't blame her for the slip up it's easy to say something without thinking when you're excited naturally my mom wanted to know what she was referring to and so we had to tell her she blew up at us saying that she had been so worried for us and how could we not tell her on one hand i get where she's coming from that she was concerned for us but at no point did we explicitly tell anyone that we were actively trying to get pregnant and in my opinion it's an incredibly intimate detail and no one is entitled to that information i imagine part of her reaction was also due to us telling my mother-in-law but not her i haven't been able to talk to her since this happened though my friends and her friends are a bit split on the subject and i wanted to get some outside perspective so reddit am i the a-hole i personally think that it is something that you should keep to yourself and that you don't have to share with other people especially your mother i can understand why she is upset because it would come as such a relief and a shock that it's not as bad as she was thinking but then again it's not her right to know that the cat's out of the bag now but for the entire time that you didn't tell her it's fine there was nothing wrong with that you were not an a-hole for not sharing that intimate detail about your sexual anatomy your sex life whatever she doesn't need to know that not the a-hole this is an incredibly intimate detail about your wife it has nothing to do with your mother she has no claim whatsoever in knowing what the issue is it's your wife's body her choice who to tell it to and of course she'll tell her own mum rather than your mum this since it was your wife's body it's only natural that she can fight it in her own mum first i'm sure your mum will eventually come and understand especially since the focus should be around the excitement of a new family member congratulations and best wishes as someone who suffers with something similar you are absolutely correct i told my mother because i wanted her support i was scared and needed a woman i trusted to talk to this about and have her help me i would be mortified if my partner's mother was told i have no reason to believe she would keep that to herself so in my mind my partner's entire family knows my gynecological medical history mother-in-law father-in-law sister-in-law grandparents cousins who knows and i'd be even more upset if i didn't make that decision myself i might be close enough to tell the mother myself at some points perhaps we were really close and had a nice evening when questions were raised and i felt comfortable answering but a partner sharing my medical information without my consents intimate medical condition or not that's not okay mother-in-law is probably mostly upset because she felt left out because the wife's mother knew and she's seeing this as a baby issue and therefore a joint couples issue but it's not actually her son's issue he's involved but it's not jointly his pain or information to share at will update am i the a-hole for not sharing an intimate part of my sex life with my mom i feel like positive updates are kind of rare here so i'm happy to say that i have a positive update my wife and i decided that we would give my mom a couple days to cool down before we reached out to her again but she actually reached out to us first asking to talk she started off immediately apologizing for how she reacted on the last call she said that she thought that we had been trying to have a kid for a few years and had been really concerned especially since we didn't seem to be concerned at all she had me in her mid-30s and regretted having kids so late so she was worried we were going to wait too long and discover some infertility issue she also said that since i was her only child my wife was like the daughter that she never had my wife had even let her plan the wedding so when she heard that she had been left out it made her realize that she wasn't as close to my wife as she thought and the combinations of emotions cued her over the top reaction after having time to think about it and talk about it with my dad she realized how much she messed up she really was truly sorry for how she acted and ruining what had been such a special moment this wasn't one of those i'm sorry you were offended type apologies she didn't try to pass off her reasons as excuses but just for us to understand the emotions that were at play for her overall we had a really good conversation and we apologized as well for leading her on and not directly telling her that we weren't actively trying for a kid for years because we were embarrassed about our situation there were many tears shed both happy and sad but i'm happy to say that everything is now back to normal i always think to myself how many situations on this sub wouldn't even be issues if people just communicated better and i guess i can now add myself to that list i'm hesitant to ask because i don't want to risk ruining the positive vibes i'm really glad you and your mother have arrived at a better place and it's wonderful that she's capable of doing what so many of us aren't and realizing that she's done wrong and that you have open communication but your apology to her makes me wonder are you agreeing to let her in on intimate details of your marriage going forward because i do think she was overstepping with her earlier behavior and that your boundary was a healthy one i mean there's really nothing else intimate to share unless we tell her when we have sex which obviously will not be happening lol and to clarify our apology wasn't sorry we didn't tell you about our sex problems but more of sorry we didn't explicitly say that we weren't trying to conceive just that simple comment from us could have potentially avoided the whole situation basically everything's just back to normal and we both admitted to our faults here's a good thing now that you have shared this with thousands of people on reddit there may be a few women who suddenly get an answer that they were too shy or afraid to talk about with their gun and you still keep it to yourselves you're doing a great service there have been a few people who have messaged me asking me for advice so i'm glad i've been able to help some people because of this post glad everything worked out but why did you stop your wife from telling her i understand not being close to your mother but if your wife wants to disclose personal information about herself to your mother assuming she's not just a no mother-in-law you should let her decide when she's ready to i clarified in some comments in the original post but my wife didn't want to tell my mom so much as she was accepting of the idea telling my mum at that point wouldn't have been for my wife's benefit at all but rather for my mom's in hindsight my wife's intuition was accurate but we had come to a mutual decision to not tell my mom it wasn't like i told my wife that she couldn't tell my mom she still could have if she really wanted to then never mind you did right by your wife if she wasn't honestly ready you were doing the right thing by not pressuring her posted by user fall warfare titled am i the a-hole for telling my wife i won't give her an allowance every month me male 23 and my wife female 22 got married two months ago she moved a hundred miles from her family and friends to live with me in my city we live in a three-bedroom new build home with a nice spacious garden my wife currently has no job since she left us to live with me she has been having a very hard time finding a job since this pandemic has hit our economy hard i work full time and earn 3 000 pounds a month i also rent out a property of my father's which covers our rent for our new home i pay for the groceries and anything that the house needs she covers the car insurance wi-fi and her own bills with her savings i must say my wife is a very good stay-at-home wife like she cooks very nice meals and bakes these amazing cakes for me every few days she also cooks me pancakes in the mornings as hers are honestly the best i've ever had and she also makes sure that my lunch is packed and dinner's on the table when i get home also the house is spotless last night she expressed to me how she was running low on her savings i cover literally everything so i'm not too sure on what she spends her money on anyways she told me she would like a hundred pound a month so she can use it for her creams that she applies at night and just so that she can get her nails done and use it to feel nice i told her i won't be giving her any allowance and if she needs anything like her nails done or her creams just ask me instead and i'll transfer her the amount she got into a mood because i said no but i reminded her how i'm the one who's covering everything anyways and how i don't even want her to work because she doesn't need to am i the a-hole for refusing her request because she did get into a mood the entire evening and she just acted off why are you getting up your wife or acting off and getting into a mood it's a lockdown that we're still in we're still in a pandemic buddy she probably feels trapped at home and doesn't have savings anymore yes you may be providing her all these things yes she can ask you for it every time she goes and does it but that just seems like you're holding money over her head and how much of a drag would be every time you go out to be like hey can you transfer this sorry i'm busy hey can you transfer this do you really need that i don't think you need that i'm not going to give you the money you're an a-hole for using this money as power and leverage over your wife who is doing so much for you as a stay-at-home wife she covers the car insurance wi-fi and her own bills with her savings yet you say you pay for everything your story really isn't adding up here op i don't believe you with what you're saying you're the a-hole you want her to ask for literally everything she wants are you always this controlling i cover literally everything so i'm not too sure on what she spends her money on obviously you don't because she has to ask you for money hopefully she'll get a job soon and you can start doing 50 of the cooking and cleaning that'll happen right yep this is very much textbook financial abuse opia's treating her like she's a child you're the a-hole yeah what the hell she cooks cleans and the house is spotless she should be getting a lot more than 100 bucks opie i'm asking you to pull your emotions from the situation and put yourself in her shoes you love someone they ask you to leave everything you know and have spent years building job opportunities support network friendships family etc in the middle of a pandemic to follow them and all the things they have built so that you can share it together you arrive and keep yourself busy until you can find a job because pandemic you cook and clean and make life so wonderful for your significant other and you really do your best you also use your savings to contribute to the life your significant other is built until one day you realize it's taking longer to find a job than you thought and you're running low on funds you're a responsible adult and communicate with your partner that you need some things for regular self-care and humble yourself to asking for 100 per month to spend because you're not able to afford it your partner says no and that if you want something you can just ask them and they can send you money except they're not always available and you're an adult but you left everything behind and have continued to invest in a life another person built and said they would share with you should you have to ask for permission you've been responsible and caring you've sacrificed everything and now do not even have the ability to spend money on necessary things how little control or freedom do you feel she had a job and left it and all the plans and opportunities she had in the middle of a pandemic to follow you she gave up her family friends emotional support network job opportunities and lifestyle to follow you and it sounds like she's done it all with grace and kindness she continues to benefit your life and make your life easier while still trying to search for a job and contribute to a household and lifestyle you chose and she followed and now when she's asking for financial assistance the sacrifices she made means nothing and you are taking her sacrifices and rubbing them in her face by not giving her an ounce of freedom or trust when she has no current source of income that she would have but she gave up to follow you you're the a-hole she's given up everything to follow you and now you want to control and limit the amount of help you give that's some controlling ass crap right there help her support her and allow her the freedom she needs to be able to live without feeling like her dad is checking over her shoulder or requiring her to defend her purchases if she's proven herself to be dependable and trustworthy i cannot see the problem with giving her a hundred dollars to do some self-care since she seems to support you so well she seems worth way more than that to me posted by user no quote 942 titled am i the a-hole for not allowing my husband to be the entire neighborhood's husband i have a weird situation it's become very clear that my husband is the only man on our streets the rest of the houses are entirely women there's a few single mother houses two houses of all female roommates one single woman and even a lesbian couple i normally wouldn't care or even take note of this but since march it's like we're getting constant calls and texts the number we gave when we moved into years ago just renewed last january was my number i am flooded with requests for basic handyman stuff like changing light bulbs car problems and dealing with toilets he's helped people around the neighborhood before because he's a nice guy and we're from a culture that assumes that men need to help out women if they can even if they are not related but with me being furloughed he's the only one working and is less interested in extra stuff but the tasks do only take around 5 to 20 minutes on average which i know because my husband makes me go with him because they make him uncomfortable even more gross than that is that these women are obsessed with him on a personal level they openly flirt with him and literally offer themselves up if he's ever tired of me or want something different i have even gotten pictures of boobs from neighbours while i love my husband and am attracted to him he's not like a male model or anything so i really don't understand why these women are fawning over him like this one of the single moms even asked him to come over and discipline one of her children which is an absolute note he's not comfortable with any of this and has asked me to intervene i've tried talking to these women more casually to no avail i set up a zoom for just us ladies to try to get us on the same page they told me that since it's now impossible for any of them to find anyone anymore 2020 i needed to share my husband and be less selfish in regards to household maintenance requests it's not even safe to call for maintenance and i shouldn't ask them when there's a safe alternative where they don't have to risk exposure they also said that it was just harmless flirting because they're all frustrated and can't date and that i wouldn't even be threatened by it if i was giving him kids i have talked to my own family about this and while they say that the women should be less forward i should be more understanding about how hard it is for a woman to be alone because my mother was alone am i the a-hole for not just dealing with it i feel like they should know how to do all these tasks by themselves and it should be obvious that they're just doing this so that they can win your husband over very smart move that you go there with him every time i feel like as soon as you got boobs in your messages that should have been the point where you're like okay we're not uh talking to you guys anymore we're not interacting it's clear what's going on here i can just imagine a role reversal worlds where it's men asking a woman to come help them out and they're just getting penises in the messages i'm sure the husband wouldn't be too happy about that you're not the a-hole for not allowing your husband to go over anymore i honestly don't blame you i don't even know if they think you're an a-hole they're just pushing their luck it's kind of disgusting behavior from all of them not the a-hole these grown women should learn how to complete basic home maintenance themselves start sending them youtube videos instead of your husband seriously especially crap like changing a light bulb as a woman who lives alone youtube has been my best friends i can do most basic maintenance around the house and all sorts of diy i even built my own bed from scratch i don't expect applause from any of this obviously but if i can do it from reading wikihow and watching youtube videos then they can too i'd hate to be so dependent on another person that i couldn't change a light bulb as for the floating jesus christ they can f right off posted by user scar advanced 9562 titled am i the a-hole for asking my sister for money to buy her pads i'm 17 male and my sister is two female one probably 21 female i'm guessing she currently lives with us because of the pandemic so i wanted to make a trip to walmart for some snacks since they were running out also it's just a bike ride away so not that far i just told my parents that i was going and my sister asked me if i could buy some pads i just asked her for the money she somehow got ticked and gave me three dollars i went to the store and couldn't find pads that cost three dollars so i just bought my snacks and gave her the three dollars back then she got super angry with me she said that she's already on her period and that i could have used my money and asked her for it later no i was already doing her as solid i was going out of my way to help her and it just turns out that she didn't give me enough money i shouldn't be expected to sacrifice my stuff for hers now she told our parents and they're expecting me to bike there and back just for some pads she can do it herself she's a grown woman plus she never pays me back for crab she just called me an expletive and drove there not so hard now was it she just said that i ruined her day for not doing this one small thing while she's already ticked edits she did give me the brand of what the pads were all of them costed more than three dollars i'm just going to go out and say that everyone sucks here in this situation but this 17 year old male sucks a bit more because he doesn't understand i guess the plight of having another female in your life and doing this one or two times for them i'd consider this one just a hard learning curve for his future relationships with women if he is swinging that way he may bat for the same team no judgment there but she's also an a-hole for only giving him three dollars and not communicating with him before that that hey this is all i got right now this is all i'm giving you can you please use some of your money and i'll pay you back afterwards there was a lack of communication there and then she screamed at him and he is confused because he's got dumb young boy brain well i've been there i know the struggle i wouldn't blame him if he genuinely didn't know what he's doing because he's so focused on himself that is no excuse that is just the reality of dumb boy brain everyone sucks here i'm going with everyone sexier but honestly i don't trust this post because every female i know would give specific instructions on what type or else you just end up with some diaperesque pad just get me whatever said no woman ever just whatever is only during emergencies or when you're borrowing supplies from a friend otherwise every single woman has a particular preference of hygiene products brand length absorbency etc can vary a lot not the a-hole you're a kid and she's a grown capable woman everyone knows pads cost more than three dollars and she consciously only sent you three dollars obviously she had enough since she ended up going and buying them herself it would be a different situation if she just asked you to buy them and paid you back later but she sent you a measly three dollars beforehand that doesn't make any sense if she wanted you to buy her something she should have sent enough money plain and simple not the a-hole it's the principle of the situation why would she give him the exact change for the pads and if she was short on money which she would know if she was then she should have told him before he left that she'll pay you back and then you could have denied her if you believed she was trying to scam you this whole situation seems fishy to me p.s i know that i'm a dude so people will use that to say i don't know what i'm saying but i do have a question why don't women buy them in excess like if it were me i would always have a couple spares nearby i guess that i'm thinking of them like band-aids in that i would always just keep at least one box full at home most people do keep spares to answer your question but sometimes the amount of blood doesn't match the pad that you're using and you'll need more than just your spare can handle or a different type so it's easy to realize you're out of the kind that you need even when you do have spares also that's before you hit the fact that pads cost money and budgets can vary so some women have to stretch what they have until they have money hope that helps posted by user throwaway 506 7109 titles am i the a-hole for telling my girlfriends to leave after she flushed down my allergy pills i 26 male have a chronic respiratory system disease asthma i have an allergic reaction to certain foods and my doctor advised me to keep away from this type of food due to the effect of worsening my condition my girlfriend 23 female keeps cooking trigger foods that are full of dairy and does not seem to understand how my diet works even when i showed her more than enough times we had argued about this topic a lot and last night when i came home for dinner i found out that she used some of the ingredients that i was allergic to so i told her that i wasn't gonna eat dinner well she blew up got mad at me and called me picky and hard to please she said that i don't appreciate her cooking and that she was tired of me complaining about her dishes i didn't want to engage in the arguments but she started yelling at me telling me to eat because she wasn't gonna throw that food away and that a single meal won't hurt i told her no and i went to make myself some salad she tried to mock me and my illness and said that since i didn't want to eat her food for allergies then i should stop taking my allergy pills i called her ridiculous and that's when she lost it and ran to my room got my allergy tablets and flushed them down the toilets i saw what she was doing but i wasn't able to yell at her to stop thinking that i didn't want to have an asthma attack i cussed her told her to leave because she was causing me stress and i ended up going outside to get some fresh air she got her stuff and left crying i called my brother and i told him everything he said it was good that i kicked her out but i feel bad for her because i understand her frustration but i can't control it i had to go get new allergy tablets and i asked my doctor to give me another copy of my diet so hopefully i could show it to her and she might be able to cook without putting restricted ingredients in she isn't responding and is blaming me for what happens i admit that it was harsh but she was being unreasonable sorry for grammar i'm asian the unfortunate reality is if he says that he understands her frustration but can't control it it means he's been conditioned in this relationship to accept her toxic and abusive you can call it what it is it is straight-up abuse this girl is abusing this man it's honestly insanity not even borderline it is insanity that she snapped at him for not eating her food when she knows this is gonna cause him really bad health issues and then gaslighting him saying that he's the problem and you know what now i'm gonna flush your meds down the toilets genuine insanity get away from this woman not the a-hole your girlfriend is abusive you have an actual food allergy and not only does she refuse to respect that with the meals she cooks she then yells at you when you repeatedly try to explain good riddance to her this why the hell do you want her back she is actively trying to harm you you were not harsh you had explained many times that this is not your choice it's a medical condition she's either too stupid too uncaring or too controlling to listen that's not a girlfriend that's an accident waiting to happen not the a-hole do not chase her what she's doing is dangerous and is possibly life-threatening she's thrown away expensive meds assuming you're in the usa the land of terrible healthcare and causing you distress if you were married it would be flat out abuse case divorce if she was your parent cps would be involved it's no different and you need to walk the hell away bro she's refusing to understand your dietary needs then in anger flushed your medication the only way that you would be an a-hole is if you stay with her and that would be an a-hole to yourself not the a-hole posted by user psychological grand 61 titled am i the a-hole for not knowing who my kids doctors are so my wife is normally the one that handles all doctor's appointments dentist pediatrician etc for our kids that's worth mentioning because usually it's not something i would have to handle so it's not something i would need to remember we have the information written down somewhere in our house unfortunately last week my wife had a presentation at work and couldn't take our daughter to an appointment she asked me a few days before if i could take our daughter but she did not tell me the name of the doctor she says she did but i am 100 sure she did not doesn't really matter anyway because i thought i knew the name because i've heard mention of it the day of the appointments i ended up at the wrong office then tried another and that was also wrong i was hoping my daughter would know her doctor's name but she couldn't remember it i couldn't call my wife because of the presentation so i then tried to call my doctor's pediatrician hoping that they could tell me but i called the wrong office by that time it was too late anyway so my daughter missed her appointment needless to say when my wife found out she was not pleased it might not have been so bad except my daughter was supposed to get a hardcast removed it was a goof on my part but it was an honest mistake and i don't think it's fair to label me the a-hole when i'm not the parent that deals with this stuff my wife seems to think that i am the a-hole here even though i made an honest mistake because one she says i should know this information and two i am unfairly depending on her and expecting her to always take care of it i think in truth she's more upset about number two because she feels like i'm taking advantage of her and just assuming that she'll deal with it is that not true opie i don't feel like that's the case we each have responsibilities for example sports have always been my thing i am the one that manages everything for that i do the same when we take day trips i see this is a one-off that was a mistake but not as me being an a-hole in the same way i don't think expecting her to know the names and depending on her for it makes me the a-hole since that's one of the areas that she covers but am i wrong the unfortunate reality here is yes you were wrong yes this was a one-off mistake but it doesn't exempt you from being an a-hole it's a one-off mistake in the sense that every time that your daughter has something important like a doctor's appointments every time that you do that you make that one-off mistake of not being part of the process and not knowing what's going on you're doing a disservice to both your wife and your daughter by not knowing these important facts i know not everyone has the time and ability to do that but it sounds like you do in this situation so that's why i'm leading with you're the a-hole this is something you should know and as a result your daughter is suffering she wants to get the hard cast off i'm sure that's not something that people want to keep going learn from this mistake accept the fact that you're the a-hole and be better in the future you're the a-hole an easy one finally you're a parent not a babysitter and you have a responsibility to know information about your child it's parents like you that make working in a medical office that treats children a huge pain in the ass even a babysitter should know basic information like this in case of an emergency in the event that you have to go to the er there is a chance that you are still going to need to know who the primary doctor is to get records yeah every family i know with kids has a note on the fridge or wherever that lists all of the local emergency numbers family slash friend ice contacts and doctors dentists and specialists that the family uses it's useful if a kid is home alone and needs help or if a babysitter needs one of the numbers or in this case the kid's own damn father you're the a-hole if you weren't 100 sure before the appointment you should have clarified that with your wife you are a parent to your daughter as much as your wife while your wife normally takes your daughter to her appointments that doesn't mean that she can do it all the time making an honest mistake doesn't make you any less the a-hole in this situation your wife is right yeah wouldn't that make a person even more dependent on getting the information down writing down or asking about the address to make sure i don't usually do this better write down the name and address i don't know seems weird to not have asked at all i was sure that i knew it what if you're mixing it up with your dentist's address or something why not take the 10 seconds to make sure you're the a-hole op not for being a living rolodex but for not asking before it was too late posted by user lying brother and sister-in-law titled am i the a-hole for refusing to babysit my nephew even in a family medical emergency because my brother and sister-in-law lied before i and my brother and sister-in-law's only relative in the city when sister-in-law was pregnant i made it clear that i'd only babysit for them in the case of a serious emergency eg someone has a medical emergency i won't babysit if they just wanted time off from being parents because i don't have the free time for that i work 60 to 100 hours a week so if anyone needs time off it's me last year my brother and sister-in-law asked me to babysit on the day of an informal work meeting a lake retreat organized by my company everyone is expected to go and it's frowned upon if you miss it they wanted to go on a date i said no i have an important work event they continued to nag me about how they haven't gone on a date for so long the night before that day they called in a panic and said their friend mike from the next city over had been in a car accident and i needed to babysit the nephew for a few hours so that they could visit mike i reluctantly agreed with the stipulation that they would be back by 7am the next day to pick nephew up so i could leave for my work event they did not come back until two days later i had to cancel on my superiors the morning of which looked awful my brother and sister-in-law never responded to multiple texts and calls for me their excuse was that mike's life was in danger and they were too busy helping his girlfriends i accepted that since i had met both mike and his girlfriend at a party in the past and thought that they were good people but i emphasized that this absolutely could not happen again throughout the next two months my brother-in-law and sister-in-law regularly used the excuse of aiding mike in his recovery and needing to visit him in order to make me babysit my nephew mike's girlfriend's company and my company had a meeting two months after mike's accident i ran into her and asked her how mike was recovering apparently she had no idea he had ever been hospitalized and neither did mike mike had never been in an accident and although brother and sister-in-law had gone to visit them recently it was for drinks and bowling not bringing them chicken noodle soup in the hospital i confronted brother and sister-in-law and they denied it at first but finally admitted that they had been lying about mike's accidents so that they could finally go on date nights they claimed i gave them no choice since i would never help them out when they needed time together because parenting was so stressful and difficult and i had no idea and it was just a little white lie i made it clear that after this incident i would never babysit for them again and i've stuck to that yesterday my brother and sister-in-law begged me to babysit for them because there was an actual medical emergency in sister-in-law's family they even sent me proof of the relative's hospitalization i still said no they didn't care about betraying my trust so i don't care if they can't afford child care or if their relative is in the hospital they said i was a bad aunt needed to get over my grudge and a petty a-hole am i the a-hole there's a wolf there's a wolf everyone there's a wolf oh no there's actually a wolf i'm gonna die oh no this is terrible you're not holding a grudge they didn't apologize to you these angers are completely founded when you confronted them about this they just gaslit you entirely what's wrong with them i don't think they actually understand how much they're costing you in this company and how badly that's affecting your professional reputation it's completely unacceptable to continuously do that to you and i would just ghost this family entirely if you don't need anything from them if you don't value their company because they've double crossed you this many times so be it that's what i would do it sucks but it's reality good stuff for sticking to your guns and you know there is a genuine medical emergency now too bad they burned those bridges long ago they're going to have to deal with the fallout from that and if someone dies and they're not there to see it unfortunate isn't it just that's life not the a-hole not the a-hole they cried wolf too many times now they get to live with the consequences plus family doesn't owe family free babysitting if they wanted a date night find a babysitter not the a-hole didn't just cry wolf once kept an ongoing chorus for months never babysat again ever i don't care if they're the ones in the hospital themselves anyone who wants to give you attitude about it can go babysit themselves this christmas i think you should give them a nice book of children stories be sure it contains the boy who cried wolf not the a-hole they burned that bridge they used to lie about the health of a friend to put their priorities above your own they made you miss work and they lied to you for months they really expect you to do this if that they need to grow up and if they weren't ready for the stress of having kids all the time they shouldn't have had one these people aren't just a-holes they are bad parents who the hell drops their kid off to the person they've tricked into babysitting and then ghosts them for two days this is what really gets me lying for months is awful but not coming back for two days and not responding to calls or texts i would have called the police to see if they had been in an accident too because that is the only excuse for dumping your kids and ghosting on the babysitter posted by user gobble deglizzy titled am i the a-hole told my mum if you raised us both the same then why did he grow up with no courtesy morals or respect and she freaked out there's some juicy ones today damn a bit of backgrounds i'm a high schooler and my brother is in elementary school he was being really mean to a four-year-old girl who was friends with our family friends and happened to be over at our house me and my brother were having an argument a few days later as usual and in the heat of the arguments my mum inserted herself into it and told me to just stop talking i got mad so i told her about what my brother did to that four-year-old girl and my mom straight up denied it i know how my brother gets and how annoying he can be when my parents aren't there so i got mad and told her you're always telling us that you raised us the same so why did he grow up with no courtesy morals or respect and she got really really mad she told me how i had no respect and that she raised me to the best of her ability and i had no right to criticize that i feel really bad about what i said and i do have a bit of an anger problem edits some people were asking for my brother's age he's nine years old also judging from the results it seems like i'm the a-hole lol so what can i do to change and be a better brother so from all sides your mom is refusing to deal with the problem and changing this nine-year-old boy's attitude you're upset at your nine-year-old brother for bullying a four-year-old girl who was friends with family friends and this happened at your house and your mother didn't do anything about it she's upset at you for calling her out and not punishing the brother when i'm guessing that she punished you everyone sucks here in this situation there is no winning it's an endless circle of just crap and it all stems from the mother she's the epitome of a-hole in this situation she needs to learn to parent and crack down on behavior better if she's not punishing a nine-year-old for bullying a four-year-old in her own house that's the problem here you do seem like you have a bit of an anger problem with having a heated argument and then blowing up at your mother but you're young i can't exactly fault you for that unfortunately you were painted with the same stroke of being an a-hole because you need to sort that anger problem out and deal with things like a normal rational human being but i understand sometimes emotions do need to be charged for people to see right or wrong i hope that makes sense everyone sucks here there's a floor in asking your mother why did he grow up with no courtesy morals or respects your brother is in elementary school he has not grown up yet but your mother also needs to not be blind to your brother's behavior because if she ignores it he may still grow up with no courtesy morals or respect not the a-hole i don't really get why people are calling you the a-hole this is a really common problem in families it's what i like to call oldest child syndrome parents are way stricter and more on top of their first kid the second child is raised in a more lax manner that second child gets turned into an a-hole because they never really got taught right from wrong elementary school is old enough to treat people with respect and when you're siblings you argue at every age until you're full out adults i didn't stop getting into arguments with my brothers until i was like 16 or 17. whereas siblings lol we always found something to bicker about your mom is treating him differently than you and it makes you angry because you have to live with the rude brats and they just don't see it because they have parent goggles on if their parenting was really the same he wouldn't be rude and disrespectful because by elementary age you should know better posted by user silverad 3839 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to replace my girlfriend's bras that i ruined my girlfriend and i each do our own laundry however sometimes she'll throw her clothes in my baskets i've asked her multiple times not to put her stuff in my basket and i want her i don't sort through my laundry before doing it yesterday i was doing my laundry and when i took everything out of the dryer i noticed two of her bras were in there i laid them on the bed not thinking anything of it later while at the store i get five or six text messages blowing up at me about ruining her bras i guess they were not washed on the correct cycle or temperature or something they looked okay to me but i don't know about bras so i trust her judgment that they are ruined however she wants me to pay nearly 200 bucks to replace them which i am refusing from my perspective i've asked her not to put her clothes in my hamper and i think that if i threw something expensive and delicate in her hamper and it was ruined i would blame myself not her so am i the a-hole if i refuse to pay look that's some pretty solid logic there i'll give you that one this is a situation where i'll give you a pass honestly she's the one that ruined her own bras not you you've also asked her multiple times to stop putting her stuff in your basket because you knew that something like this might happen and now it has happened she can't be all shocked pikachu face that it has happened that's kind of how this train of thought works is to keep up this is an unfortunate consequence of her actions she has to accept that take the 200 loss and move on that's all i have to say about this one i don't think opie is the a-hole they shouldn't be expected to look through their entire washing load just to be sure that someone hasn't put their 200 bra in there as anyone would that's just tedious and annoying not the a-hole you're not the a-hole but i'm still gonna do a psa for the guys since the price of bras often seems frivolous and luxurious to them and it often ends up being thought of as well if you want to spend that much money on underwear it's your own damn fault busty women don't spend 100 bucks on a bra to look sexy that's just an added bonus if a woman is busty a cheap bra is often very hard to find probably because you haven't tried more than one before you realize why you would rather want the 100 one it hurts like hell on both boobs back and neck if a bra isn't the right size and isn't made sturdy enough to actually support the breasts and also spread out the weight on both shoulders and back women pretty soon realize that a 100 bra is a bargain compared to the price of sick days chiropractors drugs etc and let me tell you these bra makers are goddamn engineering geniuses had they built the titanic it would have never gone down a good bra makes such a difference you need to have big breasts to understand how big it is pro tips for the guys i'm not one to spend a fortune on clothes as often my bra will be more expensive than the rest of my outfit put together it being pretty frilly lacy and blingy is just a pretty bonus to entice men to be willing to spend this amount of money on underwear psa over but due to the above most women protect our bras better than even our own children we do not throw it in a hamper without making sure the people washing it knows how to do it properly if we're looking for an adrenaline rush we'll still sneak it in but put it in a washing bag a separate bag to protect it from getting entangled with the rest of the clothes which is often enough to protect it it's a god damn expensive lesson and now hopefully she has learned it but if you are a brave man give her a new bra for her birthday it might get you killed it might get you laid but the adrenaline rush of not knowing will show you how women feel when sneaking in bras in a man's hamper posted by user lemontite iv titled am i the a-hole for catfishing a relative my brother 21 tb and myself are twins we're not identical and we're not particularly that close we've mostly stayed out of each other's orbits since middle school four years ago tb was trying to hook up with faye but being the idiot that he is he gave her confusing instructions on how to sneak into our house which led to her accidentally going into my room instead of his since the lights were off she didn't notice that i wasn't tb until i woke up and nearly pissed myself in fright after she explained what she was doing in my house and why i was bottomless we kind of awkwardly chuckled after a few more jokes we ended up hooking up well because we were both hornball teenagers at the time for context faye had met my bro at a party she didn't attend our high school so neither of us had known each other tb wanted a one night stand for the next few months i only had contact with tb during the winter break as we went to different schools mum asked that both of us do food shopping and while there i saw faye i was having one of those moments where you recognized someone but don't know where from i heard tb say don't bother dude she's a tease apparently after that night faye never responded to tb's text so he never knew a light bob switches on and i just tell him that i'll go get the chicken while my bro was distracted i made my way over to faye to have that awkward hey do you remember me talk we exchanged numbers and after becoming friends we began dating 10 months after reconnecting now let me emphasize this again we shared the womb but we are in no way friends after my twin brother's first year of college he ended up transferring to another school that was two hours away where he met the girl that he is engaged to in jan my parents hosted a dinner to celebrate the bros engagement as soon as twin brother saw faye he pulled me to the side and started questioning why she was here i told him that she's my girlfriend he said fine and walked off after we ate dinner twin brother went to the den and got plastered when i walked in twin brother gives me a dirty look and starts talking about my girlfriend calling her a bunch of nasty names and saying that he almost had her i got sick of this real quick and ended up telling him what really happened that night as i was grabbing my crap to leave months after that awful dinner girlfriend got a notification on her phone twin brother sent her a dm through instagram demanding that she meet him i asked for permission to continue the conversation as her i ended up talking to twin brother for months collecting evidence and photos last friday i contacted julia and i sent her all the screenshots and photos from my conversation with him our older brother called me saying that i tricked twin brother and that he would never have said all those things if i hadn't let him on my stance is that his first message already incriminated him because he asked faye to meet him to talk when they have no relationship so am i the a-hole for catfishing my twin brother edit one just clarifies the twin brother's name edit two one of the comments stated that i should add this for more context twin brother is a serial cheater that would have been caught eventually also my replies to twin brother weren't in any way sexual twin brother is under the impression that when a girl says no she's playing hard to get that's one of the reasons why this went on for so long for example twin brother sends a picture of his packer me as faye say gross and he's like my bad i meant to send that to someone else but since you already have seen it dot dot dots and i say again stop then he says send me something back you owe me god damn i think it only deserves an everyone's sexier judgment from not the a-hole because you catfished your brother and you stole his girl when she came into the house kind of a dick move to do but then again he is way more trash for cheating on his fiancee and getting exposed for it i don't think the catfishing on instagram is the problem i think the fact he's a cheater is the problem and the fact that you stole his girl early on when you could have just said hey no i'm not my brother my brother's in the other room obviously everyone's different some people are going to applaud you for stealing the girl good on you bro good job you got it but still a dick move everyone sucks here kinda odd that he would be so hung up on fey if he was engaged but i don't think you should have catfished him to ruin his engagement though so everyone sucks here more on his part because he was so obviously willing to cheat on his fiancee he didn't have to take the bait i think it's more of he's upset that someone dared choose me over him he's a serial cheater so she would have found out sooner or later everyone sucks here please consider taking up a constructive use of your time like knitting or macrame or cleaning your baseboards or looking at puppies on live webcams or making an opera based in the works of jimmy buffett or learning all you need to know about your new career of inseminating turkeys or constructing a candle out of your own carefully gathered ear wax you and your brother sound like massive a-holes who deserve each other using an innocent bystander as a prop to get supposed revenge isn't cool and that's the best case reading of your actions and even if you were indeed just trying to help you've given him the perfect reason to explain it away with your extreme shadiness please learn to knit instead next time also please leave and then i catfished my brother for months pretending to be a sexy girl who wants his dick is a plot that you need to leave on pornhub instead of trying it out irl that's a weird and not healthy amount of dedication and efforts that you put into being a sexy lady for your brother my replies were shutting him down not pretending to be a sexy lady as you put it and why did you need to do this for literal months actual honest to f months of your life spent catfishing your brother and getting dick pics from him months dude months of your time you're not getting back because whatever portion of it you spent on this was masterminding access to the visage of yon broseph's dick months okay i guess when you put it that way that's kind of a dick move that's it's funny when you put it like that he's so dedicated and getting so many pictures of his brother that's so disgusting he could have just got the initial evidence he wanted and had it done straight away but he chose to just string it along that's really weird posted by user fluffybeautiful401 titles am i the a-hole for calling my mom a crappy parents whenever she brags about having me at 20. 18 female here no lie i hate my mum she had me young at 20 after only dating my dad for a month they got married quickly after but that was the dumbest choice ever because for five years i experienced them screaming at each other and my mum bringing a different guy over when dad was at work at six my mum got pregnant with my half-sister while still married to my dad my dad raised my half sister and me despite knowing she wasn't his kid until my sister's real dad came back into the picture and married my mum she took me from my dad the only guy who actually showed me love and took him for all his money that was never spent on me i know both my mum and stepdad hated me and i ruined their perfect picture family they both told me that growing up geez anyways growing up my mum has bragged about having me so young she was the young stunning parent at my graduation and now that i'm an adult she's still young enough to go out and have a good time by the time i was 16 i was so freaking sick of her saying this she even told my aunt to have kids super early because in my mom's words it's so much easier and fulfilling which is a load of crap i'm not saying that people can't be good parents at 20 but i think that's one of the main things that screwed up my childhood and the reasons my mom provide a bullcrap at 16 i started telling everyone who hears my mom's bull crap not to listen to her because she was a crappy parent especially when i was little this obviously humiliated the crap out of her and i pretty much told her i'll stop being honest if she stops bragging about how great it was that she had me at 20. am i wrong though i can't actually blame you for that one that kind of sounds horrible to be going through everything in this sounds horrible to you has she no self-awareness to see that oh i'm abusing my kid huh maybe she doesn't like nah nah i'm gonna keep abusing them saying that you ruined my picture perfect family this is your fault i can't be to blame for any of this i cheated on your father and i left him for someone else god this is no no it's not my fault you're the reason you're the reason i don't know what game she's playing saying that everyone should have kids at 20 because she's obviously living in fantasyland good on you for cutting that off and telling everyone like it is she deserves to be humiliated for that for everything she's put you through and put your father through not the a-hole your mother is utilizing you as a way to gain fame and she recommends something that takes work commitment and time to do your mom was being a crap parent before you were 16 and is now acting like she supported you through your entire life not the a-hole but i don't think this is really about your mum having you at 20 so much as it is your mom being a crappy parent at any age so you know you can call her out about it anytime you want not just when she's talking about having kids at an early age can confirm my mum had me at 17 and married my dad two months before i was born and had my last brother at 24. she was a fantastic parent and she still has everything i want to be as a parent posted by user should i have to buy ring titles am i the a-hole for refusing to buy my fiance an engagement ring this is gonna sound weird but stick with me please my fiancee and i got engaged and when i proposed i hadn't bought the ring yet because i wanted to pick one out with her so last night we were discussing everything you know basic stuff and she informed me that she wanted to keep her last name that really bothers me but i can't control her etc i told her so but she insisted but then she started to ask about when we're gonna get the ring and etc i thought about it and then i told her i actually don't think we should use an engagement ring because that's a sexist tradition too i said that if she wanted to she could just go out and get herself something but that i didn't really care this upset her for whatever reason and we thought about it and is still mad at each other she and my sister think i'm being petty but i don't am i the a-hole you don't just sound petty you sound blind to the wants and needs of your partner just because you don't believe in these sexist traditions doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't believe in them there's a lot of people that would still like the stereotypical things to happen and that includes getting an engagement ring uh i can see why she's upset at you for this and it honestly seems like you are holier than thou and you are actually gaslighting her for this how dare you be upset this is sexist this is your fault now you're mad at her for being upset about the engagement ring and you're not going to apologize for what you've done because you believe that your viewers better then even though this is a marriage and you guys are supposed to be there for each other you're really starting this off on the wrong foot you're the a-hole edits i shouldn't have posted this no one is taking my feelings that the engagement rings are sexist into account edits my fiance said that she thought that bride's taking the grim's last name was sexist and that's why she didn't want to do it edits you idiots can stop commenting my fiancee and i came to a compromise she'll take my last name and we will do the ring thing you kind of just make it sound like you got your way in the end she's not allowed to have her own beliefs and you know way to go about this marriage no my way or the highway this is the compromise this is the compromise we decided she's happy she's really happy with this marriage okay do you really feel like it's a sexist tradition or did you refuse the ring because you're upset that she doesn't want to change her name edits if you're upset that your fiance chose not to take your last name and wanted to give her some payback by not getting her engagement ring then you're the a-hole this is the important question if you were refusing to buy the ring to spite her you are petty if you genuinely believe the tradition is sexist it's not petty but based on the fact that you planned on buying her one i'm gonna say that you were just being petty because her not changing her last name upsets you you're the a-hole for holding the ring over her head and being petty you're the a-hole you stated first that you didn't initially buy a ring because you wanted her to be a part of the process and to pick it out yet after she says she doesn't want to change her last name you change your mind and now you don't want to ring at all that's petty and it seems like you did it to belittle her choice to keep her maiden name this opie actually did intend on buying her one and is being very petty then he goes on to say no one is taking his feelings into consideration about the engagement rings being sexist it's a cop-outs you're the a-hole posted by user liferadish473 titled am i the a-hole for telling my sister her ex-best friend was justified in cutting her off so my sister and her ex-best friend recently ended their lifelong friendship and my sister has been in hysterics so her ex-best friend has been in a relationship with this guy for three years she recently found out he's been cheating on her and to make matters worse he brought the side chick around his girlfriend as his cousin so she never suspected a thing or thought that it was weird when they would hang out the side chick was the one to make the cousin idea up so she could have closer access to the boyfriend without a rousing suspicion now that's a screwed up situation to be in when my sister's ex-best friend confided in her that she was ticked at the both of them my sister told them that she has no right to be angry at the other woman because it was her boyfriend that owed her the loyalty and that she's insecure for hating on both of them equally well her ex-best friend cut her off in my opinion she's justified like it's about morals don't tell your best friend she's insecure for getting mad at the other woman it's not like she stayed with the boyfriend and hates the other girl she ended the thing if i was her i would be disgusted by the both of them and if my best friend started that he owes you loyalty not the other party i would cut them off too i told my sister this and she called me an a-hole and that i'm insecure too i told her she's giving the side chick energy and she got mad if the side chick didn't know that he was cheating and that he had a girlfriend it wouldn't warrant this situation but she did know and yet she's treating this side chick like she's innocent why how thick are you come on open that brain up we've got some neurons left firing in there surely you deserve to be cut off by that friend if she's going to try and get some you know help from you some mental emotional help that's all she wants and you're saying ah you know what ah you've got no right to be angry at the other woman it's not her fault you're just insecure what's wrong with you yeah i wouldn't be surprised if my friend cut me off if i said that to them that's a terrible thing to say her ex-best friend deserves better and this sister needs to learn not the a-hole op that ex-best friend was justified in every way not the a-hole if the side chick was oblivious to boyfriend's relationship that's one thing bff would be wrong to be angry at her in that case this chick knew exactly what she was doing and to make it worse created a relationship that would allow bff to actually build a friendship with her to potentially become a confidant that is screwed up and bff has all right and reason to be hating on them both that's not indicative of insecurity that's just good old human decency you're right about the side chick energy i can't think of any other reason to defend that behavior which is essentially what she's doing yeah my sister told me that her ex best friend and the cousin sidechick would all group facetime and discuss their relationships the entire time the cousin was discussing her relationship problems she was changing the name but was talking about my sister's ex-best friend's boyfriend isn't that so screwed up that is straight up psychotic it's super shady to date a guy already in a relationship but to i don't know flaunt it that way it's a common courtesy if you steal a men's car you don't drive it past his house come on not the a-hole i hope your sister doesn't grow up to be the other woman in her own relationships psa if the girl knows the guy is in a relationship they are both a-holes the word homewrecker exists for a reason i mean yes okay in this situation the side chick is a piece of work but the word homewrecker is a sexist stupid word used to blame men's crappy actions on women instead of themselves i totally understand why op's sisters said what she said if the friend was sitting around talking about that stupid skank and not talking crap about the boyfriends but there's a time and place to call out sexism and it's not when someone's crying over a breakup this there are no homewreckers just cheaters and a-holes the only home wrecker is the one with a home to wreck posted by user daisy cherry blossoms titled am i the a-hole for not telling my ex i got pregnant i 28 female was with my ex-husband for about six years during this time we were trying for a baby but had no success about four years into our marriage our marriage had a rough patch my ex had stress had work and slept with his co-worker to relieve it he confessed to me rather quick and a week later they sat me down and told me they were expecting a child i was an idiot back then and so i felt like i should forgive him because i truly believe he loved me and i thought i had no one it wasn't my ex's family treated me like their own but my ex's supposed daughter was the apple of their eye as a result of that my ex's co-worker was a frequent presence in our lives they felt like they had to include the mum of their grandchild for everything too and she made her way into every family picture and memory it didn't help that i suspected that the co-worker had feelings for my ex and floated with him when she can people thought that she was my ex's wife constantly and i finally had enough when during the baby girl's first birthday party when i was told to take a picture of my ex his mistress his daughter and his parents and it did not include me it hit me that i was now treated as the other woman and i realized that i deserved more than this bullcrap i filed for divorce a few months later and left it was the hardest time of my life but i ended up getting a promotion at work and met this sweet wonderful guy fast forward to now me and my boyfriend are madly in love and i gave birth to an adorable baby girl that i considered a miracle baby i got pregnant with my boyfriend like three months after dating him and i thought that it was strange that this could happen since my previous failed attempts with x and had thought that i was the infertile one it crossed my mind then that maybe he was the infertile one and he only believed mistress was pregnant with his child because they were having an affair i didn't say anything though because it was not my place anymore however my boyfriend was so happy about my daughter's birth and posted it on facebook and tagged me in the post i was still friends with my ex-sister-in-law on facebook and she saw the post she called me up and said that she was hurt that i didn't let her know that i could actually get pregnant and the lack of child during my first marriage could be my ex's fault he took the paternity test the poor baby girl was never my exes the co-worker apparently was dating this terrible guy during the time she slept with my ex and didn't know who the child's father was so she just strung my ex along because she had feelings for him and thought he would be the best father for her childs now my ex blames me for not telling him that i was pregnant way before and him having to father this girl he's doing pretty bad now and i can't help but feel guilty like i should have told him a lot of you guys haven't heard this one before i have read it in the past but there's an update so i'm going to rehash it for the people who haven't read it before my take on this is that opie is definitely not the a-hole they are not the ones who cheated they gave that man a second chance by sticking around which you know it's not the best idea but a lot of people do it and no judgement on that he's the one that prioritized his mistress over op and the family did the same i don't think there is a universe that exists where op is the a-hole for not telling him that they got pregnant contact was cuts bridges were burned and that was that you can't be mad that you didn't get a paternity test and you're not the father you made your choice so not the a-hole edits i didn't realize that i could edit my post even after the 3000 character limits okay so first of all i keep seeing that people have seen other posts like mine and some youtube video which i found down in the comments it's by this guy da man called husband gets side chick pregnant what wife does will shock you if so i'm upset that other people have had similar situations as me and that some people find the situation so hilarious that they make a video out of it i've also never posted on reddit before i had a previous account for browsing not posting i don't think i have to prove my story and i honestly posted this not to seek validation that my ex supposedly is the worst ever but to gain perspective since my ex and his family were my family and close confidants for a large period of my life we were pretty close and i had promised to keep in touch after the divorce which they were super upset about but i really couldn't after everything that happened between us they are now super ticked at me for the divorce and for being complicit in my ex taking on the expenses of his not daughter and forming a paternal connection with her for longer than he should have really speaks wonders about that family doesn't it oh my god edits so here's what's been happening right now i haven't spoken to them after this and have been avoiding my ex's calls he texted me saying that he's sorry and overreacted and feeling guilty about prioritizing people who were never really family over me i only replied with asking how his daughter is because even though she isn't biologically his she's still his girl she seems like an adorable kiddo and adores her dad sad face my ex's mistress is able to support the girl financially so my ex won't contribute to that but he says that he's still gonna see her every month because he feels morally obligated to i feel bad for the girl so much because she seems to have lost her family unit her dad grandparents and cousins updates am i the a-hole for not telling my ex i got pregnant i got messages asking me to updates and i'm now frequently on reddit so i thought why not first things first i'm getting married my boyfriend proposed a few weeks ago and will be tying the knot once this whole mess of a year is over i know a lot of people here said that my ex's family is toxic and i shouldn't keep in touch with them but i did contact them to tell them about my engagements it went well my ex-mother-in-law cried and told me she was happy for me and apologized for everything she felt bad about what happens and promises to keep in touch with me my ex-sister-in-law also apologized for blowing up at me but she was just very overwhelmed by everything going on in her family's life i can sympathize and told her that all is forgiven this family is still super important to me but this felt more like closure and i'm at peace with my feelings now it's a chapter in my life that was bittersweet with a lot of great memories but is now closed i will always look back fondly but now it's time for me to move on the last i heard my ex's ex-child's question mark question mark is living with her mother and her biological father is now more involved in her life my ex stopped visiting altogether and doesn't seem to be in a great shape but i haven't inquired because i don't feel like it's my place anymore i wish him well and hopefully he's able to move on from this for those who messaged me saying that this is fake believe what you want to believe i don't really care anymore that you think this is from a youtube video i just hope that those who are reading this know that even though you were struggling are in tough times or just depressed with your life know that it will get better it happened to me and it happens to a lot of people you too are special and you too will achieve happiness don't give up on yourself do what is right if you think this is fake believe it so long as you get this message loud and clear mucho love to those who supported me love ya love heart emojis i'm very happy for you for what it's worth i've also kept in touch with the family of my ex when i was going to be in the area for work i contacted them and wanted to treat them to a nice dinner but my ex's mum insisted i stay with them for the weekend and let her cook for me she's a fantastic cook it was sweet because i'd really missed them and i wasn't sure how they felt since i'd ended things with their daughter there's nothing wrong with staying in contact with people who have become important to you posted by user tradition impressive 2 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to sell the place i bought with stripper money for several years i was a stripper i have no shame about what i did and only quit when i got a better job offer in the time i worked as a stripper i intentionally lived as cheaply as possible in a crappy little studio flat living off ramen wearing old clothes because my co-workers all told me that they were able to buy their own places on their income so long as they saved like crazy before i quote unquote retired i managed to outright buy myself a three-bedroom flat i rented out the other rooms for a while but i got sick of having roommates so now i have them up online for shorter stays but not to rent i met this guy about 18 months ago and we've been together since he knows about my employment history and he said that he has no issue with it though he did ask me to tell his family the white lie i occasionally use on my cv and stuff which is that i was a waitress which i kind of was to be honest a month ago we found out that i'm two months pregnant he says this is great news and we should move in together i assumed he'd be moving into my place because he rents his far smaller one-bedroom flat well i own mine and i have room for a baby's room while he doesn't also i really don't want to leave my flats it's my flats i love it i could see myself living here for the rest of my life and i don't want to lose the security of owning a flat and having to go back to paying rent or a mortgage each month however he then said that he didn't want to move into my place and said that i should sell it and we buy a place together i said that i like my place it means a lot to me and that i was able to buy it and it represents years of working my ass off scrimping and saving he then said that he understands all of that but we should be living together by the time the baby comes and he didn't want to live in my flats i asked him why not it's a great flat it's central to everything it's spacious it's got room for all his stuff there's a daycare in the building run and owned by another tenant and a school five minutes walk away the list goes on and he said that he didn't want to live in a flat that was bought with stripper money that really ticked me off and i told him no effing way am i selling my flats and that he never had an issue with my stripper money paying for this flat before now i said i wasn't giving up the security of owning a home for someone who tries to make me feel ashamed about something i don't feel ashamed of he said that his point is if i sold the flats then we could get a new place with the money from the sale i said wouldn't that still be stripper money and he said that's different and i asked how he then said he was going to his place because i can't talk to you when you're in this state he's gone back to his flat now and he's texted me saying that i'm overreacting and irrational and i need to think of this realistically rather than emotionally he says he wouldn't feel right raising a child in my flat knowing how i purchased it and selling and moving is the best idea of all of us not to mention the fact that he isn't on the deed because it's my place and it would never feel like our place because of this i feel like i might be the arse because i get why he might feel like it's just my place and i feel like i'm being too rigid in a time that we need to work together plus i spoke to my sister and she sided with him so two out of three people think i'm in the wrong here am i the a-hole no it seems apparent that he's just trying to get half of that uh property's value he's just trying to steal your money op if he's so upset about stripper money then i don't get why he's still with you he's happy to be with you but he's not happy that you're not giving him your money he's not happy that you are a stripper and he's gonna conceal that fact for the rest of your life doesn't really sound like you guys are compatible and yeah not the a-hole update on the off chance anyone sees this i dumped him there was a whole conversation and during the conversation he said that he didn't want to be a parent if i wasn't willing to do everything that he wanted including sharing a house deed plus staying together also at the start of the conversation i said what a few people suggested which was that i'd be willing to sell and split the house with him provided he paid 50 and he got very very angry very very quickly he also said a few other things so i don't know how it's all going to panned out just yet but it looks like i'm going to be a single mother updates am i the a-hole for refusing to sell the place i bought with my stripper money now for the updates because a lot of people have asked for one first off i dumped him he initially said that he doesn't want to be a parent if we're not a couple but earlier this week he told me that he wants majority custody so not only does he not have to pay child supports but if he gets majority then i end up paying him he actually said that that was his reasoning he also runs his own startup and admitted the startup is basically done for and he was hoping that when i sold my place i could also put a cash injection into his business with the money so basically this was all about the money for him and i have extensive documentation of all of this there's going to be a legal case but i've gotten legal advice and it looks like i'll be able to get soul custody which is what i intend to go for in the last couple weeks my sister has doubled down and is trying to get me to fix things with my ex because a baby should have a complete family so i've not been involving her in my pregnancy which she is furious about she also told our parents which i am furious about so we're not speaking right now i also want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my first post when i first posted between my boyfriend and my sister i was genuinely convinced that i was in the wrong so to have such an overwhelming supportive response really helped me realize that i shouldn't doubt myself so much and with that realization plus everything going on right now i've decided to go to therapy which i will be starting next week all in all the outcome of this is probably going to be me being a single mother in the flat iron and honestly pretty decent outcome i have to call crap to the baby needs a complete family a kid can have a mom and a dad and still have a dysfunctional family single parents two parents parents of the same sex it doesn't matter your ex sounds controlling and like a leech all the reasons he wants to be together or be a father are more for his benefits good luck to you opie and your baby it might be a long road ahead but you can do this you've made it this far seconded looking at ex-boyfriend here he doesn't seem interested in parenting at all rather he's in it for the money and security he expected opie to give him and he was pretty blatant about it too raising this kid as a single mother is absolutely better than raising it with this douche nozzle third opie ex-boyfriend is looking to monetize his relationships his behavior frankly sounds somewhat sociopathic i had a younger brother who lived this way and it eventually led to his demise be well and happy with your flats and childs you sound like a very capable and smart person best luck and happiness to you awesome i think people picked up pretty quickly what your boyfriend was about but i'm honestly puzzled by your sister's attitude honestly we didn't have the most stable home life growing up and she was really big on wanting a regular nuclear family as soon as she could build one so i think maybe our upbringing has translated into pushing and wanting this whole complete family as adults well that does make a bit of sense i'd like to think she's doing this from a place of love like seriously panicking that her niece and nephew are going to have a bad home life if you and the father are not together hopefully she comes to see that some people are better apart and you guys can mend your relationship i thought that too and i wanted it to be true but then she told our parents i was pregnant and until that point i believed it could be from a place of love but telling our parents about the baby is not coming from a good place or at best it's coming from a good but naive place they kicked me out when i was a teenager for no good reason she's trying to get me to mend fences with them and i've refused and of our whole extended family i'm only in touch with one sister her and one brother your sister is immature she has this idea of a perfect family and is incapable of understanding a single parent can also raise a child her involving your estranged parents is her trying to make you into a horrible person i think your sister has been a bad influence in your life just go low contact with her or at least try not to take her advice her first response after finding out that your boyfriend was using you for money is make it work what the hell your ex is an a-hole if his solution to raise capital for his startup is to scam his girlfriend he is destined to fail was he ever going to give you any equity for the investment lol no he was expecting me to sell my flats buy a new place put us both on the deed for the new place and put any extra cash into his business which would have just been his so he only wanted us to share things when it worked for him okay and i think that's where we're going to end today's episode guys as always i do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learn something from these stories just want to say a quick shout out to my patreon subscribers and my channel members you guys should be on the screen right now if you do see yourself i want you to give yourself a little pat on the back for being amazing and supporting me on this channel this uh little journey we're going on on the youtubes i really appreciate it and you guys enabled me to do all this amazing work so if you do see yourself i love your face and i'm happy to see you also guys if you want to pitch in your own support you don't have to but channel links are down in the description below to support the patreon the channel membership whatever you want to do it's kind of like tipping me if you feel like i'm doing a good job on this channel i will be opening up avenues for content on those in the future just right now i'm kind of bogged down and stuck in ireland but you know it is what it is anyway guys with that said i do hope you have a wonderful day today whatever you're up to i'd love to know down in the comments below i do hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to today tell me and i'll see you in the next episode guys bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 38,344

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: TfCjnPtj83o

Length: 120min 8sec (7208 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020