♪♪ >>ALL RIGHTS BOYS, MAIL HAS FINALLY ARRIVED. >>IT'S BEEN LIKE SIX MONTHS. >>YEAH, WE'RE BACKED FOR ALMOST A YEAR ACTUALLY, BUT OUR BOYS GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT. >>THANKS CAP'. >>NO PROBLEM. JUST REMEMBER, WE'RE SWITCHING POSTS AT 1600. >>"MATTHEW, MY SWEETHEART, "I MISS YOU SO MUCH. "I HOPE THAT YOU ARE BEING SAFE "AND PROTECTED OVER THERE. "THERE ISN'T A MOMENT THAT GOES BY I DON'T THINK OF YOU." THIS IS WHAT KEEPS ME GOING. >>YEAH. THAT'S SO TRUE. "MY DEAR LOUIS, "I RECEIVED YOUR WELCOME "LETTER A FEW DAYS AGO AND "IT SET MY HEART A FLUTTER. "MOTHER SAID SHE COULD "SEE ME GLOW BRIGHTER THAN A CHRISTMAS TREE." WOW. I'M SO LUCKY TO HAVE A GIRL LIKE THAT. >>I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I GOT A LETTER FROM MY GIRL. LISTEN TO THIS. "HEY JEREMY, "HOW ARE THINGS IN GERMANY? "THINGS HAVE BEEN GREAT HERE. "I MET A BOY NAMED KEVIN DAVIS. "HE'S AN AWESOME KID AND I "KNOW YOU'D REALLY LIKE HIM. "IT'S HARD, BUT I CAN'T "HELP THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT "HIM AND I DON'T THINK IT'S "FAIR TO YOU OR KEVIN THAT I KEEP WRITING TO YOU." [SNIFFLES] I UH, KIND OF WISH I HADN'T READ THAT OUT LOUD TO YOU. >>"MATT, HE'S HERE. HE'S FINALLY HERE." MY SON WAS BORN! >>HEY CONGRATULATIONS! >>OH! LOOK AT HIM! I'M ONE PROUD PAPA. >>"TO A WONDERFUL SON, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY. WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU." HEY- TEN DOLLARS! WOW! >>WHOA! NEXT TIME WE GO OUT YOU'RE BUYING. >>YEAH, SOUNDS GOOD TO ME. >>INTERNAL REVENUE SERVICE NOTICE OF AUDIT AND EXAMINATION SCHEDULE. I'M BEING AUDITED? >>YEAH, THEY'LL FIND YOU. "WE'RE PLEASED TO INFORM "YOU THAT THE COMMITTEE ON "ADMISSIONS HAS VOTED TO "OFFER YOU A PLACE IN THE HARVARD CLASS OF 1949!" >>HEY! >>"YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED "FOR A TWO WEEK TERM "OF JURY SERVICE BEGINNING ON AUGUST 15TH"? THIS IS EIGHT MONTHS AGO! >>"HONEY BEAR, "I BAKED YOU SOME DELICIOUS "COOKIES SO YOU COULD FEEL SOME WARMTH FROM HOME." THEY'RE STILL WARM! THAT WOMAN IS MAGICAL. >>"DEAR SON, "WE SENT YOU SOME OF THAT MILK FROM YOUR FAVORITE COW." [SCREAMS] [GAGS] THEY DIDN'T PACK THAT VERY WELL. "RESULTS OF MILITARY PHYSICAL: "FLAT-FOOTED, NOT RECOMMENDED FOR SERVICE"? I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE? "NOTICE TO VACATE PREMISES"? "GET INTERNET FOR 50 DOLLARS FROM COMCAST"? WHAT? "DEAR SON, "YOU'RE FAVORITE COW DIED. HERE'S SOME MEAT FROM HIM." [GAGS] WHY DO THEY KEEP SENDING ME PERISHABLE FOOD THROUGH THE MAIL? "MR. AND MRS. DAVID SMITH ARE "PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THE "MARRIAGE OF THEIR DAUGHTER KELLY TO KEVIN DAVIS"! NO! [SNIFFLES] "DEAR BROTHER, "YOUR INVESTMENTS HAVE MATURED. YOU'RE A MILLIONAIRE!" I'M A MILLIONAIRE GUYS! >>OH! >>I'M RICH! >>CONGRATULATIONS! >>YOU DESERVE IT MAN! >>"LOVE, YOUR SISTER JACQUELYN." I DON'T HAVE A SISTER NAMED JACQUELYN. >>YEAH, I THINK THAT'S ACTUALLY FOR ME. YOU CAN HAVE THIS THOUGH. >>I THINK YOU HAVE ONE MORE. >>"SIER-GERT PFVAT-" THIS IS IN GERMAN. >>I SPEAK GERMAN. "DEAR PRIVATE WARNER, "I WISH TO PERSONALLY THANK "YOU FOR SPARING MY LIFE "WHILE EN ROUTE TO BERLIN. "YOU SINGLEHANDEDLY "SAVED GERMANY. SIGNED, HERR FURER." YOU RAN INTO HITLER? >>I THOUGHT IT WAS CHARLIE CHAPLIN. >>UH, HEY. THANKS FOR- THANKS FOR WATCHING THAT AND UH, DON'T FORGET TO SUBSCRIBE AND TO UH, LEAVE A NICE COMMENT FOR- FOR ME. AT THE BOTTOM. OH, THAT'S A NICE COMMENT. WAIT, NO, THAT'S FOR JASON. UM, THAT'S ANOTHER- OH, THAT'S JUST SPAM. UM... >>WARNER! GET OUT OF HERE. YOU'RE BREAKING THE CAMERAS. ALL RIGHT BOYS. LET'S PLAY SOME CARDS. >>OKAY CAP'.
