Career Placement Test

[CHIMES] >>YES! MY CAREER PLACEMENT RESULTS SAY I AM GOING TO BE A DOCTOR. I KNEW IT! >>WELL THAT'S GREAT MALLORY. WHAT DOES IT SAY IN THE DESCRIPTION? >>UM, IT SAYS, "86 PERCENT MATCH. "THAT I ENJOY HELPING "PEOPLE AND I HAVE A STRONG INTEREST IN LEARNING." [CHIMES] >>COOL, AFRICA SAFARI GUIDE. [CHIMES] >>DOLPHIN TRAINER! AWESOME. [CHIMES] >>SEWAGE WORKER. OH MAN. MY DAD WAS RIGHT. >>NOW REMEMBER, THESE TESTS DON'T PREDICT THE FUTURE THEY JUST REFLECT YOUR INTERESTS. >>YOU'RE INTERESTED IN SEWAGE? >>WELL, NO MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE. >>I'M NOT INTERESTED AT ALL. >>OKAY MAYBE A LITTLE MORE THAN OTHER PEOPLE, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE IT MY CAREER. >>WELL WHAT DOES THE DESCRIPTION SAY? >>UM... >>99 PERCENT MATCH. YOU ENJOY SEWAGE. >>UH, ENJOY IS A STRONG WORD OKAY? I DON'T WANT TO WORK IN SOCIETY'S SEWERS. I MEAN, CAN YOU IMAGINE TAKE YOUR DAUGHTER TO WORK DAY? >>NO WORRIES, THIS SAYS YOU PROBABLY WON'T HAVE KIDS. >>WHAT? THAT IS OFFENSIVE TO ALL SEWAGE WORKERS. >>OH, NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR JOB. IT'S JUST YOU'RE NOT VERY ATTRACTIVE. >>WOW THAT THING IS REALLY ACCURATE. >>ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT. I'M CHANGING SOME ANSWERS. [CHIMES] >>OH LIBRARIAN! I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE. [CHIMES] >>WHAT DOES IT SAY THIS TIME MATT? >>ASSISTANT METER MAID. APPARENTLY I DON'T QUALIFY FOR A HEAD METER MAID POSITION, BUT ACCORDING TO THIS I'M A GOOD MATCH FOR THE JOB BECAUSE MY BODY WILL FIT EASILY INTO THE TINY METER MAID CARS. >>MAN, THIS THING REALLY KNOWS US. >>NO IT DOESN'T KNOW ME! ALL RIGHT? I'M GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL. RUN MY OWN BUSINESS AND BE MY OWN BOSS. [CHIMES] >>MINE JUST SAYS, "MATT'S BOSS." OH NO! DOES THAT MEAN I'M GOING TO BE IN CHARGE OF THE SEWER PEOPLE? >>SEWAGE WORKERS ADAM! WHICH I'M NOT GOING TO BE EITHER. I'M JUST CLARIFYING. I AM GOING TO BE A... [CHIMES] >>SKETCH COMEDIAN, IS THAT A REAL JOB? >>NO. >>THIS IS AWFUL. [CHIMES] >>MINE SAYS FOREST RANGER! [CHIMES] >>NEGLIGENT MAN WHO STARTS FOREST FIRES? >>OKAY, YOU'RE A MONSTER MATT! >>NO! STACEY! COME ON! WHO WOULD DO THAT FOR A LIVING? >>I DON'T KNOW, HOW ABOUT A CLAN OF SEWAGE PEOPLE! >>NO! I AM BARELY INTERESTED IN THE SEWERS, ALL RIGHT? HERE I WILL JUST CHANGE MY ANSWERS UNTIL SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS. [CHIMES] HIGH SCHOOL MASCOT UNDER STUDY. WOW. [CHIMES] SPOTTED OWL POACHER. [CHIMES] WEIRD MALE SECRETARY. WHY COULDN'T IT JUST SAY SECRETARY? >>NOW, REMEMBER MATT, THIS DOESN'T DETERMINE YOUR FUTURE. YOU CAN STILL BE WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO BE. >>BUT THIS THING SPECIFICALLY SAYS THAT I'M AVERAGE. [CHIMES] >>BELOW AVERAGE. >>NO MATTER HOW I ANSWER, IT KNOWS I'M NOT CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS. WHAT PLACE IS THERE IN THIS WORLD FOR A MAN WHO IS GROSSLY UNQUALIFIED? [CHIMES] POLITICIAN.

Channel: Studio C

Views: 8,618,646

Keywords: Studio C, BYU Television (TV Network), BYUtv, BYU, Brigham Young University (Organization), Career Placement, Test, Placement, HR, Working, classroom, Homeschooling (Issue), funny, spoof, parody, Comedy, college, humor, college humor, Funny Or Die (Organization), SNL, Saturday Night Live (TV Program), Matt Meese, Jason Gray, Mallory Everton, Whitney Call

Id: y5Lfa_zLD1Q

Length: 3min 59sec (239 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 14 2014