Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome to Sneak Thief So if you remember "A Very Organized Thief" I don't think this has to do anything with that game it's only tangentially related and I'm gonna make an assumption that it's kinda similar and I don't know if that's true *singsong* Don't look at me! I'm not sure of anything! Ok but either way, like, the idea is kinda similar so I'm gonna play the tutorial or at least when I was looking at it, it was like kinda similar maybe you go to a place and ya steal stuff, and that was kinda what, ya know- Ohhh, press space to jump! It's like the Half Life tutorial, way back when! Oh look at me! Oh, look at me go! I'll take whatever the hell these are! Sure, gold bars! I'm gonna believe you about that! Man, you get seven of those, you'd be set for- HELLO... Oh GOD NO! Oh-ho-ho god, NO!! Oh god, NO! He was so happy! I got gold BARS! You want me to MURDER these people! I know what you want! AGGGHH! Why do I gotta start off with a moral dilemma? Alright, sure. *gun clicking* Or maybe this, like, isn't at all what this was supposed to be, It was supposed to be "these are the instructors" and it's like Hey! Check out these cool fire- WHATAYA DOING? OH GOD NO! NOT MY FACE! *shot* Oh. *shooting* OOOGGHH! *sobs* *sniff* Oooohooohooohoo.... Ho ho ho... *shots * *sad laughter* *sniff* *sad laughter* Oh no.... Oh NOOOO.... Oh no.... *several shots* Oh no -hohoho Ohhh Ohhhhhhh *shooting* WOOOOW... *giggles*
That is a lot *shot* Oh my god... Holy shit. This game-- I lllove it. Oh I can-- Oh, I can aim- Lemme really get the bottoms of those feet. Is there any part of you that does not have a bullet hole? WELL NOT ANYMORE. Good god, the wump on that gun glad they actually caught the reality of the gun, here-- K, if you have collected enough money you will be able to leave in the escape vehicle. Alright. Okay. I did it. Let's go on a home invasion that I imagine is gonna end in horrific murder and I'm gonna be a terrible person Hey, I can't get caught if every one that ever saw me is dead OOooH boy! Ok , so there's my escape vehicle huh they'll never see me coming I'm gonna barge though that fuckin' door *chuckles*and then everyone's gonna- oh it's locked god damn it they've thwarted me *Mumbles* I guess I'll have to go around Can I cut the power is that a logical thing that I can do? *surprised* OOOooh! Ok, so 0,0 uhh huhh 3,2 ok 3,2 Noo that would be 3,1 SSSssshit oh THAT'S 0,0 hang on I gotta do that again [Alarm going off] BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH I FUCKED UP HOLY SHIT ♪ Didn't see that that was there ♪, ok How 'bout-- how 'bout a little bit of 3,3 No that--Aww fuck it FUCK THIS RESET IT I can't do it right ok let's try this again It's a good thing that they put the code right here Boink!! ok 1,2,3 1,2 boink 1,2,1 1,1,2 Hhyyeah hhhell yeahhh! Alarm cut off! they'll never see me coming now... Oh-hoh! Cans of beans? The most valuable of stealables. Okay this looks exactly like "A Very Organised Thief" Chica! Good God you startled me! Pick up weapon? I don't wanna! *sniffs* I don't wanna murder! I don't wanna murder. Why must you make me murder? aaAAahhh! Don't murder! I'll take that, I'll take that, I'll just stuff that in my back butt-cheeks you know, I got an infinitely spacious butthole. I can fit just about anything up in there. *laughs nervously* I've never been tested to the full limits of... Eww Bottle of wine, vase, I'll take it. uh... Priceless bottles of wine that they leave out on the... ...shelf. This is so Very Organised Thief, this is a hundred percent, Ooh! Golden skull... *chuckles* Okay... That doesn't make any sense at all. Oh, I gotta really make some space in my man-cave for THIS one. Okay, there we go. Take baseball bat, that's good, it's not a weapon. And I just pushed that frickin' thing into the ether there, through the wall. Alright, upstairs. Hope no-one's sleeping! Boy that would be a mistake! Oh, a bathroom. They got some valuables in here? Priceless toilet? Maybe? Why do they have another living-room upstairs, that's bizarre. Bank documents? Hell yeah. Oh what's that? Huh? Let's swing-swong at that. Hey can you... can you show me exactly what's on there? I wanna know real bad. Oohh huh... 8647 huh? Is that a code to a safey-wafey? Oh-ho someone tryin' to hide something from me? Oh good, they're not in bed. Well... I said 'THEY', there's only... there's only a one-person bed, so... guess I'm not really....concerned about that uh oh someone's about to get whumped who wants to get whumped? I'm scared. I'm actually kinda scared. I'm like "don't come in here". Are they there? OHH there's more bed-roooooms ohhhh I can still murder them where ya at? huh? They'll never see me coming They'll never see me coming *more nervous laughter* You'd think they'd be a little bit suspicious why do they have gold bars in their goddamn thing? *laughs* 8647 that was it right? ok here we go. 8 6 4 7 glad that was the extremely beepy one I wouldn't want those light beeping things ok I'm outta here baby I bet they're in that room so they'll never-- well ok they walked right in the front door what a bunch of idiots! Ha! what a bunch of losers They NEVER saw me coming! what a bunch of a-holes! totally ignorant and stupid oh good the bank's easy? pffff don't I know it? let's get this going man what a bunch of dilllwe- OH a police officer? ha what a loser alright I'm scoping out this -- umm maybe I can bribe this guy hey buddy! hey hey buddy hey hey buddy hey! hey you're not- you're not like those faceless mannequin people I murdered before can you help me? I'm pleading with you here my you have Beautiful eyes (sexy music) and your chiseled jaw is so sensual and delightful I love the way your hair looks like plastic you remind me of the Ken dolls that I used to "play" with as a child would you like to play dress up with me? One more time? please.. call me "Barbie" CALL ME BARBIE (Record scratch, Music stops) ok anyway sorry about that. alright ok don't mind me. I'm gonna go into this bank and uh "make a withdrawal" *nervous chuckle* I'm gonna deposit some bullets into the people in there. This is normal activity I'm normal human nothing wrong going on here. Hello sir. please give me money You look like my boxing coach alright Don't mind me sir, you're waiting on nothing heh ohh ohh ok oh is this for everybody? *nervous voice* Don't mind me... Just meandering- DONT MIND ME Apparently this is ok I'll take this heh I mean they're never gonna find it up my butthole so I guess I'm gonna be ok DOOT DOO DOO-DOO-DOO They don't know anything has been going on. I see a ladder outside I'm gonna make my way down there Boy it's hard to waddle with all these paintings up my butt, but You know I'm gonna make it manage somehow HOOH OHH JUST GOTTA SQUEEZE HOH I should've done more squats in school uegh eughhhh god oh why is it wet? eughhhhhhhhhhhh ok anyway enough disgusting bulllshit ooh cut all power? that sounds good oh no oh what happen? Did all power go gone? no apparently not ok hebedep boop a doo where the hell is this going? what the hell do they have an attic? where do they have an attic? That's weird Well I don't Know! What's the password? Hi *alarm sounds* ahh ohh wasn't me sorry about that didn't do it, it wasn't me, don't mind me don't mind me don't mind me don't mind me it's nothing don't worry about it. It's not- it's nothing It's fine. it's totally cool oh my god is someone robbing you? I-I-I don't know what to do! oh I'm so scared OW I'm so scared! AHHH Oh right in the face. I was trying to surrender but you happened to shoot me in the eye alright so the moral of the story is don't- don't do that ok so somewhere in this bank there's probably a code and it's not in there, there's just a bunch of money over there but there must be there must be something in here that no one's gonna know about ahh it's under the book isn't it? ohh it's so under that book! if I could just if I could just somehow ughh if I could just move that book if I could just move that book just oh there we go passwords bond, lies, cars, back, dogs, bank, cash, band, cool, shot, cram, mega, book ok and I'm gonna remember it by taking a picture of it because I can't remember anything ok so it's probably one of those computer type do-daddies that um you you get it and you do the thing and then it gives you a correct number of letters because that would be really convienent and definitely secure to have in a bank ok so I got four tries at this bitch bond, lies, cars, back, bank, cash, band, cool, shot, cram, mega, and book so the b words seem to be the best so I'm gonna try bbbbb bank eh eh eh eh ah so it's an A but it's not a B so it's either cash or cars so it's c-ccaaaaasshh *beep* HEY HOOHOOH OF COURSE IT'S CASH cause I'm gonna get a lotta OHHO AH OH YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU PLEASE AND THANK YOU OH PLEASE AND THANK YOU Get inside my rectum OHH THERE'S MORE There's so much more Good God I'm not gonna be able to press E enough to shove this I'm gonna need more butt space ehhk ok alright ok now that I've been encumbered properly let's get these watches up in there. whadda we got oh more goldbars I suppose I can take some geh gehrr geh ok yeah we did it! anything behind the counter? NOPE I guess I'm all done! It would probably be a bad idea to go out that door because that probably leads to something that would set off some kind of alarm. oh no it's actually above where does that door lead? NO IT'S ACTUALLY BELOW IT'S ACTUALLY BELOW I REMEMBER THAT GOES DOWNSTAIRS AHH MY LEGS ~ WOW I have over a million dollars Inside of my many cavities HOOOOOOH YEAH I don't feel well. ok that's good alright so that was "home invasion" and "bank" those were the only two EASY levels so let's do A normal level let's do a normal one let's see what it got for normal I don't know if it's gonna be hard I bet it's not I'm just too good of a thief look at me go OH WOW This is quite the house you got here I suppose I can't just knock on the front door can I? nooo it's locked pick up a weapon anybody home? ha belele beblehbleheheh bleleleblele ha bleh ha bleh It was your fault for leaving a hammer right out in front eh guh guh open up guh I can't exactly crawl through these but at least I can do some vandalism that's almost as good as robbing alright fine I'm going around buh ok oh hi! OH YOURE GONNA GET IT HEP DE WHOA WAIT WHOA hey whoa OWWW OWWW OWWW OWW *laughing* OWW that was the silliest whap fight I've ever had alright let's try that again apparently there's a guy patrolling in the back yard I did not know this alright OH well that's convenient I guess I'm in heh hacker voice I'M IN What is that oh it's just a light okay dij- really their back door is j-just WIDE open all the time? that doesn't seem LOOOOGICAL ok though nice house oh so nice gold vase GOLD vase that's something that everyone has SILVER VASE Worth half as much as the gold one that doesn't make any sense eh hemmm anybody home? anybody? HAHHH WHOA JESUMS WHOA WAIT WHOA WAYWOWAYWO YOU CAN'T CATCH WHAT YOU CAN'T SEE OH EH EH I WANT THAT AHH MY HEAD WHY DID YA HAVE TO BAP IT? TAKE THIS YOU CAN'T STOP ME! I'M SHOVING IT INSIDE ME! OHOHOOOHOOHAHAHAHA uh oh ohwayaowaywowayo AHHHHHHHH I'm ok I'm ok it's ok neeeeeooo you'll never catch me! you'll never know where I am heheheh I need a wea-pan aww I need something to smash shoulda picked up that hammer from the beginning but now they don't know where I went what a bunch of idiots! AHHH THEY KNOW WHERE I WENT AHHH THEY GOT ME WHATS IN THE FRIDGE? I JUST WANNA SNACK! YEUGHHH COME OVER HERE COME AT ME BRO OHOOHOOO WHAT A BUNCH OF STUPIDS! ok WEEEEEE Ok oh no the tv IN MA BUTT oh I don't wanna be on the balcony this doesn't help anybody goddamn doors stop opening that way oh I have a flashlight? I had a flashlight this whole time I'm an idiot yeah for a mansion this house doesn't have a lot I need to goooo I need to go get the hammer eh shit bam ok I'm locked and loaded and ready to go oh I'm not gonna go home yet I want more outta this house if I have to smash every goddamn thing inside of it I'm gonna do exactly that hey buddy where'd your friend go? you all alone now? It's a good thing I got unlimited sprint I'm an Olympic level cardio runner cause that's an Olympic event: Cardio Running It's what they call it don't ask me gold plate bang artifact? Artifact?! what does that mean artifact? HEY STOP IT! STOP BEING A DICK oh you can't? oh this is a weapon oh jeesums this-- this--- I shouldn't have this AHH THEYRE GONNA GET ME AHH THAT HURT KINDA I THINK I'M NOT A HUNDRED PERCENT SURE ahh I don't wanna go there with just two artifacts oh I need more what is this take artifact ok that was another artifact that was worth exactly nothing why was that worth nothing? this is stupid Well I guess that's everything I just don't know how to get in the locked doors huh there is a locked room up there but Lord knows if I know how to get to it oh here's more whoa hello [alarm beeping] oh it was just an alarm well too bad ha I think they know I'm here I just have a sneaking suspicion that they might have some kind of inkling that I is here oh let me do this little trick here watch this boink oh it didn't do nothing AHHHHH CANT DO IT YOULL HAVE TO SEE MY TRICK LATER! EHHHHHHH Alright I guess that's all for know there might be more secrets to this one but I think I think I'm gonna be pretty much done with this game so thank you everybody so much for watching If you want to see to see me finish this game let me know in the comments down below it's a little unrefined I NEED 600,000 BEFORE I LEAVE?! oh ok I'll be right back how ya doing? you guys look tired maybe you wanna lay down and go the fuck away can I lock them out of the house? if I close this gate they won't be able to get in will they? haha hahoohhhh oh look who got locked out hhoho look who got looocked out oh there was more in here that's right ha bam! ha boosky ha biff ok I've got more than enough money now They're gonna be waiting for me at the gate but umm ma not much i can do about that hep oh oh no they lost interest and they are gone I can't hop over that can I? where did they go- OOOOHH HELLO HELLOOOO OH GOODBYYYYEE ok so now I think I'm done so as soon as I get away That's gonna be the end of this episode so thanks again everybody so much for watching hope you enjoyed this and there are a few more levels but like I was saying before it's a little unrefined it's not exactly of the highest quality that I would say and ordinarily I'd let this go but this game costs money so I gotta give it a little bit of criticism here on the slightly not quite doneness of it I mean it says early access but people sometimes just use early access as an excuse to Put games out there before they're really ready for the public but either way it's kinda fun so thank you everybody so much for watching and as always I will see you in the next video BUH BYE! [Outro music]
