*Whapoosh* Top of the mornin' to ya laddies My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to a game called "Sneak Thief"! Which I assume is going to be something like "The Very Organized Thief" I have absolutely no idea. The screenshots of it looked hilarious, it looks like it might be very broken Who knows Let's get in and have a little bit of fun. Selection Okay Tutorials. "More Levels coming soon". "Warning this is an early build of the game and everything is subject to change", okay Press space to jump Okay Something that every thief in the world needs Control or C to crouch Options something, another, thief needs uhhhhhhhh a flashlight SPRINT! Pick up the gold bars OHH YESS! Even though these look like Kit Kat chunkies But that's fine *awwww yesss* WHHHHAAATT? AHHHHHH *laughs* *laughs more* Oh Jesus! *BLAM* OH GOD! I didn't know I was able to kill people! okay shhhhhh Darkness consumes you *laughing* fuckin' hell Okay! THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME! Oh I can't wait now! That was so fucking cool! "Home Invasion". Let's do it! Let's actually rob a house this time instead of just going through a tutorial. COME ON! Load. It says you're loading. Come on! Load faster *sassy snap* There we go! Okay. Oh, mother of god are-are we good? I also like that the mouse doesn't stay in the fucking screen that's lovely, that's- okay its locked! As every house door should be Why would you be going into a house and expecting it to be unlocked anyway? That's just stupid Why would you be going to the garage door and expecting that to open with E? can't open it with a hands You have to open it with a-a door, thing Are you open? Locked? okay. Sound, safe as houses. Sound as a pound Wait, what is this? OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! what are you? 1, 0- uh, what? *Jackaboy is a da confused* okay so the first one i press is 0, 0 the next one I press is 3, 2 so.. 1 1, 2, 3, 1, 2 There we go The next one I press is 2, 1 1, 2, 1 *VERY annoying beeping* uh oh.. Uh Oh!! UH OH!!! uH oH!!!! UH OH!!!!!!! what do I do?!! it, deh- duh - BAIL!! BAIL! GET OUTTA HERE! RUUUUNNNNN! *faint annoying beeping noise* OH GOD it's the po-po Oh it's uh- the people are home HI! uUm, I was just here to check your plumbing (totally) nothing bad is happen- *gun shot* WHAT THE-FUCKING JESUS CHRIST!? I know that if someone breaks into your house, you should be able to shoot them or something, but I didn't actually break into the house! I didn't even get a- *low and sexy voice* Oh you motherfucker.... okay okay, I see how it is So 3,2 was right, why wasn't 1,2 right? OH 'cause these are 0 *sudden realization* 1, 2, 1! There we go aaannnd theeeeen, 1, 2 so, 1, 1, 2 Nailed it! Is that everything open? can I go in the house now? it's still lock-ed! oh wait, wha-wh FUCK ME! I DID IT RIGHT YOU- OOHHHHHHH, maybe you had to press 0,0 first (no shit) okay There we go! We got the green! yes! HA HA! now is the door open? OH LIKE THAT! OHHHHH Open sesame! This is almost the exact same house from 'The Very Organized Thief' OOOOOOHHH what can we steal? Take a golden skull, take a trophey *clink* uuummmm IM TAKING EVERYTHING! WHERE DID I EVEN PUT THAT TV? I HAVE FUCKIN' HERMIONE'S BAG NICE! what else am I takin? take- fuckin'- This is a sick ass room! I would fucking love a room like this in my house some surround sound and a big giant projector screen oh it would be so good! Take vase. Take grandma's ashes we're gonna go out and sprinkle it on the dirt take a bottle of wine- WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? EEEEWWWWWWW! So gross! I should take it off your hands, just so you don't have it in your house anymore take- take everything take the gold vas- YOU HAVE A LOT OF GOLD SHIT IN YOUR HOUSE! You're just asking for someone to rob you. Can I steal beer? Steal monster energy? No? Can't steal anything uhhhh, I don't want to fucking steal microwave pizzas What do I look like? some sorta- some sorta guy with no money? I have lots of money! I have all the money from uh, STEALING stuff! from these people- im closing all the doors as well leave no trace that I was ever here shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *whispers* silence right, what's upstairs? okay, okay. FUCKIN HELL THIS IS A NICE HOUSE! I don't want to steal anything from here "White words" that's rasict take bank documents, okaY! sweet Take a tablet also, take a pill a chill pil- take a TV! bank document- there's bank documents and TVs lying all over the place here fuckin' sick close that like a thief in the night! no one will ever know I was here! someone's home SOMEONE'S HOME! OH GET IN THE BATH AND THINK ABOUT LIFE DECISIONS! OH I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE! OH I WOULDNT HAVE TO STEAL STUFF IF I DID! *Jackaboy gets very nervous* is he gettin' closer? Is he gonna come right in? Can I just leave? go down to my car and just leg it? okay he's walkin' around he knows someone's here 'cause- no I CLOSED THE FRONT DOOR! don't come in I don't know where he is, it sounds like he's right outside! HOOO HOO, HOO HOO HOOO! OH HE WAS! im gone! IM GONE! Im GoNe! SEE YA LATER FUCKER! SEE YA! YOU NEED 50 GRAND BEORE YOU LEAVE? WHHHAAAATT? can I just steal his car? AWWWW FUCK! AWW FLUFFER NUTTERS *vibrating noise* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) okay okay okay I can go back this way *more vibration sounds* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) He's not in here is he still upstairs? there's nothing else to steal down here!! what am I supposed to do?! awe shit ohhh take the paintings! is he in there? oh he's in there... he's in there he's in there awe!! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Agh! Get shot in the chest!
(is that right?) BLEGHFLLAH Okay! Steal everything! Steal EVERYTHING! Steal-take the fucking mouse! I need fifty grand before I can leave!? What is this!? He doesn't even have fifty grand worth of shit in his house! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Okay can I throw a boxes at him? I need some sort of fucking self-defense! Christ! I'ma get out of this though! I'ma get out of this- OOHHH! *whispers* Nice *quiet* Nice.. Oh god I thought I took that *clicks flashlight off* *clicks flashlight on* *whispers* Gold bars.. He just has gold bars lying around cuz why the fuck not? Diamond ring! Come on! YES! Over fifty grand! I have over fifty grand worth of stuff! Where is he? I'm gone! I'm gone! See ya later fucker! Ha ha ha! :D Oh yes! YEAS! Stole everything in that bastards house! HA! Sucks to be you bro! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Stole all your diamond ring and your gold bars that you just happen to have lying around like the fucking prince of Arabia Um.. Okay! Bank! Let's do the bank! This game is fun! *giggles* It's so hilariously like.. obtuse, that makes it really fun! Do I have a shadow? I don't have a shadow Goddammit. There's a police officer right here! Sup Officer!? Hey how's it goin'? *giggle* You don't look like you have a beard, you look like- it looks like you- put like- like- cream on your face and then just dipped your chin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) in sand! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *laughs* Same goes for your head! Do you like my car? Do you like my- Do you like my whip? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) No? Okay.. I'm just gonna sit down and wait for the bus. Do you know when the-when the five comes? I might be waiting here for a while. Dude I'ma go rob this ba- ... I'ma go walk my dog! Officer: But sir you don't have a dog FUCK YOU! I can have a dog if I wan- There's a cop there as well! UM. I don't wanna have the gun in my hand! Can I drop it? Aw shit balls! OH OH OH OH! AH HA HA HO FUCK He had a shotgun that's not fair! It's probably incredibly fair.. Because police, but come on! Am able to like, hide the gun? I wanna be able to get- aw there's no gun anymore! FACK. um.. Can I open this? Ooh~ What are this? Pick up the weapon, and we go Nice! Do I have an accomplice somewhere? Hey I'm on a roof! *smol chuckle* It feels like I have an accomplice somewhere that's been laying out weapons and everything for me ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) enter password.. I don't fucking know.. Um..excuse me! THIS IS A STICK UP! AGH! GOD FUCKING-! I'm a bad robber! BLEHHFFFUCK! The Norman County Bank More like- Norman County Wank! Hello! Nice shoes! Cindy, nice to meet ya! Hi- What the fuck happened to your head? What the-*laughs* Oohhh What happened to your eyes and your head? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Oohhh somethings not right Suzy ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Cindy- Whatever the fuck I called you Okay I'm close the door it's only good ethics. Hi? Is this a bank or is it a fucking prison? Where you like talk through the glass I-I'm just gonna pretend I work here! ♪Dum dee dum de dum~♪ ♪Bank stuff♪ ♪Bank stuff♪ ♪I'm doing bank stuff♪ See? I do work here! Can I just take all the money..? Okay.. I don't wanna take anything just yet I need ta incampasitatoro the policeorons Um...How do I do that...? No cameras around or anything is there? Ah- Take bank documents Fuck yeah! I have no idea how I'm getting out of this bank I don't know how- OOOHH~ Bond, lies, cars, back, dogs... Hmm.. Okay. I'ma take a picture of this on my phoneio And then we're gonna-this is gonna help me. Watch. Aaaaand Uhh.. Af-it would help if it were on the fucking screen *laughs at self* Right. So-like- I'm stealing all of this shit in this room and the- can I take the chair? I mean, I'm taking paintings and TVs and everything I don't see why I wouldn't be able to take chairs It's like walking out and a fucking big painting sticking out of your back pocket its like- ♪*~whistles~*♪ *laughs* Okay, uh.. If I take those bank documents are you just gonna shoot me in the face hole again? Sir? He's just like, "DOWN ON THE GROUND" I'm sorry! Okay? Uhh.. Right.. Let's see if we can do.. Oh I can't do that again.. I wanna see if I can just take-
*takes* He doesn't suspect a thing. Woahh! Mad stacks! UM. I'm taking this- for "safe keeping!" *mutters* Idiots *chuckles evilly* Right. I need to try something. How much do I need to actually escape? You don't see anything! Did that fucking bus come yet? No! Take- 500,000!? Whaaat? That's like a whole bank! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Aw man.. D: Okay, I have to do this then. Have to go in here.. Do that.. Nice. *gasp!* OOHH They're giving me a shotgun! OH! Don't tempt me with the sweet seductress of death! Oh I want it! Oh I want it so bad! ((that's what she said)) Ugh... I only have four attempts- Okay I'm taking this. I'm takin' it. I'm takin' it! Okay. ((that's what she said!)) You know what we're gonna do, we're gonna do some fucking work! AH fuck! WHAT? Son of a dick fart! wWWWOOOAAH MAMA That sucks. Okay. At least I know what I'm doing this time. Sons of bastards Hey Cindy what's up? Fuckin' assholes.. k I'm goin in here stealing all of your shit. gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme *jack singing* "stealin your shit" its a great day out today isn't it Mr. Potato Man yes Birds are chirpen, Birds are flying Lots of stuff about birds. That's what real humans talk about right? also, do you guys not realize there's a fuckin ladder just... hangin out back there? no? ok I mean i'm not one to draw attention to it and teach you how to do your jobs, but... If you guys wanna leave, all you want, then go right ahead cause I'm not gonna stop ya I was hopin my shotgun would, but apparently That is le piece of cakapoo So I can't fuckin use that! What's it like out here? oh it's nice! IMA DO IT BRO! IMA DO IT! IF YOU DON'T LET ME TAKE ALL OF THE MONEY, I'm jumpin of this building! pretty sure i'd be able to jump off and survive anyway cause thats justs look the type of game that this is right, what kind of password, WHY DO YOU HAVE 4 TRIES!? AND WE HAVE AT LEAST 56 PASSWORDS sooo... bond, lies, just just shout whatever one of these sounds good k just yell at your screen when ever one of these sounds good bond, lies, cars, back, dogs, ba-- dogs, oh ok ummm d is this how you spell dogs? o g s it's not right, you're fukin wrong! god dammit man! um? bank, cash, ima put in bank! who, it would stand to reason that the bank's password would be bank oooooooh, I almost got it right! that means it is... BAND nope what? oh back oooooh I like this where's my dot *evil laugh* GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY, AND ALL OF YOUR SHIT! FUCKIN SICK! OOOOOOHHHH ME AND ALBERTHA ARE GONNA HAVE SUCH A FUCKIN GOOD NIGHT! haven't been able to take her out in a LONG time ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Oh Albertha been craving some fuckin big macs. She's gonna get them! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) are we- OH why why woulden't you just have fuckin watches lyin around that's what I like! WATCHES Do I have enough yet? I don't think so That has nothin in it. Just open up one of them and there's a cop inside with a gun like "You picked the wrong drawer boy!" *shoots you in the face* *laughing* I would love if that happened! oww I got smacked with a drawer ok I guess we're goin from this fuckin side then ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh cooood there's nothin in these ones! close these sons of bitches up again, I'm fuckin stuck Am I stuck!? I AM FUCKIN STUCK! There we go jeeeesus. I was stuck in a wall! Or whatever the fuck I was stuck in. I have no Idea NICE! I MUST HAVE... DHALSIMS ARMS FROM FUCKIN STREET FIGHTER TO BE ABLE TO REACH ACROSS THE ROOM LIKE THIS AND GET ALL THE STUFF OUT OF IT! THERE'S NOTHING IN ANY OF THESE! I DON'T HAVE THE AMOUNT OF MONEY I NEED TO ESCAPE AND TAKE ALBERTHA OUT! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) DO YOU THINK ALBERTHA IS SOME SORT OF... CHEAP LADY! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) NO! ALBERTHA LIKES TO BE HAVE THE CASH SPLASHED ON HER ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) LIKE QUITE LITERALLY! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) She likes to have cash... thrown on her! In a bathtub! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I mean it has to be small bills. I can't just fuckin throw gold bars at her. That'll break her face! She already had reconstructive surgery! Ok well I guess I'm walkin out of here with fuck all. COULD I SHOOT THE COP AND STEAL HIS TEETH? Thal They'd be worth a lot! I fuckin know that for a fact! OK I'm not one the fuckin vault's open and nobody questions it! *more laughing* Is that like really not enough to escape? Ok I'm fine no fall damage thats that's grand and dandy and sour candy. I'm just gonna go to my car and check the tire pressure. uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh I DID DO IT! HORRAY FOR JACK!!! I stole a shit ton! Me and Albertha not only are we goin out to MacDonalds get a Happy Meal, might even take her to Subway! Might even buy a boat! and put my own TIKI BAR on it and serve BIG MACS! Have you ever had a tiki bar that has Big Macs? NOPE! Now you will! Albertha and Jack, together forever. ANYWAY That was fun! I might come back and try some of the other levels! What else do we got? Uhhhhhhmmmm The Yacht. I fuckin told ya, me and Albertha on our yacht. The Mansion and The Diamond Heist. YEA! I might come back and do another episode of those! Cause this game fuckin fun! ANYWAY THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE, IF YOU LIKED IT PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE LIKE ALBERTHA AND, high fives all round *WAPISH* *WAPISH* BUT THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where did the name Albertha come from? Why was I thinkin of that? Never even heard that name before in my life. I've never known anyone named Albertha.
