Madagascar explained by an idiot

welcome to Madagascar where Marty azus zebra is daydreaming about running around free in the wild when he gets interrupted by Alex the line his best friend a domesticated [ __ ] line and the star of the zoo giving him a birthday gift which he hid behind his teeth which is bullied now I understand that this is an animated Funtime kids movie that I actually like and we're playing fast and loose with the rules here but I'm still gonna point this [ __ ] out because I can and it's my channel eat my ass so he gives him a snow globe of himself and according to him these aren't even on the Shelf yet so Mario says the very unthoughtful narcissistic gift down with the rest of the shitty gifts and how in the name of my shiny tiny little hiney does he get his hands on merch that didn't even hit the shells yet I am aware that he gets pampered a lot by the zoo but does he really get pampered enough for them to give him pre-release merch of his choosing also the rest of the gifts are never ever seen again any white shots of Marty's pen which pisses me the [ __ ] off anyways Marty's having a mix between an existential crisis and a midlife crisis but Alex is just like try a new routine or some [ __ ] not chill the people are here then brainwash Alex Goes to wake up to two other members of their tiny little friend group glory hole the pometis and mailman the giraffe who's a hypochondriac also these two Apes wake up and one of them calls the other fugly which is a mishmash between [ __ ] and ugly but we didn't know that when we were kids we now Alex was on a show for the peeps and hits them with the Zoolander raise which makes sense because he's played by Ben Stiller what is the routine for the people consists of him doing acrobatic spitting which if you think about it is disgusting Will Smith's wife rolls around Melman gets I don't know checked up whatever everybody's putting on a show especially the Penguins who are hatching a plan to bullish joint by digging a tunnel all the way to Antarctica using plastic spoons ambitious but rubbish Now setting aside the fact that you cannot dig through concrete with a plastic spoon or it's just gonna pretend that they can for the movie's sake that spoon is still very much usable dipshakowski because a shoveling end of the spoon is still very much intact also when Marty finishes up his routine by doing armpit farts he shouldn't technically be able to do that because his hoos are not you know hand soft and flexible enough to make a good seal with his furry armpit to make any of that noise just saying but what ifs the Penguins pop up in his opinion he finds out that they miss Antarctica by just a little bit you know off by just a tad and that they've been watching a hell of a lot of the top retards videos or his name Andrew taint thinking that they live in The Matrix saying [ __ ] like do you see any other Penguins walking around New York that's unnatural we're going back to the wild they disappear in the hole and after the day is done all the main attractions get treated like royalty and they celebrate Marty's birthday he loves his birthday he tells him that he wished to go to the Wild and they're like are you [ __ ] crazy homeo they'll argue with him about it especially [ __ ] Alex he has many non-valid points that he argues with him and forces down his throat Marty gets sad and Gloria forces Alex to go cheer him up but she kind of does and they all go to bed a couple hours later melon woke up in the middle of night to pee and couldn't find Marty so he alerts to others Alex figures out that he went to take a train to Connecticut where he thinks the wild is because of that conversation they had earlier on his birthday and they can't call the humans for help because according to Alex they do not bite the hat that feeds them so instead they decide to break out of the food and do themselves and go look for money while he's just walking around vibing in New York with no one calling the authorities on him which is not unusual for New York I'm pretty sure weird or [ __ ] has happened but how did he break out in the first place Nate how did they break out in the first place without getting noticed or stopped are there no security cameras or security officers or guards sorry I guess the same answers before it's New York so I'm already asked an officer horse how to get to Grand Central Station while the human officer calls in Animal Control by the way does this shot of Times Square qualifies product placement or not I'm just it doesn't matter it relevant the rest of the animals get in the subway station and wait for subway car and I can basically guarantee there is not a single subway station in New York city that is this empty but who cares they get in the car and scare well all the humans Mario rides at Grand Central Station and this is also rarely this week and empty and goddamn where's the [ __ ] Apple Store in the balcony doesn't matter Alex Melman and Gloria arrive also and he gets kicked in the [ __ ] nads by an old ballsy lady they get to Mario and Alex was like how could you do this to us Morty I thought we were friends I was gonna be back in the morning you fanatic feline they then got surrounded by the cops and animal control the Penguins as well as the monkeys have escaped too although we didn't see them in the subway car which doesn't matter to me there's more than one subway car more than one way to get the Grand Central Station what I want to know more is how the monkeys escaped in the first place probably because of the comically large bars in their [ __ ] enclosure that they can slip through but then again if they could have always done that then why didn't they escape till now whatever Alex tried to communicate with the humans but he's a dumb gay and doesn't realize that all that comes through is line Wars and then gets kicked in the balls Again by the old lady somehow she slipped past a [ __ ] wall of right cops he gets shot with a trample as a dark as an acid trip wakes up in a box in the zoo with everybody who's saying farewell to him because he's getting sent off somewhere they should have watched the Dark Side of him again how did none of them hit his eye also first time he got shot he got shot on his ass and he fell back on his body hence also his ass so how did that hurt even more was that not more damaging to him I always think about that you get shot with the financial aidar and what if you fall on the same spot you got shot in will get shoved into your body causing internal damage or some [ __ ] doesn't matter after another quick asset trip he wakes up an enclosed box this time thinking he's getting transferred to another zoo and they all wake up in boxes around him but actually they're not getting transfer to another so they're just getting transferred to a Wildlife Reserve in Kenya something that the Penguins find out and they're not very happy about like Kenya that's not where it's at homies and they break out the boxer by picking its lock which they absolutely did not need to do because they can totally slip through these holes that they're already halfway poke through speaking of holes there's no way in hell Gloria is getting as much sunlight through her breathe holes as they are since she's at the Box directly underneath all of them also I doubt this is how they transport wild animals overseas and crates strapped down in the open like that exposed to all the harsh weather conditions but I don't know any better than I'm too late to research it so I digress the Penguins sneaky Blinky their way up to the bridge and knock out the captain take control over the ship by randomly cartoon mashing buttons pull a fat U-turn which knocks off all the quadrupeds off the ship because they were getting angry with each other and fighting and that caused the ratchet straps that were holding them down to come loose they fell into the ocean and drift around a bit and I don't know about the rest of them but I can see Alexis box and I didn't get a single drop of water inside of it which is absolute horseshit but whatever he washes up on a beach and gets out of the box and spends the whole night calling for his friends and in the morning he finds Melvin stuck in his box so he rips off three of the five planks from the top of his box to try and get him out but fails and instead of ripping the other two off to try and get him out that way or pull him from the bottom he decides that the best course of action is to raid him out of the box with a [ __ ] tree but before he gets to do that he gets interrupted by Gloria showing up at the beach and she accidentally helps them female then Marty shows up without his box riding Dolphins which I'm not going to question just like I'm not going to question the odds of all of them ending up on the same goddamn Beach I'm just gonna move on Alex is feeling Furious of money but Gloria calms him all down and is just happy that they're all here United in this place that Melman ascertains is San Diego shut the [ __ ] up mailman Alex is still mad at Marty they try and fight a bit but then they hear some music and they think it's human so they run over into the jungle into the source of the music to look for humans to give him some help Alex stumbling and bumping into it along the way being the first one to walk through the spider web although he's the last one in the group walking the same exact path as they are [ __ ] logic actually maybe they sidestep this one obstacle but whatever they get the source of the music and it's not humans but a bunch of meerkats or lemurs whatever jamming out to some of the best music ever created seriously pretty much all the Madagascar movies had straight up hits but no one talks about it nearly as much as it deserves it's been a bunch of USA arrived to attack the Lemurs so they're like Mauricio I get I can't move it move it anymore what is it and that's exactly when Alex finally arrives and gets scared by a spider and his fear scares off the fusa and here's possibly the most confusing part in this movie for me because at the end of the movie they eat fish but in a sequel we see that a fish talks to them or something like that and here the arachna talks back to them so they can clearly on Sand and [ __ ] yet they still try and flip it up with the stick so where's the line of respect between animals or which animals can be friends or like you know what I mean the lion gets real [ __ ] blurry between who's cool with who and whatnot but who cares King Julian leader of the meerkats or lemurs right he's pretty [ __ ] [ __ ] but he's the king somehow and he sees the Fuso getting scared off so he throws out [ __ ] Mort to see if they're dangerous or not and they're not so they pop out and King Julian goes we thank you for scaring away the fusa they ask if they have any humans around and they tell them that the only humans that they got are dead from a plane crash that land in one of their feet and trees and they tell them that they're in the wild not [ __ ] San Diego and they all freak out except for Marty Gloria calming herself down by choking Alex to death while Melman Bears his head in the sand and while melon continues to be a drama queen Marty comes over like come on guys it's not that bad this could be the best thing that ever happened to us shut the [ __ ] up Marty I'm dying have some respect then Alex literally draws a Line in the Sand between him and them basically saying his side is the [ __ ] side and their side is for people who want to find a way back home and they're gonna find a way back home and you're not allowed to cross it they then both proceed to Showcase their incredible craftsmanship skills and Architectural prowess that I will not question because it's not worth it there's just too much to go through and this is one thing I can just ignore I don't have to [ __ ] mention every single time you think you just gotta focus and keep moving with the movie okay we got this all right let's go Marty starts working on a like luxury Hut Bungalow [ __ ] while Alex builds a mini Statue of Liberty that he intends to light on fire when a ship passes by as a beacon told her to come and save them while talking to a Wilson that I don't know how he acquired Melman turns out to have the powers that will spontaneously combustion and accidentally burns down the mini sets of Liberty prematurely pussycat cries about it a bit then Melman Grill like [ __ ] this [ __ ] we're going to the front side meanwhile an assembly of little furry retards is taking place King Julian is addressing his peasants telling them that he will make friends with the New York idiots so that Mr Alex can protect him from the fusa but then Maurice who's like his advisory or assistant is like hold on hold on maybe we should be scared too what if Alex even worse than the fusa Maurice shut up my plan is perfect so when the New York idiots wake up next morning they will make sure that they wake up in Paradise so they like them and they become one of the friends and Alex protects them and by the way the skeleton hand should not be intact like it is but whatever back at the beach Alex is finally given up and goes over to the fun side tomorrow's fun Shack knocks on the door and I know I said I wouldn't say anything but [ __ ] forged locks what I'm done I'm done I'm done Okay I lied I'm not done Alex walks in surprises speak of how glorious this place is although he shouldn't be because he could definitely see it from the outside because there are no eating walls but whatever they have as much fun as they can eating seaweed and gargling seawater and they fall asleep under a sea of stars Alex dreams of stakes and wakes up licking Marty and tries to pass it off as him counting the stripes on his body and he figures out that he is black with white stripes which is incorrect any person with two brain cells dropped together will find out that he is white with black stripes and they wake up next morning having been abducted by King Julien to a little slice of paradise Mario and Alex go far looking around which awakens Alex's inner Primal Instinct stops walking around and I'll twos like a biped and instead on all fours like a scary [ __ ] line they return on the four of them are getting treated like royalty once again with crackhead Alex bouncing around and losing my mind Wildlife energy and shows the little furry crowd of donkeys his Zoo routine where he does Roars and the Zoolander race and [ __ ] and while he does that he loses all his marbles goes completely insane and sees everybody as little tiny stakes and his friends as big Stakes jumps down and eatsmarty's ass literally I can say that okay okay well he tries to eat his ass look he doesn't continue only bites it because oh like what the [ __ ] dude and he tries to snap out of it like no no I'm not doing anything I'm always go see he's a Savage we're all just little Stakes to him he belongs in the future now come on I do I look like stick to you Alex yeah hold up wait a minute something ain't right Alex go Savage everybody disperses and he singles out Mario to chase down and eat but he gets sniped by expert coconut Marksman Maurice stop doing that Alex snatched back out of her and pretends to be me every time I edit one of these videos like what is wrong with me and goes on his way to the who's outside of the island on a very treacherous route falling down a bunch of shitty rocks and cactuses crucifies itself on a cactus and floats all over to that side makes himself a makeshift enclosure to keep everybody safe from him I don't know what the plan is here are you gonna just starve yourself with that buddy or are you gonna do the logical thing and go pray on some [ __ ] fusa baby let's go doesn't matter while he was doing that his friends were finding out the dog eat dog Savage ways of the wild line now it feels guilty as fake because of all this [ __ ] he feels his fault and they hear the ship honk its horn or whatever the naval equivalent correct terminal for that [ __ ] is see the Penguins got all the way over to another car and we're like I gotta be 100 with you homies this ain't where it's at either so they headed back out of all the islands on planet Earth that they could have passed by this is the first one that I passed by and chose to go there which must have been a 1 million chance but whatever the ball comes the Penguins drop down and tell Gloria that they sent the humans off on a Lifeboat and she notices that Marty has left to go get Alex Because he believes that he's still in there somehow that he's not Savage also their BFFs so he goes back to save him and she's worried about him like oh no he's in danger so the penguins are on the job like listen up boys our dumb gay friends in danger we must go on a mission to help save him now over to Marty he gets to the food Society finds Alex who's still kind of loopy tells him that the boat's here and that they can go back home and everything is going to go back to the way it was Alex was like stay back I don't want to hurt you but Marty hangs about because he won't leave without him and he sings him their best friend song to convince him to leave with him but he gets stopped Midway because the fusar is surrounding him and are starting to attack him he starts running away calling for Access help then Melman Tarzan's in out of nowhere to save him and Gloria is there too Penguins show up with a flare gun fusa hold they distract them with it and do some Mission Impossible spinny pole dancing they should accept the fusa are too much and they're starting to get around but then out shows up like my kill Alex hungry my food goes over to his friends and pretends to try and eat them like it's showtime just playing along okay the foosa definitely heard us by the way but they do look like they're too [ __ ] to catch on with this [ __ ] and they're high of mine super brains so I'm just gonna let it pass Alex pretends to want to eat them they pretend to be in danger while beating up the fusa and scaring them away by using them as golf balls sitting on them with their big fat asses and using them as nunchucks Alex tells them never to step foot on his surf again he scares him off for a good King Jones like my blood worked I did it I did it the Penguins make out some sushi defeated to him and he finds it better than steak and King Julian gives him his crown as a parting gift because he has a bigger one with the gecko on it and they wave everyone goodbye to set sail back to New York on a boat that the Penguins failed to mention to them is out of gas this only gets a three factorial out of a square root of 427. [Music] [Music] thank you

Channel: High Boi

Views: 3,092,238

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Id: 4s9t6WCG1ks

Length: 12min 46sec (766 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 10 2023