Avatar explained by an idiot

welcome to Blue Man Group the movie AKA Avatar a movie that is almost three hours long so to shorten this video up a bit Humanity sucks in the future no surprise on that just drag and drop your favorite futuristic dystopian World from I know something like Blade Runner and that's what planet earth looks like here and there's this other Earthly planet called Pandora with a very popular series called Tijuana called Navi hold up wrong Navi these Navi are actually like blue tall humanoid people with four fingers on each hand and a ponytail with an ethernet cable built into it to allow them to pair bond or like intertwine themselves with other animals or beings that have the same internet cables and feel what they're feeling or that type of screen and this Pandora is very rich in a resource that is very valuable for humans and hard to obtain that they dubbed unobtainium very imaginative naming on the humans part now the atmosphere on Pandora is only available for 20 seconds for humans and they are dead in four minutes but they went regardless to mind the [ __ ] out of this unobtadium crap and a huge cost to the navi people because there's lots of it lays on very sacred sites for them that cannot be replaced or buttered for anything else one of them is home tree this big ass tree that they all live in that sits on the biggest deposit of unobtaining that the humans have found so far and the other one is way more important called Spirit tree or some [ __ ] that I don't think sits on any available resources for humans but as in important to nothing nevertheless and basically this is the classic human trait scenario of colonization because you have should I want yoink it's mine now screw you and your land that type of [ __ ] now on to the characters Jake Sully some random Marine that golfer and the spine is now bound to a wheelchair forever because he can't afford a surgery to fix his leggings and he has a scientist brother that some science people made a navi Avatar body for out of his DNA so he could go Netflix and chill with the navi people on Pandora then we got a professor her name is Grace and she's the lead scientist on Pandora loves Navi people who studies them and knows everything about them and has their own avatar to try and find a diplomatic way to move them off the big tree so they can take the unobtanium Scarface guy no relation to the movie he's just a guy in charge of the military stuff on Pandora and wants to remove there will not be people by whatever means necessary AKA will force punchable face guy he's the boss of the whole operation on Pandora the boss of Scarface and Grace that's enough of the humans now for the navi people singular one that I'm going to point out TC way or something I'll remember her name later don't worry about this lady has a dad and that that is the leader of the biggest snobby Clan and her mom is the spiritual leader of the people who interprets the will of agua their deity like the soul of their planet and [ __ ] and she said to me this guy who's supposed to take the place of her dad as leader of the clan if he's supposed to take the place of her mom as leader of the clan battle spiritually no that's enough of the board let's go movie Jake is approached by two official dudes after getting kicked out of a bar for fighting showing us yet another example of people who can't hear the footsteps coming towards them until they're directly in front of their face so whatever they tell him that his bro got stabbed to death and he can take his place in this project of his creature stuff because the Avatar they made for him that is really expensive is closer to his brother's DNA and he has the same DNA so it'll work because they match and he can shoot so to speak Jesus watch your words around the wheelbarrow man anyway he'll be compensated nicely obviously so he agrees and they fly him out to Pandora where everyone's so surprised by how much he looks like his brother like looks just like him yes tends to happen a lot with [ __ ] twins are you not familiar with the concept you're a scientist Norm Norm's not a scientist they made an avatar body for so silly means Professor Grace the head scientist dude and she's met easier and I know he signed his brother and he's like he's dead sorry for the inconvenience [ __ ] so she goes to another punchable face guy about this and he's like suck it up [ __ ] is what we got and put soda and protection Duty for the scientists team and presses her to improve the relations with the navi people that he ruined by being a dick the Nerf but he does this whole bit about how an opinion pays for this whole party which she undoubtedly already knows but he's only saying this for movie Exposition then they put Jacob Norman some Jello and link them up to their Avatar bodies using extreme movie Signs Jake wakes up in his Blue Man Group giraffes with ability to ooze all of his ligaments even his feces so he ignores all the pre-flight checks for his Avatar Body by the scientists and remembers how to use his legs then runs outside meets Avatar Grace and I am convinced that they gave these Navi people tales in this movie so they could naturally censor their butt cracks whatever though Jake meets lettuce Toretto the pilot that flies out all the science parties to their little you know Expeditions then Scarface who's working out like there's slow gravity will make you soft he just inadvertently called himself a weak-ass bird because since they have low gravity here all these weights are actually that impressive if they are normal weights made of normal materials to Earth standards with the gravity being substantially weaker which to be fair he is making it out to be that way anyway he keeps talking tough guys [ __ ] that's in a mixed suit and then tells Jake that he wants him to report back to him on all the navi weaknesses once he fights him out so Scarface knows where to hit him where it hurts and in return when Jake goes home Scarface will get him the lick fixing surgery he wants so they help in their Avatar bodies and fly over to the forest to do some [ __ ] science I guess and hopefully run to some Navi people to intermingle with they pass by an old school Grace thought the navi people [ __ ] like English digs like what happened here oh you know casual school shooting is basically American tradition by this point they then meet a hammerhead Rhino and a six-legged skin dog which attacks Jake and separates him from the other two he does his best to survive and get away which leads him to do the cliche of jumping off the waterfall to escape from danger luckily he doesn't die in the incredibly shallow Waters now he's in the jungle alone he makes a very sharp stick while chikawei is quietly stalking him wants to kill him with a poison arrow but then an aerial jellyfish lands on the Arrow as if to tell her not to the other avatars that go back to human base because they can't find him stay out too long at night and by Nightfall dude figures out that this tree sap is flammable and likes to stick with it to protect himself from Little six-legged skin dogs I don't know how he found out that [ __ ] was flammable but okay he keeps trying to protect himself but then soon gets overwhelmed then she cut Hairway whatever pops out and starts protecting him and shoots away all the cyclical skin dogs and he thanks her but she's like no thanks this is sad very sad only you're like a baby making noise don't know what to do dumbass that was so accurate up to the dumbass he's like if you really love your little Forest friends then why'd you kill him to protect me because Mercury is in retrograde the [ __ ] does that even mean she wants him to leave he wants her to take her with him then a bunch of Squish his line on him and cheese and he's like what are the seeds of the Sacred tree very pure spirits uh-huh so am I like covered in calm right now I ruin everything don't I she changes her mind because the Ariel come and takes him by force now over to her omotakaya clan where no dreamwalker filthy Sky person is allowed telling her dad that she got a sign from anyone not to kill him then her mom comes over to interrogate him and find out the will of AWA and she finds out that he's not a scientist but a soldier he went and the dad says that they never got a soldier during Walker of War he's the first one to come over and they really need to study him and learn as much as they can about him and they ask their daughter to teach him everything about them okay leader of the Blue Nation Nation but isn't that exactly the opposite of what you just wanted to do I thought find out everything you can about the meant torturing interrogate are you all avatared so they get him in tribal clothing AKA almost naked and we find out blue bitch's actual name is nitiri that's very helpful they feed him and put him to bed when he wakes up in his Jello pod as a human where Grace was more worried about the Avatar than him quick question if he dies in his Avatar form does he die in real life too is it like Inception or what doesn't matter he catches the scientists and the Army boys output of what he did so far and Grace gives him a crash course on who's who in the navi he gets put in the telepod again to be his Avatar now starts learning [ __ ] like how to ride their version of a horse by connecting his ethernet cable to the horse's cable and telling it what to do with his mind [ __ ] then Grace moves the size team over to a remote location on a lab somewhere on some floating rocks because they found out that Jake's been reporting to Scarface and punchable guy behind her back I don't know how this is meant to change anything he can still contact them over their internet but whatever they go over to the Hallelujah mountains that are floating because of and I quote the maglev effect caused by the unobtadium superconductive properties so basically magnetic movie Signs also does does not mean that there's a ton of an opinion over in that location so why not mind that whatever Jake starts using according to Grace the least glitchy Jello pod what does a glitchy mean here doesn't mean that he can't get into this avatar on Startup or does it extend to him not being able to use one of his limbs for example when he's in his Avatar maybe he gets lag kind of cause him to have a sudden brain aneurysm or a stroke explain [ __ ] whatever in Theory shows Jake her Dragon which will fly with only one Navi in their lifetime once a bond was made he'll give up when he's ready and continues to learn the language archery becomes better friends with normal he teaches him Navi who was previously jealous of him I don't know how he has time to do this in the morning if he spends all day in his Avatar body and all nights resting his real one but yeah more learning and eventually enough trust is formed between him and they don't want to Kaya people to let him bring Grace's Avatar Into The Village they buried that dude and talk about death and energy and awar and Grace Force feeds his real body because he's losing weight at a very rapid rate and he can't do that because he won't eat energy and there's a continuity error here actually there are a bunch of them it really pisses me off but I'm only mentioning this one because I want to say time then Grace tells him about how all the other kids with their Pumped Up Kicks better run better run outrun their guns please tell me honestly what I meant by that reference and can you close the [ __ ] fridge Grace God damn it the food is gonna spoil jeez thank you dumbass scientist anyway long story short and TV had a sister who made a Greenpeace protest and got shot up in the school because she thought she'd be safe with Grace but she wasn't later Avatar Jack makes a clean kill according to the TV so the other kill that you said you made yesterday was a dirty kill and you still ate it you say I thought that wouldn't be allowed anyway he's ready now to go get his own dragon apparently so him and a bunch of other graduating Hunters climb off of the floating mountains to go choose their dragons he wrestles one in the South she's an internet connection with it then flies around a bit insert How to Train Your Dragon clip here hold on man isn't he plugging the dragon's breathe holes with his feet how's it breathing properly and can it smell his feet they must be stinky right anyway they do some more hunting and learning and flirting much to dismay oh this guy sute who's supposed to marry [ __ ] I forgot her name again clan leader and [ __ ] and they got attacked by a bigger dragon and Escape it in the forest and she explains to him that that big dragon is called turuk and it's really fair big strong only five Navi ever were able to ride it and the last person to do that United all the clans in the time of great sorrow because apparently that type of big dick energy is for someone to wrestle with a [ __ ] dragon a controller is recognized globally by all pandorans for all Nabi now after three months of this Jake wakes up one day and his human body is conflicted as [ __ ] because his first mission was to come and gather as much Intel as he can on them to come up but now he doesn't really want to cause he likes them and in this ceremony where they put jizz on his face he becomes a man and everybody touches him I made that sound weirder than it really is but don't worry about it that natiri takes him to another sacred tree of there's the tree of voices where they can download and upload memories of their ancestors and listen to them and [ __ ] to their ethernet cables and since he's officially on wetakaya now he may choose a woman she's like we have many fine women tikawa has the biggest tits where AKA has the fattest ass I don't want none of them I want you baby girl come here they connect ponytails and shakes it up the Bluetooth device is connected successfully fall asleep the next morning the humans start bulldozing that area I thought they were supposed to wait till Jake gave him the go ahead or try to negotiate the relocation of the navi people but whatever they're humans it makes sense for them to be dicks Jake hops into his Avatar body just in time for him to try and stop them by breaking one of the cameras of the bulldozers but he gets scared Away by a guy with a gun and back at the clan suitay is mad and wants to attack the humans and Jake's like brother don't do this they're too strong he starts calling him brother a lot at this point like excuse me you're excused [Music] except it's actually just as annoying and obnoxious as when The Rock does it in all those Fast and Furious movies so he's like you met it with this woman how the [ __ ] did he find out do you just inferred because they came in holding hands whatever she's like yeah we [ __ ] what about it I'm a strong independent Blue woman that can make her own choices okay then back at base Scarface notices that Jake is going AWOL because of the camera footage so he flies over to their remote base on the floating rocks and this connections from their super realistic VR games their avatars drop to the ground right as Jake was trying to tell him about the truth about himself and humans and his mission here and two they go see the demon has a false body I thought you knew you called them three walkers for God's sake you're so confusing whatever interior protects their bodies Scarface and punchable boy got them back to HQ and Grace tries to explain to them how valuable their trees and Planet are and that they will never exchange it for anything but as you know Money Talks people are [ __ ] and being greedy and gluttonous has been normalized and encouraged for centuries now so after the navi attack and Destroy some of their [ __ ] punchable face God gives the go ahead to attack hometry with all the information that Jake has provided to them so the scientist team plea to them one first time to at least let them get back in there and warn enough people to evacuate so a punch will do that agrees and kills in exactly one hour they get back into their avatars and weren't enough people about what's going to happen and Jake tells them the truth about himself how he was sent here as a spy basically but he changed his mind because blue Navi [ __ ] got him acting unwise material feels super betrayed by this who takes him the stank eye damn look at his face they bind them up to execute them all the while they're yelling at them that they want to help him Scarface shows up with a big guns to take the treat out which stops the execution the Theory's mom and then comes over in the midst of the card and tells Jake that if he is really one of them that he should help them and freeze them then the tree comes down ludat dies the theory is mad at Jake and he and Grace get unplugged why didn't the foreign feat that the Scarface guy was seeing that they were tied up and about to get executed wouldn't he unplug them then whatever the scientist team gets locked up but then Letty breaks them out because family and tries to escape with them to the floating mountains while Scarface tries to stop them with his wingman they make it away but Grace gets shot so they go over to the hell we announce and lift the whole section of their lab out take with him to the Tree of Souls where Jake thinks the navi people are going and where Navi people can help a very wounded Grace montenavia people immediate attack once they hear you land your loud ass helicopter over in the nearby vicinity maybe they got there before the navi I don't know it doesn't matter if they land somewhere near enough Jake jumps into the Matrix and wakes up in his Avatar body and misses all the ashes of home treatment gets his dragon and decides to jump to Rook by the way Jake has this really annoying narration throughout the whole movie which is kind of gay like sometimes your whole life comes down to one crazy move but hey it works he shows up to the Tree of Souls as to Rook makto aka Big Dick Rider of turuk the biggest bat in the sky everyone respects the [ __ ] out of him even sute he asked Mom if they can help Grace so they try and transport her from her human body to her Avatar body passing through the eye of AWA while they all wiggle around and Chance some really weird [ __ ] but it doesn't work because her wounds were too great and she was too weak so now she's stuck with AWOL forever which apparently isn't that bad of a deal Jake gives a big speech on how sorry he is and how [ __ ] he wins Aura and rallies everyone to fight with him against the humans close to 15 different Clans with his taruk and got the flying Clan you got the cow Clan and they'll respect him and want to fight with him they come back as reinforcements the bad guys see their numbers increasing on satellite heat vision so they decide to bomb the [ __ ] out of the Tree of Souls which is news Jake gets because he has a scientist guy on the inside telling all this information so he comes up with a plan to wait for them to come to them through the floating mountains where most of their flying instruments won't work because of the magnetic fields affecting them and [ __ ] them up and that's where they attacked him then that night Avatar Jake goes to connect to A1 and asks her to look into Grace's memories if she's with her and see how humans killed their Earth basically asking for her help so Pandora doesn't before the same fate then D-Day arrives bad guys roll up with a ground team and an air team with this main powerful gunship that scarfixes in with a bunch of smaller Choppers protecting this pedestrian ship carrying a bunch of explosives that they're gonna drop on home tree the navi attack on ground and air with everything they got even let it joins in with special war paint but she dies don't worry we all know that no one in the Fast and Furious franchise actually dies except for Paul rip that guy sutay gets fatally injured as well and falls down to the ground because he tried the silly ballsy move eventually dies later on but who cares and now they are getting overwhelmed by the human's Firepower but then the animals of Pandora airborne and ground born yeah whatever unguided by any Navi help out in the fighting because AWOL has heard Jake's calls and the tides turned the favor of the navi interior even gets the control of the six little skin dog which is some gnarly [ __ ] homes check the news of this momentum to destroy the cargo plane by needing one of its engines and having it blow up on the [ __ ] ground nearby not on the tree and goes through the same on the gunship but not before Scarface prepares for Titanfall while the ship is falling and burning down jumps down with his mech suit to survive the landing which happens to be avoid next to the lap that Jake is connected to his Avatar through but then the Theory shows up with her pet only to have it gets stabbed to death by him and she gets trapped underneath it then Jake shows up for a final 1v1 boss battle where he pokes alone scarfixes fuselage so Scarface takes the whole thing off so he can see and puts an oxygen mask on and Jake does not capitalize on this moment of vulnerability like what the [ __ ] are you doing dude he has no cooldowns attack [ __ ] you know I can see why you lost your legs in the first place because you're a [ __ ] Soldier that's why anyway he then books the whole food jigs left to try and kill Jake at the source but Jay keeps fighting on both ends here for breath here for his life well technically speaking on both ends he's fighting for his life but you get what I mean then the tear frees herself from underneath the dead carcass of the [ __ ] six little dog and his Scarface until the poison arrow then another one Jake wakes up in human form suffocating almost dying and tries to make it to the oxygen mask but can't the TV realizes that Avatar Jake is in a [ __ ] functioning and goes into the lap and sees normal as Jake and gives him the thing to save his life they send the rest of the evolved ape Specter dine planet and only a few are chosen to stay Jake releases to look back into the Wilderness then transfers himself up into cloud storage AKA while to download himself primarily into his Avatar body and become the new clan leader I think this movie gets 10 Papyrus fonts out of a Last Airbender [Music] [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 4,119,549

Keywords: high boi, avatar explained, avatar recap, avatar reaction, funny, haha

Id: f8PCB1uAf7M

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 20 2023