Charlie and the Chocolate factory explained by an idiot

welcome to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory that  starts with chocolate bars being made and five   golden things being played into them at random  and sent off to random locations and the narrator   introducing us to voice critical who lives with  this family that is not rich not powerful has   no connections has no business but as far as I can  tell it's the only family with their own house and   own land otherwise they're probably stricken he  lives in the Crooked House of those grandparents   who have been bed with him for years presumably  and his mom and dad his mom is a stay-at-home   mom who doesn't know how to chop food properly  curl your fingers or you'll lose them God damn   it Gordon Ramsay would be ashamed anyway dad has  a shitty low-paying job that hasn't capping off   toothpaste tubes and he brings back deformed  toothpaste caps to give to Charlie so he can   play with him using that stuff he builds a small  [ __ ] [ __ ] Factory out of them however most of   them are undeformed caps which means that his dad  was stealing from his job but that doesn't matter   because this triggers Grandpa for rice to talk  about how he used to work for Willy Wonka when   he first started making candy witnessing all his  crazy impossible Creations like making life out   of candy and making a whole chocolate Palace all  things I will not comment on because some of the   characters already comment on how impossible  and batshit crazy these things are and it's   a Tim burn movie so it's pointless still gonna  comment on other [ __ ] though so far as I was   working for him on the factory was first built but  then loss of competitor candy makers are attending   in spies to steal good recipes to make their own  super cool weird ass impossible candy so will you   simply fired every single person there and close  the factory down forever till forever ended and he   opened it up again recently but hired absolutely  no one apart from delivery drivers I guess but   nobody and nothing comes in or out of that  factory except for candy and four eyes is like   I'd give anything to get back into that marvelous  Chocolate Factory to see what's become of it but   other grandpa who's kind of bitter than all his  life but you can't and you won't and his wife   who's got a faulty fuse in her brain because he's  all dementia insane person hugs Charlie before   bed and goes nothing impossible Charlie when he  goes to sleep upstairs under a hole in the roof   how's he not freezing to death how are they all  not freezing to death how are they all not dead   because of the structurally unsound [ __ ] house  hasn't collapsed on them yet guess it's held up by   Tim burtonisms as well whatever that night things  were set into motion by Mr Wonka he sent people   out I'm guessing the truck drivers on bikes to go  hang out leaflets for everyone to read tomorrow   that say that he hit five golden tickets and five  random chocolate bars of his or five kids to find   whoever finds them gets invited to a tour of his  Factory and one of these kids will get a special   big prize and that sends everyone into a chocolate  buying frenzy and presumably Wonka stock through   the [ __ ] roof Charlie begins to imagine what  it'd be like to get one of those bars and find   the cool ticket but the only problem is he only  gets one a year on his birthday which is next week   and the better Grandpa's like you've got no chance  only people who can afford to buy a ton of this   stuff dude mark my words the first person to find  a ticket is going to be a fat [ __ ] that's my   type A guy right there that's basically me when I  grow old damn is that my future holy [ __ ] anyway   just like Grandpa hiboy predicted the first one to  find the ticket was a fact from Dusseldorf Germany   yeah they see his interview on TV and they're like  what a repulsive fat [ __ ] they basically bully   every single winner they see on TV which is great  I love it and the next one is from buckinghamshire   England she's a kid with a silver spoon stock  straight up her ass who forced her spine the super   duper Rich Dad to divert all his Factory workers  to opening up tons of chocolate he bought so I   could find one golden ticket for her and when one  of his workers finally found it and tried to steal   it he just happened to be standing right next to  her to take it out of her hand and stop her from   doing this but luck involved in that is [ __ ]  mind-boggling but whatever the grandparents see   this on TV in their lips then the parents come  in to surprise Charlie with his birthday gift   one week early and they sit down to open his one  yearly bar of chocolate the hype is unreal it's   like FIFA Pack openings all over again they open  it and sadly it's just chocolate and Charlie hits   us with a solid Elise what it is and shares the  chocolate among his family one of his grandmas   so like crack and his daddy's lights portion  like this who the [ __ ] eats chocolate like   this do you have front teeth bro are they too  sensitive or something doesn't matter third kid   to find a ticket is a hyper competitive bubble gum  chewing little [ __ ] they diss are on TV than the   fourth kid who only bought one bar of candy and  found the ticket immediately because he cracked   the chocolate distribution code with some [ __ ]  made-up math homie said he didn't even taste the   chocolate because he hates chocolate so Grandpa  haiba rips into this one especially hard like but   it's a good thing of going to a chocolate factory  you're ungrateful little fat then later his dad   gets let go from his job because they modernized  or machineized I forgot what the word is but you   understand they got a robot to replace what he  does which blows and the Situation's super [ __ ]   dire but four eyes gives Charlie his entire life  savings to buy one more candy bar for one more   shot at the golden ticket so the kid runs off  to buy a candy bar while the grandpa shuts his   eyes and dies in his sleep only for the side of a  chocolate bar to resuscitate and breathe life back   into him the hype builds up again for another CS  go skin opening but no luck again no ticket later   on the kids wander around town doing kid [ __ ]  when he stumbles upon 10 whole units of their   National currency then goes into a store to buy  one more chocolate bar for one more shot that's   the store clerk not give him any change back the  does the chocolate bar cost a whole tenor do they   have coins that are worth a whole tenor where  the [ __ ] does this movie take place apparently   no one knows and it's confusing as [ __ ] to find  out because they got British and American accents   Russian and Swedish cars Dutch bikes in what looks  like a fringe super depressed Siberian mining town   or whatever that doesn't matter because he opens  a chocolate bar and Third Time Lucky he finds the   golden ticket inside of it here's how he [ __ ]  loses his mind because it could win a ticket and   the white people try to buy it off of him but  KSI good guy tells him to run back home for the   tickets as fast as he can so he does that shows  it takes his grandpa he sees it and he Springs   out of bed wait a [ __ ] minute either that ticket  has magical healing powers that fixes eyesight and   cured his muscle atrophy from years of not moving  or this [ __ ] was faking being too tired and old   to work and making his family suffer when he was  able-bodied enough to help out anyway says that   they're able to take one member of the family  along with them to watch over them on the first   of February on a tour of the factory and when they  leave they'll be gifted with truckloads of candy   and one of them will be gifted with an even bigger  gift and they decide to send Grandpa for always   along with him yeah okay Charlie brush your teeth  wash your face swipe your ass and rub one out for   post-duck clarity but Charlie thinks that they  can sell the ticket for money because they really   need it more than the chocolate since on the way  over here Omen offered him 500 and exchange are   thick and he thinks they can get more but then  grandpa I was like honey a little donkey goes   over Grandpa was like there's plenty of money  out there they print more of it every day it's   called hyperinflation I figured it out guys the  search is over fear not I know where this takes   place that's what we said in 2008 Zimbabwe mystery  solved so he continues like money come money go   but the experience of the golden ticket is forever  only a [ __ ] [ __ ] would pass that up are you a   [ __ ] [ __ ] no sir attaboy now go plug one out  like he said all the winners lined up in front   of the factory next day and Willy Wonka lets them  and grease them with the Flaming animatronic show   and tries to speak to them but he is the social  [ __ ] that hasn't spoken to anybody in years so   he defaults back to every programmer's first  line of code like Hello World then lets them   in the factory all the kids start trying to suck  his dick to get closer to that big special prize   I mean that figuratively of course they're  trying to suck up them and get close to the   prize kiss his ass basically somehow that's a  more appropriate phrasing for this Violet Stars   I am like Mr Wonka I'm violence I'm Veruca Salt  I'm Augustus and I love your chocolate but we'll   just like don't care don't care don't care still  don't care I don't care I don't even has a small   aneurysm while trying to say the word parents  before they move along with the Torah Augustus   lets out the sneeze slapper of a joke chocolate  sure then you should have water behold everyone   you've just witnessed Peak German humor you're  gonna unlock the super small door that doesn't   actually have a keyhole and opens like a big  door making the fact that you have to unlock   it by bending down completely [ __ ] and stupid  but it's Tim burnism whatever they get into this   magical room where everything they see is edible  not eatable it's pronounced edible okay you're one   to talk shut up my video the flowing river of  melted chocolate he tells everyone to go enjoy   the Delectables Mike TV goes to be the structure  brat while Violet calls Charlie a loser and hides   her gum at the back of her next to continue doing  it later that my dear dumb child is the perfect   way to get gum stuck on your hair also shouldn't  he have told them to take their shoes off before   they entered a room where literally everything  inside they can eat and are probably stepping   over [ __ ] that they want to eat or at least put  some baggies on their feet doesn't matter fat boys   being a gluttonous cow when the rest of them spot  their first sighting of the hard-working Factory   workers that are essentially miniature clones of  the same old random Indian dude but in this movie   they're called Oompa Loompas who are voluntary  slave workers to Willy Wonka because he pays them   on cocoa beans that are very sought after by them  he got them from lupaland which doesn't actually   exist but whatever Tim Burton also don't bloopers  like to make fun of people dying Lulu then Fatboy   spotted trying out some of the chocolate River  and Willie says hey little boy my chocolate must   be Untouched by human hands but you just said  to enjoy by extension of the weakness of that   statement that means everything enjoy everything  now you could have said enjoy everything apart   from the chocolate River but you didn't that's on  you Willy the kid drops to a turkey he can't swim   and then a tube comes along to suck out some  chocolates into a room to make some chocolate   bars and then he accidentally sucks him up as  well he gets stuck in the middle too and no   group who starts singing a song about how fat  this [ __ ] is and bullying him talking about   how he's dealing live and [ __ ] and also their  skin and clothes for some reason are chocolate   hydrophobic unlike Augustus which doesn't make  sense but whatever matua puts his back into it   and sucks him up takes him away to the chocolate  making room and if it suck more Chuck it up like   that covering him inside so we can't see him he  should have died on the way VIA chocolate drowning   but whatever Willie sends off the mama mother  Oompa Loompas to the room where he's supposed   to get boiled alive before he gets boiled alive  the poke his stick in the bowl where he's gonna   end up with and find him and everyone's like that  sound rehearsed like Willie planned for this to   happen or some [ __ ] and he's like it's called  improv also still don't care they keep moving and   getting to a boat and they do gets a flashback of  a childhood where he was out trick-or-treating as   a KKK member and his dentist's father burned all  his Halloween candy hall because he doesn't want   him to destroy his teeth and then we snap back  to reality huge Tim Burton's coming in they go   down a tunnel and end up having some amusement  park fun then go by a series of very important   rooms according to Willy Wonka and hop off at the  inventing room he shows them experimental candies   some finished like the long lasting golf stop room  some not so finished like hair toffee that grows   your hair on top of your head and they missed out  on the opportunity of making a joke about Mike's   pedo dad with a co-over covering his bald spot but  that's okay the thing grows away too much hair and   lastly this stick of gum that is a full course  meal that has a problem which gives you drastic   side effects when you hit the very last meal  that is blueberry flavored the annoying blonde   but shower does not care and takes it to chew it  against all the advice and Orders of the grown-ups   not too because I'm a champion gun shooter I can  do whatever to choose hits all the flavors once   you go to Blueberry Posh she starts turning blue  from her nose and after that she starts swelling   and ballooning up into a giant blueberry and at  no point during her literal physical deformations   does she actually hate everybody's advice and  spit out the piece of [ __ ] gum anyway the   Chupa dupa lupus come out to make fun of her sing  a song and dance about her then Wonka sends off   her mom and the child to go squeeze the [ __ ]  out of her kid to get all the juice out and make   her normal again they keep moving on foot now  because the boat is being used to transport the   big blueberry [ __ ] it's a good thing to see  that there's another way to access these rooms   though he gets another childhood flashback of  him trying candy behind his father's back and   ready them then they go into the nut sorting  room which is made up of a bunch of squirrels   or sorting and cracking open walnuts ain't that  a bit unhygienic like do Health Inspectors come   in here I'm sure the tough coats for factories  that make food right no no one comes in or out   except for candy that's what they said right  and how the [ __ ] does he how does he legally   operate this [ __ ] until stuff doesn't matter I'm  overthinking this the squirrels sort the nuts and   throw the bad ones into this hole so they see that  enrichment is like that day I want to squirrel so   he asked Willy Wonka to buy one but will walk  until something they're not for sale she can't   have one so she's like but he can't do anything  so she decides to go get one herself and slip   through the gate walks through the not soaring  place and all the squirrels look at her like who   that what's going on Steve we see a two Jensen  holy [ __ ] watch out don't you dare come near   me [ __ ] I once kill the CEO with a [ __ ] hot  dog that Wonka dude's been feeding us nothing but   LSD engagement rape [ __ ] touch me and so help  me God woman Hell hath no fury like squirrels do the squirrels attack while the dad is fully one  could open a tiny gate and he keeps fumbling   around with the keys while the squirrels go  pin her down to the check if she's a bad nut   like now let's see knock knock yup nothing in  there she's rotten boys they throw down the   garbage shoot which leads to the incinerator and  only after that happens does Wonka find the key   to open the gate for the father that guy is no  obstacle for a grown ass man you can totally hop   over it the father is a [ __ ] all the parents  are [ __ ] the mom of the fat kid didn't even   ask Will it to stop the slot machine or try and  jump into the drink to save her son Blondie's mom   didn't forcibly try to take the [ __ ] gum out  of her kid's mouth like a dog that is chewing   something he's not supposed to and they all just  stood idly by enjoying the show also they should   have feared for their children after the first  guy got [ __ ] definitely after the second you   know what they say hold me one shame on you  fool me twice shame on poop I don't know what   I'm saying anymore whatever let's keep going  thankfully the interior is not working that day   and all that has to do is go after her Pine term  and get her out and while he steps in the ring the   UMP was come out to do the usual thing sing and  dance while they throw some trash and perfect good   food down the shoe and a squirrel kicks the father  inside they keep moving with the tour and into a   glass elevator that goes up down sideways slamways  every single way not slapping down and passed by a   lot of non-tensical magical rooms that I'm not  gonna come around I'm just going to enjoy the   spectacle another flashback happens of him running  away from home and his dad saying that when he   comes back he won't be here so he runs away for  like a couple hours or some [ __ ] and then he   comes back and finds that the house is completely  gone the dude detach it from the [ __ ] block and   air lifted it out when the penis swaddling [ __ ]  was at whatever while the firework artillery room   Mike wants to choose a room himself so he picks  the television room and they start redirecting   to make their way over there and one thing I will  comment on in this sequence is the complete and   other disregard for the laws of physics and  inertia that are clearly present because For   one when the boats are moving in the chuckle River  will he jolted backwards suddenly when it started   moving but he is completely unaffected from all  the [ __ ] very abrupt motions of this elevator   another thing is they keep using the shot of  them slamming into the glass when the abrupt   motion of the elevator takes place also the last  time it took place they started moving forward and   they slammed forward to the glass shouldn't happen  they should trip backwards but whatever it doesn't   matter they get to the television room where  he had the idea to send chocolate through the   TV so anybody could reach into the TV and grab  a chocolate bar and have one and I'm not gonna   rip into him for why and hell that's impossible  because the getaway does that for me they bring   in a huge chocolate bar to do a demonstration  it has to evict to make up for the fact that   it's going to be extremely tiny on TV which is  a huge waste but Willy Wonka logic whatever he   presses the button he gets Zapped away and they  flip the channel to 2001 A Space Odyssey and the   chocolate bar replaces the monolith that's there  I'm trying to use it and takes it out it takes a   bite it's actually real works and Mike TV gets mad  at Willy Wonka for inventing [ __ ] teleportation   and using it on freaking candy then runs over  to the machine presses the button and stand   inside the machine itself so he gets Zapped away  into the TV but the parent does the usual [ __ ]   job of stopping himself and doing the stupid thing  and he gets sent to the TV starts singing and the   channel is about his stupidity and making fun of  him as usual then the dad reaches in and takes him   out as a tiny little piece of [ __ ] human and  he gets taken away by a [ __ ] Hindu guy to go   stretch his son out in a Taffy stretcher to make  a normal size Again by the way on that channel   where the Oompa Loompa gets into the shower with  Mike he looks directly up unless wearing a bathing   suit that kid look directly at his dick and balls  don't look at me it's the movie that did it I'm   just putting it out anyway Walker realizes that  Charlie was the only one left so by default he   wins he congratulates him when they get into the  elevator to shoot out of the tallest chimney and   turns into a rocket power elevator more laws  of physics are ignored they fly past all the   kids leaving the factory Augustus is covered in  chocolate either that or he has somehow morphed   into a part chocolate himself blue girl is still  blue but back to normal size with extreme facility   ability Rich screens are now covered in garbage  and Mike is now 2D and very tall they go over   to Charlie's house and Causeway one cause a dick  just like his name implies they crash land inside   the house come on that has to be the last straw  that topples over this completely [ __ ] house   there's no way it's still standing whatever will  explains that he's gonna give Charlie this whole   Factory because one day he figured out that he's  getting old and he needs an error to give him all   the [ __ ] when he dies so he made this whole  golden ticket [ __ ] and invited five kids to   the factory and decided to give the factory to  the least one child and Charlie's that winner so   he doesn't take him over and be his partner now  and give him the thing when he dies hand penguin   zero asks him if he can take assembly without  one cause like of course not so Charlie refuses   to come because he's watched enough Fast and  Furious movies to know how important family is   I know I've used a version of that joke multiple  times before and no I don't think it's getting old   bite me would he leave surprised as [ __ ] that  the kid refused such an offer and he's kind of   sounding disappointed by that then the buckets  tell me look starts turning around they don't   Sue Willy Wonka for damaging their house and fix  the roof themselves I wonder if they ever got the   truckloads of chocolate they were promised and  profitable for them by selling them I wonder if   anybody got the chuckles with chocolate doesn't  matter the kids dad gets a better job fixing the   machine the toothpaste company got to replace him  four eyes is way more active in helping around the   house but Willie is in his slump his chocolates  and candy ideas aren't selling that good so it   goes to therapy and figures out the reason that  he's making [ __ ] inventions and candy ideas is   because he feels like [ __ ] so the golden seeks  out Charlie in the street and asks him what makes   him feel better when he feels like [ __ ] and he  tells him that Dominic the better makes him feel   that family makes him feel better Broncos like  ill so Charlie offers to go visit Wonka's dad   with him because he's too [ __ ] through alone  and I don't know how they found it but they take   the rocket elevator to go to the hill that his dad  [ __ ] airlifts his house over to they go in for   tooth checkup where there are newspaper clippings  of Willy Wonka's achievements throughout the year   is obviously meaning that his dad is proud of him  and the dude recognizes his son through inspecting   his teeth they Embrace and make up I guess Willy  makes the same off to Charlie again who accepts   on the condition his family comes with till they  transport the whole [ __ ] house into the factory   try not working with him and I'm guessing becoming  an insanely Rich multi-millionaire via osmosis   they sit down to have dinner one because now  basically part of the family with insane Grandma   telling him you smell like penis and you smell  like experimental medications and IV bags and   they all live happily ever after this movie gets  58 Snickers bars out of 60 Reese's cups [Music]   foreign [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 5,042,261

Keywords: charlie and the chocolate factory, charlie and the chocolate factory recap, charlie and the chocolate factory explained, charlie and the chocolate factory funny recap, charlie and the chocolate factory explained by high boi, high boi, funny, haha

Id: Jo46_UnTQjE

Length: 15min 4sec (904 seconds)

Published: Wed May 24 2023