Finding Nemo explained by an idiot

welcome to finding nemo where merlin the clownfish goes looking for his only son who's lost right and how this happened was he had a woman he got her a house at the drop-off which is apparently a big deal okay like if you're living here you're [ __ ] in high cotton okay and they go to check on their 100 or so offspring in the garage i guess then they do some foreplay and see a big bad [ __ ] wendy killer fish so he climbed in your windows had your kids had your wife but [ __ ] didn't get the memo she didn't get them she couldn't get the memo kill me and leads killer fish directly to her kids because she wanted to protect them against the voice of marlon he gets flicked around because he's small fishy and [ __ ] gets herself and all her kids [ __ ] murdered great job [ __ ] stupid wyman then clown guy wakes up and finds him in their driveway i guess one lonesome scarred egg and he calls it nemo and vows to protect it forever never never never a couple years later where he's super overprotective of his son bemo who's a bit grown up and has a [ __ ] fin from that scar right and i think they have moved into the middle of the city because it's safer and this year he's [ __ ] allowing his illiterate piece of [ __ ] son to go to school after years of not going because he's a massive [ __ ] so they make their way over to the school bus and abide by traffic laws because it's not like they're fish or anything and they can swim over this [ __ ] [ __ ] jackasses anyway this ass flap of the fish that killed my boy steve irwin is apparently the entire school the soul teacher and the school bus itself somehow i think it's called stingray on a parkour because muran be like can you take special care of my son because he got this [ __ ] fan can't really swim my damn embarrassing in front of my friends they take off and do not need to hold on to his back to ride him like that because as we all know inertia isn't really a thing underwater because [ __ ] logic anyway marlon finds out that they're going to the drop off and he gets ptsd from it so he'd be like no chemo can't go to the drop-off and he goes to get him meanwhile they have in class but it's really like a field trip cream on a few friends sneak off to the edge of the drop off to see a boat and have a dick measuring contest to see how close they can get to it then try to peer pressure emo into a bahayan budget and his dad comes along like what the [ __ ] you're doing i'm mad at him and stuff but he wasn't really gonna do anything then the murderer comes along like sorry i was murdering another national treasure what can i help you with and name will use this distraction to go out and show his dad that he doesn't need that much protection he's a big boy and he's gonna go out and touch the boat and his dad notices and he's like come back here i swear to god if you touch that boat i'ma cut off all your fans and shove them so far up your ass you're gonna throw them up hey young fish don't you dare but cream will be like [ __ ] you died then he swims back in a bunch of strong words about discipline from his pop-up who completely missed the [ __ ] divers sneaking up on fabio then another one pops up and flashbacks him while they back his son up listen i get not seen the second diver because he was hidden but look at this you had all this distance to the spot and warned your son but he did [ __ ] neither what a [ __ ] dumbass uncooked fish finger doesn't matter they take supremo up to the boat and cruise off while merlin tries to chase after them but tiny fishies no swim fast enough and his son is officially lost let the finding of nemo commence so he goes down to look for help asking the masses if they saw a boat go by and he bumps into dory and this blue fish who says that she saw a boat go by and tries to help him but he very quickly finds out that he has short-term memory loss and he goes i see well thanks dementia dory but you're madly unhelpful and then they meet bruce the shark who takes them to an aaa meeting for sharks are trying to get off meth i mean eating fish and the meeting takes place in the old sub surrounded by mines and marlin is high key shooting himself but dory is all hunky-dory just vibing like hi i'm dory and i've never eaten a fish so strong incredible then marvel notices one of the diver's masks that they knocked off while kidnapping his son then accidentally sacks door in the face with that and she bleeds to bed and goes up bruce's nose and that has the same effect on him as snoring a line of cocaine straight off a hooker's ass and now he has a real appetite for eating fishies so they swim for their life he finds out that dory can read they hide in a torpedo hole then bruce throws a torpedo at a mine and everything goes kaboom rico i thought mines are supposed to be triggered when these pony thingies get pushed in not just by any light tap like that because if so then they would have went nuclear a long time ago right if anybody knows please like me in the comments meanwhile the dentist that caught steemo puts him in his tank and we meet the tank and say hi to cheddar cheese female patrick vaporwave morpheus fish oprah winfrey french shrimpy dorito zebra fish and bird pelican guy who slammed straight into the window to observe the dentist do his dentist stuff with the fishies by the way this [ __ ] muppet of a dentist doesn't notice him slamming into the [ __ ] window and he only kicks him out once he talks to the fishes a bit also here they can't hear patrick can't hear you [ __ ] i said we got a live one but now they can what do we got root canal and by the looks of those x-rays it's not gonna be pretty how just hell this doesn't make any sense at all what the f doesn't matter they find out that the dentist is gonna give away chemo to a small prostitute [ __ ] ass niece darla who's a fish killer and three more freaks out get stuck in this suction tube and the widow zebras like get out on your own i can't i got a [ __ ] fin never stop me [Music] so lando wigs around a bit and is able to get on his own good for him now [ __ ] him and back to his dead dory who are currently waking up from an explosion coma and run away from the sub that is sliding up a cliff into this chasm of doom and they keep swimming away in a straight line instead of going left our way to avoid the sub like the just brain fish they are that's okay the sub stops they get lucky but dory drops the mask into the mariana trench that clownfish is too afraid to go down because he's a massive regime but dory sigma female has exactly zero shits to give and drags him down with her why aren't there any sigma female memes huh i thought this was supposed to be the age of equality [ __ ] is right though single male sounds funnier also don't all fish have their respective depth limit and if they go past it they would you know die man it doesn't matter i'm just gonna pretend that they're depth is infinite so down there they find this fish that uses a slight as bait to eat other fish and run away from it and spot the mask so merlin does evasive maneuvers while she reads the address on the back of the mask and they trap the fugly ass fish and he asks her what she read and she'd be like oh that's easy sherman 42 while he wasted me i remember something yeah cool but where is that i need to find my son man [ __ ] your son i remember [ __ ] now back to the [ __ ] son he becomes part of the tank gang and they hatch a deserted plan to help him and all of them escape by ruling the filtration system or tank cleaning system thingy to make it dirty as [ __ ] so the dentist will have to clean the tank and to do that he has to take them all out and put them individual baggies at which point they will try and roll out the window and escape into the sea a plan which zebra doritos says is foolproof but i don't see how they're able to roll up this ledge and fall down onto the sidewalk without exploding and roll through the street without cars running them over then up the cliff that is this curb then into this year and i'm gonna be proven right with this last bit because nemo gets put into an individual baggie and put into a tray that he cannot escape from and the curb is definitely higher than this ledge right here so [ __ ] you that fool-proof plan of yours can suck my balls all right in the meanwhile dad breaks up with dory cause he's really annoying and he gets mocked by school of fish then helped by them see they give him directions on how to get to sydney they're gonna need to go on this underwater highway or something and they point them in the right direction and off they go except they test story with remembering to go through the big bad trench when they meet it not over it which she immediately forgets because damn look at that big ass trench and because marlon is a pussy-ass beta male cuck he wants to go over the trench not through it and at first the coast on top seems to be clear they see the highway current thingy and is all good but and yet another example of characters in this movie being blind [ __ ] tunnel visioning bastards either that or [ __ ] keeps appearing out of thin water like magic they get descended upon by a horde of jellyfish then cause dory high on that good cush she decides to make a race out of getting out of here by jumping on top of the jellyfish is uh the bubbly wobbly pit i don't know i don't [ __ ] know what these things are called but the part that doesn't stain yet and for once the clown starts vibing along like are you hungry dory because you're about to eat my balls [ __ ] and he makes it out wins the race but at what cost because door is not there so he goes back and finds her tangled in the jellyfish tentacles thingy bits so he saves her and stings the [ __ ] out of himself but you know they get out and they pass out for like the third time in this movie i think and a little while later he wakes up on the shell of the chillest turtle on planet earth home dog is [ __ ] zoinked out of his mind and they are in the east australian curve which is the ocean highway i was talking about and he holds onto his shell for this fast bit which completely goes against the logic of the kids being on the stingray bus but [ __ ] whatever who cares then he finds dory at the sub level right and she got a scar on her but she don't care and apparently neither do the animators because that scar miraculously disappears as the movie progresses either that or that's not a scar it's a wound and a healed and i'm just [ __ ] anyway she playing with the little dudes jelly man learns a blessing about parenting from crush about trusting your kids and [ __ ] and then the little shits gather around for him to tell him the story of his travels up until now which travels through the mouth from turtle to fish to fish to crap to dolphin to bird the birds must have a horrible version of this kick-ass story because they're only hearing half of what the dolphins are saying that doesn't matter though because the story gets transferred all the way to paul the pelican who's friends with the tank game so he flies over to them and slams into the window again this time the dentist notices the slam but then completely ignores paul when he talks to the fishes which is the complete opposite of what happened last time where's the [ __ ] consistency for the love of ass [ __ ] who cares because nemo is the preso espresso given his imminent doom and the fact that he almost got turned to sushi earlier on when he tried to execute zebra dorito's plan but paul's here now when he hears his dad's story and he gets the motivation to go give the plan another shot jams the gears of the water filtration purification thingy then crawls through the suction tube when it's not suction suctioning you know and the heist is completed plus 69 rp go talk to lester now back to jelly man dead and blue [ __ ] there is another fast bit of the ac not holding on to the crusher's shell which again is just um it's completely the opposite of i'm not even gonna [ __ ] no no whatever they take a swirly exit that are instructed to just turn around and swim straight on to get to kangaroo land sydney but they get lost and she goes hey let's ask that very ominous and scary looking fish over there but he'd be like no so she'd be like what is it with men and asking for directions so he goes i don't wanna play the gender card why is that buddy is it because you don't want the audience to find out that clownfish can flip the flappy between genders if their mate dies to keep doing coitus and you know make more offspring and [ __ ] technically making this whole movie one fish is a relentless pursuit for incest that's right you heard me [ __ ] you and your childhood so this little [ __ ] over here turns out to be a big ass [ __ ] over here so dory tries to speak to in whale but marlon gets pissed at her and the world's fastest whale gets out of their sight and circles behind them while they're talking about whale dialects and ends up swallowing them both this all happens in less than 30 seconds lightning mcqueen whale anyway inside his mouth marlon gets clinical depression like [ __ ] dude i'm never gonna be able to tap my son's ass then lightning mcqueen starts flushing the toilet that is his mouth lifts up his tongue and dory says he's telling him to let go so transistor fish finally trusts her and does so and they get shattered at lightning mcqueen's blowhole not butthole but blowhole okay right next to city so they thank mr whale and start looking around for the address or boat i guess i'm not sure and while this was happening the tank gang were literally swimming in their own [ __ ] the tank is pure filth so next day [ __ ] dentist cleaned up the tank while they were asleep i don't know how he managed to do that without waking them up but he did and then he installed this high-tech cleaning thingy the day that [ __ ] darla's supposed to arrive then he tries to take cremo but fishes unite and they all swim down to save nemo from this net and somehow this [ __ ] dentist does not at all question this massive feat of intelligence his fishes have performed and just [ __ ] blows it off and sneakily bags nemo and puts him in a tray he can't escape from then satan himself arrives switch back to [ __ ] fish and sigma woman who get caught by a pelican then coughed back up because [ __ ] fish grew some balls and ain't ready to die and they meet paul who figures out that his name was dead but they try to flop away continuing on the pier or the wood stuff instead of jumping back into the water what a bunch of [ __ ] fish ombre whatever paul follows and they end up surrounded by a bunch of ultra selfish [ __ ] seagulls and he's like jump into my mouth i know your gimpy fin son let's go and he flies off with them does some clever smart boy flying to get rid of the flying dodos they make their way over to dentist office where nemo is playing dead to get flushed down the toilet because all drains lead to the toilet in this movie wait no no all the rains lead to the sea in this movie but dentist [ __ ] goes for trash can instead then paul arrives and marlon controls him like ratatouille but with tongue this time to go save his son but ends up just causing a commotion and dumb master gets a hold of nemo shaking him and [ __ ] almost killing him paul gets kicked out tank gang uses the bubble volcano thing machine to launch zebra dorito onto darla to piss her off and the bag explodes dentist knocks himself out and dorito zebra launches cuifo into the dentist spitball thingy then the dentist wakes up and puts him back into the tank end of quick time events nemo is currently in the pool water treatment facility and paul sadly deposits the dynamic duo into the sea because they all think that bmw's dead then merlin breaks up with dory for real this time and she be like please don't go away i remember stuff with you and he'd be like [ __ ] hop off the stick and see a doctor or some [ __ ] then he leaves and nemo pops out of the sewage pipe right after his dad passes a bite then finds dory and asks her for help and she remembers everything so they go looking for clown dead and she uses her expert crab interrogation skills to find him mine all right the family is reunited but the drama ain't over because the fishing net swoops down catching a bunch of tuna i think i don't know my fish but they catch dory along with them so huifu wants to use a big brain move of sewing down to save her and everyone along with her but [ __ ] that be like no i'm not gonna lose you again please die you have to trust me and he's like okay fine everyone gets told to swim down as hard as they can from the inside and the outside and a tug of war commences with the fishing boat the aquatic creatures win this tug of war and given how fast stories travel to word of mouth in this movie i'm guessing the entire ocean figures out this 200 iq trick and the fishing industry [ __ ] crashes anyway supremo got going pretty hard into ocean bed but he gucci mane and he's still alive and they go back home to the reef merlin no longer a [ __ ] kids a lot to go to school hunky dory keeps attending sharks anonymous and the tan gang somehow [ __ ] with a high-tech water cleaning thingy and escape into the ocean now you go super blowfish again but closer to the back so it pops then you do the same for your friends simple you [ __ ] [ __ ] morpheus fish come on man anyway this movie gets 9 turtles out of 3.8 plastic straws [Music]

Channel: High Boi

Views: 2,859,461

Rating: 4.9731507 out of 5

Keywords: high boi, finding nemo, finding nemo review, finding nemo recap, finding nemo explained, funny, haha

Id: 7YVy3ftlw2E

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 24 2021