Jack & Erik - H3 Podcast #168

- well it's been a long break but we are back we are back in black is what one people say but I'm not black I'm a white guy our logo is black our logo well no no there's that one community says we're back in black what is back in black who's that one comedian back in the feel like context is everything Louis black so I can't be back in black I'm back in white back and still white that sound good is this a rough start well something has never changed it is good to be back Wow back in black yes ela we have a new look that is black kind of I thought that's what you were gonna dig that new logo he's gonna make something ambiguously not racist obviously but just something that makes you uncomfortable yeah it's all inclusive you got all the colors in the spectrum man when you take a break first of all we're here with Jack and Eric I'm not just gonna sit here and pretend like you guys aren't here just we've been gone for a long time and I wanted to address my people it's been like since last no two Christmases ago since we've been on this that's right that's out really out oh damn when were they last on yeah he's right it was and it was December 2018 2019 even count them no I'm gonna just wipe that whole year out of my memory I'm fine I don't need it it wasn't the best year whatever you know okay it feels like it's only been two months now yeah hey I took a month break from the podcast and I was getting um I was over it I was was ready to come back I wanted to come back and work man there's nothing more depressing than just like sitting at home with nothing to do when you're totally over it I was fired up we were when I came in he was doing pull-ups Ethan was just snortin blinds of coke these guys are fired up they're ready to come back yeah who's gonna be a hell of a show I have been actually pull up you Wallops not pull up but exercising no so what exercise I'm getting in shape all kinds yeah cardio weights both TRX ins urine he's got ropes and ropes involve all medicine ball mmm she's getting ready to poop out another baby we're trying to squirting her that's lovely you guys have picked up some medical terms yeah you spend enough time around a gynecologist don't read like so when did you squirt in her exactly right what he meant is when did you guys conceive oh I thought like you meant like spit he may have meant that what I don't think yeah so the kids are calling it these days but what about you guys and are you guys trying to give birth anytime soon we've been trying yeah I mean I'm putting on weight but it's not good as a baby oh no it's just I've been eating a lot of cheese steaks cheesesteak hoagies I gotta tell you I'm not a fan of the cheese stick that's okay but you're from not yeah fine you get a good cheesesteak around here honest yo yeah actually yes please there's a place called booze and there's one in Silver Lake and there's one in North Hollywood and they fly in the rolls from Philly Amoroso roll thank you I mean I guess you can make them but like a cheesesteak isn't a very impressive meal it's sort of just like stay comes all chopped up yes Cheez Whiz which is not actually cheese it's cheese yeah I think so I mean the the you could get a provolone on it but like something ghetto where is wit is cheese whiz and grilled onions on steak sounds actually yeah absolutely horrifically staple so wait wait I thought they were all that's what they're protective about I haven't met many protective Philadelphia people about anything other than like their parking spots mm-hmm I guess that's a misunderstanding it's about it yeah they like the team's constantly lose and unless they go all the way they either lose horrific Lee or they are the way the whole thing and the whole thing now it's very ridiculous it's like they're okay so who's the hero of Philly like is rocky they build a statue out of this guy the hometown hero he [ __ ] loses in the first movie he doesn't make it yeah they make a whole nother movie just for him to win so that's Philly to me at least just the cheesesteaks not even that cuz I could find them here the rolls in a little slice of home damn I've always been shocked by your your disinterest in Philly because I'm not from Phil I am from the East Coast but I'm not from Philly and I love Philly I feel like I really more than you do and you're out yeah from the place I'll definitely miss Philly woody Philly I love I love the city life I love just what about every other city it's good no you look different it's cozier the people are friendlier they're not flaky as they are in LA it's a different vibe a whole different vibe in Philly Philly is March charming Lane it's charming that's the word I've been there once once well then the thing is we went there with John and jumped the lens that John casts on the city is that he hates it he's like a New Yorker he looks down on Philly oh I can imagine me New York people hate Philly yeah difference between by the way New York people are the worst people maybe in the world and I'll tell you why they're just a bunch of bitter [ __ ] yeah they hate LA I went to New York and everyone's talking [ __ ] on LA I was like whoa like we're supposed to have some rivalry but I didn't know we were in a rivalry does everybody in LA is just [ __ ] happy and joyful right but all the New Yorkers that move to LA they're the best right because they it's almost like getting out of a cult it's like you're breaking out of Scientology but when you go in you or can you're like I'm moving to LA they go why I was like do you not have you been to LA do you know anything about LA and they're like 'no people who grew up la tend to want to move to New York for a little bit too and I say a little bit because they want to go there but then winter hits and they're like oh [ __ ] this yeah this place smells and it's cold that was zero degrees and it still smells like piss yeah doesn't piss freeze the concrete is soaked like a carpet God is just like well here's my toilet [ __ ] on this place yeah yeah and in Central Park somehow I noticed that it always smells like dog [ __ ] you notice this phenomenon when you excuse me please part of me everybody yeah you notice when you walk past a dog [ __ ] the cement follows you for uncannily long time yeah it's like your nose is like mmm it's like anonymous how can I be you're like 30 yards away 50 yards away yet the smell lingers explain that check well I was I was I can't follow because I can't relate because I avoid Central Park every time just because of the horror stories I hear Oh Central Park's great Oh only good part of the city really because I thought that's where like all the [ __ ] you get REME uh gangs and killings happen they're welded so the park is huge no sprint no no no he's right that's where you go to get raped or [ __ ] a dude in the bushes that happens too but the park is huge that happens I swear to god you walk there at night and there's you see a gay dude you could tell he's gay you could tell but he wanders off dude well you could tell by certain indicator he walks up but he want his dick yeah that's like that giveaway and he's and he's walking and then he like goes off the path into the bushes dudes [ __ ] in Central Park that's a known phenomenon but the park is huge if you're in the South Park near you know Midtown then it's very fun and jovial the more you go up he's looking at 80 9100 Street that's where you're gonna get a dick in your butt like it's tough to for me to imagine no but they're shady there's little there's definitely places where I feel nothing I would say would not walk there alone at night though that's that's a big thing I said now god ascribes all of New York yeah okay yeah there you go yeah and vent Philly I mean when I lived in Philly I will walk to the only place that wouldn't card me so I could get big old twelve packs of lions head it was called is cheaper it was cheaper than a PBR Wow lions head is that a local brewery maybe probably not undergo they doesn't make its own stuff cheaper than PB are cheaper than PBR how much was it for a twelve hour it was like I think it was like seven or eight bucks something that's competitively priced and I'd walk like 10 blocks to get it but it was always it was like a like a video game coming back I'd be like I'm gonna get hurt on that that route I'm gonna go around I'll see you've got a prize beer mm-hmm yeah I've beer really is that they're like well I have an ID but I don't have the money and I don't feel like walking I'm just gonna go run this guy over you ever think about doing that yourself what knocking someone out and thicker beer yeah yeah we've all played I did it the Jaclyn's that's true knocked his ass and you know what I would have done the same I can't blame you I'm not even mad didn't even have beer those free well I do have some white wine we have some lovely assortment I want to see that gadget you've got yeah we're all of you so this is a Katherine's vineyard now it's just like oh you are a lush oh my god you want all these Wow Wow first off we are first of all you can't come with this [ __ ] not be judged you can't gank jazz you can't come right without what that's really the joke was headed and I'm just a dirty evil no you can't cut you first of all I'm sure the mustache like that you come buckets what what mustache well my little framer curry thing going on here there's a story behind this do by the way really boring one that is kind of cool right but for someone who likes one it just feels like a little insecure to me you know okay I don't like the the gadgets that you know make you do it by hand I you ever break the core that's scared all the [ __ ] time that's why I get that or that I really but that that was a perfect open and it's like that every time but it's like you gotta carry whoa Jeff what Jeff was linking it back and forth making it being a melee weapon this thing's a pieces didn't really exert must for plastic a pro oh Christ but I listen honey I'll buy you another one I got you one of these for Christmas anyway so I just wanted them I didn't know you already had one sighs now we're right now that looks like a weapon though but ya know I could do some damage push the button does it work oh yeah you're still good I'll buy it I'm very sorry I didn't know that was gonna happen it's very embarrassing boys my face red okay you thing is I'm I've have a baby and and I've just I have changed I get it so how let's let's talk about this let's discuss well I had a baby and I gotta go take care of him thank you and I'm very sensitive to alcohol I have a tendency to a little bit make a fool of myself as drawing doors you know Wade yeah it's way too much this is enough you know yeah the baby's great and it's weird to be drunk around a baby yeah yeah I can't even be drunk around my puppy it's apparently the Parenthood so when are you guys having babies though you got married you got so what's going on you should like my aunt is it baby I appreciate to ask that question it's not it's here's the deal I trust you guys and that's fine but like anyone else I think it went when it's like an exponent expectation when it's kind of like literally like an aunt saying yeah it's like back up yeah but I like on a podcast that's a different thing yeah stinky great that's the wine it's a Chardon nose like Central Park I'm here we have a juggler like the sharpening the chardonnay the sharp discharge um well I only asked you because we're in you know front of nearly a million people no naturally uh no we we talk about it all the time and I think we we do want to have you but like we're not actively personally trying we're yeah we're we're getting there we're like we're kind of warming up to the idea we're talking about like not right now but within the nice I mean we were down I am a 31 she's 32 32 okay yeah we had that time when we both kind of like started to talk about it that we definitely want to do it but like not right now yeah kind of thing well wouldn't yeah and then when we decided was kind of where were like well this seems like a good time yeah let me ask you this do you ever feel it was there a point where you ever felt where I write read it yeah no I'm just kidding where you felt ready because like the whole thing yes like we don't feel ready we want to be selfish we want to like travel yeah we were both kind of like looking at each other and it's like this is kind of a good time yeah like probably as ready as we're gonna be yeah cool yeah for sure I'm surprised to hear the pleasantly surprised because the typical answer I usually hear is like you're never ready there's never a good time well that statements that you always hear is [ __ ] nobody do that you're never prepared to raise you're really prepared and you're never gonna know everything that's true but also but no one knows for knows we're all we're all kind of guessing sorta yeah yeah this wine is really nice yeah you like it right yeah it is buttery okey I don't know oh sweet oh yeah is it but I will tell you that it can take it can take like it can take a while so you should frequently do you do it what's your favorite position alright in order know I'll spare in honor of my wife I'll spare the gory details but gore [Laughter] let me answer that question with a question okay has it not answered at all but how like how hard is is Parenthood or what like in the initial throes of it like the Apple I the first two months are awful okay the worst awful well we had a specially bad time with him but it was like a colleague baby which means gassi gassi and super like like you would feed him and then it's a whole three hours of drama because he's uncomfortable and spitting up and crying and you don't know if he's still hungry or not hungry and you're over fighting him or you didn't it's just kind of like you gotta dial it in it was a mess but that was the first two months okay and and then from like month as soon as he like passed at first two months every every week it started to get easier gotcha yeah we're in month seven now right seven and now it's only getting better it's like it's so sweet and he's starting to learn things like every week is learning something new every day pretty much you see something new that's oh that's gotta be fascinating yeah it's real and even in the hard time it's like it's so amazing it's not like you're gonna regret it it's you know what I mean oh yeah I don't think anyone should like that it's not hard it's really hard well you won't be able to go anywhere you won't be able to hang out with people that much mm-hmm you'll always be at home I mean you can go out with the baby but he did he's not good for that long it's right really important to get help as much as you can okay really important so you can still get the house sometimes still do something have you had like family come help at all yeah yeah well you want a housekeeper or or in any or anything but just like get yourself help and don't feel like you got to be the hero and do everything cool that's what will ruin your life yeah and that's why poor people are so miserable because they can't do that stuff I mean it's it's to be poor dude I mean that's right if you don't have the money it's important to be in your family because they won't help you wrinkly I mean you know it's one or the other if you don't have family Iran we're lucky to have his mom who does help us but it's still not enough so I could use 10 moms to be frank yeah I'm sure it's never enough but the truth is actually having being a parent highlights how like privileged you are to have money it's easy to forget but even just enough money like buying a crib and buying diapers and buying food and getting help and all these little things that don't bother me I mean that was part of the reasons that we were waiting because for a while we felt like we weren't we didn't even have a stable income or didn't even know what we're gonna do the next week like yeah oh I don't know single parents to it boy he's like you hear about these like these moms in the inner-city raising three kids by herself I'm like bro that's like her oke said I know how that's even possible so kudos to those uh for those moms out there that's why being Amish probably rules really it's probably the best thing about being Amish is like you have your whole family and community dude build you a crib yeah they go babies out there like okay here's the crib and want us to build it a house well we all work here yeah we're not really leaving it takes a village a fee and I've heard it that mental illness is very uh very slight among the amount of incest that I'm assuming community well maybe that's yeah that's gotta be in there right I'm not making that up like that's so tiny and dads do are the Amish inbred look that up wait well I think incest is in all communities all around the world Amish well real family no one's safe the royal family Amish the Queen the Jew well I mean ashkani or yeah Ashkenazi Jews were all inbred that's where we all have all these really neurological diseases what [ __ ] because back in the day we had our little village and we [ __ ] ran around in our little suits look nobody wanted to [ __ ] us so [ __ ] each other and to be honest there's like stinky soot we're like bro you have to be you have to be very generous to [ __ ] a Hasidic Jew right uh I mean while I've lived in Israel for five years so there they wear the suits they got the hats they don't shower nearly enough one of the million degrees outside they stock the black suit they stink bro they stink and you know they don't shave you seen their face imagine what their dicks look like wait I always thought those were like fake that is commitment yes yeah we're gonna do it their faces look so gnarly so imagine what these dudes look naked and they're all pretty fat too cuz that you know that wife's at home cooking that's all she does all fat well a lot of the ones you see are pretty chunky picture yeah let's see this yeah you asked for so Eric what about you man my tooth hurts you know I typed that and the first thing that come up is Jewish form what I typed fat Hodgkin's weren't Jewish born and there's nothing good came up all I see is a bunch of crap it's just like a family dinner well okay so any other questions about Parenthood well I was gonna deflect a bit to Eric and ask like you know you and you and Sam you ever have the kid talk oh when we need a kid we'll get one okay fair enough that's gonna be older than two months or she just get that yeah yeah whatever we're gonna name it it's a choose it I think this is a year old and be like what are you and it's gonna be like like Power Ranger Tyrannosaurus like you got it that'll be the first time it ever hears the English language in fact it'll be talking like Nell like now nobody gets my Nell jokes I make jokes about the movie no never heard of the movie - Jodie Foster movie okay where they find a feral child or like a barrel woman in a cabin and she doesn't know English oh you know what language there's a fit there's a filly podcast radio show we listen to every morning Preston and Steve and they use a sound bite of a from Mel and I think it's that it's like this thing like gibberish like in it it's like a feral child make their own language I think it's from that movie I sure hope so otherwise it's all it's an offensive sound but no it's a feral kid she's like intelligent she just doesn't quite have a grasp on [ __ ] snuck in a cabin in the woods we kept there we can't make fun of her jack Wow I think we can cancel there's only one of her I'm surprising humorless fat hairy Hasidic Jew bah and now you're openly making fun of ya [ __ ] spaceship so corkscrew now guys I have an update about that Amish being inbred broke that anyone want to hear this oh wait you found out yeah almost all honest descend from about 200 eighteenth-century founders that's crazy genetic disorders that come out due to inbreeding exists in more isolated districts so that means damn that the people who are more isolated they can't find other amich from other communities to rub dicks with or you know not dicks because probably being gays not cool with animals and also you can't reproduce when you rub dicks go ahead and to you yeah I I can verify that rubbing dicks does not make you pregnant there you go Amish mixers you know Amish communities need are at the Philadelphia Zoo well that's another Philly thing like you go the Phillies ooh and these [ __ ] Amish people everywhere oh they love the zoo animals Aaron yeah being for work the buggy so there's a bunch of buggies no some of them can drive where they take the bus like the the thing about [ __ ] poser I'm not an Amish expert by any means but they use electronic it sounds like you are giving baby maybe the older ones are a little more so what's Griffith what's what does it mean to be Amish if you're using electronics I don't know I think that's it that's what they're all are they all Quakers Mennonites I guess there's different wines yeah Mennonite is the one that I think use some electronic stuff I think that they're pretty serious about I don't think they use any anything electric so a Mennonite is just a fake Amish person they definitely drive I mean I know when you turn six yeah I think that there's like a little bit of it really like well well the Amish have the Rumspringa which yeah where when they turn I guess it's 16 I thought or something they're allowed to go experience the world for a while kingpin and decide but if they decide to stay in the world of the modern their entire family shuns them yeah they get condemned let go have fun out there yeah yeah I mean what are you gonna pick you're gonna pick your family are you gonna work yeah yeah the one with the iPhone is the world there should be a TLC show about that the Amish oh sorry it's a bursary bubble guys watch any shows on TLC once that I'm gonna bring up 66 hundred pound life honestly I'm I don't watch the show religiously but I see like if a clip pops up am I recommended you know as you know to go clips small bite that's my favorite my sister really likes that I even tried that one yeah god I hate all those [ __ ] people and I mean hate oh no no not your sister the people on the show and I'm is she a 90 day fiancé well she is so you're gonna judge already get out it's all just a goddamn excuse for green cards odd I'm trying to find this club to show you guys what about The Bachelor yeah okay a little I'm a little underwhelmed for now am Soule is the worst fact he's so boring yeah just kind of like I agree he's no Hannah I want them to have it and Hannah ruined the show I don't want to see her dumb [ __ ] face there was a lot of Hannah in the first like two episodes it was it was it was the Hannah show yeah but a Luke P show you don't watch that [ __ ] do ya ya ya [ __ ] is Anna yeah I guys say so just my one little admission of guilt here is um I never like before last year you never watch The Bachelor I was gonna say never watch this Bachelorette blissfully ignorant we're pretty down you know and I was like nah it's all trash level so Aaron goes to me and says I can we just watch this can you watch this with me like well I need like some often like it's something to talk about at the office I need the show we're watching it and can you just wash this with me well well if fun we'll drink wine and I'm like all right sure what the hell so we watched the Hannah season last year I could not stop [ __ ] laughing like the first episode I was in tears laughing because it's just such a shitty premise it's literally literally thirty dudes all lined up and they just they all fight for like time with Hannah and they're all throwing themselves over the stranger and they're all like I don't know I just feels really genuine I feel like we just click and it's like they've known her for five minutes yeah they yeah and then the best part the best part of the show is like one guy is seated with Hannah on a couch and he's explaining to her like how he and his girlfriend like lost their first kid together like he's doing the sobs meanwhile another guy butts in ham ABC always began yeah he comes in he's like oh can I look speak to her for a few minutes and like wow this guy is doing this [ __ ] stops it's the funniest [ __ ] I could not stay BC that was amazing I was Luke P and loopy it's just it's really it's it's trash it's good not defending it in that way but it's also the funniest [ __ ] you like don't watch it because you like it you understand that I feel like my time spent like no it's not blood it was better spent watching this never watch it alone but watching it with Aaron watching it with someone yes you are a body chard I'm like I'm so sensitive to cringe and like those shows me first that's great I don't watch it like this I've seen 90 day it's not like yeah and it's just like I'm like watching a horror movie I'm like close my [ __ ] eyes you watch it by yourself no no it's just on in the goddamn room when I walk in like what do you watch yeah what do you watch yeah Eric if your soap if you're better than us no have you guys seen my mirror it looks good everyone this Eric what's this you tell me you don't watch the show much I've seen exactly because it was trending I'm listening huh okay that's Casey 707 baby now we're talking and I still haven't watched this just dish so I do it except just clips look at this shot how cruel are they set that shot up calculated they're like alright let's get on the floor the tripod [ __ ] ball we only brought this little town he makes me cos I thought the woman was gonna get in there I was like oh man she's pretty bitten in this guy yeah you're gonna have to move around like almost like a pig in a way and wallow I watched one episode and I was riveted but it's so sad it's not like 90 day fiancé with a bunch of comedy of air watching yeah yeah talk about something give up with him he's over to a thing you'll see what it's all the dads too old to be like still raising his son right yeah that's a straight-up Arby's cup that he's bathing with listen to the sounds just just enjoy the sound okay it's really like yeah you know the sounds are incredible this I fall asleep to this I'm afraid to you back in there again right well I got this thing I can buy it gets oh sorry I gotta go back guys I miss the good sound it's just a super difficult process that's that there for like nine hours just couldn't give up in life tragic me up and we realize I was like that I just I'm afraid to you back in there games right I got this thing I can buy that wait what was that let me go back one more time shoulders that's what I use me too head shoulders is the same you stop using it you get a shitload of dance right I just used it because I like the smell that's the one time and then I'm so sorry to interrupt but this is the sound of like a bad way to be 13 million views why do you think that is do you think it's kind of like people are why zag I think I think they can't like they can't wait away I think they're like like this is like you don't see this every day I think it's the art of TLC they mastered YouTube recommended this was like on that to TLC they mastered like exactly what you shouldn't be watching but they know everyone's to know why way I feel like people I'm not like that and they all I think they I think people watch this to feel good about themselves I think it's just it's it's just it's a crap it's a credible look at this shot Jackie was telling me people you don't know why people are watching look at that put up my head yeah I mean like it shouldn't be his dad doing that I just feel really bad well yeah job like this is like it's taking care of his son that he shouldn't have to take care she'll see plan yeah is this I think like right that you don't know where that's at wait if without having frightening yeah some kind of trauma or mental disorder something yeah jack is this his [ __ ] head or is that fat that's fat Nathan so it's where's [ __ ] be like you a down leading the fifth way lower you gotta go to break be right here right in that boy we got okay we got to go to break well we'll pick this up when we get back right we'll pick up a right off where we came back we've got a live one yet are you guys enjoying this right Jack and are we doing work screw can you guys tell me how much is it oh I my okay I'm going to break gank go to break Lila if I could recommend one product to you to immediately make you and your home and your family safer what would be exactly you read my mind ring let me tell you about ring revolutionising the game forever they invented this beautiful little doorbell right oh so you got a doorbell you ring it Bing bong people know you're home wait let's make it better put a camera on it so when people ring you can open it on your phone and see who's there wait make it even better put a microphone on it so you could talk to them through your phone to the front door wait make it even better give it motion-activated sensors so that when people approach your door it automatically warns you in case somebody's creeping on your house or whatever they do and up there maybe it's just a critter that's interesting also and then make it even better beam it up to the cloud immediately so that if some slick what it was the robbers name in home alone the soggy bandits the weapons the Wet Bandits I like soggy better in case you've got some slick soggy bandits trying to cut your internet it's already on the cloud it's a beautiful product oh and make it even better make a floodlight those are already great and you've already got them around your house but now it has all the features of a ring except you've got an alarm you could talk to them you could call the police actually I don't think you can do that we could hit what's a little arm you don't need to do that the raiding floodlight is incredible every ring product is incredible you've got an HD video two-way audio features it's gonna make you feel a trillion times safer when you're out of the house you're gonna feel a trillion time saver because again it's a game changer what can I say it's ring as a listen you have a special offer on a ring starter kit available right now with a video doorbell and motion activated floodlight camp the starter kit has everything you need to build a ring of security around your home so go to ring.com slash ashley that's ringing comm /h through six percent of men lose their hair by age 35 that's tragic and it's avoidable like heart disease but still I'm gonna have a heart attack at this rate so sir some things you can't avoid is what I'm trying to say even if they are preventable what you notice thinning hair it could you know what I'm saying once you notice thinning hair it could be too late is that hairline slowly starting to move backwards any bald spots yet it's the best way to prevent more hair loss is to do something about it while you still have some it's time to grab that new year´s by the follicles baby hears through a year of personal growth hair growth that is why do you guys turn to weird solutions or new nothing when they can turn to medicine and science introducing for Hanscom a one-stop shop for hair loss skin care sexual wellness for men has time to write a new chapter one in which you have hair dang I like that chapter I read that chapter hymns is helping guys be the best version themselves with a licensed physician and fda-approved products to help treat hair loss there's a not snake oil or gas station counter supplements you goof this prescription solutions backed by science and was created by a guy who knows that some men's health conversations are either online in person we got no more awkward and personal doctor visits or for long Pharmacy lines for hims connects with real doctors online which could save you hours completely confidential indiscreet gonna answer a few quick questions the doctor will review and they were determined if it's right for you they can prescribe you the medicine to treat your hair loss that is shipped directly to your door so let's get that year started right with the beaut beautiful locks with hymns dive into 20/20 hair first ela right now my listeners can get started with the first month free go-to for hams calm slash h3 that's four hymns calm slash h3 prescription requires an online consultation with a physician who will determine if a prescription is appropriate offer about only a prescribed three but minimum subscription additional restrictions apply co-op several folding into the report safety for mission remember that's for hems calm saturated they actually made me read that a disclaimer so I try to do that on TV where they go but they do but I think you could read it you could hear it yeah I could yeah you could understand everything I said so that's it guys cool I'm close to being in a trough bro and heavy breathing ran from the bathroom what else I guess we're done right we did it were here we talked on are we in war you want to talk about that I was just asking questions oh yeah I don't think so more still hi actually you know I haven't met this dog before oh oh Fredo potato he's such a sweetheart Holy Smoke no sweet you are so cute how old is this dog I think he's just about a year a year although small forever huh oh yeah he's from yeah we got a puppy he's probably smells it on me oh she's cold her name is nur fee and it's like I have immediately become a complete softy I was a real hard-ass before I got this dog get this I'm like talking to it all day uh-huh work from home so I do is talk to this dog hey first dog I had a dog growing up but I had one too but no count because your parents walk it like now I gotta make sure this thing doesn't poop inside but the party train there still are yeah five months you said five months in five and a half she's the cutest thing when she's about I would say two is when they're fully marinated yeah but I love my dogs like old shredder shredder about just so he's over to know so that that seems to be like everybody gets another dog when how old was a clown like when you got Sunday she was I want to say three yeah there's like a that period is like the prom because we just like had no time to focus on shredder anymore mm-hmm spoiled and he was our only focus basically buddy and shredder the shredder like help so sure train like the other older dogs with obedience a little bit opposite really sunday was the Dom yeah really immunity just walked into the house ran the energy ran the [ __ ] show yeah so yeah I'm daddy now yeah yeah and it kind of sucks it takes you for walks pretty much now we were feel bad for shredder if he got Batum cooked yeah yeah yeah but he isn't he's alphas [ __ ] good good you know what shredders off let's talk about ear or less there's so much happened since we've been gone as anything less let's head them off anything fine reaching for died here go for it that happened in the last month no but yeah that happened oh my god oh my god damn sense of time is always well there's all kinds of now let's talk about Epstein there's been updating boy 60 minutes did a really interesting story on you guys think he did it no you think he did it [Laughter] I'm a critic of Michael Jackson I think he's a filthy pedo and I get a lot of [ __ ] when I say that Michael Jackson's a filthy a predatory pedophile or do you get [ __ ] like because people think he's Ennis and they've proven it no there's plenty of proof but what I will say about its kind of tough what I will say about Michael Jackson is that if he wasn't a famous pop star people like there's as much evidence against him as there is against Epstein and we're like oh heck I [ __ ] kids but Michael Jackson he gets that doubt cuz he wrote thriller even though thrill is just about telling everyone just for some reason now everyone's ready to like just write r.kelly do you think Michael Jackson would be in jail right now if he hadn't taken the the sleepy pills well I don't that's a fascinating question where would he be right because we're holding old [ __ ] up like he'd be in deep [ __ ] do you think he'd be on Twitter like no it's okay you could sleep in bed with boys how would he be yeah I don't think he'd be on Twitter but I don't think he'll be in jail no he does well he already went throughout him who's the first person to go throw that fit in court you know 9 2010 right right yeah no I remember you know I'm a Michael Jackson fan of his music sure not a man of his pedophilia obviously yeah but but what if that's what may be good it's quite possible what if it was fueled by like the innocence of children look at it in a new light I suppose like when you listen to leave me alone is it just did you guys watch the leaving Neverland documentary so we started it um and I think the Aaron was the one that kind of made us turn off she was like I already know how this goes I don't want to what so we never finished it yeah it's a pretty dark day you know I think I think that I love I loved it I could only stand listening to dudes talking about Michael Jackson staring at their boy bottles for like 30 seconds before I have to turn it off it's your max yeah I feel 30 good seconds good seconds and then it's off good good seconds and then it's back to TLC and then it's back different that dudes in trouble yeah no I do I thought it was very compelling I don't give another shot what were we talking about we're talking so Epstein so here I was watching on 60 minutes let me find my my notes here that I took on this topic have no names by the way never know oh I can give you a solid one wool I know I went straight can we show ya I'm sorry I'm like sneaking like you could show so sneaky Anna Ackroyd's crystal school vodka which honestly has the coolest case as you know as everyone in the world knows what is that one I thought it would be come on bought that for us crystal had Aurora Lucy and don't think it's it like reflects light Chisholm no I didn't know I did that some kind of rap on it do you anyone want to step of this now okay I can't do it I just want I just want to try I've never tried always been assassinated only 70 bucks I said sleary hey a chair is common etiquette big money Cheers you know I've heard there was a study recently that says all vodka regardless of grade and price is exactly the same I just agree this is really smooth and I've had not smooth vodka it's all identical you cannot have different grades of vodka by the very nature of the alcohol I think that's like you know go to the liquor store next time you buy a bottle of vodka that you like by the really shitty bankers Club just as long as they're the same scores okay now sponsor well Dan do we have do we have vodka here I'll do a taste test do we have some shitty vodka in the kitchen let me check some same temperature today I feel like temperature is the biggest fact oh yeah yeah an expectation yes I will say like stuff like Grey Goose and I don't know I know but like yeah Grey Goose tastes different tastes better like maybe maybe tasting they filter it Meyer I don't know that is good stuff well that one's for orange flavor yeah [ __ ] that's you think you better than you think you can tell the difference compare a bet that's better okay let's let if your little city dream uh holding any water there you go perfect good idea here out let me let me hook you up and by the way I did buy Jack a new corkscrew yes break he went on and are you buddy not cheap it was like you get to keep that one call it a cheap piece of [ __ ] you get to keep that one but it was like I think you should yeah you bought all yeah uber driver homes gonna love this oh what's going on there oh this looks [ __ ] cheap but that's definitely poor that out Burnett out into my see this is quite Drupal distilled so maybe it's good then I don't know I think that should zone Lee trip so can you take shitty vodka and just run it through a Brita Yetzirah close and you're Puff Daddy I always pour Lacroix in it anyway so anyway in sixty minutes they go through Epstein cell they charted out they talk about the schedule of the guards yeah and they talked to the Epstein's brother got an independent autopsy on his body now all all of the tapes are destroyed every stare was a tape of the hallway there was a tape of his cell that's they're all gone it's very suspect what the hell and then the other thing is that you actually show his cadaver and you can see when you go in his room there's a pile of sheets there was like so many doesn't it's so weird and the guy was on suicide watch he was removed from suicide already like soul like self-inflicted injuries he he tried to commit suicide and failed put him on suicide watch trying a week later some doc was like I he's fine and they knew them all and then when the the thing he apparently hung himself with was like a super thin cut of orange jumper and there was no blood or or anything on it but his neck was super like bruised like bloody so the the fibers are that strong in an orange jumpsuit or the prison does that really make sense because like when you see the bruise it looks like think that like a wire would do like this right that's what he said yeah and there is like blood and supposedly he just used like this piece of fabric and that doesn't really make any no detective and so he's a tall guy like six foot or more mm and he hung himself from like less than five feet up yeah so we had to like just willfully you know hang himself while he could stand it doesn't really sound austere II I have seen on Twitter do you guys follow John McAfee on Twitter by any chance I mean I'm aware interesting Twitter follow that dude is II's either out of his mind or he's on another plane of knowledge but he has some funny [ __ ] that he says but he was also like he's into this epstein thing he's like given his take on it and he's pointing out that like Epstein had this cellmate which by the way dan if you can find it they talk about that and stick his [ __ ] you talk about the cop yeah they talks to his jack yeah they talked about that in 69 looks like he could have strangled it with like a piece of floss it was this crazy cop who was like murdered yeah ordered people had nothing to lose and was his cellmate and they were thinking like well you know they let they got him out of the cell and then at some point that was just to make it look like Epstein was alone and at some point they let him back into so yeah they said he was apparently alone in a Cell when he died but all the security footage is disappeared not any event the crazy thing is that on the independent autopsy the guy who did it said so there's like three bones at your neck and all three of them were broken he says usually from hanging you'll see one it's normal to see one rarely to never all three that only happens he's seen in his experience from strangulation God show and let's be [ __ ] real that somebody murdered him yeah I mean like what are we even debating even 60 minutes was trying to just remain credible as possible but they're like this guy [ __ ] this guy yeah they keep like turning the camera come on Jim Halpert come on but actually the guards are being investigated by the FBI so the FBI's involved yeah it's the guards fault are we everybody ever gonna find out they falsified the records so there'll be the fall guys hey if you don't falsify these records we're gonna [ __ ] kill you in your entire family oh [ __ ] okay and then they're going okay I guess records yeah good Christian I mean they're you know prison guards who so who killed him I mean there are so many people that stood to benefit from him dying we all Prince Andrew yeah Prince Andrew that's yeah Andrew I mean he already got dragged pretty good though no no no what's it say yeah he did interviews or no maybe was an English press but I think um I don't know there could be so many so many people all rich yeah just a lot of men amusing on this plane Ricky Gervais said the best joke at the Golden Globes he go I thought you can see he killed him yeah Ricky's your face killed him with that joke he said what'd he say it was a joke II loved your friend of his but what was the leader yeah he was like something didn't hang itself or but didn't kill itself or something like that that's right yes yes everyone got it was like oh he's like no yeah I think he doesn't he doesn't kill himself at the end of the movie there's a movie about suicides like he doesn't kill himself in his movie you know what else didn't kill himself right that's right oh come on I know you're his friend that's true that was a sick how legendary was that whole opening that he ballsy so yeah Aaron has a theory that like he's just he's made Ricky's just made so much goddamn money that it's basically [ __ ] you money and he's like I'm gonna stop this is like the last time well I was I was a little joke last time but like when you've made it as far as he has he don't have to rely on Hollywood ever again I feel like that's kind of where he's at but it's pretty amazing the way he's doing it because he's still managing to actually do stuff like he's and he's got it shows and he's still yeah and the BBC - yeah he works for in England a lot so there's definitely something to it we're like a lot of people a lot of famous people or people who are public have to pander to people who are easily offended but if you've never even had them to begin with when they get offended you're like well I didn't I didn't lose you right you're just someone who's mad who doesn't like me already and then the people who still like him are like well yeah I know he's an [ __ ] but he's funny yeah and that's sort of like we're you that's the sweet spot when you can just be super offensive and you don't have to worry about anyone being like I thought you were different right never happens yeah that's I think he's trying to get fired and he's been trying to do that for five years it was first time I mean his fifth time yeah he can say no who's fantastic no but I he's enjoying it if you fall on Twitter he's like it's like he never had any of these people in his corner at all and it's just it's sort of like Dave Chapelle like he can say these really offensive things but he was never pretending that he was anything yeah you know pandering to the people who he's offended mmm they were gone always if they ever liked them it was like not because he wanted them to alright they joke about and like you see Tim Apple in the crowd the CEO of Apple because they made a streaming network on Apple sound like Trump so and I'm when I saw him I was like [ __ ] this Deeb like [ __ ] you trying to you he wants to have his kid he's like the cool guy and everyone's gotta suck his dick because he's got the streaming platform that everyone wants to be on like he's getting jet he's paying Jennifer Aniston like 2 million per episode to be in this stupid little [ __ ] drama and he's a an apple is [ __ ] evil [ __ ] company and he and I think he did a great thing and I think he made a great joke ELA when he says that if Isis made a streaming service you'd all be calling your agent would it was a great but have you so speaking of Apple TV Plus or whatever it is have you have you guys watched any of the shows on there because we did we actually finished the morning show though Jennifer Aniston I actually heard it's good actually good I gotta like it it's it's free and like yeah like I can see many episodes are there 8 to 10 that that hole 20 million yeah oh yeah she's not hurting and then servant is like the M night Shyamalan show yeah week that weren't that yeah we just came out last night said that's gotta suck right here's deal I don't want without any spoilers amazing premise I thought it was going to be a one season like self-contained story kind of ends on a bit of a cliffhanger and M night has come out and said yeah I wanna do six seasons of the show so I'm a little pissed I'm kind of like yeah [ __ ] that that's a lot of time to [ __ ] it up it's a lot yeah he'll find a way but it's like it would have been such a great self-contained one season horror yeah like like atmosphere sucks I have no faith left in that clown no he's good he's in the show like he directed one or two episodes of the show and it's good but I really hate the whole ending it on a cliffhanger when it could have been this whole it could've been one story a sham Lana hasn't been paid in a minute he's got he's been making a ton of ass flops hasn't he I'm trying to think what split was good that's it that's it split I like to split yes but it was his script of his land he wasn't he wrote that character into the original breakable unbreakable and then cut it out weight split oh like maybe he does still suck he's like using his old [ __ ] maybe he if he has more scripts in that desk he needs to pull them out maybe he's got a story now they were one of them's a good writer yeah and that one's died like 2008 yeah mandalorian amazing mm-hmm I don't like halfway through that show but I need I need to finish that guy enjoy it baby Yoda like that may be uh a genius what a genius move it really is like what it was a gamble to me so you know it's Bo des but like it well off in spades yeah there's like no person that could look at it and not love it yes no matter like gender age I love the way that everything about it yeah yeah there's a bill burr episode that I don't know if you guys have seen yet where he interacts with babe oh yes that was actually one of my favorite yeah yeah it's like it was a five or six I was not expecting much from Bill burr I have to say but you didn't really well he pops up in the craziest things yeah it was just like his IMDB the favorite episode he was in Britain yeah yeah he's great in that he wasn't he in I don't know I'm not gonna go too deep into his IMDB cuz I can't remember that [ __ ] but he's like he pops up in something you're like what right this guy's agent well they actually wanted him they just wrote to him Wow did he tell us that yeah I don't remember yeah he's not even like s hours you know fanatic and I knew it was funny for him he was talking about out like his character sang things that you only hear in the Star Wars universe I was like oh my god he was definitely given people [ __ ] yeah what the [ __ ] is that the only thing he knows is the Jar Jar reference I know that um Mandalorian is good Dracula on Netflix loved it oh I haven't yeah things about that so I'm a bit more hesitant I'm on the mixer you're on the mix I know you wanna I don't think it's stuck the landing but oh okay so there's Buster phobic for me just the first step like your babies like suck and displace an awful I say it's all bottle oh no um I will say about Dracula it's the same guys who made Sherlock would you like well my favorite shows what they notoriously [ __ ] up the ending of that to read this had the worst ending I mean the ending was so cool yeah yeah I was frozen I did what I was there for the ride but yeah when I got there it was closed yeah is this similar and Sherlock in that it's three okay and that's the time sink cuz the thing was like I was like 80% through episode three and I was like oh there has to be another yeah right I was like cool awesome then you remember it's the Sherlock guys and you're like nope they shot me I'm at three [ __ ] movies and then it's over and that's over for like four years but I'm Joyce arise fantastic though yeah the riot was a good ride but the ending just know that you're not gonna be happy with I don't know more than watch it and you were spooked it doesn't happen to me very frequently that I can't watch something you got spooked not just pool it was like annoying me I couldn't was the claustrophobia yeah okay yeah that's what it was I was claustrophobic was spooky tight spaces you're in the top and a castle oh speaking of shows that did the one and done watchman watch watch watch me I was watch manic I loved also and it's done it up and the ending was um was pretty good career how great yeah show itself was I love it when they do that when they're like nope that was it that all you get we are bringing it back I was reading about that the guy who made it they're like they wanted him for season two yeah and he's like I don't have a story to tell for season two so I'm not gonna do it I was like yeah yeah what a novel concept you may actually not understand it and so I stopped watching but I see how much everyone loved it that I kind of feel like I think you forced yourself for two or three apps then you'll get into it I will say like the best episodes are kind of like past the midway point that's when I gots like five six yeah ooh yes ooh that Lindelof guy does this thing where he spends so much time in the beginning it doesn't he did with lost yeah did it with the leftovers with a creator and he just like spends it's like when you're cooking and you got to chop all your vegetables your meson plas yeah you got to get everything on the cutting board and then you start cooking and you're throwing the onions in it boom here's a [ __ ] Carl everything's already chopped oh there we go bop bop and that's like the midway point of the season yes is when everything starts actually getting cooked everything else shopping and measuring things and so payout team edible and I will say I feel like I got a little bit more out of the show because I had read the the Watchmen graphic novel beforehand I don't know if I would have gotten as much I'll just give you some context that will help you kind of yeah and then there was a lot of big black [ __ ] in it too we had a lot of big black [ __ ] in a good man like that guy was standing around some I don't think it was quite as gratuity no there was like a full big black [ __ ] like several times well well yeah but that's like against the norm like we're so used to seeing full frontal on the female side like game with I actually have a problem with that like why hmm well you got a yearns for a tree a guy you only see but right well [ __ ] is what we veg on so here's the thing if I can play devil no you cannot on this because tits are not as vulgar as vagina says who will go and make it woman oh you think tits are vulgar as vagina it's not as vulgar but it's still and naked like well I'm just I'm explaining what not walking with my tits out on the street is I think the TV you know the producers or the whatever there is no explaining anything I'm telling you [ __ ] is more vulgar than tits and vaginas equally as vulgar as a [ __ ] you've just been programmed to feel that way yes I'm not saying it's right I'm just saying that's how they view it and the thing is like when you see a bush you just see a bunch of hair like if you saw a shaved bush on TV and you saw everything like the cut you see the [ __ ] and the balls and everything actually a lot of movies worse to wear a merkin now that's well over the act yeah you could see everything yeah there were a lot there was a lot of full frontal yeah nudity for women yeah and occasionally God but they had bush covering the details like if I had a giant Bush covering my [ __ ] you could show my bush you can see any dick did you see dick and Game of Thrones the little tiny oh there was there was there was dick EULA whose dick juicy I'm trying to remember too so I'm not just like but that was like the Theon on Theon stack yeah Wow yeah okay that's not the same wait why Oh cuz oh you're you're sick you're sick because it's like literally severed no but they no no I'm not only showed his car yeah they do a sex scene what's not the same you know because I thought isn't he that gets his dick yeah but they didn't I was like in that context no they each others severed penis he definitely showed [ __ ] but not as much as awesome and you were you gotta watch off that dude dick heaven my god we got Chris Meloni Pete I feel like everyone in jails [ __ ] guy who's doing everything hates him and he was in every HBO shows yeah JK Simmons dick right we got I feel like everybody in Oz has a huge [ __ ] yeah probably everyone in jail has a huge [ __ ] yeah they do that to you when you get in I feel like if you see dick in jail its fat yeah you got a pump you know you guys our with everybody else you'd only be the guy with the smallest dick in prison you just don't make it you don't match it up every time but I guess this is elope I feel like um you know mr. dr. Manhattan you got to see the deck so they did it justice cuz he's all he's this blue guys always naked and that's a big out clothing in the movie they famously put underwear on him we're in the comic book sacrilege I disagree infamously put underwear no in the movie they let it hang in the movie for a few shots I remember really arms yet the trailers they put underwear on him in the actual movie the actual people are upset about the [ __ ] they weren't there was a lot of outrage like no and it's like that's because we don't see a lot of [ __ ] in in film and television so obviously those shots stood out he's also got a big one I got yes he's dr. Manhattan himself together from Adams why would he give himself a baby dick I remember the outrage in 2009 people who like wool whose [ __ ] should look every shot and it's like yeah you're just like it was too sexy no some underwear on this ones I'm having oh [ __ ] please one out in the theater come on bring my kid to this movie could squeeze one out next to my kid man I saw a movie in the theaters in Prague because I was traveling abroad but my cell you were just seeing dick on the way to the theater absolutely yeah everybody's naked yeah free free country man yeah no it's not good you guys remember that scene in Washington where the FBI lady pulled out that huge blue dildo it's a great little touch because we like still remembers but it was her dealings with dr. Manhattan and I saw that dick was like multiple pieces one of those crazy we had to like connect the balls people watching at home were like I haven't seen it anyway what else we got um I had a viral moment during the break you had a viral moment yeah we say that why do we save our moment it's references like an epic a moment the politicians running for oh yeah they kept saying they needed a viral moment which like you know on the debates they're all trying to create a viral yeah yeah yeah yeah which is so sad they just catch the flu that's a viral mohel a viral I saw this yeah rice comes very scum you know every time I see rice go grow tweet something like somewhat clever he goes I hate when people say it's a quarter till 6:00 [ __ ] just say it's fine just I'm do guys yell stupid and so you copy it and you paste it and you see that it's been tweeted before almost identical and I found this tweet from November and you know he's such a [ __ ] [ __ ] he could have at least changed it a little bit but it kept the same like 575 just don't bleed anything if you don't have anything to say don't steal well you know all this all these tweets are stolen oh he did and y'all stupid yeah but ya know he put his own twist on it he said y'all and said a little stupid anyway I said here's the tweet he stole I actually done that a couple times before cuz I don't know yeah call him out and anyway he DM me and he goes yeah [ __ ] you and your [ __ ] like that's creepy dude but he made it that's [ __ ] creepy I gave you a little cute little didn't like any blocky blocked you [ __ ] [ __ ] that's great I was like what yeah epic gamer move dude a bit speaking of the flu has that guy cleared his sinuses out yet wait what do you mean dude sounds like he's always got [ __ ] cotton balls up his nose yeah president no thank you everybody for acknowledging my viral moment I wish you would does anyone have anything to say to celebrate my viral moment yeah you made it congratulations from eula Jack you made it you [ __ ] made it Eric do you have any comments uh yeah go ahead no is it just yeah yeah I do that's not a comment that's knowledge meant that you have a column here's a question I can't it be both why do people think they can get away with stealing tweets when there is when the Internet is written in ink and you can't dispute it you can't be like well no no I had the same joke it's like no it's verbatim look at how hey don't really doesn't care not affair Twitter is kind of a wasteland just doesn't care like if you think about like high school it's sort of the same thing that goes on there really is that Joker like the guy like whispers a joke to you and then you say it out loud and the class laughs yes it's like very much like that right where that's a beautiful analogy let me just [ __ ] copy and paste the Joker he stole had 65,000 lines oh well that's even I feel like he has a folder on his desktop called stolen tweets totally and he waits a month or two months in that case he just and then he blocked it out it's a whole [ __ ] that's all right how [ __ ] Sorry mate yeah oh yeah those guys goddamn worst actually got pretty good Wow they turn their [ __ ] private they got they got jack if the rebrand now they got [ __ ] by big blue [ __ ] it is nice to see that happen can I find that dildo well with race kind it doesn't matter cuz like appeal to a bunch of teenagers like hey yeah stop listening to this rapper he steals tweets like okay whatever boomer they're still going like crazy [ __ ] Terry wait wait they're still literally screenshotting other people's twisting out right there and there they got a huge promotion so their videos have a lot of you right right wait there only awesome that's really cool Wow you're right I think the thing is that Instagram being owned by Facebook is they literally only care about engagement they don't they have no Mark Zuckerberg is he's just like a evil dude or maybe he's just like super autistic I think he's just a robot I don't know he's had no wave no I think he's just he just goes where the money is and that becomes evil yeah because he has such influence like there's a reason he's like bigger than anything right I think he knows he [ __ ] up and he's like I'm out down baby like Homer Simpson I feel like an excuse in the beginning but once you have such influence but what if you have like mega autism I don't think he does I think he has mega I think he's smarter to know he's doing and yeah yeah mixed with mega autism he really wants to like make his mark on the world and it's good pun by the way it wants to make his [ __ ] in the word you must make his goal he once he wants to suck the souls out of everyone hmm but he I think he wants to like go down and he was the the history books to be kind to him when we think about him he doesn't wanna get murdered he's gonna get that runs you know the guy must Google his name or at least have people who google it for him and they go mark it's not looking good look everyone thinks you're a [ __ ] weirdo yeah or worse that that barbecuing video you did what the hell was that I mom mom meet Jeff cards I'm all like making fun of his haircut is like a mainstream joke now yeah whoa what is that a tude in general like people got so tired of making fun of the way that he is that they're like what about that haircut yeah porn into that yet you know hmm yeah this is getting very I'm just gonna let this get more awkward this as everyone waits for me to say something I forgot mmm it'll come to you the sock Oh can meets we weren't you gonna like oh yeah which one is better yeah yes I saw I poured you wanna do it blind yeah I do want to do a blind tell me which is which well you're doing well so yeah I'll taste I'll just take a taste okay so I'll tell you right now this is this is the crystal and this is the Burnett so that's the Burnett crystal do you do the shitty one first or the good one first wait is everyone needs to be blind and only you know so so Neela you need to somehow why are you dong kyun you come in come here and pour some blind shots yeah or not Ian Zak sorry if you close your eyes I will either switch them up or double switch them up so they're not stuff but you don't know what we should all do it at once because we can't milk it that long people are gonna wait for that thank you Dad just do three already know like so all you got to do is like literally hold them and then like maybe put them on you're like can you find out how much which one is which okay that is Burnett that's skull okay and what's the price point on Burnett can you look that up want to make sure it sort of shitty but Matt I mean well we want to all three at once go ahead take your time man vodka I mean I could just take a squid guy eat the Bob seven Wow seven bucks for that thing what is come from what Bugan brought this to the office no bro that's quadruple distilled that was that was definitely the the dentist sticker brought that here for you guys the finest that's the cheapest [ __ ] ever bro I think we purposely bought the cheapest vodka first yeah we bought that okay but we should do it with the we should do with Gregor let's do 3 3 3 go ahead Dan oh boy we're getting to the end of the show I'll get trashed I want to know check ok what else we got we got us ok so everyone knows Australia's on fire yeah but did you know that through Teddy fresh we raised fifty thousand seven hundred and three dollars hey congratulations you got yourself on the back let me show you we made I actually thought that we would promote day two on the show this shirts actually amazing I saw that shirt online I looked know our sky save the koalas half goes to the Koala hospital they're called the Koala hospital because there's no they're the only one have they been sending you like pictures of koalas and stuff like no I'm you could at least get some pictures and then the Rural Fire Service you know how it is so but that but that was amazing well done so that was Eli's design thank you everybody go ahead and page work you guys you guys have done more for the world in that moment than I think I've ever done in my entire life well I'll take that yeah I did save a koala but I was the one in danger so we'll do one at a time okay okay so the whole thing I mean everyone I will so wait Mel it does it smell different vodka okay okay alright that's the bad one hmm they're all the best okay okay I'm sorry it tastes pretty bad right I mean Oh here's the deal Oh God I can't believe you got it took the whole thing maybe she could trash after this oh I shouldn't get trashed not I was gonna invite you guys over all right you could come over to our house I'm not saying no to that oh but but you're doing a show you don't me scream the n-word well that's Jack's job right we all know that well we're on break Jack was like I was like I hold him back he was ready to fight Ian about it Ian was like hey and then you start saying things about kpop that I was like you can't take some things back the worst you were like I'm just kidding I would never he was always very much okay so all right so yeah keep that taste fresh in your mind okay cheers Cheers how do I smell it don't but the case in point it all smells the same this is I'm gonna rank this lower than the one we just did you know what the problem is is that you hate vodka the more you drink it to me it tastes the same not for you to drink that yeah really yeah I think it's a little lower because it's just like sharper okay and if you look good let me thank my notes cuz I don't have not gone in that one second one was lower yeah I think I think the first one was the skull yeah that one was the cheap [ __ ] and this next one is about to blow our [ __ ] that's my guess and I didn't even try wait what was your guess did you smell it school no just based on the reactions here oh so we're gonna be like but actually I wasn't I wasn't bringing up possibilities on fire to Pat myself on the back should I wanted to why did but um what I really wanted to say is that a lot of people have been donating a lot of money Metallica donated 750 dr. Chris 750 thousand obviously Metallica yeah the band the band Chris Hemsworth Thor donated a million DiCaprio donated three million Kylie Jenner DiCaprio the cop Leonardo nice Kylie Jenner 1 million yuan Elton John 1 million Ethan and Uwe Klein of Teddy fresh fifty thousand seven but then here's where my question comes in now I'm not usually someone money is money donation is a donation it's all good but what do you make of Jeff Bezos donating $690,000 a lot of people made the comparison of like that's literally equivalent of a middle-class person donating I don't know $69 I think no less less yeah I think it was like that was the argument I think it was you should have made that if he makes that in six minutes yeah yeah don't ya don't like that little he makes that in six minutes love it love it that's have lots of rocket ships I needed to shoot also it's a [ __ ] move when you're like oh I was wondering what's with the weird number so it's a million Australian dollars that's why it's weird that's why it's so like you're right he knows what a dollar if you saving himself money yeah Australian people buy from Amazon yeah cheers Cheers all right yes James my cheese I think I know it all tastes the same it really wasn't me wrong I'm gonna say one was the best and then maybe two was the worst and three was the middle be awesome if Dan if they were all the worst like one all right I'll put myself out in the locker okay once it's cool who is the Burnet and really improve your way that's what I feel like I've already proved my point yeah if these were all different vodkas the second one tasted worse okay but okay the third so my guess was the first one was the worst Burnet two was scull three was the nice [ __ ] Vegas I guess it was oh okay so go ahead damn what what was it yeah I'm like Jack got it right wait what was what was it what the same the the first one was the Cisco the second one was my cheap [ __ ] yeah and then the third one was the greatest Wow but that said we still did call it I feel like you got what they mean they don't taste the same they don't yeah oh yeah we got yes we were able to discern what was what I don't know therefore you guys got lucky you wrong very mad hos mad I mean I got I got the nice one right - but granted I mean they they both viscerally recoiled as soon as they tasted that Burnett it seemed it was pretty obvious I guess the lesson here the $7 vodka might taste like yes but like the I mean you get to the higher class vodkas right yeah I think there's a there's there's the crappy [ __ ] and then yeah $20 enough it's probably all the same what I love is the vodkas that like they don't know how to make themselves seem better so they put gluten-free on the label made of me I mean what's [ __ ] potato nah by the very nature of it well I mean not in the juice that you squeeze out of it I don't know how vodkas made they squeeze the juice out of datas yeah well they leave all the gluten behind this is a scumbag anyone want to add anything to that I do actually only because it's somewhat relevant so the reason I have this hideous goddamn creepy uncle pedo stache right now is because last week we did a little charity livestream on twitch for oh yeah Rob yeah raise money for meds we did just because we felt like we had to do something wrong you're saying cuz because we have viewers in Australia and we wanted to like you know for each other so this was one of the you know how when you do a donation oh yeah charity think you have like goals you know if you varies a hundred dollars will do this if you raise $5,000 will do that this was some one of those tears like I will shave my beard so how long you gotta keep it I think a month you raise quite a bit you raise 50,000 right we raised $50,000 a lien dollars which i think translates to like maybe 36 that's American like that saved a lot of koalas I hope so thank you thank you thank you thank you but I just want to say there's a reason this exists and it's not because I think it's a fashionable thing I didn't think now think it looks bad would never think that I do you clean it up a little well you got like whiskers going over your lip I would recommend it oh yeah this is rough yeah I got a guy yeah now just got a trimmer for Christmas Neela thanks my tip he doesn't want to yeah I know what are you just trying to make him feel bad well he's gotta wear it it's a charity I'm just being honest what okay what else do you want to say about it I think like a connection with creepy guys with mustache your connection or like in my head yeah yeah gotcha it translates a little bit creepy I had a mustache for a little bit yeah I mean mustaches are always creepy but do you make that you connection with my dad no it's not you dad cuz he is a mustache well dad's with mustache is not the only er I'm a dad with I can be down with mustache it should be a dad with a mustache I kind of want to be in the bus - bad dude if you don't do that I'm gonna take a koala out I'm flying down straight I'm taking a koala out you get a mustache those you know Arlo [ __ ] man they're so slow the fire just burned them alive kind of like sloths honestly they're so slow and cute and they're like oh we can't escape the fire so fast they're slow but they're like they're cute looking but they are kind of vicious they are open aware of them and like yeah that's what I learn I mean that's what I've been told like they're actually kind of like hostile and good cigarettes no walking I'm smoking Jules baby sorry no no no no let's talk Jules no koalas are they're dangerous they're cut from what I heard and Chris wrong in a crowd I'm sorry I don't mean to like speak out of turn but that's what I've heard there's like don't don't go up to a koala should I feel bad or no well that kind of makes sense if it's a wild koala and what else are you what other wild am looking at Farpoint you know it should that should they perish or should I feel bad enough left I'm saying like like they're they look cute but they're actually I if he looking hug Alfredo then then he's severe to all I think all such a sweetie pie how old is Alfredo he's like a year he's a little puppet you know puppetry you know okay so Australia is on fire koalas are dying Jeff Bezos is a douche the Prime Minister's a douche of Australia that guy's a real [ __ ] do she's like a climate change growing a [ __ ] tantrum because he had to come back from his Hawaii vacation yeah deal with his entire country being on fire I go I saw him doing it every he's like I made a promise to my son but sometimes you need to compromise and I realized Oh what is your oh yeah what I hear I was like wow everyone mean my entire country's on I'm giving him a pompous British accent because he doesn't deserve an Australian one and while that accents way are giving them Prince Andrew's accent there's been some great videos of like people trying to shake his hand actually here I have it here oh no you take their hand and they're like refuse they'll see shot oh thank you firefighters actually and they're like I don't want to say this is a clip from the brush fire showing you how fat this one shocked the hell out of me you know there's a strong gust of wind you can see how fast the fryer is capable of spreading here it seems like it's it's pretty far away at that point what well you look at the ground right oh he blames on the ground really turns around again it's like so hot at the [ __ ] floors on fire so that's what's going on in Australia and I've seen people try to defend the fires to saying like no this is natural this is what happens really oh because their climate change deniers um that might be part of it they always go to the most ridiculous like dude the earth in lengths they go it's like no no no this is all natural bro the earth froze over entirely for like a hundred thousand years it's all good the Prime Minister's a climate change denier university is yeah yeah yes it turns out that people just admit it just admit it yeah [ __ ] happening we have terabytes of scientific it's not a political thing it's [ __ ] Han right right why yes I don't understand why it's being politicized when it's like how like why are we arguing this is because oil but he's more often than not our that's conservative that's and they're like well we could we could do something about that I think they tap into this same lizard brain of the anti-vaccine and so distrustful of government that you can pretty much convince them of anything so you go oh well climate changes of Chinese hoaxes and Al Gore hoax to get you to the conspiracy theories aren't crazy like to get you to buy to spend money to on [ __ ] you know it's like what like that the argument doesn't hold water when you're like okay let's say climate change is fake and that you're just making the air cleaner that's not all that already is not a noble enough objective like what like what is the con what are the cons of that well it's like cigarette smokers who are like no I'm not gonna get lung cancer it's the same mentality it's like whatever you know the world's not gonna be fine the drinkers are fine I'm gonna get killed by a bus you know bus get hit me tomorrow yeah yeah this is just climate change in areas who are like they don't want to think about their kids are gonna be [ __ ] yeah the kids are [ __ ] yeah they're smoking while pregnant yeah right I'm gonna do whatever the kids not gonna come out with like anything wrong with actually there was people in his government there was people in his government those chilling prime minister who were warning him for years that there was this brush fire disaster brewing cuz huh everything was super dry and they knew there was this enormous fire threat and he wasn't acting to clear brush and prevent this Wow so he's been ignoring the issue for for Solars know how long has he been the the Prime Minister man yeah dan dan yeah yeah Dantonio you're not familiar with the Australian government well it says now the the amount of animals that diet is up to 800 million that's [ __ ] I heard a billion and the ones that did sir we're gonna face starvation so how many people are on the planet Billy zoomed office in August of 2018 you're not gonna do the math for us then dad a year for month I'll take it thanks Dan she was at least warned about these this upcoming disaster I saw that they're dropping carrots and [ __ ] from airplanes over the forest to feed these poor little critters there's like this footage of them just walking through the areas that were broke and there's just so many just dead animals I saw one where a koala came out all like no probably you the carrots thing is a little odd because it like I mean maybe it's just because my brain is a dark place but all I can think about is like carrots just [ __ ] free me but you might be on to something because they were pretty high up let me drop those carrots they didn't have little prepared parachutes anyway seems a little counter that's the next Pixar movie you want you guys want to see funny little clip always when my son was teething he used to like to take the big fat rubber end of my vibrating tooth brush and put it in his mouth how are you not seeing this laughter like you're not even aware of what you're doing man that's grand I that I think it speaks to her innocence more than anything else oh she has no idea what the hell that is that's wonderful you know burger awaits you in paradise remember that video we erased here it is this showed up on the Internet recently oh really apparently in Eastern Europe they're giving away free hamburgers in this mall to celebrate the opening of a hamburger restaurant and they made these two old [ __ ] race each other on an escalator I can do that these old [ __ ] are gonna tumble to their death for a free burger they made them do this like yeah I think it's part of the competition so you may never recover from this I'll tell you his knees are shot this guy's like see a [ __ ] right right there man this is like this is like circus level entertainment this is literally like Oh lowest common denominator will show every burger by hey free burgers out right guys don't have an income anymore where was this again you know like they speak Russian Hoover over there some former Russian a free burger yeah so an and we made a reaction video that had the whole thing like the more you think about it the satiric yeah it's like oh oh girl beef and a bun like there's it's like that Sun right at like boring dystopia or something right like that's that's the perfect example so we called it a burger away to impair dice and we erased it because it wasn't a good video well video on it but I just wasn't people did not receive it well I can pull it up no one cares I have dreams of making a really bad you got to take this video down yeah this podcast is gonna be removed it was great till the burger just lost me oh I can't play the music but it's playing this song oh yeah go ahead and sing it in you know the song hit or miss hit or miss I bet you never met so this is the new Arby's ads thoughts is that's an ad yeah Arby's this is in collaboration with Arby's my dudes why wouldn't they hire the original girl who did it I guess you never miss I guess invent so they're about a year later I guess yes girl did the original one watches this is a totally I'm right here yeah yeah I think she's probably pissed and no no hate so those people in it it's just kind of like no I do you think that there's gonna help sell roast beef sandwiches from Arby's with 40 sauce I think as long as you got your name in someone's mouth you're probably doing your job as an advertiser they have the meats I mean you could do worse nothing more romantic than a date at Arby's I don't even know where an Arby's is where we live Arby's has to try pretty hard because I create Rochas that's what I keep hearing right oh my god never have I ever had RV's Arby's can't sell you on like the quality of their food they have to sell you on like their ability to mean which is already atrocious because this is an old [ __ ] meat their meat yeah yeah we get all of our meat for like why is there meat glossy like in their muesli where's that skull that skull had like a like a sort of a chromatic light looks like an oil spill yeah yeah I've noticed that roast beef roast beef is has a slick what is that I don't like that I don't you know me for the light either no not at all yeah it's like our bees should advertise based on the slick enos of their make lip this conversation where this one I had a crazy gender-reveal party this is great oh [ __ ] yeah this is my King already hating this kids already hating uh yeah your sibling okay good long murderous oh no daughters made enjoying that can you take the dogs out that powders not men speak just about kids not gonna make it to the baby brother alright now we've talked a lot about mobility people being a danger to society and none is better showcase our would than this one here he's not down and he is going to murder this big he's fine don't worry what's he yelling probably just to the walk-in litter nation probably John yang gang you like that yeah this is scooter [ __ ] do not walk a mobility scooter guy I'm just fascinated by the let's go that guy's got a lot of energy for someone on a scooter [Music] [Laughter] when you're that high up on a ladder your homie should have your back those guys those left them out yeah at that level I mean who would have thought this would happen - hey can you cover my ladder in case a violent sky leg trust go to the book I'm surprised that the ladder guy didn't come over and like just like kick the [ __ ] he's dead yeah I didn't I said he was fine but I'm kidding he died of his injuries I hate no kidding he did he find his shoes didn't come on yeah exactly that's that's real lively Craig you skipped over the Kevin Spacey videos we haven't Spacey it's oh oh Kevin Spacey yeah of course he had another holiday holiday surprise I it was one of those things I couldn't finish because of the cringe well PLC who's bad insane Kevin Kevin Spacey man this guy's basically just being like yes I am a sex criminal and I'm gonna own it and I may or may not have killed you know those bitter like have killed those people besides all this committers are just users really but one of them was cancer which government can give you with satellites yeah as we've proven and I think the one of them got killed by got hit by a car really and one of them committed suicide what the hell but I think I'm safe to eat that birds are supposed to represent I think like somewhere not say to be a victim no not if Kevin Spacey there's really you don't really think I was gonna miss the opportunity to wish you a Merry Christmas did you and I'm grateful to have my health back this two days before sorry Knight alive and I'd like to invite you to join me as we walk into 2020 I want to cast my vote for more good in this world oh yes I know what you're thinking then he be serious if I stuck a fire I'm dead serious and it's not that hard trust me the next time someone does something you don't like you can go on the attack but you can also hold your fire and do the unexpected you can kill them with kindness by the way that dramatic world ending my own did the [ __ ] iMovie sound clip is really really cheesy what were they thinking with that sound clip I don't know okay it's going over his house on the holidays and talking his drunk ass into doing these [ __ ] videos oh no camera guy hostage movie I like it's a well shot though so somebody is I wonder who I'm a mechanic criminais ting video I'd like to think he uses the accent like even when they don't record he's still in his house of cards mode in order to coffee he's like I'll have a large potato would be a shame if that coffee didn't come out right if you forgot the whipped cream well I can't be held responsible for my actions I'd like to see you on a boat accused of just groping young man it was accused of like it was crazy not awesome how like he's like oh I'm not even gay and then it's like yeah i'ma les dudes he's like gay to get out of it well right well yeah he came out as like a tactic almost to let distract people from the accusations I feel like we're all gonna get Epstein just by talking about it now you think we can abstain this [ __ ] he did was so brazen like okay so Jake erupts so Ethan you're Jack's kid I am and in this scenario and I'm spaghetti yeah all right so we're talking at dinner and you got your kid here yeah I'm just like that's what he did yeah in front of the parents no the parent didn't see cuz the kid was sitting right there the kid was like how old is the kid it was exciting newscasters kid or wasn't age ish maybe maybe not like that's how you do movie sets he's just like such a bitter all [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] really started here like the worst part about it he's a damn good actor I [ __ ] like I like yeah movies he's in are still really good it just sucks that he's also he probably would have been a real shitty actor via those things like he was like oh man I've really raped a lot of people I gotta be good at what I do is if I [ __ ] nail Glengarry Glen Ross well yeah I mean he did it it's funny that all this guilty guys think they have the great idea to do like he's him with this videos and r.kelly with that interview with yeah Chandru written and you yeah I don't sweat I haven't sweat since 1982 it's pretty crazy to think that it was all good for these guys to just rape people for so long I mean that's pretty that's pretty wild the thing that they were like you have so much to lose and you're still raping and you're like they just they keep trying and they get away with it so and that so many people turned a blind eye to it yeah Cosby one rape in his whole life like I raped like 53 women that's it over deck I mean that that's a real [ __ ] insane that's a career yeah that's he like at a certain point he was like well he's in the hall he's in the he was in the hall rape Hall of Fame matter that's a terrible Cosby impression I thought he might be one of the top five rappers of all time he's got to be in the Hall of Fame yeah at least he may be the greatest of all there's like Roman ghosts looking down like whoa yeah yeah Jesus Christ this guy this guy's [ __ ] up holy [ __ ] we would start having like a allegation I am to be there you go so I could just find a list you'll have people get on that pattern that right well I'll see you and patent that too bad for me I mean I shouldn't be there since the land against you what you i mean sexual yeah yeah when for example when you try to have sex with me in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping what the [ __ ] that's messed up thank you that but in my sleep it's weird I have this weird thing where I like sleepwalk but actually like it's you explain it because you're the one who experiences it not me he just well all of a sudden seem like he's awake and he's trying to have sex with me I'm not like a rapey way but Betty's just wanna make that no no I just I just you know try to get it on but I don't remember it is it like must actually I haven't done in a while no it's like sleepwalking sleep okay you did recently what yeah cuz I thought I hadn't done in a long do you have to mention because I used to have sleep paralysis all the time I wonder if this is like replaced it mm-hm guys what's sex like sex it's a it's pretty dumb yes should I buy some what we're like Barbies they have the meats you could probably stick your dick in a meat Mountain sandwich and roast beef has a striking resemblance to some vaginas is so cute oh my dog a thing I go my own dog a thing so Kevin Spacey is a creepy raper Duke may be murderer me which certainly teases that really bright cherry on top I love how two days before one of his accusers died of suicide he's like I might murder this person kill him with but also Ethan you cannot eat on the show look at the flipside of what that would be like let's say he didn't kill anyone I I had like need to keep dying like I look like a [ __ ] killer nothing apparently he's gonna keep making these videos like there's like well 10 more people delegate I like to think of him like opening the newspaper and he sees another accuser died he's like God I'm not doing this I think [ __ ] dying better own up to he's got like four more accusers who are talking to each others like yo we could make the mine as well [ __ ] off ourselves so I had like one shot and I'm feeling pretty good yeah let's go alright let's go we're in a rap that's what you're saying nothing matters how long has it been dan how are 50 Oh time to play sport night tell me when I can eat and work then what's going to say that way yeah leave that up to Dan we cannot eat on the show I feel bad doing that because I eat the chips all the time I'm trying to blast through these topics impose when it's part row yeah it was talking miss name ever you know the story behind its solely its her initials and she says also chuckles companies have owes and them right face boot right cue cool so I'm gonna make coop and I'm gonna like they say that all successful companies haven't yet have to over I it was in Howard Stern interview so she said Gwyneth Paltrow with ok but goop sounds like it's not a good sound but goop is successful right Barry yeah yeah I guess she wasn't wrong at that number again she wasn't wrong well you know when you're when you're selling it to crazy people it's very mom's yeah crazy mom it's a lot of well it's the same it's the same I catch a good market do you I think it like anti-vaxxers a stretch but it's people who like like live and breathe Herbal Essence [ __ ] it can't just be crazy like there's got to be some actual wives mom well a lot of people just admire her probably from her movies oh that's yeah she has market she sounds like brushes and stuff to which I mean like if it's she's like well made and it's not like a vagina yeah yeah sure no here's my conspiracy theory I think that she does these marketing ploys they get publicity the vagina egg was one that we all talked about right now this one she made a camel called smells like my vagina $75 candle smells like a vagina you I didn't even say my theory oh well you said that it's a marketing okay well then you don't get up game breaks and you're gonna wait for me to eat it is there like an opinion about this you should not eat during the show course I shouldn't right now I'm not gonna tell not eat during the show you kidding me my take is that it's $75 it's sold out immediately right we tried to find one on eBay after sell markets I would have spent $300 on this vision I'll buy bloggers who code talk about why it smells weird vagina at all I tried to buy one I couldn't find anywhere I concluded that they never actually sold this candle mmm they never even made it okay go ahead you look I disagree with you because it's not such a hot product like that it would be on eBay now you know what I mean I think it's just a gag product and I could see people buying it because it's like kind of funny it's brazen I mean how many could they have possibly made the woman has one vagina how much smoking you get out of my job back I actually thought she squirted in the wax recipe no but you run you got to drink a lot of water I mean she's a busy woman he went for a run then she was like I got real stinky then she squirted the whole Paltrow on wax like an old vagina egg comes out so do you think people would buy handle that I just in yeah smells like dry cement people would buy that or what's what's the man equipment smells like baba ghanoush smells like mine baba ghanoush oh yeah Meg mother you go yeah you're not circumcised are you guys circumcised yes you are these there no you're not no do you get you magma no that is such a goddamn mirror that's such a mere Meg tell me because I've heard guys say they have dick cheese yeah those guys don't wash their dicks so you have to peel the skin back and wash you peel this but it's not that big a video it's like that's like fingernails getting [ __ ] under them that's like clean you know you clean them but I'd rather not you know you take toenail clippers you clip your foreskin back and it grows back I learned that analogy makes me feel like it's gross because I have a hard time cleaning under my nails really and under the nails is pretty gross I just like Brody you know yeah I mean it's supposed to your penis supposed to be black right if you're black [ __ ] I'm not black that's gangrene or dirt whatever it is have you found keeping things you I do regret not being circumcised not at all no I mean I it's it's so weird that it's even a conversation because it's not your choice like my parents chose it I wouldn't be right you guys parents chose that you would be like as a non circumcised person you watch porn every penis morning sir that's American thing and you're like that's not what it looks like when I do it it's like hey there's a bit of a disconnect that keeps me and relate oh you know it just keeps a few pulled in do you look for uncircumcised forever no not really do you when you find a man porn star who has an uncircumcised penis do you feel good actually couldn't tell you a single mil porn stars named part couldn't tell you a single stars name that hasn't been in like a movie like Sasha Grey I know that one she had like a whole TV show didn't she well she was on away she was in that Steven Soderbergh movie what's that got to do with uncircumcised penis well just I don't know anyone's don't keep your house I go to I go to uh but yeah that guy calm and I'm like all right what's hot why are they all steps is lazy it's a big damn it alright I'm gonna pretend this isn't a step-sister yeah - use your imagination while watching and alright I like this I would lose the stepsister angle see I go step further I pretend she is I make my own damnit commit I don't like the idea of any divorce going up this mystery person who was circumsized and as an adult says that their sensation their gratification from sex is not diminished no I'm just saying because people that's what people say and I'm happy to report that we still got it I think like you're trying to talk Eric into it well I I would have I know a good guy begin with like I can't say to anyone who's circumcised that my sex is more pleasurable than theirs because how could you I don't have the lies before an affray no and he reported back that's like someone who died and then reported back from Africa right and it's incredible you don't get that that's a TLC show dude like after a cut that's a good show my in high school this is how many people are just circumcised Dan like to say that your uncircumcised is like what a fart in high school it just casually came up and everybody just started calling me a coffee uncut what Wow people give you uncut I got uncut put in my nickname my nickname was javi and my important work one of the classes I had was the school newspaper and my column was Hoffy uncut I got away with being like well no it's because I'm an unfiltered you know I'm like a real genius and everybody when they got the first one was like what the [ __ ] that's awesome yeah you embrace that's about my penis you embrace the nickname oh yeah cuz it's funny penises are funny anything about penises butts it's like that Rick and Morty quote like it's funny when they're big it's funny when they are small yeah like yeah any kind of penis there's just the shadow of a penis that's funny Oh funny funny funny yeah you ever seen with somebody sitting there and you just have a shadow of a penis behind them it makes no sense it's super fun but I'm gonna laugh every time yeah glory holes just seeing a Gloria there's no penis at all comedy the whole herd about then he apologize efforts of God he made an apology I don't think anyone yeah by the way the security dropped the ball there they should have rope punched her and to say that he slapped her yeah an exaggeration he did if he slapped the one down can you imagine actually having a whole segment look at this creep who's gonna about to explain what let's see what this guy breaks down the folks I've never anyway seen him lose its temper in any in any way I love that Tim sex tonight entirely unprecedented we've seen the Pope react in uncomfortable situations this way before we don't know how to [ __ ] analysis-- is in something now and I loved it boring dystopia 101 we got like a flapper CNN cNN has not had a hot year well you can tell that let's watch that Bernie of the warran moment from the debate because it was iconic where they go they go Bernie did you say that a woman can't be President he said no I didn't say that and then they go to Warren and says Warren Warren what did you think when Bernie said to you that women can't be President yeah that was bizarre that's doing him dirty a little what does this have to do with you the question a story yeah so it's their story and they brought it's like with this whole viral moment yes the very moment they created got themselves there you see this - this is great Tom I thought were here where they still miked on this yes I'll play you what they said and Tom saw what the [ __ ] and they just find what I want to watch yeah I find the clip of them off the mic and find the clip of that exchange I have mentioned before does that make sense what I've just said yes oh my god wouldn't you think is that bathwater spit spit I want a gag smell I wouldn't open that now but yes we're owner gag that triggered me [ __ ] how much was that's the price you sent it for free yeah that was lucky we're the only Wow god damn so jealous please don't do 23 me or anything like that the car would tell you that when she's selling it that every dollar she that's a one-of-a-kind and then we got this as an exclusive we should do is you should spit in it and do 23andme oh should I spit and Center my spit I didn't think that you should collections rule for like an inert leader Dan did you copy my request can you find the clip of the Pope no see we're past the pulp can you find a clip in the debate when they said Bernie they get some footage from the debate they take it down what sock puppets it's fine all right what a bunch of consoles oh yeah do you know what they said she said she said I believe you just cook there's me being a liar now watch TV and he said let's talk about this later Yeah right and then story was like hi Bernie I just want to say how you like yeah yeah yeah yeah okay good you Mike you better get away from me no you're doing [ __ ] a warrior yeah everyone's trying to come at Bernie yeah he's gonna I had a dream that he went all day do your dreams come true often like you're literal literal dreams um I don't usually have prophetic dreams okay mmm so maybe this could be my first prophetic dream that would be a good one so I actually became I've been a staunch yang supporter mm-hmm you know first of all I'm yanking ride-or-die for life but if that does pan out and he wasn't in the last debate so I was thinking Bernie Sanders I woke up and I was like Bernie [ __ ] Sanders for president you gonna become president well those are my two favorite options for sure yank him here right yeah twice twice baby you're sitting in [ __ ] [ __ ] no I do feel ya tingle there's a yang Farley or do you not like to talk about what do you guys like I feel like I am a politically are you educating the Trump supporter it's so much obviously I'm big no I'm just be like I'm not um I'm more left-leaning I'm more left-leaning but I I don't feel like I'm educated enough to really have an opinion on you know are you gonna vote no trimer I'll probably vote yeah I will I will vote okay I get it you don't talk about it Eric I'm vote for Warren no you're not no you're not really [ __ ] nut or Bernie I don't know yeah you're gonna vote for Warren I like Warren there's nothing wrong with liking someone others planning but she played it so dirty Bernie so dirty I know that was pretty dirty the difference is like I don't hate I can't heal okay it's whatever I liked Warren I like I like I like was kind of [ __ ] I like Warren a couple years ago but the thing that I don't like about Warren is that I just feel like she's not very likable and so I feel like she will definitely lose yeah maybe no no but Bernie he's got that vote in California so it doesn't fight if you got to choose between Warren and Bernie you're choosing Warren if I choose well you know I got time to make up my mind Brian yeah it was there it was a lot more I was a lot more certain about that before she did that thing where she said Bernie told her woman could never win what just outrageous wait did say that well I think if I had know what was the context like it's a very strange thing I think we all know that Bernie stands for good modern like yeah Society no why would he say something about what was the contact what hate is how like such a location so quiet we're like if you and a lot of its Twitter where they make up this never Warren yeah never warm it's like well maybe Warren yeah sometimes Warren I don't think she I don't think she has a chance and I know that like me just saying that I like Warren is gonna be like Oh for Carrick like there's some people they're gonna feel that way and it's a yeah why do you care so much about something that I truly don't care that much about it's like I made up my mind a while ago that's just how I feel politics are not everything and people make it to my dad so people really put a lot of their emotional stake into politics which should be like one of the most boring facets federalized it was so much nicer when it was born yeah it was so nice I will agree with you now we wake up and we check the news no this guy said this and all where's this going on it's not elite anywhere oh this is exciting it's like you know there's more there's more going on we're boring again my [ __ ] mod and on it I just I pick who I like and I continue to like them until they do something stupid enough that I don't like them anymore em hmm and then a lot of my friends have that same mentality like you know I go see Marvel movies and theaters I yeah I [ __ ] play shitty first-person shooter video games not everything's gotta be are you Joe I'm a regular guy I don't get it I thought you were like so complicated no you're right you're making too much sense so I'm gonna have to cut you off I'm have to edit that out but I mean I might you know if so you're not gonna tell us now that I confessed I want to say he's got a family-friendly channel he won't even say he thinks kpop definitely one for Trump ready Trump into the Democratic primary I'm trying man someone's gotta get him in there is they do you know do you think that the band [Music] hooray I might forget that maybe it's better I forgot the name okay forget about her Justin Bieber has been her gagging his fans yeah that is song yummy which by the way is so awful I somehow still have not yet I know it worked on it I had to go see you last night I had to go see it went to the theater yummy $8.00 watch yummy sorry what are you talking about music videos yeah what did you watch porn yeah it's awful and it's not gone number one and so he's upset that the song hasn't gone number one so he's been begging his fans he's posted like a thousand times on Instagram but this was the best one on Spotify he says create a playlist with yummy on repeat and stream it don't mute it play it at low volume let it play while you sleep if you are not from the US you can download a VPN into US and then create a spot so he's gaming the system so new imagine Bieber posting that official introduces official Instagram and he I think it's try to beat its tried to have been justified that it was a fan account that made this post and he just like retweeted or reposted it but doesn't matter well exactly so youtuber Danny Gonzalez made a wonderful video either yesterday or the day before detailing this entire thing so it's not just these cringy ass like gaming the system post that Justin's doing also on his youtube channel on Justin's YouTube channel for real he's uploaded no fewer than like 10 versions of the song they'd like to get more views to get more views there's so there's the official yeah yeah there's the official music video there's the lyric music video though everywhere so there's the food fight music video then there's the reaction video then there's a Lele pons oh yeah he's been colliding yes I didn't see my Bieber video there there's an Eric Hofstede Bieber video yummy-yummy well yeah you ate it [ __ ] oh I did yeah I believe YouTube's allowed that I know you really break the rules when you're famous that says Kevin Spacey Kevin Spacey probably wanted to collab with so there's like it's like little nas X but like wait worse so wait an animated cannot hold three further record this song and music video suck I still haven't watched it I wish I could play back I haven't have even heard can I dance players or them and then just yeah that's so boy the lyrics are literally she got that yummy yummy yeah yummy yum yum yum and the music video is him eating desserts while they're rotating people had a table that he's on like people rotate out but I guess it's about eating vagina yeah I get out I mean what else but what doesn't like dessert these may be eatin boobies no it's about [ __ ] that's the best way to describe eating ass you know you got that yummy yummy yum yum I guess well he just got married so girly that girl's got a [ __ ] I keep forgetting he's married probably cuz he's writing [ __ ] like yummy that's the song you pick I would think that after marriage and three years of going off the grid he would come back with a little refinement and maturity maybe it's the flavor styles of brothers how they kind of like grew up with their night right no yummy yummy I'm begging everybody to stream it I was like damn I expected an evolution Michael Douglas should set this kid down and be like now listen oh you do that too much good job Michael Douglas blamed his his throat cancer yeah oh yeah eating house yeah he was like yeah get HPV in your throat he that's that's pretty much what he said but then everybody was like now that's kind of crazy man you can't blame your ex-wife's vagina well he was probably eating strange vagina if he got yeah that's true I guess people made the made that leap and turns out he was really just running around town like eating just mouth open yeah so you doing dental dams man gotta look into those so that's that what are those look i-i've actually no I heard of those since I'm [ __ ] health class and yes exactly exactly I feel like they're in theory they exist but no one actually uses them actually do I think it's like saran wrap I mean I mean look like high-tech swine flu hung it's too whole event well we just put a condom on your tongues not good enough I don't think that I don't think that's good enough now do you trust me don't do that oh my god look at this photo what that can't be real that's what it is I literally have never seen that what's going on I'm not putting my dick in that that's that's for eatin yeah that is a nightmare fuel goddamn bro this is the best click on that woman's face with the [ __ ] face thing oh my god it looks like a little trampoline that's what you see when you die do love me Charles yeah you know what he's doing usually back this with my Dennis doesn't let me find it like this how long are we going then we're at Dan I can give you for chrissake we're at 212 Mike so Jules at the same time oh it's like smoking a cigar thank you so okay what's your what's your dueling experience like like is it favorable to you just nicotine replacement it works yeah do you feel like woozy or lightheaded ever when you do it or no not really I mean it I was smoking cigarettes for like better part of a decade so it's basically just replacing the how long you been off I can't remember my last cigarette that's really it's pretty good yeah it is very nice I wish that was probably awesome let's see Khalid crowd surfing we can end it really is there anything else guys of course you know what else go ahead Jeff no I'm just I'm in clean clothes in Star Wars yeah I did not I [ __ ] hate that series man they [ __ ] that up huh I was already really dumb they made a dumber what's so bad and then just sea bass my favorite one people say that about the finale really my favorite even over the original and I'm like yeah can't really you should be castrated I haven't seen it but I just because the reviews have been so underwhelming now we're a responses you get spoilers it's like oh I already know it happens I know who lives and dies and whatever but like I I don't really have an interest in seeing it what if what a [ __ ] that's a shame right had Star Wars here's a novel concept when you plan a trilogy maybe know what the story for the trilogy is gonna be cuz they like that's sorry that they didn't know after I walked out his second one you wanted well no like what he said oh yeah I was like god dammit I [ __ ] this off aren't they but the force awakens I was like well this is quaint alright let's write we're wrapping it up yeah okay the second one I was like oh they don't know this is like we're having conversations are you all right dude I don't know why I just started sweating leave some water here you want a jewel jewel help of my lung whole class ela say goodbye welcome back well you guys got planned for 2023 this episodes good luck this is how we starting the year well it wasn't really that bad no it's great we have the fantastic Jack and Eric what do you guys want to do for 2020 like what are your goal bomb the White House why did I say that you have that on lock Wow I'm not gonna let me add it this a follow up yeah you know Secret Service goals are to grind work raise a baby breathe maybe you're taking day Renee I'm just taking a day by day it's not a bill Burke oh that's a good approach oh yeah what are yours what's your goal 2020 I want to get weird and like diversify a bit more uh like oh yeah maybe a little less of the YouTube game a little more of like other other fields so that's what what do you got you got some rough yeah it can be it can be taxing on the brain and the soul oh yeah you know I mean although by the way I want to give it up to you for that incredible Twitter song you made what the [ __ ] how did you make that was that your intention from the beginning um from the first two months it was not the first to mow I literally who was just going to be Twitter for Android forever for the rest of the year so because I wanted to see what the end game would look like my number but I realized at the midpoint in February that it just kept looking the same as the night right the maximum trip eNOS so like I can't be doing this for 10 more months so that's when in mid-february I decided well I'll change it up and make a song out of it so I had a like plan was so good rest of the song you know and it looked amazing the editing was so good man how long not long at all it's actually quite simple editing yeah like the hardest part was just the most tedious part was arranging 365 slide that an aura yeah but making him I'll dance and rotate and you doesn't mean it's out it's not hard that's not too bad because you just make little see how long it take you to place a trillion tweets oh that that was ok so it would take me about a minute each day to like tweet it out because I don't have to remember like okay what I do yesterday because this I have to use this word or this phrase 8 times I know it was like for musical structure you do 8 8 8 something alright this is day 5 of 8 you keep in check you have to keep track that's tucked that wasn't fun and I would never do this again because the the worst part was this little project Twitter for Android made my year zoom by made my 20 nitrous thing really fast and I didn't like that feeling it uh like I want to like enjoy and take my time and I like running so I'll never do it again I'm glad I did it once it was cool ever do that is a great project that's a chance to take on like doing something people are like you know I watched a movie every day this year but like yeah that probably made their year seem like yeah you can't just have a day anytime you have stat level of structure I think it makes the time go by really yeah yeah from experience it really [ __ ] did so it's a cool it was cool gimmick I'm glad I did it but I would not recommend anyone ever do anything like that again I don't know the history and so what and so what are we diversifying until a couple of things I want to I want to try one try podcast with Oh excellent wife Erin whoa what are you gonna do have a name for it yeah I mean I something along the lines of the Erin show with Jack because it's really just the whole thing you know her she is quite the personality she's got charisma and and character out the wazoo so he can so highly of your wife or nah man it's true right so we're gonna work on that and then I'm a couple a couple of other things like I'm trying to make a little weird game engine thing on Twitch gonna hopefully work on it app gonna oh do him no active [ __ ] no tube sounds like good yeah I got a tour the spring oh there's so what you guys have to see Jack show music what is it no music it's cool so that's a it's not a typical like youtuber show where it's like jacksFilms fans come one and all and I'll do inside jokes for 90 minutes I didn't want to do that so this is more of like an interact in tarako live game show so if you come on if you have a smartphone you can play this little game so it's kind of like jack box on steroids so it's like your name's Jack and so it's a match up in a didn't happen so people are gonna be like yeah it's like jacket there yeah yeah you don't know jack I'm gonna say so it's basically like I'm on stage on the host there's a question behind me like very exploitable question like describe your ex turn forwards or whatever and so you whip out your phone and everyone in the audience in the theater like submits their answers then we have people backstage going through all the hundreds of answers and they pick out like they're the best for I project the best for behind me and then it's like all right guys out of these four what's the best one vote now what about your phone again you vote whoever wins we pull up on stage we pull up like five people on stage total and then we go head to head and around called are you funnier than a youtuber so MN Lima get against me so like wow that's a lot of things you had a question yeah it is is but it's like one by one people get knocked off it's very tightly formatted it was it was like you guys were doing like a test run I guess what that was we did test it was tight it was tightly packed it was nice thank you what can I come see I think we're shooting for me so every show is gonna be different by the nature of exactly on YouTube I'm sure we'll have like a highlight reel on YouTube yeah absolutely a best-of or like a highlight it's like here's what you missed yeah and like you could stay for multiple shows and see a different show every time it's very unique yeah so on on that November date we did two shows we did an all-ages show and then at 21 an up show and as you can imagine the answers were wildly different and I gotta say I was pleasantly surprised at 21 up show was where it's at people were getting rowdy but like oh my god anyways well that's exciting yeah I was 2020 what about you man I'm gonna go see Jack perform live in May where are you yeah but like we're very excited for hey thanks man um I got nothing going on this year that's not true you got lessons to teach I want to do fun stuff I want to uh uh write a book [ __ ] yeah oh I would read that book in an instant write a book like a comedy book yeah like no yet I don't know all right good I feel like because you would actually write in the book yeah I want to do why I already know the hotel I'm gonna go to I'm gonna do like a little writer's retreat Oh weeks just sit down and write the hotel has a bar in the basement it's in Pennsylvania I stayed in it once for a friend's wedding and they gave me this room that was like wild it was not like a normal hotel it was like a person's house that had become a hotel later in its life I was staying in the upstairs area and I was like this place is the bomb they have a bar in the basement I'm coming back here and I don't know why or for what and then I was started getting the bug to like just and right and not have my face you want to write on the Opera I don't know if it's a novel maybe it's like a bunch of short stories maybe it's a nonfiction crime thriller probably not that one I don't know too much about crime we're thrillers okay or fiction or non not to suck your dick too much man but like you have a you have quite the talent for writing and it's not one away from that no but it's videos because like when you write a comedy with words I used to do those things where I'd be the Viking character and like write a short story and that was just me like drunk like writing a short story and being like hey I like this and with a little bit of editing it could have been like a good short story but instead I would just leave it as a youtube comment down so funny it's [ __ ] Facebook but those are fun that's I think that's what I started with creatively when I was a kid that's always been my draw to like you know right interesting no not necessarily be part of it or like write for myself or be like an actor that I'm writing for it because now all I write is like a script mm-hmm it's like to sit down and actually like right you know like fiction or like write a story down you can make anything happen like when I write a script them stuck in my room yeah at my desk I've got my computer and I have to make a dick joke it's like a little limit see right little limit yeah and it's very fun I'm not mad at it but at the same time like to sit down and like like a you know a horror story or just some story about a guy in a boat you know like the simplest things you can like you can paint them a certain way like how many people have done like stories about these simple [ __ ] things that we do and made it seem like poetry and it's always like really interesting to read different takes on it but what if it sucks though it won't whatever you guys are like super honest so you like like hey we read your book [Laughter] yeah I will I think that's how it works right you said everyone but you know it's it's very easy to talk about plans yeah this is very in fact sometimes I think this is why I don't I think talking about your plans delays them just by the nature talking like in your head you do this they have actually seen us or think maybe it was a study I could be making it up too but it seems to make sense they says if you have a goal you want to achieve don't tell anybody because when you speak the goal to people then you get the sense that you've already accomplished it and then it makes you less motivated to do it Wow so in this case I just did it so not right yeah it will come out of this well then you're not gonna do it we're gonna have plans but you know I I think I I'm happy with the transition we made I do miss making youtube videos but then I think like I I really want to go and make a youtube video like every month but then I remember just what a headache and all the mad [ __ ] things that come with it would you ever consider hiring writers and you know I would but then I already have with between the clothing company and this yeah like I I start going down that path I was like oh I could do all these things but then I'm like oh that's just gonna turn into like it's just gonna make my life miserable I feel like unless you always have to be involved you can't outsource everything you will be involved for sure but I think it's a possibility if you really look at it in a whole new way and in a way that allows your time of involvement to be very particularly you show up to record and then you just I'm gonna give it to you go over the edit or something very like you know calculated because the way we used to do it we can't do anymore it's just not but you about like what if you just you come back when you want like yeah yeah if you feel so inspired to make a video about a certain subject our process was such a nightmare okay was always so negative just to shoot and anything and coming up with the idea and it takes a long time now we have a baby like oh the baby actually don't have as much time as we it would have to be a situation where you walk into it pre-lit okay everything's blocked out like you have an X on the ground that you stand do your bit I mean and like will that feel the same no we would have to be different yeah but but maybe the audience doesn't care they like it the same which could be possibly but I don't know it would be a different thing yeah I would be different yeah I think I really liked this guy ray william johnson oh yeah this kid he's popping up right he's really shooting up the ranks I love his comic book wall very impressed with the amount of comic books he's a crude which i think is actually no no [ __ ] I think it's actually Watchmen behind him I think pages that fall Watchmen it's not watch and I know that because I had to recreate it for an old RWJ parody I did like 10 [ __ ] years ago and I I think it's I think it's Watchmen if you zoom and enhance and I would love for DC Comics to like go through you didn't get the right uses that dress hair goddam YouTube channel with our [ __ ] comic books and you never paid royalties I think he hates me I tried to get him on the show once and he poo pooed me so bad and he's friends with Jeff Dunham by the way who was uh with love not before that wall yeah not my favorite oh my god that comic-book wall the hey what if I did think we need a feel oh we have to go what if what if Achmed the undead terrorists joined Isis and why does he never try to kill Jeff Dunham he joins Isis and he suicide bombs himself sick epic Johnson joke uh Jeff Kent though a theme song room just so good so catchy no Isis took so long so I'm gonna play the ISIS theme song as you better end it [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 945,804

Rating: 4.799901 out of 5

Keywords: jacksfilms, erik comment etiquette, comment etiquette, internet comment etiquette, h3 podcast, h3h3 podcast, the h3 podcast, the h3h3 podcast, h3h3productions, h3h3, h3, ethan klein, hila klein, ethan & hila, ethan and hila

Id: rwhVqYVZHqI

Length: 149min 4sec (8944 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 18 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/JohnTHarmon]

“Being poor sucks.”

• Ethan Klein (2020)

[u/Dan_H3]

Glad to be back :D

[u/Miroslawiec]

Hila talks a lot this episode. I love it!

[u/tolonelyandbeyond]

Along with the holy trinity jack erik and ethan!

[u/rixuraxu]

so much cross talk

[u/marveltarts98]

Loool the ISIS theme mixing with the H3 theme song at the end. Cracked up so hard!!

[u/EzlotheMinish]

You're supposed to drink vodka ice cold! Vodka basically tastes like water when it comes straight out of the freezer, even the cheep stuff.

[u/[deleted]]

"We're getting to the end of the show, I'll get trashed"

​

-Ethan halfway through the video

[u/trentinthetrees]

Hate to say it...but they seemed kind of disinterested..which is cool, they got their own lives and I don’t expect shit from strangers lol but damn it was a snoozer 😴