I'm £15,000 In Debt | FULL EPISODE | Spendaholics

girl about town Anna Bowden is in serious trouble she's 15 grand in debt and she can't stop spending and it's horrible but I call it's time to call in expert help Benjamin fry and Jay hunt have four weeks to transform Anna from a serial spender to a serious saver Jay hunt shopping and lifestyle expert will show Anna how to spend small and still give it large psychological coach Benjamin fry will dig deep to find the reasons behind Anna's overspending that's all true but so I would rather just forget my childhood and move on it's a very expensive habit so can Benjamin and Jay cure Anna of her addiction 29 year old Anna Bowden is single and lives in a shared flat in North London she's a freelance project manager in the city and with her debts mounting she's in desperate need of a Money Makeover to kick-start Anna's four-week trial she's agreed to let lifestyle guru Jay hunt and psychological coach Benjamin fry rifle through her flat while she's out while they haven't met Anna a rummage through her possessions should give them some valuable clues to her personality and her spending habits differently but fun for actually I'm just the thing that I mean that's my own personal space in fact I've only got a little tiny room and all my belongings in the entire world are in that little room Anna is fast approaching 30 but still shares a flat with three others in a vain attempt to hammer down costs they've turned the lounge into a fourth bedroom this is not a desert so this is the kitchen area which is the only shared area in the whole house right this is all they've got between them for four people it is like being in a student flat you kind of imagine that everybody lives there is going to be lying to you is keen to find out where the money is going well Benjamin wants to learn more about Anna's state of mind it's like oh no what do you make of that Jay oh it's a real mess Matt what's interesting is that shows how she's kind of spilling out of her own space just in this room which I see maybe else has I say this is a bit of a metaphor for the way that her life is organized yes state that okay it's not really a place that speaks of a person with an established identity on the cusp of her 30th birthday is it no way well sure we can overlook in that room so we can find that why do I not think it's gonna be any better as the experts continue to despair Anna is beginning to realize just what she's let herself in for I can't sit here and say I'm thrilled about the idea so I'm going through all my stuff at home as I'm sure anyone else in the world would be but there's some real clues there you know into my personality so I think they'll pick up on those hopefully in a positive light it's obvious that Anna's approach to tidiness is as carefree and wild as her finances yeah more spillage just jammed with stuff how can anybody possibly know what is in here if you're in the morning what am I gonna wear there's no way she rifles through all of this I bet none of this stuff would have ever have been worn it's not the way all this stuff's treated take a bloody joke yeah she's a real sign of a disorganized life isn't it just stuff everybody when you look in someone's wardrobe you can really get a sense of what's inside then mine and that cupboard reminds me a lot of her cupboard in the kitchen the organized chaos because in my mind it's I know everything is but obviously someone else will come along it'd be like oh my god how did she live and I might live like a student but she longs to graduate to a place of her own mm-hmm that's interesting that's a lot nicer place to live than here isn't it so you're lying and this dumb dreaming of that dreaming of nice places that you could be living in yeah with your own room and all a living room you can actually live in so clearly she has an ambition to get out of here I feel yes I'm roughing it with my accommodation I'm quite happy to share with three other people and share the bathroom and have a nice room with cool the housemates because I know that this is just a short-term solution Anna insists she's happy making do although reading between the lines and around the walls tells Benjamin a different story what struck me really was the collection of videos Chocolat Moulin Rouge and Casablanca all about women going out into the world and creating a slightly different sense of reality and here is a card says a career is a job that has gone on too long and underneath all of this dominating the end of her bed the thing she wakes up and looks at every day is this topographical map of the world really this just speaks again an escape wanting to get out and you're stuck in this room with no housing staff phone bells yep all her statements I'll tell you what I'm gonna take that with us but that is weird I'm telling you because for somebody who doesn't give a stuff and lives like this this is kind of like a really organized file the bank statements reveal that Ana overspend zone just about everything by the kitchen sink and the cooker obviously there's plenty for us to get going with Ana can't start the day without a coffee a grand a problem that just won't go I'm totally ditz the coffee I love coffee coffee just gives me a huge surge in energy and then a massive load so when I get my massive blow I might need to buy another one her take out coffee - all right huge expanse who easily be spending you know 50 quid a week just so coffee easily probably more actually yeah she's spending money like it's going out of fashion which probably explains the 50 skirts 100 tops and 50 pairs of trousers she just can't stop spending I think it's a necessity I think it's a compulsive disorder of some kind that she's picked up she has to buy something all of this that's 295 pounds I thinks it's impossible trying to buy one thing she usually goes out for let's say a skirt but she'll come back with three or four skirts but most of all she loves to eat out keg nozzles as well as the people yeah yeah Messier the better especially when it comes to that lethal combination of seafood and champagne with her excessive spending and 15,000 pounds worth of debt Anna's dream of her own place is proving elusive she spends money like water I think I should Ryan herself in a little bit because I'm worried that one day she'll just be living with like scopes and bags and shoes I'd know in a box she'll be the most accessorized homeless person a it wouldn't be the first time Anna's hung around a shop door way having scoured the accounts Jay and Benjamin know she's deep in the red and not looking rosy over the next four weeks Benjamin and Jay want Anna to get her spending under control as a wake-up call they're starting with some shock tactics they're going to confront her with her biggest indulgences starting on the sea bed [Music] J and Benjamin hoped their plan will force Anna to realize just how much he squanders on little treats come with me Anna I want to show you sorry we ruined your duvet it's lovely really what this fish represents is the money that you are spending going out like if you're dining out budget was translated to fresh fish yeah this is based on you eating your favorite seafood and shellfish about three times a week how much do you think you're spending every year on your favorite dinners hundreds and thousands probably yeah would you like to know the total well then 5760 goes on shellfish mmm I think three times a week is a bit extreme but I would have said probably like once a week to be honest here I would have gone out and bought seafood maybe twice a week but not three times we've seen your bank statements and we've seen the money you spent yeah you can tell us this two times a week if you like there's no point in lying okay that isn't enough we've got another little surprise for you to show you in the kitchen no joking table because we couldn't fit this much coffee on one table now this represents your designer coffee intake over one year how much money do you think that costs about a thousand or so yeah okay let's try three thousand two hundred and eighty-five pounds yeah on designer coffee but if you just bought one of these and kept the cup for the rest of the week you could still go to work at the same time yeah and still have a cup of coffee yes still be on the move and you'd be saving a bit of money do you know that people who were in debt like you need to do something to stop things like this happening I don't know I just feel in a way justified by my coffee every day because it's my little treat if it was your only treat you could maybe justify it but for going through your statements you do an awful lot of treating yourself to things that you can't really afford and this is just the tip of the iceberg also here's the thing you're really got to think about it you say it's just a couple of cups of coffee but look around the room yeah it's not a couple of cups it all adds up apparently I spend over 5,000 pounds a year on seafood which is just ridiculous I also spend three thousand pound a year on coffee and also what bloody Muppet is it all this is hot water and you know few beans with lattes to go and I was about to feel even more shortchanged to put together a plan for Anna's future Benjamin and Jay need an idea of what she can and can't live without for seven days she'll have to tighten the money belt and hope she doesn't buckle this is where we introduce you to our cold turkey okay so we want to do first of all we want to ask you how much money you think you spend on non-essential items in a week back 200 pounds that's not a bad guess but only the real figure is 350 pounds no no I mean average week surprising yes it does this is you are spending a lot of central items in just one week seven days I think you're gonna be surprised actually just seeing that money because when we've been going through your statements you are the woman who spends one pound ninety on a credit card in a coffee shop I think if you actually had to start using one of these old-fashioned things to pay for some things in the shop it might yes it was ego feels fit excessive I feels a bit I feel a bit shamed actually how much do you think you could live on probably enjoy myself on a hundred pounds per machine without having to make too many sacrifices I'd like to say oh yes I could you know 40 pounds for not very hard the idea of cold turkey yeah you are supposed to go through a week just one week yeah spending literally as little money as possible okay and what we to achieve with that we want you to notice what you really miss yes so we can get down to what you actually need in your life you actually don't what we're trying to do here is get down to a minimum for the next seven dollars yeah I think 40-pound could hurt I'll just try and do my best hmm it burns yeah I thought I mean that's not me I think I could do I could best offer I mean do you want to make it even lower oh no that was foolish and that is it no credit cards nothing else and that's all you've got in your pocket in seven days with only 40 pounds to live on Benjamin and Jay are far from convinced that Anna will make the week I think when she says she's going to really make an effort she believes it but I think she's in a massive stay to deny out who will find it an emotional experience to live with less I think the coffee's an emotional crutch I think the shopping is an emotional crutch and beneath there are some real issues it's almost like the urge comes up to want to spend therefore she has to do it and when she hasn't got the money to do it with this week I think it's going to hit her much harder than she thinks of course Anna's response is far from ecstatic I think my verse off shot myself in the foot a little bit because then 40 pounds to me is not very much money and it's not gonna get me very far for a whole week it's gonna be hell it's gonna be horrible I'm not gonna enjoy it at all [Music] with her weekly spending budget slashed from 350 pounds to 40 something's got to give first up are those expensive designer coffees this is my breakfast peanut butter and jam sandwich and a nice cup of coffee a cup a cup of coffee actually I put jam and peanut butter on frozen bread it means something it's work that it's thawed and I it sounds disgusting but at least it's fresh and it's soft and it's nice and my takeout coffee which was fundamental as part of my morning mantra and the takeout breakfast I mean you know I'll make that and I'll drink it on the trip on the train it's with some reason it just tastes better in this cup and I can sort of delude myself it's time to wake up and smell the coffee Anna starts brewing her own and drinking from a takeout cup just as Jay suggested but can she loves the working day without her daily fix day one side of the 8th chi-ching chi-ching with more food pans I was walking past Topshop and found something some lured in and by the cry of lots of clothes calling end of the day ha ha ha with all of it all my 40 pounds did spinning I'm so pleased at home spending a single penny so that will go back to my wallet and we'll see how I get on tomorrow desperate times call for desperate measures Anna's given her credit cards the push and flexes a different kind of plastic her gym car instead of eating out Anna's opted with a pioneering approach of eating in for the whole week she can't remember the last time she did a weekly shop and compared to the 60 pounds she'd normally spend on one meal out it's a bargain I've just cut down like I've just had like you know like one coffee and said like three coffees a day or something ridiculous you know and I haven't been I've been making food at home and sandwiches and things like that even if it's just like one day wait just not spending any money that will soon that'll soon add up psychological coach Benjamin fry is a self-help author and broadsheet columnist who had to conquer his own demons experience has shown him that most people's problems in the present are echoes of unresolved issues from the past he thinks there's more to Anna spending than meets the eye and wants to start digging deeper the shopping that you've done that maybe is contributed to building up these debts is possibly your way around winding it's my way of unwinding differently it's a release it's a it's a it's almost like a reward giving yourself a present treating yourself does carry an emotional component and I'm quite interested to see what we can deduce from that emotional component to try and help you to change the way that you interact perhaps to spending money you could separate out the one from the other so what I would like to ask you to think about talking with me if it's all right yes I'm talking about your family history and your you know your life as a child then you grew up and things like that because that's usually what contributes to a person's emotional makeup yeah I mean at one point we had quite a lot of money and week was my mom and dad both inherited a lot of money from there quite a family network I didn't so as you grew up you aware there was a lot of money in the family well not really aware of it just aware that your constant holiday we had loads and loads of holidays but it was really unfortunate because obviously as time went on like eventually your money gets used up for living is that what happened and that's what happened yeah I mean my parents got divorced when I was 16 they they were around the same time yeah a lot of rouse and a lot of them you know I think they were just done so there's a lot of anger in the house as you grew up yeah I think my dad had a difficult childhood and that made him that gave him a difficult adulthood as well Benjamin thinks that by overspending Anna was reliving the happy time she had when her parents were together and money was no object I get a sense that there's a lot of fear that's kind of hung over in your life maybe from that and I think the love that you will receive in your family ran a bit try the money ran dry it's when you get out your credit card it's almost like you're borrowing love mm-hmm and as you know love is what we all crave rich or poor actually I'm sure that's all true but so I would rather just forget my childhood and move on but the trouble is that the childhood won't forget you because it's stuck inside your body internally and externally you manifest this sort of sense of insecurity and I think that this is because from your childhood there's a great deal of insecurity which was terrifying at a time that you've pushed to one side you know your work life is contract based it's quite insecure yeah very worried your personal financial situation is insecure and Finance is a great metaphor for security or lack of security but for me the whole theme of your life is one of lost security yeah so I think that's something we can think about working on and if you don't mind I'm gonna go and see your mother mm-hmm down in Bognor Regis yeah and chat to her about some stuff yeah and just get a clearer picture of your background and how it's been with her maybe bring some of this stuff up with her from what we've got through so far it's been clear that there were issues in her past that related to money in the family and they were issues in the family with the divorce for parents and it does seem to be quite a coincidence to me and that now she's manifesting her life in a way that doesn't give her any kind of domestic security and she's also losing any chance of financial security by spending so much money in becoming in debt I felt torn by what it said just brought a whole load of emotions there that I haven't ever I am quite insecure and I don't I'm single and of course he said all of these things and they all felt like he was saying your life perhaps instead of pushing security away I should encourage them security into my life [Music] Amma's celebrating the last day of her week-long money diet by having a drink with a friend she's determined to stand firm but will she wobble when it comes to shampoo a little cheat tip of the day bit naughty probably a bit legal as well but it's brilliant I have a little hip flask - King and I bought this actually we used it until now but it's great you know if you have cranberry juice and you like quid from the bar spike it with some broccolini but all right prop a nice cocktail there that would be you know that's expand in the epital underbar so pretty good stuff I'm actually getting a real buzz out of it whereas I used to get like a thrill out of spending I'm actually getting a thrill out saving I've got rid of all that guilt and all that you know feeling like I'm spending out of control and now for a lot more structured in my spending Anna may have survived her week of cold turkey but she still needs a firm grip on the purse if she's going to shift that 15,000 pounds dead lifestyle expert Jay hunt has come to launch anna's new life with a brand new budget so cold turkey you've done it seven days well done for surviving it how did you get on have you got any money left do you in the red I'm actually you have every interesting when it was in the red no I actually have I have this left in pound 65 you wrote it yes that's really good Anna so but a lot of people have bought me drinks bought me a meal J is giving her a tight budget which should ease her death over the next three weeks she will show and I have to be a social butterfly without having a financial flutter Anna's main indulgences are dressing up and eating out so Jays worked out a strict budget if Anna can have her spending in these two key areas she'll save around six hundred and fifty pounds every month trouble is Anna's a girl about town she loves good food and spending 60 pounds on a meal comes as naturally as Lobster Thermidor but with a new budget on the table eating out has run its course Jay is determined to show Anna another side of London life she's brought her to Borough Market for a taste of quality food for a fraction of restaurant prices what we're gonna do today is take the average amount that you've been spending okay on a dinner which as we know is 60 pounds so that's one meal out for you I'm gonna give you that money okay you tonight are going to be cooking dinner at home your favorites you're going to do more more in year and you're going to do Spanish prawns with garlic now I don't want you to have to worry about the alcohol okay because your friends who are coming but all gonna bring a bottle so you don't have to worry about the bubbles at all so all we got to worry about is making sure that our 60 pounds buys everything on this list see the amount of choice that you've got here now your eyes are starting to light up this exciting speed shopping the grams of mussels so we want 20 large prawns how much is that twenty six ninety for a whole lot there you go it's a very different shopping experience for Anna an overload of delicious sights and smells that leave her dazzled can it be she's getting the same buzz here as she does from all those pricey restaurants one of these yep and then you can actually get to choose which bits of salad you put in if you know you like rocket just go around it yeah okay tomatoes babies and ask those cherry ones on the vine baby stances just keep your eyes peeled because some of them are prizes key those yes some of them a price per punt it how much is that 695 Anna that's 10 pounds wanna bring in under budget popular spot everybody's in the know apart review a new shopping experience that was how did you find that brilliant I'm really enjoyed it what today is shown is that you know you can get the same amount of excitement over spending two pounds fifty on a loaf of bread as you can spending 60 quid on a jacket so we started this morning with sixty rounds we've got everything that was on our list congratulations Anna cuz you've actually come in 20 pound 65 P under budget good luck with tonight [Music] fortunately Anna's repertoire stretches beyond peanut butter and jam sandwiches and she won't be serving this treat in a takeaway cup yeah usually when I don't know how to cook something I just throw my mum in quite a fiddly meal to prepare ain't got time [Music] we face all that her friends have even brought the champagne so another saving there so what we got here oh stop the heretic market and then it was visually spectacular I was just surprised that we really even realize it's there but it's all must be lucky London secret but all the chef's go you know for the restaurant I've got everything about forty pound I mean as a look then we are talking the Gucci of market mmm-hmm not right I think I'm right yeah it's amazing it's wicked fantastic I'm expecting this obviously on a regular basis mmm I think we should make a big toast - you are making such a fantastic [Music] as Anna wakes up to the possibility of a high life on a low budget Benjamin remains focused on digging out the roots of her problem he's on his way to Bognor Regis to meet Anna's mother Wendy and explore his hunch that anna has yet to face the emotional fallout of her parents breakup when she was 16 until she confronts those feelings of lost security she'll continue to fill this emotional deficit with a financial one I had a very good chat with Anna one-to-one the other day in relation to the issue of her spending more money than she earns basically I'm glad you have actually I don't know why but I I was pinpoint it to when she was working where she earned lots of money and she got into the habit at that stage of having a lot of nice things traveling a lot going away a lot for weekends and then that only lasted for a year but that habits how did that well it was fairly sudden um see for me that's such a parallel with her childhood because she had a not a job but a family that seemed to have lots of money she got in the habit of traveling nice things and then suddenly it's ended yes that does make sense yeah it's possible that the the emotional component of the spending is her way of compensating for the fact that she never really closed off that time of saying it didn't really get closure on I guess the end of her parents marriage for me I see it very simply being summed up as she's confusing money with love mm-hmm and I think that we need to instead of having money equaling love we need to have love equaling love hmm and I think then the money in a sense may take care of itself I just wanted to check if you how open you really feel to sitting down with her and doing something that's not only difficult for her but also really difficult for you which is really actually sharing feelings rather than hiding behind the busyness of life yeah I think now that you've kind of brought it to her head as it were it will be much easier I mean I don't think either of us would have thought of sitting down and talking in depth about about things but now you've mentioned it and yeah I think it's a good idea yeah and I'm absolutely able for it Benjamin's talked with Wendy has confirmed his theory all he needs now is to persuade Anna to talk to her mother sounds simple but Benjamin knows it won't be I think these kind of things are very hard to bring up in a family setting and often in England our culture is terribly biased against communication and openness I think it's inevitable that some of these things are going to be upsetting I suspect though that the first step will be really trying to get people in the family to start to communicate about things that Anna's never really felt she had permission to talk about probably stuff that maybe Anna looks at and thinks I can't talk about that because it seems negative and therefore it seems I'm grateful to my parents [Music] it's two weeks into Anna's money makeover psychological coach Benjamin has started to deal with her emotional issues while lifestyle expert Jay has given her a new budget and opened up a creative alternative to dining out but temptation is never far away Anna turns 30 next week and wants to throw a party but the cost could reach of damaging 1,000 pounds lifestyle coach Jay hunt is on hand with advice on keeping the costs down good I just sort of slightly worried that you know with something like a 30th birthday if we're not careful it could absolutely tip the balance over and I just wondered what your plans are I mean I'd like to provide all the like canapes I'd like to lay out some rings maybe some food and if money was no object I do that all myself right okay five minutes Diana what I've come up with is I'd like you to just spend a bit of time and do a bit of research okay because it is possible that you can pick some really nice bars and places because what you can do is some of them will give over a designated area if you say that you have X amount of people guaranteed to come and party with you they're buying their own drinks you know these places are quite savvy they want your custom they want your friends in there spending money in there and for that you don't actually have to pay and if you really don't want to pay too much money so if I could cut any corners I have a birthday cake bite from Tesco's or something or a bakery and then have that in there and I mean because I'm gonna be giving them a lot of money at the bar surely I should be able to negotiate around that I think if you plan in advance then nothing's gonna be a surprise I think it would be a shame if at the last minute due to a panic you're kind of chucking money at your 30th birthday when in advance we considered work it out which would mean you could have fun and it could be stylish and you can be surrounded by all your friends but when you wake up on Sunday you're not going to be thinking oh no I can't believe that I spent all that money on a night that I can't remember all right so I'll give you these and that can be your research project all right Jai's theory is that you don't always have to go cheap to get something for free good deals can be had in expensive places provided you do your leg work and a little savvy negotiation Ana's first target is a fashionable bar in Soho can she get away without guaranteeing any money the same time and I'm looking for oh and if you're not having food and you just wanted to do let me minimum spend and just drink then we probably set you in a minimum of spend which probably be around a thousand pounds for what you're talking about guarantee person has won yeah what we don't is for 25 percent so does as a deposit right and upfront obviously that would be refunded Danny what if and when the minimum stone was met not what Anna wants to hear but she's got the bit between her teeth and rises to the challenge working out of it let's squeeze it for you for the whole night let's no charge at all for no spend beyond the bars all now she knows it can be done she raises the stakes and goes for an expensive venue in Mayfair certainly not the cheapest part of town negotiation skills at the ready she's determined to get a place she really wants well how much is it out just some drinks yeah okay we can say it's gonna be a minimum of 4,000 yeah okay well we can't find something always very nice I love this part finally the leg works paid off and has got the bar she wants for free and got them to waive their minimum spend of 1,000 pounds got the gun okay all of Anna's best friends have made the party even a contingent from boknam despite knowing they'll have to buy their own drinks determined to cut costs even further and has brought along her own birthday cake while it's from Tesco's no one can tell under all those candles [Music] [Applause] Anna's thirtieth birthday is a massive hit but only cost her a modest 90 pounds she's learning fast the party might have been a success but it's Monday morning and Anna's come crashing down to earth she's 30 and the bad news is she's just lost her job impossible to talk to me about 8:30 this morning so I went in and he said to me and I decided I'd like to let you go in other words he'd give me the sack it just feels a bit bit horrible really nothing like this has ever happened to me before ready for a nap had just four perhaps it's also full of coffee through the ringer part of the reason anna has problems with money is due to the factor income is very unstable as she lives the precarious life of a freelancer with her 15,000 pounds debt she needs to find work fast but can't afford to take the first thing on offer you or anyone else for that matter dealing with the the project supports timez5 role I know I've been on their tuna pound a day for the last six months and then prior to that was on 350 pound today you know push you're not no thank you one of those phone calls when they're just really trying to get you off the phone so this thing whatever they want you know of what they can do I'll go back to your Tiffani about you you're like yeah right the thought of being out of work job is bloody awful you can get quite despondent after a while sort of you know looking away like that it's you know picking up the fire chat touch her you know put the phone down I refuse to get really stressed and pissed off about it I mean last time I was unemployed and went on holiday which probably wasn't the bet it's a chair of self up that's certainly not going to happen this time with Anna now unemployed Jay and Benjamin have called a crisis meeting beautiful so how do you think Anna's doing I'm really highlighted with her the issue of the lack of security in their lighting a big issue you see in every area of her life of course adding to that cocktail of insecurity is the fact that she has just lost her job and as a contractor the thing that she prizes because she thinks it makes her more money she had no security in her contract again no lack of security and that's rough on her because she's in debt she needs incoming a month so I'm gonna try and nip away on the security issues I agree with you about the security I just want to see a starter dialogue with her mother about the family history and about those times that aren't easy to talk about neither easy for her mother nor for her if she can begin that journey then everything else will slowly fall into place Anna might need something a bit inspirational at the moment something to help her focus because obviously you know with her losing her job I don't think she's feeling great maybe let's just show her some alternative ways of living I might even take her to show her some properties and say you know this is what you could be aiming for if you reassess how you're spending I just think a bit of a cheer up inspiration to help her move forward could be a good thing at this stage to keep on a focused and stop her from spending to cheer herself up Jay wants to inspire her with a long-term goal Anna can earn up to 50,000 pounds per year if she gets a job with a longer contract and sticks to her new budget she could eventually afford to buy a flat in London for two hundred and sixty thousand pounds with bedrooms and a lounge Jay's found the place for Anna and it's just around the corner from where she lives this is the living room oh my god what you think wow that's gorgeous this is nice would you know what I can't sue cuz I live in such justice cus all right now but it is really it's love it's lovely though isn't it I mean I really know it sighs I know pretty pretty windows nice sofas your own really nice living room I mean it will obviously won't come with any furniture so you look at the space and the space itself it's beautiful and it seems like very nice area as well Anna's shared rented flats for five years but is starting to realize the true value of owning and I'm living in your own space this is lovely and he really oh really emergence of cooking in here it's also clean and not some old grubby cooker from the forties you know what you've already done you know come here once for the kitchen supper yeah so this would just be same again in here mm-hmm it's very nice it's much it's so lovely though yeah and there's even a second bedroom which is a real asset what they've done with it is obviously turn it into an office plenty of room for books yeah you know it's nice I mean you could get a double bed in here it's not the most enormous room but in a way you know this is something that would be Anna's flat this is your safety net if you're out of a job or you did something or you want some extra money or you want to go off traveling for a bit this is your safety but the real showstopper is the main bedroom Wow this would be your main bedroom lots and lots of storage space oh my lord four wardrobes for you to fill wardrobes they don't all have to be crammed with stuff and I just think it's really lovely to be able to be in bed yes and look out over the garden I mean how nice is that I mean that's amazing to have that this is kind of you know what you're aiming for yeah when you get to this point do you think that you would be happy enough in Australia yesterday I mean to me this would be my dream come true do you think this helps when you think about this and can remember what this flat looks like to focus when you're tempted to think oh it's only 20 quid here or I'm feeling miserable agro-food yes yeah do you throw saying this I agree with you totally yeah the short-term fix is not gonna help me in my long-term goal a bit of reprogramming yeah and a bit of effort and there's no reason why you can't be living in a really nice space like this today was fantastic because I mean every day is being completely different but today was like a complete surprise to see this beautiful beautiful house it was just like something out of my dreams it's happening amazing because I have gone from this morning thinking what do you know that's just absolutely bloody ridiculous ideas move out - hey I want to move out it really really focused me on a goal on something that is achievable [Music] with her dream flat tantalizingly within reach and has even more fired up to find a new job I know people that spent six months getting a job the thought of not having any money coming in it's actually quite scary she's got an interview for a management position with a major holiday firm at last she could be going places oh I feel really nervous I've really sake and that means a really pathetic in nap I I just yeah I just gonna get over there really [Music] the competition is stiff Amma's interview last two-and-a-half hours and you have to wait a week for a decision [Music] Anna is three weeks into her money makeover still unemployed she's managed to keep clear of shops and keep her spending down but psychological coach Benjamin fry is concerned that anna has also managed to avoid facing the emotional issues behind her spending namely her parents divorce it's time to knock down I want to find out what's happened with you and your mom that's not what she said about you would talk about anything but you don't she said that you haven't actually talked about those issues for a long time not talk to you full stop but talk to you about the stuff that I was discussing with about your family history and particularly about things about money and love we talk we talk all the time sorry that's just well no crap what she said to me but she said you don't talk about deep emotional stuff about your childhood we do though we do all the time it always comes up in conversation you know you can talk a great deal but it's not always the most natural thing to talk about the stuff that perhaps is difficult and talking about you know the stuff that's emotional yeah the stuff that's the core emotional response to some of the things that went on for no one's fault in your childhood but you experienced we do talk about emotional things I think we both get really upset people are people they do get upset yeah what's actually damaging to people is to get upset and to not be not to externalize that sense of being upset no I don't think there's anything you can say to your mom that will make your life any worse I mean what sort of things ease of driving out there lots of parents get divorced and lots of parents have conversations with their adult children about it ten fifteen twenty three to five years later because it's stuff that needs often is resolved what I'm saying is look at the fundamental psychological architecture that you have that is causing the spending in the first place because I believe that if you change the way you feel your habits will change automatically anyway so what are you going to do with your mum well you gonna do when the opportunity presents itself I might ask my mom how she felt when I was growing up young man you say mom I'm gonna come down on X afternoon is there something I really want to talk to you about so you create the opportunity why not be master of your own destiny yeah I felt almost like Integra Gatien and it also found that someone's slating in life you know and it's just like Christ you know this is so personal you know I am quite happy to put all my trust than him and you know I will definitely give it a try because I you know if it's if it isn't that important which it appears to be and venturing then yes I will embrace that and do that [Music] it's 7:30 on Saturday morning and the wheels are in motion it's Bogner or burst as Ana heads for a heart-to-heart with her mum and a face-to-face with her difficult past [Music] don't really want to do this they're gonna sleep but a well I'll put a price on it still investments quite serious and quite you know an unhappy time of my life I don't think anyone particularly will talk about that because you wanna you know I think we have problems in life you're just gonna go ahead and sad get on with it you know I think I'm I didn't have a very good marriage obviously and we all know that but it was just you know I had about happened in the first place I want to end up with this person and you know why did that happen we've all been brought up it's not to discuss anything that's just how it was none [Music] while some of her childhood memories are far from happy Anna does have fond recollections of growing up in Bogner I'm really pleased have been go to Atlanta really please I remember you know going down to the beach who fell from that's not very far and walking down the beach swimming in the sea walking back home the tower at Round G to me it's like a little mini black ball it's quite cheesy the pier and the candy floss and the sticks of rock and there's no the crazy golf and the bowling and you know it's quite it's quite an asset at stake if you just appreciate it for its nothingness this is the first time that Anna and her mum have made time to share their true feelings about the family breakup it's not going to be easy and proves to be an experience that's too painful to share with the camera they paced the beach alone talking about the emotional issues of the past that still haunt Anna today and that Benjamin believes are responsible for her current financial problems and insecurities we talk about our own you know I think we talked about all the good things and all the bad things I think my mom my mom has been a success me everything in life and then obviously to not have a good marriage she said that she felt it was like her fold and that really took to her at her self-esteem so I mean she never said that before I really feel sorry for my mom so that she must been very lonely at the time and not being able to talk to anyone himself and I thought you know poor all things have to go through all that I'm around but yeah of course I first time of my life I've really really understood that more than ever whereas I wouldn't have understood that before suppose as a child you can't see it from me I don't put a few you so wonder what the hell is all this about you know what's going on not that you almost think it's normal when it you kind of know it's not yours it's not right it's just really horrible but you don't I think when you're in these situations you just you immerse yourself in the situation you try and make it right you try and make it right because that's what life's all about isn't it working at things we try make them you know good and if they're not good you try and make them good Anna has faced her fears and talked to her mother about her childhood finally starting to deal with what happened in the past she can now look to a secure future in control of her life and finances it's been one month since Anna finished her money makeover and she's invited J and Benjamin round for supper it's been a struggle keeping to her budget but she's been determined to shake off her debt and start afresh she still makes her own coffee and she's confined her eating out to once a month Benjamin and Jay are keen to find out what else has changed hey great it's really good sorry I mean I feel more confident with much more confident in this job than I ever had but you can more calm I have to say since I know we met when we first started to feel more confident happy time this all sounds really positive and really encouraging on so many different levels but bringing it back to of course what we started off doing you're just looking at your finances how much money do you think you have maybe saved will now have they wouldn't have had if we hadn't done this process together um well I've saved at least a thousand pound probably 1,500 great yeah there's a few credit card companies their out of pocket since I started quite yeah actually I've gotten down to just the one emergency credit card in the possible if I get jobs I've I would spend it down to the penny I've never I've never been this discipline in my life you know and even then I you know I still think I've I've got a long way to go yeah how does it feel to be this discipline and I'm gonna have good days and I have bad days um that was a bad day you know see that he's bought and keep it's and Bob's and and then other days I you know I really you know really would be hard on myself and yeah um so still tough is still a struggle there you feel at the end of the day the result makes it worthwhile yeah definitely I mean I really really I mean I visualized in that house you know that flat loads and you know just every time I going to crap shown I just think gosh this would be amazing this would be apt incredible too the house in London I mean that that is like my dream and also that is a lot of security there and having a house in a nice area and I just think that you know if I make if you cut back to him there doesn't sound to me that and there's many things out there that it's gonna put you off that track yeah puts me on a walk this way Kate arise with her life more in order it's time for her rumors and are spending less money out by spending more time in so she's made her home as cozy as possible Jude Lawrence a big transformation can either no it's really nosy now I want to see how far oh look that's incredible that almost looks like a real person's wardrobe everything at the beginning your life was just a total mix so will your draw and now your draws very organized and shows that you can get anything you need out of it and that's what you're like yeah it's organized and whatever you want out of it you can find it it's so nice you know what I was so rude about this room was my god what a mess yeah more spillage like a bloody joke here [Music] you look right can say looking around at this I take it all back Anna Anna when you're here and you're lying in bed and you're just looking around at your sort of new fabulous tidy room do you like that feeling I do I love it this is actually in a straightaway reminds me you know remember one went to the flat yeah you know the house that we really loved this room reminds you of that yes when I came in here first I just thought this is a this is a person whose life is in transit you really have no idea where you are where you're going no you look at anything this is a person who's really serious about creating security about creating a home I mean this is actually your first step towards getting to that home that you imagine yourself being in so it really speaks of a different person and I think there's a lot about what you're externalizing here which shows that on a deeper level they've been internal changes with you and this is the way I always look at people is that if you change what's within then it can't help but come out on the outside and that's really what I see in you and I think that's very gratifying this is a great space to be in physically and emotionally Anna has definitely started her journey towards paying back her debts and getting really back on track it's not a big surprise that she's able to now make inroads into the headline issue of the debt because he's actually made inroads into the underlying issues that I believe were the reason she gotten to death in the first place I think she is much much happier and I think she's much less worried and that has really calmed her down I'm very pleased right I think we went into some of the psychological stuff quite aggressively which always concerns me but in her case I think we can see real dividends have come out of that it's definitely made me think differently about about everything because um I don't know the things I want now I just different in a way and and I think anything's anything that was about security and permanence I I would reject it so I didn't want and but then at the same time I read the irony is that I really really did want that [Music]

Channel: Spendaholics

Views: 238,619

Keywords: Spendaholics, Shopaholics, Shopping, Spending, Haul, Addicted, Addiction, BBC, Only Human, Jay Hunt, Benjamin Fry, Debt, Finances, TV Show, Full Episodes, clothes, fashion, almost 30, 30 years old, 30 year old woman, birthday, eating out, dining, fine dining, food, coffee, coffeeaddict, costa, starbucks

Id: TF21oMqdLgI

Length: 55min 57sec (3357 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 28 2019