IELTS Live - Task 2 Writing - Agree or Disagree - Band 9

hi students and welcome to today's live us my name is adrian and i am streaming to you from beautiful victoria the capital city of british columbia here on the west coast of canada again i hope everybody is having a great day so far staying healthy staying strong and optimistic during these challenging times welcome kyber abhishek welcome to all of our members hi gagan sita angel anjali sharman good to see many students in the class in this lesson we are looking at an example task 2 writing that was sent to us by one of our students it is an agree or disagree question and this lesson is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success please visit us there for the general ielts check us out at g i e l t s help dot com that's general ielts help on both of our websites we have lots and lots of help for you to increase your band scores this is our academic ielts website here with the blue background you can click this big red button to join our premium package it is a one-time payment for lifetime access you can use the code r4tyj to get a twenty percent discount when you apply that code today uh and this is our general ielts website here with the green background again click that big red button it is a one-time payment for lifetime access or at least until you pass your ielts exam and we are a british council house registration center and certified agents so you are in great hands with us thank you pavan deep about the compliment for my shirt of course we have apps academic ielts help app links to ahelp.com general alex help app links to gltshelp.com you can download those apps from your app stores the instagram profiles to follow us is ielts underscore a help and g ielts help and if you want to ask me a question send me an email adrian ae help dot com all right paw on deep i'm glad that you will buy our course you will definitely benefit from it it's a small investment for a lot of gain so it's a good roi good return on investment all right everyone so um let's take a look at today's task two question okay so here we go um short and sweet uh ielts task to writing you should spend about 40 minutes on this task first step read the question carefully teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones in school pay very careful attention to that negative in this question not be allowed to use mobile phones in schools do you agree or disagree give explanations and examples for your responses you should write at least 250 words that's minimum 250 words a word count does matter uh good essays for task 2 or closer to 300 320 words make sure to review those 300 320 words for spelling mistakes grammatical mistakes those definitely drop your score okay so the very first step when you read a question is to paraphrase the question so that you're sure that you understand the question so let's do that now let's paraphrase this question which means uh that you should use your own words to rewrite this question now this is not your introductory paragraph okay if all you do for your introduction is paraphrase the question and tell your reader that this is what your essay will be about you will not get a score higher than a 7 maybe a 7.5 okay uh angel anjali is asking can we use idioms um yeah angel you can but you have to be very very careful because if you use an idiom incorrectly it will really affect your coherence which means that it will be very confusing for your audience so be very careful eric good luck on your test tomorrow okay all right um so let's do this let's take a moment now together to paraphrase this question i'm going to do the same and then we'll compare okay here we go so all right so here we go rajvir welcome to the class rajvir says uh teens should be barred from using smartphones in the educational institutions are you in agreement or disapproval of this notion provide explanations and examples from your experience very good rajiv just that one correction is there one correction there with disprove uh it's it's actually okay rajvir um to write it that way yeah okay kyber says the permission to use smartphones in education centers should not be given to teenagers do you approve or disprove yeah very good kyber very nice paraphrasing permission uh should not be given is a very nice way to paraphrase as well amanda some synonyms for teenagers are teens or adolescents okay adolescents um so think of the word adult and it's adolescence all right sammy says adolescents must not be permitted to utilize cell phones in schools do you approve or disprove provide explanations and examples yeah look at all the different ways excuse me that um we can paraphrase this uh so far everybody is unique in their paraphrasing and that's great uh nick hill writes adolescents ought to be prohibited from the usage of electronic devices and educational institutions do you approve or not yeah nick hill very good uh electronic devices um careful calculator is an electronic device but yes if we're talking about tablets i suppose tablets could be used uh similarly now we might not want to talk about that because tablets can be used for learning same with computers so i think here it's specifically smart phones okay all right so swati writes adolescents should be prohibited to use cell phones inside the school yeah so swati it's a passive sentence so you need the verb be adolescent should be prohibited because they're prohibited by the teachers or by the educational board okay uh amit writes children believe below the age of 15 should not be given permission to use smartphones yeah careful again it's passive amid i'm not sure if we're dealing with children under 15 we're dealing with adolescents so maybe even 16 17 in this case as well okay so the reason we do this is uh paraphrasing the question gives you clarity about the essay and useful vocabulary so that's why you do it okay all right um so now the next step is to identify the topic so what are we talking about here okay and when you identify the topic be clear and concise okay which means that you want to be accurate with your paraphrasing here and you should never ever start to write an essay before you identify your topic clearly if you're not sure about it reread the question look at your paraphrasing again ask yourself what am i writing about here so what is in discussion okay that's what we mean when we talk about the topic so what am i discussing okay and in this case what are you discussing so what is the discussion uh nick hill says usage of phones by teens yeah nick hill i think you're definitely on the right track so um a little bit more specific sharman says it's banning smartphones for teenagers in school charmin that is a perfect identification of the topic okay so banning the use of smartphones yeah yeah so that's the topic um amanda yeah we can talk about it that way too so amanda says allowing the use of phones for teens in schools not in general so not in everyday outside of school right you have to be careful not to confuse it with that so it's very important to include this in school component into that topic otherwise you're going to be a little bit um off all right okay and then the controlling idea is uh is this good or is this bad okay all right okay good so now we do a little bit of critical thinking before we start writing so we think about you know what does it mean to ban schools why would we do it how would we do it and in this case we're going to really identify some of the controlling idea as well so use some critical thinking critically think about the topic okay it means ask what why and how okay sure so here we get into some uh fun kind of uh theory or hypothesis or pondering so what does it mean that's the first question what is banning the use of phones during school so uh let's uh identify this in your opinion what does it mean yeah so rajvir agrees with that first question very good rajvir yeah what does it mean banning the use of smartphones for teens and schools and always take a step because some people would just say oh it means don't allow teens to use phones in schools yeah but what is that so how do we define that so amanda says students cannot use their phone in studying time okay i actually disagree with you amanda on that one um in my opinion ashish congratulations on your 8.5 in the ielts that's fantastic send me a testimonial to adrian ae-help.com i would love to get your feedback and experience okay so kyber says this means that adolescents should not bring smartphones to school okay um charmin says it means students should not be allowed to use smartphones during school hours okay assad beck says restricting teens from using phones in school during lesson okay haman says students cannot carry phones to school so you see there are some different definitions here so even though you think everybody might have the same idea people have different ideas so some of you are saying students should not be or teens i should say should not be allowed to bring phones to school some of you are saying uh teens should not be allowed to use phones during lessons okay um okay sammy you're giving reasons careful not to confuse it i would do it a little bit differently i would say teens should not be allowed to use phones while on uh school premises okay um so notice that we have a lot of people saying they should not be allowed to bring phones to school many people are saying teens should not be allowed to use phones during lessons and i'm saying teens should not be allowed to use phones while on school premises okay these are not the same these are clearly different does everybody see that these three definitions of what is banning the use of phones during school uh is here so do you see the difference between these three definitions of this question i said that premises means on school grounds so on the property of the school okay so premises school grounds or school property okay nick hill says yes all right um why do you think i gave this definition instead of these two so what is my logic here having really good logic for task two establishing really good ideas before you start writing is absolutely key to getting those higher band scores okay so when you get into the band 789 category content becomes very important you have to have very good grammar you have to have very good lexical resource uh you need great spelling and content becomes essential as well right so why why am i writing this instead of these two here okay so rajvir says teens can bring the phone to school but they cannot use it while inside the school yeah and there's logic to that okay yeah so haman i think that teens can carry the phone to school that's okay but they're not allowed to use it while they're on the school grounds okay so um what is my logic for that uh it's because i'm visualizing right and i'm thinking well the teenager so i'll explain my logic here okay okay so my logic here if i'm visualizing this is that teens may need their phone after school to call their parents to come pick them up right if they don't have a school if they have some kind of an emergency it's probably a good idea that they have their phone so that they can use it in this emergency situation or to call their parents i'm sure most of us would agree okay all right also uh teens can use their phones for negative behaviors lunch breaks or school sports events uh that are okay so um when students are together in a group at school because they have to be they have a common sporting event for example or some other school event then once again those phones can be really distracting and that might not be during a lesson time that could be during lunch break okay does everybody see that so is everybody clear now on why i wrote that they cannot use their phone while engaged in some kind of a school activity or on school premises okay all right so clarity is key all right you have to have a good argument especially and i got this question a couple of times over the past two weeks is how do i write a good agree or disagree essay when you have an agree or disagree question you have to have really good logic for why you are agreeing or disagreeing so it's worth spending an extra second or extra minute to test your logic okay all right it looks like people have it so manish says yes got it angel says yes okay panchal says clear okay okay good so now um let's ask the next question which is the why question right so let's ask why should teens not be permitted to use uh phones in school okay and when you're thinking about this and you're thinking about the agree or disagree right you should be thinking about your top choice answers so uh think about what the best answers are think of the best answers think of what most people would say uh in response to this okay so sharmin says first of all it's distracting yeah okay so distractions yeah phones are very distracting okay um what would be another one okay so they get distracted from their studies yes absolutely uh and what would be some more reasons okay i'm still seeing lots of distractions uh health issues manish says misuse of the phone yep okay what would be the misuse of the phone okay how do teens misuse there we go so pretty says bullying yeah okay that can happen outside of school but certainly it's much more negative when it's happening during school so uh bullying negative use of the phone okay so let's ask some how questions what would be a good how question to think about here okay bishal says selfish behavior absolutely so what would be a good how question in this case okay so follow with your logic keep going narrower and narrower focus okay dmos says i don't like people bullying in school yes but don't get personally involved in the essay dmos okay so what is the how question here all right so eric says how could restrictions be implemented yeah i think that's a good question kyber says how could uh banning uh the use of smartphones be useful in school that's a good question as well okay yeah um i would probably go with a few different ones here one i would ask is how are smartphones uh distracting for teens okay um so socializing which means texting right non-school subjects like music videos for example okay all right uh i would probably ask how are uh smartphones misused okay answer there is uh maybe bullying so making fun of others clothing etc i'm not going to go into details there okay uh looking at inappropriate content violence so on right and yeah another good question that uh some of you said is how can smartphones be banned during school or while at school uh how could you do that so we said you know leaving them at home is probably not a good idea because in emergencies a phone can be very useful so how could you how could you ban teens from using phones at school what kinds of steps could the educational institutions or the principals take in order to ban students from using phones at school okay so charman says strict legislation so very strict rules yeah so strict rules and consequences yeah penalties okay sami says handing them over to the teachers okay yeah putting them in a lock box while at school okay um there are some other ways to do it printer says installing cctv i think you could install something else [Music] while at school okay so providing lockers for schools yeah there we go hemant says network jammers on premises yeah yeah and lots of schools have actually been doing that they actually have network jammers on school grounds which means that basically you can't get a signal on your phone while you're at school so that's a good one as well okay um so here we could also ask like why would we allow teenagers to use phones at schools and that might be a good idea as well because there are reasons let's just ask that question right now right so here what we're doing is we're playing the devil's advocate which is an expression that means thinking of the counter argument there's value in that okay has everybody heard this expression devil's advocate devil's advocate means that you think of the opposite argument to what you agree with just so you can get more ideas and so you can see both sides of the picture okay so uh it's always a good idea to take a moment and play the devil's advocate okay uh we often if we put this into a sentence we'll often say uh play the devil's advocate okay so you play the devil's advocate all right okay um so natalie says in case of emergency uh some of you said to look up information yeah yeah so those could be useful all right absolutely i agree with that now um in this ielts task to essay should i write about both agree and disagree so is it a good idea to write i partially agree once you think about this so is this a good idea in your ielts exam for this essay question to write i partially agree kyber says no chineal says not roger agrees no charman says nope only one side um yeah so i'm getting a lot of no's and that's the correct answer okay so definitely not why not right i mean that's a good question right like why shouldn't i just write about both sides i can make a really great essay in body paragraph one i can write about well some people agree because of this and this other people agree the reason i would definitely not do that here is because it is unrealistic okay um so at the end of the day you can only do one you can't do both so you either don't allow students to use phones at schools or you do allow them if you try to partially restrict students say well students you can use your phones but only for research and emergencies believe me when i say that it will not work okay that will be the end of time before that would happen so that will not work also the essay asks do you agree or disagree not both okay so the question itself is do you agree or disagree not do you agree and disagree why all right so it doesn't say discuss both sides okay so you really want to just choose one and in this case choosing the easier side which is agree that cell phones should be banned is the easy path so choose the easy path even sometimes if you don't agree with it for the ielts choose the easy path so you can get the maximum score okay all right so the easy path or the easy essay is i agree that phones should not be allowed at schools for teens okay and then now using this planning and of course uh all of this planning that we're doing i know some of you are always saying that uh oh but this takes forever to start my essay well no you should only take about three minutes in the official ielts exam to come to this point as long as all of this information is clear your planning should be quite fast you're only writing down the paraphrase for the question and you're only writing down the points for the why question okay so uh here uh what you want to do now is write your thesis statement okay so write a clear thesis statement and in the computer-based exam it's really easy because once you write your thesis you can just write your hook and your background above your thesis and it'll be just fine okay so you want to get to this point uh in three minutes or less okay okay so write your thesis and finish your planning within the first five minutes write a clear thesis make it a direct thesis if you're going for a uh high band score you have to have a direct thesis okay use the question and by using the question i mean i would start with um the essay is asking for your personal opinion okay so it's asking do you agree because it's subjective it's subjective to the author okay so here you can use the first person voice you can use i mean i because this question is subjective to you the author so i am in complete agreement that smartphones should be and maybe not even smartphones because if some clever uh student says i don't have a smartphone i just have a cell phone sure but you can still text so i'm incomplete that would really bring the popularity of regular little flip phones back into the school system right so i'm in complete agreement that mobile phones and now there will be no smart alec teenager going but mine's not a smartphone see it's just a regular little button phone um so teenagers are quick and clever their life goal is to evade adults rules in society's role so not always i shouldn't generalize but a lot of teens i'm in complete agreement that mobile phones should be banned from schools because and then you have point one and point two and point one and point two become your body paragraphs okay and i can see some of you already have the thesis going so here we go let's take a look at some thesis statements okay yeah helmond absolutely so homan says if it's all clear then we can write a good essay in 30 minutes yeah and if you're not clear if you don't have specific ideas then it will be difficult to write a good essay at all rajvir says for the thesis i agree that cell phones should be banned for teens at school as it encourages focus on studies and prevents delinquent behavior beautiful thesis rajvir that is a ban nine level thesis for a couple of reasons not only do you have great content but you also have great perspective okay does everybody see that so rajvir doesn't say it's distracting but rather than the negative of distracting he's going with the positive argument or the positive outcome which is allowing focus on studies and that's a really good perspective when we want to develop society ideally we want to emphasize positive results not necessarily the negative outcomes so that's a really good thesis regiver because of content and perspective very good that's what you need to do in college and university those are the kinds of ideas that get you the a's and a pluses okay gineal says i concur with the statement that banning the use of smartphones for minors in educational institutions is important because it's less distracting and harmful yeah daniel i made a little bit of correction to have parallel grammar but you're on the right path and you're similarly approaching it in a great way just like rajvir so sami writes i strongly agree with the statement that teens should not be allowed mobile phones in schools because it not only distracts students but also is often misused by them okay sammy not bad a little bit of uh grammatical um [Music] awkwardness at the at the end there kyber writes i'm in complete agreement that the permission to use smartphones for adolescents should not be given as it leads to distraction and illness yeah instead of illness kyber i would write misuse okay all right like notive yt says i'm i am agree that students don't need to use mobile phone plus during go home they can call their parents to pick them up uh very loose ideas okay it's confusing what you want to really say in your essay later on all right sharman writes well i completely agree with this statement that smartphones should be banned from schools as it plays a major role to distract pupils and involves them in many delinquent activities charmin too wordy too many words unnecessarily complex okay um you're not speaking you're writing don't use a leading expression like well okay we use that in speech well i completely disagree but we wouldn't write well i completely agree unless i'm writing a narrative essay which is not the case here okay all right uh eric writes i agree that mobile phones should be prohibited in on school premises as this would remove distractions from students which boosts their academic and personal development okay eric a little bit uh unclear on some of your direction there careful okay so drawing on what you have written you can you have now enabled me to write a really good thesis statement so i'm in complete agreement that mobile phones should be banned from school premises because this leads to better academic performance and social interaction okay so uh i might not have come up with something this good if we weren't working together but that's why these classes are great it's because we can come up with super high quality thesis statements and this won't just be useful for your ielts but it'll be really useful for later life for school for work as well so i'm in complete agreement that mobile phones should be banned from school premises because this leads to better academic performance and social interaction basically here less distraction and less bullying right does everybody see that so this is point one body paragraph 1.2 body paragraph 2 okay and it's clean and concise it's two lines and two words so it's not very long but it's very accurate to the question it creates a very strong argument okay all right now i'm ready to write my introductory paragraph and the introductory paragraph has three components it has a hook it has a background and it has a thesis and i don't care who says what even the ielts uh good essays persuasive essays have this structure for the introduction this is what you should do this is what you should practice this is what your professors will need from you in college and university okay all right uh by via if you don't know anything about the topic then you are in big trouble um but you should know because the topics are usually general where everybody should be able to give some information on it okay so the hook should be something simple um and it should include the topic it should be 8 to 12 words no mistakes because it looks horrible to start the essay with grammar or spelling mistakes okay so let's write a hook a hook is an interesting statement including the topic that catches the attention of your reader andrei writes mobile phones could be dangerous for teenagers um yeah okay i think that works andre it catches my attention now remember andre that the topic is actually uh permitting uh mobile phones at school okay assad beck says use of mobile phones on school premises has become a major issue yeah i love it okay so yeah okay i think that's great it's a really good one so hook simple catches the attention of my reader and introduces my topic use of mobile phones by adolescence on school premises has become a major issue 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 pretty good okay so clear concise accurate no grammatical spelling mistakes starting my essay strong introducing my topic catching my reader's attention that's my goal here all right now it's the background okay definition and importance okay so definition means what does it mean using mobile phones on school premises and why is it important okay we can do that in one sentence if not we can do it in two sentences so write the background what are we talking about what is adolescent use of mobile phones on school premises actually mean okay and i see some other really good hooks in the chat that's great okay so what does it mean all right so all right so this is what i would write here for the background okay visualize it um i'm not getting stuck here because i already did all my planning so i know what this information is and this is where playing that devil's advocate has come in useful because i can kind of shed light on why there's a bit of a debate here why some people might say hey phones are okay so teens use their phones while at school to not only research information but also to chat with each other and for entertainment it is important to evaluate the impact of this on their school performance because hey let's not forget why are we at school we're there to learn right okay um so party time is outside of school okay kyber writes teenagers use their smartphones for various purposes such as googling information and interacting with each other yeah kyber exactly now the importance yeah very good kyber that's band nine for background kyber very good okay all right uh priyanhush says the use of mobile phones has become an element of distraction this issue should be brushed off for better academic performance priyanush that's your thesis combined with an opinion so it's not bad it's maybe a little bit um quick for your reader okay and now all i do of course in the computer-based exam it's just a matter of writing your hook and background above your thesis but here i just put in my uh thesis and i'm done okay so this is my introductory paragraph this is my path to a possible band 9 in task 2. let me read it make sure that it makes sense make sure that i haven't made any critical mistakes okay all right um so uh use of mobile phones by adolescence on school premises has become a major issue so this is why i review teens use their phones while at school to not only research information but also to chat with each other and for entertainment it is important to evaluate the impact of this on their school performance i am in complete agreement that mobile phones should be banned from school premises because this leads to better academic performance and social interaction all right i'm feeling great about that introduction and i have a very clear path for the rest of my essay um so i see some other good background components in the chat as well it's very good okay sami says controlling teens mobile phone use in school premises is a big challenge because adolescents use phones for googling and chatting with uh friends during school time yeah sammy that's okay for your background absolutely all right assad back writes utilizations of phones during lessons not only distracts students but the whole classroom as well teens would rather watch movies and chit chat with each other that's your thesis i said beck and it's a bit of explanation so you're not actually writing your introduction you're more into your body paragraph okay careful with that don't write a body paragraph for um an introduction okay everyone so uh that's our introduction and that's where we will continue from tomorrow with the body paragraphs and the conclusions so think about how you can develop these points really well sorry these points really well for tomorrow's class and i'll be back tomorrow at the same time as today's class to explain and work together with you to complete this example for body paragraph 1 body paragraph 2 and the conclusion and i'm looking forward to seeing all of you here tomorrow for that um to watch more lessons with me to get hd videos again go a help dot com for academic outs and glthelp.com for general outs we are world leaders when it comes to alex exam preparation uh you can use the code r4tyj to get a 20 discount off of our premium package general outs website looks like this click that big red button to join us there the academic one looks like this click that big red button to join us there it's a one-time payment for lifetime access i hope you enjoyed this class and i wish all of you a fantastic rest of your day if it's late in your country sweet dreams much love to all of you see you tomorrow i'm adrian signing out from beautiful victoria here on the west coast of canada bye for now i

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Id: wehi7PEwtD0

Length: 52min 44sec (3164 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 03 2021