IELTS Live - Writing Task 2 - Body and Conclusion Paragraphs

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hi students and welcome to today's live IELTS class my name is Adrienne and I am streaming to you from beautiful Budapest in the Carpathian Basin I hope everybody has had a healthy and productive week and is looking forward to a good weekend students in this class we are looking at tasks to writing advantages and disadvantages essay specifically we are focusing on the body paragraphs and the conclusion this is continuing from yesterday's class this is a members chat class of course everybody is welcome to watch but only members can use the chat there will be an all chat class coming up in 90 minutes where we will focus on the listening section specifically parts 3 & 4 continuing from yesterday hi Abhishek hi muck soot Pavan and bahut baaaad good to see members in the class while we wait for some more of your peers this lesson is presented to you by AE help comm for academic IELTS help visit us there we have mock speaking interview practice writing practice original prep exams videos lots more for general IELTS check us out at GI e LTS help calm that's general IELTS help calm I'll quickly show you these websites and then we'll get on with the lesson this is the academic here with the blue background click that big red button to join there and this is the general version here with the green background click that big red button to join there hi al aleksander hi pooja hi dip nice to see a couple of our newer members in here as well hi Tito good to see our regular members also joining in students if you have questions about the exam or our products just send me an email Adrienne at AE help calm now let's look at the question that we're dealing with I think many of you or most of you were in this class yesterday but we'll just quickly reread the question so we get focused and then we'll start in on the remainder of the essay so read with me students IELTS task 2 writing you should spend about 40 minutes on this task in many countries people would rather rent a house instead of buying one describe the advantages and disadvantages of both and so we did some good critical thinking and we realized that really the main difference between these two is that renting a home is low risk but also lower gain less control and buying a house gives you more control over the property it's higher gain but at the same time it's higher risk that's it in a nutshell so that's the advantages and disadvantages do you agree members that if we had to really concisely summarize advantages disadvantages of these two again renting a home low risk but also low gain losing more money less control owning a home more control more risk but also more gain right ok looks like everybody is on the same page as I am that's fantastic so we got into the introduction we made it all the way there now here's the original thesis students that we came up with okay so this was the original thesis renting a home his lower risk and provides flexibility while giving less personal control and monetary gain however owning a home gives greater control but also greater risk okay now one of the most important parts of the essay members that you should always rework rethink go back rewrite and master and make better is the thesis okay so for those of you who are masters or PhD students anybody a masters or PhD student among our members anybody working towards studying their masters or PhD I think a lot of you who are university students you know that in your masters in PhD your start when you meet with your professor your supervisor is to come up with your thesis ok the thesis is your argument or idea that you come up with that you're going to prove or disprove in your graduate studies so Bumi says I've completed my masters in science so boomy knows what I'm talking about the the thesis statement and I'm sure a lot of you that are doing these graduate studies you know I have a thesis statement of my masters so what I am arguing ok I aku welcome to our group of members so the thesis is the pivot point of your essay so we came up with that thesis statement but I actually reworked the thesis a little bit for this introduction today so take a look at what the introduction looks like now so this is our introduction here the home is a basic need of all human beings that's the hook from yesterday and then the background a residence provides people with shelter from the elements and a place to rest arguably the money spent by an individual on their home whether renting or buying is one the highest expenses incurred during a lifetime renting a home now here's my new thesis okay so pay attention here members students because I rework this a bit so renting a home is lower risk and provides flexibility while giving less personal control and monetary gain until here it's the same here's where the difference is while owning a home can be riskier it can also provide more control and profit so here I changed it a little bit can you tell me members what the main changes that I did from my first thesis yesterday to this one so have a look here again this is however owning a home gives greater control but also greater risk and then here I changed it to while owning a home can be riskier it can also provide more control and profit okay so how how is this different okay yeah come on very good so Hemant said I highlighted risks first absolutely so in the original thesis okay if we look at it carefully very good huh Mons you got it okay so I did the risks first so notice that the original thesis here is advantage disadvantage okay and then that's body one which we will start writing in a moment and then for body to I did advantage Kay gives greater control and then disadvantage okay so advantage disadvantage advantage disadvantage that's for body two but what I decided after looking at it before classes I don't want to write the essay that way okay I want a different flow for my essay now it's your logic to decide what you want to do but your thesis does give the structure to your writing as well so what I did differently for my second version of this thesis is instead of doing advantage disadvantage advantage disadvantage I did advantage disadvantage and then disadvantage advantage right as home on very nicely pointed that out why because this I feel will give more coherence and more cohesion to my essay does that make sense students are going advantage disadvantage disadvantage advantage will be more cohesive will have a better flow in my opinion okay for the essay alright does that make sense so remember for students who are looking for that band 7 8 9 on the IELTS exam which are great scores you have to think about this level of literature of authorship okay you have to go beyond just thinking I need to use good English you actually have to think about I need to have good writing especially for the academic students okay so you have to think at this level alright I think one of the biggest problems with a lot of IELTS materials and lessons out there is they don't emphasize enough especially for academic students the need to go to this level of thinking for the IELTS exam okay especially for those high band scores and in my experience the IELTS has become more challenging in recent years than 10 20 years ago when I first started teaching so it's harder to get a band 8 today than it was 15 years ago ok so keep that in mind alright so let's do this so let's get into a body paragraph writing what's the first sentence of a body paragraph okay so we'll start going with body paragraph 1 and the first sentence of the body paragraph is always hopefully some of you will tell me this there's always the topic sentence ok it explains what the paragraph is about or in another way it is a deeper definition of your first thesis point ok yeah exactly very good yeah I'll be shek great come on nice muck suit booming fantastic yeah it's your topic sentence ok so your topic sentence explains what your paragraph is going to be about we already have an idea as the reader when you have a good thesis but here you're going to give it a bit more depth ok all right so Elena says renting a home is a common phenomenon these days these days is two words Elena it's not like nowadays okay it's two words Elena that's a little bit maybe too general okay for a body paragraph you want to be a bit more detailed than that okay and fered of says the topic sentence here should be in connection to the advantages of renting a home right so our body paragraph one is about renting a home right because this is our first body paragraph here so renting a home is lower risk and provides flexibility okay so create a body paragraph topic sentence that gives a deeper idea of this statement to your reader and again students you you don't need to have a ton of English to do this I mean you definitely need a strong intermediate level but you don't need to think well I need to be like a native speaker to do this in college no not necessarily you can go into deeper definitions using simpler language okay so borrowed says there are several pros of renting a house including lower risk as well as flexibility along with cons like minor personal control and monetary profit barod if that topic sentence is more of just a repeat of the thesis so try to think about this idea from a different perspective okay so remember what I said students what you want to do here is you don't want to repeat the same idea so looking at the Apple from the same direction but you want to really turn it and look at it from a different angle okay the Apple being the idea here of course who just says renting these days although cheaper would seem expensive in the long run puja that topic sentence does not seem to be directly related to the thesis key point okay teto says renting a home is the primary need for workers and people while it has a lot of pros and cons it's not a good topic sentence detail because again you're just repeating the the thesis ok so practice this students get into a little bit more detail so muck suit says there are considerable advantages of renting a home these days like what muck suit you're on to a good start you just need to give a little bit more to that sentence mm-hmm okay Bhoomi much better so Bhoomi says being a tenant is beneficial because it's both easy to change locations and there's a lower risk of losing money now we're getting into the topic sentences okay so so roshni Quinta says in most countries individuals renting a property makes sense while traveling and also becomes lower risk for losing money okay so roshni yep that's better all right I can see some of you are now turning those thoughts and wheels excuse me I hope that wasn't too loud Abhishek says nowadays mostly working people prefer to rent a home due to lots of traveling or relocating for work yeah okay I'll be checked that's possible yeah you're you're in the right direction as well Hemant says although renting a residence could compromise once personal liberty it has lower risk index and more flexibility to move to new locations that's much better amount okay so good now you're thinking in the right direction okay so renting a home is lower liability for tenants and also provides the ability to relocate for work and school how about that for a topic sentence okay so it's nice because here we can see this kind of in one I shot ok so again more detail think about it this way students so when your thesis statement says renting a home is lower risk and provides flexibility think about this question okay so what do you mean it's lower risk okay so what do you mean it's or it is lower-risk and what do you mean flexibility so a good strategy came for quality writing is continuously having a self dialogue of asking and answering good questions as if you are both the writer and the reader okay and again think about the audience as an alien so here basically what you're doing is you're going okay my thesis statement is renting a home is lower risk and it's more flexible and then the reader goes oh okay I hear that so what do you mean it's less risky and what do you mean it's flexible well what I mean by that is you're not spending as much money and losing as much money as if you buy a house and if you need to you can move to another residence for work or for school okay so let's put that into a topic sentence and an explanation does that make sense students what I'm saying by that okay trying to get the light writing here my apologies for doing that to you I just want to make sure that you can see the board clearly okay thank you MUC Sood alright so here we go so the topic sentence is renting a home is lower liability for tenants okay that already starts to indicate the concept of greater liability for homeowners and also provides the ability to relocate for work and school okay all right so now comes the explanation okay so explain that to me okay so again when you're thinking about the explanation do this kind of question and answer concept in your mind once more okay so go okay so renting a home is lower liability for the tenant and also gives more of an ability to relocate for work and school hmm well what do you mean by that so like how does a tenant have less liability and what do you mean that they can move around more like why are they able to do that so now think about that question and give me a good explanation okay I'm going to give you a second head start here before I start writing so why so if you you can also put yourself in this situation so imagine you're a tenant you're a renter why can you move more easily why do you have less liability okay give me a nice explanation for that hopefully you come up with the same idea that I came up with I think most of us have knowledge of both renting and owning a home in our lifetimes by the time we become adults so what's the explanation for that why can a tenant move around easier and have lower liability okay I'm gonna start typing try not to take a peek until you have your own idea all right so all right let's see what you came up with I see lots of explanation explanations coming up so Helen says normally rent cost is manageable and moving is much easier as we do not have many things to pack okay come on two really important points of course one don't use contractions especially in the academic writing so do not okay and don't use the word things himand okay don't use the word things Rushdie says moreover it makes no sense to buy a property in a city where a person is not going to spend a certain period of time roshni you're approaching it from the negative side which means that you're thinking about the house or owning a house instead of renting here's another really really important tip students give me one moment I'm gonna give us a little bit more like control I was hoping I could keep the windows open in my studio but I guess that's not going to work so just gonna do a bit more lighting control here for us just give me one second and then I won't have to play around with this all right there we go now that'll be stable all right mm-hmm so here's a really important tip students okay this is coming from the art of rhetoric which means the art of argument and if you ever study philosophy this is one of the beautiful gems or high-value knowledge that you learn from philosophy okay I'm going to put this up here above the thesis there's logic to that so when you give an explanation so again this is writing and this is logic strategy as well or strategy of argument strategy for good arguments okay and you should use this in other parts your life is well not just on the IELTS believe me it will bring you more success okay so in most cases you should always argue and explain from the positive or pro side and let's call it positive side for now explain from the positive side of the idea and not the contra okay so what I mean by this is when you're telling me why I should buy car a so imagine that I have for example car a I'm going a little bit into a different direction here and you have car B ok and you want to sell me car a ok the logic here is that if you want to sell me car a don't sell me car a by telling me that car be as bad ok because a clever person will say well you're telling me that car B is bad so I should buy car a but that is logically flawed because you haven't told me why I should buy car a car a can still be bad also so what I want to know is why is car a good okay it's very common for people to make this logical mistake in their arguments so they'll say something like well you should rent a home because then you don't have to move a lot of stuff like if you own a home okay but that's like saying that car B is bad which is owning in another way and car a is good because it's renting but that's a flaw in the argument does that make sense students what I'm saying there so when you have a paragraph and your paragraph is discussing the advantages of renting a home then make sure that you're discussing the advantage of renting a home okay only after can you make the comparison from the negative side which will come anyway so keep that in mind okay it's a very very again a very important point for good coherence good cohesion in writing okay especially for university students who are going to study for their bachelor's master's and PhD I think most masters and PhD students know this because it's one of the key points they'll teach you in university okay so body one here we go I'm going to read a few more of your explanations let's see what else is there so Bhumi says a person who is renting a house does not need to invest thousands of dollars in purchasing so they can easily change their location to their school or work area more conveniently okay Bhoomi that's in the right direction yep muck suit says millions of individuals work abroad and renting is the best way for them to live this may this makes returning to their hometown easier okay this makes muck suit this makes returning to their hometown easier Charlie says when a person rents a home they spend less money for their shelter so if for some reason the tenant has to move to another place he or she can easily do that because they did not pay a large down payment yeah and of course when you're moving because you own a house you have to actually sell that house right takes time to sell the house alright neha says tenants can move around to no new locations at their ease by giving one month notice to the owners and can move to location of their choice which is near their work place Neha that's the best explanation I've read so far good job see it's not so terribly bad when you start to wrap your head around it good one me how you get my first thumbs up of the day pooja says renting is beneficial especially when a company gives rent allowance pooja careful that's a good idea but it's not the idea that we're discussing a company giving rent allowance that's a whole nother argument okay you can't just jump idea to idea because then the SA falls apart and becomes very confusing for your reader alright so this is my explanation here tenancy contracts usually bind people to a monthly payment of a few hundred or a few thousand dollars and a one month notice for moving out notice how one month because it becomes an adjective I used the - it's hyphenated so when you create an adjective like this you need to use the hyphen so one month notice for moving out this enables tenants to not worry about large mortgage loans as well as moving to another house or apartment after four to five weeks okay so enables means makes it possible for them not to worry about their mortgage loans which of course we'll go into later with a house and then being able to move in four or five weeks it's very difficult to move in such a short time if you own a home usually okay so alright now notice how this essay is third-person we're not using i me my so here we want to give a nice quick example okay so the example should be something from the real world that we can clearly and easily see and it's easy for the reader to go aha that's it so again question an answer right students so here's the author that's me going okay this enables tenants to not worry about large loans and lets them move after four or five weeks okay so now the reader the other me says great can you give me an example of this happening in many nations around the world and then I go yeah sure so here's my example right yours as well so okay so there's my example millions of students around the world pay between 300 to 500 US dollars for monthly rent and once their semester is over they move back to their hometown this is clearly a benefit of renting okay that's my real-world example it's visible now and I can go on to the disadvantages okay a couple of commas here and that's it all right let's see what you've come up with so Abhishek says renting properties or lower risk and more flexible because the person has to pay less rental money compared to owning a property and notify the owners one month before is so that they can relocate due to work in school okay that's your explanation I'll be checked that's not bad all right for Dobbs now there's an example so for Dobbs says like most Americans prefer to pay a rent of about a thousand to two thousand dollars a month in order to get mortgages they do not desire to be under pressure for mortgage payments and lose their ability to move around yeah for Dobbs I think you're on the right track the repetition of the word mortgage is a bit awkward unclear so you want to clean it up but your thinking is correct Rajveer says according to new york times seventy percent of the workforce in the u.s. prefers to rent a home as they can easily switch their residence as per their work locations which are often in several different cities around the country like San Francisco Los Angeles and Seattle sure Rajveer that's good okay now students another quick tip here all right I'm gonna put this above introduction be here students please stop using this leading expression according to the New York Times okay stop using according to the New York Times okay why am I telling you to stop doing that so why should you stop using according to the New York Times please tell me that it's very important although it makes sense I never want to see that again for an example why am I telling you that well you give me the answer I'll read a couple more of the examples Elena says it is not possible for students to spend millions of dollars to stay while studying in a foreign country therefore renting a home with a 500 to 700 dollar monthly budget is a much more flexible and better option Elena good I made a couple of adjustments there to make it sound better but it's good kay Hamas says as first study by Asian housing index 90% of students rent apartments from a range of 500 to 750 dollars a month and once once they are through with their studies they wait vacate with one month notice very nice example himand good roshni says it's because it's not believable nope that's not at roshni bumi says because it's a legal news site um no that's not it either Bumi it's because it's way too cookie cutter and the eyelets examiners they won't tell you this but they're tired of that redundant phrase okay so please stop using this according to the New York Times it's like every third essay has an example starting with according to the New York Times imagine if you're an IELTS examiner and you're reading according to the New York Times 300 times a day and you know it's just being made up but it leaves me a little bit original so students if you really want to refer to a newspaper be a little bit more clever so according to the New Delhi Sun according to the Berlin Journal according to the Chicago News okay so not the New York Times you can make up the name of the newspaper just make up something really different from the New York Times okay does that is that clear everybody's got me on that okay so be creative if you have to make up a source be creative okay according to science journal Taipei okay so just make up something different all right be original IELTS examiner's like to see original sentencing so thank you for sharing that I think it was reg veer because it was a good point I've just seen it too much and I want to say that anyway okay all right so definitely we're not done yet okay we want to get into the negatives now right so I'm going to reread this and then we're going to write the negative side now the alts exam you have 40 minutes so you have to know how much you can do if you can get to 300 350 words great if not then be concise okay so here we go renting a home is lower liability for tenants and also provides the ability to relocate for work in school tenancy contracts usually bind people to a monthly payment of a few hundred to a few thousand dollars and a one month notice for moving out this enables tenants to not worry about large mortgage loans as well as moving to another house or apartment after four to five weeks millions of students around the world pay between three to five hundred u.s. dollar for monthly rent and once their semester is over they move back to their hometown this is a clear benefit of renting came on the other hand okay so here just write the negative students write the negative I'm going to read your negative and then we'll do a little comparison I'll give you some feedback okay so on the other hand all right so there is my negative on the other hand tenants cannot make significant changes in their home without the permission of landlords and the money they pay each month is not invested students renting their apartments cannot suddenly decide to renovate their bathroom nor can they ever get back the 500 USD paid to the landlord these are the negatives of leasing okay using that synonym all right beraud says for instance when my brother got a new job in Dallas he relocated from his rented house in New York to Dallas without much hassle by giving just 15 days notice Barad that's okay but you're using a first-person example and this essay is a third-person why do we know that beraud because the thesis does not use I me or my okay all right Charlie sense says the disadvantage of renting a home is that the tenant can't change the room decoration according to their desire they need permission of the landlord and also the landlord can e evict it's not evacuate charlie its evict all right Evi see t evict the tenant with a two month notice yeah okay good charlie that's a good one all right Rajveer says on the other hand renting a home gives little freedom to people to do any modifications in their residence and they do not get any return on their monthly rent paid to the landlord exactly Rajveer very nice okay now everybody is on a roll a Mont tenancy comes with more rigid rules oriented lifestyle which compromises the freedoms to alter living space a Mont big no-no okay no your and you alright I own my home so you can't talk directly to me you can't talk directly to your reader himand do not use you or your that second person author voice we usually only use that in narrative story writing or instructional right okay when we're giving instructions on how to build a house or how to cook a meal you should put in the eggs first okay but not in this kind of essay all right at home on so no you know you're all right for doves mmm however attendants may not be able to rebuild or renovate structures and of course they are not able to acquire assets in the long term very nice for dogs just one quick tip for dogs don't double up your words so rebuild or renovate it's very similar just one OK tenants are not able to renovate structures and of course they are not able to acquire assets in the long term concise for dogs work towards that concise don't double up your words okay all right nicely done kay Pavan on the other hand tenants are restricted to making any changes without consent of landlords students cannot modify any structures according to their wishes Pavan just name it right students cannot modify their bedrooms and bathrooms as they wish without being evicted for damaging the property right Pavan okay good all right so I realized that this is a fairly long paragraph and of course I'm giving you a ban 9 example here so this is gonna be a pretty long essay in that 40 minutes again you have to write the essay according to your ability so how fast are able to write the IELTS does give you enough paper to write a 350 word essay okay for those of you who are thinking about the TOEFL the task 2 essay is a minimum 300 words also in 40 minutes okay so the minimum word count for TOEFL is 50 more than for IELTS a lot of students when they see these long rest days they go but Sir you went over 250 words yeah absolutely the minimum is 250 okay keep that in mind mm-hmm so alright good job Elena where's the negative I'll be Scheck dip but you still with us I want to see some writing don't worry if you're not sure about it yet Neha I liked your previous sentences so keep going okay want to see more all right so now students of course we have body paragraph two and then the conclusion okay now I unfortunately I don't have time for that I'd rather give you feedback on your writing then then rush through these parts Lina says but Sir I wrote this down previously okay Elena let me have a look I'm gonna catch it let me know ah there we go Elena right you are my bad so Elena says however renting a home comes with less flexibility in terms of changing decoration and privacy Elena careful with your verb modification changing decoration changing privacy changing decoration makes sense Elena but changing privacy doesn't okay so you have to clarify that more all right so careful if you have a verb that it makes sense for both of your nouns if you don't have another verb it's like saying eating a sandwich and orange juice you can't do that you have to say eating a sandwich and drinking an orange juice because eating does not modify orange juice accurately so careful with that kind of mistake Elena that's a coherence mistake and those ones cost you banned scores okay all right so body to and the conclusion members I will leave that for you and of course don't panic don't worry I will complete this essay and put it up on the YouTube community board as I have done with the previous essays okay so I think you have a really good idea of what you need to do now so for body paragraph two one really important point actually let me ask you this what will you start body paragraph two with okay so this is my final question for this class what do you start body paragraph two yes you can send it Elena absolutely for a band score estimate okay yeah dr. Krishna that would be a better verb but you have to make sure it's the right grammar too okay so what do I start body paragraph two with yeah Bhoomi very good so Bumi's paying attention we me says the negative side of owning a house right blew me negative side of owning a house Charlie sense as the disadvantage of owning a house then the advantage okay very good I'll be Scheck not the advantage we start with the disadvantage remember the thesis remember the thesis exactly roshni very good roshni this advantage of how owning a house is riskier okay nice Neha good all right members rock and roll you're doing fantastic keep that up and you're going to do well by the way students members learning these techniques you're not just going to get a great I'll smart but when you get into your university classes wherever you're going you follow these strategies and I promise you you're gonna be really doing well they're also okay so good job everyone good job I'm really proud of all of you alright fantastic okay so to all of our viewers stay tuned coming up in about thirty minutes will do listening parts three and four some practice some strategy and if you like these lessons and you want some high definition videos pre-recorded with no ads where you get your complete essays and all the gems of strategies for academic IELTS check us out at AE help.com join our premium package there and gee IELTS helped calm for the general you're very welcome roshni welcome muck suit and everybody else hopefully I'll see you shortly bye for now much love from the heart of Europe Budapest
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Channel: AcademicEnglishHelp
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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies
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Length: 50min 29sec (3029 seconds)
Published: Fri Apr 17 2020
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