Write an IELTS Band 9 Writing Task 2 Essay with an ex-examiner!

hello i'm alex from e2 language in this video i'm gonna take you step by step through an ielts writing task two before we get started i just want you to imagine that you were preparing for a marathon a running race how would you do it would you listen to people talking about a marathon would you watch youtube videos like this with somebody talking about how to run a marathon or would you start running would you practice running that's what i want you to keep in mind in this video there are lots of opportunities for you to answer questions to think and of course to write so i really want you to do it if you are preparing for the paper delivered test stop now grab a pen and paper i want you to write by hand if you're getting ready for the computer delivered test you're going to type let's get into it ielts writing task 2 write with me now we're going to go through four steps basically in this class and these are the same four steps that we use in all of our methods videos on e2language.com and in our live classes as well and at the end of this session actually throughout the session you are going to write with me and at the end i'm going to show you the full sample essay and i want you to edit it okay so let's get started step one is to analyze and plan this is the case for every topic in task two step two we're going to follow the structure i'll show you the basic outline today step three we write with the criteria in mind and step four right at the end check your work so in the real test you've got to think about timing of course so this is what we would recommend about four minutes to analyze and plan when you first see your topic 32 minutes this is the writing state so the intro the body is the conclusion and another four minutes at the end to check your work in today's lesson don't worry about the time i'll put time is on the screen but in this case i really just want you to practice writing don't worry too much about writing with time pressure if you want to write with time pressure come along to our live classes we do it all the time let's analyze and plan here is today's task and this task was sent in by one of our students a recent topic from a real ielts test let's check it out now we've got our instructions here at the top you should spend about 40 minutes on this task instructions here at the bottom give reasons for your answer include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience write at least 250 words those instructions are the same on every task here in the box is the different part it says some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones is this a positive development or a negative one now before you start writing we need to look at this question we need to analyze it this is going to be crucial on test day as well if you race ahead and start writing you might miss something critical so just a few seconds on this now the first one here it says some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones restricted the use of mobile phones my first question that i'm asking myself why and my question to you why have schools restricted the use of mobile phones think about it or you can type it into the comments below and my second question is how how have schools restricted the use of mobile phones think about your country if you have kids or you know kids what are the rules about mobile phones at their school are they completely banned from the campus are they allowed in some areas and not other areas are they off limits inside the classroom so how does this play out in your country and in your experience so this first question is just a given some schools have rules about mobile phones okay but here is our actual question is this a positive development or a negative one and here you need to think about your own opinion on this matter a question like this to me the easiest option to go with is that yeah it's positive but before i launch into that i've got to make sure i've got usually two good reasons why is it a positive development on the other hand you may think it's bad you might think that there should be no rules about mobile phones can you back that up with some strong reasons for me i'm going to say that it's a positive development okay and i'm thinking here about myself as a child in a classroom i'm thinking about children i know in classrooms i'm thinking about myself as a teacher or my friends as teachers how do restrictions in schools on mobile phones improve life for them so to me it seems like it's a positive thing okay and one reason why is it a positive development i think because less phone access improves learning so this is my main point and this is going to be my first body paragraph this is the the main idea of that whole paragraph schools have restricted mobile phones and this is a positive development because less phone access is good for learning that's not enough now i have to really develop that idea i'm aiming at band 8 band 9 and part of the criteria is about idea development so i run through a series of questions in order to flesh out my paragraph so i'm thinking here explain example effect link you can probably spot here i'm using a single idea paragraph if you want to know more about the paragraph structures that we use at e2 and that we find really successful that's in our writing task 2 section of the course on e2 language but basically i want to ask myself these questions okay so my point is that less phone access improves learning how does that happen how does not having access to phones improve learning think about that for a moment i would say because there are fewer distractions in the classroom so fewer distractions less urge to grab my phone less buzzing and beeping happening next thing i want to include in my paragraph is an example so here i'm thinking prove it how can i make the examiner see and feel what i'm talking about so here i'm going to paint a picture of a student or students in a classroom and that constant urge they have and the constant urge that we have as adults to check our phones and obviously all of this means less attention is given to the teacher and also the teacher has less time to give to the students because they're checking everybody's phones going off my next point here is the effect so now i'm really stretching out my idea okay so less phone access can improve learning how fewer distractions imagine kids in class with their phone beeping and buzzing how annoying that is then what's the effect so what so what if the kids are distracted by their phones what impact does that have on them on the rest of the class on their future so i'm going to say takes attention from the lesson this also reduces their attention span both these things can have long term impacts so this effect part is a real stretching of my idea thinking band 8 band 9 fully developed ideas lastly i finished my paragraph with a link so this is a link forward to the next paragraph i might start to introduce the next idea or a link back to the topic and really here i'm asking myself am i still on topic sometimes at the end of your paragraph you might notice that actually you've drifted really far away from the question so use this sentence to just check that you haven't gone too far and hopefully just to kind of tie up that paragraph so for me i'm going to basically say so banning phones in the classroom is positive so i'm just coming back to that main point and this is the skeleton of my body one paragraph okay so that's just one paragraph introduction's already done now i need my second body paragraph okay and here this is where i want you to have a think about another reason so i've said one phone restrictions are good because it helps learning what is another reason why limiting phone use at school could be positive so think here maybe outside the classroom in the playground or in the group areas of a school why would not having your phone be beneficial something that i think is that less phone use improves well-being for students so health and also the social aspect of being at school can be improved when students don't have full access to their phones now for this same point i want to go through those questions and that extension of my idea but i want you to do this one so you can use my idea that less phone use improves well-being or you can use your own idea totally fine and i want you to take 90 seconds now to go through all of those steps all of those questions to develop your idea here we go [Music] so probably seems like that took a long time but on test day you'll do all of that within four minutes no problem and it's a very important step don't skip it so after that we are ready to follow the structure and begin writing now this is the essay structure that i'm going to recommend there are many different ways to structure your essays basically it comes down to an introduction and a conclusion and what goes in between depends on the question and depends on your answer but basically you're going to choose either single idea paragraphs or double idea paragraphs or a mixture of the two and you're going to have a minimum of two body paragraphs minimum of two but sometimes you'll have three you may even have four for my one today i'm going to use two body paragraphs my intro follows these three steps background statement a specific statement and the answer to the question body one i'm going to give my first reason and body two my second reason why it's positive development and then i'll finish with the conclusion so with all that in mind now we are ready to write and we're going to write with our criteria in mind as always these are the four criteria task response coherence cohesion lexical resource grammatical range and accuracy just before we go on i want you to take 60 seconds and type or write down or just think about all of the features of these four criteria can you remember what do you have to do to score well in task response what do you have to do to score well in coherence and cohesion so just take a moment and remind yourself of those important things if you're a little bit lost you don't know what the criteria are or how you can meet them check out our video on the writing task 2 criteria here on youtube or we have an even better one over in our course on e2language.com take a minute now to see what you can remember [Music] how did you go here are some of the basic things that you should keep in mind i won't go through them in detail but pause or take a screenshot if you want and make sure you write with all of these things on your mind so i've got my plan i've analyzed the question i know how i'm going to structure my essay i know how to structure a single idea paragraph and a double idea paragraph i've made all of those decisions let's write our introduction on the screen i've got our question at the top and my introduction structure in the middle so background statement the topic specific statement the task so i go from quite broad what are we talking about here the topic that we're dealing with is phones in schools right the task what exactly is the question that we're dealing with and the third sentence what do i think about it what's my opinion what's coming up in my essay okay i'm going to step you through it here this is my background statement in most schools around the world students have their own mobile phone super simple background statement just letting the reader know this is the area that we're in today specific statement so i want to deal with the task here now remember up here some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones is it positive or negative while these devices can undoubtedly play a role in safety connectedness and even learning many schools have chosen to restrict their use on campus notice already that i've got coherence and cohesion in mind with my linking words these devices their use also i've got a complex sentence starting with the subordinating conjunction while third sentence in my view this is a positive step and can bring benefits not only academically but physically and socially too so the reader knows what my opinion is there is no doubt i think it's positive and coming up in my essay the reader expects to see how it's positive academically physically and socially take a moment to read through and now it's over to you i want you to write your own introduction and follow those three steps you've got six minutes to do this b did you use some cohesive devices in your intro are there any complex sentences in there have you checked your spelling have you used some topic-specific vocab keep that criteria in your mind intro is done let's go on to body one and this is how i'm going to structure my body one single idea paragraph i use the acronym peel point explain example effect link if you come to our live classes you know that there should be some flexibility with this structure but it's a useful way to develop a good paragraph and i'm going to step you through it sentence by sentence but i want you to write with me so i'm going to give you the first sentence and then i'm going to ask you a question okay so we're going to write together sort of here is my main point for this paragraph my topic sentence restricting phone use in the classroom itself can improve learning this is the main point the big idea okay so there we go we've got the first sentence now i'm going to ask you a series of questions i want you to write a sentence then i'm going to show you my sentence okay so my first question now is how or why so restricting phone use in the classroom itself can improve learning so my next part of the paragraph is to explain and i do that by answering these questions how does restricting phone use improve learning okay take 90 seconds and write your next sentence go [Music] here's my answer to that question so restricting phone use in the classroom itself can improve learning this is simply because without these devices there are far fewer distractions for teachers and students okay so that's the reason fewer distractions next question give me an example okay so i want you in the next sentence or two sentences to paint me a picture of a classroom show me what it's like in a classroom where students are distracted by their phones okay so you have 90 seconds for this go [Music] and here's how i've developed that example this is simply because without these devices there are far fewer distractions for teachers and students when a student has their phone in their lap or pocket for instance there is an irresistible urge to check constantly for texts alerts or social media updates even the most observant teacher cannot prevent them from sneakily checking their messages or scrolling through this irrelevant material during the lesson so my example is two sentences long there and i'm trying to paint that picture of the reality of phones in the classroom okay next question you ready what effect can this have so students in the classroom are distracted by their phones everybody's got a phone it's beeping and buzzing what impact can this have so think about the students future think about the classroom dynamic 90 seconds i want you to write the next sentence now [Music] okay what effect can this have here's my answer these endless distractions draw attention away from important educational matters and erode attention spans which can have long-term effects on academic progress so these distractions take attention from important things they have an impact on how long you can concentrate and all of this can have a long-term impact final thing onto the link now remind me why should phone use be restricted so we're going to come back to our question here or our idea that it's a good idea to restrict phone use so final sentence tell me again why should phone use be restricted 90 seconds go [Music] here's my final sentence a blanket ban on phones during class frees learners from this compulsive checking and allows them to focus it's all wrapped up and that is our body one it's beautiful it's gonna score really well it's fully developed there are examples there's lots of topic-specific vocab in there it's linked together every sentence is holding hands with the sentences before and after let's go on to body two so on the screen here i've got the topic and i've got my intro my body one and here is the structure for body two and i want you to write this one without any help from me but go through that same process a topic sentence and then explain how or why prove it to me with an example or paint me a picture tell me about the effect so what what what will happen and link back to the topic so for this one you have for this you've got 10 minutes start writing now [Music] so how did you go now remember i'm going to show you a full sample at the end that you're going to edit for me but let's get the conclusion done so intro body one body two done over to the conclusion now two sentences is enough for a conclusion you wanna make a broad statement kind of like the introduction a broad statement about this topic of phones in classrooms or phones in schools and then summarize your argument summarize your opinion so just restate the same things from body one and two again and you've got six minutes to do this go [Music] remember what i said about the marathon runner make sure that you are actually writing and doing the work yourself don't just watch or listen you've got to write if you want to improve your writing now it's time to check your work but in this case you're going to check my work first this is a list of the most common errors that we see these are mainly grammar and vocab errors and you probably recognize some of them subject verb agreement that's a big error really common error errors with nouns articles of course are and the verb tenses prepositions fragments uh run-on sentences non-grammatical sentences and so on down to punctuation and spelling these kind of errors can be either serious ones or just minor ones but too many of them will cost you a band seven so you need to get used to editing and correcting them in your own work okay but let's start with my essay here it is and there are 14 errors in this essay so i want you to take two minutes to try to find and fix all 14. here we go [Music] so did you find all 14 could you fix them i'll show you where they are first of all so i've highlighted in yellow all of the spots with errors so for example in the intro we've got in most schools around the world students have their own mobile phone while this device is can you see the problems there hopefully you can take another 60 seconds and try to fix anything that you missed the first time go [Music] are you feeling confident with that so i'm gonna show you the corrections just for the intro and body one okay and then i want you to put in the comment box the other errors so the problems in body two and the conclusion so tell me what the correct answer should be and if you want to check you'll be able to download the full essay from the description below so here are the corrections for the intro and body one pause now and just double check that you got it right and when you're ready give your attention to body two and the conclusion let me know in the comments section what the correct answers should be and then download and check with the full sample essay and that's it you've written a complete ielts writing task too but if you want more check this out when you log in at e2language.com go to your course and click on writing task 2. here you'll find heaps of resources to help you prepare for this part of the test in the overview section you can find out all about the marking criteria the different essay types some golden rules get our essay structures then you can learn how to write intros body paragraphs conclusions plus join j as he steps you through all these different types of essays from opinions to double questions thanks for riding with me today keep practicing and i'll see you soon [Music] you

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Id: TvVc9oiFDQI

Length: 56min 36sec (3396 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 30 2020