All right,
we're checking out the only game where all questions lead to death. Uh, it's Happy Wheels. This is a board
where everything's just secret, and everything that's a secret
might end up getting you killed. As I understand,
there's also like a questionnaire that you have to pass if you get that far. I love how I'm at
two different sides of the spectrum. I have incredible and noob. There's also an option
if you don't want to win. Gamer epic elite, even great. Sure. Yeet. Oh, God.
Every single area has a sound effect. Where has this been all my life? Oh, you only get 60 seconds to win. Okay, you got a speed run. Gameplay timer is 60 seconds. Let's do this.
Give me all the bottles. All the bottles. [GRUNTS] I'm not giving up until I win. I don't care what it takes. Normally,
I-I'm allowed to have at least some time to try and figure out where I wanna go. Not today. Bottles keep falling in on my head. Oh, they're making me wish
that I was dead. Is grace still place the best. Choose the right one. [CHUCKLES] What happens if you pick no? Ah. I guess that was the questionnaire. Oh, my heart landed unlocked. Faster, faster, faster. Come on. I keep hearing the sound that reminds me of a homing mine coming to remove my skull
from the inside of my flesh. All right, so I'll pick yes.
How's that? You unlock tacks. So what-what do my hacks to do? Do I get like infinite time now? It doesn't matter though
because I'm out of bottles. Okay.
Grey still places the best. I unlocked hacks. Now that I have hacks-- I-- Now that I have hacks,
absolutely nothing happened in my favor. How the hell are you supposed to win this? See, I'm close to winning,
but can't because it's locked. Like everything else. What's more powerful,
a 60-second time limit or my masochism go? Oh, I landed on text. Just raw unpolished text. Okay, yes. You know it being the best in for me. It got me wow. That's it. Oh, the wind is open. I can make this work. Come on. No. God, I went to the way. So close. You can do this. You can do this. We have- we have unlimited time right now. We unlock the hacks. You disappoint me. What is this?
Well done, come on. Gamer. Yes. The full wind. Welcome everyone to Epic Rope Swing 5. You know the rope swings legit. When it doesn't even begin
with a rope swing, like do I actually have
to get to the rope swing? Do I have to go inside of a volcano? Hold on. Oh. Apparently, I did. Ah. Ooh, okay. And boop. Got it. Oh, it's like- it's like frozen meatballs. This is interesting. Can I just win by getting this coin? Hold on. Nope. Oh, all right. Or the coin is protected. All right, so onto the mutant meatballs. There we go. Fall down here. This is a very impressive rope swing. Everything's like so custom
and onto the ghostly platform, yeet or not. Guess I could just die. I need to know as well,
is there anything like past the volcano? What's down here? Is it just death or is there some? Nope, it's just death. Ah. It is time to begin as all things do inside of a volcano. And oop. And yeet. Hands up, full flip, grab. Whoa.
I almost got my arms ripped off. Okay, so jump, grab mutant meatballs around counterclockwise. I guess I have to wait
for this thing to turn on now. No, no, no. There we go.
Okay. So slide down here into the-- Oh, wow.
Into the pumpkin and then-- [SCREAMS] Holy Twix bar. What the hell? Into this cursed-- [SCREAMS] Into this cursed being. Up and grab. This is unbelievably complex. Got some corn pops over here. Look like they're crying. Oh my foot. Here we go.
Could also be sad potatoes. Don't move- don't move like- like at all or all right. I'm gonna- I'm gonna let go and hope
that it's the right choice there, Pete. Pete was a man of great wealth. His greed cost him his brother's life. Now, he pays the price. Death, what the hell? Fuck you, Pete. [LAUGHS] Court dismissed. [SCREAMS] I did it. I won. That was incredibly-- Aw. I was gonna say that was incredibly deep. It's like its own miniseries. Time for freeze wall, pink. All right. Oh, I'm screwed now. Oh, never mind.
I'm actually not screwed. Yeet. [GRUNTS] All right, delay of one. Woo. Oh, come on. So, the blocks hit the other blocks. How the hell? Okay, I have an idea.
Hold on. All right, if I go back here, we're gonna get a ton of speed,
and then, yeet, there we go. Now, this--
Oh, that did count. Okay, cool. Full flip, nice. Oh, there goes my son and, baam. This, I might not be able to get past. All right.
I can do this, or can I? Oh my God,
there's like no space to get through this. [GRUNTS] Stop it.
My bicycle is trying to eat my ankle. Delay of 0.4 seconds. Oh, no. I have one arm to try and win. Oh, God, no. Oh, shit. I wanna-- I'm trying to flutter kick my way out. Oh my God, it worked. Okay. So, jump. Oh, come on, and then yeetilideet-- [LAUGHS] Oh, yes. Come on, baby, yeah. Delay. Oh, no, I'm gonna get-- I'm gonna explode. Okay, I can't do this head first
or I'll die. Oh, no, I don't know if I can--
I gotta get my legs. [GRUNTS] Come on, come on, legs. I'm dead, or am I? Okay. I don't know, I don't know,
I don't know if I can squeeze through this [GROANS] like a tube of human toothpaste. [GRUNTS] Come on. Yes. Go. [LAUGHS] Oh, the pain in my ass, yes. Look at him try. Oh God, that's a 0.2. Come on. [LAUGHS] All right, ready? And-- [GROANS] [GRUNTS] Come on, legs. You know what?
Screw-- we're going headfirst. Yes, I thought
there was no way I could survive that. My head is a lot stronger
than I give it credit for. Welcome to hell. The delay is now 0.1. All right, so I need to splay out. Ready, ready, ready? Here. Got it. Hell, yes. No, this is called death dive. I ha-- It says you have to avoid the children. What does that even mean? Ah. Well, I guess
I'll get the opportunity to see. Oh, there's like spin--
it is literally spinning children. All right, down here and watch the balls. Okay, that was pretty good. Watch the children, full flip, and we got a winner. Luckily, all the alcohol broke my fall. This is-- What just happened just now? This is called construction zone. Can't go that way. So, I'm assuming I have to circumnavi-- Oh my God. Click to open. I was gonna say I guess
I have to navigate through the con-- There goes my son. I and just I have to navigate
through the construction zone. God, this construction zone
is nothing but violence. Aw. All right, screw it, full speed. Just lost my helmet. Go, go, go, go, go, jump and then just go, just go,
speed, all the speed. I'm starting to dislike construction. There, got it. Down and hey. This is made by Yeetseekingmissile.
[LAUGHS] Welcome to Harpoon Survival 7. How--
Oh, okay. All right.
It's not too bad. And woop! Oh God, I lost part of my ass. Okay, so far so good. Oh, yeah, there's nothing
I even have to do right there, and not yet, now. [CHUCKLES] What else do you got for me? Okay, no big deal. So, you can't stay on the walls. Okay, it's starting
to get a little closer to me. Here we go.
Let's go back over here. This is a long-
this is a long harpoon survival. Okay, Round 2. I think I should be fine. Yup.
Uh, not yet, now? Good. And, duck. Hell, yes. Back to vertical, and now? Good.
The wind? Round 3. Whoa. Oh, yeah. Woo. Now? How many more you got for me? Not yet, now. You gotta be
running outta harpoons at this point. Okay, was this, like, the bonus round now? No. [GRUNTS] I'm alive. I did it. [LAUGHS] Intense. This is called, No Way You Can Live. That's all it says. Okay, all right, they--
Oh, my-- Okay, I am in half now. Hey, half is all I need. This is called Eye Ball Course. You're right, I should've went. This is called Eyeball Horse. Wait here for sentence. Liar. Level 1, Eyeball Rollin'. This is- this is like super concerning. How the hell? Oh, my God. [GRUNTS] All right.
You just gotta go, you just gotta go. Does that say, "Eyeball of Axes"? What does that even mean? Well, I made it. Oh, really? Okay, Eyeball Rollin', go. Argh, my arms. I did it.
Whoa, not today, Satan. [CHUCKLES] Right, now the Eyeball Jump. So, I have to jump over this, correct? So, whoop. Ah. You cheeky bastard. Rollin' Eyeballs, through the axes, Eyeball Eyes. Ugh, that jump. Okay, I need my son for this. Without him, I don't think I can get pa-- Hmm, there he goes. "I need you, Tom." Well, I guess
I'll have to do without you now. Damn it.
That board is a pain in my ass. Go, wow. I hate eyeballs, or do I? Ooh, I think I've got this. Ah, no. The goddamn axes. Oh, come on. Aw. I love wearing a spear like a hat. [GRUNTS] Oh, yeah. Ugh, the ax. It goes so low
that there's almost no way to dodge it. You actually have to time it. I hate timing axes. Oh, no, my child. Um, okay, through here. Yeah, see?
It's super low. Gotta get low. Gotta--- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, wait for it, wait for it, wait for it, now. This board is the devil. Oh, it's the--
Whoa. I did it. All right,
now, here's what we're gonna do. Good, shoot at me, shoot. Come on. Come on, do it,
do it, do it, do it, do it, do it. Come on. Come on, you little bastard. Ugh, I hate you. All right. [GRUNTS] Yes, no. That-- it's like a heat-seeking javelin. It's totally unfair. Through here? Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it. Okay, okay. No, no, no, no. [ULULATES] Yep, stay right there. Okay. And, yeet, Tom. No, it didn't go off? Why? [LAUGHS] I did it. [LAUGHS] Yes. Now, over the eyeballs? Slow, stop, you won. You liar. Damn it. Eyeball Dodge?
What was that? Is that a--
Is that - is that canons? It's firing eyeballs? All right. Oh, my God. This- this is- this is evil. [LAUGHS] All right, well, I can't-- So, even Tom
doesn't deflect this damn thing, so I have to do this myself. Come on, come on. There it is.
Okay, perfect. All right, so here's the strap, jump, and then just-just go,
you just gotta go. There. What is this?
What is this? Am I going down ice stairs? [GASPS] No. I'm right there.
I could totally win this. Tom. This is the one. We're doing it on this--
We're doing it on this run. And, by "we," I mean me. No. Okay, this run. Come on. This run. "I'll never give up." Eyeballs. [GRUNTS] All right. You need all your speed. [GRUNTS] Go, go, go, go. Aaah. I dodged. Seriously? Eyeball speed run. Ha-ha, over Sleeping Eyeballs. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And-- Oh, "Eyeball Flying." The hell does that mean? Um, sure. [GASPS] Oh, you bastard. Oh, I won. Yes, I did it. I did it. I'm gonna go drink a gallon of visine. Anyway, folks, I hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time, stay foxy and much love.
