Alright, we're checking out
the only game where a lifetime of alcoholism
leads to the Dorito of glory. It's Happy Wheels.
What is happening? Ow, Oh God, I-I'm starting to wonder
if I'm- uh, am I-am I supposed
to fall down the hole? I'm falling down the hole.
My beer gut is now holding me in the hole. Mickey Deez nuts
is slapping me in the face. Oh, oh, this is totally working.
This-it's supposed to be this way. We have no insurance for broken wastes.
I don't like this warning. Oooh, that is so close
to crushing my head. Come on baby. Yeah, yeah [grunts].
Ah, I did it [screams]. You know what's down here?
Nothing. Freaking Dorito is
looking at me sideways. Oh, "Plug your YouTube Channel. You should subscribe
to the person you're watching." Oh. Oh, wait, it doesn't count, never mind.
Don't subscribe. They call me Nebulous Maximus. Also, this is a gigantic
leaning tower of pain I've created. One more, come on, get up there.
[cheers] Yeah [laughs]. This gotta be worth something. There we go. Now-now
the YouTube Channel is blocked, Oh my God. [laughs] Now you can subscribe again.
Alright, little cursed Amogus-- Hold on. What the hell?
Wow. So, wait, there's,
"Unlock the back", and then just, "Click to unlock the backside",
so can you just get rid of-? [laughs] Now, YouTube, just so you know, uh,
this is clearly a peanut wearing a blindfold. Ooh.
I did a thing here. I-I'm not sure if this makes me
amazing or terrible. All right, back.
Come on, get up in there. Yeah. Ha, mm, potatoes. Oh my God.
The double Maximus Penetratus. I just bottle flipped Mickey D
with my stomach. Did you see that?
See, I don't have a choice because the front panel just exploded out
from under me, so now I'm basically just playing. All of the bottles are bouncing off
of my head and I have to just see how I can use my stomach
to kind of- Oh my God, my legs. I can do this.
The double God of holes. We don't need legs where we're going. That's right. Get up in there.
Uh, I just pelvically thrust the bottles. Okay, little Dorito, everyone loves you.
Uh, okay, maybe less people love you now. The Dorito keeps breaking
all of my bottles. Oh, I touched it.
I touched the Dorito. Yes, The Dorito of glory. The Dorito of glory is mine [laughs]. It's called Bottle Run Medium. No way out.
That means there's only one way to go. Forward. I love how- All right,
I love how things are just-- they're not
a hundred percent impossible. It's just medium
while the feet of my child are gone. He lived.
I lived. I could see one of my arms
yeeted itself out. See we both lost something. I love how the father is
just slowly backing away. Later [chuckles]. This is called- oh my God.
What the hell? This is called
Only One Percent Can Do This. Thanks for playing this hell.
I-I did it. I did it [laughs]. I am that one percent, Ah, yes.
Time once again to get out of the box. I did not get out of the box. You don't get a lot of time in this box.
Do you? Yay. I love how even though I won,
I still got acupuncture to death. This is called
Find The Way Out, okay? Is there-? Okay, it's not that way.
Oh, the wall moves. What?
[laughs] Yes, it is time for the Dad Fight Club. "Hi there, welcome to Fighting Club.
Here are the rules. When you saw the red line,
please be careful. "Sorry for my rubbish English".
Don't worry. After all the Google Translate
I deal with on a daily basis. "Kill all to win, rate five
or I am your mom." Alright, mom. Let's see what you got for me. "Level one, Your Grandpa."
Oh, I'm going down the family tree. Okay. What? All right,
well, grandpa's dead. What else you got for me?
"Level two, Warrior." Where does that fit
inside of my-my family? Oh, God. [grunts] Ouch. I'm pretty sure all those blades
went out of my ass just now. "Ninja Dad." Sure. Wow. How come I got stabbed
in the weener and it killed me? You know what?
We're doing this with speed. Go.
[grunts] Yeah. Come on, baby. I'm using your body
as a- as a shield. [laughs]
Damn it, I almost got there. No survivors. Go.
[grunts]. Protect me, Tom. There's a sword in my neck,
wearing it like a freaking bow tie, but apparently, sword bow ties are in. Yay. Welcome to Jet Run. Oh, boy. I may need a bit more speed
in order to complete this. Argh, yes, go. Oh, man.
You really need all you can get. Come on, come on. Go, go, go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Win. Come on. Come on. Yes. I love how there was this lady here
to break my fall when I ended the board. It's called, Infiltrate the Base. "Kill the agents, infiltrate their base,
and steal their gold." Okay. All right.
I'm assuming this is an agent. I think they should maybe consider
hiring a different agent. Here's another agent [laughs].
These agents-- What? That agent
has been drinking on the job. How [?] get this? Ah. All right. Bahm, bing, backflip,
boom, down, get him. No, what?
[?] The a-- These agents are killing me
with just like their complacency. My son always ends up--
Ah, it's this guy. Can I just, like, go over this board?
It's-- All right, there. Nice.
My son took out the other dude. Now, I just need to, hold on [laughs].
Oh, I still died. These spears are really a pain in my ass.
This gold better be worth it. I'm pretty sure, like, one of my kidneys
or something just killed this guy. Okay.
Be very cautious of the spear. The spear is now head level. [grunts] Break the glass,
and get the gold. Welcome to Blue and Green
Rope Swing [screams]. Thanks for the warm welcome.
All right. I guess-I guess I don't really have time
to watch the-the intro here. Wow, what the holy hell? That's interesting.
My leg. Okay. Wrecking ball [cries]. I also have to mention, apparently,
there's three different endings. Here we go.
Nice, ha, and then, ha. Oh, yeah.
Oh, this is working out great. [grunts] Ouch. Right.
And, in, and thrust. Nope [grunts]. This is gonna be
a real pain in the ass board. Actually, before we do anything,
is one of the wins, wait for it, back here.
There usually is. Get ready.
What the hell? Do you have to swing
on one of the spike strips? Okay. Grab, swing,
and back, there we go, flip, get ready, swing. Right.
How about if we just--? Ah, my foot. Okay, here's the plan,
we're just gonna fall. Damn it. Well le-let's actually see
what is over here. Ah, okay.
So, there is a win back here. There, got it, got it,
got it, got it, got it. Ah, no. Well, this is interesting. The hell is this? Huh. Okay.
There is a lot of weirdness here. I'm not giving up until I get this,
now that I see that it's there. There it is, there it is.
Let go. Yes. Yes. Oh, and I got to the second win. I did both wins in one try.
Okay, we got two in a row. Okay. So there's one win left,
I assume it's the actual board. Like the way
the board is meant to be played. So, up, fly, through, down, land,
watch out for the wrecking ball, jump, nice. Here goes.
Oh, no, that's both arms. I don't have any arms left.
I don't have any arms left. Grab, jump, swing, up.
Okay. I've got all of my limbs. Come on, get-get inside
the damn cannon. Ah. Oh, it's the sound of death
but you don't actually die. What a freaking trolly board, God, I feel like the impossible wins
were easier than the hard win. Okay, "Going head first", it says.
Sure, there, head first. Okay, that's the fake death,
through here, nice. Okay, good. Oh, no, no, no, no, no
foot got out of the way, no. This board gives me anxiety. Grab, swing, through. Right. Head first, sound of death,
oh, there is no--There it is. Okay, sound of death,
landed, there, got it. Okay, thumbnail hold, no problem. Yes. I-- That was weird. Where the thumbnail hold go?
I want the thumbnail hold win. Go, wow, yes. This is call-- Well there you go,
that's what it's called. The fact that I haven't been
immediately killed by a meteor is amazing to be quite frank.
Okay, so, Pogo Jump Neon. Alright, no problem so far,
nothing new here. All right, oh, yeah.
Oh, we're going to-- Look at this, we're clearing
the whole thing in one shot. Bum, bim, right there, bam. All right, almost broke
both of my teeth [grunts]. Up and over,
up and-- oh, hell, yeah. Look at the height.
[?]. I pogo with my teeth [grunts].
Winning. The time has come for a Harpoon Run. "Hi Gray if you see this
I'm a really big fan and you inspired me
to play Happy Wheels." I'm kind of sorry
because pain is all that you get. Alright, well,
have fun in Day Care little Tom. Yeah, he's having a good time.
Okay, so-- Oh, boy, go. Go.
Holly cow [screams]. I shouldn't have let go of the bike.
[screams] So, if you're supposed to let go
of the bike, let me-let me think. Right now, there, I'm death.
[screams] More speed. I almost just circumvented
the entire board. Screw, letting go of my bike,
ouch, yeah. This is called, Hold on for Your Life.
Okay, is that a helicopter? Okay, oh, yeah. This is great, I'm being taken to--
What is it? Did that just say, "Let go"? I'm pretty sure that said, "Let go."
[screams]. Ouch. Alright, I'm going to try and let go.
I think when it says let go. I'm- I think that's--
Yeah, "Let go", there, okay. Oh, you have to land on like
a tiny little platform, all right. Through the helicopter,
and wait for it, now? Damn it, this is tough. All right, we're-we're going to
get into a ball here. Here we go [screams].
There's a lot of luck at hand. Come on, yeah-- No, I touched it
[chuckles] that was a win. I hate you, helicopter. One, two, three, four, now. Okay, one, two,
three, four, five, now. There we go, five.
Five count. Yes. Oh God, it was so worthening. The time has come
to complete an epic race with skill and agility,
watch how I use all of these pumpkins to save my life. I just dodged 47 pieces of death.
Hi, son. Now my son and I continue onward, one of my arms may have
flown off my body but it's fine. I'm going to beat you, Dad. It's on, and now the father and son
must complete the course, but who will be victorious? We both lost limbs at this point, a rocket just took my helmet away,
that can't be good. Alright. Finally,
I got rid of that arm, it's been just, like,
hanging on most of my life. Where's my son at?
And [?] outward. Oh, my son is right there.
No, you beat me [chuckles]. Yay. This is called Cursed Game.
This is very concerning, I'm literally just biking
on top of a platform of children holding a watermelon. Well, [chuckles] I mean, I guess I won. Oh, yes, it's time for
Red light, Green Light. "Green light, push this man."
I feel like I was lied to. Green light, go.
[laughs] Okay, [laughs] I don't really think
there's a lot of rules here to be followed. [laughs]
Yeah, here you go. A green light, yeah, yeah.
What happened here? This is not what happens
in Red Light, Green Light. I'm pretty sure
the game didn't have butchers cleavers
getting thrown at people. Alright [laughs]. If this lady's neck wasn't so powerful,
I would be screwed right now. All right, good sir,
I may have to eat off of your body. This is a real problem we've got here. Oh, you know what?
I could probably still finish this. Ready?
Hold on. And, whoop [screams]. Okay, lady [chuckles], I need you to die.
But I need you to die, like, sideways. Perfect. Thank you.
You finally listened to me. Excuse me.
Alright, where's the- where's--? All right, we're still
in green light mode here. Green light mode, green-- What is this?
What is this? Is this the lady?
Is this the girl? [laughs] Why is she balding? I-I [chuckles] she turned into,
like, a depressed Dorito. Yay, I made it. Apparently, the plot of Squid Game
and Happy Wheels is just the same. Kill everyone so that
you can leave in the end. Alright, Folks, hope you have
enjoyed this episode of Happy Wheels. Till the next time.
[?] all.
