-Alright, we're checking out
the only game where premature yeeting will get you killed. Urgh, it's Happy Wheels. I always love seeing a bottle throw
where most of the options will get me murdered. [background cheering]
I also love that for the first time ever, we have a premature yeet. I don't exactly know what sort of--
What the hell? What is happening? [gasps] No. Butcher. It released the butcher's cleavers. Urgh, I gotta do as much as I can
before I'm murdered. Please give me bottles. [yells] What the hell? Some sort of rope swing. Okay, uh, this bottle throw
is really insane. Okay, so how do I even get to--
All right, there's yeet-ish. Trying to get to the yeet rope
if you will. Oh, I touched the premature yeet. [gasps] Oh, oh, not yeet rope,
it's yeet pro. All right, can I get a win unlock? Can I get a little bit more
of a win unlock? Are you serious right now? [yells] [chuckles] Get in there. Urgh, coke and a smile. I'm not dead. That's pretty good. Oh, crap, oh what the hell? [screams] Whoo. I survived, I survived the ball and chain. I don't know how, but I did it. [yells] Uh, I got half of the win unlock,
I don't know how to get the other half, so-- Oh, God. Someone just died like offscreen. Oh, God. No, no. Urgh. Come on, and right off the bat,
butchers cleavers. Wonderful. All right, I got half of the-- [yells]
Okay, let's try and not get cut to death. All I wanna do is actually win this board. Come on, baby.
Come on, baby. Yeah, yes, okay. Urgh, come on. No, no. Are you kidding me? Get in there. [yells]
This makes my weiner very, very angry. Boom, there it is. Okay, now we can win--
Oh, what the hell? [screams] Aww. Oh, there's a win down here as well. Hmm. [background noise] Oh, I flipped it
on top of the rock 'n roll and now it's just the sounds
of pain and death. [background screaming] Oh, damn it. I've gotta get ready for that-that--
Ooh, what the hell? Oh, here we go, here we go, here we go. No, it flipped me the wrong way. Oh, hell. That's like
one of the hardest bottle flips I've ever done.
All right, one half unlocked. No, my helmet protected me. [yells] Come on, baby. [yells] Oh, no, the butcher cleavers. Aww. No. I had it and the butcher cleaver killed me
on my way down. [singing] This board is the devil Oh, the devil I'm getting really good
at the unlocks though. All right. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Urgh. All right, so it's all about figuring out
how to get my hands backwards so I can grab that frigging rope. Don't ask how because I have no idea. Yeah.
Oh, oh, wow. The fool only knows victory
after he's suffered. [chuckles] Are you kidding me? Okay, urgh, so the rope swing
is a lot longer than you think. All right, we're going
for the regular win unlock. Come on. Get that second unlock.
That looks good. Okay, now, [grunts] I just have to get-- grunts] Grab. [yells] [gasps] got all the way down here. How big is this level? Okay, uh, [chuckles] I think
I'm just gonna go for the win unlock because I can't think
of any other way to pot-- Oh, all right, maybe now I can unlock them
because the fricking bottles are stuck. Damn it. Oh, crap. Looks like we're doing the rope swing.
Oh, this actually looks good. Grab it, tuck, swing, grab,
tuck, swing, grab. Oh my God, I made it. Drop. Yes. Okay, this is the last part. You fool, this is the brutal part. What is--?
Oh, oh, it's just like a sperm thrust. I've done sperm thrusts many times. Yay, and we have a winner.
This is called Annoying Things. Apparently, you have to get past
all of the annoying things in Happy Wheels but as any Florida man, I must know
if there's anything down-- Hey, annoying win.
Speaking of Florida man. Do you want to become a Florida man? Because I have a secret something
coming out soon. I'll give you a hint. You'll be able to ingest it
and you'll become 1 kajillion times more Floridian.
All right, annoying floor. Ah, annoying staircase.
Okay, very good. [background music] There we go, ah. Oh my God.
Aw, my head. Annoying jump. All right.
How big is this jump? Yeeks. Got it.
[background sound] Oh, what the hell? Annoying troll, annoying text,
annoying Florida men. [laughs] What a bunch of shit.
So you can't actually win that way. Let me just-- [background sound]
I wanna see something else though. I wanna know-- Hold on. [background sound] I wanna know
if there's a reason why those poles are there, but I have to not win
in order to figure this out. Okay, here we go. All right, so now get rid of my son
[chuckles] as-as any good father does, and now grab, hold, grab, hold,
we got to do this real slow, real controlled if you will. There we go. Yes. Right now, pull, perfect, and grab and my bike is [background sound]
probably going to crush my son's head. More grab.
Okay, now-- There. Now, we'll be able
to thrust back, forward, thrust. Dammit, you know,
maybe I can go off the backboard. [background sound] There we go.
Okay, so I got past this little area. I just wanna know
if there's like any other way to win besides the annoying win
that you have to find this way, like flutter kick. It'll be a lot faster
if I do this, this way, [grunts] right? So, is there anything over here?
I'm just curious. There is nothing.
[background sound] Hold on, there is one other thing I found.
Let me get past this, pass the stairs. All right, now check this out.
The jump, but you don't jump. See? There's like a little hidden area up there.
What even is that? All right, so I think I can get
into that little hole. I like-- I feel like it's something,
but it might also be nothing, but I have to know.
All right, so back. I've got to get rid of my bike though. Shit, getting really good at the stairs. Oh, there's freaking-- [crosstalk]
There's an arrow in my head and it's like destroying my motion.
There we go, right? Down here. Okay, and now fall off the edge. Beauty. Oh, yeah, all right. Down. [screams] Okay, I got in here. Now, is there anything in here
or is this a big nothing? Regardless, I just wanted to know. It is [background sound] nothing. This is all called rope swing kick. You basically just have to lean
on someone [background sound] off-cliff. The time has come once again
[background sound] for a young heart to go through the various trials
in life in order to find out who his parents are.
[chuckles] We don't know. I'm not really sure how much tribulation
a heart can possibly have. Obviously, there's always plenty of ropes. Oh, we have a yeeter over here
through the-- Wow. Through the ramp, [background sound]
into the cannon off the backboard. Roll down and into another cannon, background sound]
ram off of the-the staircase. Oh, I just get-I got to give myself
a high five with my own heart, that was kind of interesting,
and sloopy-di-doo, back into like the 30th cannon. This heart has now done more things
in its life than I have. This is called fit in the hole. You have to fit in the hole. Oh, there's an easy and a hard.
Is it really that tough? Come on. The easy actually looks tougher
than the hard. All right, thrust upward. [background sound] All right, maybe not. Okay, so for hard you jump, grab,
get rid of the-- There we go,
and then thrust up the hoogies. Thrust. Oh, no. Okay, I can see why it's hard
because if you screw up-- There we go.
Oh, that's perfect. Oh, yeah, here we go, here we go. Oh, yeah, and I got through the hole. [background sound]
This is called testing facility. Welcome to the testing chamber. Don't worry about our cameras. Can I go backward? Oh, it doesn't actually kill me
or anything. What does this even do?
Easy, medium, hard. Okay, irresponsible dad is easy. Jump. [background sound]
Ah, there's a child slide in my ankle. Drunk guy, also easy.
Okay, there we go. Uh, the mother wielding a blade,
I actually have an idea here by using this stack of children and man. I wonder if I can push you guys
into the mother, so I don't get bladed in the skull. Actually,
I might be able to just jump over it. Yike. Woo. Intercom. Karen 1.2.0 terminated. What happened? We terminated her because she was asking
for the manager. Oh, no. Like one of the bosses is Florida man. How the hell am I supposed
to make it over all that? Here we go. [grunts] Ah, all right.
We're just running through it. Over the guy.
Through the old man. Over the girl. Oh. Hmm. I have an idea. All right. By using these rolling giblets here,
I might be able to knock down a sword or two. Yeah, there we go. Huh? Yeah. I got another one here.
Here's a leg. Ooh. I've got this sword in my wiener too. I might be able to utilize this. Can I get low?
Guttered leg. Pop it. There we go. Yes. Okay. So now if I didn't have this sword
in my wiener, I would never be able to complete this.
Ooh. Oh, no. How am I ever gonna get a sword back
in my wiener again? Come on, Karen.
We're doing this together or not. Up. Yee. And up. Yee. Urgh, man, I can almost make it.
Can I just knock him down? There. Okay. Now if I get low-- I can't get any lower
because the blade is in my groin. Damn it.
By using the butcher cleaver in my wiener-- Yes.
Ooh. Ooh. Okay, okay. And come on.
Just the tip. Just the tip. Yes. Yes. I never thought I would enjoy
a butcher cleaver in the groin so much. We have a winner.
I gotta save that. This is called impossible rope swing. Impossible. All right. What do you got for me? And jump. Oh, a thumbnail hole. Hmm. Oddly enough, I've done enough of these. Aw, to the point
where I can still die immediately. I was gonna say to the point
where I'm feeling slightly more confident. Okay. Youch. Thrust. [background noise]
Oh, not even a-not even a cut. Well done, Nixon 35.0.
He's over here. He's like, "Let this end."
Welcome to harpoon-- Whoa. [background noise]
Wow, it doesn't give you a lot of time to get ready.
Okay. Harpoon swing. Here we go.
Grab the harpoon. Nice and let-- Hmm,
actually it's a lot harder than it looks. How the hell you supposed to win this? Oh, okay. Getting close. Nixon, you can do this.
You can do it. You can do it. Ah, if my balls hadn't gotten
in the way of victory-- Oh, there goes my arms. Okay. So you arc upward, thanks to the fans. So let go here. [background noise]
Yes. [laughs] Hell, yeah. In fact, the glass is stabby, I can tell. This is called tank adventure test.
Can you go backwards? Why would this be here? Is there like a little hidden area
down here? Oh, I actually can't get off of it,
or can I? Uh, come on tank. Lean. Never thought I'd have so much trouble
trying to shove a freaking tank into a hole. All right. You know what?
Maybe we should just see exactly where the tank goes.
[background noise] Oh my God. All right.
The tank-the tank is-- [screams] the tank is very violent. Oh my God.
The tank treads. What happened to my tank? Now, it's just three balls. Ooh, I am just destroying everyone. I made it. I don't know how, but I made it. This is called 100% impossible
and the flavor tech says no one can ever beat it. Okay. Is there anything back here? No. And it doesn't really look
like there's anything here yet. [background noise] Oh my God. I have an idea.
I think I can totally beat this. Hold on. All right. So what you gotta do, okay,
is we are going to have to jump, release. Oh, help. Oh, how about if I-- Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, the game's breaking. [screams] All right. This may be 100% impossible. I'm not done yet,
but it's definitely not easy. Okay. All right. So let that go. Oh.
Oh, I got my-- aw, aw, oh, oh. Oh, I almost got it back. Yes. [laughs] I wonder
if I can get my feedback on it. Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, come on. Come on, Poco man.
You can do it. Yes, and yay. The sword in the balls
is always the answer. [laughs] How did you win it? Save replay. You got it. This is called fun weapons. You have to get past the fun weapons. Rated from danger 0 to 5. Right, number one,
we have conjoined crossbows. [background noise]
Okay, they're very deadly. You know, might just want to go past this. [screams] [laughs] Jet rail gun.
Woah. All right. Through the crossbows,
through the jet rail gun. I'm not getting involved in that.
Ah, the watermelon trap. I don't see how you can die to this,
but if you have terrible luck, one would get stuck on your arm.
All right. Well, I think I'm okay,
so let me get-let me through the delicious watermelon.
Oh, God, I'm gonna break my head. Ahh, jet nunchucks.
Yeet. Yeet. All right. Now, shhh-- I'm so dead or am I? Ah. I broke the jet nunchucks. Homing mine cage. What? beeps] [background noise] Got it. And we have a winner.
This is called epic rope swings two. Oh, woah.
What the hell? Ah. I think I just missed the rope.
Am I like a mech warrior? Supposedly,
this is the most epic rope swing you'll ever see.
Is that an AT-AT? Right. Ready. Get ready for it.
Get ready for it, and grab, swing. Oh, yeah.
We're going through, like a burning flaming pit. We got some faces over here, crying sadly. I'm not really sure what the hell
that is over there, and full flip to a grab. Upward, on to the- [laughs]
on to another conveyer belt. It's like going super Saiyan over here.
Ow. All right. Shoot off-ward, grab myself,
pull myself in. Hell, yes. On to another rope,
which coils you upward, so you can let go on the tiniest winning platform
ever known to mankind. Well, I never thought I'd get to pilot
a mech warrior in Happy Wheels, but now I know anything's possible. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed
the episode of Happy Wheels. Until next time, stay foxy and much love.
