All right,
we're checking out the only game where the only participation trophy
you get is death. It's Happy Wheels. I'm really happy
that I can play this board and potentially become a Latvian. I don't actually know
what that means in the end because I was almost in the bathtub. Anyway, what I was going to say is
I don't know anything about Latvia, so, I'm gonna ask someone who does. Hey, Google, what is Latvia known for? -According to Inside the Travel Lab,
-Uh-huh. that's a total of 4 national parks,- -Okay, what?
-42 nature parks, Okay, that's not--
-260 nature reserves, -That's not what I asked. I j--
-355 [crosstalk]. I get it, okay, yes. -Latvia has a lot of national park.
-[crosstalk] areas. -Okay stop, stop, thank you, good.
-24 micro [crosstalk]. Oh, God, it's still going.
I can't stop it. Apparently,
Latvia has a lot of nature stuff. I get abused by nature a lot,
so, I don't know how to feel about that. Apparently, I'll feel
about as good as an alright Latvian. Damn it. I want my shot out, come on. I'm so close. I guess it makes sense though, Floridian, Latvian,
it has mostly the same letters. Get in the no way hole,
get in there, come on. Oh, I did try. You know what I got for my hard work?
Nothing. [laughs] I almost had this. Or did I? Penetrate the hole, penetrate the hole. All right, or don't.
Oh, Latvia's age is now 103. That's probably also
how long I'll be here until I become an official Latvian. Do it, go. Wait a second,
you could go inside of the flag? Yay, I made it into the bathtub. I don't care what it takes,
I'm going to be a Latvian. I don't actually know
how I'm going to get down there because the damn flag is in the way, it's very patriotic and everything,
but I can't get past it. Come on. I was right there. You know what?
Maybe I'll go backwards a little bit. Hey, I felt like a winner for two seconds. It is unbelievably hard. Are you kidding me? I was going to say, it's actually
pretty hard to get the no way as well. How the hell? Come on. The tough life you live over, Latvia. If I'm saying it wrong,
just blame it on my Floridian accent. Make the bad man stop. I like how I say that
and the game's like, "No way." You know what I feel a lot of right now?
Disdain. Legit, this is unbelievable.
My inability to penetrate this hole. Like,
I don't even know how to explain this. What the hell, gravity? Yay, now I can finally become a true Latvian
if I can ever get a bottle down there. [music] I did it, and I'm in the bathtub again. Now I finally get to be up here
with yeet master 90 billion, catmeme, babushkab0i. This is called can you survive. That's it, there's no other context,
I don't know, I can't leave, so, I-I really don't have a choice.
So-- Wow. Hmm. Okay, sure. Just do a little wiener intervention here. [laughs] Ow. [laughs] Ow. Um, hey, Tom. Oh, no. I meant to do that,
that was actually all part of my defense. I'm a bad parent. My penalty for this
is 200 crossbow bolts to the wiener. All right, trying to do this slow
is a bad idea. Can you survive, they said. The answer is no. Go. My helmet is amazing. Damn it, what does it take? Come on, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. There is
an unfair amount of crossbow bolts. Am I still alive? I am not. Total lack of fairness. You know what, Tom? Well, that didn't work. Uh-huh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh-huh, uh, stop. [coughs] Oh, my God. I look like a fricking turkey. I, um-- [laughs] I don't actually know
how I'm supposed to get past this. Did I just use my son as a--? It didn't work. Oh, my back. Go. I can take it, I can take it.
I lied. All right, here's the plan. All right, now that--Now that's all done. Okay. Um, hmm, go. God. Yes, yes. The full flip saved my life. The answer is yes. This is called the Qual. T-- [sighs] The Qual 2. Okay. So, what--? Oh, my God. Um, oh, I may be screwed. Ah, God. Or am I? [laughs] Yeah. What the hell's this? Uh, all right, bye.
I don't-- Is it--? What--? Am I supposed to go that way
or what is this? All right. So, do you--? This is just going to kill me, isn't it? I'm dead. Right. Well. All right, so, down here-- There we go. Son, you're holding me back. Right, hit the ball. I just lost my helmet, that's not good. Actually, you know what Tom?
Hold on to the helmet for me. Ah, penis.
All right, I'm through screwing around. Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay. Apparently cheating is frowned upon.
Oh, yeah. Oh, we're-- Mm. Okay, I'm doing great. All right. So, jump over this. There. No, ow. I paused for one second to itch my nose
and I blew up. Okay, jump over this, right. Watch out for that. Nice, perfect. It killed me with what? Are you serious?
I still have my helmet on and everything. The hell am I paying you for, helmet? Okay, hit the ball. Ball goes down. Jump over the rampy thing. Here we go. Do not get touched by that
or it's instant death, as my son found out. Okay. Go down here. Oh, hold on. I don't trust anyone. I always feel like there's going to be
a little hidden ramp or something that'll end up killing me,
so-- [laughs] Okay. Um, yeet. Ah, okay, so they fall and just--
Oh, my God. Yay. This is called the impossible games. You have to complete
all of the impossible games. First, Pingo. Choose a ball. Okay. Oh, choose the number above the ball.
Okay, so what? Okay, so, the ball falls,
I'm dead, aren't I? There's no-- Oh, God. No. Okay. So, pick a ball, the ball fall down
the little pingo thing here, and hopefully, you get to next game, so, probably, like, four
'cause that one's way over here. Oh, that looks pretty good. Hell yeah. All right, hit for more swords.
Okay. Sword throw, no problem. Ah. I actually have to mention, like, missing everyone
with one of these Happy Wheels swords is its own amazing achievement. There. Okay, got him, got him, got him,
and now I have to get Mabel back there. Hold on. This. Yeet. I mean, good enough. I go-- Okay, we're into a ball fall.
Ah, yes. Nothing
like hugging gigantic mutated peas. Ow, that was my spine. Oh, ow, oh, God, now it's cantaloupes. Hard. So, where-- Jet. No. This is a board
that lacks fairness, doesn't it? Okay. So, it should always fall the same way. So, four. Perfect, okay. Swords, boom. Look at that right there. Yeet, yeet. Okay. How can I miss again? There we are. Hey, down here. Oh, my God. No. Wait, I have an idea. Okay, let all my limbs fall, now pretty soon, okay, they're gonna activate the jets. See, see? Ow, ow, ow. Did you see that double sword throw? Like a ninja. Yeah, yeah. All right. I-- Well, I'm pretty screwed now because-- Oh, God.
My feet are gonna activate the damn jets. Go, go, go. No. Yes. Oh, my God. [laughs] Saving that. This is called the great fall. It says you fall down a pit-- You fall down a pit with your friends
and you gotta survive. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're- we're getting this.
Oh, yeah, here we go. Oh, God. Come on baby. No, my arm. No, it's ruining everything. Where the-- What I'm supposed to do? Oh, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. Hmm. All right. So, if I can find a way--
Look at this. Watch, watch this, watch this. See?
Ah, there we go. Hold on. Wait for it, wait for it.
There we go. And we have a winner. This is called Gray's Crusade 2.0. It's Reginald approved. Greetings vic, I mean, player. This level is designed
to be masochistically impossible. Can you beat or will the levell--? Mm. Right, neutron star. First off though,
I wanna know what's in daycare. Nothing. Okay, Tom, you go to daycare,
I don't wanna go visit the neutron star. Look, dad, I can slide now. Okay, the Yeetaconda. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. I'm gonna hit this board, arent I? All right.
Follow Reginald over the Yeetaconda. Perfect. Over the harmless spikes. [screams] We're doing this with speed. Yeetaconda, over the spikes, through whatever the hell that is,
through the Dorito of Doom. Oh, God. Hey, Reginald,
can you, like, slide me with you? Or not, that's fine too.
Reginald. I love Yeetacondas, oh, yes, Yeetacon- Don't touch me, please. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, it didn't touch me. All right,
guess I'll keep following the chicken. Onward Reginald, my son. My son is like, "What about me?"
Moar alcoholism. Whoa. The guy
that keeps pissing on the background. Wow, this is a very deep board. Also, how did this tree spawn from the--
[?] It spawned from the urinaid? Okay. Click for extra path. All right. What? Oh. Okay. What do we have up here? Hit subscribe, subscribe. Are you serious? You son of a bitch. I should've never subscribed. Click for the extra path. Do not click on the subscribe button. Here. [screams] I love how all that was waiting for me
in the extra path was a violent butcher knife. I am running out of FPS. Yeetaconda.
[screams] Okay. Through the guy. Do not click the other path. Oh, through the urine. Do not subsc-- Oh, my god. Do not subscribe. Over the thing. What is that above you? I don't care. What the--? Reginald. Also, what does the pain do? Shouldn't asked. Okay. Through the alcohol, through the urinaid. Don't worry Reginald, I'm here with you. All right. Over the-- Oh, no. Oh, God. I-- [screams] There, okay. Oh, I've got to move quick. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Come on, come one, come on,
come-come-c-come one, come on. [?] Yeah. What in the holy hell? Yeah. No. Why? Why? Why? What is happening? Yes. [laughs] This is called Space Station. Oh, crap, my food is leaving me. I don't actually know
what I'm supposed to do. I'm gonna-- What the hell? Oh, like a total lack of gravity here. Oh, there goes my helmet. Technically, I think I'll be- I'll be dying from
the inability to breathe the atmosphere. I also don't know
why I brought my pogo stick with me. Almost over to the airlock. Uh, come on baby, come on baby, come on. Almost there.
Come on, come on, come on. Ow. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Knock son of a bi-- Yeah. [laughs] Hell yes. I'll piss. I fell back down to Earth. [screams] Ow, wow, you actua-- You literally can fall
all the way back down to earth. That's amazing. All right. Do this.
Oh, God. There, perfect, perfect.
Look, look, look, come on. Get inside the airlock.
Get inside the damn airlock. Come on. Oh, no. Ow.
Why is there a random woman in there? What does it take to get in here?
Yes, yes. No, no. Why does it push me out of this board? You know what? Screw this damn pogo stick.
Whoa. Well,
kinda wish I had my pogo stick right now. I'm still alive. Okay, pogo. Come on. Pogo. [grunts] Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, no,
oh, sweet baby Jesus, no. Ow, there goes my neck. Ow. Come on, come on, come on. All right, so, we're gonna try and do this
in one shot. Perfect. Okay.
Airlock, gravity. Thank you, Jesus. Well, hello, Karen. Yeah, yeah sa-- uh, sa-sa-same to
you. We got O2 canisters. All right. And jump up here. Why? Why does it look
like there's spikes on this space station? Those deceptively like spikes. Hmm. I'm very concerned about this. These won't murder me, will they?
I feel like they're going to murder me. Or not. -Okay, into the NASA--
What the hell? -What is happening? Why can I get into the NASA space shuttle?
This is really bad. Oh, my God. [screams] I-I fell- I fell from space
with no spaceship and I survived. [laughs] I always wondered
if you could fall from space and survive the impact, and now I know
if you have a total lack of brain cells, the answer is yes. Anyway, folks, I hope you enjoy
this episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time. Stay foxy. Much love.
Wow, that was amazing.
