Mum and Dad Pay for Everything! | Spendaholics | Only Human

pointin in cheshire home to Footballers Wives and 23 year-old adele mcguire like her big bucks neighbors she can't resist a shopping trip or a top-of-the-range outfit it's like buying new things that disgust what suppose from an interface who feel a lot more confident but there's no David Beckham to foot the bills and no Wayne Rooney to tackle the debts looking good and partying hard has landed Adele 26,000 pounds in the red Adele's credit cards are fit to burst so mom and dad provide rent free accommodation and a steady flow of cash she doesn't put anything in the pot but at the end of the month she wants to take it it does cause tension so while Adele piles on the little luxuries dad Terri piles on the hours it is a bit selfish really because I wouldn't need to work the overtime I doing it because I starts at 7 finish it through then go back and work safe from 7:00 till 7:00 till 10 it's a long day with both her parents and her credit cards having reached their limits Adele needs some expert attention psychological coach Mark Hopkins will dig out the root causes of her obsession with new clothes and clubbing but until you really take it seriously and really want to do it nothing will change while lifestyle expert Jay Hunt will help Adele to economize and stamp out the blowouts you're the naughty child left at home ranting and raving about life's not fair when a lot of people would be looking at you and going oh my god what have you got to moan about you'll say it's basically because I just don't want to say of my finances because if I go to the market a horrible sick feeling [Music] before meeting Adele's psychological coach Mark Hopkins and lifestyle expert Jay hunt want to know what swept under the carpet and what's lurking under the mattress they've borrowed the house keys to find out oh it's very much a sort of parent oh yeah very neat and pristine has its own place Jay's looking for physical clues while marks focusing on the psychological reasons for her addiction internet shopping just always spend money most of its on clothes or going on eBay I got a bit addicted so you've Haven stuff to go and all that quite a bit actually get a buzz of like bidding on something and like winning it it's also apples as well that you know waiting for it to be delivered in the post and like coming home from work and there's a pass away through fight in the Sun plays it's a princess's room Wow princess oh my god there's so much stuff I mean it's very neat do your little do your sort of ring trinket e thing I mean sort of classic you know waste of money taunting really isn't it I mean she obviously you know everything have you noticed she's like done a sort of designed the label it's like the Dior Jean Paul Gaultier and it's like she's sort of almost done it on a dress yeah absolutely look at this I mean it's weird because it's like adult girl dressing - all right it's like this - people almost living in the same room isn't there you got the cuddly toys at their color toys here and then all the makeup of the perfumes I think it quite often happens to people when you still live at home in that half of you is the adult who's out doing everything and then the other half is the little girl who still lives here and I think sometimes you especially if you're in the family home you revert to type 2 the outsider she comes across as a very confident person but she isn't and I think she tends to buy things and when she goes out it's like a mask it's absolutely crammed with stuff I can't even open this because of all the things on the dressing table down here loads of black bag stuff piled in here they've just been thrown in here they go all the way to the back of the other side of the bed jeans how many pairs one - what's the point a couple of times it's like oh I don't like that and I pick faults with it and it makes me not far it makes me look like this and that if I go and get something new it just it makes me feel better yeah eight not even one nine that's nine pairs well they're all very similar as well as you kind of like we wouldn't use one for one occasion and one for another it's ridiculous oh no statement statements I see what she's been spending on balance 1586 when when I run out of money I just gave my bank account and it's just we ran out of money I don't tend to keep a check on it cash cash machine kisses that's quite a lot of setting out cash and River ID and River Island River on Tesco tech skate yeah it's like quite a lot all in one day she gets the urge that day and just has to go adele mcguire lives in the village of Pointon in Cheshire where she earns 15,000 pounds a year as a legal secretary she lives with her parents and her younger brother rent free any money she earns goes on shopping and clubbing when it comes to a big night out image is everything taking taxis deep into Manchester Adele and her Posse head for their favorite clubs no Knights complete without Adele's usual tickle of too much champagne go into a local and chill it out it's Adele that wants to go out and drink and dance it's just not out drinking she's out shopping on eBay and she also hates a we spent 20 issues did I'm the one that's driving it she's the one that's drinking four times and when the adrenaline dies down the panic flares up and it's no surprise who carries the can I won't pay my bills and then you know go begging to them saying I've not forgotten to pay my bill this month you notice of any chance she can help me out she knows if she goes to Terry Terry you'll say no straightaway so she tends to come to me to sort of ask to pay this smooth the water smooth away yes they think I should be supporting myself now because I'm 23 and I should be at least paying mentors I'll say so I can see well I can understand where they're coming from I just I can't help it really [Music] to drill home the true scale of the problem mark and Jay invited em on a shopping trip with the twins straight ahead yeah no we want to come with us because we thought we'd bring you to a new shop that's open oh you might like it great let's see if there's some other things I don't know if you've realized that every single thing in this shop has come from your extensive wardrobe which part of your body just around there and it Clips around the back I think that was about 475 pounds as well and avoid it so you worn it once yeah and sort of forgot you had it yeah all these sort of course it talks like that one in the window that nice corset top you've got quite a few of those yeah that's my favorite color yeah I saw it on a girl in Manchester asked where she got it for me and she said oh okay okay so when I went into work on the Monday rang around every key okay in like England trying to find it and then he had one in Chester so I got the afternoon off work enjoy how it has to to pay it it was about hundred pounds so you were absolutely obsessed yeah I have it what would make you wake up in the morning I say I need another black t-shirt what I've already got five and probably the fit of it I don't know a different pattern on air because on average you've been spending 400 pounds of months on clothes which is four thousand a hundred pounds a year which is a lot of money to be spending on stuff that half of it you don't really like just be more picky yeah a lot more picky back at Adele's house mark and Jay deliver a further surprise it is a bit weird when it's all together and it's something like is this really how many packages I've had well so this represents all of your purchases on eBay over a year so there's one hundred and fifty six parcels here so on average you might buy three parcels a week 20 pounds of time so that goes up to three thousand one hundred and twenty pounds a year on purchase for an eBay I am shocked because I didn't think I spent that much on eBay you know cuz it's 20 pounds here 20 pounds there and you don't take count really disappointed that I've spent all that money on not nothing really so the thrill really is that moment that you press the purchase button that's the thrill and then it gets delivered and you can unwrap it I get excited about Corey now and the way through for me well luckily we don't have to put all this away so what we're gonna do now is work out what your budget is gonna be for the next seven days which is going to be your cold-turkey budget what you can really live on as a bare minimum but before we do that what we just wanted to ask you was how much you think you get through in an average week because mark and I know because we've been going through your statements terribly hundred two hundred Wow the actual amount is four hundred pounds which looks like that we spread it out you surprised by that now given that you've been spending 400 a week how much do you think is the absolute bare minimum you could spend for the next seven days and this is designed only for seven days it's not something that you're going to have to do for a long time it's basically to take away every sort of luxury so that you can really focus on what you miss where your money's going and where you really want it to go so what do you think is the minimum I think we can bring in lower ones what have you got to spend your money on next week for the next seven days um no rent yeah no food [Laughter] looking easy all right Thor secret multi birthday okay that's a deal and the other rule is you can't borrow any money from your mom or your dad for seven days okay Curtis is gonna be so hard I don't think I am going to be able to do it it's day one of cold turkey an Adele is determined to tighten the belt by staying home for dinner I'm gonna have beef steak and peppercorn sauce and I just I think Sheila's my brother's eatin this heat so I was going to have getting beaten to the cupboards by her brother leaves Adele annoying at to her fist that's a joke I think I'm just gonna give up and not bother eat it it's her blast of the jacket potatoes as well there was two like three left last night I had one so it's up to today as well as Peter well you dissin past that yeah I got that tomato sauce for you could do that it's not that with that there's no chicken or any meters er use that chicken that we got in the fridge I've ordered defrosted the steak now we're gonna happen it's nothing you're easy to figure right everything has a practically doesn't it you grateful - yeah yes I'm hungry and I'm just I just you know anything little is when you just get wound up really easy and you just day two of cold turkey and by taking a packed lunch to work Adele has yet to eat into her budget such a long day Josephine sat here you know so that's why I go out to the pub and end up spending about five six pounds everyday you know at the pub and that's not including breakfast that I already love it so it's nice to get out but suppose I just have to stay in and send shoppings out of bounds the boredom starts to smolder that notes are just the same thing every day get off go to it combat just feels sometimes I come in a bit of a well going cold turkey is hard to swallow psychological coach Mark Hopkins invites Adele to explore what's behind her constant urge to burn money looking at all aspects of your life how would you describe your life what's the highlights and the typical we'd probably going out shopping donut with my friends and going out of the weekend what would happen to you if you you stopped spending the money on clothes and going out because predominately they're the two things that you spend your monthly outgoings on I'd have to stay in and go out and what would that means here at hey sir I got shopping and by letting your clothes all the time cuz it gives me more confidence what does it give you confidence in and the way I look I don't like people saying bad things about me or anything and do they um no not really how do you feel you look describe to me what you see fat mom just boring looking I'll need that for joint before we go out that's something to feel confident alright I would say you've gotten quite quite a negative view of yourself I want you to think about a time when you've been and felt really confident you know my dad's Testament brought that cause it's yeah and I went down and bought that and then I went to a wedding that day and I felt confident in it I didn't have a drink before I felt confident I just know it sounds really stupid does that you know confident you talk about using your appearance is kind of almost like a kind of a mask or something that will detract from the fact that you don't feel that interesting mm-hmm it means that you're spending an excessive amount of money to compensate how about you you know I thought I realize how much debt I'm in and its shops me really cuz now I can't even get any more credit or anything so not that he's got to the point where I can't go any further it's not you then who's really kind of decided that this is enough it's the fact you can't get any more money that's made you realize that this is an issue you know hate it but I don't know why I keep doing it mark believes that Adele's financial incompetence has wider implications for the family household just taught me a bit about your your mum and dad I got on with my mom but I don't really get on that well with my dad and we won't meet arguing in would you argue over money just anything really you're spending basically yeah and then this month gets on underneath borrowed money just goes it's just horrible gets up when where sometimes I don't want to go home why do you choose to let that happen every month I feel guilty asking them for a bit but I don't know why I let it happen I shouldn't let it happen and I know I shouldn't be letting it happen but it's happening it's not like a spoke back do you think you are probably yeah I think one of Adele's biggest issues is confidence I think it'd be a good idea to speak to our parents about how our upbringing to see if they can shed any more light on the situation the other thing I really want to investigate is what conflict there's money causing the home I spend the six pounds on petrol and I've just been to the pub had a couple of drinks and cost me full powers so I spent a quarter of my budget that's for Thursday and I say om tomorrow is going to be Friday so I'll probably end up blowing my whole budget tomorrow night going out but I just have to see what happens hopefully I'll be able to control myself it's Friday night and the highlight of Adele's week but the 40 pound allowance is really starting to hurt yeah I'm drinking out of this champagne glass because so it's made from my three pound bottle of wine seem a bit posh yeah it still tastes bad but it looks a bit better in a champagne flute building it really roping in her dad for taxi service means more money pinching adele shown the mega Clubs of Manchester in favour of a quiet drink with friends [Music] sweet bread as the cash runs dry Adele's mates keep her lubricated she's my three powerful wine the next morning adele can't wait to flee the house so how much really if you got left then I took out 13 pounds last night and I've got five pounds fifty something left yeah five pounds yeah so how are you gonna manage it tonight I left 10 pounds upstairs but what about Sunday Monday Tuesday not important spend money on a Sunday Monday Tuesday anyway times I just wanted to realize the value of money but I can't seem to get that through to her I think if I sell a weekend then I probably spend the whole weekend depressed thinking that like you know everybody else is going out and I'm stuck in the whole week if I have build up to the weekend you need to go out and stuff so I think I'd just I don't know I just have to stay in my room and just sleep that night cold turkey tastes bitter with only 15 pounds left in the kitty Adele resorts to a night in with her parents but things don't stay cozy for long really go out with I'd say 10 15 pounds so and I decided to us to stay in have a few drinks and then Anna and grand I came round and my cousin but ended up in a massive argument with my parents last night so that were the last time I stay in ever again while Adele attempts to make a dent in her debt Mark investigates the source of her financial tidal wave by chatting with her parents Terry and Karen a recurring theme that really came through was about lack of confidence in ourselves so it's clearly got something you're aware of even if she goes out on a Friday or a Saturday now the amount of reassurance that we have together before she goes out of the door and she keeps any sure I look all right sure right don't look like this to look fat in this and I'd read it with a Friday and Saturday night if you say the least wrong thing then I'm not going it that was all your fault she will get angry and annoyed and say she won't go out and it's your fault yes you've got to be very careful what you say just to make sure she goes and she goes a happy frame of mind so do you feel like you're walking on eggshells sometimes anything is what you describe the slightest wrong thing and you know that you could get a tantrum yeah bearable do you find it living in the house with Adele been given the way you kind of describe it I'll talk to you once immigration staying here we go to Iraq here we go for a rack does it feel that bad sometimes at times d30 just really wards what's the point of carrying out this cuz no matter what you do for it nothing everything you do isn't enough from the way she described things from when we talked the other day I think a picture that she tended to paint was actually a love it was you Terry and she felt that he were being unreasonable and an overly assertive we're there how do you feel about that what's your perspective well - the same about her she's being unreasonable because she know she cheats you and it seems good money and I don't see why I should fund the lifestyle but she still knows that you will do it because we love her everything else is fine with us because she's a great girl do you think she knows who you think she's a very girl what she should do now because a lot of parents wouldn't put up with what she put us through that just say well sort of today yourself but we've tried to help her do you think there's any other reasons why she could kind of fill frustration in the household possibly her brother she feels that Daniel gets all the attention or got all the attention when he was little and why do you think she thinks that I don't really know when there was that there was a time when he was about four or five that he needed extra tuition because he had speech and nice like this like she was yeah and he needed a lot of coaching after school I thought we treated them both the same I think she see I think she sees differently she sees it differently why would she sees that Daniel got all the praise and the attention and that she didn't get any AB and she felt that she perhaps should have done and whether is positive or negatively so even the arguments with you Terry they're unpleasant Sam and she doesn't enjoy them and I'm sure you don't enjoy them but know what you need to do is to stop stop the missus just save a bit the money and put it to one side and stop coming to me I think that's an interesting point because if she's if she stops overspending the argument stop yes and the attention stops so in order to help Adele change I think the two of you are probably gonna have to change some of your babies if I'm honest with you as well and not giving because I think as long as Adele knows that if she shouts loud enough she'll get that money then she will continue to do so seven days ago Adele McGuire was paying 400 pounds a week on clothes beauty and clubbing and it's been tough but by staying in the house and staying out of shopping mouths has a Down managed to scrape by on 40 pounds a week I think of shopping or buy anything new or go out for lunch I'm still taking more lunches to work and so today I spent 6 pounds on petrol again so that's what me what's my 40 pounds so I've still got an hour to go of cold turkey book and I've managed it so yeah I'm quite proud of myself [Music] having clawed her way through cold turkey adele is going to need a more realistic budget for the future James back to offer some suggestions so I've got your new budget here now shoes and clothes at the moment you've been spending 250 pounds a month and we've not that back to 60 which is quite a big cutback but we think realistic because it's stupid us just saying it's gone from 250 pounds to zero yeah because the whole point of this is giving you something that you can work with us but no point in us coming up with something giving it to you and you going oh okay and then when we've gone just thinking that now at the moment we've got 30 pounds in for hair and we've got 30 pounds in every month for nails and we have put those to naught but I did find out that you've done this beauticians course so I thought well maybe it might be easier for you to cut down on nails and do your own and you'd rather have the money in the clothing budget so it's almost like robbing Peter to pay Paul and giving you some areas that are better than others the other area where we really have cut back is eBay what we wondered was rather than you being an eBay buyer whether we might try a bit of an experiment and get you as an eBay seller man one of the big differences is food and drink we've added in that you spend 160 pounds is that going to be something that you think yeah that sounds quite reasonable yeah okay first one down and the only other thing we've added in is rent which is not very much we've put it in at 50 pounds a month we just thought it might help you because you know obviously there are frictions with you and your parents what do you think I think it would I think that the back of it if I started paying rent and sorry buy my own food as well then when we've added all of these up it comes exactly to 1029 pounds 86 which is your monthly salary 60 pounds on shoes and clothes that it's going to be really really difficult that's like two tarps not even to touch to move on top of a pair of trousers the new budget means Adele can make regular debt repayments without sacrificing her freedom having discovered that Adele trained as a beautician JC gests another way to line her pockets now come with me Adele come in it's not scary honestly because I'm going to introduce you to Nicola now the reason I brought you here is that Nicola here does hair and beauty and runs her own business don't you which you've been running for what two years three years now yeah and what's the bulk of your work it's mainly a lot of wedding work so that's really why I wanted to introduce you because Nicola is looking for somebody who can help her out and I just wanted be interested in instead of doing that yeah maybe to prove she's got the necessary skills Adele does a little demonstration I think last time I did this is probably about four or five years ago at college is it coming back to you as a you look quite confident though the way you're picking up the brushes and mixing things and everything else that's actually looking no no it's looking better now now your blends in it no that's fine you've actually done fine with that yeah fabulous Jay hopes that getting Adele part-time work as a makeup assistant will be rewarding both mentally and financially I think it's mad not to choose something that you really enjoy to earn some extra income so yeah if Adele puts the practice in I'd like it to go and help me Saturdays yeah you say perfect no no I'm keeping I've got rid of them trousers with money of the essence Jay has advised the del to sort through her clothes and sell them on the Internet best mate Becky make sure she doesn't wimp out what was that you've just thrown on there you went white plains up you know you're not even looking oh yeah you're not gonna wear that are you gonna wear it no right well then their mortgage houses and they're about five years old coz I've got the same pad you don't happen to know over it once what these well you don't worry I haven't wore mine for years and you haven't worn yours for years but you've still got yours so why can't I keep my own because you're doing the clear-up and I'm not and you need the money and I don't you're a bit do you know you have wonderful years and you're not gonna wear him again oh yeah a way that round the house when my dad tells me I can't have the heat you know how they go my office oh no huh look beautiful right really yeah I just hope that she doesn't throw a load of things out and then go out and replace it and buy it don't want you to go out replace everything that you've just got rid of the results arrive at the click of a mouse I've got three people oh it's gone up we're getting there so I managed to sell six things on eBay and made 70 pounds after that but yeah managed to make quite a bit so might you have to stick some more stuff on eBay with some cash in hand it'll take a real effort to stop it slipping through her fingers it's just it's so hard having the money there and knowing that it's there and not being able to go to the shops and buy the top that I want or it's it's just horrible this I'm just itching to go out shopping and I just can't Adele's overspending is a constant thorn in her relationship with her dad Mark devises a plan to bring them closer together what we come here to do today is some blind driving with a catch okay so this is really about putting you in a stressful situation which you might be at home when you're talking about overspending and really about building a bond between the two of you and getting to a stage where you can trust each other and kind of believe what each other is saying Adele and Terry are not easily persuaded what are you driving wearing this okay the person who isn't driving will need to let the driver know how to get around the course but the catch is that they are not allowed to talk to that person so you what can I have to work out between the pair of you a way of communicating with one another so that you can get around this course safely you know you're writing your worth don't ya no go right took me on the right go left at me I'm on the left if we want me to stop hit me on the back if you want to go forward cough what's on the back to start I'll hit some I only had to serve you to stop a rough-and-ready track seems the perfect place to heal a rocky relationship when you talk to her about things it's yeah it was all right not sure you know and I just really wanted her to throw herself into it and I just don't really feel like she's throwing herself into in a minute it's the dolls turn to take the wheel and follow dad's instructions Marc's plan appears to have thrown up more than muddy soil I saw you smiling as you were coming back never done anything like it before it was really good my hope is that this exercise has done something to build some of those bridges again between Adele and her dad I don't think it's gone all the way to kind of resolving all other issues by any means but I think is a starting point where now they've got something special that they can talk about refer to and look back on together which I don't think they've really had before this so I'm really hoping that this is kind of the start of when things gonna move forward for them Adolphe new budget caters for food so mums no longer obliged to do her shopping normally when I go shopping I used to buy enough food for everybody the dells idea of a food shop is sending me an email and that's gonna be to get it on the way home from work so unless Selfridges start doing food I don't know what she's going to do Jays encouraging Adele to stand on her own two feet although she starts with her stomach pain seriously for yourself but never should have done like a shopping for the week and stuff like that okay well it does make a change Jay's brought it out to a farmers market to prove that buying food can be as fun as buying corsets and just as satisfying they're gonna be organic potatoes and you have to clean at least I hope you do have to pay them but I think it's worth the pony carrots bit dirty I know but the thing is again they are going to be cheaper because you're gonna put a bit of an effort in but rather than thinking oh it's boring I think what we need to do with you is give you trade off so it's like one it's fantastic food and it's cheaper and it's a fun way to shop but saving money me next you can spurn and where you really want to let's grab those I'm gonna make you do one thing that's adventurous so we could either choose the brussels or like the perk or sprouting broccoli oh I don't like to look at that or that which is this an a cross between a collector too much okay I'll carry this view let's go look at cheese buy a biscuit here's some sausages chicken chicken pieces how would you feel about cooking a whole chicken yeah who's the cook hole one of them steak their chicken on my sandwich just not a good idea easily get for me we got everything when we first started that we'd be coming out and quite so much I didn't what is gonna say see was for your homework do you think you could manage today yeah I'll make a Sunday roast this is the finished product of my am cooking my cousin's going to try some I knew Jonathan voice no they yes what do you think it's kind of hard but it's really nice are you gonna be having some maybe I made you very mess what do you think you get the passports yep confident that home life is shaping up Terry and Karen slip away for a week's holiday okay any problems call Nana yeah well when you switch your mobile on once in a while please three down okay while the new budget includes food and rent Adele's basic needs are rather different as shown by her first grocery shop just son of a cheapo shopping I bought this out highlighting kits because I'm having my hair done it's not in the budget I bought some fake plan but some moisturizer to mix with it yeah and I got some wine three pound twenty nine I'm sorry Skywalker's mines run out so that was my shot haha this is my food cupboard I've got lots of them super noodles in here eight packets of super news up in there so my dad bought the pot noodles last week sometimes for me that so just as a fallback with dad's bottomless pockets Adele's reluctant to pay for essentials it's just having to spend money on food thing and that payments that's like nearly a quarter of my wage just gone on nothing I just think food seems like such a waste of money and if I'm paying my parents rent then that doesn't cover the food really despite the new budget adele still hasn't bought any food all paid her rent Jay decides it's time for a little chat about the facts of life what I wants to do today if it's all right with you I did bring along a little Fox pop stick because I just wanted us to just have a chat with some other people young people like years and just find out from them how much rent money they pay every week because I just think it would be interesting for you being so reluctant with the 50 pounds to get a perspective on what everybody else is having to shell out in the real world not in a Dell world you up for that yeah all right let's go and find some hire guys do you mind if we ask you a question or problem and I just want do you pay rent or do you have a mortgage well at the moment paying right now the moment and read about some sponsor okay pay rent sixty three pound a week plus council tax every month shopping bills it's annoying but you have to do it because that's what we've been saying to Adele is that that thing of getting used to paying rent right it is always something else that you could be spending that money on and how much do you pay a week 200 an or 200 thirteen months right yeah I think you live in cost me about five hundred a month really so it's over a hundred pounds a week really when you add it all out definite Spungen 25 a week just to live and it's that a large percentage of your salary so that's a fairly hefty chunk it's Adele he's been living at home with her parents and she hasn't paid any rent up till now and what she's gonna do from now on it's start paying fifty pounds a month a whopping do you don't quite a good deal I think that's an immense deal to be honest yeah you don't pay anything I'm shot with her what you do when you move that out about advice would you give to her pay for it yourself I felt a bit like stupid cuz I knew that I knew people were gonna say that it's more she obviously knows that people pay rent that people pay more than her because all her friends do and she is the odd one out within that group of what I wanted to do today was to actually get her to hear other people saying I pay a hundred pounds a week I paid three hundred and fifty pounds a month I am paying what is the going rate at a young age to live an independent lifestyle and I don't live like a spoilt brat off somebody else so that's what I really wanted her to take from today was that she is the odd one out what's some reluctance but after today I've just realized that if 1250 pounds isn't enough isn't a lot and you know I can part with that really so as the truth begins to hit home Adele takes up the offer of part-time work with Nicola [Music] by spending Saturday morning applying makeup instead of scouring the shops Adele can make a 50-pound profit instead of her usual 60 pound locks yeah great thank you with cash burning a hole in her pocket temptation is just around the corner that weekend Adela crushes back to her spending 200 pounds of the Creamfields dance festival the blowout has disastrous consequences her weekly wage has been swallowed in just one weekend with two weeks till payday Adele can't meet her debt repayments as mom and dad arrived back from holiday Adele wants more than a postcard a hundred and seventy so go I'm doing the 70 pounds in your account now yeah I which is a two to five and that makes you a nothing for the rest of the month but you knew that's on the 15th of the month you knew got the pays every month it's not as though it's just come out of the blue you know for a year you go into crane fields it doesn't make sense not if you know you've got a bill to pay you put the money to one so you don't spend it it's quite straightforward it seems the mcguire family is right back to square one it's not just the exception it's regular and it's got to stop huh no but most of all when the arguments are stuck because I hate well why do that the arguments are there because you're always asking us for money and you're never giving anything and you're not contributing to anything and it feels to us like you're treating this place like a hotel and you just come in and you sleep and you religious through the comments criticize there's nothing there or you get something to eat and you don't do anything apart from that do you and you're going out enjoying yourself about money but where's that in you'd be crass will you you'd think it would be unfair this is your last chance to get things sorted out the next day Terry caves in to Adele's demands she she knew what she had to do and it was a feeble excuse to say that I had made the payments aggressor didn't have a direct heir but I went to the post office today and paid it and it took a minute to do so I can't see why she couldn't have done it there's not much you can do though what can you do to her 23 oh she's an adult you can't stop her you can't force of the stay in Kenya Mark's afraid that Terry is perpetuating Adele's reliance on her parents time to roll up his sleeves and carry out emergency repairs when scream feels and I've been looking forward to that like all year and so I didn't really want to have to go and be like oh well I can't afford that drink or something don't know so that's why I spent quite a bit of Creamfields cuz I just go and let my hair down yeah but me I guess what happens every other time you want to go out and let your hair down it's kind of the same it happened that would be the same argument every time what's your rationale for spending Creamfields when obviously you've got all these other debts I wasn't thinking about my debts to be honest I thought I don't know I'll try and block them out in a way it's just like wasted money to nurse mean and I can make in this payment each month and I've got nothing to show for it at all and then and I think I just thought well you know what I'm reading just from that little comment is there I'm so in debt that whatever I do won't make a difference he's gonna take me ages to pay off my bills then it's gonna take five years after that from a credit rating to go back to normal you know it's just so you're gonna give up then no I'm not gonna give up I'm still gonna pay my bills but it's just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel really well the line is a long way off let's be realistic the light is a long way off yeah you know there are a number of things which we talked about which you can do which will make a big difference to how you feel about yourself and your dare but until you really take it seriously and really want to do it nothing will change once believer can change but it's just going to be really really hard because now at the end I've always known that if I go out and spend the money I've got my parents to back me up at the end of the month I actually think as well as a Dell changing I actually really want Karen and Terry I want you to change as well I think there are a couple of things which you need to do as well so cannot can I get commitment from you Terry and you care and that you will not give Adele any more money yes and I don't just mean paying off credit spell I mean even like there are fifty pounds to buy food for the mother because it has to stop now but stop if he's slipping try the other thing you're also doing whether you realize it or no saying Adele by by bailing Adele out saying Adele you can't do this on your own you need our help this is really tough for you you know it's changing a lot of behaviour it's changing kind of the way you think about it's actually changing the way you think about your mum and dad so Terry and Karen what we talked about last time we're here was about putting a contract together a contract around spending and how that will work in this house once we've set this contract up we know what the ground rules out and we're going to stick to them I'm gonna stick by Terry and we're not going to give her anything even though I know that she maybe doesn't quite believe that but no how are you feeling about all of this Adele now that this said no you know I do think they will stick by it I'm not convinced that Adele's got the emotional drive to stop borrowing money either from her parents or from wherever else she can get it I think her debt is too depressing and it's not surprising that she's seeking out escapism at this point unless there are consequences she won't change but on a positive note I think that everyone's prepared to put external measures in place to make sure that her debt payments are made and that you'll stop borrowing money from her parents [Music] to cut out further temptation adele seeks help from the family's financial advisor together they set up standing orders for all her debt repayments what David loves do you get paid 15 its fifteenth every month is it yeah we're gonna take the set on the 16th okay settle right with you that's fine Charles s penalty that was the idea well Scotty yep in fact all of Adele's life is going down on paper unmarked suggestion the Maguire's draft an agreement that bans all talk of money spending or lending in the household as a goodwill gesture to her parents Adele cooks dinner alright I'm cooking chicken Madras for my parents tonight they assumed as a nice meal so hopefully you like it I've got plastic bags on the hands because I don't like touching chicken I don't like touching meat or anything and I'll eat it but I just don't like touching it I know it's one of our it's a weird thing but we're watching the Dell I'm Pepsi wants some too perhaps he'll eat chicken Madras as well no it's really spicy oh good it's make it hot make it really hot dad yeah when you come here and open this champagne for me please write this for us yeah no not there's us really okay that is gonna spell we go before serving up adele gives her panics something to toast the champagne maybe budget but her next gesture is priceless I'll give you Moran I'll pay my rent and stuff they and the 50 so I'll explain what I borrowed off your last month so go hundred and twenty there thank you either drink cheers thanks Adele thank you very much Janelle thanks a lot that's really nice - don't [Music] it's a month since Adele embarked on the road to financial and emotional stability Jay and Mark are making one last visit to pointin to see how far she's come yes I am actually pleased because um it's made me think twice before we actually spend money and when I'm spending money I feel guilty but I think also you know it's like the start of something and I think you've sort of got used to habits that have been coming grayned and it's almost unrealistic to expect that everything's gonna be really easy straightaway but I think what's happened is that you've been really honest and really open about thinking these are my danger areas this is where I can work this is where I can compromise and then leave the rest and I think you've been very open with us about dealing with all of that what you've got now is really solid foundation for moving on to you quite clear about what the boundaries are now yes I think now it's gonna be really interesting to make sure those foundations that when Bill I kind of built further on as we go into the next few months I think that's gonna be the tough time next couple of months once you've got through that I think you'll find be plain sailing off that I really truly believe that so if Mark and I came back in six months probably a happier household maybe have a second job you don't feel a need to have to go out now then presumably in spring morning yeah it's been a lot better now that we've got boundaries yeah I've got concrete sort of contracts and everything it's it is going to be I know it's gonna be hard but it will be easier in the long run quieter for you is it sorry about quieting this because it's improved adult behavior this also improved my behavior as well so I've got boundaries sustained soon as you actually have other conversation just doing your part for money yes payment at home and being at home is you know it's happier well not happier at home so I'm glad I did it in the way but it's been hard work she really click on screen for more videos of extraordinary humans you

Channel: Only Human

Views: 323,397

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Id: ZdSO9TqrLfo

Length: 56min 21sec (3381 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 05 2020