How To Recognize The Red Flags? | Tony Gaskins

hey Tony Gaskins here you know there's one thing that I always say and that is recognize crazy early and I don't want to put that in a title because I didn't want it to get flagged or anything but recognize crazy early and I don't say that loosely but what I mean is is there are always signs there are signs to a person who is irrational and you'll see those signs early on so you have to think about this and as you think about it and you you look back look back on your past relationships and think about if you can remember the first six months in the first six months there were some things that popped up sometimes in the first two or three months there were some things that popped up like where are you going where were you I called you you didn't answer the phone why didn't you answer the phone oh oh I bet you with your ex-boyfriend I bet you with somebody else weren't you what were you doing oh really so tell tell me everything you just did over the last two hours because I called you and you didn't answer the phone oh you know what I know a life when I hear one and you're lying now mind you you could be absolutely innocent you could be absolutely innocent you literally could have had your phone on Do Not Disturb by accident your phone could have died you could have it could be anything but you are hearing this and these allegations these accusations I mean you're hearing these accusations and you're like oh I didn't do anything now think about this sometimes this happens in first first six months if not the first six months definitely within the first nine to 12 months sometimes this happened you're walking in you out about you at the mall it and then saw you looking around and who are you looking at who are you looking at looks like you're looking at that dude over there oh it looks good to you or he looks good to you so you get mad at me when you see me looking a woman but now you're looking at that dude and you're like I did not look at him I was not even looking at him I was looking in that store over there I didn't even see the dude that you're talking about who are you even talking about Yeah right oh yeah oh my goodness oh this is so now you play dumb now you gonna play dumb so you see that the other signs you may see where you get into a disagreement in the first six months and he calls you a B or she calls you out of your name or he or she starts screaming and yelling start screaming and yelling and you're like whoa what are you yelling for like what are we even arguing about like why are you yelling right now like what is the issue you know I'm just tired of this I'm tired of you accusing me I'm tired of this I'm tired of going through all of this what are you talking about you get me like this you make me this way and so you're like whoa what is going on like why are you getting so angry and upset over nothing that is a red flag so think about this you see the signs you see the signs of jealousy the signs of control the signs of insecurity the signs of rage the signs of abuse so those are five signs that I just mentioned let's let's add another one inconsistency somebody could type these in the comments as I say inconsistency so like he or she says hey I'm gonna call you when I get off work get off work at 5:00 I'm gonna call you you know by 5:30 when I get home or six o'clock and then you don't hear from the person until 8:00 and then that happens again and again and again that's inconsistency that is a red flag or something happens and you actually catch the person in a lie and then they're like Oh after work I was I just went home and you know my phone was off the charger all day that works with the high so I had to just drive home and then by the time I got home I plugged my phone in and I'm like okay i'ma lay here for like ten minutes and let my phone charge the next thing you know I woke up the next morning but then you talk to but then this person doesn't know that your friend saw them at the bar so let's say something happens to where it could be another scenario you catch him or her in a lie that's a red flag you might not call the person out on it but that's a red flag and see what happens is this is this what I want you to understand is that all of these things are shown in the first 12 months but see what we don't realize is that is a seed that's a seed that's being planted and a lot of times what we don't understand is that when a seed is planted that seed sprouts that see sprouts and it grows into something that is far greater than the actual seed that was planted think about a harvest think about a farmer's harvest he didn't plant full-sized vegetables he planted little bitty or she planted little bitty seeds so I want you to understand that in life on this emotional and spiritual in plane that these seeds planted could be good seeds or bad seeds so whereas not in the literal sense because it's not gonna be like this big bad mean ugly killer tree that grows from a bad seed that was planted so not literally speaking but now figuratively speaking in the spiritual realm in our in our existence as humans there could be a bad seed of insecurity or jealousy or rage is planted and then that sprouts it grows because your presence is reinforcing it so your presence and you being there and you dealing with it and you coping it that's you shining a light of the Sun on it and you watering it every day that's what you're doing and so what happens is this behavior this negative toxic energy is being fed and it's being fed every day so eventually this person man or woman this can go either way it's being fed and being reinforced so it gets bigger this this action this insecurity in them this illness it gets bigger it gets stronger and then so what happens is it goes from a small lie to a big lie and this big lie may deal pertain to stealing money from your account or cheating on you sexually and lying about it or another seed it may go from just a seed of insecurity to then one day not wanting you to talk to your siblings or your parents and wanting you to be isolated from your good real friends and your family because of your partner's insecurities or it could be the seed of a bad temper or rage and then one day it turns into you being slapped were you being pushed you being choked and then eventually you being beaten and then eventually you being killed and so I want you to understand that this is very serious and that the red flags are there and when you see these red flags you as soon as you see a red flag you have to multiply that thing by three multiply it by three and the reason why I say multiply by three is because with time and with comfort that thing will get bigger because they the person gets more comfortable so now they start to exhibit that toxic behavior more freely because your presence has reinforced it all these years or all these months and so when you see it you have to speak to it and you have to call it out and you have to say you know what listen that's very immature of you and I'm not with the immaturity I refuse to be with someone who's going to treat me like they are my probation officer and so if that's your thing if you are still hurt from your ex then we are not meant to be and then when it happens the second time hey listen I know it's been a year since the last time it happened but I told you so we need a break I'm out of here I cannot deal with this what what do you mean what is going on what do you mean but you have to get up pack your stuff and leave even if you're gone for two weeks or we three days but you have to send a firm message and depending on the severity of that offense you decide if you are coming back or if you're gone for good because listen I was just watching the news the other day and this woman was going through a divorce with the man it was a bitter divorce and the man came back to the house and murdered the woman and all the children this is happening every day and the reason why this is happening is because that person didn't just all of a sudden one day become a murderer there were seeds that were planted and that were watered over the years and that monster in him was fed he punched the wall before he flew off the handling curse her out before I can guarantee it you know he pushed her before he they've been into it before he's shown craziness before but what happens is we think that our that's just you know he's just being a man all that's just normal oh it's my fault I shouldn't have cursed I shouldn't have did what I did know recognize it early recognize it early speak to it called it out give it a firm warning and understand listen to me understand a human can change you don't have to tell a human the same thing over and over and over when you tell someone don't you ever curse at me again that's all you need to tell them the next time they cursed at you they did it on purpose and delivery lead to see what you would do about it to see if they can call your bluff and in that moment you got to show them I was not bluffing for you here is my butt to kiss I'm out of here and this is how y'all play too many games y'all play too many game asks anybody that know me you come at me wrong you disrespect me you cut off you cut all the way off I don't know you no more I'm turning you over to Jesus I'm turning you over Jesus y'all got to stop playing a game it is Tony Gaskins we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 74,964

Rating: 4.9592748 out of 5

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Id: B-mvzThTbIM

Length: 12min 24sec (744 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 20 2019