How To Mirror A Man | Tony Gaskins

hey Tony Gaskins here I want to share a concept with you that I call mirroring and it's how to mirror a man now what I mean by this and this is so important because what I mean by this is you have to in a relationship and especially in dating especially in dating but marriage is a little different but especially in dating you have to mirror a man and what this means it doesn't mean to think like a man it doesn't mean to act like a man what this means is you don't give a man more than he is giving you so if your birthday comes first in the year and he spends $50 on you when it's time for his birthday you spend $50 on him and you say well why do I do that that sounds like playing games that you know I'm gonna be me and do me because that's not how my heart is wired and so don't tell me to do that this is the important reason what you have to understand about men men like to be served men loved acts of service more so than gifts or anything so when you are serving a man when you do for a man anything you do for a man it goes to his brain it goes to his ego and if a man spends $50 on you and then you spend 500 on him you just spoiled him and you just showed him that he only has to put in this much but he's gonna get back this much so what he's going to do is give you the minimum but a lot of times what men do is men do things and we don't evaluate our own actions and because women are lovers you will love a man even when he is undeserving and so come Christmas he may get you one gift and then he has five gifts to open well you just sent the wrong message and you just reinforced his lackadaisical minimal effort but when you mirror a man now he sees he's able to see himself in the mirror that's why I called it mirroring a man because now he can see himself and he's and and he will think he like wow this this all you got me is is is it just lifted all the guilt and then you'll be able to say well yeah you got me a fifty dollar gift so I assumed that we were just getting fifty dollar gifts I assume that just your style your personality is that you don't feel like it's a smart investment to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on gifts on a day what I never said that I didn't say that well I was just you are the man and men lead in love men always say the man is the head the man should be the head of the household you know on the taxes it says head of household and you put the man's name you know the woman takes the man's last name in marriage a lot of times in most cases so I follow your lead so now here you are you're putting the mirror in his face and so what happens is a lot of times it's like you have to give a person a taste of their own medicine and don't look at it as like it's games it's literally just allowing a person to realize that you get out what you put in in a relationship and so if I noticed it's like one mistake that I would make is my wife when she would be talking to me I may be texting or sending an email or doing business well if I'm talking to her and she's texting and doing something now I get to see what that feels like and whether she's doing it intentionally or not I get to see the mirror and now I get to realize boom that is real rule I need to be present and so don't get this twisted don't get this twisted don't take this out of context of because here here is this is the deal-breaker okay this is where you don't mirror a man when I speak of mirroring a man I'm talking about inconsequential behaviors I'm talking about like if he doesn't do what he's supposed to do in the house like take out the trash or whatever it may be or you know pick up his underwear out the floor if he doesn't pick up his underwear out the floor and you don't pick up his underwear out the floor now his underwear stays there so now you are mirroring him and he that he's looking at his underwear every day is like why don't you pick up my underwear he's like um those aren't my underwear those are your underwear and you should pick up your underwear you know you you are an adult and the thing about it is I just said that without yelling without cursing but it's direct and a lot of times women baby a man you pamper a man and you worship a man and so we lose respect for you because that man and when I say we I'm not actually talking about me and this stage of my life but I'm just saying we the male species but that man will lose respect for you because you have to understand he's not perfect he's not fully developed he's not this perfect man he is a human being and when a man who is weak in some area senses you are weaker than him then he may take advantage of your weakness and I know in a perfect world you want him to be like you to not take advantage of that weakness or to not be spoiled by your weakness or by your kindness I know in a perfect world that's how you want it to be but that's just not the world we live in and that's just not the man that you're with so understand that I'm preparing you for what dealing with nine out of ten times now if you meet a perfect man congratulation here's a cookie but nine out ten times that is not going to happen and so understand you're dealing with a human being who has human conditioning based on his past and his pain so now that the deal breaker comes here the deal breaker comes where now one thing you got to understand about me you always got to be ready to sit down to listen and learn get your notepad out cuz I'm not doing like a lot of you guys talking for three three full minutes with some fluff for some clickbait just a real deal so get your notepad out this where the deal breaker comes I'm not telling you listen to me cuz I know you already in the comments you're already in the comments listen to me I'm not telling you to stoop to his level and compromise your self-worth or your self-respect let me paint the picture clearly if he yells at you to mirror him would be to walk away to show him that if you exhibit inappropriate immature communication skills I'm going to exhibit a immature communication skill by walking away because typically you wouldn't walk away in when you're communicating if the communication is healthy so if you're communicating you storm off that would be immature but if he is stepping out of bounds and he's yelling at you or he's cursing at you you have to stop that behavior immediately so you remove yourself you don't yell back and you don't curse back you sidestep the power struggle sidestep the power struggle keep that word sidestep the power struggle so that you now disarm him so now he has just learned because now he's looking in the mirror and he says okay when I scream or when I yell or when I curse or when I belittle her or when I demean her or when I call her out of her name she shuts down and she moves on she does not sit there and listen to it and take it and start crying she does not stoop to my immature level and yell and scream and curse and demean and belittle and called me out of my name she keeps her class and she removes herself from the relationship now the question is asked well why is everything gotta be on the woman why why do we have to be the mature one you don't have to be the mature one if you don't want to but the video is for you because 95% of my viewers are women there's a video out there for the man but at the same time what you have to realize is that the men watching this they're learning too so although I'm speaking to who's listening the man is learning too and so y'all saved me that one now the other thing is when it comes to mirroring a man you don't what I mean by this and keep this in mind never compromise your self-worth or your self-respect so if he goes and he sleeps with another woman you leave him you don't go and revenge cheat because now that makes you no better than him now you're just as loose booty as he is now you're just as worthless as he is now you're just as broken and hurting and lost as he is so when he hits below the belt when he does something that is degrading to you and or to himself you don't degrade yourself or him instead remember sidestep the power struggle and you move on and when you move on now he realizes now he gets to look in the mirror and say my actions did this and this is what I deserve I'm a grown boy I'm an immature man and she's not going to reinforce my immature behavior and as a man I need to accept responsibility and I need to man up and I need to grow up and I need to learn how to behave as a man learn how to love like a man learn how to lead like a responsible person so that she can be her best and so that she can flourish and if I allow her to flourish by setting a positive example then I know my life will benefit from her being at her best so in mirroring a man it's one simple thing to bring it all the way down if you get to the end put be blessed in the comments right be blessed if you've got this far it's one simple thing one simple thing is don't give a man more than he is giving you is Point Blank period and I and don't go throwing bible scriptures and all of that let's talk about you and your neighbor it ain't talking about you and your husband and giving your husband more than he gave you it's they love your husband as the Lord no it tells a man who love his wife as Christ loved the church and they tell you to submit unto your husband as unto the Lord but the directive is given to the man first so if the man is not doing his job then he's already out of line then you will be out of line to be giving him and submitting to him and serving him when he's not in line if he's supposed to be the head so listen do not give a man more than he gives you and listen to this if he is not giving you what you need what you deserve leave him don't settle for it don't sit in it don't say well he cheated but I'm not posted cheat so I'm just gonna deal with no hasta la vista after luego bye-bye see you later whatever language you speak I'm out of here deuces I see you on the other side I'm gone Point Blank period hey this Tony Gaskins be blessed

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 142,162

Rating: 4.9504189 out of 5

Keywords: how to love a man, how much should you give a man, how to mirror a man, mirror a man tony gaskins, life coach, relationship coach, why do men want more than they give

Id: Fm5KxbstAvE

Length: 13min 41sec (821 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 19 2019