How is Twitter free? #52

imagine being in Gotham trying to sell 1/8 and Batman come break your arm when is it too late to have a baby shower cuz my mama never had one when she was pregnant with me and I need some cloves captionthis when you're on a roller coaster and you know the camera is coming up let's throw this boyfriend made this for my family's Thanksgiving last year it's a cake with ranch cream cheese icing it was pretty good I want you and your boyfriend thrown in prison for this atrocity why is there a Twitter option for everyone to just shut the Frick up how did you find out you were being cheated on his sister came up in my timeline so I was like oh my god is it her went to check her tweets and her last tweet was 32 minutes ago saying there's my brother and his girlfriend not realize I can hear them you it was 9 a.m. I was at home and hadn't seen him for almost a week girls are bad with birthday gifts your hint for a Rolex all year and she'll turn up with a jar that's filled with 22 things she loves about you what the heck is this a case of stewed ass the rock hey would you want to come to my wedding thanks brother and congrats I can't make it but remember the most important five words yes honey you're right trust me he didn't even mention a date yeah I mean that guy literally just asked him can you come to my wedding she never said when it was and the rocks just like and now sorry buddy can make it yeah I'm busy busy but wait you don't even know the freakin date during her likes but her dog doesn't bark at me when I come inside we are not the same Americans stop reading my Canadian friends we could dead-ass steal Alaska if we wanted to I didn't even think anyone is living there let me know what you think my sunday is completely open what if you walked into someone's house and this was their dining-room table I'd be walking straight back out to be honest you walk into your hookups room and see this what are you doing just wish they had different sheets I don't care about your music tastes the less I know the better dude's watch the wolf of Wall Street ones and start saying stuff like show me this pen shut up dude next up brother nature tweets out saying somebody call an uber I just blocked my boyfriend's I only have five minutes before he finds out can you please let me know if we can freak right now me want to treat my dog [Music] my version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're braver than me relatable it was not my pleasure to eat chick-fil-a today a case on this chick-fil-a receipt addressed to Daniel which says carry out - ugly sweater I hate people on snapchat that waits in the chat as you type bro can I get some privacy if someone you know is getting deeply into making bread from scratch they're deeply depressed I promise you go to your local Disneyland and grab one for your boo she said your local Disneyland like it's McDonald's yeah be right back let me just go to Disneyland is just down the road no problem I'll be down five minutes black ops one was one of the worst cool of Duty's ever made no wonder 100 fiefs doesn't have a Call of Duty team anymore simply unintelligent I'll have your nursing home attendant bring you a warm glass of milk so you can nap you seem a bit cranky next up the real Donald J Trump President of the United States tweets out a nun captioned image and you guys are not gonna believe this check it out you guys are gonna think this is photoshopped but actually isn't just go to his Twitter page and you can see this oh my goodness me that's my president wait I'm not for me you see he's still my president I don't care a Moscow farm has decided to equip its cows with VR glasses in order to relax and feel happier the calm environment leads to an increase in milk yields so the cows are given a VR headset displaying Summerfield's [Laughter] about to get some Thanksgiving [ __ ] and turns out Vic bugs decided to take to pretty much every single girl on his contact list this exact same message happy face giving thank you for always being there even when I didn't give you any reason to be you don't have to respond I just wanted you to know that and this little savage move actually works because you can see you got a reply from some chick being like oh I love you I'm always here an Envy froggy who is actually one of the girls he texted replied saying laughing my freakin ass off I thought I was special okay good night Vee froggy my friend this is why you don't mess with bad boys like fake bucks you need a gentleman like fainted sad I'm not gonna lie hahaha one time someone said Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time he heard someone ring a bell and I haven't been the same since confirmed Twitter will remove inactive accounts and free up usernames in December and this guy with the app flawless is Opie tweets your days are numbered ad flawless get the Frick out here do you remember the moments where you thought to yourself I am in love with this person in your relationship I remember when I was dating my man for a few months I found his Pinterest board of ideas of things he could do for my son and like craft ideas and treehouse options but trying to be cheesy but I knew he is the one right away there was specifically one night my boyfriend was sleeping after a hard day of working and he forgot to shut off his PC and as I was cleaning his desk he left open his PayPal and that's when I knew I loved him a lot how old were you when you realized Rotem it's just motor backwards wait until these guys find out about much wait a second um what schmuck backwards let me see her up oh my god up junior year of high school my best friend and my boyfriend were hanging out all the time without me and one day I was sarcastically like oh my god you guys should date already and then they had sex at my house and she was like well it sold me to today a woman came in and wanted her hot chocolate extra hot so I steamed it to 180 degrees Fahrenheit she then proceeded to bring it back over take the lid off stick her finger in it and tell me it's only warm that was when I realized just how terrifying the American public really is British guys be like have you heard that new playboy corty right um I'm British Don on a trance arena playboy car t-plate playboy Cooke playboy cop playboy Carty playboy corty I want to body slam every adult that cause YouTube views hits am I the only one who thinks it's weird dating someone with the same name as someone in your family like imagine dating a girl with the name of your mom and you're smashing mown her name and suddenly start thinking about your girl laughing my ass of weird wait a minute girls get bored and do their makeup guys get bored and text other girls guys get bored and play video games leave them alone facts nice to hear while I've been busy sorting my life out my ex is out here getting paid 200 pounds for sinking a gay lad off so it wasn't me that was the problem then 200 pound it's 200 pound if you don't I mean my dad found my Twitter oh God son I just found your Twitter please stop tweeting we didn't raise you this way I don't have a Twitter I have an Instagram that's it Jack told me that you had a Twitter page so I looked it up and I saw it what sweetie talking about because I don't have one this one let me pee in your mouth please what Doug oh my god that was in be brave I mean fastest kids parent I'd be pretty proud of this like how could you be ashamed of your son or daughter tweeting out they want to pee in someone's mouth 20:19 baby that's pretty normal I think now by no seriousness I've seen far worse on Twitter it's 1:30 a.m. and I'm crying at the fact that our slash cigarettes exists okay let's take a look at this happy smokes guys just be of a cigarette happy Thanksgiving y'all what Swiss Americans spirit blue Oh God look at me my cigarette dude I'm so freakin cool dog huff did someone even come up with this idea like some guys honestly sitting in that room in like hmm you know be a great idea for a subreddit are slash cigarettes I can just see it already absolutely incredible recent 648 why I hate men your tweet got me horny what's up baby gonna get some pics keep yourself how about you come and suck the life out of me we both get what we want I'm sorry but that was a 10 out of 10 comeback drove more than our 32 surprised my boyfriend's and this was his reaction everything yeah [Music] when he take fainted and hoping to be in his next video but you aren't guess I'll die ain't nobody died today boys can you believe my mates at uni and has to share a flat with weirdos like this okay so we got Fran here who likes to put her own name tag on the milk in the fridge because obviously she doesn't want other housemates to like steal her milk as she even marks exactly where the milk is at the point she puts it back in the fridge stop drinking her milk then it's pretty simple guys just leave the milk okay milk is sacred don't touch it if you haven't bought it honestly I completely understand this and I probably do the exact same thing because kids and uni are just out of control bro like you could go out and spend 20 quid on a Domino's Pizza wrap it up leave it in the fridge and you come back the next day and all of a sudden there's only one slice left and you're just so like what does and that's why I think that's uni guys like I just couldn't deal with somebody else stealing my food from the fridge definitely wasn't because I couldn't get the grades definitely definitely not a you poor underaged kid you know what the symbol next to my name means means I'm verified music got cash but you got nothing you poor non verify trash auto pay me and my verify bro some respect we verify because we have cash real life clout real cash it makes me even more sad than usual to realize I'm not verified I mean come on Twitter every single week I am putting out a piece of content being like Twitter it's the best app ever how is it free and you guys still don't respect me enough to verify me unbelievable photos of Milly Bobby Brown ads UNICEF she has to dress like this so trait stops texting her you know we text we just text each other the other day and he was like I miss you so much I miss you more he's coming to Atlanta so I'm definitely gonna go and see him I'm so excited yeah Drake yeah yeah he's great he's wonderful I love him you know that stays in the text messages [Music] anyways guys that is if this episode of has twitter free I really hope you can enjoy and of course if you want to get involved in the series do tag me in funny tweets at fainted sad I'll see you all next Sunday have an absolutely amazing day guys much love Papa peace [Music]

Channel: Fainted

Views: 1,015,239

Rating: 4.95048 out of 5

Keywords: how is twitter free, how is twitter free?, funny tweets, funny, tweets, funniest tweets, twitter, funniest tweets ever, fainted, How is Twitter free? #52, how is twitter free 52, top tweets, top posts, meme, memes, twitter memes, episode 52, part 52, series, playlist

Id: 9qKO2oMcaVA

Length: 12min 10sec (730 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 01 2019