- Ah, the Olympics, what
a lovely time to be alive. - This isn't the real Olympics, Lawrence. - What? - It's the sideman Olympics. - Ah, yes. Less events, less excitement but they all look even
more excited cause it's YouTube. - Yeah, well you know what YouTube is like we recreate what good people do with more unfit people. - Yeah. - Fantastic. - Obviously, we also use events which mean fucking nothing to anyone else. Discus, long jump and then of course, hundred metres, which
most people care about purely because of Usain bolt. He's not here today. - He's actually retired so... pretty pointless, but nevertheless let's give it a whirl. Let's see what the lads can do today. - Real Behzinga there. Tobi running quick and motor short punching a ghost. - You seen how much weight
Wroetoshaw has put on? Yeah. - Jesus. - He's not looking great recently. - Do you know what it is? It makes me feel better
about myself every day. I look at a picture of Harry every morning and think, at least I'm not him. - Yeah, absolutely. - Do you know what I mean? - Like he's pushed Santa off a roof. Anyway. Tobi leads us
away in a badly cutout version of himself to show us that we're about to throw discus. - Oh, there's... there's Behzinga there. He normally throws
sandwiches around like that into his mouth, but this time, sort of a UFO looking object into a field. - Yeah. - That's what you have to do
if you want to lose weight. Throw things away from
you, not in your mouth. - Absolutely. - That's how he's done it. Everyone wants to know the
secret? There you have it. Oh, this is JJ. I mean th- the power from
the boxing has got to help this surely. - Traditional uh, sort of
technique there, you'd say. - The wind up, he's going for it. Oh. And it's side netting. He didn't even make it out onto the field. - Other Sidemen of course worried. And it is indeed called a foul by Simon Minter, the real
Olympian amongst these guys. - To be honest with you, lacked
the accuracy of his punches. - Yeah. Harry turns around now. Wow. Is he going to be
able to put all that weight behind this? That's a big bottom. Oh, and that was a tiny throw. - Do you know that
Harry's actually thinking about doing the Instagram thing? You know where you can where tight clothes on your bum and that
cause now he's put the weight on, there's sort of a
market for that. Isn't there? - T-H-I Double C. - Yeah. - Speaking of someone
who's going the opposite way though. Every time
he looks down at those scales, he must be happy. It is Behzinga. - Oh, and you know what
it is? You know what I like about Behzinga? - He never talks about his weight loss. Do you know what I mean?
It's subtle with him. He doesn't bring it up. It's just unknown but
he's happy with himself. - You wouldn't notice how inspirational he is to most people. - No, definitely not. - Never tells you. Never tells
you how inspirational he is. Miniminter now stepping up, throwing that wild arm around like he normally does. Oh, no draw here, he shouts at JJ. JJ looks happy that he can't
draw in an event for once. Of course he says, there's not going to be a followup in America this time as Harry waves, trying to
walk across the Atlantic. And little Olympic man says dab on them. And he dabs away. Dab, dab, dab. - Swinging those long limbs about. I've seen him come out
with the showers before. - Yep. He's all limbs. Zerkaa smacks it. Be good for me, he says. - We've got Zerkaa now
going with the big windup. And it's side netting
again. That hit's the post. - Post and in though. - Is it though? - Yup, it's gonna have to be. - There's a big debate on here. - Mm. They're saying
foul, the other Sidemen. I don't quite understand
why, it made it out of the cage. That's more than
the other guys can say for theirs. - He look like he hurt his
hand there. Hope he's okay. - Yeah. - We all love Zerkaa. - Vikkstar. Well. That's
not bad for a start. - It was- It was decent. Do you know... You... you look at him and
you think... not gonna happen today but... turned up, delivered. - If only this was an
event where you could throw things with your thumbs. He'd be able to throw things so far. Look how happy he is
with himself there, like a toddler who shat
himself and he's waiting for his parents to pick him up. TBJZL, how far can he jizzle this? - The life and soul,
isn't he? That big smile. What a smile. And he's gone for it! - Overarm. That's different. Yeah, he's happy with that. Yep. Brian Lara, at his best. Steps away, may have damaged a boob there. - We told them to not wear bras. Do you know what I mean?
This is not even... They don't listen. - Come on then, you prick! - [Anchor 2 ] JJ's now he's motiv- oh no. Went with a right hook. - [Lawrence] Yep. - That's a big right hand
from JJ but unfortunately not as successful but Harry... - I was actually quite
impressed with that. Ah, yeah. - The thing is when you're
used to throwing chairs, discus, not a big deal mate. - 16 metres though, he made it. There'll be loads of kids
out there in year 9, year 10 saying I can throw further
than that. Doesn't matter. It's just between the Sidemen for now. Behzinga, ah, he's madly
overstepped the line there. That's amateurish at
best. They just said don't step outside the circle. of trust. - Minimints throws away there. Silly, tuft of hair sticks
out the top KSI's head. Just the one. - Yeah, he needs to gel
that down or something. I don't know, I don't
know what's he doing. - Maybe he's made a feature of it. Maybe it's like a fountain. - It's probably going to
have it's own Instagram account by next week. - Mmhmm. The tuft of JJ's hair. Zerkaa looks to throw
it like he's loading a mini disc player. - Not bad. Not bad. I've seen him doing a lot
of weight training lately he's got those um, little
fishing weights he's been messing around with, it's cute. - Yeah, very sweet. Speaking
of another cute thing. Vikkstar tries to throw
it as far as he can. Oh, he's gonna have to get
an axe out and start chopping the floor in a minute if
he wants to get further in this game. - Vikkstar looks different
to what he used to. He's a little more
athletic looking but you wouldn't know it from
performance wise, would you? - No. - It's not happening yet. - Tobi with an unconventional,
unbooby throw there. Wroetoshaw just says, when's lunch? - Yeah, I've heard um,
cosmopolitan has been in touch with Harry. They
want him to be the next plus size model. - That would be lovely. - On the front. - Yeah. - Look forward to that. - Not the only place he's going to be making money nowadays. Oh, that was nice. The tuft of hair celebrates itself. - Oh, he's... he's fouled. He's fouled. - Definitely fouled. One
person saying, I support West ham. - Do you know what it is? This isn't going as well as I thought it would, Lawrence. - You thought this would go well? - Yeah. The thing is,
a lot of these events go according to plan but
Harry's not in them, is he? - It's that little Game of
Thrones fleece that he has which is gonna make him throw further. Behzinga seems impressed
but is the Olympics judge? Yes he is! That one was 17.10. - Wow! - That's big. - He's done it. - Yeah. - He might win this whole damn thing. - The little boy who comes
from an island, lovely. - I really wanna do it
good, that's the thing. - Well, this is your last shot. - Behzinga steps out now.
Throws it like a custard pie. Get that food away from me. Harry runs out to the middle of the field. Is it still intact? I
could eat that, he shouts. - No high fives from the boys. - In the same ways he
high fived that discus. I like all the a... Whoa what is going on there? - Those tiny aliens
inside that spaceship will be upset with that landing. Throw, he shouts. Independence
day all over again. Of course, the UK's Will Smith. - Zerkaa, Zerkaa, Zerkaa, Zerkaa, Zerkaa, Zerkaa. Oh, nice.
He's laughing already. He's not taking it seriously. - You don't see Olympians... - This is a professional game. - C'mon. - That actually looked decent though. - That's a banger. - Difference here, none of these guys... - Oh, the dance. He's done it! - 19.20, the year he was born! The grandfather of the group. - Josh Zerkaa takes the lead. - That was pretty impressive actually. - Got the fastest car as well. - Tried to roll it out
there, that's unconventional as spaceships don't
tend to be able to roll. Yep. He's trying to explain what stupid technique he used there. No, doesn't seem to be
encouraging the other guys. Foul, they shout. Why is Harry wearing a sheep? Not in that way. - Tobi, ah to not bad. This is hard work, isn't it, Lawrence? - Yeah. - I hope we get our tracksuits that we've asked for because if we don't this is an even bigger let down right now. - Yeah. Someones gotta
to get something out of this. We want to make
sure it's free merch that we get. - Yeah. - Yep. Behzinga there, trying his best. And that's a lovely
long fade on that shot. And at the end of that you
see Josh leads the group. Fantastic stuff. Foul in the beginning but finished well. - The dad comes good. He's got the power. - Yep. Absolutely.
Simon and Tobi coming in 3rd and 4th respectively. - I can't believe JJ is bottom. I thought he would have
been the best at this to be honest with you
but that's how it is. - He didn't include the
boxing in this and that's all he seems to be good at nowadays. - He doesn't care about anything else. - They should have put
Tinder in there and see how he did. - Oh, then he would've
knocked it out the park. Wouldn't he? - So to speak, yes. He
doesn't actually knock people on Tinder out
the park, that would be illegal. - Now I'm looking forward to this, mate. I've always wanted to
see how far these lads would jump if they were
chased by things such as um, like a real job, for example. - I'm told that these
guys are actually going to be raking longer than they are jumping. - They're raking the money in. - Yep. If each one of
those grains of sand was a pound, you still
wouldn't have enough grains in there to cover how much
money these fuckers have. - That's JJ! - Oh, there he goes. - Oh, that wasn't as impressive as I thought actually. - Nope. - He thought he was jumping
into a load of money like Scrooge McDuck used to. - Yep. - But it's just sand. - KSI McFuck, they call him. Into the sand Harry's gonna throw himself. Of course he lives on an
island so he's used to sand. Yep. Out he goes. - Not bad. - Nice. - Not bad. - Mm. The olympian says, pretty good. Throw yourself further,
that was salmon-esque. - Oh, here's comes
Ethan. He's got a bit of a dodgy knee unfortunately.
So I'm not expecting a big number. - Could be bigger than some of the others. - Um, knowing him though
he'll add on the amount of calories he's burnt off
for the day and that'll be his total. He'll cheat.
Do you know what I mean? - Yep. Simon Minter looks to throw himself as far as he can. - He's made for throwing
through the air, isn't he? Look at him. Wow. That was good. That looked good. - He loves the beach, doesn't he. - I'll tell you what doesn't look good... The highlights in his hair, mate. You're heading towards 30 it's time to cut that out. - Yep. - Do you know what I mean?
You're getting older now. - Age gracefully. - Like Zerkaa. Speaking of which. Boom. - That is fine wine jumping
into a big pool of sand. Ah, George Clooney puts
his arms up, I'm so happy, I love Nespresso, he shouts. - He is the George
Clooney of YouTube though, isn't he, Zerkaa? - He is, yeah he is. Yeah. - Who would be the Brad Pitt though? - Probably Vikkstar. Yep. - Hmm. I'm not sure about that. - Oh, sorry. He jumps almost as far as he can. - Vikkstar would be like
the sort of the little one who's really good
at breaking into banks and stuff wouldn't he?
The little bendy one. Oh, that looked good. That looked strong. - He was looking as if
he was jumping like a wild pack of dogs that
was chasing him there. - 5 metres! - It's fair to say that
the dogs would have also have made that jump though. He'd be getting mauled
to death right now if he was being followed by dogs. JJ not running from a big dog, maybe a Jack Russel, at this point. Jumped about as far as one as well. - 4.4, that's solid from JJ. - Yep. But not leading, so. - Surprising. Oh, this is a quick runup. - Wroetoshaw! Pretty sure
with his stance there. - Once again, if his mother
had been here, down there that would have been an easy
one from elbow to the head. - Yep. - Like macho man Randy Savage. From the top rope! - Are you saying he's a Randy man? Speaking of Randy men,
that was much further than... - His sex drive's gone way up since he's lost all that weight. Did we mention that yet? I'm
not sure if we've mentioned... - You've kicked that dead donkey enough. - Nah, we need to cover that. - Yep. Miniminter screaming down the runway. - He's a man who's had no
problem with erections. We all know that. - Ah, sadly Zerkaa was
never gonna make it as far. No, no, no, you've
overstepped the line there. Just like this commentary. Yep. You can see there,
clear as day, in the replay. - That's a foul. That's a foul. - And that funny little man says... - Here's come the star himself. Vik runs at Harry. - One, two, three! - That could have ended badly. Do you know what I mean,
it's a bit disappointing. Cause um, I was thinking
a long hospital stay might be the only way we get Harry to stop eating as much. They don't feed you
very well in hospitals. - No. - Terrible. - Tobi throws himself almost as far as the end of the pit there. - The man is athletic, isn't he? He's just is a beast. - Please don't make me play on Sunday. Nope, he cannot make it to 5.05. 4.75. JJ jumps. Nope! You'll need a private jet to get further than that, mate. Thankfully, you're the
one that can get them. Ah, take off, he shouts,
where's my champagne! - No. - Harry throws himself down there. Sadly, tax avoidance isn't
one of the events today. - Down with the reference there. - Thank you. All that motherfucking money. - And we have finally
Ethan with a little jump. And a little bump. But he's lost. No longer does he look pregnant. - Really gotta stop referencing that. - I'm just saying how great he looks. - Simon throws himself
almost as far as Tobi. - Straight into the DM's, that's Simon. - Yep. - That's exactly what he looks like. - I honestly doubt... - Slam! - Nope, not enough. Not enough. Close, but no donut. - 4.95 though, that is... - 10 centimetres off. - Which is, you know, not a lot. - He's often told that
between him and Tobi. Zerkaa. Yep. Mediocre at best there. Poor, poor Zerkaa. - And that's it. Oh that was a good one from Zerkaa. I think he might be second in the... - That is nothing to... I
think he's second to Simon if you consider second to be third. Vikkstar trying to run like a human. Doesn't quite achieve it. The other boys look on. Congratulations, you played yourself. No. He's trying to laugh
along with them but no one's impressed. - No, we all know the truth. - You know what though,
3.90 is pretty good. - What was that run. It's a strange little run he's got, isn't it? I love the commitment in
which Tobi throws himself. It reminds me of when
he leaves comments on Instagram girl's pictures. - Yeah. Every time I go to like
to like a girl's picture, Tobi's already been there. - And he made it 5.20, so
he went for gold. He got it. - He's everywhere, he's everywhere. He's all over it. - That was the superman technique there during this montage. Vikkstar goes for the,
'I'm jumping a horse.' Didn't quite make him jump
as far as he needs to. Yup. And as we thought, Tobi finishes top. 25 centimetres ahead of
Simon and way ahead of Ethan right down there at the bottom. We have to feel sorry for Ethan. If he'd have been able to compete today you've got to feel those strong legs would have boosted him so much further. - He's beautiful. He's a beautiful man. That's a damn good podium though isn't it. - Yeah. Surprised they got this kind of production level. - Oh now this is it, this is what we've all been waiting for. Who is the fastest Sidemen member? - Yep. - Genuinely looking forward to this. - Yep. Over a hundred metres
you'd say Tobi has to be one of the best. - Tobi's got to be favourite. I think Tobi... I'm leaning... I'm
thinking Simon or JJ would be a good second. Maybe, maybe one of them might sneak in first, I don't know. But they'd be my two immediate picks. - Josh just happy to be there. And then the real
Behzinga, you've gotta say he's looking great. Wroetoshaw, can he run 200 metres? - He's a odd little man isn't he? - Yep. And then the classic kiss from KSI. - The kiss of death he calls it. - Clever. Ah. And that is indeed a
character from an 80s movie. Here we go. And they're off! - Who's up first? - Strong start here from Behzinga. - My... good god, Behzinga's so fast. That's incredible, he
takes his own face off to check if the line's far away but no the line's closer than he thought. - I've seen something like
that in Men in Black once. - Yes. - Took the face off. Harry looks like he's
gonna throw up, bless him. - As always. He put all of his... oh look at that. - The cameraman is
probably the quickest guy up there by the looks of it and he's carrying a camera. Well done to him. Shout out. - Incredible work. All of them
followed by their shadows. - To be honest, it looks
like we've got Tobi in second and JJ in third
just... Surprisingly, Harry carrying all that weight, did well. - Mm. Rumours and
controversy following each of these guys which is
why they were running so fast. - Mm. - They make it over the
line just... I'm surprised that Zerkaa was pretty much last. - Yeah but you know,
he's a methodical man. He likes to plan ahead
a little too much and he couldn't plan for this. - Yeah that's a very good point. All of these guys worried, of course, that someone will see they're
not as athletic as they originally wanted to. - I'm surprised. I'm
surprised at this really. Ethan coming in first,
despite having a knee injury. What an upset, Lawrence. - No, no upset here at all.
I always knew he was quick. You could see on his
feet. He modded them the same way he did that
ridiculous car and that is why he can do so well. ♪ Yeah this is my life ♪ ♪ I'm doin' what I wanna ♪ ♪ I ain't tryin' to start no drama ♪ ♪ I'm just livin' for the summer ♪ ♪ Said I'm living for ♪ ♪ it's my life ♪ ♪ I live it for the summer, yo ♪ ♪ I live it for the summer set ♪
