Do men read women? | Talks with Tony

hey tony guys here popping in with another episode of talks with tony now we're moving right along now for those of you i mentioned on a video about a relationship credit score and so i got the site up it's relationship relationshipcredit.com it's just for fun you know just something where you can go and rate your last relationship or your current relationship or if you want to answer the questions as if you were answering it for your dream relationship so just answer answer the questions as if like okay this is what i want this answer to be and and at the end you get a relationship credit score and then from there you know you're able to you know you can share it with friends and family tell them check it out you know see where their relationship it is just for fun but it is based on over 20 years of relationship studies so you know have fun with it relationshipcredit.com text all your friends and family so they can check it out thank you very much and it's crazy how you see how just talking on these videos just something hit me that day about like you know subtracting this amount of points if somebody do this and giving this amount of points if somebody does that and if it burps something you know that's that's literal so here we go this letter decent length um the person titled it how men interpret body language but i'm not sure what the title will be on here hello i followed your channel for quite some time now and watched many of your videos i've heard you touch on the topic of how men read women's behavior in terms of a female seeming desperate i wanted to know if you would be able to speak on the topic of men possibly reading a women's a woman's unspoken slash non-verbal language i.e body language etc and how it can be perceived i've had a bit of an uncomfortable situation come up this year that deals with what i'm talking about during the early part of this year i ended up getting a new male supervisor not knowing anything about him at face value i was strongly attracted to him and embarrassed myself when he first introduced himself at my office i gather he picked up on the way i was acting and possibly thought i was going to try him example stumbling over my words losing my train of thought perhaps my face and or eyes told on me even though i tried hard to play it off he politely inserted that he was happily married for a long time with children etc in the months to come he seemed to start having a dislike slash disrespect toward me as his subordinate and we even fell out over me needing to switch my schedule due to child care issues at one point he started being rude slash mean toward me for a short period after that before eventually unofficially apologizing in his own way and has been nice ever since what has been strange amid all of that even though he has seemed like he doesn't like me compared to others in my group mostly males he also has had a flirtatious vibe whenever he is face to face with me it's just extremely subtle things that could that could be nothing that come off as flirting a tiny bit or testing the water to see what i do i have kind of felt i have kind of felt that even though i meant no harm in my attraction to him never flirted that he somehow held it against me for some reason things have been awkward and uncomfortable at work and i do plan to transfer when i get the chance i just want to try to learn from this so that i don't repeat this experience this situation is a new one for me what are your thoughts respectfully well i'll tell you what my thoughts are initially is that you reading too much into it it that's all it is you know with this right here there's no science to this um this is an individual experience that's not going to be across the board this is an exception to the rule if you are flirtatious or not flirtatious but if you look like you're attracted to a man he's not gonna turn around and just insert he has a wife and kids nor is he going to be rude and mean to you for no apparent reason so this is you bumped into a man who he just a one-off you know this a one-off guy the average everyday man he's not going to do that um a whole healthy man is not going to do that this man here he got a little issues this man could be married with kids and could like men and so and this sound a little bit more like a man who like men because even if a man has a wife and kids and he is faithful he's not going to throw that in your face just because you look a little flustered if anything he's going to be flattered by that he if he's a faithful man he's not going to play into that he's not going to say oh you look a little you know a little flustered like everything okay i mean you know i know this right here he's not going to play into that he's just going to act like he doesn't notice it because it's socially awkward and typically what i notice sometimes now is if he is heterosexual he likes women he could also be attracted to you sometimes when humans are attracted to someone we're more sharp and standoffish and rude when we are attracted to somebody so that's the other flip side so if you don't sense anything that you know he could be covering something up by having a wife and kids but deep down his energy seemed like he may be into his own kind then it could be that he kind of a little attracted to you and it it could be upsetting him that you're not coming on to him that what he thought he saw he kind of fooled himself because you didn't ever act on that you you never shot a shot you never flirted with him and so it could have been an ego check a gut check like whoa okay i thought she kind of was a little flustered there but then now she just treat me like old average everyday rooted pool and so i'm gonna be rude and nasty to her and one thing i've noticed over the years is that people men and women alike try to be rude to get onto people's skin to get a reaction from them you know in in my career as being you know somebody online that's sharing my perspective online i've always noticed that men and women who want my attention they're in a real way or in the wrong way they'll come with an attack they'll come with a critique with some criticism versus praise versus saying hey you're doing a good job keep going they'll come with hey you need to be careful of this you need to change this you need to do that of that because they know that humans typically respond to the negative instead of responding to the positive people know that that's why you'll see me on the video and you'll see anybody who do videos always mentioning what a hater is saying always mentioning what the negatives say and we don't go down the list of all of the praise and all of the compliments because if you do that anyway people don't think that you're bragging and people gonna think you're arrogant people gonna thank you whatever conceded and then when you mention what i hate to say people don't like that either oh you just eating order haters don't say nothing so you really can't do nothing but what you're supposed to be doing and just serving in your gift that's all people want from you but people humans know humans so when a man is rude for no reason at all it's typically because it's one or two things but only you will really know because you right there with him but you can't take it so so personal to where you about to uproot your life and and uh transfer just because there's a little bit of you know y'all don't have perfect chemistry like if you do that you're gonna be up ruining your life from every job in the world you know because you always gonna be working with somebody who y'all just ain't gonna click you know perfectly so understand this it's one or two reasons number one he like men number two he like you and so but if it's number two then that shows you that he's toxic and immature because if a man is a pure-hearted man and he's mature if he likes you that he's going to be even more nice to you to make you like him if he's being rude to you then that take it back to the the childhood playground where the little boy who like the little girl would go and pull her ponytail and it's really because he got a crush on her but he doesn't know how to express himself and say hey you know i really like you will you be my friend can we play in the sandbox together he doesn't know how to articulate that as a five-year-old you know or eight-year-old or ten-year-old so instead what he does he go and grab that ponytail and try to yank it out the back of her scalp and she whoa and she crying but really when it all come down to it his mama go talk to her mom and say well little johnny actually has a big crush on her anytime i say her name he blushes he turns red you know and you know if he blight you can't see if he blushing but the mama could tell if he blushing and so then the other mama like whoa well you know what i understand that i get it but you just need to tell him do not be pulling her hair because that is unacceptable so if he likes her he needs to be nice to her and and you're going to work it out but as adults ain't mama ain't coming in to intervene and coming to the job to say hey you know my son is being rude to you because he got a crush on you and your little butt hurt that you not flirting with him and that you're not shooting your shot like some thirsty women do because he is your superior on the job and so because you're not kissing his butt and you're not sucking up to him it's hurting his ego and he lashing out on you nor is mama coming to the job and saying hey you know he act like this when he get a little flustered because ever since the age of such and such he'd been a little confused about which side of the plate he wanna bet on and so when he feels like a woman likes him he tried to be rude to her because he feel like it's gonna expose him if she comes on to him and he turned her down and but he really turning you down because he actually more into men than he is into women and it's more so that he into men than it is that he's a faithful man because if he was just a heterosexual faithful man that's no that's no reason to be rude and nasty to you for no reason he could just be cordial with you and if you shoot your shot he then could let you know um i'm married point blank period with no extra energy to it and so that's what you got to understand on a situation like this right here you know and now the truth is men do read women uh women read men as well now what you have to think about you got to think about the mindset and i don't know if this true or not or if we just put into roles like i don't know if a woman would be a better warrior than a man i don't know we could look at our life and we could look at like okay you could go down the line and say okay well can this woman right here you know fight better than her husband if she's stronger than her husband if they got into it and they knuckled up who's gonna win and if you go down the list of ten relationships nine out of those ten relationships you may say the man is stronger the demand is you know whatever bigger hands stronger muscles if that was something physical the man would most likely win you know the woman would have to use some type of you know other instrumental item to win and so when you go down the list nah nah it's going now it's gonna be some situation now where you're gonna see that woman and you're gonna say oh yeah but she'll mark the flow with her husband look like she'll beat the brakes off a man you hit me a woman too so every night and you'll see that situation but nine out of 10 times you probably gonna say i think that man had an edge if it was a physical competition and so because of that what do they do is that natural is that god made yes that strength the physique the build that comes from genetics so that means that's how god made it so then when we come down to men having to go out for their country to go and claim some land in other parts of the world in the beginning they just would send them in they would send them in and they would let the women stay back with the children now today you have women that's also in the military that's going out and it's just not as many as men but it's a lot of women in there i have um several clients who are women who are in the service now they're not in combat typically they do something in in you know um back at the base or you know they do something like with the computers or some with the planes or you know something like that um just some type of work they're doing um but there are women who are in combat and it just may not be proportionate and so when you look at this the way i look at it i say well if god made men with the the mindset to where their mind to where a man's mind in combat could be more aggressive and read the situation differently and that his heart can kind of you know tune out the fact that he's getting ready to take a human's life and and and and it does it easier than a woman then what that means is if this man is going to be put in position like so if the man is sent out to hunt to where you got to go out and hunt and you got to get the food now before they had you know mechanical situations that was created that man had to make something handmade makeshift and go out there and hunt whether he throwing something whether he's sneaking up on something whether he catching running up on it catching it and breaking the neck you know hitting it with some stabbing with some so before they had a okay some physical mechanical they had to have something else and so now you got to think of the mindset you got to think of the mindset that that takes and that's why i try to help women understand when you think of this mindset that that the average man has that that makes men very sharp and keen on body language on reading people and that's why you have more male street people in the streets okay doing missions in the streets then you have women now you have some thug misses out there that's out there on the missions too but when you out there in the streets and i was out there for five years of my life five summers it was all men it was all men out there when you out there and so and one thing that i learned is when you out there every now and then you'll see a woman but she with her man and he might be doing a drop or he might be dropping off he might be picking up and she might become a casualty if something pop off and he got her there just because really technically he's soft-hearted and he's not supposed to be out there and he need her for moral support and comfort so in between the runs in between the missions he booed up getting the back rug getting the head rook you know making love doing all that cause really he ain't really built for that idea and but when you out there what what you have to do is you read people really fast so i was out there one time and i had a lady friend that was there and i i wasn't supposed to be out there i wasn't supposed to be out there i was i was off as a um piece of cotton in hot sun but i was out there though cause i was like about that money you see because i worry about the money i won't learn about no respect and clout and power i wanted money hey let me make somebody here cash y'all got out here and i remember one night it was about 2 30 in the morning and the boy texts me you know he texts me hey we need something i was like okay so all they finna get the ready to spin is ten dollars so i walk up and the young lady she was thinking about nothing this was just like a friend this wasn't like a girlfriend or nothing like that it was one of my home girls her home girl was in town and her home girl just ain't want to be cooped up in the house with her home girl because the home girl was pregnant so she was like hey you hang out with tony so she was hanging out with me i wasn't attracted to her it was no funny business all right so we just hanging out but she from l.a we in florida so she's from l.a so she kind of trying to act like she'll look good you know and all that so we out there and i don't know if she thought of anything when we went to drop off the hilla 10 worth of stuff but we walk up it's 10 guys standing out there 2 30 in the morning and they stand like in a little semi-circle so i had my little bag my little book bag with my stuff in it and so i said hey holy bag and i'm handing the hood and i reach in there and i grab my little tool okay i grab my little tool and pull that out with my little work and they like the uncle it was the uncle and then he had nephews and friends or whatever and they was known for breaking in kicking in those and robbing in in the neighborhood they were what they were known for and so because we was in tampa they were from pahokee florida and so and immokalee florida and so they were known for that robin and so i'm like okay y'all spending ten dollars and it's ten of y'all so i pulled at two because i knew something was getting ready to go down cause they don't take 10 of y'all 2 30 in the morning pitch black dark to spend 10 dollars y'all often try to jump me then try to rob me and you got your your visitors up here so the guy who texts me i knew who he was but the people that i was dealing with i ain't see him so i'm like this clown trying to set me up so when i pull that old tool the uncle he probably his 30s early 40s at the time man what you doing you know you ain't about to pull that if you gonna use it i say who said i ain't gonna use it oh you're gonna shoot somebody you're gonna shoot me i said i ain't saying that i said i just got to be ready oh man we ain't gonna do nothing you we gonna do i said ten of y'all out here to spend ten dollars so how you think that look oh man we ain't gonna do that we better do that all right i know you even do nothing nah and so you have to read you got to be able to read a situation where if if you just naive to it you just they'll just oh hey yeah how you doing oh here you go somebody went outside your head so that's the thing and and i haven't seen it happen and so that's how men are wired man we wire to read into stuff we read in the stuff we read energy and when me and my wife were young and i used to catch her in lies i catch a lie just because i could see her her chest do this her chest come out just a little further than normal and i and i why you breathing why you breathing hard your heart beating fast and and she wouldn't know that she's showing no sign and it'll be a little a little white lie ain't about nothing lying about nothing you know but she just was being a pr she a perfectionist so she wanted to be perfect never want to make a mistake you know never want to do nothing wrong and that's how she was raised that's how parents made her be and so she come in a relationship like that and i had to check and say listen you got to be transparent you got to be open and honest about whatever decision you'd have made whatever you need to do you got to be open and honest and we won so if your friend need to borrow some money and we won you got to come to me and say hey can i loan this money to my friend and i said if the answer is no then the answer is no because we won just and vice versa if i need the long song if somebody asked me for something and i'm going to take money out my household i got to come ask you and if you don't agree with it then i'm not doing it and so point blank period and so we had to have that connection but she couldn't realize she didn't understand how anytime something was off i could immediately pick it up when she thought she wasn't sending no signs and that's how men are and so what i've noticed too now that's what i notice pure-hearted women they don't bring any negative energy like pure-hearted women that i interact with that online a pure-hearted woman she she just she peaceful she herself but a woman who may be a secretly attracted to me those women are trying to be rude try to be nasty try to be short like you could just be you could be placing an order at the restaurant and if the woman is attracted to you she's just short and nasty for no reason when i say short any time i hype i'm time i just yeah no yeah uh-huh no and uh it could be a woman who is a tr who is attractive and this woman who acting like this may not be attractive or she may be a tractor but it go the same way because her heart feeling something but instead of her just being pure it's almost like she trying to mask it not realizing that if you actually would just be cool calm and collected nobody wouldn't even assume anything and that's what i had to learn too but with my wife like when we'd be around my homeboys you know if she i had to be okay with her being talkative because where i come from where we come from a woman really don't talk to another man like your friend yo who a family like she don't make no eye contact she don't do no talking but if we come from old school the worst stuff was controlling in relationships where women didn't have no voice so as i grew and i matured i tried i had to realize like okay if my wife all up in the conversation and she doing all this talking and keep keying but i'm standing right here i know she's not crazy enough to be flirting right in front of me so if she talking and having a conversation and she in the conversation with us then her heart must be pure now if she said no if she was to be sitting there looking all and i know this guy get a lot of women and that he do a lot of sleeping around and that women think he attractive and she's just sitting quiet as a church mouse now that's gonna tell me okay all right all right okay so what you feeling over there you see what i mean and see so that's how men read into stuff now here's the thing men could read into some and be all the way wrong be all the way wrong but the power is in you knowing that you're being read and so then and all you have to do in this is just put the shoe on the other foot they put the shoe on the other foot and so now i see with me with my pass and where i come from i stay out of the way like i don't do no talking and keep ken with my wife friends i stay out the way if they come up and they talk to me and they laughing and they just talking or whatever i talk to them and answer their questions and all that but i don't try to be all overly conversational because i know what i come from and i know how sometimes if like if you use the strip if you come from stripping you might still have that strip of energy even when you're the first lady it might still be able to look just could tell like so i know if i was a womanizer i still could have my energy still could say something that i don't even know it's saying so i stay all the way out the way i stay all the way out of the way because i don't want anything to be misinterpreted i'd rather them say man he is super quiet which i am very quiet but i'd rather him say man he quiet he standoffish he don't say nothing or he's serious or he by business like i'd rather them say that than them to feel like i think sheree husband was kind of flirting with me i felt a little something like say that in the head i'd rather them think i don't like them because he is different coming from a woman than coming from a man because the man is the pursuer the man is the one who does the pursuing so a man energy being all extra talkative and all of that that's come off different than a woman energy being talkative and cordial and friendly because of who pursues and who does it and so you have to think about this and just understand this is how energy is being read so when you talk to a man you have to you should talk to him like you talking to your dad so you know or or an uncle or like a you know like a business person like if or if you're talking you you should talk to him like if you talking to me you know i'm married and you know i don't want you and you know you don't want me and you know i'm taking so your energy going to be it could be fun and you could be friendly or whatever laughing or you know cordial but your energy is pure you're not trying to so some women hey tony how you doing hey i love that message right there that you did hey congratulations hey high five hey keep doing what you doing that's one type of energy that's very friendly but it feels pure this other type of energy if a woman is like oh yeah yeah uh uh uh so yeah uh well so now it feel like whoa like come on so you flustered what's going on and so i never really experienced that i never really experienced that but i know what it looked like you know from the movies and just kind of you know just imagining but that that only gonna happen to a man that's over six foot and he just built like a greek sculpture us over here on on the other side of six foot that don't happen to us ain't no woman tripping over the words over over men under six feet so you know i'm 5 10 and no one tripping over her words so you got to understand so i know in my mind what you kind of describing but i ain't never experienced that so now what you have to realize not if not he'll go to the other side which i have experienced is when a woman trying to be sexy oh hey boo oh yeah okay so so so all right so how many of them did you want to order okay and what you want a cheeseburger okay huh all right okay all right and i and i remember a lady she came which is she watching videos she's like damn man i shouldn't did that but i was getting ready i had to order some food and she was like she was looking and then she came and i was getting ready to leave and she came and she said hey i just want to let you know that you looking as good as your car looking all right and i'm like okay thank you now that was her kind of shooting her shot because you don't really say that and then expect the man to say oh okay thank you what what is supposed to happen right there is the man if he's single and available so i'm married so all i could say is thank you i'm not feeling to try to reprimand her and say listen man don't don't come out here shooting a shot that is so nasty and tacky man do not ever do that again in your life i ain't going to make her feel stupid like that i ain't going to do that to her so i said oh thank you very much so when i pull on out nah i got a ring on so she looks you've probably seen that now she probably saw that last and she probably could have kicked herself later but now also it was something that go with it it was something to go with it she had on a one piece a one-piece spandex the the bodysuit had on a spandex bodysuit so you could see every curve crevice everything okay you could see camel all right donkey camel toe in the front donkey in the back you can see every head lights you see everything and so now when you see that kind of outfit right you see this kind of outfit it's very uh seducing it's very revealing so if you have on that kind of outfit and then you come and shoot your shot if women shooting their shot was common then it would not be shocking if it was just the way of the world if it was customary for a woman to pursue the man it wouldn't be it wouldn't be shocking that's not customary yes some women do it but it's not the norm and it's not customary it's not what's taught nobody raised their daughter and say hey you go and you pursue every man that you want you want to hop on that pole little girl listen you go tell him hey put it on me nobody does that today daughters some people do that today sons not hey you wanna go get em man hey go out later man hey go get you something man hey come on it's a difference between the way people some people treat boys coming up and some people treat girls coming up so now here's the thing from her outfit i assume that that could happen so because this was a caucasian woman so you got a caucasian woman she got on a bodysuit she working in the hood she got colored hair her hair got colored to it she got tattoos all down so what it said to me what i read is this is a woman who was raised around you know blacks and hispanics and so she has she's tried to adopt the lingo not realizing that the accent comes from either it being the second language or a lack of education not realizing that certain people would try to talk like a certain culture thinking that oh that's just how they talk no that's because their grandmother could not read or their great-grandmother could not read so the the gram the grandparents were hearing the words but had never read the word so in trying to repeat the word they were saying strawberry instead of strawberry they were saying amalams instead of ambulance because they never read the word so now the word is passed down to they mama the person mama and then the mama saying amalams and strawberry to the child but nobody reading books now when somebody start reading a book they say oh it ain't mlms it's ambulance wow it ain't strawberry and screech it's strawberry and street oh my wow but see here's this young lady she raised around this culture so she in the same hood in the same neighborhood so guess what she got a black boyfriend she got black baby daddies everybody in poverty everybody struggling with education and so now everybody talk in ebonics broken english and so she becomes she get out of herself and she becomes something that she is not because she trying to be like this other culture which for that culture is natural that's just who they are her actual culture could know something different could come from something different and just end up in that place and so now you having this outer body experience you're having this alter-ego experience and so then this woman this caucasian woman creates this character that looks even different than the women she's around and that she grew up and so she's trying to she she become extra she doing the most whereas it was her equivalent was a black woman who walked out who walked out and looked over at me i looked up the lady looked at me and when she looked at me the black woman had on the same kind of outfit you know some spandex or something she look and she and she look and she just she walking and she just keep looking so i turn my head hold on because first i you know it catch your eye you like okay look at that and then somebody keep looking at it so you kind of like okay this is my classmate like do i it's one of my clients this is somebody i follow me online like you getting ready to speak but then i realized oh them eyes them eyes saying something different am i saying but so now here she is of the same race of the same culture she going by her business now the caucasian woman when you in a situation and you in a culture are you in an environment that you not it's not uh created or is it's not the norm for you for your for your race so it's kind of like another example is like the pastor kid people always say the pastor kid the worst ones it's because they overcompensating trying to fit in so the pastor daughter end up sleeping around more than the worldly girls who ain't never stepped foot in a church or they go to church but they ain't they daddy not no pastor and so it's a lot of pastors daughters get pregnant as teenagers you know it happened to td jakes it happened to my daddy it happened to my homeboy daddy who was a pastor mama and daddy pastors all their daughters got pregnant as teenagers and so i'm getting arrested in ninth grade you said i get kicked off my college football team and the reason why is was we was trying to overcompensate because we were seen as the good kids the goody two-shoes the well-to-do and we want to fit in so we curse more than the worldly kids we'll steal and rob and sell drugs and and smoke weed and get drunk and church kids will do more than the whirly kids doing trying to fit in so this same thing when i saw this young lady i had already read that on her i read on her from the first time she looked at me and said something i said okay i felt attraction but i going about my business because i'm married ain't nothing i could do i can't act on nothing so i'm ordering my food and i'm getting ready to go and while i'm getting ready to go getting ready to back out she come out to say that now what she is accustomed to what she used to is being a white woman talking to a black man she used to being the prize she used to being the prize she used to a black man looking at her as like uh a trophy because of self-hate that black men have so because of self-hate that black men have and because she being a white woman especially in the south in florida that is forbidden fruit that was forbidden fruit now interracial dating is more common but that was forbidden fruit so she is she is accustomed to and i guarantee you probably nine out of ten men black because she attracted the black men because that's what she come around that's what she you know around and grew up around what have you so she attracted to black men probably think white men are corny or lame not as tough less confident that's what i've heard from white women who attracted the black men they said well i attracted the confidence i love the fact that they're not afraid to say what they think and they just tell you what they want and they tell you how they feel whereas white boys you know white men more passive and more this and that that's what i've been told and white women as into black men they say look i just always been in the black men and then when we dig a little deeper it come down to it where you ain't just always been in the black men you just was not wanted by white women and black by white men and black men treated you like a prize because you red hair with freckles white men have a more broad view of white women so they see blonde hair blue eyes you red hair with freckles they comparing you to blonde hair blue eyes so you was ostracized by white men but black men treated you like a prize because to a black man you was a taste of the rainbow to a black man you was you was the forbidden fruit you was the you was the vacation you was the experience you was the extravaganza and so black men came and wanted to drink your dirty bath water and so now so you say you always been attracted to black men no you just like who like you and it's just been that way since she was little or the white woman may have a caboose on them she may have this another thing i noticed she may have a caboose on her buddha okay and most white men do not like a big booty they do not like a big booty they like a woman long bike long bike with a little paper cut if you got a little bit of hunt okay they'll they could deal with that but most white men i remember i had a uh uh i heard a white guy say in school um man got the whole ghetto with her booty man she had the whole ghetto with her booty i was like okay all right and so a lot of times white women if they had a booty on them that was attractive booty was attractive to black men men of color hispanic men you notice a lot of dominicans and puerto ricans and you know these women a lot of these women have a shape you know like a big booty not a lot of them is long you know just a lot of them have a look curve back there so men of color who mix with african hispanics and dominicans and all of that even though some of them don't like black people got african in them and so their booty on and that build on them and so that color right there typically like a little shape so a man see a man taking read all of this so that's how if in its any single time i could always look at a woman of another race and tell if she into black men it would be something that just give it away she would have two two-tone hair her hair would be naturally straight bone straight she would it would be really cranky she would wear it cranky and curly she would wear a ball she would wear the one side over here that one side i had to come like this right here and stop right there and then this other side below but it's a white woman and most of the white women wearing long flowing bone straight blonde hair or brunette or brown or sandy blonde all the different terms y'all have for it but this woman over here she her hair got a little flair to it just got something going on and i'm like okay she like brothers sure enough she got a black baby daddy she got a black husband and that's how a man can read her same thing with with a black woman if you see a black woman you could see certain black women to where she talked very proper and she talked very proper because her mama had her mom made her read and her mom may have a degree or may have her education and her mom put her in private school or her mom had her in public school but had her reading books and so this woman over here she this black woman she talked very proper so to the black man he may say oh you talk white so then she made she ostracized by blacks and then to the white man he said oh you talk like me but you are black so black of the berries sweet of the juice and this white man he may not be attractive or liked by white women because he may be a little socially awkward or he may be have a unique look about him so this white man will get with this black woman and they just fit in perfect and the reason being is because neither one of them fat uh fat uh fit in neither one of them fit in perfectly with their race the same thing when you see an asian woman with a black man or a hispanic woman with a black man or a hispanic man with a black woman you know a lot of times it's because of where a person grew up or it's because of how they were treated by their own or just what they're accustomed to so as men go through men reading people reading people so you're so i typically if i see a black woman with a white man eight out of ten of them are the same woman and then i two out of ten will be a different woman or it may be just a traditional situation and she just you know has a man of another race or and when i say of another race and i'm just saying white it could be an indian man it could be a hispanic man you know it's something like i i s if i see a white man with a black woman a lot of times there's two types of white men one it's like he talk with us with slang and his energy feel like a black man from the from the inner city or from from the hood it's that type of white guy the other type of white guy is typically like the socially awkward type of white guy he like socially awkward or he just didn't really fit in all the way with with the white guys he wasn't like the jock you know um star quarterback you know look like he wasn't the abercrombie and fitch hollister american eagle model he was the kind of more you know look a little different a little unique in his own way so you see the guy like a you know a prime example on travis kelsey play for the kansas city chiefs he has a black fiancee or girlfriend but when you look at him and you hear him talk he wear diamonds he he he taught his voice got a little twang to it like he come up in a different area or was always around you know men of color and so he got a black woman because to the white women is probably a lot of white women that would be with him but because of who he was around and who he grew up around if you if it's a white guy he around all black guys playing sports and they like ooh this chick right here bad this right here bad and they talking about women of color he looking at them too and so now you start to like women of color because all your boys are of color and they into women of color and so you like okay wow yeah hey it is beautiful okay boom i'm into that too and and this stuff that we don't talk about but this is real and everybody kind of knows it now now the issue is when you fall into it when you fall into the category of the person who maybe did not really fit in with your race like if your race kind of called you names or seen you as different that's when it's hard to accept that some of these judgments some of these perceptions are actually reality because we don't want to believe that like um that is not true real i date white men just because because what just because because this is who i like it has nothing to do with me being ostracized and being talked about by black men how dare you say that i'm unsubscribing this is the misogyny that i cannot deal with and the same thing with white women when i wrote my first book what daddy never told a little girl there was a chapter in there that said why do some black men date white women and when i tell you them caucasian sisters was mad with me i just was explaining to them from the south from florida why it happened they did not want to believe that they did not want to believe that there could have been any ulterior motives of why they had a black man they wanted to believe that it was pure and true and organic love that just happened out of nowhere they didn't want to believe that there was a stereotype in the black community about white women and that black men were had rumors about white women they didn't want to believe what was being said about white women they didn't want to believe that they wanted to believe that it was just a pure love connection and that nothing else played into it and although that may be the case some of the time it was not the majority so a lot of black men they were going to other races because the other race does not fully understand them so when he is a mystery to her it keeps her on her toes because he's a mystery and she trying to figure him out so she can't tell when he's really mad when he's really serious when he's really happy she can't really read them because she grew up with white brothers white uncles white dad white cousins from different cultures and different experiences in america and so when she get with this black man she don't really know so if he catch a little attitude because black men has been painted as bestiality and as aggressive his attitude may scare her and she okay okay jamal i'm sorry i'm sorry i would never do it again and i experienced that as a black man when i dated white women that they was afraid but as a black man when you date a black woman she grew up with you you her her uncle is you her brother is you her daddy is you so when you get your attitude with a black woman nine out of 10 times she rather swell with you all right what did what did what you think yourself what you i called my brother on you wait what and she's right there with you and you like in some black with that yeah you didn't want me [Music] and you're like whoa i remember my cousin got in a fight you know he of course he black well you could have white cousin well he's a black guy he got a fight with a black girl and when i tell you that fight looked like a tie i was like and my cousin's just wrong he's strong like i couldn't whoop him so that let me know had i fought her her name was jessica who whoo and i thought jessica this was sister now black girl i would have took air i would have took a l because i know i could walk my cousin my cousin's way stronger than me and just better hands than me jessica got with him i was like whoa now if that was rebecca you know or maria from the queen sierra or rebecca they might not have known how to fight a black man because they probably would have been afraid of him because of what the media showed them of him but jessica was not afraid oh my god put that windmill on them yeah that went she put that windmill on with the puncher come like yeah shoot he's in there like this [Music] i'm sitting right now i got to get out of the way we was in the cafeteria how are you getting the fight at the cafeteria she said right behind him he ran so you see i'm saying man this is how man so we could learn and so now if you got a grown boy so what i was trying to tell white women i was like listen nine out of 10 times a black man coming to you because his own kind is on to his foolishness and he know you can't read him like that so he know he could come play you like a violin that's the same thing that i tell black women a lot of time when a man a white man come to you or a indian man or a hispanic man it's because his own kind on to his foolishness and because if you've been made to hate yourself or hate your race you may see him as a prize you may see him as a prize and you see your own kind like trash they all ignorant they all stupid they all dumb they all sorry so i'm just i'm going over here cuz i'm gonna get treated like a queen and that's how i'd be both ways that's the same thing that that a man saying when he going to another race he said i'm gonna get treated like a king i'm gonna be treated right and so computer tried to go to sleep on so you have to understand is that here's the thing as a woman what you have to do is you have to evaluate where you are operating from and you have to ask yourself am i operating and as a man too you have to ask yourself am i operating from a place of insecurity am i operating from a place of fear am i operating from a place of desperation am i operating from a place of frustration you see what am i operating from a place of self-hate am i operating from a place of pain of trauma of bitterness because wherever you're operating from it can be seen it can be seen by by most people see you could be doing something and most people will be able to tell where you're operating from and then there'll be somebody who will who will misread you so that's going to happen you got to understand that so what happened is the man this man he could read your energy but just one or two things happen he either became rude in me because he was trying to push you away because he did not want to be exposed for where his true attraction lies which could be in men the other reason is because he could have been pushing you away because or being rude in me because you did not come on to him like most women in your job title job position in relation to his job title and job position do you did not flirt with him you did not try to suck up to him you even had the audacity to go to him and ask him to make a change in your schedule to accommodate you when you had not come off of anything see a lot of these grown boys they expect they want me to kiss the ring they expect a woman to come and flirt show a little cleavage do a little something strange and then um yes i was wondering can my schedule be changed and and he and he didn't got that wound bound thank you man oh yeah sure we'll change that schedule but here you come oh yes can you change my schedule and he ain't got no energy from you he ain't got no flirtation he ain't got no sucking up and that could anger him and then he caught himself and realized how stupid he looked he realized that i'm being rude and nasty to a woman for no reason so then because you ain't come on to now he started to feel inadequate so now he's starting to try to flirt with you now he kind of apologized in his own way like you say and then he kind of trying to flirt with you because now he's just feeling all the way worthless and then you still ignoring his little flirtation and you going about your business so that make you a man worse nightmare you the one that cracked the code you're the one that got all the power so now you ain't got to run you ain't got to transfer he if he ain't touching on you or doing nothing like that right now uh he not blatantly you know you you said it kind of feel like he might be you said it's a flirtatious vibe now if you feel all the way violated or something like that then yeah go ahead boom report that lead but if it's underway just kind of feel kitty you actually got the power well you finna heathen to be eating out your hand doing what you want to do because you're not letting him take control you're not letting you're not sucking up to him you ain't kissing his behind you ain't flirting with him you you let him know like okay you you're a man you you have someone else but okay don't do nothing over here play boy what's up what's up james schedule all right thank you you say i'm saying when you have that kind of energy the way a man can't really read you all the way that's when you have that's when you have that real power so understand that i know this went all over the place but just get this in your spirit god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 36,839

Rating: 4.9135604 out of 5

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Id: JkV5mZCZSdk

Length: 59min 48sec (3588 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 11 2021