He won’t make me his girlfriend! | Talks with Tony

hey tony gaskins here popping in for another episode of talks with tony now yesterday we uh my site crashed it's relationshipcredit.com so relationship how that's spelled credit c r e d i t dot com it's just a little thing for fun where you can rate your relationship your past relationship if you're single just to see if it is what you thought it was or you could answer the questions as if your future relationship like your dream relationship like it'll say how long have you all been together you could select 10 or more years you know your dream relationship you want the last and they'll say are you the same nationality are you saying race if you date outside of your race put no if you uh want to date someone from another country put no you know and just answer the questions like hypothetically just to see how the system works and kind of see what that score is at the end if you're in a relationship you can answer the questions there's four people who are in a relationship i plan to do one for singles uh eventually but um still gotta work on it so visit the site relationshipcredit.com just test it out just something i'm kind of you know toying around with and then you know you put your email in there it'll put you on a mailing list where if i have a cool seminar coming or book coming or something like that you'll get an email you'll be the first to know about it so we're jumping right in this is not a long question i have not read it but we're gonna see on if we fit two in here or if we fit one and one of the things i'm trying to do with these is sometimes if the question's not that long or it's not a lot of media in it then i'll just take and teach on a topic and go a little deeper on a certain topic like i did last night on the do men read women so understand that hi tony i recently left my husband of 13 years he has anger issues he yells and curses at our daughters who are 11 and 13. he's been extra angry and grumpy since this and emmett our daughters are a b students as well as athletes a b students as well as athletes my 11 year old is a three-time us atf that's united states of america track and field i think that stands for junior olympian in the 100 200 and long jump and my 13 year old is number one long jumper in our region in las vegas we went through marriage counseling three years ago and he hasn't changed in fact he's gotten worse i didn't want to break up our family but he refuses to change he's 60 and i'm 50. i have a stable job as a postal clerk i got an apartment five minutes from the house we share so it would be easy to co-parent and commute them to his house i'm writing to ask if you can help with getting furniture for our new apartment okay that was gonna be a question all right getting furniture and about this come from november 3rd so i i would imagine you got the furniture by now lord will and god bless you i used a lot of my savings for the first month rent and security deposit i just want my daughters to have a bed to sleep in and a desk in their room to do school work i also need a bed i can save for a living room and dinette set later 1500 would be enough to purchase three beds and two desks i pray you can help us i love the work you're doing you gave me the strength and courage to make that move i told my daughters it will be a struggle for us but god will make a way for us but we will have but we will have peace and happiness on our own tony my only concern is the emotional well-being of my daughters i want them to grow up healthy and loved they are my future olympians and i have to make sure they live up to their full potential either way you have opened my eyes and regained my self-worth and i thank you so much for that i attached a picture of my girl jasmine uh well she put the last name she throw the name in there i ain't gonna say the the the other name oh my god hey all right so we try to keep people anonymous okay yes i'll see them now and they they built totally different because the one look like she's very small and the other one looked very tall but they definitely look like athletes now i could tell that they you know top and they situation and they regions and the the little sprinter she looked like the look you know the miniature version of the the olympians so that's pretty cool don't be too hard on them keep pushing them keep working and i'm hoping by now you got your furniture this november i i apologize now one of these days i'll figure this out but one of these day we'll start us like a blessed tribe fund it's just the only thing about it the reason why i have not done it yet you know i take and do things myself you know my family and to bless people but the reason why i haven't done it yet is because i it's just a world we live in it's like you can't tell who is who is real and who's fake and you don't want to be judging people but at the same time you don't want to be used and so i've done situations like this before i think fifteen hundred dollars was the exact number that i helped the lady with because she wanted to move away from her guy to a new place and like two weeks later the dude was living in the new place and so it's just situations like that and it's just so hard to tell so that's why i always say you know pray and trust god believe god sometimes just somebody who knows you personally who know your situation who can vet your situation but you know for people like myself it's so many it was a young lady actually yesterday that she sent me a request on on cash out for i think was 200 or 250 dollars and i sent like 200 or something like that and that young lady later paid that money back and then my system asks tonygaskins.com where you can ask the questions for a thousand character question it's a hundred dollars she asked two hundred dollar one hundred dollar question back to back and she thanked me for that and so that felt so good because i was like wow lord i i didn't want her to pay me back but just to see that she got on her feet things got together and so you see stuff like that but at the same time too you see other stuff happen where like you know people come and take your course and and then call the bank and claim fraud and you'll refund them and then they're still calling claim fraud so now they got the money two times you know and you're already sent the money back and then they pull it another time and they'll pull it from your bank account so now you're just sending money two times when they came and bought the course and everything was on them but then they'll make you look bad and get you in trouble so it's like people be scamming and doing stuff with low integrity and then making you pay double when it was their mistake and so you had it kind of it's it's tough you know to where you just it's hard to to weep through this stuff so y'all have to understand that when when y'all reaching out you know and i'm reading these live right there on the thing so this email address is really for questions about the situation and just the world we live in it's just it's hard it's like in these kind of situations um especially because this november what i recommend and obviously sometimes we don't go to our cousins and our mother father friends family for whatever reason and i always wonder about that but maybe it's nobody there but the other thing that of course you gonna think about is like well do they know you do they know the real you and that's why you don't want to go to them because they did you have been through this before and so it's tough for people like myself who put in this position where it's so many strangers that come to my dm and messages say hey i need 300 hey i need 1500 hey i need 3 000 you know and i try to help and i get gofundmes all the time and i just go and give 25 50 or 100 and i just i give it to the lord and just say hey you know this what i could do and but not fifteen hundreds such to that that's the 1500 so that's a that's a lot for anybody ain't bill gates now ain't bill okay i remember i went to a man who's a billionaire and he know me personally and he's a billionaire and i was doing a summer camp and i had a proposal for 25 000 to do the whole summer count for a group of 12 boys teaching them working with them and having them as like an aau basketball team and but it was going to be a summer camp where you getting life lessons life skills and to get through this count and using the boys and girls club as the place where they go at throughout the day and where we're meeting in our meeting rooms and where we're working at which one day i'm still gonna do it now i can do it not in my own pocket but i went to this man for 25 000 dollars and he's a billionaire he could have stroked that check for twenty five thousand because of course to a billionaire twenty five thousand is like twenty five dollars and he gave me five thousand dollar he gave me five i don't know and and when i later talked to his son he said we never give the whole amount what anybody asks he said the most we'll ever do is have he said because we don't want people to pin solely on us we want to know that you got other support and that you go to other people and that you can put this here together because people know you and people know you closer than we know you so we never give the full amount and i was like hmm now that i don't know that's wisdom or y'all just stinty i don't know but i took it as wisdom and so you know god bless you sis i hope that you you know got that 1500 you know by now because this was november 3rd and um it's april you know so god bless you and uh if you did not get it when we when we get us a little blessing one of these days i kind of want to start a little blessed tribe fun but the thing about it is i don't want to be judging people but we'll have to have a system where we could kind of vent that we not being scammed but it's like it's no real way and that's why i never really do that kind of stuff because i don't want to take somebody hard-earned money as a donation to my foundation and then give it to somebody who is scamming and then it's like here you are super 100 innocent and you not scamming at all you so pure but then the person that came right before you was running a scam or the person that comes right after you running a scam and then it ruining for everybody and it's like man so that's the hard part we're giving and so i pray that god have moved in your life and bless you um now let me see all right we're gonna go on to the next one this one from trinidad and tobago all right over there in the island i went over there one time and i don't know which one i was on trinidad or tobago and had some bacon shark bacon shark or shark and bake or shake and bake now what they told me it was fried shark i'm like eating a shark like the great white like jaws yeah you eating a shark like what y'all what the hell y'all like that was spears killing sharks well when i tell you that thing was the best fish sandwich i've ever had i've been trying to get back over there to trinidad tobago just for that it was at a beach it was at the beach i was booked for a speaking engagement over there and i feel so bad for that family it's like when i become a billionaire i'm gonna find that couple it was a young couple and they paid me five thousand dollars to come and speak which is like a normal speaking fee and not a normal international fee typically international fee bill like ten thousand dollars for a professional speaker who's an author and already established speaker with a brand and they paid five thousand dollars and just the islands the islands are so interesting like every time i go to an island nobody don't come to the seminars and it just really i think it'd just be the attitudes uh don't want to hear an american what can it come telling me how to love and they just and i feel so bad for the promoters and now if you find the house on soccer or some reggae it thing bloody i mean so many people but what i notice in a lot of the islands sometimes the life is very you know it's humble living it ain't like no lap of luxury you know it's real work you know and you've got a lot of tourists coming in who nasty and rude and coming trashing up your country and just want to come and live a life and live a party so i could imagine how they feel like you live a place and this your real life and you trying to make ends meet and all you keep seeing people coming over there using your natural resources and country for fun and so i think that might play into it but a lot of times like when i go to the islands and every one of them i went to i went to bermuda i went the turks and caicos i went to trinidad tobago um bahamas two times it'd be it'd be barely and it'd be the locals putting the events on it'd be barely any support it'd be five people in uh i'd be like man i feel bad for these people but it's like you know i by that time it's like hey i can't get you the money back i'm like i love my family i'm on the plane and you know i've engaged date away and turned down new york city or turned down atlanta to come here i'm thinking y'all got the city unlocked y'all from the brain you know 100 people like be five people in now i'd be like man we got the blue bell over them islands like come on now we trying to go trying to motivate uplift and have some some happiness so when the world open back up i'll start partnering with y'all you know on the islands and we'll do something that's financially feasible for everybody to kind of bring a look you know whatever we need to the islands and i really don't want to be talking about loving relationships and i rather talk about entrepreneurship business or some self-development because i really don't want to get chopped up by the men over there because the man island men do not play so i really don't want to be over there with milo man what is it with the machetes and all of me a lot of machetes hey tony i've been dating this guy for a year we are exclusive but not official been dating this guy for a year we are exclusive but not official [Music] before we started dating i told him that i'm not interested in a relationship at the moment because i was unemployed despite my side hustle i felt i needed to get myself to a point where i could feel comfortable about myself and what i bring to the table as a woman he told me straight off the bat that he wasn't looking for a friend and he was okay with me not having a full-time job so we eventually came to a mutual decision to date exclusively we didn't have until three months of dating by the fifth month i thought he would have asked me to be his girlfriend but he didn't he told me that his priorities are his career and finishing his home then he can focus on a committed relationship but also expressed that it didn't mean he he doesn't want me i felt a bit offended at first but i tried to understand where he was coming from fast forward to a year and a half of dating and he still hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend he has a great job but is still working on building his home which he has offered me a space to operate my side hustle and turn into a full-fledged business he has even offered to invest 20k to help me start up my business overall he has treated me really well and i do believe that he has my best interest at heart he has done a lot for me that not even my own father has done for me i'm not sure why i'm worried about his commitment to me but i think it has to do with him procrastinating with a lot of things i'm worried that i could be a placeholder another thing is that i want to go celibate even though we've been having for the past nine months he has expressed to me how much means to him during dating so i'm not sure what approach to take part of the reason why i want to go celibate is that i feel like i have been giving up my body to a man who has not yet committed to me i believe it's never too late to do the right thing i would love for you to shed some light on this scenario and tell me how i should proceed with him please advise well now see the other thing what i really don't like to do is give advice about island men one thing that i'm scared of is island man island man listen i ain't even going back and forth later lay down i ain't gonna go back and forth you feel like this machete hit me in the head with that coconut like listen your life has been a different kind of life because see when we came from africa some people stopped in the islands some of us got brought to america the islands that's a different type of life is is you learn a real grind in them islands like you're a real grinder hustler go-getter you tougher you stronger just your life like when i meet island people my wife from jamaica oh mama and daddy from jamaica they go get her they hustlers they tough they they hard nose like all of them scare me her mama her daddy all long uh grandmas all of them and so it's just a different type of light it will heart is hard in the islands in my opinion than it is in america so i really don't like giving advice about isle of man but fortunately he might not be able to get to me so what i will tell you is that your intuition is right he's not giving you a commitment and this what you have to understand about what men and and i i know it's some kind of term i don't y'all know y'all love y'all terms it's probably something about dangling fruit probably something about somebody got a term called low hanging fruit or they got a term called mouse and cheese bait some kind of term they got out there for y'all where a man will keep you in a space of uncertainty so because you in this space of uncertainty listen you sitting here you stressing you worried about it it's causing you stress and anxiety you writing into me you really worried about it and you giving your body and so you giving your body and you you in there and i'm talking about you ride them cowboy you wouldn't know whoa let's go wow you know you going because you trying to get that title so you put not like never before you hear me you doing the duty wine on that thing you doing everything you could do you ain't now cooking doubles and you got your doubles and your roti or all this right here your shark and bait your bacon shark because you trying to get that title and a man senses that see a man knows and it's always been said across the board is that when you get married or when you get a title everything changes that is taught to every man and it's the truth it's the truth things change like we men and women like what what we call marriage weight married wait nah i got me a little bit of good but when i met my wife and i was courting my wife i had my eight pipe i had my eight pipe a 12 pipe no i had eight then i had three reels over here three reels over here you can see so that's 11 14. i had a 14 pipe i had a 14 pound and i counted them real that you could see as amps i had a 14 paint and yeah muscles yeah that chest was nice sitting up nice orange nice ripped and cut just look like you know god did chills with me and i had to keep my body like that because i'm trying to catch me something as soon as i got married i'm tana pop eyes up on the arnold palmer i had me some pop out today well forgive me it's been some months now since i had papa but i i started to get some gas and i looked at that papa i said nah come on now i got to pop out of the date now lord forgive me y'all forgive me see i'm i'm a relationship coach i'm not a health and wellness coach your health and wellness you got to go to mymentor.life to get your health and well nicole i teach on love and relationship entrepreneurship stuff i don't teach on health and wellness you want to eat your asparagus and your brussels sprouts go right ahead god bless you now i ain't gonna let myself go all the way but every night i gotta touch my little bit of popeye every night then and so now listen to me this man he take and he knows that he got you working he knows that you're doing everything to get to him and but once you get that title we get complacent men and women and so that's what these men are using now they just they they dangling that ring on you you want them right you want them right [Music] you go to writing and you just give me right and you trying to get your ring and he just dangling on you and the next thing you know so now you want to go sell it but see this thing you don't want to be celibate how y'all be i'm celibate i said no you ain't because you can't say the word right hey how you spell it celibate so but see what you said you said the re part of the reason why i want to go celibate is that i feel like i've been giving up my body to a man who's who has not yet committed to me [Music] i believe it's never late never too late to do the right thing but this is the thing you're not doing the right thing you're doing it as a manipulation tactic so now you want to come off the cookie you now you want to put the cookie back in the jar because it's been a year and a half that you've been putting out and he ain't been putting in meaning no rain and now what did brother hill want he want to give you a space at his house that he working on and he want to invest 20k so he really he's serious about you he just is one of these men that was raised to believe titles change things that's all it is you dealing with an old-fashioned you dealing with an old-fashioned man and this ain't just an island man this man i have family members male family members who had a woman for 20-plus years and never married a woman they lived together all they money together they do business together and one of the one of the couples i know that's my family um had three kids together never got married and i asked my dad i said why is your nephews not marrying the woman that they live with and got all these kids with and he said because they always been told that when you get married everything go wrong everything change and so i was and and it was i guess it was some truth to it because it just kept people in the state of work in a state of i ain't secure i ain't secure let me keep working let me keep working now see the reason why i got married is because i'm a christian and to be in fornication is a sin see you didn't say you want to be celibate because it's against your belief system because it's against your morals and values because if that was the case you wouldn't have been put not for the last year and a half but you've been putting out for the last year and a half because you thought it was gonna turn into something you thought you were gonna get rain you thought you was gonna get exclu be exclusive y'all exclusive but not official and see that right there's an oxymoron you know a conundrum you adjust the position which i don't know what none that mean but all of it sounds good right there so we'll use that right there but to be exclusive but not official i get what you're saying but essentially y'all playing house and it's like if y'all exclusive then you're official and so to me it sounds like you saying and this is the thing that that really throws men off now you asked him by by the fifth month i thought he would have asked me to be his girlfriend but he didn't he told me that his priorities are his career and finishing his home then he can focus on a committed relationship but also express that it didn't mean he doesn't want me so it is what he told you now career home then you five months five months you could have been gone five months you could have been out of there oh really oh oh okay all right oh okay so career home okay then me okay okay okay well i tell you what all right i hope you like the little cookies you had cause that's all the cookie do you got some milk to go with it because this all right see you later they get my account i've got to go got to go you said i'm saying five months and see this right here the lesson this right here the lesson line this is the lesson that i try to get y'all to understand is do you see how you have a way of escape and then y'all continue to waste your time i did a video the day that was 50 minutes long but i didn't post it because i said is there too real they're too real and just people be twisting my words people using stuff against me so i said i was just gonna keep stuff in house i had to just delete the video i ain't posted because it was too real man i said i still ain't we still ain't there yet i gotta wait i get on tonytube and when i build tony to now it's gonna have to cost cuz haters really ain't gonna pay to come in uh to get real work done haters they'll be on here to twitch your words and call you a narcissist and do all that on the public where they could just watch for free but when you're going you finna do real work and you finna really go somewhere that's for the people that's in the growth zone that really trying to grow so when i build 22 that's when we'll really get all the way real but he'll just still got to kind of keep it real but can't go all the way in yet so that's the thing i was just talking about that earlier i'm talking to myself i was driving about how you have opportunity to move on so right there when he told you you are not a priority and see people have i watched this thing and it was talking about priority and it was like priorities is is really no such thing as priorities plural because a priority is one thing and that we've said priorities but you can't have multiple priorities is what the thing was saying it was like your priority is supposed to be a singular thing that's your that's your focus and then everything else is not a priority and so that's what it was trying to say so he said career his home then you so that mean let me tell you what that mean that mean you a piece of booty in a jar just like i say sometimes y'all ladies want a dangling in a jar you piece of booty in a jar but jay in a jar you see what i'm saying he just instead of having to depend on jergens lotion and probably that trend that i call blue mountain or something lotion or some kind of some ocean sea lotion now instead of depending on that and handler he got you come on here girl all right get out of the way get back my career get back to my career and then you feel bad about it so it's like hey i put 20k in though i'll put 20k in that hey they keep them laid open uh they'll keep them there no you get no commitment now you get no commitment what what uh what what did i tell you career what's going on t career home you be quiet bottom o'clock and so now he trying to let you know like what did i tell you you you not a priority don't keep asking me i told you not i don't told you where you sit at so see this what i this what i want everybody to understand you see within the first six months if this has long-term potential you see it in the first six months but you ignore it and the reason why it works so well is because you're seeking approval and not love you seeking approval i'm cringing right now because my wife always get onto me about my terrible island accent y'all forgive me now i ain't trying i only listen to people talk enough to have nobody accent i'm just i'm just messing around so y'all forgive me and then some people get offended by it if you try to talk country like me if you try to talk country i'm not afraid to be offended by that but some people just wholesale oh my god hey buddy yeah my boy's home from practice i love seeing them in their little soccer uniform when they come home hey i gotta get ready to go here soon because hey i got a little food enough and i gotta get ready to go now i got almost 27 minutes had the most now so now listen to me you always see in the first six months where you got a way of escape to where you could be gone and instead you stay because you're seeking approval because now you're looking like oh man i've been on my bike 91 times and so i'm just going to just give away all that cookie and just walk away yeah you got to be willing to walk away and say all right my bad the next relationship you go into it and you'll be abstinent from the junk you asked you abstaining from being on your bike from the jump from day one so that you don't have to get him used to being in the cookie jar and then try to slam his hand enough but instead it got the lock on there can't even get in there from the jump so now he know what he get now see i don't know the situation over there in trinidad and tobago you could be looking like hey you know it's not a whole lot of people a lot of people know each other ain't no whole lot of men so hey we doing what we could do to get our little husband this man got a good job man could not if he got twenty thousand dollars listen i got you know a brand and you know them built up and all that right there and i ain't got 20k to get you you know what i'm saying i ain't got no one to get you if he got 20 now unless 20k is like 2k if you if you saying 20k like usd or y'all might have the same money if y'all have the same system on the same money over there trinidad bagel and then he'll go somebody in the comments finna get better give me the whole history of the trinidad tobago monetary system let's stop stop right start right way yeah please please okay listen i google it okay okay i will google it please oh i got it okay the trinidad tobago dollar ttd is the official national currency of the caribbean island state of trinidad tobago like the u.s dollar usd it is subdivided into 100 cents how much is 100 u.s and trinidad money 10 usd and this might be old it's 67.8 ttd 100 usd is 678 ttd so i don't know if you talking about 20k in ttd or 20k in usd which you talking to an american so i'd imagine maybe you mean usd but i'm gonna tell you what if that brother got 20k to give you i'm gonna tell you this right here i would not accept it i would not accept it because you know how you go to a club and a man buy you a drink and he think he owned you for the night twenty thousand dollars listen if anything get one of the man you that machete that twenty thousand will get it done i would not accept a red set from no man that's not your husband and and when it said it from a man that's your husband if he not a loving caring gentle faithful amazing husband because let me tell you something about men especially grown boys and you got your grown boy he is a grown man but he's a grown boy in relationships he'll grown man in life he a grown boy in relationships he'd been raised wrong he been taught wrong he didn't see he seen the right examples in his life so a woman is just an accessory a woman is just used for the tool what's between your lead that's how he see you at and so he don't see you like no queen he don't see you like you you cherish he see you like the man in the dark having stuff spinning on the desk that's how he see you you one of those students of that thing right there that way he feel like he is a high value man and you need to do what you got to do to get his favor to get in his favor and he'll give you a little money but that 20k that's been about you do you know how long it takes a dancer a stripper to make twenty thousand dollars from one man now she could not the top in the country they could make 10k in a night a night nine but from one man that work a honest job like this here man twenty thousand dollars he gonna think he own you do you hear me that's not no law that ain't no free that coming with a lot of this here and listen to me you is going to be in grave danger if you accept twenty thousand dollars and you accept a place in his house to run your business and then you wanna holla about you finna be celibate listen you'll have all kind of clients in your business and they at that man how knocking on the door what my what is me product rest me product he ordered the product and now you broke i cannot believe and going crazy and you will be bankrupt cause he'll be done sweet that rub from up on you when you talk about you finna be celibate celibate what after all of this three times and now you try me [Music] listen listen do not play with no island man listen if this was american a black american you might get away with it you might get away with it we're a little softer but a island man i wouldn't play i would not take a dime give me this man that that'll be like you is a slave on the auction block that's what that 20k is when a man will give you 20 000 of anything i don't care if it's t t d p h d s t std i don't care who dollar it is if a man will get you 20k of anybody money and he won't make you his official girlfriend he won't ask you to be his girlfriend he trying to buy you he trying to buy you and really ain't buying he renting you so y'all will be in the same situation like you said exclusive with you probably not exclusive you probably not exclusive because you're probably not exclusive because erleen you know esther roof over there they all got their own place so all he got to do was take a lunch break boom go over to esther house she got her own place she's selling her you know on run cakes and her doubles at the house so she worked from the house so she said oh we closed for our and and him and else in there that's another reason why he don't want to make you exclusive i mean official because he can't have you on the trinidad at the bagel facebook and elsa like oh you got her what is this you've been coming over here and you're eating up all my doubles and now you're with her and three times she didn't did this i gotta throw that three in there because that's the only thing i'd be knowing how to say from the island because they everybody from the island say tree i'd be like oh you said three and so what you have to understand and realize is sister you're in a bad situation but i'm gonna tell you another thing now let me tell you another thing if you try to leave this here man hey baby about how long i got i i i ain't gonna shoot longer than about 18 minutes i got enough time oh yeah okay oh okay well you know i look that look good it means you know what i want to do put that in the oven on 350 for like 10 minutes huh yeah not right now i'm going to do that though but yeah i'm going to try that out all right look you got to go with my son all right look you gotta go ahead ain't got much longer all right baby gonna get up wait now you know i can't shoot the video you just ain't not looking at me like that my wifey bonus you know i'm shy she's not standing there i heard my son oh [Music] i forgot what i was saying nah [Music] i forgot what i was saying now what you have because i keep just looking at this here 20k now what you have now what oh what i was getting ready to say is 9. listen now over in the islands it ain't always as much going on like it is in america so like nah and i i don't in trinidad the bagel i don't know if y'all have top golf do y'all have topgolf do y'all have i fly do y'all have um dinosaur world do y'all have mgm grand um what you call that hollywood on universal studios walt disney you see i'm saying so see in america it's so it's a lot of little stuff to do so as men we don't have to be as proud as in that bed the island brothers you know they might take you to the movie theater bowling skating man but ain't no whole whole lot to do so the brothers really perfect their bedroom game so if you'd have been if he didn't uh be not uh putting that sword of sin on you for [Music] a year and a half when you come off of that don't know if you're gonna be able to go cold turkey because that's what they created that's that term soul time and the term is not biblical but it is biblical but not in the soul time but bob said when you lay down with somebody you give your you give a piece of you to them and you take a piece of them with you you sin against your own body when you're in fornication it just people play semantics say oh that's not biblical that's essentially what that scripture mean you tying your soul you giving a piece of you you taking a piece of them you sinning against your own body that's where it's talking about that and so but people people just they looking for the exact word soul time listen it translated from a whole nother language they don't use the same language so it ain't gonna translate to soul tie but that what it's talking about when you lie down with somebody and you sinning against your own body and so now so what you have to understand now is that when you get ready to try to come off that right now it ain't gonna be easy you're gonna have some withdrawals you're gonna have some withdrawals and you're gonna be sitting there and you're just gonna be you gonna be picturing it and you're gonna be thinking about it and you're gonna feel it you're gonna feel it you might feel it in your underwears and look tingle that's how the emotional ties do it you'll feel it you'll feel it in your stomach you get your little stomach and you and you go to craving it you'll go to needing it and if it's any weakness in you you're gonna be right back down that pole and that's what a lot of men used to hook a woman a man believed that if he could sleep with you he owned you for life because technically he feels tied to you for life because it's like riding a bike that's why people asleep together don't talk to each other at all see each other six months later and on the first day they're right back in the bed because it's like we already been here sometimes it's five years in first day in the bed because we already been here so it's kind of like riding a bicycle so you got to understand you're gonna have to understand just right here talking about that oxytocin and that vasopressin they are bonding hormones oxytocin and vasopressin form a rewiring of the brain with the wrong material that lures the individual deeper into a prison of their own making the bonding hormones of oxytocin and vasopressin that's why an intoxicating combination of hormones intended to bring loved ones closer together promote mental healing or instead and this from a brother site on conquer series.com and so this right here this doctor doug weiss talking on this hill thing and it's crazy how you know minds think of light because i say the same thing about once i learned that the part of the brain that's activated when you sleep with somebody when you have that oh it's the same part of the brain that's activated from drug usage and how you get addicted to a drug that's why you see so many men are dead all right there's a nasty movies angela because of that chemical release that their brain is giving it's giving them a and then they'd be wanting that the same thing with a woman body i heard several women oh i just want me some i'm like wow was a women like that too yeah i'm having cravings and i'd be like baby boy hey gotta we'll talk about what didn't one more baby would be like that which that i'm like right and and i and women i know nine went family members and told me i ain't gonna say what family member is i probably said it before i want me something like huh so you got to understand you if you're going to be celibate don't do it because you've been giving him your body and he gave you no commitment you need to do it for some deeper than that you need to do it for your safety for your sacredness you know for your morals for your values don't it don't should have nothing to do with him don't do it because because then what because what's going to happen if you take that off the table you close your legs and then he come and give you a ring he come and ask you to be his girlfriend the next week so now you right back on your bike you see what i'm saying so you got to really think about this so yes with this gentleman here technically you wasting your time but the other thing is if he finna put 20k into you he don't this not long unless you dating a millionaire then he don't see this as a short-term thing he planned to keep you around but you may be in the role of a concubine not the role of a wife you may be in the role of you one of a few as many as his dollar willow his ttd will afford him in trinidad and tobago as mentee as it will for him not okay so you got an interesting name now that's what i like about trinidad and the vega nine y'all got all kind of you know cultures and stuff over there okay [Music] okay oh okay ain't got no picture but this your last name say it might be [Music] korean or chinese i don't know so so it isn't so okay so you might be a asian trinidadian all right that's a real creative name i really like your name i'm trying to see what your first name mean oh this interesting uh yeah so i'm just interested you know your family origin because the first name say it's islamic and then the last name say it's korean or chinese that's a it's a beautiful name though very beautiful name and uh so i'm wondering you know um how you know sometimes the origin country plays into like a person a man or woman could be in trinidad and tobago but if their family is from asia or from africa or you know from wherever that culture even though their family came over whether it be through migration or during the slave times still bring that culture and those traditions and that mindset so this man here i'm just curious you know that's one thing you have to look into is as you any and this any everywhere now this if you're in america you're in asia you and uh the islands you anywhere whenever you dealing with somebody especially a man you have to look at his history i heard a guy say that the history and biography equals the makeup of a man so the history you know his race his nationality his culture you know his family lineage and his biography was he single-parent two-parent home was he homeless was he bully was he you said to me history plus biography equals the makeup of a man so when you look see was his was his dad married to his mom was his granddad married to his mom what about his brothers his uncles his cousins his his culture you know his country of origin like if his people didn't originate in trinidad and tobago which the human race started in africa so and then we spread out from there so his country his family's country of origin what are their you know spiritual and religious beliefs and their views around marriage and is it a thing is he is he a rebel is he rebelling from his you know origin and really look into that in his history and so now when you look at his history and his biography then you kind of start to understand like okay this is a man who is who comes from marriage who's going to get married and so if it's been a year plus and he hasn't even asked me to be his girlfriend and he differentiates between the two because what i was going to say is some men don't differentiate between the two of exclusive and official for some men those are synonyms that exclusive is official and official is exclusive so if a man say i'm not dating any other women i'm not sleeping with any other women to some men that means you are his girlfriend but then to some men there is a difference there's a line between the two and and there's a title so when you ask him about it and he said listen i'm focused on career finishing my home and then you can focus on a committed relationship and but he said that doesn't mean i don't want you no that do mean you don't want her my wife nah they do mean you know and i'm telling you don't play with y'all not get don't get mad with me die don't get mad with me now i'm gonna play with you right hold on lay it out but listen to them so that do me you don't want her because i'm not gonna put nothing before my wife i ain't gonna put that don't don't nothing come before my wife now but if she need me whatever she need that come first career and home and every everything else comes out to my wife my kids everything come out to her even though they're kids she confirmed and then okay boom now now i got y'all because i got hush grade okay now she good now i got y'all now what you need all right boom you know what i'm saying so because that's my other half that's that we won so you got the love your woman as you love your own body and that's how it got to be and a lot of men don't understand that and that's why you don't receive the blessings and the favor that is for you because you don't understand how to treat your own flesh your one your other half and then you take as a man and you reduce this woman to this role of atlan you just use a huff of this here and so now you made her like a concubine like a handmaid like a dude girl like a blow up dog and so you can't no matter your belief system if you don't believe in god you don't believe in christianity even just it's universal law to where if you don't treat your fellow human with the utmost respect and this is the one that you replenish the earth with then even if you believe in the earth wind and fire the earth wind and fire ain't finishing you the blessings that you waiting on see me i believe in jesus christ but i'm gonna speak in in plain terms for the rest of y'all who don't believe like that listen what you believe in the five percent of what you pan-african and none you're not going to be blessed by mother earth if you're not treating mother of the world with the utmost respect whatever you believe in that's universal law you see what i'm saying like yeah that don't mean you can't get money but you ain't gonna get all that's for you you're gonna get everything that's for you because what go around come around how you treat people coming back to you so you reducing this woman to nothing you're reducing her to just get on your bike open your legs and shut up that's essentially what you're saying in manglish you saying don't don't don't ask me is you my girlfriend don't ask me do you get some say so and do you want to be my girlfriend you want me to prance you around trying to dad into bay gold woman hush and just get on your back and and on finicky it is 20 000 so shut up about being a girlfriend that's essentially what you're saying to her you know what i'm saying and it's like is she good enough to sleep with is she good enough to sleep with is she good enough to have a room in your house to operate her business is she good enough to have get 20k for you then she good enough to be your girlfriend and you just have to trust that you know this woman and that she's not gonna get complacent and just start you know blowing boogers around the house and just walking around breaking wind and just you know just being just ugh you know and just letting herself go just because you're the maid of your girlfriend and then if she just don't care no mobot nothing in the world after you making your girlfriend then you know okay that's all she wanted she ain't really into me she don't really care about you know presenting herself the way i'm trying to present myself okay i got the wrong woman let me go about my business because she don't really care about staying engaged and and continuing to build and continue to love each other and and do for each other and impress each other you know she just she all she wanted just the status so she could change her status on facebook all right got to go but you got to trust that you know what you know as a man hey this is tony guys and god bless y'all i got to get going from going get me a little son to eat you know not hell god bless you will talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 28,590

Rating: 4.9306359 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: xmwERZNSxRI

Length: 59min 39sec (3579 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 12 2021