Confronting your man!

hey hey Tony guys in here popping in for today's lesson hope you have your note pad want to talk about when to address a man and when to confront a man however you want to say it but I get this question a lot and it kind of goes to show me what it says to me is just how men and women are wired and how the world has been set up for a woman to you know kind of follow the lead of a man or be in submission to a man and that word submission is a curse word to some women I remember coaching a client one time she like who I hate that word I hate that word and word come out of the Bible and this client was a Christian and went church faithfully every time the doors was open but submission was a curse word and to a lot of women and I think just a lot of negative connotations with that but when you truly look at it whether you like the word or not in a lot of cases you are submitting to a man the sad part about it is in most cases you are submitting to a grown boy and you scared and you walking on eggshells and you kissing the behind of a grown boy and then you turn around and take this word that really is a word that takes strength submission takes strength it takes wisdom you know it takes courage it as submission takes a lot to truly be submitted to each other because in a relationship you actually supposed to submit one to another one to the other so as a man I submit to my wife in times as well and she submits to me we submit each other what I mean by that is I know her strong areas and I submit to her strengths she knows my strengths and she submits to my shrimps so that's what really a healthy marriage looks like but there comes a time where you got a check a man you gotta talk to him about what's going on and this is the thing man your man if you with the big bad wolf that you literally fear because of physical retaliation then you with the wrong man and you need to leave as soon as you finish this video you you might have to stop the video and leave I saw a comment from a lady and she was saying something about you know her guy how even you know put hands on her and he goes off and and he left fur or something and and then he'll go stir and she'll call him and hit like old one of my family members passed away and then she'll be like old what you need from me you know you need me to cook need this for that and I was reading the comment I might got it mixed up but it was a comment I read and I was like you gonna go meet the Lord early if you only that man and that happens that happens you watch your news I I saw here in my city where they let a man out because it is here you know from jail because what's going on with the health situation they let him out he came out and took the life of his ex-girlfriend or girlfriend because she was caught he caught her with another man and that's what you have to realize so a man who will go that far those signs was shown inside of the first year and as soon as you recognize that and realize that you got to get gone you got to get going so I'm not talking about that situation when you in a drastic situation like that you know to where it's all the way live that kind of situation you got to do what you got to do you got to go because you play with it I'm here to tell you don't take it lightly do not take it lightly you will go home early believe me when I'm telling you I'm seeing it I'm not seeing it closer up close and personal so listen to me you with a physical man you got to go you got to go don't play with it not another second don't play with it get gone to the shelter to the foundation to to your mama house your auntie house your sister cousin best friend if you got to go sit in a jail cell go do it you can't be with no physical man you know what I'm talking about now other than that anything less than that and sometimes people say oh verbal is worse than physical and kind of sorta but not really because he verbal it's not gonna send you home early to meet the Lord early C Berber it may hurt you it may strip you but you're still gonna breathe again you're still gonna live you're gonna live with her feelings you're gonna live with low self esteem but you're gonna live and so physical it is a different kind of beasts so but with the verbal with the emotional with the spousal with the social with the financial all those different forms of toxic relationship abuse guess what with those you got to address it now here's the thing you have to identify your style because he everybody doesn't have the same style and you can't do you can't address something the way that someone else would address it now for me you know um I'm a hard person to approach you know I'm a hard person to approach because I don't receive criticism and critique well and if I sense I attitude with somebody I tend to read them left to right up and down front center and so I make it look tough because he my wife has saw me read people in in all walks of life she saw me read people in all walks of life and I you know and I work on it I don't get physical nothing like that but I just let a person know you barking up the wrong tree you messing with the wrong one now she has sentence taught me like on social media don't clap back at people so you say some crazy on social media you can delete it and oftentimes blocked and I don't go back and forth if I feel like it's an honest question even if it sounds like it's an ignorant question but it's the honest question but it just sounds like you're trying to you know be a certain type wait I may answer you you know if I feel like you're intentionally trying to ask a stupid question I may ask you and give you a stupid answer but let you live you know meaning don't block you so with my wife what she has done with me is she just kind of mentioning in passing she's never once in 13 years of marriage she's never once said we need to talk never once she's never once said we need to talk she's never once said I need to talk to you it just whatever she got to say she just kind of mentioned in passing just everything cooled until and you know I be getting ready to get in bed and I may have just used the restroom if you like and she'll just say you leave the toilet seat up again and I'm right huh like you've been leaving toilet seat up every night like what leaving me whoo yeah yeah you yeah you you've been leaving toilet seat up I almost drowned and and you know it hit me and I'm like oh okay so last night I had to use restaurant middle of the night she hadn't went to sleep and I remember that the toilet seat down so I went in there he was restaurant let the toilet seat down I remember cuz she spoke it to me you know it may be something like I'm on my phone if I'm on the phone a lot I have a lot to get through because I got probably last time I counted I have 25 email addresses 25 email addresses because I've started over 11 companies and every company got an email and some companies got to three emails and I got a lot of volume coming through on my emails and then a lot of comments I read comment because I want to see what you have questions on that's where I get my questions for my video sometimes people email in and thinking no I get more questions that I address from the comment section when people ask a question from the video so I got a lot of gold to go through and so my wife she don't say hey we need to sit down hey we need to talk she'll just be oh you wit you boo like I'll be sitting on the phone [ __ ] or you with your boom I'm not hard someone you find rich boom that's girlfriend now I'm like my good here we go now I'm I'm you know brushing it off but I'm taking into account what she said so she learned me my husband is sensitive in the sense of you know I respond to stuff quick you know she didn't see me if it's at a car dealership getting serviced and the man got an attitude and I feel like he being condescending I read them from left to right right then she does see me when I was broke when I was broke and I used to go off on people in the stove you know you talk to me now I broke as a joke but she does see me so she learned how to address me and she also knows that I'm a talker I'm a talker and I'm a thinker so if she says so these videos that I do I don't have any nose I'm talking to you and if this video helped you at all if any of my videos help you I'm talking to you from the top of my head from my heart and it's a flow I shoot at one time I don't shoot it over I don't edit that is God's gift to me my wife knows that gift so she knows that if she says hey we need to talk she know by the time we sit down I'm gonna have a whole dissertation ready I my argument in the court of love gonna be so airtight she'll be spinning on a chill so she knows she gotta catch me off guard with the truth that she need to hit me with she can't tell me where it's a lot of women you dealing with a man who he it seems like he can't communicate to save his life it seems like he can't express what on his heart what's on his mind to save his life I hear that all the time I hit it all the time so guess what with that type of man you may need to sit down give him some time to think you may need to give him a heads up so he could prepare his heart with a man who was a talker understand I'm shy but I'm a talker I know how to express myself to articulate myself and I know how to hit things from different angles if I want to I can make an excuse for everything if I want to I can have a rebuttal for everything and my wife told me that years ago she said look you express yourself and you tell me everything you feel it but then when I tell you something you always got the excuse so when you say you need more it is from me then when I say I need more it is from you you say well when I gotta feed a family you understand how much work I gotta do you don't know how hard it is to beat me say you always got excuse for why you do what you do but then you want me to listen do what I need to do and she told me that and that probably was from a town-hall meeting that I call because I used to always be trying to call the town hall meeting and she be more so just chill so my wife she really does not complain about me she does not say anything she said to me the other night she's like man you just don't understand how good you got it how chilled I am and our life yeah I get it yeah I get it and I do get it I realize it when I'm coaching women and I hear all of the stuff that they nitpick about what they man thank you thank you thank you Lord I chose right Lord you knew me you knew what I needed Lord you know I couldn't deal with no woman like that and I remember talking to my father and him saying to me I was like man we try to talk and she just won't talk like she just shut down like she won't express what's on her mind she won't say what's on my heart like she won't tell me what I need to do what I need a change she won't tell me what she won't you know and I'm trying to make this thing better but she won't express herself so my wife was more so like some of the man y'all be complaining in the back and I was more so like some of y'all women always got something to say always got a issue to bring up so and that's because that's how my dad was he's very articulate and he always expressing himself he'll talk to me for three hours teaching me a lesson for three hours you know I'm listening the first seven minutes in the next two hours and 53 minutes I'm just sitting there looking at him and I heard a word he said because I'm thinking about my football game or basketball game schoolwork and my dad he said to me when I when I went to talk to him about that he said listen boy listen you better appreciate that you gotta appreciate that that'll be that'll be how she is cuz you keep begging on the top you keep telling her to talk you keep telling tell you what she need and all it is he said well you're gonna regret that if she if you open that Pandora Box you're gonna regret that try to let her be who she is I'll let her communicate how she communicates and she'll let me know what she needs from me and a lot of times it's on the back of me letting her know what I need from her and she'll just kind of go with the flow as long as it's not a deal-breaker now a long time ago trying to make life easy on myself I created a rule in our relationship that says if it's not worth breaking up over it's not worth arguing over that was my rule okay and the reason for this hill rule a commercial break real Cleveland has undermined yes I'm putting some Visine um so that was my rule my wife adopted that rule and I and she started sharing that rule with her friends if people should talk to just say me and my husband have a rule if it's not worth breaking up over it's not worth arguing over and so what we meant by that is the argument is when you're yelling you screaming you storming off you're going to bed mad you talking over each other that's argument a disagreement is when you have a difference of opinion and you come to each other and you have and then from that disagreement you have a discussion a discussion is you talking back and forth but you taking turns talking you're seeking to understand then be understood okay that's a discussion that may come from a disagreement a argument is when you going back and forth but now I starting to get riled up you start to get a little irate start to get a lot of hand so me and my wife we aren't you we don't argue it's been 11 years since we had what you would call argument we had several disagreements and several discussions but we don't argue it's just our rule and so what you have to realize is that once you identify your man and how he deals with stuff how he handles stuff then that's when you start to adjust and shift how you move how you handle talking to him and and the thing that my wife taught me is if it's not a deal breaker she really don't sweat over it so early so if it's something that this man that if this action continues to happen it's gonna get bad it's gonna get ugly that's when you gotta address it so early on she found a Facebook message right after we got married she found a Facebook message me writing a model and asking that model if she will be my arm candy for a red carpet event in the hood and I'm thinking okay my wife just had a baby she tired she she broke down I had wrote a book I wasn't nobody but in the hood well I'm from I was somebody because I had wrote a book and I think I had did an interview on the local radio station so I'm 23 years old and I send this message to this girl who get rented she get rented for events that was a thing back then she get rented for events for music videos stuff like that to where she get paid to be arm-candy and the reason why I also knew that was a thing is because I had organization before I got married called dazzling Dimes and it was eight women who I got paid to bring them to the club to twerk yeah okay I was like the guys used to call it organized pimping I ain't know what to call it but one of my homeboys told me to start it so that was the thing well from ok and me and I'll pay money just the hell the woman in a present so my wife found that message and she checked mine as soon as I walked back in the house I had left my computer up and open and on Facebook she went on my facebook to read because she had been cheated on in her past and her last relationship she had only had one real relationship as an adult and it wasn't really real cause it only lasts about a year but she had been cheated on and so back then when we first got together she used to read messages Facebook messages private text messages still dealing with her paranoia and still healing from her soul time and so we went through everything that everybody goes through that's why I can teach how I teach and that's why I'm transparent so now don't try to use my transparency against me Oh oh my I can't believe you did that and as soon as you finish saying that yo man yo what's your man doing right now why are you trying to use my transparency against me I'm trying to help you so now she checking on that and man I felt stupid I felt stupid but see that's the thing here's a lot of time man we do stupid stuff and we don't even compute how stupid it is like as men it's been such a man's world that men have been able to do whatever they want to do to the point that men forget right from wrong because you're so used to just doing what you want to do and women just accepting it or just crying about it and just accepting it so my relationship before my wife with that woman that I was with I kind of could say girl cuz we was kids basically before my wife I met my wife at 21 but I was in a two-year relationship right before my wife and I had cheated 26 times oh yeah Oh when y'all realize how this hot have a wealth of this hill information I'd be giving you because I would be worse I was a grown boy okay my wife didn't know that she didn't know that she know I cheated 26 times on that one she would've been with me so you know I have been out there like I did she asked me those kind of questions because she didn't really want to know down so she judge me for who I was and I was growing and changing so to answer that question because so why did your wife get with you if you were a player she didn't know I was a player I always get that question so just to answer that before that woman I was with another young lady and I cheated eight times in that relationship here's here's a lesson for you you notice how I didn't know the amount of times I cheated eight times in one it was a year-long relationship 26 times in the other one that was a two-year relationship and the reason why I know the number is because that is how grown boys equate manhood grown boys equate their actions with women how many women they can get so how much of a man they are what they can get away with with a woman to how much of a man they are how nasty they could do a woman and get away with it - how much of a man they are so see your average man your typical man your growing boy that's what his goal is so what you have to realize is when it comes to confronting a man addressing a man you have to address every single behavior immediately if it is a behavior that can lead to a breakup or that can lead to something bad so guess what my wife addressed that she addressed that when she found out that message and she said why would you do that why would you do that you know I just had our child you know I'm not feeling good I'm going through postpartum so what are you trying to say am I not good enough to go and why and I'm like hey you know you just you right I got to go to this event don't nobody know we married we merit but we didn't have a wedding we went to the courthouse and you still you still got your host on me it just was last couple of weeks and you ain't feeling good what I'm posed to put you in a tight dress and go down the red carpet when you still heard men body adjusted so me I'm trying to make excuses and I was I was a grown boy I'm 23 years old ain't processed that so you got to think about that think about the times instead of you jumping on hill Oh y-you did yo I can't believe you did instead of you worry about what I'm telling you what I need you to do right now is think about the times that your grown boy then did something crazy and you let it slide or you thought about it or he didn't really compute what it was and so when she checked on that I said mmm I felt real bad I felt a conviction in my spirit I said you know what you're right so I went to the event I went alone I went to the event I went alone ain't never right the woman again I went on about my business boom she called me now it was times later to where I'm in a conversation on the text message and you have female friends or constituents colleagues and sometimes women say love you and I'm like all right love you too don't mean nothin body because as a former grown boy I barely learned how to love a woman that I was weak so definitely mean nothing by saying love you too or another woman that I'm not even with you know and my wife I remember she read that in text message and she just randomly brought it up one day yeah you'll be telling women you love them in the text message love you hmm oh you can read my message you even remember girl you know that I mean and you know that just how do you people be talking out here you know that I mean then you know cuz it'll be like somebody that I'm working with somebody I'm helping but then my wife she told me something she said because he did the thing I know man and I knew how to play the game but I didn't really I wasn't high on my horse it sense feeling like oh I'm swagalicious ooh women want me I wasn't that type of guy where I'm like thinking I'm thinking I look good and all that and what why she told me she said listen the women that you working with coaching or doing projects you know TV weird or what a books with writing book for these women single and when they see you and they talk to you and they see that you're a faithful man that you were good man the women want a man like you they want you so when they say love you she said that meaning something that's flirting and if you say that bank or if you talking to a client and you tell her you know you're a very beautiful woman any man will want you she said you say that kind of stuff to a woman they take that to heart and they're gonna think Oh Tony attracted to me Tony basically telling me if he won't marry he'll be with me and she my wife she knew me that I just gasps everybody up you know I blow everybody head they got anybody men and women got any kind of guilt and you need to do that you need to pursue that you need to go ahead and I still do it to this day and she look at my why did you just tell that person that and you know there's not that talented my listen man what people believe in they self anybody could make it you know soldier what made it all these people made it that the world thought what is this and then they made it and so on my everybody could make it and she mmmm and so she know I gas people up but she checked me on that and she said listen stop that and I probably was 24 25 so she basically but see my wife she never put me on a pedestal she never worshipped me she never worshipped me and that's the mistake that you dawn which hinders the way you approach your man if you worshiping him if you put him on a pedestal so my wife she didn't slave for me she didn't break her back for me she didn't serve me hand and foot I wasn't getting three meals a day you know this on demand no did and yeah a lot of y'all on that microphone on your microphone early you know I was none of that none of that my wife did not cater to me bow down to me serve me hand and foot she treated me like a human she treated me like a man a lot of women treat your man like a god a lot of women you'll turn your back on God and replace God with a man and your worship this man and ignore God because you'll be on your bike in fornication ignoring what your creator wants you to do to get his man what he want my wife no did that she kept me in a man's place and she I'm telling you better read this a woman's influence you hating on yourself if you ain't got the book why you acting broke busted and disgusted you're gonna stay broke busted and disgusted till you start investing in yourself I'm telling you but I read she treated me like a man and when she had something to say she'd just say it but not in a mean way not in a rude way not yelling not condescending she wouldn't make a big deal of it like call a town-hall meeting she'll just say yeah you'll be telling women love you in the message and hae-jin rebut tech message hey you know what she right she's right hey so some people take that the wrong way ya can't be using terms of endearment eight hands she right got to be careful how you complement are you complement one got to be careful and then what she started doing if she starting putting shoe on the other foot now listen I heard a battle rapper say one time I'm so he said I'm so sick a taste of my own medicine might kill me that's how I was so why was she started doing it she started putting the shoe on the other foot and she'll say so if you came and you got my phone you getting ready to Google something and you go to my messages and you see my trainer because I trying to always be men and they white man so I you know I felt that's not her style you know I felt look comfortable and she not they style either so I felt a little comfortable I'm not gonna let no man look like me trade my wife you know okay looking at muscles booty bending over flexing all gone so well but these Hill Caucasian men of course they still colossal be attractive but they just built different especially I workout in the same genome and the way I shake their hand the way I look them in the eyes they know you crossed that line you're gonna meet the Lord earlier and so I I'm you know I'm cool with that and but she'll just she'll make an example she say say you go read my text message and you see me saying to a man love you after they say love you and I say love you how you feel and when I sit there with that see this one thing that men don't oftentimes do man we rarely put the shoe on the other foot will tell you as a man we were fuss and fight and argue you down about why we could why we should be able to have him friends why should why we should be able to keep in touch with our ex I never did that why we should be able to go to the club why we should be able to go to the strip club why we should be able to watch nasty movies a man is sitting argued you down by what he feel he ought to be able to do but never take the time to realize that he would never let you do the same thing and that's what that's what you got to do with the mirror you got to put that mirror in his face pull it I Cho purse put that mirror in his face and when you put a mirror in his face and you help him put that shoe on the other foot and he got to sit down okay and if he called no that's different no that's different no because me and different me and different see if you hanging out with a man I'm a man I know me that man I'm trying you but I'm hanging out with this woman she not gonna try me she's gonna try me and I remember when I had when I first was with my wife and I had oh one a girl from my class we was in college my wife met in college and I was friends with and I that's how I try to argue I say no see it's different because with a man we are to pursue so if I don't pursue her if I don't come on her there ain't nothing gonna happen see you can't have male friends because it's the man job to pursue so it ain't they don't trust you he could come on to you then what you're gonna do if he put you in that position and me and you just got done arguing oh you're gonna be vulnerable he come under you then you gonna fall but for me I don't want her I'm not gonna come on her so nothing never gonna happen nah I'm lying through my teeth I'm lying through my teeth and I'm waiting on my opportunity to pounce that's why I don't condone having friends or the opposite sex when you're in a relationship I do not condone it cuz I know the truth of it I know the truth though a lot of people coming in comments and lie but I know the truth of a man's heart it's some men that try to come and say Oh you know I'm gonna relationship and I have a lot of female friends man hush you either like man or you waiting on you are you in love with your female friends and you waiting on your opportunity your touch on your touch them if they'll let you opportunity presents itself you finna be unzipping the pen so you could blink your eye man hush being fool to know but I'm a man used to beat you so that's what you gotta realize see a man rarely put the shoe on the other foot so what you gotta do is when you figure out your man's communication style that's when you've got to realize when you drop it on do you call it a town hall meeting hey We Need to Talk you also got to know your communication style see if you pop off at the mouth if you allow mouth if you feisty then you need to create an environment with where everything is cool calm and collected if you feisty if you're not feisty if you chill you cool calm and collected then you can say it at any time y'all could be in the car and y'all could be driving y'all could be both walking getting ready to sit on the couch y'all could be walking and getting ready to sit in the bed you bring it up at any time you know you could be sitting down having dinner you just cook and you want to bring it up get understand this understand this no matter when you bring it up no matter how you bring it up it's gonna be hard it's gonna be hard you've got to had a hard conversations in order for a relationship to work it's gonna be hard it's gonna be confrontational he's gonna take offense nine out of ten times he might laugh it off but if it's a serious matter to you you got to reiterate it let them know that this is serious I know I'm being serious no I'm being serious why really like you know do you think it's okay to like other women's pictures on Instagram and it's not a picture of her serving at a soup kitchen it's a picture of her selfie it's a picture of her showing her butt and you're liking the picture do you think that's okay yeah that's innocent just Instagram oh my good news that insecure oh my good you know you are insecure this how you wanna be oh my god this how you gonna be on some stuff to think about oh my god and he Jedi mind trick trying to flip it on you trying to make you feel crazy and you say listen I'm not insecure so don't try to pull that car it's not about insecurity this is common sense now you gotta for that mirror out okay so what if you're going on and you see this guy let's say you know of a guy and you see this guy and you just so happen to see him on your popular page and you wonder who is this what does he try to show I see it I see 14 apps and you click on his picture and then you see in the in the hearts in the likes you see my name how are you gonna feel how are you gonna feel now let's be real let's be real how are you gonna feel oh that's different cuz that's not a woman that's not a woman's place a woman should be doing it that means your thought okay now you hit them with so that's the double standard so if you do it you're not a tie but if I do it I'm a tie that's how you believe that's how you feel and see what you got to do what a man is you got a key question see the problem what a lot of women do is when you get here you start crying or you start yelling or you storm off you know what forget it you know you can't do that you can't do that you got to stay in the kitchen it's gonna get hot it's gonna get hot but see that's what he built for that's what he built for he's going to push you to the limit he's gonna try to make you feel stupid he gonna try to make you look crazy he gonna try to make you look insecure but he know he did wrong you got to stay in the kitchen you got Stata so hmm so you have a double standard so so let me ask you where does this double standard come from that a man can do something but a woman can't do it like where does that double standard that it's okay for you to do this but not okay for me so where did this come from and in whatever topic it is if he talking to his ex so if you sitting by me and I'm you go and look at my messages and I'm talking to my ex how are you gonna feel about that now this what you have to realize these responses mean everything a man may hear you believe you and know you're right but still argue with you trying to make you question your belief but if you know you right and you know this is not just about insecurity you know this is wisdom you notice this common sense you know that you're not crazy you gotta stick to your story you gotta stick to what you are dressing with him a man may know that you are right he knows you right he knows you have a point but if he sees that he can convince you that you trippin that you insecure that you immature that you jealous then he's not gonna change that behavior because you come down off your horse see you you know you all right you know what forget it when you do that then that's when he knows but when you flip it on them and say well how would you like if I do it now this right here is key this right here is key listen to me now listen seven nine this right here is key if you ask yo man how would he feel if you do the same thing and your question is concerning another man and he say that's fine I don't care about that that wouldn't bother me at all game over relationship over relationship over now listen this only this technically really right now as I'm thinking is really only you know can apply when it's dealing with another man this is what I'm telling you this one I'm tell you if he's talking to his ex and tell my they just friends he just check-in on and then you say well what if I talk to my ex and check in on him and we keep in touch if he said no that's different okay that's a double standard you call him on that no double standards are allowed if I can't talk to my ex you cannot talk to your ex there will be no double status in this relationship well if you want me to give her up then me and you just hang gonna work out because that's stupid that's immature then guess what game over relationship oh okay fine well I guess this relationship over then I guess relationship over because I'm not dealing with the double standards I refuse relationship over you got to be willing to walk away you got to be willing to walk away now if you want to have a double standard now yep on the on the flip side but is he'll coin let me tie my tie my guy okay if he says if you say well what if I talk to to my ex or if you say well what if I go to the male strip club or you say well what if I like other men pictures on Instagram or you say well what if I have male friends that I keep can't with for those y'all not from where I'm from or he can mean laughing and having a good time with so what what if it's other man that I'm keying with and then that's fine I don't care know about that but you know why because I'm not insecure like you so I'm okay because I'm confident in Who I am as a man if he says that relationship oh he don't love you he don't love you it ain't about being a confident me anybody no confidence what it's about is that he cared more about building and bonding with them other women because he knows you're not his wife and you a placeholder and he's just using you for the time being and that when he fired what he's looking for but his friend over here that he'd been courting for ten years finally drop her guard and finally stopped chasing the wrong kind of man he grown boys that she want to be with because she's not attracted to yo man cuz she think your man is square and when she finally flipped the script and starting to talk to him like you know what I don't mean to be rude or anything and I should not be saying this because I know you're in a relationship but I've been through so much I should have gave you a chance when you asked me ten years ago when he here that we hit low female friend and he caught his feet my friend when he hear that he gone and you didn't gave him three kids you didn't gave him ten years of marriage you didn't gave him everything and I love a female friend that you let live that you let stay in the picture when she flipped that screw and she tired of being dog died and she she ready to get on her bike and get your lame squirrel man a chance he's just like that he diving in headfirst you hit me and so guess what you got to realize it you got to realize when you when a man give you permission to deal with other man in any capacity so that he can continue to do what he doing with other women if it's from a like on Facebook Instagram Twitter retweet repost DM if it's from that to having lunch with a woman at work to going somewhere with a woman on the trip on a work trip conference and they driving together with he wouldn't woman if it's anything that he doing with another woman that you uncomfortable with and you check him on it and then you put the mirror in his face put the shoot have him put the shoe on his foot and he say that out that's fine with me I'm okay if you're going to go to a conference with your male coworker I'm not insecure and this to make the point so he can go out of town with his female co-worker on they work conference and they could drive together [Music] that ain't your man that's not your man he does not want you he do not want you point blank period point blank period I'm gonna tell you this right here any man that's comfortable with his woman having any kind of relations with a heterosexual male that man don't care for you you don't care for you anybody knows being secure it's by he focused other in another area he is preoccupied with something else it could not disdain it might not be another woman it could be turn nasty movies could be Angela could it be gambling could it be his drug use the smoking the drinking it could be something else but he is preoccupied don't have to be another one when he's preoccupied where he don't care enough about you and I've seen the only thing but the only thing I'm gonna prove with my wife is training with a man cuz it's just not a lot of women trainers and my wife she she just ran two and a half miles in morning I was in the bed she woke up ran two point six miles that's that's how she built like so when she workout with a woman she I worked a woman it's really it's a handful of women that could work out as hard as my wife work out like I can't do my wife work I and I played college football athlete I ran a four point three six you hit me that's found in most of the NFL right now i benchpress two hundred percent of my body weight 40 inch vertical I was a serious athlete and I can't do my wife workouts so that's why I let her trainer be a male because they're gonna work out harder they do different stuff that challenge her and anytime she workout with a woman she like man's too easy it's too easy windows don't do my workouts and but guess what she no she not Fenton pic no six-fold muscle-bound you know shemar Moore you know Boris Kodjoe Idris Elba man she she finna pick no ball head short white man even she know I'm a work out with a man but it's gonna be a certain type of man so that my husband know I'm not attracted to this guy this guy know that I'm he ain't got a chance with me and we hit a work and I'm in the gym too I go I'm at the gym to why they working out that's a lot of people want to try to make that talked about that's insecure and that's image that's weird stuff that's weird stuff because humans gonna do what humans do so you got to be careful and even in situation like that stuff could happen so you're still taking a little chance but you got no what kind of change you you will intake but see not me it wouldn't make sense for me to go work out with a woman because if a woman can't work out if a woman trainer can't work out my wife hard enough how she's gonna work me out hard enough now I know some of y'all women say oh listen women work out hard but just not what we had maybe what you had not what we get Oh what I'm trying could do this net we're not getting to their argument okay doesn't what this body don't get sidetracked and speaking of some of y'all watch an hour-long video and will ask me a question about meaningless things so are you saying that women trainers can't train someone as hard as the man doesn't what the video byte so that let me know your spirit is a spirit of discord and you coming to sow discord and that's how you end up blocked telling what we're talking about and you know that hey I'd be happy to address address the devil wedded rector what a devil yet I know some of y'all get tired of him sidebars but when Jesus saw Satan in Peter he said Satan get thee behind me he ignore he didn't ignore he say say get thee behind me so that's what I'd be doing so y'all understand that so listen to me now a heterosexual male ok that's what y'all to understand says word and lady didn't know what it mean a man who like women is never going to be ok with his woman being buddy-buddy and besties with another man if that other man also likes women if your man is okay with you being friends with your ex I'm not talking about talking to your ex because y'all have children together okay stay inside the bounds that make this thing make sense I'm not on say none that don't make sense so make it make sense if it don't make sense that ain't what I'm saying okay so this man when you put the mirror on him if he say he okay with you dealing with heterosexual men as friends going to the male strip club watching men on nasty movies and you're watching a thing do what they do he if he say he okay with that if he say he okay with you being friends with your ex if he say he okay with you have a male friend that you keep can with if he says I'm fine with that I'm found that they don't bother me I'm not insecure like you Ron relationship over Ron the relationship is a / listen what I'm telling you don't fool yourself no I have male friends and my husband is just secure that's what you call maturity that's what you call secure excuse me not everybody is like you Tony that would they be trying to tell me know that what you call Don you is being dumb because you gonna have your male friend believe me yeah if your hug okay with that you'll help it up to something okay if you won't believe me you better dig a little deeper your husband up to something if you don't believe me you better dig a little deeper and you're gonna find out what he preoccupied with because it ain't no man in the world that's gonna be occupied with you and be okay sharing you with another heterosexual man in a way that's outside of business and strictly business want blank period so now listen to me it's the whole message here cuz now y'all know I tell stores because everybody think differently so I got to say it different ways but here here's the overall message hopefully you got this far but here's the overall message is you have to address every behavior immediately the next opportunity you get to speak to your man you address the behavior every behavior that is a toxic behavior a dangerous behavior every behavior that if it is multiplied by three it will ruin your relations it will in the relationship it will destroy the relationship you got to multiply it by three because with time that behavior the more he gets comfortable the more he gets complacent with time that behavior will only worsen it will only get worse so you look at this behavior okay and this and let me help you understand so leaving the toilet seat up times three that's not going in your relationship it may annoy you that's not a deal-breaker talking to a woman on the DM liking other random women pictures following half-naked women online times three that's gonna ruin your relationship watching prime times three that's gonna ruin your relationship going to the club or the strip club times three that's gonna ruin your relationship gambling times three that's gonna ruin your relationship smoking times three illegal smoking not not a cigarette that's that's gonna run in your relationship because you're gonna die along the throat cancel early or emphysema but illegal getting high illegal stuff times three that's gonna ruin your relationship talking to his ex as friends and it's not about just business strictly business about their kids where you can see what they talking about being a conversation and he could be on speakerphone with her because it's that strictly business but they talking as friends x three that's gonna in your relationship him having female friends that he confides in that he talked to I'm not talking about Merry Christmas Happy Easter happy birthday I'm not talking about business situation where all they're talking about is the spreadsheets for work tomorrow and you can read every line in the text and he could talk on the speakerphone with her any time he talked to her and it's strictly business I'm not talking about that I'm talking about if they friends he confide in her she confides in him x three that's gonna ruin your relationship you see what I'm saying so any behavior that if you multiply it by three it can ruin your relationship you have to address it immediately immediately the next day the next hour you have to address it and what you have to do is identify do your addresses sitting down if you get hot and he get hot you address it sitting down if y'all both cool super chill won't bus are great you can address it standing up meaning y'all gonna be walking y'all could be crossing paths in the kitchen so um quick question um I was on your phone and saw a text message and it looks a little flirty with um Jessica what's that about okay and you address it right then if he's not a communicator and he's terrible at communication okay called a town-hall meeting you ain't springing on him he already bad at communicating James preying on if he is a super communicator if he can look he collided fast you got to catch him off guard with it you can't call the town hall meeting cuz he already know he gonna figure out cuz he know what he doing wrong he gonna know what you told me and he gonna have his whole argument ready you hit me so what I want you to consider today jury before you decide on your verdict it's considered this he don't have his whole argument for the court of love so understand this do not be afraid to address a man do not be afraid to confront a man do not be afraid to bring it up women always ask when should I bring it up I said I Brent just bring it up he's a man he's not God you don't have to petition the throne to approach this ain't this ain't the Bible days where the woman trying to approach the king this yo spanking must have booted man approached him bring up the issue address it nip it in the bud get it out the way deal with it and if he don't want to deal with it if he can't let it go he can make Chane listen no if ands buts about it you gotta let him call Edit on the guys god bless you we'll be inside

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 45,787

Rating: 4.9257374 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: CdzrhmUAmZM

Length: 59min 48sec (3588 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 21 2020