Half-Life """""Speedrun"""""

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my yes what a lovely day in god's country working at black mesa research facility what a marvelous day i do declare nothing could possibly go wrong on such a splendid day why i don't even think there'll be a 911 scale disaster [Music] so half-life this game has the goofiest goddamn strats in the universe i did not know previously how like silly this game is but this is a very silly game and i'm excited to run it for you usually i think speedrunners start at uh anomalous materials it's just sort of an agreed upon thing but i'm gonna do the tram section because uh you can do hokey [ __ ] in the tram you can stop the tram look at this if you stand on this thing when it's going around a corner you can just stop it it's pretty good so look at this right around the corner you can see the blades of it it's the helicopter that's like oh it's just about to take off but you can you can just sit here forever and just watch it and be like oh yeah well we'll take off then oh you're just about to take off and we go around the corner oh yeah take off i'll wait i got all [ __ ] day so true story i was gonna do the source version of this game uh instead and i was gonna use like the hd models that like piss everyone off and all that [ __ ] but uh it turns out the source version of this game is so bad that it's like not even fun to speed run there's an incredibly broken beta version of the game that i saw some speed runners just completely demolish in a different way but uh all the like goofy ass skips of half-life are missed it's the g-man here we are i'm stuck in the thing well we are off to an absolutely flying start look at this [ __ ] dude oh he's clipping through the car the hell that's i don't think that's supposed to happen saving and loading can do weird things sometimes in this game all right and here we're going to start using the the main trick that we'll be using for most of this run which is a quick saving every two seconds i'm also not gonna be hop because i like my [ __ ] wrists hey barney eat [ __ ] casserole speed run what are you doing my god gordon we're all going to die i always wondered about this picture this must just be like the kid of like one of the dev team or something there's like a laid law reference here too so i imagine it's a similarly cheeky thing fun fact these say like funny things by the way i was looking at this during my actual playthrough it says something like if you can read this then you're a crazy guy or some [ __ ] like that sometimes we have to wait for the scientists but here we can use them to open the door there's like something about like npc's automatically open doors when they stand next to them there you go so these guys we have to listen to their spiel but at the very least we can make fools of them while the other is talking scripted lines just mash also these guys voices are like swapped this guy looks like he should have that guy's voice and that guy looks like he should have this guy's voice you know so in this room one thing that i never noticed for ages i played this game like two or three times before i noticed this uh when the catastrophe happens a bunch of vortigaunts spawn into this room and just fall through the air and then despawn but you can like catch them you can catch one with the cart and you can you can like catch them by like jumping up to them it's amazing i'll show y'all i'll tell you all about it all right here it is the sample and when you try to like this when you hit e and try to move things in this game they go like they're just fling across the [ __ ] room this [ __ ] empty all right so that's going to catch a vortigaunt and then i'm going to try to catch up oregon over here too yeah there he is and he like floats in the air so now i can get killed during this like cutscene basically oh engaged okay oh the morpheme there it is the hevc is just giving us an earful during this little interlude to those of you who don't know the morphine only gets administered there we go uh once every like 30 minutes or something like that so uh you only hear that voice line every once in a while most people probably don't even notice that sorry i just had to like 911 over and over there a few times just to get the the glitch right what is this thing riddle me this what is this pikmin one all right so this room you may notice it's a little different now there's a little light up there and there's like a ramp and these pipes broke when we entered the room there was a little animation there and uh for whatever reason it's like they they like changed a previous version of the map but not a later version this version of the map uh pro post crisis has this little light and it has this ramp you can walk up and you can jump up here and for some reason these little cuffs on this pipe are a door object and when you touch them they move like a door i so that that's in the game they had it coming all right this part i got stuck on this part for so long in my first play through this because i didn't understand where to go it's kind of esoteric you just gotta walk past this guy and you gotta balance on this little thing here at that they didn't even properly animate him jibbing what a [ __ ] game all right there you go plenty of health to spare and this is how you get to the rest of the game it's really [ __ ] it was way ahead of its time no actually this was a bit it's the worst [ __ ] textures in the world zone you've been subject to a grapefruit bit all right so you may be thinking grapefruit you dumb [ __ ] idiot you quick saved on this thing you can make it back die now double die oh yeah round it around at this is a very important all speed runners do this every pro speed runner of this game does this because because this is a very fast strat that works very well i can make it i can make it i can break these cuffs saved at the exact same time as it loaded whenever i do [ __ ] like that i'm like oh did i just accidentally like frame perfect ruin my game some like glitch ladders in gold source engine are are not cool oh no unhand them it wants you beast all right now come over here right over here yep uh-huh there you go so here it is dr newell scheduled chaos theory we're gonna break into gaben's office and steal a copy of half-life three bro get me out of here oh there's a gun it's good to see you he's just giving affable pleasant conversation while 10 things happen some of these uh i saw a very interesting video uh that was sort of detailing some information that was released by one of valve's texture artists oh [ __ ] i'm sorry i thought you were i thought you were a bad guy but basically it was the sources the real life image sources of the uh a lot of the textures in half-life look at that vent that's cut off terrible work by the way no since valve is based in washington a lot of the pictures i was like damn i think i [ __ ] recognized that like one of the pictures uh that they used for like the sky boxes uh it was like a reference picture look that's the smelling ai it was of like dry falls washington state it was incredible i was like holy [ __ ] the black mesa sky boxes are inspired by eastern goddamn washington there was another one that i was like 90 sure was uh inside the costco in grace washington which i don't know if people know about this but there's a city in washington called grace that has a population of like three people it's incredible scientist action zombie all right oh here's a weird [ __ ] skip uh this this is probably the most famous skip in the game yeah i feel most people probably if you've never even seen a half-life speed run you possibly know about this i love the scientist noises and there he goes you know what i said about npc's opening doors for you so little known fact you probably don't know this uh this entire level can be skipped by that like that was a level just now this is the next level we skipped like a massive part of the game congrats i love this little hallway it's just i love this game by the way this game is [ __ ] sick if you've ever like uh oh you only know like uh oh the funny scientist screams or whatever it's like yeah the funny scientist does scream but uh there's so much more to love about this game besides the goofiness uh i really do i feel like half-life is one of those series that is weirdly like it's simultaneously over and underrated like everybody knows oh half-life three blah blah blah everybody loves half-life except i feel like a lot of people haven't actually played half-life and uh i just gotta say it's really fun and immersive and cool it is also goofy as hell and buggy is [ __ ] uh for instance there's a ledge here that you can walk on it's just nothing there's a supplementary ledge this elevator the the sound of it moving anybody else think it sounds like the pyro from tf2 it sounds like you just booted into a tf2 server you know and it's doing that [ __ ] this server is vac secured you know it sounds like that every single time i go on one of those elevators that makes that sound i think of the pyro oh yeah here's another fun glitch this is not how it used to be in the cd version i am told but look at this totally not broken and awesome fun animation i think one of the things in this release of the game that is like definitely different is there's so much z fighting there's like textures that are placed like right over each other and they just like do that [ __ ] you see that constantly and i've seen footage of other versions of the game uh like the version that speed runners use and uh it doesn't have that in certain places so i don't know how much of that is broken by modern computers there you go slick it i don't always get those ladder clings but when i do i feel good one thing that i've noted about the alien wildlife in this game specifically the zen wildlife i guess we're not talking about [ __ ] race x a lot of them have three limbs i don't know this is my here's my game theory i think maybe they had a common ancestor that had uh three limbs you know do both squids have three legs actually looks like they just have two that is cool and then later on we see that the nile length has a third arm grafted onto its body uh possibly to make it compatible to control the vortigaunts and and other such aliens uh shit's pretty cool also i [ __ ] up i went the wrong way i really like this room by the way it's got like the the mechanical dangling wires and and you know they were trying to go for that because they animated these dangling back and forth it's like ah the machinery and the alien wildlife are blending in with one another so this is a cool part of the game where i die uh no you can jump up here and press the button from the other side and the button just like pokes through the wall there all right excuse me folks barney we'll be seeing you later bye bye okay and now we just sit here take a nice drink of water while we listen to this thing [ __ ] die in agony look at this that's a cute little jump this is uh this part always reminds me of portal and yes i know portal came out after this and was almost certainly influenced by this but uh that's just with my my millennial frame of reference oh here's the fun part i don't know why i get so much joy out of [ __ ] like this but if you just crouch in mid air you just perfectly land on that little nook portal and half life take place in same universe uh i don't know about that they have i mean you know of course they're from the same company but uh they got a pretty similar vibe but i don't know if that's uh that's two that's a little too game theory for me and yep you're my favorite depth beauty sorry [ __ ] here's a cool level uh let's see if the gargantual will chase me because you can get up this with [ __ ] trip mines uh i think i misplaced that one oh [ __ ] he's coming he's coming get me out of here get me out okay come on this is this is challenge mode because i [ __ ] aggroed this guy and then i quick saved [Music] it thank you there you go simple as that and that's blast let's just skip everybody over there barney get [ __ ] get under there dude just get in there all right eat [ __ ] and die this is uh this is the cool guy skip this might take a few tries nope i got it first try first try if you land on a little mini slope you don't take fall damage and uh one can only hope that i survive this so there's some cool guys here that shoot at you and uh there's a door behind them that is not actually openable in game i can only assume that's how they got in there though because otherwise this is just nothing this is just like a death pit for them bye here's uh here's a cool part of the game that has a missing texture i remember this from my first playthrough i'll never forget this texture uh and it's weird it pops into place so i i figure it's not missing it's just like glitched out let's go ahead and there's the spoiler alert there's a [ __ ] guy down here let me just see if i can [ __ ] i gotta aim down aim down there you go look at this guy what's he doing that's a you do a mean robot vortigaunt so this guy you guys shoot right in the backpack that's his weak spot no my backpack that's where all my organs are so here's a [ __ ] like thrilling part of the game the dumbass rocket guy team rocket is here folks oh [ __ ] you can like just really quickly tap control to duck underneath them and uh ninja dodge did he just blow himself up yes that guy supposedly planted that trip mine and then is just completely not cognizant of it existing there so yeah that guy's not the brightest tool in the shed the hev suit jerks you off like master chief's suit now question are you [ __ ] [ __ ] me is that a real thing is that what is that what cortana is for it's the dialogue guys all i know is he's been killing my buddies they're still talking they're funny dialogue all i know is he's been killing my me this room nice room right there's a nice missing texture over there uh or like a glitched one or whatever but you can actually go up this and just leave the bounds of the area just completely and normally this is something you you know maybe would think you would need no clip to see but you can go down here and see the room where they store the rocket before it is fired and trust me we can't actually if we could just peek our head through there just a tiny just a pixel we would be able to see the rocket sitting in there and then that's the box where it goes to when it uh fires off later so yep that's in the game if you wedge your way up here right in there is the button to launch the thing and uh you can just do this but uh yeah we can watch this this cut scene from outside the room and see that the textures on the back of it are completely [ __ ] up because you're never supposed to watch them from that side what kind of flag is that alright you can stand right in the blast of this and just be fine but uh yeah there it is best room in the game that should be how gordon goes to zen just saluting i do this for the us of a of ufs all right here's the big fishy part i think right yeah the speed runners uh you've probably all seen the uh half-life in like 22 minutes or whatever uh speedrunners like bounce off the top of that fish it's amazing like ichthyosaur also that barnacle strat they probably use that in the speedrun i would assume or maybe they just b hop there i discovered that barnacle strat on my goddamn own this floor is supposed to crumble and uh it's the same trigger zone as spawning a vortigaunt here but i like to think that it's like butterfly effect so like not breaking this made it so that the vortigaunt it was never born look at this oh it's a demon might as well grab those sack charges as they say oh is it what wait wait jimin's just here you can do that yo that's incredible i had no idea you could freeze the g-man that's incredible uh and yes fun fact you cannot kill the g-man he makes metal sounds that's a classic thing i think it's supposed to even be that like if you go into noclip uh it's supposed to be like oh he's such a powerful force that even if you cheat you can't kill him i've gone through this game quite a few times now i've never seen the g-man just like give up and just freeze in place there all right it is you isn't it the science team has been tracking your progress we'll be freaking seeing you later this is the room that kills the damageless run by the way this stupid little room with like three vortigaunts where you like bounce around on the ice and like slide everywhere uh this is the thing that makes it impossible to play through the game legit without uh taking any damage whatsoever otherwise the rest of the entire game is doable but there you just use the suit armor um this part i seem to remember you can like yeah you can walk on this for some reason that's weird just one of those tiny little things you know this is a speed run but in spirit it's kind of also a glitch hunting so this part is [ __ ] amazing these ninjas it's like oh what a tense awesome [ __ ] fight this is in the main game and then in the speed run you literally just treat them like toddlers and and don't even give them the [ __ ] time of day just like yep just slowly turn it yep okay and get out of here oh [ __ ] oh no wait i actually died i've never died doing that because normally they just uh they just kind of dance around and like do ninja flips and [ __ ] uh like right now they're just like dancing off in the corner somewhere i don't need to worry about them there you go simple as that folks and then oh health kit oh no yo angelo oh and by the way people always when i was playing half-life people were like oh desync you gotta check out d-sync man i didn't know about him i did check out a video or two to uh to learn some tricks and one of them that i literally thought was like i thought they had a modded version of the game that was like added this as a joke but these moving like star wars i've got a bad feeling about this crusher things are carts and if you hit operate on them you can make them go backwards shit's [ __ ] insane oh i didn't conserve my momentum what a terrible speedrunner i didn't even go the right [ __ ] way here's a cool part where the animation is broken you want to see the ingenious way that they uh made this little water meter this gauge animate they put a [ __ ] blue lego in there and just made it move down and the textures aren't like properly aligned so it you can just see it also what was gordon's plan here like imagine if gordon did all this [ __ ] got into the silo and then the water lowered and there wasn't a little great like vent here imagine if it was just like there's no room there's there's no door you're [ __ ] gordon oh yeah and barney is supposed to uh die to a head crab or a barnacle here barney cole but if you intercept the barnacles instead then he just walks in and looks confused he's just like wait i was fated to die here how am i alive not a whole lot to say during this part honestly this uh there's there's a broken water texture actually you guys you guys like that where the water has like a seam in it yeah yeah those are properly aligned oh here's the galaxy quest part of the game the what the [ __ ] is this machine for part of the game all right you hear it right we're going to skip this room for now because there's a very important thing there it's all sealed off all right barney you come with me yeah we might live longer yeah living longer is definitely what we will do right now you just hang tight out there he's like looking in the door he's like wait let me in he's like oh what did i do what did i do to upset you gordon let's watch the moment he pops there it is i'm gonna go up here and i'm going to be a bystander in all of this because i think not only do some military dudes come in but some alien grunts also just come out of the floor yep so uh actually can i just toss the [ __ ] schnoiks down here too yeah wreak havoc this part's cool i love all the little like interactions between the different like enemy factions you know like seeing the aliens fighting the the soldiers and [ __ ] that [ __ ] is just so cool and they do it a lot too do you refuse to go another step oh look at this guy oh he's walking i think you can make this thing like go backwards yeah like wedge yourself in the door yeah yeah the magnificent jumping barrels get another one yeah and die okay so right around the corner is the damn segment and uh cool speed runners do the uh gauss jump there and go around the corner and it looks super [ __ ] awesome and the music plays and everything's great i go up here alright i slowly slide up that surface and just take a peek up here to the world where on the edge of the world everything is like green and you're under water so you can swim yeah this is half-life half-life is broken so just step right through here and here's my scrub strat all right for getting around the same corner the speed runners do and uh oh my god there's some like it's like above water submechanophobia for this thing because the helicopter has not yet like aggroed and just go over here and oh no just go right here and wedge yourself into this little nook so you don't take any damage and it's as simple as that and that's the fun fact this is the fastest way to beat the game actually uh here's another like fun moment where i think if you stand right here and turn this wheel you get like stuck in the wall yep i now cannot move at all that's just a thing cool game the famous cliffside and this is uh this is the skybox i was telling you guys about that's like inspired by dry falls in my very own eastern washington that i bring up a weird amount in these videos i now realize but yes the valve theme plays here hazardous environments or whatever uh great song okay this is a cheeky way to kill the copter put those up there go in here grab the rocket and uh just eat this [ __ ] instantly get the hell out of here also this door apparently takes like 10 000 [ __ ] points of damage until you can destroy it and there's an identical door behind it and it doesn't lead anywhere so fun fun not jank i think there's a head crab in here ah get the [ __ ] out of here go jump off a cliff fall you know what no die there you go yay i'm still alive what the [ __ ] yeah i didn't know why is there not a kill box down there sorry abrupt noise whoa it curved wait the what oh my god wait no that's not real that's not real that's not in the game that's not in the game oh my god i think you can control the enemy rockets with the laser pointer that is [ __ ] incredible let me test this oh my [ __ ] god i had no idea that was a thing every time i play this game i learned some new [ __ ] disgusting jank shoot and then no you can't do the half-life 2 thing where you like zoom the thing around a lot come on shoot me no that's not gonna work okay well it's good to know it's good to know this game's completely [ __ ] broken anyway oh this is a cool room where all the textures change when it loads in do this game has uh some randomized textures actually certain textures in the game are random every time you play it and are like different shit's whack ah damn i can't do the funny skip i'm gonna have to actually play this like a real person which just sucks i hate having to play games like a real person oh that was like directly that came in direct contact with your face sir you're not dead these guys suck okay this is a cool room where everything will [ __ ] explode if i make one false move this is another cheese method that i discovered on my own on my own casual play through i you know i just uh i was like you know the space bar is very loud i need to tap it quieter and then i didn't get like the jump that i needed because i tapped it too quietly [ __ ] out of here your disgrace oh [ __ ] i heard a grenade i heard a grenade going absolutely [ __ ] insane all right so we got to reload every single weapon because uh coming up here is the best room in the entire video game oh by the way all the barney's when they have to change sooner or later when they press the buttons here they like to make the beep boops with their mouth well i just basically did the absolute worst possible job showing that [Music] all right here it is the mother lode best room best room give me when i blast open this door there's some grunts behind it that like it takes them a while to realize that they're dead yep there they go so we're coming up on the part of the game where i i don't have to play the video game anymore which is pretty cool i like that part yeah there you go get up into the nether plane i think i'll be able to survive the fall down here oh there he is the man of the hour my savior barney let me land on his head so i take less fall damage is he gonna say hold it when i enter the room [Laughter] i just crossed a trigger zone oh that was the smell ai he just commented on the smell here's the part where they show off that their ai can navigate small hazards oh my god and uh this is this is the part of the game where i don't have to play the video game anymore fun fact barney moves forward uh oh did i do that wrong nope i did it right and there you go folks that is gg you may notice that i have healed more health than is possible to heal in this game uh i'm now gonna go take a break while this thing gives me unspeakable amounts of health for like five minutes making the rest of the game like impossible to lose this is a this is a bug with the door jamming yourself into this door and the door over there too although it's way harder there uh it gives you one health per like frame because it's supposed it does negative one damage i think that is literally why it does this is it supposed to be hurting me but it's negative one damage so it gives me health anyway uh we're gonna sit here and hump barney i actually am gonna go take a break uh this is my mid this is my mid game like go take take a [ __ ] piss get some water uh so i'll be right back guys [Music] someone said watch his hp overflow into the negative well it's it's funny you should mention that because if you do this while you have suit energy it will add the health to your suit charge instead and the little sprite it like takes over 255 the classic maximum integer uh and it uses sprites from elsewhere in the game as numbers so it's it's incredible i'll put up footage of it happening as i'm saying these words during the edit but uh it's it's amazing eventually the entire sprite sheet shows up as one sprite and then it crashes the game so by the way uh when i do this barney will die and the game will like give me a game over but if i walk into the loading zone that is very near to here then we can make it so the screen does not fade to black and i don't die and there's also a fun little glitch in this room too if you shoot those guys they uh they walk out here or at least this guy does and it breaks the gargantuas ai so they're just chilling now we're just buddies hey friend watch what happens to this car when i shoot this guy weird that's a that is a forceful wind that that bullet caused so now for the rest of the run i will have 255 health i mean unless i like there are some like instant death things did you know barnacles barnacles could just chomp this [ __ ] straight off of me here's another skip that i just like found casually in my own play through because again the game's jank gee i wonder if this [ __ ] in the ceiling is gonna crumble down i [ __ ] wonder so yeah normally this part is like a huge pain in the ass uh not when you've got infinite health though it's not infinite but like at this point functionally infinite and uh man does it feel good to just tell this part of the game to [ __ ] off yeah sure trigger it i don't even care yeah shoot me [ __ ] look at this 15 15 excuse me gents i'll just be going through here hey uh do you [ __ ] mind jesus here's the second fight with the ninjas and yet again i mean i i was made a fool of the first time i said this but truly we can just ignore them we i just don't care like earlier i i had human amounts of health now i'm far more powerful than you could ever imagine he got the extra strength morphine get that like [ __ ] deluxe morphine there's a very important glitch in this section that i simply must get or else the run cannot continue i think i've already [ __ ] it up the last entrance to the lambda complex every other has been sealed off to contain the invasion when we realized that you might actually make it here we threw straws to see who should be oh you okay there bro you good all right so fun fact this guy is now completely invulnerable i think yep he can now no longer take damage just ever uh and this is all because i killed him while he was on his path back to he wants to stand right there uh but i am blocking him currently and he will not be allowed to die until he goes to that spot so you can just like pump all sorts of [ __ ] damage into this dude until the cows come home and he won't die until he actually moves to that spot gordon change the world my final message there he goes what a hero little jump there for strats so now that we have this amazing health we can do yet another incredible skip this is a whole section of the game where you gotta run around hitting buttons and [ __ ] and we're gonna tell all of that to [ __ ] off hop on top of that there's a ladder up there let's see if i can grab it nope i flew straight past it and uh so you know this whole level we're supposed to fill this thing with water so you can swim up to the top and uh instead we can just explode our way to the top yeah i don't even really care sorry guys i'm not really not really in the mood for this shenanigans right now all right now the teleport section and i [ __ ] up so the order here is i gotta go two four seven the classic and i think one of these portals i didn't notice this i didn't like see this in my initial playthrough one of these portals just outright kills you the nine portal this one just kills you just straight up no cap no lie it just does that it doesn't even like teleport you into a room full of enemies or anything it just kills you by the way did i tell you guys this game literally has a yahoo like the most genuine like it's literally you crouch and then jump all right in this segment we're supposed to wait for this like long extended sequence where this guy's like i'm starting the science up but you just shoot a hornet into there and like sacrifice it and for some reason the thing that's supposed to instantly kill you just doesn't it just doesn't this is so [ __ ] dumb i'm gonna shoot a couple more times go to your scripted spot and fall over like you're on family guy oh [ __ ] i just gotta instantly go over here stand on this [ __ ] hokey thing i love that the baby head crabs actually teleport over with you that's so funny and uh here's my favorite part of the game the part where this ship just straight up flies into this island and eats absolute [ __ ] like crusty two-bit explosion it does that every time whoa i just passed right through that guy no let me up uh could you stop burning my ass sir uh one of the cool like origins of the textures in this game apparently this barrel texture is taken from the back of a little blue insect by the way some of these last few rooms in zen are like incredibly annoying the final room in the game before the like final boss is just like stupid uh can i can i do my famous joker's trick here i got some trip mines i've never tried it here but i can only assume it works trick joker's trick oh i didn't even get up that high how about i try to make like an even bigger explosion you know then take the satchel and boom yeah look at that yeah oh my god oh there's an alien controller inside this oh yeah oh i used up all my satchel charges though that sucks whatever you can use the satchel charges in the nylon fight in a really funny way but honestly [ __ ] worth it all right space baby it's time to eat [ __ ] so these boost pads uh that i've been using these have a very very interesting quality uh which is they also boost projectiles shot through them so you may notice if this guy if any alien controllers try to shoot past there the projectiles just get blocked or shot straight up in the air and i can do that with my contact grenades and just eat them at him and they hit him square in the [ __ ] jaw and now just pump him full of damage until his head opens up unceremoniously like a [ __ ] weird flower oh yeah rockets also get affected by this but since i have the laser pointer they just do that hey his head opened up all right oh what wait that's not on cue wait you're not supposed to die [ __ ] you folks that's not how the story goes we can't have that happen that happened in my casual play through too i did too much damage to him on the ground so that when he raised up he [ __ ] instantly died no i gotta get the [ __ ] the gamer shot get out the bye bye gun this thing makes things go bye-bye alright get out of my life nylin they like put these contact grenades up here just so you could do this [ __ ] i i have to honor it this is the this is the gamer ammo there it is folks half-life one completed with jank garbage the whole way oh and did i mention there's like a floating spike in this room there's a spike that's just floating in mid-air [ __ ] the game's ending i can't even show you all the jank it's a gmail tip
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Channel: grayfruit
Views: 432,534
Rating: 4.9573574 out of 5
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Id: PRUaP0HNt9U
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Length: 42min 23sec (2543 seconds)
Published: Sun Aug 08 2021
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