Pong Pong Never Die

today we're going to play a real fighting game we're going to play two real fighting games actually uh the first of these games is called pawns [Music] pongs so like pong but like the sequel like alien to aliens oh of course palms we're gonna play pawns so we have controllers we're using the d-pads the d-pad okay i have no idea what these are truly i have no idea so puns i was just summoned here with no information i did draw a little salt circle on the ground i actually can't leave it but here's the thing if you guys want to help i'm trying to trick him into letting me out so i can rule the world what is he saying i just hear a bunch of hissing and like static this is 2d pong the best fighting game this is where boys become a men oh yeah oh but what the [ __ ] wait we can move around oh [ __ ] oh this no [ __ ] this is chaos what the [ __ ] we're doing really lies it was 2d pong it said 2d this is not 2d no no wait no yeah yeah yeah score on yourself scoring yourself [Music] bounce off nothing that's the thing that happens yeah yeah you know what oh what you just like angled it off i we're playing the first video oh my god there's there's so many yep yep we're gonna do ball pong ball pong does this this just seems like actual fun hold on oh i think i'm controlling the paddles and you're controlling the ball wait oh my god i am controlling the ball i get a point every single [ __ ] time it hits this is unfair oh i got one i got one goblin no i'm destroying this this is that was so hard unfair all right we would swat we would swap controllers but we can't it's it's corona virus we can't do it we can't or it's illegal all right blind pong a lion i i want to say i have only played a couple of these so i don't know what the [ __ ] some of these are these are all a mystery ball always served straight ahead i'm assuming it's just oh god bruh so wait are we bouncing it i think so do you get a point did i get a point i got a point i have not moved here it comes i'm gonna take a drink of water yeah oh you know what here it is here it comes delicious refreshing drink of water just delightful okay here it comes here comes yeah you're gonna clip in the mic so hard oh did you just get a point i got that was my curveball my classic curveball boy do i i love playing kong i love playing pong yeah i got destroyed master blind pawn that's crazy that you're so good at blind breakdown phone oh is this like uh breakout huh oh what oh i tried to use the joystick oh no it broke me we both tried to use the joystick instantly okay i get it oh this is actually great so uh pong the original pong often considered like the first video game or whatever i don't know if that's actually true i think it's some like tank simulation [ __ ] oh actually that was like used by the military's like technically actually you know [ __ ] oh i think he has a 710 split oh that's what we call a curveball right there folks i almost got stung by my own curveball though though i'm a tiny paddle oh you're so small you aren't oh you're dead who has who is a famous teeth gap mike tyson oh my god he's speaking of punch out good first video games oh oh oh i'm dead oh yes yes i have to defend with a [ __ ] pixel i defended with the pixel and then i had no pixels very true i'm not saying you didn't earn it is it true so the the god gamers like the professional breakout pongers it's always it's just tic tac tic tac toe uh eeny meeny miny moe where it's always like the first one you start with it's whoever like hits the serve it's just yeah it's like tic-tac-toe and uh connect four they're solved solved as they say that's what i was thinking of solved breakout pong is solved it's like a rubik's cube you just need to learn the algorithms i solved a rubik's cube once at our friend lucas's direction he was like here's how you do this yeah okay and i did it and i was like cool now i'm never going to touch one again i was thinking about rubik's cubes i was like was the intent of the rubik's cube to like design for people who like the algorithms and [ __ ] or was it just for dumbasses like you and i who are just gonna endlessly fiddle and then give up basically i i think that's oh [ __ ] please don't yeah i heard of the one pistol pistol pistol pistol people have like a fan theory that you're like a sociopath murderer and every time something like that happens i'm like oh it's like i don't like pistols just as like the party crouch junior lip lick uh-oh oh yeah your toast you can't hit it with one pistol [Music] oh it's actually this is the last oh this is it oh okay oh what this is the final one i thought 11 was it that was good you the breakout success break out success uh now we got b-u-t-t-o-n pong but i don't know what the [ __ ] that means interesting brutally unfair tactics are okay now we get to punch each other in real life play this point with your not oh god well i was already playing with my non-dominant hand oh i was too yeah left hand because we're using xbox controllers okay also the bounce just made a little chord oh i i just realized i'm listening to this on headphones oh god lose lose lose lose lose hold your breath for the duration of this point okay oh i'm glad you lost damn it now i probably count backwards 100 99 98 96 holy sit on the ground wow you suck at this damn it play this point trying to cover your opponent's eyes it's coronavirus we can't do that we can't do that no fake a heart attack or stroke during this are you okay wait is it andrew oh i'm alive it was a fake heart attack that i just had please point using your nose okay well that sucked wow i just got snot move your head like the crowd at a tennis match looking looking back and forth nice oh we have to watch the screen we should have set up the webcam for this i had no [ __ ] what is b-u-t-t-o-n about this by the way um bob um the real secret is [ __ ] talking tactfully every time i should talk i'm losing bread but my [ __ ] talks have not been very good talking [Music] take five step for [ __ ] the i'm gonna scoop does that count i scooted my control like this as far as i can go away with my controller if you can talk while we're holding our breaths then i can scoot backward instead of stuck i mean my breath was being held i didn't take any more breathes that doesn't count you know you're letting go of your breath that's not holding it i hold it i'm releasing it doesn't exhaling is unfair in holding your breath please point with your nose touch the screen [ __ ] my foot's all tangled in the cables i'm oh i made it the easiest game of my life oh my god look away and use your peripheral vision that sucks oh that really sucks i don't see anything well use your [ __ ] periphery dude i think i missed it oh okay compose a haiku about this point during this point [ __ ] play this point while doing an impression of al pacino what's that sound well i'm here at duncan it's me al pacino who can forget my movie heat i don't know what al pacino sounds like we just do this forever just remember the the secret to impressions you take down the controllers and have a discussion about al pacino i don't know who the [ __ ] he is hey my name's al pacino it kind of sounds like this was he in he's in like some martin scorsese he was in um the most recent scorsese movie the irishman and he was also in the duncancino commercial touchdown which is arguably one of the best commercials of our of our short lifetimes you know what else i think he was in cheetahs play this point like no one's watching baby let's go well now that no one's watching mind games folks so glad that you shoot you got to talk while we were holding our breath this is what you get this is what you get you got baited your love of al pacino what opportunity to pull me out of my misery let's do a countdown i just actually wanted to be 7-eleven because i think that'd be funny so i'll let you have that nice point [Music] seven eleven seven eleven slurpees buy seven nice little no no i swear destiny no all right entertainment pong i don't know what the edu means are we gonna get random facts do we have to oh player two go what is the capital of guinea-bissau i don't even i don't guinea sounds like a place right now by dr seuss it's ryder oh yeah shut up i knew that place existed and then we're playing more okay player one oh what is the capital of austria oh there's noise yeah there's like little beep boops i just realized i was wearing my headphones oh i mean apple of the united kingdom is this a trick question no apparently it wasn't you did it oh that's stupid it's [ __ ] oh it doesn't like start it over it yeah just continues middle of where it happens oh it's only capitals dominican republic santo domingo france well i think it has to be muscat san marino's name that one easy i totally oh [ __ ] and i got caught unawares so often during that all right okay folks we're gonna do epilepsy pong if you get seizures now we're gonna play fertility pong i'm very curious i'm gonna get [ __ ] banned from twitch avoid missing balls from high school okay it just sounds like real fertility i used it oh okay oh this is awesome oh this is holy [ __ ] oh my god dude this is crazy hey this is actually sick wow again really we gotta do that again that was so fast all right it escalates it did absolutely [ __ ] me there's no way to get him sometimes [Music] whoa okay all right folks that's actually like kind of a neat idea that was fun it gets out of hand soon if it was like reasonable to do it yeah uh ghost pong okay i hope the ball doesn't go invisible oh or power did it again oh our paddles do nothing this wow we just have to let it run out this is actually there was a flash game that i played and actually this is technically a flash game there was one called futility poem where uh it's like a game of pong and you're like a third paddle that's behind one of the paddles and the other one just always plays perfectly over you so you never get a chance to intercept the ball that's so sad yeah it just plays itself forever well i hope i win oh now's my chance i can win i got it i love that we're still like trying to hit the ball just desperation wait does it go forever because you have to win by two oh oh [ __ ] oh well it's just like a real ghost we were in [ __ ] purgatory it was ghost featuring that one guy directed by that one other guy patrick swayze patrick swayze not directed by patrick swayze i should mention uh now we got inverse pong is he just gonna up us down oh oh god [ __ ] it's so fast we're controlling the gap though that's kind of fun these are like good yeah actually like interesting ideas oh it's so fast i guess it would just never end if it was slow you know how do i keep getting it in my gap your mike tyson whistle oh god arlene from garfield has a gap in her teeth holy [ __ ] what the [ __ ] he's actually playing the game he played the game on my ass let's see if he can make it in line up your shot wait hey finally did it i'm trying to like all right that's enough of this nonsense it's time to start swimming time to start swinging again it's time to play the video game all right you're not getting a [Music] what's that oh it's the sound of you never getting another point this cannot be grapefruit wins by doing absolutely nothing don't shoot the ball so we can shoot don't shoot the ball oh it breaks my paddle [ __ ] die like it breaks my i had to do one i had to figure it out this is weird oh man i keep shooting the ball it's the one instruction i learned oh my it's a battle of winds there's so many things to look at who knew games could ever get this complicated oh go and be so darn cool [Music] oh i shot it by accident my freaking thumbs folks memories of paul oh now we're good i don't know what the [ __ ] that means my guess is here's my guess when we get a point it's going to replay where the ball went um the previous time oh god you're probably right i'm always right we're [ __ ] pong masters pongers oh okay oh [ __ ] me there it is i was right i think yeah or it just shows the last so it's not like a super meat boy yeah that's kind of funny it shows the one where we got startled instantly lost oh god oh i am startled this is gonna be this is like great tiger it would be insane if it just kept stacking them like super meatballs that would be that's the way i want it to be it's it's pretty sophisticated uh programming for a flash game that's true who would win in a fight the charming bears or uh the country bears from the country bear jamboree oh god the country bear jamboree is now a deceased place so uh that's not true disney world open back up that is so [ __ ] up we can all go and die like imagine going to disney world right now and just trying to like play it off oh god you know just like oh we find sid farm pardon the teacups honey [Music] i want to die on space mountain someone says well you can't you have to die on princess tiana's frog nation forget princess tiara's frog nation it's tiana sorry uh pong sands from i don't even understand i don't understand at all oh it's got screen wrap i see oh that's hard all right man's front oh it's so hard the wild sands frontier [ __ ] no are we going when no frontier is frontier oh this is impossible it's impossible oh you're screwed no simply screwed no i tapped it in time oh we're eating our words and our what our beans for breakfast [Music] i love feeding bugs in the hot car [ __ ] no [Music] oh you're [ __ ] on no watch not on my greasy smelly what's that it's the smell on my watch oh oh god oh no yes oh no oh that could have been could have been me i'm going ape i'm going ape oh it just keeps coming back and forth oh no no purlin pong what is caroline again that's like um oh am i controlling it i don't know what's this it's like avoiding my paddle oh bruh purlin is like some math or science thing that i don't remember curling [Music] randomly i think maybe oh horrible horrible kind of felt like it was avoiding my paddle but [Music] oh [Music] [Music] like there's toilet paper on your shoe your son's silence is very reassuring mike you forgot to pick up your kid from daycare again yesterday i did accidentally say your son's silence rather than your stunned silence and i was hoping you were just gonna let it go but no no make a bit out of it no 9 11. it's fine no it's not too soon it's fine [ __ ] jackass no i say one word wrong and you're going right back to 9 11. at this point you kids should be speaking pong for two oh couples palm i don't understand oh it's like tennis holy [ __ ] [Music] oh that's hard oh and if you hit the net you're [ __ ] oh yeah i don't know what that's a reference to shoot what we keep sucking at that i don't like to serve all right all right god this is so weird yeah that was hard yeah these are weird welcome to 11 7 would you like to drink an eat i was hoping you just keep that because i was just would you like to drink a pea all right we're going pog in the middle [Music] oh jesus um is it i don't know whose side it's on i guess it's just on it's just trying to hit it yeah i guess damn that sucks you gotta like outsmart the middle pong i'm in the middle with you i like that even with such basic graphics we think of these things as paddles you know it's true they're very clearly paddles well because we like frame it as tennis i think it's true it's a table tennis yeah little pogba why are you bullying me oh middle pong i i i trusted you oh this sucks you can't you don't have any time to go get it because it's too much too little space mila pong if i win this i'm naming my my son after you no little pong if you make me lose this i'm i'm turning eleven nine eleven nine the opposite eleven plane coming out of the twin towers i don't know the two towers crashes into a plane pong pong oh i don't know oh deposit quarter ball will serve automatically oh what oh [ __ ] so it's like a classic machine with the knobs oh jesus christ it's so small oh god and the buttons are flipped yeah it's like because we're turning we're turning dials for this it's like a sketch it's gonna give me freaking eye cancer this is secret this is in the like original case oh [ __ ] oh i tried to move up on the d-pad that doesn't work i had to move left to go up first time that there's been like other graphics yeah it's weird it's scaring me this is awful this is i don't know i can't see you're winning though oh i am all right now we're gonna do prisoner oh oh damn wait so this is just another like numbers game basically we're like we're like i've got a racquetball right on my desk here i like to throw it into the wall sometimes this is what that is yeah i won the numbers game you just admit that you're in prison definitely quicktime event ah okay yeah oh but oh [ __ ] this doesn't work because we can't get the keyboard we got to do the keyboard deep oh [ __ ] oh did i do it oh it's not this is not fair it's not my my home keyboard yeah oh it's because my freaking like fat fingers are hitting multiple keys okay those green sausages of yours oh don't break those green sausages it me don't predict the letter b x z is it going through an order it's going through an order oh is it it's not no it isn't why is that [ __ ] like a god and then there was a after that seed out of my mind cute man i like everybody's just spamming letters [Music] i am also going to do that i'm going to pick your ass not my own app java juice i would never kick my own ass oh oh schizophon that's in poor taste now that's a distasteful thing calling someone an epileptic that's a these are different things this is going to be all weird i think it's it's probably going to be it moves the paddles what's my guess they're gonna see ghost balls oh yep yeah it moves something's going on it's moving the paddles for us no we're swimming we're swapping sides are we yeah oh god it's it's like it almost randomly determines what side we're on oh no [Music] dang this is oh no you can regain control the last moment game wits oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] no you can regain control you're losing control no nope oh it was me [Music] [Music] oh why did i do that you bastard i know this is oh this is very frustrating then i watched it some no i couldn't i can't move oh this sucks it just goes forever doesn't it oh my win no i think i just batted it back no wow that was the highest uh point count we've got to i think even that other one i bet the people watching at home were like what was happening yeah serious paul seriously i avoid missing refugee for high score oh god wait bro [Applause] [Music] it's we're getting political oh no holy [ __ ] [ __ ] it's taken in an illegal re-entries oh no no all right well folks we're getting political polls very serious very very serious i thought it would be it's like death penalty poem no this is like new graphics as well so it's freaking me out my brain is going crazy are these i i don't know what flags these are i don't know and i feel like i have like a fair flag knowledge yeah i don't know i've played so much [ __ ] pong today i've like we we've played enough pong for like an entire life yeah like i never need to play pong ever again like we're gonna like hey andrew you wanna play game of thrones gonna be like [Applause] i was dramatically looking away for awesome oh no the refugees you're taking so many refugees oh no it's fine i mean ideologically i'm okay with this am i like he isn't like walking over the border either he's getting thrown our bounce he's like please oh please just stay hello let me die mustard republican ketchup republic someone says of course there's a bunch of people that are like oh those those are not real flags like all y'all just have a [ __ ] repository of every flag ever in your mind like no no it doesn't check out i mean like i kind of i actually kind of don't think they're flags i i would be willing to believe that too it's just the confidence they like they kind of they have like weird colors that aren't normally seen orange and green and i feel like if it was like one of the ones where like refugees are pretty common i would recognize it i guess so once this smart spangles manner and one's the union jack i saw you didn't change the union jack you should have said like using shack for whatever you love shack uh so when i was i drove to california last week away with the banjo on my knee uh but anyway when i was driving back i saw a freaking house it was just flying a jolly roger and i was like pirates here in middle of nowhere oregon this has been going on for quite some time now we're like actually like okay yeah we're good at like normal pong and this is essentially just normal poem with a joke like yeah actually wait the scores are flipped this time i just realized oh what all right i was just thinking i was like wait i have more points on my side but it was me okay it was me the whole time well folks buckle down it's time to play [ __ ] paul [ __ ] pong i don't know what this is oh it made a poop oh is it like [ __ ] it's like pooping this is straight up like [ __ ] [ __ ] what is [ __ ] this is a reference to like the most indie game ever shipment yeah i mentioned i played it on stream at one point it's a game where you're a little dot and you go around pooping wow and it creates these little blocks oh my god we're in an infinite loop oh we are it never ends it's what happens when it gets all the way to the center anyway it's just gonna go and that's gonna like uh my guess is it's gonna go like that and it's gonna instantly zoom to one side oh yeah i'm very curious i've never seen so much [ __ ] in one place and but uh [ __ ] bit is like your little block and you fly by pooping and you can infinitely poop but uh it gives you like a minute to prepare and then water splashes in and there's like all these water particles that come in and they destroy the poop and if you get touched by the water then you die you have to build a poop fortress wow that sounds great i hope it's getting faster it's getting faster oh no oh it's just getting stuck alrighty it's slightly on your side that's what we call pinched folks while pinch between a [ __ ] [ __ ] and a [ __ ] place all right well that was truly uh do you want to retry it let's retry sure let's let's give [ __ ] tongue another go oh i got it you gotta give it oh [ __ ] put some english on it yeah okay cause that's how you get stuck i think at a certain point it's just gonna be bouncing on its own [ __ ] yeah it's gonna make like a wall of [ __ ] i remember like years and years and years ago my dad my dad and i were playing checkers and we got to the like there's a scenario in which you can like the checkers game just is forfeit he's like nobody can do anything yeah and i was like no one has ever done this so whoa yeah what the [ __ ] i'm just prepared here oh god oh you have a there's a fortress don't be the one to make the ball vanish oh god that's a big ball this is huge it's like the same as the exploding one but yeah the ball gets smaller yeah it's very similar it's like countdown so tell me about your mom i'm i'm your boston therapist you forgot about me didn't you i used to be are you you should have done a dr cat's professional therapist voice but you don't watch that show oh no it's shrinking oh damn it shrunk oh wait you got the point what i oh but it vanished on your side so i guess it is different from countdown pong it's like whoever touched it last when it vanishes oh interesting very slightly different i'll just do this let's just see it's a numbers game baby didn't it oh [ __ ] you wouldn't dead you wouldn't dare oh god damn it large and i'm roughly the size of a large palm mamma mia what happens if i like pinch it you know i like to wanting to do it between the wall and the paddle i bet it would just squeeze it in you yep eats dead i watched every hamuta i was gonna say did you watch like all the way through like the tenth of bb and a lot of them were like unrelated but they had lore yep there's a wii u uh unaware there is a wiki that we found like the last time that has like 12 episodes of a bb movie but you can learn about it's like family and it has like all sorts of stories interesting lore speculation [ __ ] [Music] when i was doing like research there was one summer rated research collected rather poop and the dude who let us stay in his like farmhouse we were talking to him and he was telling us about cougars and giving us a gun so we could defend ourselves against cougars wow and he goes yeah there's a cougar over here he didn't actually have an accident pretend he didn't yeah there's kicker over here and uh and he made the most accurate cougars in his mouth i've ever heard of my life he was like wow i was like whoa dude it's like those bird calls were like where they like just straight up sound like a duck or like a pigeon or quail and you're like jesus he doesn't want to catch a quail he wants to [ __ ] be a quail i've lost track of time and space he's been playing this one round forever it's taking so long it's taking hours off of my [ __ ] life eleven nine just as the prophecies for it's old this is the problems we're told siamese oh siamese pong as we both control both paddles oh [Music] it's just gonna be a game of why did i do that [Music] no that one is dumb very dumb oh all right snake pong oh snake is it going to be like oh oh is it going to get longer oh it's collecting little things it's really like what larry is getting a little longer and blair he's getting i watched top secret it's a freaking good movie yeah the underwater fight scene very very good oh oh i hit the red thing and just won okay i was gonna say like each little tail thing counts as one point can we do this one more time let's just go back and forth and see if it overloads the [ __ ] system is it is it is getting longer i think it's totally any longer oh just got a pellet oh yeah lads oh you you're getting so many holy [ __ ] wait what the [ __ ] the pellets are giving you points bro moment 15-0 let's get all snake palm swapped palms this is just going to be the other avoid missing paddle oh um that's stupid all right this is the same thing but it's with a paddle very cool it's like it's not actually very pong more difficult because the paddle is easier to hit with a small thing yeah you know yeah i guess technically you're hitting like the same surface area oh jesus it's it's a little nerve-wracking though oh [ __ ] someone said instead of pong it's long that's pretty good actually imagine if our forefathers saw us playing pongs they'd be like what one the other day my uncle texted me and he was like oh yeah one of my friends is like interested and wants to see your like channel he was like can i get a link to it i was like sure but don't watch any of my videos i don't want to like tarnish your opinion of me he's like you really think that would happen and then the next morning [Music] okay okay we're on the same team oh we are we both get points hey everybody wins so what's gonna happen at the end why does one of us loses i don't know oh oh we have to work together they turned pong into a co-op game wow so we could just cheese it if we got it going straight that's what i'm trying it yeah oh wait no it's not going quite is it i think it's going up well you know let's do this [ __ ] cooperation this is communism someone says we're both winners everybody wins we're all winners here okay tetris pong we're near the end that's good oh this is uh you're getting scared yes impenetrable gaining in power hey my wall it's me captain eo my wallet is more mighty than even the strongest of fun times i have kind of a little fortress going here your wall is bigger than mine in every regard let's see i stood one block taller oh wait we are good at this yeah what happens when it like when it all goes i get i guess this game is not against soft locking yeah it does not care oh comedy game comedy game last last laughs comedy game [Laughter] comedy game comedy game i don't even have to do anything this sucks i hate tetris pong we played it uh okay track and pong track rapidly alternate left and right to move oh it's like track and field for the atari i think what for real this sucks this doesn't work on xbox d-pads very well i guess it's like go away yeah it just automatically goes to where the ball is i'm doing it [ __ ] this sucks oh this one sucks because we should be doing this on a keyboard but it's we're doing it on xbax controllers [Music] here we go you could definitely hook that up you could like switch up the dk bongo controller to this if only we had a dk bongo controller i think we're soft locked oh we did we just hit it because it's in the dead center and we can't move at all you're right you moved a little wait yeah you moved a tiny tiny bit maybe the ball is oh you moved again i moved again to do it right as the ball is coming yeah you can do it come on oh you tried that that looks like it oh my god see i can move a little too now oh look at that this is we're getting out we're getting out of soft lock picking we're getting out come on yes oh my god we're out of the lure free i had to take one for the team why'd you go up why'd you go up there the curse of the palm you piece of [ __ ] oh you'll never win this sucks i'm getting carpal tunnel syndrome oh my like fingers are like you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] i got carpal tunnel on my fingers the restless like you hit it oh oh no oh oh no 710 split so close this is like physically exhausting it is oh i forgot that i'm not doing stupid okay oh i got achievements highs and lows i've been getting achievements and made a mistake oh no oh i got highs and lows straight man i get it got a straight man here son this is like that neopets game where you're trying to do a simple task but you keep getting pop-up ads on your screen and you need to like click out of them that's oh my god neopets games yeah did you do a flash game friday where it was doing god no spin doctor applied spin to the ball three times in one point three for three i'm so good at this what the hell [ __ ] makes it the hardest though it makes it more difficult for me yeah i don't want that i don't want achievements [Music] oh miserable no oh god oh do we really want to do oh no we absolutely don't this is just awful that i hit it this is a biting indictment of rpgs this is exactly what an rpg is like oh a big iron news well that was you i think we shouldn't do this this version takes too long let's uh just do one more go one more turn i i don't we did so many turns already i don't i don't see what the problem is man you can just do one more right how do i what blender oh you hit the wrong button all right you won't be laughing for long because now we're going to play unfair pawn all right oh [ __ ] looks like you're the one who's not laughing no i was rewarded oh i'm being a band so far oh my god no oh you get five points oh you piece of [ __ ] oh now this is fair game i'm making it work with the pixel but i still can't win there's no way there's no way you know what i feel bad you do take a point you don't take a point you don't take a piss now that was a refreshing and fair game of thumb you know what no wait wait no yeah all right all right folks damn it i almost said vietnamese viennese i don't know what this is vanessa are you currently in vienna yes or no you have to tell the truth no then you cannot play viennese pub what if we lie will we get arrested waiting here we'll just get on the plane okay [Music] it's one of those new singing planes hello welcome to vienna i'm your captain we are on vienna now oh thank you thank you all right just real quick we're staying on the plane we're just gonna play this pongs yeah here we are oh all right all right let's go oh this is sick it's wow this is so fun this is i feel exactly like i'm in vienna because i'm in vienna i can't believe we're finally in vienna i'm glad that we aren't doing anything here though and that we're going immediately back to america we're all the planes already starting up i hear the engines [Applause] and you suck at viennese poems it's so much harder the fact that it's in a completely different like spatial like location yes really kind of throws you off it's the jet lag it's the jet lag that's how they get you that's the challenge like i really i feel like i'm in vienna because i am of course we would never lie to you we would never cheat at viennese pong and play it when we're not in vienna that would be ridiculous and immoral it would i would never i truly would never and may i get struck by lightning if i'm telling a lie you know what they love in vienna what sausage sausage those shitty little like water sausages in a can when you open it and you're like like you actually thought of a food item with vienna in front of it for me i was gonna say belgian waffles do you think they're making a a sequel to ratatouille read a three it's called [Music] damn it could be rad of three though all right this is the last one trace pawn all right we're going to just disappear without a trace at the end of this oh oh ew it's like what we wanted poop pong to be yeah oh god i kind of like this me too it's like art we're making art this is kind of showing how little variation there is in like the angles that you can hit the ball at actually yeah this is cool i like shapes we should invent a shake this is it this is the shape that we invented it congratulations uh it's called the dodecahedron i was going to say like the quapahedron for some reason we both went similar directions [ __ ] 996. the magic number 76 final words give me my attendees i think the final word is i never want to play pong again for the rest of my [ __ ] life i had like a burp come up there and i was like long what oh i shot [Music] that was pongs that took like an hour and a half shit's [ __ ] crazy but we're not done yet we got another game in the wings waiting it's called dong dong never die have you heard of this game dong dong never die we're gonna play dom dong never die it's in the same engine as arm joe this is the official like loading sword morley gong [Music] so it's like amv this guy's the [ __ ] terminator it's that amv what is it called fmv they they just like captured a bunch of pictures of these like random people in costumes and made like a street fighter style fighting game out of it whoa my god yeah wow if you think that i'm not a midi playing the shirtless dude with the chain [Laughter] versus mode let's go and it also randomly crashes at the title or the character select screen they're all from like a specific region of china and there's also literally [ __ ] mario yo in the game i did not click on him but i'm really curious to find out what he looks like so i'm selecting him uh oh yeah they put [ __ ] mario in oh my god oh god he looks terrible oh wait you're mario wait am i oh i am somehow i'm the guy you selected and you're the guy i selected i'm mario okay well let's go oh [ __ ] tatsumaki let's also notice the giant horse in the background what is with that horse oh [ __ ] oh oh oh oh dongdong that's powerful can i do that again forever please [Music] what is this music this is not fighting game music [Music] so why mario it's so weird because he's from china [Applause] wow no more mario noises stop stop oh mushrooms oh you get it all right that's right ah i'm getting destroyed oh yum at all i think you can roll with like it's like start to roll it's like the [ __ ] start button is rolled weirdly enough oh look at that yeah hitting him with the twinkle toes folks folks folks he's out of here he's out here he had this i had it he's out of [Music] oh did i do that i think one of us just paused somehow i i didn't hit anything uh-oh we're pressing all the buttons oh no it was like okay i hit escape on the keyboard it worked nice okay something weird happened i think i did like a combo that made it pause i wanted to be mario man man mario's so good i'm so glad i'm mario and you're just a default guy yeah i think it might be himself oh oh time ran out oh so i am player one yeah okay i guess i played it too okay oh and it crashed crash all right you prepared by pinning it to your task bar yep incredible planning here actually can i just say the single player mode i actually want to show you because it it has a cut scene and the cutscene is really [ __ ] weird it's got like dialogue from terminator all right three billion human lives ended on august 29th why is it terminator 2 send two terminators back through time it's like is this is the stuff that's written in japanese the dialogue from terminator 2. i don't get it it's literally just pictures of terminators in there too it's showing like 2011 2012 yeah 2013. only he can save the world i don't know what the [ __ ] this like backdrop is just a question it's literally just like is it is it like okay people are saying it's chinese like oh yeah of course is it like they they needed english dialogue so they just took random stuff all right and that's it and then we fight all right all right and then that's it i'm not gonna actually play single player wow now we know the truth about the lore behind dong dog you can play the terminator oh you crashed it sad okay i'm gonna choose my guy's past all right uh oh [ __ ] maybe it's just if you choose that guy i hadn't actually selected him ever oh i won't go even past him okay all right oh maybe it's just the right hand okay i won't even go over there yeah it wasn't crashing this much when i was fussing around with it earlier really [ __ ] weird am i this guy oh yeah i am oh this guy i wanted to play oh [ __ ] but i selected him this is so weird i chose that guy and now you're playing him and you get and i get this random schlub come on he's got he's huge he's a massive guy it's like who are these people are these just random people who they were like you won't be in a game and they're like [ __ ] hell yeah i gotta wrap a chain around me each try and get your dick within kicking range i [ __ ] dare you i [ __ ] dare you no [Music] looks like i'm later who are these people this whole game i've seen characters from this game show up in salty bet before which have you ever oh so me and my friends you see you drunk salty vet all the time yeah the nurses in this game there's like twin nurses that i've seen in salty bed like a million times this sucks destroyings [Music] go [Music] the gut punched his hands in his pockets put a piece of [ __ ] telling me they got it they gotta go with chains and then they're gone such a tiny hammer doesn't really work yeah oh god no no no no no no no oh what is this what is this no no no no no no no no no no no no all part of the plan kick kick kick kick kick well the video this video is going to be called pong pong never die that's the whole stream that's like the whole conceit of the stream is that the video will be called pong pong never die incredible i don't know what's up with the random pausing i swear it's when i click stuff and it pauses but it's it's no consistent button very weird okay maybe i forget what it is okay so i think i actually think i can unpause now i'm gonna try yeah okay wow it's when you put the sticks in oh [Music] so don't select until we both over okay so now i'm p2 this is no i'm 2p we're both controlling the 2p thing oh this is so [ __ ] oh but my okay my d-pad is selecting one player okay but my joystick is two-player okay so enough okay perfect perfect i'll be the guy with the book okay select this now we're talking i don't know what the [ __ ] is happening oh this is scary oh and i'm the chef and you're the book what i'm the book guy it doesn't make sense okay well folks oh you're scooting oh my god that is infinite very very powerful what is my god that's the question i have is what is with this [ __ ] face it's like the weird face mask though what is in his hand i don't know can't do any hadoukens [Music] [Applause] different sizes it's kind of weird like your guy is like significantly smaller like it just didn't scale yeah it is like they like used free transform in photoshop on him guarding with the spray can oh i didn't backwards oh [ __ ] f tilt you out what a wonderful book that's a cool kick like prop yourself up on your hand on the ground i don't know if that's something that is possible in the real world in the real world i'm fighting we're fighting here oh i'm al pacino oh [ __ ] no what no baby i got destroyed at the last second he's like let me finish my book he's waving his ass he's twerking can i just say i like never play fighting games so i have no idea what the [ __ ] i'm doing yeah yeah i just fighting don't really know what the [ __ ] oh yeah we keep running out of time oh look at that dance whoa he's bending he looks like an arms character when he does that what's he i don't know what i don't know but the game froze i wanted to play him [Music] no put me as the clown on the far right [Music] [ __ ] i think like mousing over that guy just [ __ ] it just a normal and not buggy game yeah this engine seems to suck maybe it's just like in america it doesn't work or something oh in case the clown is off limits no going towards the clown he's on the front of the poster there's a cool poster for this game i'm gonna be the wacky beach dude i'm gonna be that guy but watch us be reverse yeah we're reversed you know [ __ ] normal this is so stupid i'm so glad i'm the wacky no i'm this dumby your gumby with the knife in the big skull don't be thick oh that's blood right there it seems like my moves don't work half the time look at that waddle get over time for a real move it's time for a real move it's time for it it seems like there's i don't have some moves oh [ __ ] oh you locked it like some moves i just don't have like some things just don't do damp don't do anything like sometimes when i press a button just nothing happens with this guy that is a powerful thing that is insanely powerful look at like the size scale difference between them it looks like punch out where the enemies are like a thousand times bigger it's like in the air certain buttons don't even like have an attack like that one i don't have like stuff in the air it seems and on the ground either some of my stuff what um you see shadow clone jutsu what the [ __ ] it's even worse because i didn't want to play this shitty lame guy i want to play the [ __ ] pool dude that's got like all those moves intact but instead of the guy who has like a half a move set oh i lost oh yeah oh he's dancing on me oh yeah i got that [ __ ] horse background too i can't even do moves when i'm freaking crouching it's just the same move this guy sucks he's got no moves in the air and these crouch moves are the same move he's got like two moves i hate this guy oh looky there oh he put the rim on sorry back to complaining hour oh [ __ ] [ __ ] shite mate but it's not going well oh my god do you [ __ ] dance uh i don't even see the other thing i was gonna hit start then what the wait you're gonna be the knife guy again but i do i can't do anything otherwise i can't do anything [Music] i don't know oh no all right well now you're lolita i don't know hold on let's reset oh no wait you're that guy because am i or two i think because i i had no choice in selecting that okay man i didn't hit start or anything i also can't select people this game just has a [ __ ] mind of its own just chooses what the [ __ ] was that okay well now i have moves like i was like for your guy too she's like just a guy yeah so many of these characters are just a guy just a dude i have not got to choose any [ __ ] characters this game because choosing characters literally doesn't [ __ ] work impossible oh my god yeah no not like this [ __ ] what is that are you did it doesn't do damage but the time is running out this is it folks this is the cheese strand i'm not sure what this animation is meant to convey except that i'm a wedding are you wobbling me right now i'm wobbling i i hope this actually works yeah you eat that [ __ ] no it works yeah something oh damn and she turned dark sad all right okay who do you want to be uh i don't know let's do it this guy yeah okay put me as that guy with the wrench oh yeah now we're talking all right i'm hitting start okay there we go oh god oh he's also a soccer player he's a wrench sportsman the wrench is now gone yeah i don't know what was up with the wrench right i have 3d mint oh yeah the wrench came out well i don't know what's up with this guy and mario but they seem to be outliers in the roster [Music] have you ever played 3d fighting balls no that is a great game i like the psychogenesis and [ __ ] you couldn't i definitely played like a game that's like like made of clay like a claiming fighting game fighter there's like clay fighter 63 and a half or something like that that game's like busted as [ __ ] hey hey stop it with the ball what is with this [ __ ] horse stage have we seen any other stages nope it's it's like joe where it's like the multiplayer ones yeah it's the same yeah i think there might be a way to select it but i don't know i love that animation yeah he just doesn't move yeah that's incredible it reminds me of top secret with the dance scene where the dudes are swinging the ladies around and eventually the ladies are just like rag dolls and they're just like hurtling them around their heads at like full force oh my god sucker multiple consecutive crotch kicks in a row i guess that's what consecutive means huh it is freaking slash he had a wrench and one of his moves what oh i kicked you out of the way damn that was sad do it again it looks different do it okay all right wow folks i did it there he goes i'm not sure what i did but i did it oh it was incredible whatever you did no yeah where is oh it was on the off swing too you're gonna be these two nerds oh hell yeah hell yeah you be snake and i'll be snake with the gum i want to be the two nurses they're like salty but famous these characters interesting [Music] we like talk in unison too of course [Music] these are always one of my favorites to see in salty bed i love you pointing your gun but then not actually shooting anything because we don't know the controls to the game oh [ __ ] oh controls am i right ladies and germs [Music] oh oh my god what okay oh [ __ ] no no no no no no no no keeps going what's going on the screen was different for so long damn i did a bunch of cool moves and i don't know how i did it but i did a bunch no no no my ass you got your ass my asses i don't know how i did that thing earlier [Music] they came out yeah it turns out two heads are better than one all right this time you're playing i'm setting you as the hot cowgirl you're playing this guy that guy all right guys i'm gonna be freaking that guy let's go oh oh [ __ ] a horse in a different art style now that's a horse of a different color wanderers all right folks folks folks i'm in my ghee who can forget the cowboy girl who can just punch [Music] just kind of land on my head [Music] oh jesus was that not like kind of a crusty jpeg that was definitely incredible it was like it was some about it was like in weird lighting or something now this oh god he's showing a bit of leg oh i look like a character from house suit yes i think i just like dry-humped you whoa you're a grappler grab a little feet animation i love the way they like move there's a whole like sub genre of fighting games that's like uh fmv yeah and i guess mortal kombat is kind of you know one [Music] [Applause] oh my [Music] holy [ __ ] [Music] calculations no [Music] it's all like punch out here yeah yeah get him get him get him get him shin kicking finals oh god world championship my legs are no that's it you're getting arrows you're [Music] [Applause] still come pause it on my ass that's a stock in competitive smash bros [ __ ] you're right [Music] yeah yeah [Music] i know words [Applause] oh no i gotta hit him with the fun facts single fun fact you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] single fact what is this no it's more [ __ ] all right at least one of them hit him oh did that heal me though [Music] yeah your health has had to fall awesome well i guess that's a move jesus christ oh no she's got fire oh this guy's moonwalking oh he's michael jackson oh [ __ ] [Music] this is a horse game it's a horse fighting game oh god oh instantly with that [ __ ] oh my god oh my god oh my god that was amazing the way you like kneeled down so you're singing oh cigarette lights um coming and they don't stop coming yo look at the explosion just like put your face in the ground it's close do not like that [ __ ] my move spin spin spins [Music] [Applause] [Music] the old backless armless hoodie spin the wind back won't let you spin to win there's nothing you can do i only spend a win oh he's trying to pause oh god she like showed us a bit of skin oh get him get him you it's like were these people like nerds or were they just like actors who got hired for the stupid game i bet they're just actually that's a great question i bet i don't know some of them they seem so real yeah i bet it was just like the dude's friends yeah possibly okay put me as mario again yeah everybody wants to see mario so so be it all right let's do it oh you're you're just checking your mario and you got the bite to the dust you look so bad [Applause] oh you're doing a lot of damages tomorrow i figured out how to play a game oh the umbrella mario well you're talking about al pacino [Applause] oh holy [ __ ] i don't know what i was expecting but it certainly wasn't optimus prime damn bro all the people that would have optimus prime up their sleeve of course it's her we're officially weeaboos after playing the both this and arm joe it's all transfer [ __ ] look his little like promo jpeg showed up good gun no no no i'm stuck in that animation you think i missed every attack [Music] oh no and now you're gonna get the horse is taxidermied hey we got left i'm gonna go into the danger zone all right i'm selecting hold on let's let's look at the poster for this game because there's an amazing poster whoa it's a [ __ ] masterpiece that's insane and the clown guy seems like the main guy run center and it's got [ __ ] mario standing there just a beautiful [ __ ] poster incredible all right is this it all right well we got him we got him i'm the toxic guy though yeah you're the nerd all right let's go yes yeah i'm wearing like a bucket hat these costumes are so like assembled at a thrift store you know whatever was available oh god i'm doing so much damage with these little cats oh my god oh [ __ ] brutal destroyed is it like a baton what the [ __ ] even what this crap is crunch he's taking out a [ __ ] dasani he's sipping through his mask he's littering too wow horrible oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] you're playing the flute that's such an amazing looking move i think the nerd might be one of my favorite characters yeah definitely aesthetically the best also you can't be flying off the screen oh [ __ ] you're gonna heal [Music] just like the weird like low frame rate animations too oh i what was that i don't know should i have a tactic i don't know all right gun let's go this guy's [ __ ] insane [Applause] he's always grabbing his dong too damn who is that guy god i do so much damage this guy's busted yeah he actually is so strong not my wiener my god she's in [ __ ] like bug rigger mortis peter griffin after falling down the stairs oh god [Music] snake he's using snake technique yo yeah [ __ ] oh my god you freaking please no just me oh [ __ ] this oh my god this is cinderella terrifying looking oh my god that was a giant cigarette of some variety that was really weird i don't know who did that your arm went and came out of the air or a giant cigarette maybe oh [ __ ] that was in the like opening credits [Music] dude oh [Music] oh he has to light his own cigarettes [Applause] he's got puffs you leave me no choice let's do my giant kick oh no you didn't pull yeah oh man i flew against the wall get him no of course i will select the clown he's not even a clown he just has like red hair he's just like a fire hair dude he's like the one he's the impossible dream i think it's truly like well and truly broken just wait for the right moment dang it maybe that one is just truly impossible yeah i think we'll never be able to play the clown you want to do a mario ditto mario ditto yeah where is his other foot when he crouches his other foot just vanishes just goes underground oh yeah what the hell like maybe that's like his knee and it's like behind you but you would still be able to see it which one is you which one is me [Music] mid-air death [Music] i'm just kneeing each other back and forth oh no money money money money money [Music] like this i like this [Applause] they ring a bell like the name metal king boo where they're like oh they just win oh no is that where he goes video game character is just screaming and he just takes their sound files and stretches them out and like pitch shifts them to these like horrible things and it's just such such like dumb humor but when you're listening to it you're just like this is so stupid then you're like you know get help yeah yeah yeah that's one of the best [Music] here we go get them out ones here mushrooms are supposed to help mario i'm gonna kill you look at your ass you stole a busy lifting drink sir marion [Music] [Applause] that's it's official you can use the mario skinner [Music] and

Channel: grayfruit

Views: 398,465

Rating: 4.9596372 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: VXlnJIVusEY

Length: 84min 6sec (5046 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 30 2020