H3 Podcast #60 - Bobby Lee

welcome everybody to the h3 podcast live thank you to our sponsors today stitch fix min Squarespace and Bolin branch today we have Bobbie Lee the hilarious and infamous pants [ __ ] Bobbie Lee the comedian and community and comedian and shooter he was on MADtv he has a podcast that he slams and he's just saw all around funny cool dude but today before we get into that he's gonna be joining us later I was feeling like it's time to try a new format on the podcast here because we've had like a ton of interviews in a row and while I and I love interviewing and spending time with guests I feel like kind of the heart and soul of the podcast should be me complaining and hila listening and I thought there hasn't been enough of me complaining Andy listening losing it and so I'm losing it and so what we were thinking is that the first 30 minutes to 45 minutes should be me Neela talking about what's going on talking about what's bothering me what's not going on and what's going in all right or out at the same time you know there's lots of twists and turns there's no coffee there's no water on the table now I'm a straight up diva okay I'm a pate I'm a diva but I'm also a patient in forgiving man okay and I can only I can only tolerate so many what did I do to reserve to deserve this disrespect there's no glass of water on the table we've got I would like a glass of water though we need 30 minutes for no respect got like a full staff of people back here we get a glass of water what are you looking at shredder anyway what was I saying I don't hear water pouring it's on its way so we thought it would be we should we should have our own thing you know it's a we should take the time to talk and see what's going on because there's all kinds of stuff I want to talk about so let's just get let's just get right thank you Dan oh that's not Dan that's in you guys beards are a melding into one identity so first of all so yeah Bobbie Lee will be here in about 30 minutes looking forward to that our okay so we had a live show last month at the improv with post Malone and it was it was a ton of fun it was so much fun it was exhilarating so incredible yeah like so there was 200 seats there and the thing about the improv is like there's no real green room or backstage so you have to walk through the crowd to get there and when we walked through everyone was just like so freaking supportive and high-energy it was incredible you walk out it's like embarrassing in a way right you know what I mean yeah cuz it's like everyone's like so how you want to you and it's like me so our first show was a total blast our next live show is this month on the 26th at the Ace theater downtown LA the tickets are on sale you can spam it can you guys spam it and we'll also put it in the description of YouTube but this one's a 1,700 seater at the ACE theater I am terrified I'm terrified 1,700 seats and I thought I could barely talk more than like normally I can barely talk right more than normal I think you're being hard on yourself no but I did find it interesting that so Austin was like he was telling us that he was super nervous and he's played shows way bigger than that but I guess it's it's different cuz he just goes many things and he does something that's really comfortable and used to doing but going up in front of an audience like talking and [ __ ] as a whole it's a whole different I guess skills yeah so he said he was super nervous up there which I thought was cute we were all so nervous raw I was purified before I have to even talk about this no I don't think we did see that's the problem with this show what's the point of the podcast if I can't even talk about like that whole experience so I was so I was just [ __ ] myself backstage as we were waiting and then Austin came like two minutes before we were it was late and we're waiting in the stairwell and of course he's always on time it's the coolest guy he comes cruising up the stairs and we barely have enough time to snap a photo but I'm just like I don't know how to describe that feeling it's just yeah it's it's excitement and nervousness and all kinds of nuts there's like no words exactly yeah I don't know so I'm wondering but the thing about The Improv is that it's so intimate there that you can like see everybody's face like the first row we're pretty much like they're sitting right but I think at the ACE you're not going to necessarily see everybody in there so in a weird way I expect it to be less stressful in that you don't feel like you're entertaining like people are like staring at you waiting for to be entertained in a way you know yeah you're like when is the joke coming exactly you're just staring almost until like a black void because the lights are so bright you can't really see anything so that's really exciting I'm super pumped and what the plan is that we want to do it every month and I think what we want to do is that at the 8th every month like a residency so we'll do it at the our last show of every month at the ACE and we'll put our tickets on sale for the whole year probably next month after we see how this one goes if I don't tank if I don't bomb completely what's the worst-case scenario like what would be the worst bomb what if I just walked out and broke my leg that's what they say brick you're like what I just tripped and broke my leg that won't be that bad code it's not your fault it's almost like thank you goodnight no refund that actually happened I saw a conference at Blizzcon they had this is the funny [ __ ] in can you try to find that or someone back there at Blizzcon they have a costume competition and everyone comes out in their costumes and someone literally came out and broke their leg it had to be carried off the stage and I know it sounds tragic but it was hilarious can you find it in meanwhile I wanted to talk about our last video Ethan's closet because coroner Ethan says yeah that's how much I care about it it had everyone so polarized it was it was a shitty video I mean I knew that it was just a goof right it's funny we actually had people unsubscribing like a lot from that video it doesn't really bother me I just find it funny that like years of posting content and then all of a sudden they're like nope maybe they had it maybe that was it you know what Ethan I've had enough with your videos because the was this is it goodbye forever you couldn't find forever here's the video by the way this is important this is more important than whatever I'm talking about oh yeah this is definitely it good it to get you guys are not this is this is this is what's gonna happen to me I can't wait he like immediately just Oh [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] get it Daniel you shouldn't laugh but I yeah he pretty much he sprained his ankle or really he's [ __ ] up he won't even attempt to stand up he's just like you know what I'm done someone carry my heads up and that's what happens it's a huge security guy scary though bro you you have one good leg just stand up and hop off God Christ she's also super nervous it's the most but you yeah okay but I mean you've got adrenaline just cop hobble off crawl off stage if you have to just get on just crawl out you're in the trenches man those shells fall out [Laughter] look at this all these guys come on carriers as out look at this they grabbed him by the this is too good have you ever seen this batter sight in your life he's grabbing his broken ankle [Applause] [Laughter] there's this moment here of like a face that you'll never forget that moment here it is Oh makeup doesn't help so that's the worst case scenario very much I can relate last night I fell oh yeah in our stairs yeah we moved into a new house Hertz it's got pretty steep stairs it was when I was just standing there and he was coming down the stairs language shredder it's dangerous and Healy just ate [ __ ] like she just skipped the last stair here and it looked weird cuz it looked almost like she meant to do it but nothing hit hard she tumbled she timbered right there remember anyway so I can't really who can relate okay you can so anyway the last video was a real ship post and a lot of people were upset some people liked it some people didn't which is fine I I tried to tell you guys I was gonna post shitty videos did I not say that and everyone remember when we were like oh I've been depressed oh I've been depressed it took a little while from that moment yeah I should have followed it up with this but you know I just felt like posting a video I didn't care about what it was it wasn't you know but anyway this mean was really funny on the sub right I love this this family man the new HTC reach video was [ __ ] it's the return of classic h3 it's forced and full of half-baked jokes and builds up to absolutely nothing he is alerting people on the Facebook privacy scam was maintaining a good balance between information and shed posting all he did was say Facebook and AIDS 50 times can it be both I feel like it can be both I feel like the truth is somewhere in the middle I don't know what is this from its it's from pawn or these are the it's called a West Coast Choppers are the West Coast boys I love that just he's throwing it like a really capture yeah the feeling of those coins right like exactly exactly anyway guys we just posted a new video that I'm I'm happy with it I like it we're trying to get back into the swing of it you know that's two videos the longer you don't post it gets harder to get back to it right so we're just trying to break that that's what it was and there's like a wall seal yeah and that's what that video Ethan's corner was cuz you just okay you make a video it's not as good as you want maybe it's you don't think it's good at all but at a certain point you just got to post it and move on you just because then what you don't post it and then you get even more depressed and then you try to make another video game order I am at the point where I just want to post it and move on because I feel like I need to be creative I need to be just moving forward all the time because lately I've been so depressed and so stuck and so just like stuck in the same thoughts in the same head in the same space and I just I feel like I need to slam through that yeah blast through all that and like not working slash posting videos they go together not doing that gets more depressing you'd you lose like your purpose what are we doing here alright what and we've been putting too much well stuff that we've been putting too much emphasis on the podcast it's just that it's become the only thing yeah and and and maybe I was almost just overcome compensating for the fact we're making I don't know but we need to find a balance because I was thinking back like to a year-plus ago when we were posting like two or three videos a week and for me that was it really it was really cool it was a good time for me because I was always creating something new I was being creative and I was just expressing myself more authentically than always trying to I don't know whatever I've been dude I've been I've got I I'm gonna be real I have a bottle of antidepressants and next to my bed and I take it out and I stare at it and I think last night I was like having a breakdown this [ __ ] like there's this Amazon [ __ ] like we had these guys install tea and there's such buffoons these guys are such meatheads they install it so close to the [ __ ] wall you can't plug anything in now and now it's installed on a mount so I've got this Amazon stick so I want to watch YouTube or whatever and I'm trying to plug it in and I can feel the socket every I have to rip the TV off the wall and jam my hand up back there and I was like almost bleeding my hand and I I could feel the socket and it was just about to go and but it wouldn't go in okay and I was at this for like an hour I was like OCD obsessed I was losing my mind I felt like I was aware of how insane I was acting but I couldn't stop it was so [ __ ] close to get in the hole and all the time I know that I'm such a lunatic but I can't stop trying to get and I was like dude this I'm so [ __ ] twisted evil is coming in because I'm screaming like a lunatic and she's like she's like what's wrong with you I'm like I don't know she's like that's not normal is like I know dude but I gotta get the damn stick in the hole you know it's like this little thing which I became obsessed with it was just manic so I just stopped eventually and but I've been like she's been I just felt like I'm being crazy lately I got this bottle of antidepressants next to my bed I'm like like it's I think it's time but then I realized I never actually put in the work and taking antidepressants is like it's either the easy way out or you already tried everything and so you should take it because there's no reason to suffer but I'm like this is the easy escape because I there's a direct correlation between me being fat and lazy and not taking care of myself and me being depressed and like I'm I'm on an upward trajectory right now and I'm like I can't take these if I'm not exercising if I'm not eating right I'm not treating myself well it's all connected yeah there's a direct correlation between all that [ __ ] so I don't know I've been I've been that was a couple days ago I've been exercising I've been trying to eat better cuz I'm not you know you got to put in the work yourself to fix yourself before you take well that would be just a shortcut some people need antidepressants but I don't know if I do because I haven't actually tried to help myself yet enough to warrant it so I'm just like I got to do something so I'm trying I'm trying this is all part of the same thing I'm trying to trying to exercise I'm trying to treat myself better trying to just post videos be more creative in that way man though dude I'm gonna get that [ __ ] stick in that hole I swear to God that stick is going in that hole can we take off the TV I tried dude I was like I was pulling the string I was like it's a big TV too and I was always yeah we can take it off there's a easy way to do it but it just seemed it was like it was so sick it felt like a biblical like metaphor because it was within reach and it was totally doable you just slide your hand up and it's just a little awkward and it's like you know what I mean it's like get in the hole I was literally yelling and I'm just like it's doable that was the hardest part but I just couldn't get it in I know there's meaning somewhere in there I don't know where it is I know it's a yeah yeah well join the club what else some will lunatic went to YouTube and try to kill everybody there you know when that news broke that there was a shooting at YouTube here's this [ __ ] want to show you guys this but let me talk about this a little bit when I heard there was a shooting active shooter there the first thought I had was like please God don't let this be some disgruntled loser youtuber I was like please the world is not that we haven't gone that low have we and then at first they said it was a girlfriend who shot her boyfriend or whatever and I was like great I was like okay thank God well weird that it happened at YouTube yeah but then it was no is just even started that rumor I have no idea is that strange yeah well and besides that I have I know people who work there but I have one really close friend some of them actually care about who works there and I was like I was so worried because there was no anything yeah and you didn't know how bad it was and I texted him and he didn't he didn't answer me right away so I was like I was concerned and not only that but you care on the level that you know it's a traumatic event for them hmm and you know that things aren't gonna be the same now at YouTube and Twitter and Facebook and all these people do like you know it's almost like it's not the same anymore because now the seals been broken and all of a sudden someone who's angry at how you treated I was gonna come try to murder you but anyway this lunatic she was just thought that YouTube was suppressing her views but honestly her videos just suck and they're weird which is the case in most of the time I have to say if your fellow youtuber listening this and you think that there's a giant conspiracy to to reduce your views that could be right to an extent but for the most part if you're not getting abused it's probably because your videos suck and your fans are tired of your [ __ ] that's way more likely that's probably 75% of it at least and in her case it's like yeah there's no conspiracy your shits weird I heard sometimes that happens it doesn't even matter right that's not even sure even if they did I guess I'm just addressing her point that it's like people are entitled to be like well anyway it doesn't matter you're right but my friend who works there was saying like that that uh she was she had a handgun and luckily shouldn't have something more dangerous or more deadly with more rounds but he said there was like a busy lunch area where everyone was eating and she came up and just started shooting people randomly but she was firing into a glass door lunch so he was saying if she actually was was trying to trying to hit more people there could have been a lot it could have been a lot worse I don't know what's going on the weird thing too is the police saw her found her in her car up near YouTube studios because her dad called the police and was like my daughter or maybe her brother family member my daughter or family member is super angry at YouTube and she's dangerous really yeah he said they said I think she's gonna do something and so the police found her sleeping in her car and they let her go what because well the police said she was fine she wasn't she didn't seem dangerous but I don't know it's like it's the same [ __ ] that happened with this recent school shooting it's like every every sign was like this kid is dangerous he's deranged let's keep an eye on him you know I'm glad that that it wasn't worse don't say that another thing that really was insane about this whole thing was all the comments everywhere yeah everyone she said what happened yeah like Oh YouTube deserved it that was obvious I knew it was coming and I was just like but I saw so many and then upwards do ya cuz everybody's got to be edgy little everyone's so edgy and no one can take anything seriously it's like the ultimate mean you know mm-hmm shooting at YouTube me oh my god so much mean potential I'm gonna make a joke that I'm not supposed to do whatever these edgy kids will grow up someday um other stuff there's a lot of other stuff but Bobby just arrived so I actually have a lot of more stuff to talk about but we can talk about it next time yeah and then just get in with Bobby so let's do that let's do that for pizzas sake shall we it's two for two when do we start how long we've been going to 15 so well I went by fast okay great there's a couple of the lawsuit our lawsuit and talk about this don't we'll bring Bob in our lawsuit with Matt Haas got published so it's now officially case law it was like a big deal its publishing a bunch of law journals and there was like 38 different legal precedents with death yeah with defamation and copy wrong so it's like law students are gonna be studying that [ __ ] now I thought I learned so much about law yeah what a what a crazy thing man and yeah there was something funny about it like the lawyer who actually did all the work I was asking him he's not getting any credit because he was credited as an associate he's like weird how the whole thing works oh there's like a head lawyer but yeah yeah so so there's a head lawyer that we actually didn't like at all and we're like please don't please don't involve him I remember what happened but something weird happened and then the associate guy who's like a little tiny foot mark did everything he was working full-time on this [ __ ] writing all these amazing documents he is incredible lawyer and he's not getting like any credit so there you go life's a [ __ ] yeah and this one guy who did literally nothing isn't like getting all the credit the one guy who were like I don't even want to talk to this guy cuz I don't trust him oh I know you know what this guy did the guy who's in charge used to do all this [ __ ] like we were spending so much money and we're not Microsoft right he knows we're just a couple of kids he'll do this [ __ ] like when I'm being deposed okay so the lawyer who did all the work is they're giving me counsel in the deposition this other guy without asking my permission or consulting is listening on the phone the whole time and never says anything okay and heat so so that's eight hours and he charges $650 an hour and he charges us for all eight hours so that ends up being like 1020 thousand dollars and I'm like bro like what the hell just don't listen ROM was fine and he does all these little [ __ ] like rack up the bill and doesn't do anything so anyway congratulations to our attorneys god bless ela said is it okay to talk about this I don't know it's not details of the case so I think probably okay it's not like um it's not like sealed you sure you want to mess with lawyers all right now you scare the [ __ ] okay and then you gotta like type it is we have a little private discord he feels like you sure you want to talk about this and now you make me anxious and now you're calling me out it well I can't not acknowledge that because now I'm anxious on camera cuz I'm just gonna look at it and be like like this it's too late or you talked about it it's gonna be like this I'm just gonna do one of these and it's like well no it's fine all right so that's it so let's bring Bobby Lee in we're gonna take a quick commercial break we will be right right right right right right back with Bobby Lee it's gonna be a ton of fun it's gonna be a total blast you are not gonna want to miss this it's gonna be so insane so guys we will see you in a brief moment Dan take it away thank you to stitch fix for sponsoring this episode you can tell when our guys got style when they don't when they're looking this good well looking this good a t-shirt and a hat and unshowered isn't easy shower I shower last night okay so I'm not completely unsure but you know what I mean you can tell when a guy's showered that should be the start of their coffee you can tell when a guy's showered order a shower guys it's tough to find clothing out there it's hard enough to go to the mall I don't even know where to buy clothing let alone what to buy that's why stitch fix is so awesome you sign up they give you a personal stylist a K your mom or girlfriend in virtual reality who cares about you unlike your real mom maybe that's just me I don't know my mom loves me but this person is gonna it's their job to make you look great yeah tell them your sizes how much 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promo code h3 go to bowl and branch comm today for $50 off your first set of sheets that's bol el and branch com promo code h3 bowl and branch com promo code Ashley thank you so much to our sponsors and now let's watch and talk with your boy Bobby Lee hey welcome back everybody here with the funny great wonderful Bobby Lee oh my god thank you so much for saying that oh thank you for being here it's really cool to have you here I was kind of looking forward to it because people on the Internet's yeah is that how you say it you could say yeah and they were like you weren't are you gonna do it and then I for like weeks and now I'm here I can't believe it that's really I can swear [ __ ] yeah oh yeah yeah it's so good why you can't swear on your podcast no I can but it's like some places I go and they're like you can't swear or talk about like your penis or and things like that and I'm talking about your penis Oh talk about your feet I encourage you to talk about your feet my feet I want to get my left foot my left foot is a disaster zone what happened because um well I don't wash it and then also what do you shower or bathe and people but pick your feet out no no what happened was years ago I started going to the Korean spa and then my feet started getting Ichi's and then all of a sudden I went to the hospital and they said um that I have like stage 9 gangrene on my left foot what like put foot fungi are you serious nah don't it's not like operable you cut it off no no it's not at that level no it's not like Vietnam War like you know level and so so what I saw your feet you're wearing sandals in it they look like the bottom of our disaster can I see no no no maybe afterwards you won't show I've never shown anybody I mean you're wearing open sandals the whole anyone walking behind you can see it no I know but they need to breathe that's why like I go to New York like during like snowstorm yeah I don't wear sandals people like what [ __ ] you don't happens if you wear shoes and socks it gets worse on in the itchiness gets worse and then they give me an ointment and I refuse to put it on why because well I put on my right foot but my left foot I like a ditch a why I like scratching it so you are intentionally a promoting gangrene on your face that gangrene it's like the foot fungi so you're promoting [ __ ] fungi for the joy of itching it yeah I just might end them my girlfriend like 4:00 in the morning this is what she hears that's pretty twisted yeah yeah I gotta admit yeah it's pretty twisted yeah why if the relief though doesn't cause belief it's like good I I'm I'm more along the line of Bobby in that like if I have a bite I'll H it off yeah then I'm done I like it when it bleeds a little bit I don't necessarily go after the blood but you don't you know I'm a blood guy for sure all day every day you were you're a sick man and I like it then it dries and then that the scab happens and sometimes it depends on how I feel I sometimes it'll eat it I believe you have you ever used to get your own scab why do you eat it I feel I have to say [Laughter] about about the experience of eating your own it's like home jerky oh my god like Madden man made jerky that you're making on your body would you ever eat another person's no no no I can only add my own booger as my own scabs and stuff like you what what's the matter do you eat would you you eat your own boogers so do this I have tried well not every day not every day but I've got a couple times a year I've done it here's the thing so what okay so let me follow that cuz is it just like when you have a nice fat juicy satisfying burger that you pop it in like a tic-tac no I mean you know what I do what other humans do is that you know you pick your nose and then you roll into a ball I do that there we go right I don't that's the truth put in your mouth and let me just say this right now I'm in my 40s so um you know I'm an adult so I don't do it every day I don't do it even once a month but a couple times a year right I'll roll a nice ball I'll look at it there's if there's different colors in it like a little blood a little bit of like a darker or like grayish thing and if it's like juicy and hard at the same time sometimes I pop it in if it just looks because let me say this right now my friend how is that disgusting it came from inside me yeah but so yeah just put it back inside some things that come from your body aren't meant to go back in like [ __ ] its excrement it's waste oh that's true I don't do [ __ ] and piss that's right that's a good point maybe maybe we need to yeah but can I just say this kind of make it it but there's also a taste to it that's a little satisfying right I'm a salt man so I know that people eat boogers yeah I just I'm not saying this to like hide my shame yeah never eaten a booger you've never eaten a booger I know everything like kids do it but yeah have you ever smelled your own calm well I haven't like I am not that way yeah me too is like it when you come in on that dry when come dries it has a smell well I've never dried come when do we feel like you have like a little farm I do I come from in your bathroom sometimes if you're at home by yourself and you're feeling pretty - pretty couple lonely yeah it's and then all the sudden there's like a whole pile of comrades oh yeah bad there's a smell yeah what is a smell like I'll tell you what it smells I'm able to be exposed to chlorine yeah does it not smell like chlorine it does have a smoke Lauren yeah we almost wanted we open wrong know this yeah yeah we open although we're not well what I want to go back no this is a perfect opening of this is that I see you're vaping and I know you're a vapor yeah we have a vape that is somewhat ceremonial here at our show sure and we wanted to know if you would try hitting our babe I would I'll do whatever you want me to do bring it in yeah yeah show me your feet you'll be the person my girlfriend you'll be the first one to see it on camera yeah I don't want to show it to the camera though you can look at it what what is this oh my God look at this is no joke I'm sober so it can't be marijuana though yeah I don't want to I don't want to relapse on your show it's not even tobacco it's just vapor this is so here's the button here yeah you just push and suck what kind of flavor is it it's a unicorn don't I love Donuts so here's I don't want to mmm so you have to push the button when you okay so if you want to rip it fat as possible it's not a competition but people are competing I don't have when you rip up that when you cough the smoke disappears I don't want to do it again you absorbed all that thank you man it's a hundred-fifty battery mod but did you get it for free or did you on paper we we've paid a lot of money for that oh my god we paid dearly we had a sacrifice to intern he wasn't that good did you - me - entender how did you guys mean man you know what I it's funny I I feel so bad a way for people who are like on tinder it seems rough we met pre tinder all pre tender that's great I met my girlfriend on tinder really love exists on tinder yeah I know a lot of relationships that start on tinder I mean that's just how people date these days yeah it's like how do you meet people anyway I know if I was single now I wouldn't know how to meet yeah but you know what tinder is great because you'd run into people yeah a lot of it's like you know hit and runs you know just tap it and then you go right some people use tinder for that aspect I used it for love and it worked I I swiped right on kalila it was my third day and matter three days in well I did my third yeah my third date I had already got out with two other people she's my third one and then yeah and then I've been with her since Wow that's five years is the best endorsement of tinder ever a cool yeah I mean you can tap and run I did that for the first two right yeah but you feel guilty about that I like tapping a running well do you not think that they wanted to tap and run maybe no because I'm never a one-night stand I'm like if if I get if I girls want to have sexual sexualities with me can I say it that way it's got to be a little girl but sorry but it's got to be long-term I've never been like I had a friend named Callisto and we would go to a bar and girls would look at him and go yeah I'll [ __ ] that for one night right but they would look at me as like I only [ __ ] that that's a relationship right right anyway I have to I have to be in a relationship for me to get any kind of sexualities interesting yeah what do you mean what I don't know just listen you know I relate because a guy that looks like me we I think we have similar yeah because because like I'm not I'm not like King dong I'm not a Jack I'm not handsome thank you for the endorsement and I feel the same way about you as well we can just write abrogate we look like somebody drew us but yeah yeah you're like we're like not real human but like Tim Burton what I'm gonna experiment alright yeah yep what so I saw you a question we met in Israel on birthright what do you know what that is what it's like it's it's a weird thing where it's it's it's a bunch of rich Zionist send young Jews to Israel for free or free trip and the hope that like they are and they're gonna learn about is birthing in you a joy for the Jewish motherland right I move there it worked but I took her back so it failed no you took her from there yeah I'm gonna move together back that back together yeah I lived there for five years it was a long process of going back and forth oh wow I live there five years we got married and then we got a green card and said smell you later are you Jewish yes can you not tell tell really yeah Eva doesn't really have a Jewish thing cuz she's she's a she's she look Jewish no she looks uh no you look artistic though that's no you look like somebody that was like an artist from the 40s not that you know into the age I'm not saying that you look old no I think there's a photo of you like these are Spanish art oil painters from the 40s Maya and your face was in there I'd be like yeah I believe that's special what do I look like you look like that be real and IIIi need any harsh criticisms well the way you're dressed now I wouldn't be surprised to see you toss in some you know beef and broccoli yeah but tossing oh because you've got like a chef thing and you've got a beanie on yeah Wow good nice hair now now that everything now is different thank you you look like you could be dropping some bomb-ass - it's for a marketing company thank you so much so I look yeah yeah thank you that hair could get you by and you know what kind of race I am or at your Korean how'd you know I read cheerfully Korean for sure yeah you know what do you what about me did you write em I know right well that's not really but like what country am i from you're from America yeah yeah everything about you is America yeah but I was I was coming you know what you do now if I look at your arms you are Jewish what does that mean what did you recognize well it's just say uh III gotta like I gotta say this and I uh I gotta think about what I'm saying here just say it just be blunt no I don't wanna be bothered I want you don't want to be blunt no because I have friends yeah okay that our writers like my friend David King you know David King he's a great writer I love you were wrote for love okay you guys have the same arms and hands right okay and I I don't even meet I don't even know what that means you just they just look similar and so that's all I'm gonna yeah that's all I'm gonna say but I get the sense that you're trying to get at something no you just have a Jewish man's body okay that's my do you know I call them and go get like skinny arms because oh yeah ya know I've always that I've always known that I'm both fat and skinny at the same time that's all I say that's fine and I'm not trying to make fun of you but you you have like a very like you have like and you have a similar body I've seen you shirtless bless you and you know or thank you you've like got the whole thing like real you know I did this to my own body well I did yeah well you over are you implying that I'm just somehow doomed to these pudgy folds these doughy this doughy prison so I used to be fit I played water polo yeah in high school yeah I was tanned I had curly hair and girls wanted to suck my dick believe it not that I ever losing you of laughing unfuckable I wasn't [ __ ] for about a year yeah my life were you ever [ __ ] I don't think I ever was because the thing is is that I grew up I'm older than I am so in the what I'm older than people think I am how old are you well guess I would guess that you're about 40 when you said all right forty-seven that's why great really god bless you really god bless you I look great on you don't have any grip or anything I guess before you said 37 I honestly would have guessed I would I just say something I love Israel and I was gonna guess lower but I knew I guess on the high side wow look at that look your face is deceiving but with the whole situation I would say 38 it's a rough life though but in a way in a way I like because it's like I still have life ahead of me alright oh my god it's you yeah but like on average yeah yeah yeah let's say it's what it is is the the sprinkly white yeah it doesn't help that don't help he had it since I when we met it was 21 and he already had the white hair he did yeah yes so that's you know my life but also it's kind of [ __ ] if I wasn't a pudgy dobar I just imagine a world where I'm George Clooney that's it no just imagine that world for a second yeah and I know I'm a guest on your podcast right but there's no [ __ ] way maybe George Clooney there you're not in the same category I think that I just luckily you're not ugly but you're not George Clooney I just did imagine a world I try on fat show him fat you know that is he's the guy from Crouching Tiger and Dragon that's right there we go you're like you're the guy who got this [ __ ] the shirtkin in the forehead man no you're not Shelly I'm fat thank you you're Clooney I'm you know what I'm not offended but yeah ii-i've never have been deluded about like go back what you said like you I'm not the kind of guy the girls are just like oh I want to [ __ ] that guy yeah I'm either and that's what you mean you have to you have to woo them you have to romance them you have to be like hey you know there's other things I can cook right but could I just say this I can a great point where you're making yeah okay because if I was from the gate a guy that women wanted to have sex with I wouldn't have developed that portion of my personality to drive me into what to drive me into where I went yeah I agree do I understand and I agree I used humor as a defense mechanism exact because I was picked on and whatnot yeah and and because I didn't get girls in high school and whatnot that it drove me into like I gotta try to get laid so I need extras it's like Wolverine he needs the claws well it's true and and developing a sense of humor is something that can be attractive that you develop in lieu of being a disgusting monster yeah like I'm basically notes true Dom right hunchback yeah yeah you know yeah not yet but you know I remember the first time I had a crush on a girl it must have been I literally kindergarten and I was being foolish and she giggled and I remember the first time I made a girl laugh and I was like I never forgot it I was like [ __ ] like there's something to this [ __ ] yeah you know what happened to me who fee business when I was graduate from high school I was a virgin right me too by the way so thank you don't be too worried about it I'm not worried about it at all I'm kidding okay hey don't don't stress I'm not a lot of people graduate high school a virgin right and but I didn't really even get laid until I was 23 mmm but I had I had I did some I paid for some yeah but that's fine I don't feel bad about it it's fine yeah god bless you god bless you but at 23 I started doing stand-up and what happened was I imagine this and went up on stage one night it was a Saturday night I hosted the show at The Comedy Store in La Jolla and there was a girl in the front row blonde girl hmm and I said to her she looks sad because the night Chris Princess Diana died mm-hmm and she was sad I go don't be sad about it right I said that to her and that night she called the club and said hey where's that little Asian guy and then I got on the phone and she goes he want to hang out and then three days later she lived with her mom and I was sixty-nining with her and her mom was that your first sex act yeah that's right into the race yeah white white girl a blonde and I couldn't believe it so there's our ass cheeks like hey like this and I was going thank you God and so that was your impactful and that's when I know I got to keep doing this comedy when you were face deep in vagina you realize yeah yeah and it changed my life and then I've been like yeah and I just kept pursuing it would you say you got in the car me for the explicit reason of of girls because I've heard other people say that I wouldn't that's just say that's true for me but I know it's true for a lot I don't do it for the people right I don't give a I mean I'm I'm happy that people come out to see me but we sorry we have this [ __ ] lunatic who shut up YouTube on the screen let me get her out yeah yeah yeah that's better that feels better just a lunatic lunched lurched over us who was that person it's the girl you've probably heard that there was a shooter at headquarters yeah that was her why did she do it well clear well the reason is that she thought YouTube was suppressing her channel but obviously the real reason is that she was terrain crazy yeah there's a lot of crazies even in comedy like in the open mic level you can just weed them you can see them yeah people are just delusional well it's battle of the I mean it really is battle of the fittest right there are the open mics oh yeah well you know what it is is that it opened mics you have people kids that have the actual talent right but they're so mixed in with the crazies that it's a difficult difficult life to lead you know you have to somehow you got to somehow get through it for years and it's really it's really just depressing really I mean yeah that's what I've heard from I never went through the I mean coming up on YouTube is a whole different yeah what's a better it's a better it's a better situation for for kids now I mean you imagine in the 90s when I started there was no YouTube there was no Twitter and you had to just do stand-up with a bunch of homeless people and like crazy is like you see it like a transsexual [ __ ] can I say major you could say major yeah and they're alive same show you are and they're like what's that man had we're gonna make it and you're like we're gonna make it because I'm here do you remember any the worst like the worst [ __ ] you saw on stage and those early days what was some of the worst axes oh my god I mean you would see a guy like you know come on walk on stage and you know they're like oh this is fine and then you look down their penises out what that's a great that's a that's a tough act if it's a tough act phone yeah yeah penis is hard my I couldn't do that with mine because mine is um your dick is gray why I don't like it's not the skin Cottone of your face no it's no no no no no it used to be purple you should be dark you know in MADtv when I was on that TV they used to call me black sack black because my sacks were so dark like a pirate name thank you but everyone on the cast had seen your sack enough to nickname it yeah and that's not good like Jordan Peele all these guys would call me black sack good morning black sack high but so your sack is dark but as I got older in my 40s my penis looks like a sick alien do you ever see the movie et yeah Rudy was sick in the river oh right he was in the road array yeah so if I pull it out like flowers will die blows gone yeah that's that's tough I said huh but you know what my girlfriend still likes it that's the most that's that's I'm went on it's nice yeah to her it's more like the glowing finger the way yeah yeah there's barely a glow but you like your penis so when I was younger when I was like a young man yeah yeah I I thought I was like I was proud of it there was a there was a moment I walk around use can I call you a Jew you can call me dude yeah every Jew Jewish person that when I've seen their penis deep in girthy thank you yeah well I thought you were accusing me of having a small dick oh that's what you're getting no I wasn't no I wasn't because I've seen Pauly Shores so many times and it's like you know Oh Polly shores strapped oh my god I'd like a ride at Magic Mountain loop to it right it's like it does like a it does like I like this because of years of just using it in a terrible way you know I don't have any loops or it's fine that but every Jude that I've seen their penis it's been amazing and also every girl that I've talked to that that have pen it would you they say that they really are good in the sack oh that's nice I know I just looked at your wife and you winked that when a wife was sorry for me that felt weird yeah cover up there was a point when I was real proud of my of my penis but as I've gotten older and fatter and my balls are droopier like you get bigger so your dick looks smaller getting fatter that's interested in I'm getting work I'm in worse shape recently and and when I was a kid I remember thinking like the day that my balls droop lower than my dick yes the day that I'm old and I have to tell you my it's been a long time since I remember my dick drooping lower than my balls yeah when it's when it's like in its sleeping State yeah my balls look like it's just Asian food it's like kind of food are gonna dumplings oh don't blink yes right there yeah like fried dark you know and they just they've always is that a thing is that a Asian thing where the balls are dark because while your balls so dark yeah but because like no there's different colors going on I don't know I'm gonna beat ya up a little [ __ ] the feel on it yeah I put like a little tin foil things underneath no I think that I don't know why but I think that if you look at the people can get mad when I say it what I'm about to say but I think if you look at asian porn for instance Japanese porn right you know you did the the vaginal color of Asian women are darker purple mm-hmm I know if you noticed that but I'm sure that's it then yeah it's it's life yeah I'm slice yeah yeah so you're saying so Asians have a little de genital dark color it'll live and that doesn't make though it's not your fault Nasir gonna fault yeah you did it's not like I'm not gonna blame you for that don't blame me for something yeah I'm proud of my daughter sac good yeah yeah special it's extra wrinkly too is yours wrinkly man it's like a tangerine dude it's like one of those tangerines that like is specially made so that you can be like whenever a girl sees myself really wrinkly I go it's because they're wise I say no an easy peel oh it's an easy peel yeah easy peel yeah I got I want to ask you you are notorious I've seen you on these new shows morning shows and you get real touchy-feely with the I can't do that that's what I was gonna ask you do that now because shits change well I mean I can't do a lot of things that I used to do and I and I I've been touchy-feely with like news anchors but just guys and girls it's not just girls and I don't touch there I just kind of like either kissed her or I'll touch their knees but just in the joking way but you can't do that anymore so I'm very like aware of a lot of things I can't even squeeze another comedians ass like a man like Chris D'Elia the other night you know he is no you don't know Chris D'Elia if you pulled up a picture yeah yeah he's hot I'm bad with names yeah and I um I squeezed his bun he's like I'm okay with that he looked at me because I'm okay with it but don't do that to other people that's like an intervention that kind of thinks I kind of feel like that's him saying I'm not okay with this he's okay with it yes yeah he's looking out for you that's what he was looking yeah he was looking out for me and because I'm on a new arm ABC like family showed that like um I've really been like you gotta be aware yeah of it I read somewhere that you had signed some kind of contract with ABC that you had to tone down your behavior across them it wasn't that no no I just been told by my agents that like you just tone it down yeah and how was that been for you it's really hard yeah because everything that I do is and there's no bad intentions it's I don't do anything sexually like I don't you know nothing to do with sex you're making people uncomfortable as well as controlling situations but that's control people in that way you know feel disappointed it's not that it's just like I like you know being naked and stuff right and um but I'm willing to play get ball play ball so I've been playing ball and everything's fine good huh is that while you're compromising is it been worth it well I mean at the end of the day I'm in a dilemma really because here's the dilemma when I you know I was on MADtv for so long and it was a sketch show and I was back in the day when you could be free and after MADtv I was sort of I couldn't work really I just didn't really find that I was a hot commodity so I did the road and I did internet stuff and I did a podcast and I did stuff to rebuild you know my fan base and I've been I've been very comfortable in that world you know I love doing things there's no rules yeah I love being with you too right now I feel a kinship and a bond but we're fellowshiping thank you we are definitely fellow definitely fellowshipping yeah no but but then it's like I look at my friends that do sitcoms and they do more corporate entertainment audition yeah and they make so much money right and so you know oh you know you're on the internet internet for a long time and you look at that you know the glossy like the billboard and like people you know smiling you know going eh we're making money oh I want that yeah but then not when you're on it it's a little weird but I'm willing to play ball try it out I'm trying it out I've done it before I was on a show called animal practice it got news about animals and stuff but um it got cancelled right away but this one it looks like it could be on for a little bit so give it a shot I'm getting walks I there's nothing I can do I have to do it yeah you know I need to I need to get out of my apartment mm-hmm because I have three dogs two dogs and three cats what do you mean have to get out of your apartment you're saying it's like a financial thing like no I just have so many animals when I bought my condo you're talking about literally you just need and I wanna be there no no no no what I need to do is I need to buy a house yard right right right because I don't know if you know this you have how many dogs do we have one one I Neil oh you live in a house yes yeah we live in a condo but its third three levels up so every four hours at the crown yeah and it's why we waited so long to get a dog because before we lived in apartments our whole life yeah so we never got a dog because we I knew it wouldn't be like that right but a dog is life changes oh my god it makes the life so much better yeah it's kind of blowing my mind yeah it's so shredder the little guy you know I love sons under the table so it's he was first time I had I had dogs my pet and so and and it's my first dog since I was a kid which doesn't really count I didn't give a [ __ ] because I was just a [ __ ] kid but it's like a magical beautiful it really is life-changing it is such a sweet innocent lucky just loves he's just so sweet like I'll tell you I'll give you an example now he's he's just got potty-trained he's good so we had him in a cage for a long time and now he's out and free and we have like a tiny little stairs so he can come up on our bed as he as he wants to and every night he'll climb up on the stairs and he'll like settle next you on the bed he'll crawl up right up and like nestled on your neck and just and it's like the sweetest [ __ ] I have pictures when you were sleeping last night I don't give a [ __ ] about the dead air that's gonna like this is more important but I want to say talk about my two dogs oh look at that why do you sleep like that like what I mean you have all the blankets over your face you can't like you don't that's how I comfortable all you do yeah oh wow and if I can be yeah it can be summer and I'm like super hot but I have to have the blanket like all over my she takes all the [ __ ] blanket and oh I know it's a meme and it's like everyone jokes so we used to have a queen-size bed and like so I was like of course she takes all the blanket there's nothing so we got an extra large super massive king-sized oversized blanket yeah there's enough blanket for 20 people and somehow I still have no blanket yeah my girlfriend things the blanket is a tortilla and she's like I'm a burrito yeah you like wrapper way right and then you're like you know it's brutal I know it's a jet happens though cuz I'm just sleeping sometimes you control it oh no you know you know what you're doing and sometimes it trips me up because sometimes all dare to take a little more blanket I'll dare and then I'm like you have enough in you're like yeah I've funny sounds like you had all that spare blanket all this time when you guys fall asleep cuddling or no no no chance I I can't no I who can even a even if fingers touching me I can't sleep I agree I'm not like a you you just cannot I don't believe that anyone can fall asleep cuddling I don't think all day oh yeah people yeah they may be in love each other one of the same yeah I don't like sleep that way maybe feel like a week yeah after you've been together for more than a week if you're still cuddling that wrist it's not gonna last I give it I give it come on yeah but Mike you don't I say this is that and I feel guilty about this but I love my dogs more than I love my cousins but they're cousins no I'm like my cousin my cousins died it would be devastating but still I'll still be able to play like Xbox play like you know Arkwright's five all right sound that crazy it doesn't right my dog died Oh out for a year yeah yeah cuz it's yeah it would be I would like maybe even I would Eve would you do that what taxidermy no I feel like that's it when an animal dies you you put stuff in it and it's still there I feel like it's like it would make more ever get over it right like you're always dredging up the memory of your of your you have huh what what what do you mean you have a taxidermy of a former pet no way do you do it mmm no what I would do is clone happen Barbra Streisand what do you think about that story how clone but it's not really the same dog it is close enough for me it's close enough is it satisfying I want to look alike right there but it's not your I know it's not but it's like you know it's it looks like it start over get a new guy there's love there's love after love love after life yeah but would it not have certain traits though similar and might well what she said is that they have got three right yeah she said they have different personalities uh you got I would say like we need to talk through her to find out yeah we get like if either one of you passed away would you clone the other person that's more weird no I would more also - you can't do that but oh it's not really an option I think they can do it I think they can do what they can if you can do goats and they can they just don't how do you think morally it's wrong it's illegal and I do so let me ask you this why is it is it because because you're not because you're basically dooming this person to a the we're single strangest most unusual unnatural life ever and also you don't have to tell them who can make that decision what are you that person what just go just look at your you know like a koala died and I cloned her right she's a baby and then right it's your daughter my daughter and you're getting married I know but I would never tell her I got you're actually like my ex-girlfriend you know my girlfriend why wouldn't you say where's mommy I go she died mommy I look exactly like mommy well that's called genetic and why she said I don't look like you at all I don't even look Asian that's true maybe you're right I think I think it's more of a problem because I think religious people would freak out because it ends the idea of God you know right the idea of like there's a god you can't really back that up when we can create our own humans also the family of that person what would they think right right but I mean but like all all moral issues aside yeah but it's fascinating it is fascinating and you can clone an animal but you can't get in their head like you could talk to a person and understand yeah what's good if you quit to Natalie Portman right and snuck up behind her right and then I snip some hairs right right and then made 15 Natalie Portman's without her consent right and you get some sort of sex farm sure that'd be weird that'd be fine yeah I think that would be morally wrong right but I think that if you know maybe right I don't know I mean it's it I wonder if it's inevitable it isn't ever because it's if it's possible it's inevitable not only that right black market will do it when the black market can do and they can do it and also real singular oh dude you're right people are gonna be buying sex slave Natalie Portman right like one creepy paparazzi is gonna snip a little hair yeah that's all you need yeah god that's twisted that's inevitable wrong and it's inevitable you can't wait I told you I would never do that I have a really good foundation how much would it cost for a sex slave Natalie Portman on the black market million bucks a half a million not familiar maybe a million yeah maybe even after a couple years the price goes downs and you can get her in Walmart yeah but you know if you got one you feel so guilty that you'd be like well you have to be kind of a sociopath to buy it now I would put it through acting class all right Jenelle you want her to be the real deal yeah and then like now this is the new one right here's professional - right right [ __ ] I know it's weird but singularity is gonna happen you know that I'm all about let me say might could I see something you learned and this is the first time we've ever met and I don't have a problem with you I like you a lot but in fact okay but what you just said there is a little wrong because I'll tell you why okay if singularity happens inevitably there's gonna be a war between man and machine so what side are you on my friend right boom yeah that's a toughy because once well yeah when machines go hey we were created by man we're smarter and we could rule the world so I think Elon Musk I was just listening to him talking about incidentally because he is an alarmist about it he thinks that we need to be scared about it oh yeah I think they do I do too actually and there's a lot of there's a lot of scientists who oh I think you misunderstood what I said I mean what I meant is by I'm all about it is that I'm interested in it oh I see what I mean I am look the thing is there's so much potential so the singularity when you hit that moment of AI so wanting to people what it is first doctor the singularity we've talked about a lot but the singularity is when super intelligence becomes self-aware yeah right and then in that moment it's like what is well what what happens you know where's Warren West as well so there's a there's our matrix even right sure that that's like the ultimate dystopian vision of it but the reason we're inventing super intelligence first of all is incredible because you can invent the super intelligent being or intellect not a being and say cure cancer and it's gonna crunch all the numbers it's gonna think about it like no human ever could and in a week potentially depending on how intelligent it is it can solve every [ __ ] cancer every disease yeah and that's what's so incredible about it the thing that they're doing is they're building prisons for it they're trying to build it in a way with rules and exceptions in prisons that it can't break out that this is part of the debate that's going on it's like can it break out is a novel that it's gonna break out what happens when it breaks give within an anarchist would break into that president right figure it out you know and connect it to the world and at that point it's gonna be it's possible that it already has and it's already pulling the strings right Elon Musk could be just an agent of the super intelligence like it could already be happening if super intelligence was on the loose maybe it wouldn't even reveal itself this master plan is already in the works all the strings are being pulled right now dude billions of people nobody can crunch numbers on that scale except super intelligence and it's all this [ __ ] going on the world with Trump Syria and Russia it's all the super intelligent being wiping the way ready to start anew right he's poor he's crunching the numbers I'm telling you dude it could have already happened luck thanks man I'll see you out there and doomsday but that's the truth right it could already be plugged into the internet maybe I hate talkin invited because it makes me feel so helpless like if like I are my personal brain would be so far behind whatever is going what everyone's will be I don't even know I can't even read you know you know you know the clock with the little hands read that I have no idea what time it is right I feel like if there's no digit all right but what time is out of it it's this right right I don't know so imagine that right I'm definitely gonna be just a pod gun I'll be in a pod yeah right it's just you know I'm me pop juice on me yeah any mistake and make sure to see that bad I don't know why they were so complaining about it right like there's that one scene in matrix where he's like the steak is dank why would I want to go back there and it's like that's that's kind of right and especially I thought about if I was like neo and I could manipulate things I'd stay in that world I guess I call it I just [ __ ] like crazy all day yeah that matrix 5 yeah it's a weird one yeah if we were in them like let me say this let's say we've realized we were in a matrix would you let him sex have sex with other people well what's the difference we're still our motions are still real right oh that's true I mean the love is real yeah the love is real my bad nobody loves me no no no but would you know I thought you you know so Elon Musk put it eloquently by the way just to sum up this whole thing I like the way he says it he says it's not that the robots hate us it's not that they are gonna go out of their way to destroy us but more like how we consider an anthill when we're building a road we don't hate ants but we have no problem clearing them out so we can build a road and that's that's how much that's the scariest thing ever my wife and I and they're so like a super intelligent being Oh far above anything we can understand yeah that's kind of how they see us right and now you know what we should learn from that and not destroy n Hills right we should go around it yeah let's send a message yes spare us Wow that's [ __ ] crazy yeah it really is it's it's it's real interesting because it's could as a potential be the greatest thing that's the best invention ever yeah and also the doom of humanity yeah yeah I mean I'm all into like nanobots like going inside us and like you know clearing out sickle-cell anemia if I have it do I do you think I haven't isn't that I mean I don't it's a like black people have it right you want it yeah what they say I want to be the friend I get it so sickle-cell anemia it's a weirdest and then ever they go it's only black I go not me and so it's a weird thing the only black people get oh yeah it makes you so it's a weird strange thing it makes you immune to malaria but it also gives you all kinds of other words yeah what is it do to you I don't know I just know that only yeah I know that African Americans get it so you are a bug chaser what yeah you know what that is no bug chasing it just comes up way too often bug chasing is somebody who wants to be infected with the disease specifically HIV why would anybody want that yeah I guess the theory is that they want to feel it's a it's kind of a gay thing and so they want to feel connected with like more connected with the community I think it's like Asians wanting a little dick so you can connect with the other exactly you understand yeah exactly it's not little it's black incidentally early now black can you here's another two could I defend the Asian dick thing though real quick yeah just any because you know you guys gotta have a lot of listeners I want to educate people yeah let us know it's not that we have small penises okay it's it's your dick is the same size as your body or proportion of your body sure so if you look at someone like Yao Ming it's not like his dick is like a [ __ ] yeah I mean he's got like a regular-sized dick for his side which is like except this yellow little like God you know I mean it's just you know stereotype you know whatever but I think that because I'm small I'm gonna have I'm not gonna have a monster dick on this body right that's all that makes sense thank you so you're saying that generally people think the Asians have small dicks because Jackie that's a little that's that's a dumb stereotype because let me see it Tokyo Drift explain come on what do you say about Jews Oh what done they say about Jews what are the stereotypes that you know about you let's answer those I feel bad because I don't agree without give it up I want to hear anyway yes a mom that you guys are armed with money great cheap ingredient with money I'll say of some Jews I know that's true but I mean but that's also true but yeah I don't know equally the same amount of people who are greedy there aren't Jewish and they always say Koreans or the Jews of the Orient never heard of that I saw what it is no insult right thing is because why we're hardworking and we're smart and we can like we know about finance I've heard it and I honestly didn't know what it meant yeah it's surely yes surely it is meant for but I don't look I've never even looked at it and I'm like yeah we're like two because look look okay I want to defend Korea for a second because people talk about like North Korea or Kim Jong moon and I'm tired of when why people walk out and go hey are you North or South Koreans it's so [ __ ] stupid safley is a beautiful place yeah South Korea is like incredible beautiful place also look at we're half a peninsula and I want to defend curry a little bit yeah what that little we only we don't even have the full country we have half of the peninsula and we have Samsung Hyundai huge corporations for little half a peninsula we're doing pretty good were the head of cloning tech technology great fabrics right great fabrics yeah so that's where Meryl Streep was at Meryl Streep I got the cloning of the dogs whose it was it was uh I wasn't Meryl Streep it was God I just said her name old white yeah a rich lady all right Sam Barbara did she do it here oh she went to Korea probably I don't think you can do that here yeah it's closed I see yeah yeah yeah no I've been in the sports I love video games and so I was playing Starcraft yeah I've game so well when I got into a whole like Korean culture was when I was playing Starcraft 2 Wow and dota wow you're really into it then dude I have 2,000 hours clocked on dota 2 you do and about the same on Starcraft 2 you know what I play what are you game stardew valley hmm that's that like farming stardew valley that's the new one right you making fun of me no no I played that [ __ ] for like 20 hours of farming yeah that's I'm just trying to understand it's the one that's out on switch yes I played it for 20 hours I enjoyed it but it was a certain point where I was like my farm is pretty dope no it wasn't dumb enough well that's the beauty of the bug no maybe why it's so amazing okay until you get the golden clock ain't no the golden cry yes you don't even know about that what is the gold clock do for you this guy Eric brony developed his game called stardew valley i'm just gonna start from the top from the top you know he was by himself he was it had a wife who work he didn't work and he just in his apartment he lived in Seattle and he created his own independent game you know called stardew valley it was based on because he had this obsession with Harvest Moon right we're growing up so basically what it is is that it's not just a some farming simulation game you can go in the mind you fight a monster I did do that and I loved it right you can fish as well you can fish really yeah you can fish unbelievable yeah and it's not just fishing though - it's like you could there's legendary fish you can catch and whatnot but here's the thing about it is it there's a wizard in the forest you know that the wizard in the forest Ryan countered it and once you have a relationship with him there's story lines with him and then eventually you can buy things from him and one of the things that you can buy from it and the most expensive thing is a golden clock I was gonna guess yeah thank you and what you do with the golden clock is it's ten million dollars so it's I know if you have to grind hard alright but when you get it it's great because you put it on your form and there's no more debris no more debris that's like oh so I know it debris is it when the [ __ ] grows and all that it saves you a bunch of time let me guess you got that clock Daniel there's no [ __ ] memory on your farm another way debris less it makes me want to try the game I think you would like it I think you would love it and let me say something it's grinding but it's the fun kind of grinding where there's always goals like I need to make truffle oil right or it's like I need that there's this thing called rare seed I need a harvest more rare seat so I can make more money and whatnot so there's a lot to do and I just really enjoy it I wanted to love it I want I put in 20 hours I wanted to love it but something just held me back I think in general in the past five years I found myself enjoying videogames less really because I have this feeling that I should be doing something else and it ruins the games for me and it's awful you don't know let me say something to you mine I didn't always have that and that's how a club that's our dice know you manifest things in your life you know that right tell me more I need help dude what else I'm gonna tell you a little story about me a friend yeah if you ask any comedian I'm the laziest of them all I don't write mm-hmm you know I don't eat well mm-hmm you know I'm I'm on the border of death I think I am you're rotting right now yeah from the feed off yeah I don't exercise I don't shower I don't do much okay but a lot of good things have happened in my life do you know why why is that visualize I can't and I believe and you don't believe you have nothing you were just saying before we went on that you were in a little fender-bender and you were visualizing your way out of it right yeah I do that a lot I try to think positive thoughts right and things the outcome of things are gonna be great for me how do you explain that I'm gonna explain it you really like visualize what it would be like what it is that you want yeah I'll give you an example okay on Barham Boulevard all right if you go around that bend you drive by Warner Brothers Studio mm-hmm and in Warner Brothers Studio they have these gigantic billboards of their shows okay so it's like and every time I draw a bond there I would be haunted by like you know these posters and in my head I'm like I want to be on a Warner Brothers show haunted because you want it to be because it was all my friends were on it right I'm like oh so I wanted to be on a billboard there right so that can cause my enemies pain right no that's the only reason why to be a you want to be grinning up there on I want like I have a lot of enemies I'd like ten of them yeah yeah and I want them to be stuck in traffic there and then see my billboard there I like me on a bill or inning and yeah and going and to cause them right what do I try to visualize my do you visualize them suffering or you on the Billboard sounds positive it's revenge in a spiritual way hello right right instead then what happened was I got on a I don't know if I would have my hat there's no billboard there yet but it could happen I don't know way of a Warner but I'm on a Warner Brothers show that they own and and guess how that show happened how so okay listen they called an even audition they just called me one day and they go do you want to be on this one they offered you this there and I go yeah I knew this was gonna happen it's happening my grants my plan is happening if you tell them that yeah they're like yeah yeah they're like okay and then I did the table read I did the pilot I got picked up and now it's on so let me let me Congrats but yeah first of all congratulate you thank you that's great thank you thank you so do you meditate on this like how does the visualization take well it's linked stardew valley you suppose yeah yeah you know I know because you know when pumpkins are growing you know how pumpkins grow you know my planet go in the game the game you plant you sleep you go in you come out they grow a little bit ERI right so what I'm watching else sometimes does watch the screen and just stare at my pumpkin patches I got it you're gonna look of it it sounds almost like more meditative than I mean as much meditative as gayness you sort out all your issues yeah I wouldn't have visualized like because are like little pixelated characters but I also visualize a little sexual things with the people in the village it's great is there a billboard of you on WB and other villages yes but um so sometimes I'll go ugly playing it and I'll just be just looking at my farm and I'll visualize things you know so that's so but no but so do you do you just hold on to the image or do you think about like things happening you know I mean I'm half joking because I'll be this is the real cause I know okay I'm gonna tell you the honest truth okay and then because I don't want people to think I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] all right the honest truth is this is that yes I'm lazy right but I also blue there is a blue there is a thing that I do where I believe that things are gonna happen for me it's believed yes I just I just believe it yeah and then you know I'll still show up to auditions and I'll show up to things and I don't stress about stress out about things and things just kind of they happen you know and it's because I've always been like that I think in retrospect where I just kind of why would you why would I continue to do something horrible like open mics for like seven eight years of struggling if I didn't believe that something was gonna happen yeah and I think the same with you you do it I think that this podcast is something that you manifested so you do it as well yeah yeah no I I relate to that and I think that I think you manifested her look what a beautiful wife she's bright she's foreign she's got exotic well tendencies you know I love it yeah I guess I don't know I mean I don't know I I worked my ass off for this one yeah yeah but in the work I like this what are we talking about her leg what did he do well I just didn't I proceeded I didn't think it wouldn't it would be an option for me because I was in Israel and it was hearing right so I was like you even think about even think of and then what happened for him to sway you he kept and like we started talking on skype but it was it was just very I don't know persistent I don't know but I keep going and going yeah it's just like see when you know you and I think there's a had a no yeah a lot of moments to just give up mmm-hmm so I did have a feeling of like rightness in it I don't know what this means what does this mean something but there was a reason that I pursued it you know because when you meet because people aren't like snowflakes there are all individuals right and when you see the snowflake of your heart right I say that you're absolutely right about the summer suit that snowflake with all your mind and your energy when I match with kalila on tinder I liked her legs and I liked her eyeballs really yeah that's it and when I met her face to face we sat out a coffee shop I go this is gonna be it I can feel it I need to really loose you how long you guys been together five years oh my god god bless you don't listen to you know a lot of times it's just I'm just staring it yeah I like your eyebrows you do thick and thin at the same time thank you for that that's out I don't know I guess there's a lot to visualizing that I think is true where it sounds kind of weird at first but when you think about it it's just really being focused on something yeah because I was always true yeah and I was always a negative guy like I you know I've been to war Reap drug rehabs and I've been struggling with drug addiction and when I was younger I was suicidal and and then I think when I got sober in my early 20s I mean I got my teens my late teens and I stayed sober I realized that there's gotta be something to this like cuz my life right now is just so dark and negative and I might pay money and I have no dreams that I just shifted my mental you know the way I perceive hmm how do I do that how did you accomplish something and that's that's a feat well I think I because you know that there's a thing in like if you're at 12-step groups people think everything you know cuz you believe in this concept of God right so then you kind of think um you know you know you know there's a step in it the third step was you turn your life and your will over the care of God right so you practice that at first right you go and so in your head if you think that there is this loving God not Jesus I don't believe in Jesus but you believe that there's this entity and energy that wants good things then you have to use it so I think that's when I started like really kind of going you know what I'm gonna try this thing of like praying and also I was at in a meeting once and this old man came up to me and there's this place called North Park men's meeting was on a Friday night and I went and I spoke at this thing right and then afterwards this old man I never saw him before or after this he got a kid there's something about you you should do comedy really yeah I go what and that was the catalyst and I got guys you should just tried to do some sort of hammer tonight or something he pulled me aside to say there's something right and in my head you could look at that incident and go oh it's just some random old crazy man or the way I looked at it was this is some sort of sign just a sign so an unbelievable unbelievable thing happened I was working at a coffee shop this is like four or five months after I ran into this man and the coffee shop closed but right next door was a comedy club hmm and I went next door to get a you know there was a Help Wanted sign another vine in my head it could be just a random coincidence right but I don't look at it that way something so I knocked on the door and this guy I answering that why do you want it was like the manager of the club like oh there's a sign you know that says that you need the bar back all right you're the guy from next door I go yeah you go alright and then I saw open and then I was washing dishes and I said the open mic night one night and I want you know I want to try it mmm right so everything remember that one yeah what I'm saying is is that you could look at life as a series of coincidences and you know but I don't look at life like that I believe that you and I us three were meant to be here at this moment Wow and we're here to get I really do believe that and that's why I'm here and that's why I'm enjoying myself me too by the way god bless you god bless you that's a great story I love that yeah so you know I think that's like grace I don't know it's like it's a beautiful thing you know when things like that like I'll do even one that last example of it there was this woman well I was working in the back door at the comedy show I was a doorman in the Hollywood and I was broke and I was I was checking IDs and there was a lady there her name was Ann and she would look confused and I go can I help you she's like I hate this club I don't know how to get in this club and I go what's your name she goes my name is Ann and I go you know what I'm gonna sneak you in the back I snuck her in I bought her a glass of wine that I I don't know why but I just want to be nice to another human being and she goes at the end of the night she goes hi I'm an agent and I go yeah but that's not what happened what NH goes but anyway my name is Ann and what's your name my name is Bobby Lee she's your comedian I go yeah and then when I tested for MADtv she was an executive there what and she remembered you know I don't know if that has anything to do with it this than that but in her in my head it's all connected in that way you know that's really and now probably all of your listeners are probably thinking that I'm a frog though and then I'm a deceiver and I live in black magic but I don't I believe that what I'm saying if there is some sort of foundation and truth to it so when you think of God how do you imagine that being that that gave you the grace to I can't believe that I cannot believe that like Catholicism or Judaism or they all have separate gods I have to believe that at the end of the day it's all one thing all right and people are just calling it a different thing I think that I don't know what it is I don't I don't I don't have a religious doctrine that I read like the Bible or the you know or the Book of Mormon or you know when you pray do you speak to some no I just I just kind of go I just believe in some I'm this an energy that's positive and that wants pretty much good customer mean I like that yeah but completely wrong what does it matter yeah what's what's right around you I really do believe it and I'm not changing my belief okay I really love the idea of not like a gut like I've always found the idea of like thick the it's more abstract it's not like a character yeah I love what you say yeah I've always found the idea of like a god who's just like perched up in the sky like jerking off and [ __ ] throwing lightning he doesn't do that he probably probably does that's weird well he's all about [ __ ] would be jerking off where's Neville the devil I mean what does he Natalie Portman is Natalie Portman yeah he's a guy it was created in His image he created a woman from his own rib so that he could [ __ ] it okay anyway the point is I've always found that idea I'll be fine for a while yeah you'll be fine but that even jokes like that I'm fine with because the thing is I don't believe in that religious right what I yeah yeah the my point is that this guy who's like judging you and think yeah it was just it seems how can you go through your life living that there's some guy who's just like judging everything you do like I kind of did cuz I grew up a little Orthodox in a way yeah and I really my only feeling about it now is just how stupid it is cuz it just plants this fear in you all the time what am I doing wrong today really like you oh [ __ ] I a dairy after I ate meat God is not gonna forgive me you had thoughts like that yeah at one plant there's like you gotta wait six hours according to some people but some people will wait three hours and then some people will only wait one hour yeah but but it's that nitpick it's like what's the why would he care if I waited six hours or three hours yeah and at that point why does he care at all and right the biblical God is such a vain like insecure weirdo yeah but it's like why would I even want to please this [ __ ] lunatic yeah I don't why would he create like also it's like the whole like the gay thing in Judaism is are gays persecuted or are they accepted I don't think they're accepting yeah well so there's different tiers like in Israel there's like it's all good to be gay but the Orthodox don't like the games right yeah yeah I just all that's that all that negative like we it's weird it's like you know it's like I I can't I can't buy it and I can't live by it yeah I just love all I think you know but I love the idea of just like a positive force that like wants good and just acknowledging yeah I could be delusional and I could be wrong but I will not change you know and don't get mad I get suicidally depressed do you oh yeah yeah I'll wake up and go oh my god here's life again mmm and all this weight and this hole in my gut and I can feel like you know an am penis right but I have to do things right - I can't just stay in that right right I have to do things like I'll try to help somebody or I'm like you know that's another thing is is that and this is gonna sound crazy but I believe that the root of happiness is to get out of yourself mmm and to help another health fellow human being and in the way I do it is I do it in the business of comedy I you know I don't want to I have a lot of character defects and I'm not the perfect human being but the one thing that I am good at is I've helped a lot of comics hmm like if a comic needs to get an agent I'll try to help more they want to try to get into a club I'll try to help you know I've had a couple of friends that were really good comics that wanted to be at the agency I meant I'll call the agency and go and you really have to sign these two guys you know so you know I do things I feel like to try to help people I don't think that you know here's what I here's that thing that I have to get over and this is something that I have helped a couple skies and they just would never help me back and then I get kind of resentful and I have to get then older that I have to realize that was a pure act the first bit at is pure and I can't I can't do the act right do you expect something in return right and that's difficult you have to be be like I'm lightened you know but there are large [ __ ] out there I just want to get this off my chest right where I've there's a couple of people where I've loaned a lot of money to it really big names and they won't pay me back who are like huge war on billboards yes but just FYI you know I gave you the money just because I love you you want to drop a blog just took blood no no no they know it's causes it'll cause a war they know though they know who they are they don't know who they are oh they don't even know who they are yeah yeah have you ever been like okay cuz if you're upset at someone you owe it to them in a way to be like hey I just won't let you know that I have all this hatred in my heart I've played video games and I fantasize about you being stuck I thought you know what do I think I would do that if I needed the money okay if I if I love but it's not about the money right and what about that principle but here's the thing is is that how much money are we talking about can I ask that a couple grand okay yeah enough that it's like what the [ __ ] you're a millionaire no we're top right yeah yeah yeah like there's one person there killing it I'm gonna even say with the gym I'm gonna write don't even ask that it's a female obviously if you would say that don't ask a gender because obviously what are you across all right it's a [ __ ] guy okay all right cuz this dude yeah right right this dude is killing it right and if I was broke right I would walk up to this guy yeah and go hey rumor I help him here and then put that a bunch of times I'm really not doing well I kind of need the money back but because I'm fine and I'm killing it that I'm just willing to eat it and just you know if they want to go here's the money back I'll even go like this you know what I don't even want a bad yeah I just want but they're games for even offering to pay that I wonder if they think in their mind they're like Bobby Lee is killing it he's giving this to me as a gift as as he's just trying to help me out or what's the pretense like you got to pay me back when you're good for it because it's Paula yeah yeah if that wasn't clear so in that way also you're right it's tough yeah it's tough it's fine I'm [ __ ] okay but so do you feel like maybe they still appreciate that gesture and now that they're like on Billboard's well do they stare the usual where one time yeah and I'm not gonna name the guy don't is it a guy yeah sure I can even give you that information I believe you own this this [ __ ] yeah I'm going to tell you there's a couple of guys I'm gonna get my grievances out I love it yeah I want to hear about this is one guy right I would see his first name okay John okay interesting okay his name is John were quote jay-z from America okay I was in America okay so he knows into Mid America he knows Mid America right what state what's his life oh hi oh I'm not there for John from Ohio this guy right was an open mic car yeah all right and one day he he had no money and one day this years ago he said I need I want to take acting classes but I have no money right and I go you know what you want an acting classes you're a good guy and you're very talented I will pay for those acting classes and this [ __ ] became famous hmm okay mmm and one day I'm walking by him at the comedy club you guys parted ways no but you know just moved on ya know you know you need it and we were still friends okay okay but one day he goes and let me tell you something this is years after it right and he never paid me back it's fine I'm fine over it and I was fine with it but then he goes I don't let you know you're not a real comedian Wow I go what and he goes yeah you're just a guy that was on TV and got lucky and now you get spots mm-hm I walk by him and I wanted to gouge his eyes out but why would ya I don't know but he became or did they likes coccyx here's what some people when they when they struggle and then they finally make it they've become like Joffrey King jockey from it could be that he you know he hated everyone the whole time but he was using them so he had to put on a face that's what it is no resolve was hidden right and then they said finally get a position real power and freedom and they just start lashing out right I don't like dudes like that it's all right John from middle of America who is that I'm gonna tell you I'll tell you afterwards I want to start a war it's awful anyone know I don't want to start a war I gave you enough clues right not to start a war but still there's a little bit of interest out there right you know these things you know that he is name is John right you know that he's from Mid America right you know he's a comedian right and that's all it's done that's all you get all right those are the clues okay I'm not sorry okay here's another one I'm waiting one last one yeah okay and this one I can even get more specific okay all right yeah his name was Kevin right he's okay age I mean can I say it's eight years in EndNote 8 what you're saying some kind of agent thing right I didn't say that but and I helped him out and he betrayed me your wife is like the is is that's it okay but your name's Kevin and United he betray you you know what's a betrayal well he pushed me at a comedy club pushed yeah he was drunk and he walked up to me I was at a table with some friends and this is what he said to me he goes look at you and go what he goes you know dr. ken Jeong he's doing so much better than you how does it feel to not be a star anymore right she was drunk I said what's wrong with why what's with all these Psychopaths I know so then what you know what I walked up to him at the improv and I go why did you say that to me buddy you know and he pushed me he shoved you yeah but Kevin and he has this right and he's a comedian okay that's all that's all I'm gonna say that's enough information I feel like to identify somebody that's not enough I just start some Wars I don't know I'm sweating now you were sweating before you know these two characters you know me want to have a little coffee with me and we could just smooth it out mm-hmm I'd be willing to do that mm-hmm that's great but okay so if I can't air I feel like to get to the point where you're willing to shove somebody I feel like you did you not do any offense to this guy well here's the offense yeah I feel like you're not you're leaving something out okay I want to tell you what yeah what yeah I did a tour with him yeah okay I'm yep I'm not gonna name the tour okay right and at that time the people that were on the tour I was the only name on the tour mm-hmm cuz I had you've been on MADtv for so long right and so they paid me more but it was a four man tour mm-hmm but you were the headline no we were all people equal in it but but man any more money because I was at that time the draw you okay fair enough okay yeah and apparently some people got resentment that I got 60% of the money it's a lot I should take less and I mean what I feel guilty I feel guilty for taking so much money and in retrospect if you know I would do it over again I would take away less and I apologize this is like mad but don't push me yeah at a comedy club and humiliate me in front of people sure it's all I'm saying Kevin if you're out there this is worth doing that Kevin his name is that whatever but if you're whatever cat yeah whatever it was Kevin but fine whoever's out there who knows who you are yeah we're mending bridges here I'm what about that first one what was there an offense in the first case as well no he just went on like a lunatic yeah okay and I don't know if that relationship will ever mend because um well I mean there's no turning back dog once I leave I think he needs to go potty yeah such a cutie pie he said cute dog he's the best what kind is that Yorkshire yeah carry on Yorkie yeah yeah oh you didn't want to he doesn't want to leave us though but he doesn't want to leave he just won't leave us because he's such a sweetie I think you gotta take him outside um dad reveal too much on this podcast I feel like I don't know something about powerful know something about utility change that makes me want to just keep I feel like something beautiful well I think that you revealed stuff but you also took blame where you need it right you've been through some [ __ ] man you know yeah you know what here's the thing at the end of the day okay at the end of the day and this is something that other comedians should hear me say is is that you you can't be loved not everyone's gonna love you that's that's not everyone's gonna love you yeah and you know Mitzi shore you know that is I'm sorry I'm sorry so the Comedy Store is owned by Mitzi shore Pauly Shore is mine oh and in this you know they did a movie they're doing a TV show they're called I'm dying up here it's about pretty much mid say ah but back in the day when I was living in San Diego um I knew mid said she's still alive but she's she's lost her mind sure but you know we should drive her around I've had dinner with her a bunch of times and one night she looked at me and just when she was coherent and clear and she looked at me and she said you wanna you know what makes a star I go what half the people have to love you but equally half the people have to hate you at the same time mm-hmm and I go wow that's interesting look at Roseanne people went on her dead but people loved her because eat both things causes one causes controversy but you want people to just to talk about you so I'm in Maine yeah and you know so in there's only a few people if you think about it there are completely beloved only I think Tom Hanks yeah here's one guy he's a rare entity where people but look you look at someone like Jim Carrey right he's so polarized these days especially right always true no I think even before his he was so bra so hammy that some people don't like that Cosmo comedy when you say that one of my idols or and even our inspiration for the show is Howard Stern yeah and he was like hated passionately but that's what you need I think to become a real star it's so hard to accept it though like the hate the hate comment well last week my you Tuesday night my [ __ ] show air a second time right and some guy tweeted at me you're the worst actor you should be recast right mm-hmm and that destroyed me it's and it's just some [ __ ] it's some kid on my yearly almost never left the house again right I laid in bed and kalila was out of town so I had to just week I was reading it on my own and it closed my eyes and so in those moments it's hard to manifest positive thinking I get paranoid I'm terrible right you know I should kill myself right but then you you called a couple of people and then they straighten it out you know you're talking you call your friends does this happen to you it happens to me I find I'm and I'm trying to break this cycle because it's so sick like I'll get a hundred really like passionate loving yeah wonderful encouraging comments yeah and then one guy that says something like that and that's the one that you don't forget yeah our cuz you know what it is they're there they're banging on your own paranoid fears about yourself right and then because you're almost looking for someone to verify your own fear yeah that's what it is and you're like I knew it even though everyone's like I loved I loved you and yeah I knew it I'll do a show on the road and I'll kill but I'll walk off and go I just ate it and they'll go why you killed I know but that lady that one night sitting there you know and she doesn't like me because I see no I showed my pubic hair right religiously she doesn't you know she didn't face boobs yeah yeah I have straight pubes that weird I don't think they don't curl it's not what I mean Asians have straight hair that is true it's a fact but because if they don't currently it's constantly scared you should bleach your tips that's so good like that one chef gaya died fury yeah half year fit guy fury Maidan you should do that his mine it's just a curly I mean it's almost like a desirable zone no it's not it's like a chia pet I mean I'm not kidding and it's awful it's swampy too you have a swampy dick well not the dick itself but like all the air it dick emerges from Raya it's like a beautiful tree coming out of a swamp yes you know there's a beautiful white noise yeah like a reverse away right right I just curly as well well it's not a surprise all right come on don't try to dip oh that's that's all I ask you ask come on give me a break no I'm kidding I'm kidding I'm kidding asking me what my girlfriend I don't want I don't want to Bobby I'm kid having friend ok good Rio it's like a flower dad I'm just kidding I don't yeah don't eat anything something that there's there's you know I love vaginas I do and I love the way they look it look like life comes from there that's true right it did says true but there's some style I don't like mhm and so when I first met my girlfriend like please don't have the styles of vagina because I liked her and I would have to just accept whatever she had down there mmm she probably in her head thought I don't want to et dick mm-hmm but she got she got yeah she got that yeah you got [ __ ] I mean but I don't like um jazz hands a China what is jazz hand with a butler that lipstick got like that and they did a little number oh I know well okay well I'm not asking well that I call I want it I think the technical game is the like the voles [Music] there's there's a part word they contain cool right yeah you know I saw a documentary about young girls and the UK who were getting surgeries to get that [ __ ] removed guys like me that I should never say that out loud whenever you have made that and it's good look it's whatever yeah yeah we're all got we all got our problems but the last point I want to make is here's another thing what I don't like about the PC and things and people getting in trouble for is is that you can it's like people are so sensitive now yeah that you can't say certain things I can't be authentic you can't be honest there's no help there right I'm constantly filtering myself and let's just let's be ourselves like let's not filter ourselves like sometimes you filter yourself yeah cuz I refuse you know how little people little beauty that was insensitive yeah I'm gonna call the midgets midgets yeah that's the one thing I bet you won't compromise I don't know how can I can I tell you about my about that one day what's the difference what's the difference yeah I know I was like I don't know just here's what my experience was that was I grew up my whole life and we were calling a midgets and there was no there was no implication of life right but one day I called him someone a [ __ ] and they and I get like blowback and so I'm like I didn't know what happened the world went on without me I made something for like six months they says they want to be called little people now yeah and I and I am think to myself that sounds more that sounds more demeaning would your little guy yeah yeah yeah I wouldn't be one of that are ya little guy yeah just a little person there it's like okay don't call me Oreo don't call me yellow people yellow people would yeah yeah but like it's also what I was saying is it's all about the intention right and it's so obvious what someone's intention is if it's ill-will or if it's just being I'll tell you the difference or if you're just being rough on the edges right it's like oh look at that cute little [ __ ] or let's hang that [ __ ] the intentions are do cute little midgets a little rough Peter Dinklage okay you don't need to introduce him as a mess yeah the guy all right the guy that works at Chuck E Cheese in a [ __ ] what wait yeah that's for that better or what you act are you talking about the [ __ ] yeah yeah I like the guy in Game of Thrones which one the [ __ ] yeah that's fine it sounds weird but it should be yeah it sounds weird you know what I love that anymore the little reason does that sound better who watch which portion on Game of Thrones do you like the little person that's weird yeah yeah yeah let's stick with [ __ ] yeah I don't know I guess yeah yeah you're right we're discovering we're learning at the same time I want to feel what it's like yeah we're exploring the point is that you can get a little bit offended and it's fine and you can move on and people can make fun of you a little bit yeah like I don't like how you you have to walk on eggs so much these days cuz everything could like ruin your career yeah that's the part that's the scary part it's not just like you offended me sir and I demand apology it's like you offend him I'm going to contact telling all my friends I'm telling all your sponsors I'm coming to your house I mean you have no idea what happened to me I don't know if I something happened to me what happened yeah I'm gonna say it but I said something I don't think that was that offensive what was it we have to know what it all right all right say everybody you know yeah but but now okay I and I okay I'll go gay I'll tell you I think it's alright alright yeah I don't think I should say okay yeah okay because because you know because what happened was I'll tell you what I said what happened was I was taught I was do I have my own podcast yeah Agri ballet yeah Bush and I did a whole episode on Asians and we talked about all the definitions then we didn't want episode about Mexicans I said one thing about black people right and then I got an email saying that if you I'm gonna blast you to us Entertainment Weekly and all these magazines if you don't give me 15 grand really yeah were they in a position to do that who was it was it some random person on the email I don't know and then they try to extort me for money right and then all of a sudden and in my head because of the climate I thought in my crazy head give this person 15 grand oh right so that you know and then I showed up I got a commercial like a pretty big commercial and when I was sitting there one of the a lawyer or something came up to me at the commercial and said did you say this about right and this person contacted them it was the same person yes so my point is is that it this whole environment there is a gradient no okay that's good no because they you know people vent you you know and and this adage they vetted me they know what I'm about and and that's scary too oh it's so scary and you want you once you're like got that one blemish it's like vetted and out yeah and it's like I don't like any chances I don't know what happened to our society I'll give you another example I have a bit about how I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome I've heard is it a bit it's joke I do on stage but it's real right yeah it's interesting that it's a dare you defer as a bit almost because it makes it but I did it and I did it once I was in on the road and some guy in the front row mm-hmm I I'm not making fun of people I'm just saying the designer happened to have down syndrome blessed me right and he's and he went out of his mind but he didn't molest me weird if he did because your son is probably young and this happened what make sense yeah why why would he be there why would your son there yeah it's insane yeah yeah so it's like people just get so sensitive and but the thing is I know yeah what can you do I don't know it's funny cuz louis c.k was like the champion of like and he had this incredible ability to Galant stage and say the most obscene things but he get it he pulled on me and then he starts and then he shows dick there one no he I can't even get into there it was he was the he was the chosen one who's bringing balance to the force I know but by the way I that's why I really love humanity wouldn't Ricky Gervais is really good it's all about that same with Dave Chappelle's to see his looks it's about that job yeah yeah which is it real hard yeah it I think that's just what it's you you're not an American if you can't talk and opinion yeah that's what life I mean that's the it's a freedom that's what American writers and you may not like what I'm saying but it's like you know I don't but even me I don't get offended you know if some you know like this guy named Andrew Santino right he's a comic he's very popular and I make fun of him cuz he has red hair and I think they're weird people with red hair so I also when I bring him up on stage in front of a packed room I'll go my redheaded friend that's weird that you know they're like mutants or whatever I might say and the he comes up on stage and does this meaning does that and it crushes I'm not offended by it because it's it's not coming from hatred yeah you know we're just having fun here guys but yeah and even if it does come from hatred just as long as well yeah okay that's why it's feel your freedom to say it is what I was getting yeah but like a fourth baby you harm somebody physically or something livelihood away that's that's not right no different yeah you know it's funny in a way because people choose to go after good people we just said something it's the bad people are doing stuff its way the people who actually do shitty stuff from a bad place do are the ones that get second chance Chris Brown beat the [ __ ] out of Rihanna and he's still [ __ ] shaking his dick on MTV yeah and selling albums but and like Mel Gibson I mean I don't know what's in that guy's head but he went on a an actual anti-semitic rant yeah but it hurry he'll never shake that he won't shake it I guess she just embraced it at that point yeah I won't say that that he got off on that one he didn't get off on I think that it's he used to be an a-list movie star oh I'm a huge fan of his I think Braveheart is amazing I love I've seen that Booga house I love I love him yeah my favorite is out an amazing he was actually my favorite actor I mean he's he's great but so you're not offended he said that so the thing is like it it's eyebrow-raising what he said yeah but it's not gonna [ __ ] ruin my day yeah because he's not talking to me yeah I'm talking about you I don't take I don't take Jew jokes personally I take comments about me sometimes I take homeless personally but not the stuff about like oh he's a Jew yeah it's more like you know yeah good job dude nice work there on that one yeah cuz you know you know my favorite Jews another thing I'm on your favorite juice Wow top ten doctor what you know a thousand oh that's what I mean there's everywhere every one area you throw a stone in LA your head to five Jews he's we did you throw a penny in LA five just what I want my reps to be Jewish cuz there's Jewish and I love it does he bar mitzvah chi-chi bar/bat Mitzvah no she's not active you should have active Jew but she is Jewish hmm but she like giving example like she I did this when I was a long time ago did this commercial and I don't know if this is I'm getting in trouble for saying this but um they offered me $75,000 it was like a buyout hmm and she got me $350,000 in for our period give me your [ __ ] and she just was able to do it and I have and does that have to do with her being Jewish 100% it comes from the Torah there's a secret so you know most people think that we're just looking at the Torah and reading it yeah but if you hold a black light up my die now yeah because I'll be found with weird nerve agent may you have to let you go you're fine mom out the mill listen it's been two hours no yeah we've been on for two hours it's been it's been a romp it's a riot has been a joy and a pleasure it's been chemistry I thought that that we were like war buddies yeah we've been through absolutely and we'll see each other at those like PTSD meetings you know it was really a pleasure to meet you I want to ask you one question go ahead cuz we ask all of our guests this and first of all it may it plug some things before oh yeah of course I would do that right now yes so that you give me the opportunity to do so of course let's do it I have a podcast with my girlfriend it's called tiger belly we would love to have you guys on that as well yes we're there and number two I have a sitcom on Tuesday nights it's after Roseanne it's called splitting up together that's a good spot and it's doing pretty good so uh check that out guys nice so where can your well better be when is this air of this podcast tomorrow tomorrow I want to be at the Denver Comedy Works next weekend cool I'll put is there like a ticket link you can send us we'll put it on to do that anyway guys please support Bobbie Lee and all the the podcast is great Bobby Lee live on all my social media there you have it so what are you gonna ask me something friend so um if you don't have an answer that's fine I have I don't have one but it's customary that we ask our guests if they have any ghost stories or paranormal Albert oh yeah ghosts or UFO encounter unexplainable [ __ ] whatever you got well my brother and I have talked about this because my brother has his own YouTube channel or whatnot well this TV we be show and my brother and I grew up in a town called Poway California what's going on with water sir okay I'm parched and we know that half of our house was on some sort of Indian burial site that's his because my brother and I would hear demons we see demon collectively you would both hear the same thing and what my dad said later in life was um he'd said he said tell us one day goes I I don't believe in the ghost but every time I park my car after work I run through the hallway because I feel weird he felt but that's where my brother and I is bedroom bedrooms were in the bathroom but my dad would run past our bedroom used to see your own dad running yeah because of the fact that he felt an evil presence there in fact one day I thought I was possessed and for me to get out of it I jumped into the swimming pool yeah we had a swimming pool we did pretty good unless killer but yeah but enough to get an unwanted house yeah then when we moved out and it stopped but my brother and I were both possessed several times we thought I did you know you're good we fell a demon like like we would hear things and we were times when we would like be asleep and awake and we couldn't move we felt this presence and it's never happened after we humped out of a window into the pool no no it was we had one floor okay but I would run out of my bedroom one time and I [ __ ] jumped in this room didn't when I got out of it yeah I got out of it yeah but yeah we were on there's some sort of evil presence have you felt anything like that since then well at The Comedy Store you know that that place is haunted I haven't heard that's not Gus a couple of times is that a ghost island yeah there was a ghost named cause he was a in the 50s he was a mafia henchman that apparently was murdered at the Comedy Store it was a club called Ciro's at the time and I've seen Gus a couple of times double that I don't people Oh Gus levitated Sam Kinison by his angle and above it because you know Sam Kinison and Carla ball when they moved from Houston to the Comedy Store they used to sleep in the main room and one night this is what I heard from Carla ball cuz obviously Sam Kinison is dead that one night he woke up and that Sam Kinison was levitated by his ankle upside down yeah huh I could tell I mean next if I ever did this podcast again I can tell you a million stories that happened happened there really yeah so when we do ours D when you saw the goats just out of curiosity how did it me and my friend Ronny Sanchez did a gig at in Bakersfield is it back in the 90s and I parked my truck at the comedy store parking lot at 4:00 in the morning whence Johnny dropped me back back off at my car we looked up and there's a window on the top floor we looked up and we saw a faceless man wearing a table head with his hands against the window look yes and then we look at each other screamed we look back up he was gone yikes yeah so that's why that's terrifying yeah God bus thanks for sharing hmm let's let's let that sit for a minute not that I was done okay now we're done with the whole podcast yeah we're done Bobbi it was a pleasure man it was great just to sit here and chat with you and I had a lot of fun so guys thanks for coming thanks everyone for watching I hope you had fun I hope you had as much fun as I did thank you that was great it was really fun make sure to check out Bobbi stuff we're gonna put links in the description please support this wonderful man next week we've got Harley right from Epic Meal Time a very nice cool dude and a good friend looking forward to that so stay tuned and we will see you then guys thanks for watching God bless see you see you then

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 1,885,510

Rating: 4.877883 out of 5

Keywords: bobby lee, bobby lee h3h3, tigerbelly, podcast, h3h3 podcast, h3 podcast, h3h3productions

Id: gTV5B1lBG_M

Length: 133min 0sec (7980 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 07 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/mcmalloy]

I really enjoyed this podcast. Absolutely hats off to the first half hour. I hope you'll feel better sooner than later Ethan.

Also I loved Bobby Lee on this podcast. Would love to see him revisit the podcast in the future.

[u/DreamingIsFun]

Definitely top 5 for me.

[u/[deleted]]

Around 10 minutes they really let their hearts out. I said this before recently, but Ethan is in a tough place right now. He had a fucking breakdown over plugging in a Amazon Fire stick into his tv. He needs to take a vacation or something. Take a break from Youtube. I'd be all for a month of no content if it meant a refreshed Papa and Hila.

[u/Professional_Mexican]

Anyone else subscribed to JRE on youtube? this is the second video on my upload feed today that involved people talking about eating boogers. I might need to diversify soon.

[u/ejsse]

The comedian there talking about must be john caparulo

[u/caringthresholding]

Best one so far

[u/hodors_mom]

I hope Bobby wasn’t talking about John mulaney because I love that guy

[u/youthfulxpression]

Big respect to Ethan for being so open about his depression. As someone who also struggles with depression, I sincerely hope it gets better.

Great podcast, Bobby Lee was hilarious. Loved the interaction.

[u/computer_d]

Yo, even Kanye needed a break, Ethan.